Chapter Text
Negative.
JImin feels the nausea in his stomach but not for the reason he wants it to be. He picks up the other test and stares at the single line, lump forming in his throat.
He’s not pregnant.
His hands fall limply to his sides and disappointment courses through his body.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he mumbles as he hastily throws them in the bin, grabbing some tissues and chucking them in after to conceal the tests, feeling ashamed that he doesn’t want Jungkook to know. The first few occasions it had been alright – Jimin had shrugged his shoulders and said ‘next time’ but it had been months off the pill and he’s starting to feel scared. What if I’m infertile? What if there’s something wrong with one of us? We did a check-up and everything was okay but maybe something changed –
“Jimin?”
Jimin jumps at Jungkook’s voice from the other room. He had probably just come back from work. Washing his hands, Jimin takes a few deep breaths before heading to the main room, heart beating and anxious as if Jungkook would be able to tell the second he saw him. His omega wolf, on the other hand, was wishing for his mate’s touch and comfort, feeling extremely vulnerable.
“Hey, we got an invite to some benefit,” Jungkook says absentmindedly as he sifts through the mail, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his cuffs. “Oh, and my mom was wondering if you wanted to go to a dance recital with her.”
Jimin smiles weakly and glances down, eyes running across his flat stomach. His chest tightens.
“Taehyung called and said he’s coming over later today to pick up his stuff he forgot yesterday and…” Jungkook trails off as he notices Jimin’s silence. “Baby, is something the matter?”
Jimin blinks up at him and tries to play it off with a breathy chuckle. “Nothing – I just have a lot on my mind.”
Jungkook looks unconvinced. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Jimin shakes his head. “It’ll be fine, really.” He walks to Jungkook and moves into his embrace, eyes closing at his warmth and feelings eased by his alpha’s presence. Jungkook’s crisp, clean scent relaxes his tense muscles and fills the hollowness in his chest, wanting to curl up against his side and whine for attention – maybe during heat he might, never would Jimin do that when he was coherent. Nevertheless, Jimin smiles to comfort his worried alpha. “I feel better already.”
“Okay,” Jungkook rubs his back and tilts Jimin’s chin up to kiss him. He gave a playful smile to try lift Jimin’s mood. “I bet you were just missing me.”
“Yeah, that definitely wasn’t it,” Jimin rolls his eyes and Jungkook laughs.
He moves away to look through the rest of the mail and Jimin opens his laptop on the counter, remembering he needed to reply to an email from a dance company. He knows he should just open about his concerns. Jungkook has never pressured him about having a child – they’d only agreed at the beginning of the year that it was a stable time for them to begin their own family. Jimin had accomplished so much with his dancing and was willing to settle down for a little while, looking to start his own dancing school with Hoseok in the future, whilst Jungkook worked almost side by side with his father in managing the company and was very comfortable with his role. Of course, one day he would take over as CEO but he still had much to learn and his father wasn’t ready to retire just yet.
But what Jungkook may not completely understand is just how badly Jimin wants to be a parent, just how much he wants to carry their child and bring him into the world. He had been wanting to start trying for almost half a year before either of them suggested it but knew Jungkook was busy with the company. When he finally brought it up and Jungkook agreed, he wanted to cry with happiness and enthusiasm.
He just never expected it to be this difficult.
He knows it’s perfectly safe to tell Jungkook, he’d feel so much better if he told Jungkook, but Jimin is stubborn, and his omega side is terrified. It’s a built-in belief, a primal instinct – infertile omegas are useless and disposable.
“Aren’t you a cutie?” Jimin swings the pup into his arms and smiles at the young toddler who giggles and clings to his shoulder. Taehyung coos and strokes her thin amount of hair gently.
Seokjin is waving his arms frantically and trying to tell Jungkook to stop being so rough with his handling of his fragile box of figurines. “They’re expensive and if you break even one of them –”
“Hyung, will you just relax? I’ve got it.” Jungkook sighs exasperatedly as he hauls the box up onto another and lifts them both up.
