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Jihoon repeated his lover's name over and over again.
"Why didn't you come back?"
Jihoon couldn't take it anymore. The pain was too much.
Jihoon didn't want to believe it at first. His lover was a kind man. He was optimistic and was always smiling, that is why everyone was shocked when he just vanished, leaving only his favorite pair of rubber shoes behind. People said it was suicide, that a man saw his lover walked towards the beach. The witness said he thought that his lover would just watch the sun go down to make himself feel better, but when he walked by the familiar beach about an hour later, only his shoes were there. Jihoon couldn't find a reason why his lover would do it, but he prayed that his lover didn't really ended his life that way.
He couldn't give up just yet. He paid people to search for him, to dive the sea if needed. He wanted to see him again, even as a corpse. However, five years has passed, and no signs of his lover, not even a dead body, was found.
He went to the same place where his lover's shoes were found, by the bay of the beach of his hometown. He cried as he walked towards the water one step at a time. He removed the shoes he wore and placed it where they said that his lover's shoes were found. As soon as his feet touched the cold waters, he stopped to look at the skies.
'How could the sky be beautiful still, even if you're not here anymore?'
He now looks at the sea, but he hears someone singing a sad song, and before he realized, his body was sinking.
It felt so weird for he stops from sinking but he doesn't move up either. He opens his eyes and sees a man- no, it was a merman. The man had impressive features. He had this sharp jawline, this tanned skin, this jet black hair, this gray-colored tail, and a handsome face. He saw him smiled and he heard a voice in his head.
"Do you want to forget the cause of your pain, Young Man?"
Jihoon clutched the cloth at his chest. His tears fell from his eyes. He didn't want to die, he just wanted to bid his farewell to his lover, but he can't. He can't let him go just yet.
"Come, you poor soul. Let me help you."
He doesn't want to forget their memories, the cause of his suffering, but he wanted to stop the pain.
Jihoon closed his eyes once again and he felt a pair of lips against his before everything went black.
Jihoon felt something covering his whole body. He moved his hand, and it felt as if his body were floating underwater. He tried to move his feet, 'wait- what is this feeling?' Jihoon opens his eyes and sees that he doesn't have feet, he had a tail. The scales that covered his tail were in a pink gradient. It was an odd color, but it looked beautiful especially when a ray of sun is reflected by them.
Everything was confusing for the man. Everything was new to him, as if he was born again. Amidst his small argument with himself, he heard a voice followed by a whooshing sound. In front of him stood a man. Just like him, the man had a tail, but it was in a beautiful shade of blue, like the shade of his hair color. 'When did this man came here?' He asks himself once again. The man in front of him spoke.
"Hello! I've been calling you since earlier. Are you okay? You looked exhausted."
Jihoon watched as the man gave him a worried look. He thought that maybe this man can answer his question. He hesitates for a moment, but as soon as he saw how sincere the man was, he decided to trust his instincts.
"Excuse me, but what are we?"
The man's lips formed an 'o', before he muttered a short 'that made sense.' Jihoon just gave him a confused look. The man turns to him and smiles.
"You must be new, that's why."
Jihoon became more confused. "New?"
The man nods. "To answer your question, we are sirens, mermaids and mermen."
It was now Jihoon's turn to be enlightened. He nods his head, smiles, and mutters a 'thank you.'
The man returns the smile, "Since your new here, do you want to live with me? Well, I'm not forcing you, but I'm just worried that you're still not used to everything here and that the older sirens may pick on you." The man says. Jihoon hesitantly nods but agrees with the man. "T-thank you. I'll only be with you until I learn to live on my own, I promise." The blue tailed siren hummed in agreement.
"I'm Hoshi, by the way. What's your name?"
"Name?" Jihoon asks. He searched the depths of his mind to find his name, but he can't remember it. The other siren, Hoshi, noticed the confused look on the other siren and he scratched his nape upon the realization. "Sorry, I forgot that you have forgotten everything. If that's the case, I'll just give you a name!" The blue tailed siren says the last part in an enthusiastic manner.
They swam in silence before the older siren says, "Aha! I know what I'll call you!" The younger mermaid stopped on his tracks and anticipated what the man will say.
"I'll call you Woozi! Do you like it?" Hoshi noticed how the corner of the younger's lips slowly moved upward and watched as the boy nodded. "Woozi it is."
And their travel going to Hoshi's place was filled with questions from Woozi.
"Hoshi, did you give yourself your name?"
