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Blaine lay curled up in bed, eyes tightly closed, willing his headache to go away. He had hoped to get more classwork done this afternoon, but at some point he had given in, turned off all the lights, and gotten into bed. He and Sam had only been in their new place for a few weeks and hadn’t done much to decorate the bedroom yet, but he was grateful they had installed shades and curtains, which were doing their best to keep the glare of the streetlights from shining in his window.
He dug his hands into his forehead and pressed down, trying to relieve the pressure that seemed to pound right behind his eyes. When he heard the apartment door open he braced himself for what he knew was coming.
“Blaine? Hey -where are you?” The noise caused Blaine to flinch and pull the blankets up over his head. He heard Sam taking off his shoes and the thunk of his gym bag hitting the floor. Blaine didn’t bother responding – it wasn’t as if it would take Sam long to find him in their small apartment.
Sam gave a light knock on the bedroom door and pushed it open, letting in unwelcome light. Luckily Sam seemed to get the picture as soon as he saw Blaine curled up in the dark, and lowered his voice. “Hey, dude,” he said softly. “You okay?”
“Headache,” Blaine mumbled into his pillow. “Can you shut the door?”
“Sure.” Sam closed the door and sat down gingerly on the bed. “Okay if I stay?”
“Yeah, of course.” Blaine slid the blanket off of his head and turned over to face Sam. “Sorry I’m like this. My head is just killing me.”
“It’s okay.” Sam stayed perched on the edge of the bed. “Can I get you anything?”
“No, thanks. I just need to stay here in the dark for a while.” Blaine suddenly ached to rest his head on Sam, and reached out to him. “Come closer.”
Sam lay down next to Blaine and put his arm around him, letting Blaine nestle his head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry you’re hurting,” Sam whispered. He slid his hand into Blaine’s curls and rested his fingers on the back of his neck. Sam gently began to move his fingers in small, firm circles, digging into his sore muscles just enough.
Blaine tensed at first, but then began to relax into Sam’s touch. “That actually feels really good,” he said softly, his lips brushing Sam’s skin where they rested against his collarbone.
“Stacey used to get bad headaches, even as a little kid,” Sam explained. He pressed harder. “Is this better or worse?”
“Better,” Blaine sighed. He shifted so that Sam could use his other arm, too, and soon both of Sam hands were massaging his neck. Blaine didn’t know how much time went by, but the pounding in his head seemed to retreat just enough for him to breath properly without feeling like he was going to be sick.
“It sometimes helps here too,” Sam said, moving his fingers to Blaine’s temples. “Is this one of those headaches where it feels like it’s right behind your eyes?”
“Mmm, yes, exactly. That feels awesome, Sam.” Sam massaged and pressed around Blaine’s eyes, gently across his forehead, and back again to his temples.
After a while Sam paused and Blaine snuggled back into his side, far more relaxed than before. “Thank you, I really do feel better. You’re a miracle worker.”
“Hardly,” Sam huffed. “But I’m glad it helped.” He paused, then asked “Do you get headaches like this a lot? You never told me.”
“No, I’ve never gotten one like this. Maybe not never, but this one seems particularly evil.”
“You’ve been studying too hard.”
“That can’t be it. I’ve always studied hard.”
“But now you’re always staring at sheet music on your ipad, which is way too bright, and scribbling tiny little notes on staff paper all night. That can’t be good for your eyes.” Sam gently ran a hand up and down Blaine’s back. “Maybe you need glasses.”
“No, it’s no different than before.” Blaine curled up tighter against Sam, and took a slow breath in before saying what he had been thinking about for the past few hours. “What if something’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?” Sam’s hands stilled on Blaine’s back.
“I don’t know, what if I’m sick? What if I have a brain tumor or something?”
“Blaine, you don’t have a tumor. Why would you get cancer?” Blaine could tell Sam was trying to sound reassuring, but it didn’t help.
“People get cancer all the time, there doesn’t have to be a reason. Even little kids get cancer. All of a sudden people get cancer and die. A brain tumor could be making me feel like this.” Blaine’s voice sounded funny in his own ears, like it was coming from across the room.