Namjoon was away in America working on a song for an artist overseas; it collided badly with when they were scheduled to move into their new house, realising they wanted a proper backyard for their daughter to play in, especially now since Seokjin was expecting another. Hence why they were all at their new house, helping to set up.
Yoongi and Hoseok were constructing new furniture in a room upstairs whilst Jimin and Taehyung were supposed to be unpacking boxes but got distracted by Seokjin and Namjoon’s nine month old daughter, Serin.
Seokjin huffs at the overconfident alpha. “I know you’ve got them but it’s how you got them that scares me.”
“Aw, chill.”
“I can’t ‘chill’ when you’re manhandling – don’t pick up three boxes at once – yes, you will drop one!” Seokjin sputters as he hovers around Jungkook who starts for the stairs. He turns to Jimin. “Can you please tell your mate to listen to me?”
Jimin laughs as he hands Serin over to Taehyung who immediately cuddles her to his chest. “Baby, could you please stop showing off your strength?”
“But you like it,” Jungkook winks.
“But I also don’t want hyung to kill me,” Jimin laughs and takes a box from Jungkook, “and I also don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
Jungkook smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners and leans down to kiss Jimin on the forehead, careful not to tip over the boxes he was holding.
“Alright lovebirds, hurry up and take them upstairs.” Seokjin shakes his head like he can’t believe how over affectionate the two still were. It was sweet to see, but he also wanted his precious figurines safe and away from Jungkook.
Once all the boxes had been taken to the proper rooms, Seokjin said they could all relax and take a break. Jungkook sprawled out on the carpet (one of the few things that had been unpacked and spread out), yawning tiredly into his hand. Jimin brought the others a glass of water.
“Thanks for helping me.” Seokjin says gratefully as he takes a sip. He rubs his swollen stomach and Jimin feels a pang of envy and emptiness, which is accompanied by bitterness and anger because how come Seokjin is pregnant with his second child when I can’t even have one – He clenches his jaw and shuts the thought off as remorse cripples his heart for thinking so awfully.
I’m such a terrible friend.
“Anything for you, hyung.” Jimin smiles because he’s happy for his friend, he really is, and he hates that happiness can’t be the only thing he feels when he sees their growing family.
Jimin has one last glass in his hand and is bringing it to Jungkook when he stops, gazing down at the sight before him.
Serin was crawling over Jungkook, rolling across his torso and giggling happily. Jungkook had his hands hovering either side of her, ready to catch her if she fell off him towards the carpet. Jungkook liked kids but had told Jimin he wasn’t good with them like Taehyung was – he was awkward with them - but seeing the alpha grinning gently at the baby made Jimin melt at the sight. Jungkook was often seen as the baby of the pack, seeing him so fatherly was a strange shift in dynamic, but it was a good one.
Finally, Serin crawled up towards his chest and laid down, promptly falling asleep and Jungkook rested a hand to keep her secure and ensure she wouldn’t accidently roll off in her sleep. She was so small his palm almost spanned across her back. Jimin’s omega whined with affection.
“So cute.” Seokjin gasps and bustles to a box. “Stay like that – I want a picture! This is too precious.”
Jimin drops down beside Jungkook who flashes him a wide smile.
“She likes you.” Jimin whispers not to wake her and Jungkook’s expression lighted up further.
Yoongi was sitting next to Taehyung, running his hands up and down his sides. “Probably because Jungkook is an alpha and she’s missing her dad. His presence is calming for her – he’s the only other alpha in the pack after all.”
Jimin wonders what it would be like if they had their own pup, falling asleep on Jungkook and Jimin could take a photo like Seokjin was now. He thinks about how Jungkook would be such a good father.
“We’re looking to adopt,” Taehyung says suddenly and all heads whirl to him. He’s practically glowing with how happy he was. As a male beta couple, they couldn’t have their own kids but Yoongi and Taehyung were both happy to adopt and foster children to give them a better life. “We’ve been talking to lots of places and looking into orphanages and – I’m so excited!”
Yoongi chuckles and kisses his temple and Hoseok is overjoyed at the news. He had found his mate – a female beta – last year and they were going steadily and in no rush to start a family.