"Yep. It sounds nice, doesn't it?"
Jihoon nods. "Yes, it does."
Hoshi lived in a cave-like place without a roof. It wasn't very big, but it was big enough for two to three persons. On one corner was a big rock covered in many layers of kelp that served as a bed. Another big, square rock was seen in the center of the house. On it was a basket weaved from kelps and seaweeds. Woozi thought that maybe that is where the food is kept. Hoshi moves the basket to a shelf and finds an extra layer of kelp to cover the table.
"I'll sleep here, you can take the bed." Hoshi said as he gestured towards the direction of the bed. Jihoon nods and mutters another thanks.
"Sleep for now, we've been swimming all day. I'll tell you everything you need to know by the time we wake up."
He hears Hoshi sing, and it was the most comforting voice he has heard (maybe because it was the only voice he's heard aside from his own since he woke up as a merman) and he slowly drifted to sleep.
Morning came and Hoshi had already caught many fishes, but Woozi was still asleep. He admired how cute the younger looks like while sleeping. After a couple of minutes, he decides to wake him up. He swam closer and places his lips close to Woozi's ear. A playful grin spreads on his face. He took a deep breath and shouts. The younger sat up straight and panicked. Hoshi lets out a giggle, Woozi's lips formed a pout. Hoshi was not ready for the sudden cuteness, it stopped him from giggling. He cleared his throat and apologized before asking, "How was your sleep?"
The younger smiled and tapped the layers of kelp. "It was good, these were pretty comfy."
A proud look was seen on Hoshi's face. "Of course! I got these from Mingyu. He has the gift of creating and fixing stuff." He lets out a sigh. "I wish my gift was that cool." He now frowns.
"What is a gift, Hoshi?" Woozi asks. Hoshi turns to the younger and speaks. "Uhm. . . It's like a talent you have when you are still human. It's the only thing that reminds us that we were once humans."
Jihoon learns a lot of things that day. He learned that mermaids became mermaids when a human with a broken heart makes a deal with a mermaid to forget everything in exchange for a new life. The mermaid becomes human while the human is somewhat reborn into a mermaid, and that as long as there is a broken heart, sirens will continue to exist. He learned that every siren has a gift, like that Mingyu who made the kelp layers and the baskets where they store their food.
"Hey, how come you're so pale when you live underwater?" Woozi asks.
"Maybe to compensate for my lousy gift. Kidding, you should see how pale you are!"
Hoshi heaves a sigh. "Ain't I pathetic? My gift is dance, but how can you dance beautifully without a pair of legs?"
Woozi smiled. "You danced amazingly with a tail, what more if you had legs?"
He learned that Soonyoung's gift was dancing, and he wished his gift was something that cool too.
"Hoshi, why don't I see other sirens who live together?" Woozi asked. He doesn't know how long it has been, but ever since he came here, he only never saw mermaids that lived together like them.
Hoshi turns to him and rubbed his fingers against his chin before answering, "Maybe it's because they treat other sirens as rivals for those broken hearts, don't you think so too?" Woozi nods his head in agreement.
"Oh! I have somewhere to show you, let's go!" Hoshi reached for Woozi's hand but both felt a burning, electrifying sensation against their palms. Woozi mutters an 'ouch', and Hoshi apologizes. "Sorry, I forgot that mermaids can't touch each other. It's part of the curse. Are you okay?" Woozi nods once again. Hoshi smiles and tells Woozi to follow him.
Woozi realized that this may also be a reason why sirens don't live together, for they are bound to hurt each other even with the slightest touch. And Woozi hates himself for he's becoming more dependent of Hoshi, he doesn't want to leave his side anymore, but he knows he must do it one day, for they may cause greater pains for each other in the future. Still, Woozi pushed this thoughts at the back of his head and decided to live one day at a time.
It was one of those nights when the tides are high and the currents are strong. Woozi woke up from his sleep and starts crying. "Why does it hurt so much?" He asks himself as he repeatedly hit his chest with his small fist. "Why am I crying?" He sobbed. It was funny, how he cried but the tears don't seem visible because they were already underwater. He laughs at how pathetic he is right now. Soon he felt a pair of warm arms wrap around him along with a wave of excruciating pain.
Yes, it was indeed painful, but this hug somehow made him feel comforted. It may be painful, but it was nothing compared to the pain in their hearts anyway.
After a few minutes, Hoshi broke the hug and sat next to Woozi, with just enough space between them to not touch each other. "You know, I had a similar experience, except unlike you, I do know why I'm crying."