“Blaine, open your eyes and look at me.” Sam stroked Blaine’s face gently. “You’re working yourself up. You don’t have cancer.”
Blaine took a few deep breaths and opened his eyes. Through the dim light of the room, he could just make out Sam’s concerned face. “I know it’s unlikely, but is it crazy that I’m kind of scared right now?”
Sam hugged him tightly to his chest and rocked him back and forth a little bit. “It’s not crazy, babe, don’t be scared. You’re okay.”
Blaine let Sam hug him for a while and then pulled back and looked at him, biting his lip. “I had an aunt that died of a brain tumor.”
“Man, I’m sorry.”
“I was pretty young, I didn’t know her that well. She lived in New York, and only visited once in a while. By the time they found out that she had cancer, it was too late to do anything. A few weeks later she and my uncle went on a trip to Bermuda, or the Bahamas or something. She loved to dance, so they went dancing a few times. Then on the plane back, she died.”
“Wow, that’s…” Sam couldn’t finish his thought.
“Yeah. Everyone said it was great that they got to have that time together, doing exactly what she loved to do, before she died. But I just kept thinking about what it must have been like for my uncle, sitting on the plane next to my dead aunt, until they got back to New York.”
“That’s a lot for a little kid to think about.”
“Yup. For years after that, I was scared to go on airplanes. It just kind of freaked me out.”
“I can totally see that.”
The boys were quiet for a few minutes, Sam’s hand returning to making lazy strokes on Blaine’s back.
“It doesn’t always turn out that way, you know,” Sam said.
“What do you mean?”
“Lots of times people with cancer recover. Burt did.”
“I know that, rationally. And I know this is almost certainly just a headache. But it hurt so much, it just made me worried. I mean, what if…” Blaine sniffed. “Something bad is going to happen eventually, right? To one of us, or our parents, or…”
“If it does, we’ll deal with it,” Sam said, tightening his hold on Blaine. “Like everyone has to. We’ll call up Santana and her super awesome doctor dad will find us the best doctor in New York City – man, we’re in New York City, we’ve got the best doctors in the world all around us, right? And if you ever have cancer, which you totally will not ever have, then you’ll take all the awful medicine and xrays, and we’ll get our heads shaved, and we’ll deal with it, and beat it, and everything will be okay.”
Blaine looked up and ran his fingers through Sam’s shaggy blond hair. “You’d shave your head for me?”
“You bet your ass. I’d look hot with a shaved head.” Sam smirked at Blaine, which Blaine always thought just looked like Sam trying to smile sideways. “Maybe I’ll do it now just to try it out.”
“You will not!” Blaine insisted, then grimaced in pain. “Oh, too loud. I’m an idiot.”
Sam giggled softly. “When’s the last time you took some Advil or something? Maybe you can take some more now?”
Blaine opened his eyes and looked up at Sam through his long lashes. “Um, I didn’t take any?”
“What?”
“I meant to, but my head hurt so much I couldn’t think right. I just wanted it to be dark. And then I guess I forgot.”
Sam started laughing in earnest then, and nearly choked himself trying to stay quiet. “You’re unbelievable.” He untangled himself from Blaine and slid off the bed. “I’ll be right back.”
Sam returned with the medicine and a glass of water, and he sat with Blaine until he drank it all, then lay back down and pulled Blaine close. “You should get some rest now. Close your eyes.”
“Mmm, sounds good.” Blaine snuggled close to Sam, enjoying the feel of Sam’s warm hand on his back.
Blaine woke up a few hours later, curled up around a pillow. He smiled, thinking that Sam must have slid the pillow into his arms when Sam got out of bed. The memory of that afternoon rolled over him, making him feel all squiggly and warm. Sam had been so kind, and gentle, and his fingers were in fact miraculous. Not that Blaine didn’t expect Sam to be kind, but the way Sam cared for him just touched him in a way that he really couldn’t explain.