Jimin rushes over and hugs them both. “I’m so happy for you! I can’t wait!”
Taehyung laughs and Yoongi tries to play it off but there’s glee in his eyes too. Jimin buries his face in his best friend’s sweater and ignores the ache of jealousy in his chest as best as he can.
Jimin crinkles his nose at the harsh smell of the clinic and taps his foot on the ground, trying to keep calm.
Maybe it’s just a vitamin or mineral deficiency, or hormone imbalance, or maybe I just need some supplements, or maybe -
The doctor walks back in and Jimin sits up on the chair, eyes wide and almost trembling on the seat, mouth dry.
“Jimin-ssi, sorry for the wait.” She gives him a warm smile as she sits down at her computer and opens up a file.
“That’s fine.” Jimin clutches his hands together, nails digging into his palms and heart beating fast.
“You seem perfectly fine,” she says as her eyes scan the screen, printing out a paper copy of the results, “there isn’t anything abnormal with your results. In fact, you’re very healthy.”
“Oh.” Jimin breathes and he’s relieved and disappointed at the same time. Relieved that everything is okay, disappointed because now he’s back to square one.
The doctor notices his dismay and sits down beside him. “It is harder for some people to get pregnant than others. I wrote down some supplements that may help but whether they work or not is really up to debate. Otherwise, there are other methods such as IVF, for example.”
“Okay.” Jimin nods as he receives a copy of his results, feeling lost as he looks at the writing like there was a mistake concealed in there somewhere, hidden among the black printed ink. There are alternatives, he tells himself, this is by no means make or break.
“Is your mate here?” the doctor asks and when Jimin shakes his head she looks a bit surprised but doesn’t voice it. “Would you like me to ask our receptionist to call him for you? You look a bit shaken up.”
“No, no I’m alright.” Jimin assures her and stands up hastily. “Thank you.”
“Has your mate had a check-up done, by the way?” she asks.
Jimin nods again. “He had one done at the beginning of the year when… when we began trying.” The truth is that Jimin had a check-up done too and his results had been fine then as well.
“Have you gone through heats and ruts since you started trying?” she questions.
Chances of pregnancy were higher during that time, as their bodies were the most fertile. “Yes.”
“Alright, well, drive safe.” The doctor smiles comfortingly and Jimin bows before leaving.
He gets in the car and sighs heavily. He tries to ignore all the negative, bitter thoughts that pop into his head like what if Jungkook wants a different mate? What if he hates me? What if throws me away?
It’s stupid – Jimin knows Jungkook would never even consider those options – he trusts him completely. But knowing doesn’t seem to be enough, because it’s not about what Jungkook will think. It’s about what Jimin thinks about this -
He feels helpless.
What is wrong with my body?
“Oh fuck,” Jungkook groans into the crook of Jimin’s neck and his teeth latch onto the claiming mark in the skin, causing Jimin’s body to practically liquefy beneath him as Jungkook shudders and releases inside him.
Jimin closes his eyes at the feeling, biting his lip and whimpering with pleasure as Jungkook peppers kisses across his neck. His cheeks are flushed and body sweaty as Jungkook rolls off the bed to grab a damp washcloth from the bathroom, Jimin hates how empty he feels when Jungkook pulls out and wishes for his knot – unfortunately they only occurred during heats or ruts. Jungkook comes back a few seconds later and moves the towel across Jimin’s abdomen and chest before bringing it down to his thighs, smirking.
“Stop staring.” Jimin laughs as Jungkook licks his lips.
“Hm? Why?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow and cleans his inner thighs and then his cock. At the touch, Jimin shivers and whines at the sensitivity. Jungkook leans down and kisses along his hipbone. “I love it when you look like this.”
“Like what?”
“All tired and fucked out,” Jungkook sucked a quick bruise under Jimin’s collarbone before cleaning himself up and chucking the towel somewhere on their bathroom floor. He lies down beside Jimin and brings the omega close to his side. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Jimin replies and shifts onto his side, feeling something slide down his thigh and he shudders, not sure if he likes it or not. “I’m – it’s – you came so much.”