Woozi sniffed and turned to Hoshi. Hoshi continues his story. "It was a fragment of my human life. The reason of my broken heart is my mother," he looked up. "I found her, but she denied me in front of her new family. She said she doesn't know me, and that I shouldn't ruin their family that way. I remember going to a beach to clear my mind, but then I woke up not remembering anything."
Woozi looked at him as he sobbed still. Hoshi smiles. "I woke up like that one day, and I can't help but feel sad." He paused for a moment. "They said that sirens are void of emotions, but I don't think that that's true. We aren't completely heartless, we're just incomplete humans, that's all."
"I think that the longer we stay as sirens, the more incomplete we get, the less human we can be."
Woozi sniffed one last time before asking, "Don't you want to be a human again, Hoshi?"
Hoshi smiles. "Of course, I do."
Woozi asked again, "then would you kiss a broken hearted human to be human again?"
Hoshi shook his head. "Nope. If I gave up my life before just like that, I don't think I should get it back the same harsh way. I don't want someone to be incomplete, like us."
Woozi furrowed his brows. "Then how will you become human again?"
Hoshi smiled, Woozi swore he saw a twinkle in his eyes. "Do you know Poseidon?" Woozi nods. "He's the answer. If he can cast this curse, then I believe he could lift it off us, too. It was a famous tale among sirens, how Poseidon arranges a meeting once and lifts a curse off of some sirens." He sighs. "I know, it's like blind faith, but it wouldn't hurt to believe, right?"
Woozi smiled.
Before they fell asleep, Woozi speaks.
"It's unfair, Hoshi. I think you have two gifts."
Hoshi looked at him and raised a brow. Woozi continued, "one is the gift of dance, which is really mesmerizing, and the other is the gift of a pure heart. If Poseidon does exist, why is he so unfair?"
Hoshi didn't bother to hide the smile that showed up after Woozi said such cheesy lines. He gave him a grin and said, "I think you have the gift of words, Woozi. How could that make my heart beat so fast?" He the lets out a chuckle. Woozi muttered a 'sweet dreams' and faced the other side of the bed, trying so hard to hide the blush that showed on his face. Woozi thinks that maybe it was Hoshi that had the gift of words, but he just shrugged the thought away and drifted to sleep once again.
Everything was too sudden.
As they were gathering fishes for another meal, a large net fell and caught Woozi.
He was in a panic. His eyes searched for Hoshi, or for anything that could help him escape. He saw Hoshi swimming towards his direction, carrying a sharp-edged wood. He tried to swim as fast as he can but he was too late.
The net was hoisted up on a raft. Woozi saw the human that caught him and it has a smug grin on its face. "Who would've thought? It was another mermaid! Oh, a merman, I mean."
Jihoon's heart beats faster. He heard about people like them in one of Hoshi's stories, a mermaid hunter, one that kills sirens like them. He was too scared to move. Suddenly, Hoshi jumped on the boat and smacked the hunter with his tail. Hoshi grabbed woozi, enduring whatever pain they are both feeling, and dived into the water as quick as possible.
Of course it was painful, grabbing Woozi was too painful for both of them, but they managed to withstand it like the last time. They swam and swam until they've returned back to where Hoshi lives.
While they rest, Woozi asks, "Hoshi what happens to mermaids when they die?"
Hoshi looks at Woozi, a sad look visible on his face. "Nothing."
"Nothing?"
Soonyoung nods. "They become nothing, Woozi." He looks up to see endless waters. He sighs. "They turn to bubbles and vanish to thin air. It was scary," he turns to face Woozi once again. "I've seen a mermaid, she killed herself because she fell in love with a human. It was scary, not even a drop of blood will remain, no trace of the mermaid was seen. They will just be forgotten like how they forgot their human lives. I tried to stop her, but she already made up her mind."
Hoshi and woozi were unable to sleep properly for the memory of their near-death experience was still fresh on their mind. Woozi then hums and sings a song Hoshi has never heard before. Woozi said he made that song up. Hoshi smiles and confirms that Woozi does have the gift of words. They fall asleep next to each other, with enough space between them for they think they can't stand another electric shock.
Woozi woke up with no trace of Hoshi anywhere. He suddenly felt a gut wrenching pain, he hits his chest with his fist again. When did this start? Woozi doesn't know. He lost track of time since he became a siren. Why is the thought of Hoshi leaving him hurts his heart? Woozi doesn't know? Well he does. He knows the exact reason why. He's fallen for Hoshi.
