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Summary:

The minions don't take kindly to having a Quartermaster half their age (or more), and have no problem showing their dislike. Q is at his wits end trying to get his employees to respect him.

James might just shoot someone.

Notes:

Hey. I have a prompt. Q is having some trouble getting his staff to respect him, ordering people double his age around is hard. So James comes down to deal with them. Thanks! --itsrachsimpson

Work Text:

Honestly, one would think that Q had to deal with an office full of children. Albeit children who knew how to hack the most secure servers in the world and build the most deadly weaponry known to mankind, but children nonetheless. Was it so hard for them to accept that their Quartermaster was not some white haired and wrinkled old man?

Apparently it was.

Most of them didn’t resort to outward defiance, no, they weren’t that bold. For the most part, Q had to deal with their passive aggression: ignoring his orders under the pretense of not hearing him, purposely going over his head when it came to reporting to superiors, moving his mug and hiding his tea.

Honestly.

“Heaven forbid they ever take orders from someone younger than them.” Q muttered over dinner one night, stabbing his steak with a vengeance, “I dare some of them to treat M with the same disrespect they give me, because I know plenty of them are older than him.”

James allowed Q to rant, eating his dinner without a word (unless of course Q requested his feedback, which was usually in the form of an agreement or affirmation). Finally, after their meal was finished, James spoke, “Is there anything I can do to make it better?”

“Well I highly doubt you can bully them into behaving like adults.” Q shook his head, “Though I’m sure I can think of a few things you can do tonight that would make me feel much better.”

After a very long night (very, very long), Q did not look forward to going back to work the next day. Who would look forward to working with employees who constantly kept undermining his authority and generally made his life miserable?

So needless to say, he was incredibly annoyed when he went to open the door to Q branch and found it locked. Honestly, locking him out now?

Eve saw the frustrated look on Q’s face, “I really wouldn’t go in there at the moment.” She told him.

Q raised an eyebrow, “And why is that?”

“007 went in just a few minutes ago.” Eve nodded slowly, “He locked the door.”

There was a long moment when Q pondered just what James could possibly be doing in Q branch.

Then the sound of gunfire rang out behind the closed doors, followed by several screams. Q paled, pulling on the doors in some vain attempt to open them. By the time Eve got her access car and went to unlock the doors, James was already opening them.

“Oh, good morning Q.” The 00 agent smiled as if he hadn’t just open fired in Q branch.

Q ignored James’s polite greeting, “James, did you massacre my employees?” He pushed past his lover to get a look at the damage, “I know they’re little shits, but you didn’t need to kill—”

He stopped, mainly because he wasn’t sure what he was seeing. He had honestly been expecting blood and bodies to be strewn about Q branch.

He hadn’t been expecting all his employees to be sitting at their desks, doing their jobs like nothing was wrong.

The technician closest to the door turned to Q, “Good morning Quartermaster.” He said politely before returning to work.

The hairs on the back of Q’s neck stood on end as he turned to James, “What the hell did you do?

James shrugged, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

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