Jungkook smirks, catching on straight away and a hand slides down Jimin’s back and squeezes his ass, causing the omega to try bat his arm away and more cum to slide out. “That’s because you’ve been too sore to have sex for like, a week. All this tension had been building up.”
“That’s because your rut went on for ages,” Jimin quips back. His body had been spent after days of fucking – Jungkook’s amazing stamina was amplified during rut and Jimin found himself slipping in and out of consciousness in between. Luckily, Jungkook was still his sweet alpha and restrained himself whenever it became too much.
“It’s usually not that long, I wonder why.” Jungkook mumbles but he doesn’t sound concerned.
Jimin’s body goes cold at the thought. Heats and ruts became longer and more intense the more a mated alpha and omega didn’t have pups. Jimin’s last heat had worn him out entirely, he had been more desperate and submissive than ever, wanting so badly to fall pregnant and severely disappointed when he didn’t.
Is it just going to get progressively worse from here?
Jungkook falls asleep a few minutes later but Jimin is wide awake. He squeezes his eyes shut and hopes that this time he’s successful.
Jimin takes the test a few days later, palms clammy and sweat breaking out across his forehead. Praying for two lines as he turns the test over on the sink.
Just two simple lines. Jimin deflates.
He throws the test away and groans in frustration, feels his heart break a little more.
His omega wolf is curled in shame.
I’m no good.
Jimin is excited as he collects his water bottle from the corner of the practise room and shoves it into his bag.
“In a rush, today?” Hoseok asks as he also does the same.
“My parents are visiting today! We’re having a family dinner with Jungkook’s parents so I want to get back quickly,” Jimin explains and Hoseok grins.
“Oh, tell them I say hi,” Hoseok says.
Jimin nods. “Of course.”
“By the way, were you planning on doing the dance tour this year?” Hoseok furrows his eyebrows, “you haven’t confirmed it yet and the rest of the team is wondering.”
“Uh…” Jimin swallows and grabs his bag, hoping to buy some time with the motion. It does, but he still has to answer the question. “I’m not sure.” Honestly, he had thought he would be pregnant by now. He doesn’t know if saying yes is a good idea in case he gets pregnant but… what if he doesn’t and he passes up an amazing opportunity? God, I just don’t know what to do.
“Do you have something else planned?” Hoseok tilts his head.
“No, but, um… it’s complicated,” Jimin stammers and takes a deep breath, regret forming in his stomach. “Probably not. Put me down as a no.” Because just in case.
“Okay, it’s up to you, but, is everything okay?” Hoseok asks and he looks incredibly worried. Jimin hopes he doesn’t go to Jungkook about it – his alpha would get so upset knowing Jimin was struggling so much.
Jungkook should hear it from Jimin first at the very least.
“Yeah, I have to go, see you,” Jimin waves and quickly turns away, knowing Hoseok is staring after him, confused with his bizarre behaviour.
“I missed you.” Jimin wraps his arms around his dad who returns the hug eagerly. From beside them, Jungkook was greeting Jimin’s mom warmly. “Did you have a good trip here?”
His dad smiled. “It was great, stopped for lunch on the way. How have you been?”
“Good, as usual.”
“He takes good care of you, doesn’t he?”
“We take care of each other.” Jimin chuckles but then nods as he looks at his alpha who was slightly dusted in flour with a small smear of chilli sauce on his cheekbone. Jimin doesn’t understand how Jungkook always looks so endearing. “But yes, he does.”
“Oh, it’s so nice to see you again…” he hears his mom saying to Jungkook as he leads them to his own parents who are setting up dinner at the table.
Jimin is always incredibly happy their parents got along so well – it had been a little awkward at first when they first met but they quickly found similarities and were able to talk comfortably.
“I didn’t burn anything,” Jungkook states proudly as he places his hands on Jimin’s shoulders, massaging the sore muscles from dancing.
“Such a good boy,” Jimin laughs. Jungkook was a good cook – he was good at everything – but he tended to get distracted by rather mundane things and on several occasions ended up sheepishly scraping burnt remnants of some dish off the bottom of the pan.