He fell for someone who he can't even touch, who gets hurt with the slightest brush of their hands. Just the thought of it was enough to shatter his heart into smaller pieces. He laughed at how everything about him is just so pathetic.
Not long after, Hoshi enters the place where they live with a basket of fish. His smile was wiped off his face upon seeing Woozi. His heart felt weak at the sight of the man.
"Woozi, what's the problem?"
Woozi turns to him and he felt more pitiful. "I'm sorry, Hoshi, but I have to leave now."
Hoshi gave him a puzzled look. Woozi continues. "These feelings of mine, it's not right."
Hoshi couldn't help but feel sad. Woozi sighed before speaking up once again. "I think I love you, and you're a kind person, but I don't think this is right." He slowly swam towards the entrance of the cave.
He hears Hoshi's small sobs, "Please don't go."
Hoshi catches up to Woozi, careful not to touch him for both of them are too weak to handle those electric currents. He looks into Woozi's eyes, "I love you too. Please, let's make this work."
Woozi knows he should've left earlier, when they weren't this attached to each other, when they barely knew each other, but it was too late. How could he leave Hoshi like this? How can he leave if he gets weak just by hearing Hoshi's soft voice that begged him not to leave? He decides there and then that he'll do what he can to make this work.
They lived together still.
"And you, like a sea anemone,
And me, like any other fish,
We are bound to be hurt,
Except this time, we're both anemones and fishes.
We hurt each other with the slightest touch,
We're bound to hurt each other, nevertheless."
Woozi heard his partner, Hoshi, clapping and wiping away fake tears. Woozi let out a giggle and smiled, "You satisfied?"
Hoshi smiled, "tell me your poem about the sand and starfish and the sea!"
Woozi nods. "Okay, then."
He takes a deep breath,
"I don't want to be the sand,
That gets washed away
by a single push of the wave;
So like a starfish,
I clung unto you,
Like my life depended on it.
You are that sturdy rock
that kept me grounded, kept me safe
From all the currents and the waves.
And to you,
My sturdy rock,
I give you all my thanks."
Hoshi claps once again, more enthusiastically this time. They smiled at each other before Hoshi starts singing the song he once heard Jihoon sing.
"And even eternities, I'd spend it with you." He swam gracefully towards Woozi and extended his hand.
"And for you, I'd sing and dance," Woozi accepted his hand, but not really touching it. It's like they're holding their hands except they're not. There's a small space between their palms, between Hoshi's hand and Woozi's waist, and between Woozi's hand and Hoshi's neck.
'Pathetic, I know, but this is the only way we can do it without hurting each other.' Jihoon thinks to himself.
They danced and sang until they were too tired to swim.
They may be tired, but the precious memories they have created will be remembered by both of them till the end of time.
Or so they thought.
Hoshi woke up. He placed his hands on his eyes as he tried to stop those tears that won't be visible anyway. Woozi, who was awaken by the sudden movement, turned to see Hoshi. Hoshi has always comforted him when he's sad, so maybe it's his turn to return the favor.
He went in front of Hoshi, tilted his head to look at him, and gave him a soft, slow kiss on his lips. It was very painful, but after feeling the soft lips of one another, they thought that maybe it's worth the pain. Maybe this love was worth the pain. They pulled away from the kiss and they stared into each other's eyes.
A soft melody was heard, and each other's smiles were the last thing they saw before they lost conciousness.
Woozi and Hoshi woke up in an unknown place. In front of them was a large throne, and seated on that throne was the Almighty Poseidon.
"I will grant one of you the chance to be human again."
Poseidon pointed to Hoshi. "You will decide. One of you has to stay, who do you wish to stay?"
Without any hesitation, Hoshi bowed and answered. "Please let him be human again."
Woozi frantically shook his head and said, "No, Almighty Poseidon, I have only been here for a short time but he has been here fore too long, please let him have his life back."
Poseidon's laughter resonated in the place. "Blue-tailed siren, is that what you wish to happen?"
Hoshi nodded, Woozi was waving his hands, as if he was rejecting the offer. "Fine then. Before one of you leave, I shall give you both your memories. Think of it as a parting gift."
Poseidon waved his trident and everything came back to them.
--
"Soonyoung! Hurry up! We've got to go to the cafe, we got customers!"
"Wait, Hoonie, Slow down!" Hoshi says as he pants.