Blaine rolled over and checked the clock – it was only 7:30, obviously way too early to go to sleep for the night. He realized gratefully that his head wasn’t throbbing anymore, and he could easily keep his eyes open. Blaine pulled a sweatshirt on over his tee and headed out to the living room.
“Feeling better?” Sam sat on the couch, his laptop open in front of him on the coffee table.
“Yeah, so much better.” Blaine sat down next to Sam and tucked his cold feet up underneath him. “What are you doing?”
“Here, look.” Sam turned the laptop towards Blaine. “I made you an appointment for tomorrow afternoon, I think you can fit it in between classes and rehearsal. They’re just around the corner, and they take your insurance.”
Blaine looked at the website Sam was showing him. “You made me an eye doctor appointment?”
“Yeah, man, you totally need glasses. Or at least to get checked out. You don’t see how hard you’re working, but I do. And it’s got to be straining your eyes.”
“I can’t believe you made me an appointment.” Blaine wasn’t sure whether to be mad or really, really thankful. “Wait, how do you know what health insurance I have?”
“Oh, I’ve known that for ages. Unless – did it change?”
“Sam, what are you talking about?” Blaine saw Sam glance down at his phone, and Blaine plucked it out of his hand. It was open to a page of notes titled “Important Info – Blaine.” “Why do you have this?”
Sam rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Blame Santana, okay?”
“Santana?”
“Apparently she was with you and Kurt in the emergency room, after the slushie thing?”
Blaine tensed, remembering how helpless he felt that day, and how much it hurt. Sam reached over and took his hand. “Yeah, she was there. She was bossing everyone around, while Kurt just kept me from clawing my eyes out.”
“Anyway, apparently they were giving her a hard time because none of you knew your health insurance information, or other personal stuff. Santana talked to her dad about it later, and they really shouldn’t have acted that way, given that it was an emergency. But Santana started keeping track of Brittany’s information, just in case. Brittany had Santana’s too – she showed me, when we were dating. So I did one for you.”
“Sam,” Blaine breathed out softly, and climbed into Sam’s lap, wrapping his arms around him. “I can’t believe you did that for me. You are the most awesome boyfriend in the world.” Blaine kissed Sam gently, and sank back into his arms. “But wait, I don’t even have my insurance card in my wallet right now – I lost it a few weeks ago, and my parents are supposed to send me a new one. How did you get the number?”
Sam blushed and didn’t reply. Blaine picked up Sam’s phone again and looked at the list. “My locker combination is on this list. From high school.”
“Um, yeah, remember that time after Grease when you couldn’t make the lock work? We went to the office to get the number?”
“Sam, you made this list senior year?” Blaine tried to catch Sam’s eyes, but he was looking away. He seemed nervous. “Sam, it’s okay, just tell me.”
“You were so sad then. Really, scary sad. Not that I thought you’d do anything, but… you didn’t have anyone to look out for you, and if some crazy thing happened, someone needed to be ready.” Sam finally looked up at Blaine. “I was worried. You’re not mad, are you?”
“No, I’m not mad.” Blaine’s eyes were damp and he took a deep breath, trying not to cry. “Thank you for looking out for me. I’m so lucky you’re my friend, Sam.”
“Well, I put all my stuff on your phone too, so you’re stuck looking out for me too.” Sam held his hand out for Blaine’s phone, and showed him a notes pages titled “Important Stuff- Sam.” “Guess you didn’t notice it?”
“No, I hardly ever use the notes. But I’m glad it’s there, it’s a really good idea.” Blaine took his phone back, and saw that Sam had included his parents’ phone numbers, his Facebook password, his favorite color, and a bunch of other information. “Are these your measurements? Wow.”
“Just in case. You never know when you might need them.”
Blaine laughed. “Can I have some pictures, too?”
“Mmm, all you want, baby.” Sam pulled Blaine in for a kiss. Blaine responded, and they sank into it, enjoying each other.
“You know, my head really is feeling better,” Blaine said, his voice low.
“I don’t know, you were in pretty bad shape before,” Sam murmured against Blaine’s ear. “I think you should go to bed early.”
“Come with me? I still might need you to take care of me.”
“Always.”