Jungkook leans in to whisper in his ear. “Do I get a reward?”
“Later,” Jimin only slightly reddens from the teasing, wiping away the chilli sauce on Jungkook’s cheek to distract himself from his smouldering gaze, but his composure suddenly changes when Jungkook’s father walks swiftly past with a strange expression.
“I’m going to pretend I never heard that,” he mutters and Jimin shrinks in embarrassment, face flaring and sweat forming.
Jungkook grimaced in embarrassment. “Sorry, dad.”
They eat dinner shortly after, Jimin’s parents complimenting Jungkook on his culinary skills which made the alpha beam with pride and Jimin wished his mom would stop boosting his ego. Then, Jungkook’s mom began talking about the importance of redefining the roles of alphas and omegas within society and how changes still needed to be made, and then somehow the fathers began talking about golfing. Jimin was content just listening to their conversations and laughing at their humour, he wasn’t a big talker at times like these and neither was his mate.
“How’s Taehyung and Seokjin?” Jimin’s mother asks and Jimin clears his throat.
“They’re really good – Seokjin’s just moved into a new place and his second baby is almost due. Hoseok and his mate are totally in love,” Jimin begins and glances at Jungkook, wondering if he wants to continue.
Jungkook grins. “Taehyung and Yoongi are thinking of adopting soon.”
The parents gasp and talk for a few minutes at how lovely the couples were – for some reason they all had a soft spot for Yoongi – before they look at Jimin and Jungkook curiously.
“What about you two? Are you thinking of having children?” Jungkook’s mother sounds so, so excited and happy Jimin swears something is stabbing him in the chest with sadness.
Jimin’s mouth is dry and unmoving – he doesn’t know how to respond and he’s quite sure his body has gone rigid.
Luckily, Jungkook answers for him. “We’ve talked about it, and we’re not in a rush but we’re open to the idea.”
“Oh my! So are you trying? I can’t believe this, honey, we’re going to be grandparents!” Jungkook’s mother is over the moon and his father is trying to keep his usual taciturn expression but it’s slipping.
Jimin’s parents are thrilled too, but Jimin catches his mother’s eye and he knows that she can tell something is wrong. He tries to smile, hopes she won’t worry about him.
Jungkook kisses the back of Jimin’s hand. “Yeah, we’re trying.”
Jimin silently takes a sharp intake of breath, something in his stomach twisting. He doesn’t know why Jungkook saying it out loud triggers something in him. It suddenly sounds so real, telling other people makes it seem like there are expectations now.
The food suddenly tastes like cardboard in his mouth and his ears are ringing as he’s lost in his thoughts, trying to figure out what he should do. His omega wolf makes a soft sound of distress, craving his alpha, urging him to confide in Jungkook because he always knows what to say, always knows how to make Jimin feel better.
A few more months, then I’ll tell Jungkook, Jimin decides – Jungkook is so busy right now, after all, he doesn’t need anything more to think about.
“I can’t imagine Jungkook being a father,” his mother admits much to Jungkook’s chagrin, brushing off his protests. “He still reminds me of an overgrown baby sometimes. The other day he came to see my lecture and spilt coffee all over himself.”
Jimin’s heart squeezes as he gazes towards Jungkook who is glaring, but with no real anger, at his mother and asking the others to help protect his pride. Jimin leans across and kisses Jungkook’s clothed shoulder, resting his chin against him. He loves him so much. He wants to give Jungkook everything he possibly can.
“Jungkook would be a lovely father,” he says quietly but he knows they can all hear. He thinks someone coos quietly at them. Jungkook gives him a crooked smile, palm warm on his back.
The loveliest.
The air is muggy and warm and Jimin has to shift away from Jungkook because his alpha has so much body heat and Jimin is starting to get uncomfortable. He kicks the blankets off his knees and closes his eyes, trying to coax sleep.
“I know something is troubling you, sweetie,” Jimin’s mom says gently as she strokes his hair. “You know you can tell me anything.”