--
Woozi woke up to the feeling of someone kissing his faces, and he was right.
"Soonyoungie, it's too early, let me sleep." He says as he covered his face.
A playful grin appeared on Hoshi's face. "TICKLE FIGHT!"
--
"Hoonie, let's get married." Soonyoung says as they cuddle on their sofa. Jihoon, being the kid he is, tried his best to look cool and tried not to sound too excited.
"Yeah, sure. Call. When will that be?"
He obviously failed.
--
"Soonyoung! Oh my god! I got accepted at this major label!"
Jihoon said as he ran towards Soonyoung. Soonyoung smiled and showed him a leeter. Jihoon's mouth was wide open.
"Oh mY GOD WE'LL BE WORKING AT THE SAME COMPANY! YES!"
Jihoon says as he plants many kisses all over Soonyoung's face.
--
"Mom?"
"Who are you?"
"Mom, it's me, Soonyoung."
The woman's eyes widened in shock.
"I-I don't know you. Please just leave."
"But mom. . ."
"Don't call me that. Please don't try to ruin my family."
"m-"
but the words Soonyoung wished to say were left untold.
--
"Soonyoung. . ."
Jihoon repeated his lover's name.
"Why didn't you come back?"
--
He gave them their memories. They remembered that Hoshi is Soonyoung, and Woozi is Jihoon. Jihoon cried, for his lover that was lost for a long time was right in front of his eyes. He wanted to hug him, to kiss him, but for some unknown reason, the wave of electricity was even more painful than before. It's as if a barrier was formed between them, unable to touch each other.
Still, they did what they can to endure all the electric current. They kissed one last time, and the pain was enough to make them both unconscious.
Jiihoon became human again, but his heart felt a lot heavier than before.
He has no recollection of his siren life, of his life before it. He can't remember anything but a name. For some odd reason, the name Hoshi stayed in his mind. Doctors said he was missing for 7 months and was in a coma for 2 months after he was found.
Lucky for Jihoon that he still has his parents. His parents groomed him and helped him get back on track. Jihoon became a part-time writer for a literature section and the owner of Hoshi Cafe.
There are times when he'd cry as soon as he wake up, but as soon as he hugged his knees and hummed this familiar tune, he feels better right away. There are times that he'd write a poem and cry himself to sleep, but he'd be okay as soon as he woke up. There are times when he'd write stories, but he would feel like the stories were too personal so he won't give it to the publishers and would just keep it to himself.
Sometimes he thinks if he has been suffering from a mood disorder, but maybe it's just a side effect of his coma.
As he was closing his cafe, he notices the movers occupying the store next door. The movers said it was going to be a studio, one booth was made for recording songs while two big rooms were allotted for dance practices. He's been into composing lately; He smiled and considered to drop by the place when it's already done.
Jihoon wakes up one morning and walks to his cafe. He has been gone for a month because he was sent to a writers' summit of some sort and he was given a chance to do a two-week workshop on creative writing afterwards.
On the way, he saw that the dance studio was already built. He looks up and sees the words, Woozi Studio. 'It must be a coincidence.' His feet were frozen in place. His heart beats twice as hard. He felt tears start to pool along the rim of his eyes as he read the name repeatedly. His head hurts from all the memories that returned.
In the middle of his trance, he feels a hand slightly tapping his shoulder. He looked back and saw Soonyoung. Both had the same shocked look on their faces. Jihoon wasted no time and hugged the man. "I-I can touch you, Soonyoung. I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
He felt that the man had hugged him back and ran his fingers through Jihoon's hair. He places a gentle kiss against his crown and says, "You shouldn't be sorry about anything, Jihoonie."
Jihoon buried his face unto Soonyoung's chest and sobbed. "I-I forgot about you, Hoshi. I forgot about you, a-and I can't even remember anything even if I tried back then."
Soonyoung hugged him even tighter. "It's okay, you haven't entirely forgotten about me, Hoonie." Soonyoung smiles and breaks the hug. He points to Jihoon's cafe, Jihoon face that was already red from crying became redder. He hugs Soonyoung one last time and kisses his lips.
Soonyoung breaks away from the kiss and smiles.
"I'm back, Jihoonie."
Jihoon wipes his tears and lets out a small laugh.
"Welcome home, Soonyoung."
Soonyoung is very happy.
Jihoon is very happy.
Jihoon still had his gift of words, and Soonyoung still had his gift of dance,
They have each other again.
But unlike before,
It doesn't hurt anymore.