Chapter Text
He made a mistake, asking Katsudon.
"You're so young," he smiled, and "It will come in time."
Yuri was no stranger to hard work and practice, but he was a world champion now, a Grand Prix gold medalist. That had to count for something. It should mean that he was an adult, with an adult's control of his feelings. So why couldn't he capture and channel the Agape feeling again, the way he'd been able to in Japan, if just for a few moments?
He needed that expression. His skating had been beautiful with it; he'd seen it on the stealthily recorded video one of those insufferable kids had thrust on him after the practice, but then he had never been able to perform it again with that emotion shining through him. It had all been cold reflections of that original, elusive core. He didn't even have the stupid video to look at and analyze.
"Never mind," Yuri said. "I don't need it."
Katsudon hemmed and hawed while staring behind his stupid glasses. Yuri looked at his phone instead, turning away. He had 54 new likes on his most recent picture of a beautiful cat he'd seen a few times on the stone fence by the neighboring apartment building. It hadn't let him pet it yet, but it might if he kept trying. He had a pinprick of red on his hand from his latest attempt.
"If… if it's something you want," Katsudon said quietly, "we're all here now, at the same rink. We have a little time. Victor can coach you again."
Yuri turned back around. "I don't need his help, or yours. You're old. Why haven't you retired yet?"
"We could do it together. You could give me pointers on my quads. You like that." Katsudon was smiling, ignoring Yuri's words.
"Only because you're so bad at them," Yuri said. For some reason, he felt very uncomfortable. He'd rather get back to practice or take a nap. One of those. He put his phone back in the pocket of his hoodie and brushed his hair behind his ear. "Why do you want to train together?" he asked.
"No special reason," Katsudon said, still smiling a little. "Maybe I think you'll rub off on me, and I'll have greater chances of winning this year."
Yuri scoffed.
"Or maybe…" Katsudon fiddled with his glasses. "Maybe I think that training together, you and I and Victor, to capture an emotion is a good way to grow closer. To grow together. It could help us all become better."
Yuri felt his lips quirk in a smile at how dorky Katsudon sounded, and quickly pressed them together so it wouldn't look like he approved or anything.
"Fine," he said, mostly to put an end to the conversation. "We can train some together. But I'm not sharing my choreography."
"No one is asking you to share anything you don't want to," Katsudon said.
The uncomfortable feeling was growing. "I need to go stretch," Yuri mumbled. He turned and left, not waiting for any meaningless reply. Walking past the bleachers, he caught himself wondering if Katsudon would shout something after him. He quickly put his headphones on, just in case.