“I know,” Jimin replies as he sits on the couch with her, Jungkook still in the kitchen with his parents. “It’ll be fine.” He leans in closer to his mother and her familiar cinnamon scent eases him, fills him with nostalgia.
She clicks her tongue and sighs. “You’ve always been so secretive about your worries. It’s not about having an alpha child, is it?”
“What?” Jimin pulls back, surprised. He hadn’t even thought about that – powerful alpha families wanted alpha children. There were stories that betas and omegas were often left out of their parent’s favour once an alpha was in the picture. Jimin had been so wrapped up in having a pup he hadn’t even considered – hadn’t let himself even wonder about what they’d present as.
“Because Jungkook seems like he wouldn’t mind. He’d adore all of them.” His mother smiles and Jimin knows that’s true. Of course it’s true, it’s Jungkook – his mate is the sweetest.
“That’s not it, mom,” Jimin whispers and he felt like telling her but he hesitated. “I… It’s just I have to tell Jungkook first.”
“Okay,” she pulled him into her side, “but do tell him Jimin.”
Jimin sits up and quietly slips off the bed, padding to the bathroom and opening the bottom drawer slowly, hoping Jungkook wouldn’t wake up. He had bought a whole bunch of tests a few months ago and now he only had three left. With nervous hands, he opened all of them up, taking the time to read the instructions even when he knows the process all too well.
He does what he has to before washing his hands and sitting on the edge of the bathtub, tests on the sink. His knee is shaking up and down and his heart is pounding fast and hard, breaths coming out in quick, short gasps.
Please. Please, please, please.
It’s been a little over a week since their parents had visited and Jimin was feeling the pressure more than ever. It’s stupid and silly, he shouldn’t be so anxious by them knowing, but he is. He’s dreading the day they call and ask how he’s going, hearing their voice when Jimin has to tell them he’s not pregnant yet.
Maybe it would be easier if there was a clear reason why Jimin couldn’t fall pregnant, but so far there wasn’t and that meant he had hope. His hope was tearing him apart. Jungkook didn’t ask him to take tests which Jimin was grateful for, trusting Jimin would tell him when he found out.
But Jimin doesn’t have anything to tell him.
Please.
Jimin looks at his phone and stands up uneasily, taking small steps to the sink and biting his lip. He had put the tests face down and his nerves were trying to get the better of him.
Please.
Clenching his jaw, he picked one up and glanced at it.
Then the next.
And the next.
Jimin puts the tests down and dissolves into tears.
Jungkook finds Jimin crouched on the floor, face in his hands and ugly, racking sobs echoing around the room. Jimin didn’t know it could hurt this much, didn’t realise how awful it could be. He’s proud of being an omega and what he’s achieved, but right now he feels so insignificant and worthless. He feels like a failure of a mate.
And he can’t stop the ideas racing through his head, as ridiculous as he knows they are.
Jungkook is going to leave me.
I’m useless, a waste of an omega.
He’s going to throw me out and destroy our bond.
He’s -
“J-Jimin, what happened?” His alpha’s concerned voice makes him feel worse. Jimin almost wants to recoil. No, no, no, he can’t know.
But he can’t stop crying.
Arms wrap around his hunched frame and he can sense the confusion and worry coming from his mate. His face is still creased with sleep and his voice is low and raspy, but he’s awake and alert as he holds Jimin.
He doesn’t deserve Jungkook.
Jungkook’s lips rubs across Jimin’s neck, pressing his cheek and nosing across the slope and soon enough his deep, rich scent with a delicate sugary undertone wraps around him - Jungkook is scenting him. The effect is instantaneous. Jimin feels something soothing wash over him and his cries quiet down and his breathing begins to even out. He reaches for Jungkook and his fingers curl around his bare biceps, pulling him closer. His omega wolf preens with happiness.
“I-I… I’m sorry.” Jimin sniffles as Jungkook brings him to his chest, sitting on the floor and letting Jimin lean against him, body still trembling.
“For what?” Jungkook sounds puzzled as he moves strands of Jimin’s hair from his eyes. His gaze is scorching and Jimin knows that Jungkook won’t rest until he gives him a reason – usually he’s incredibly patient and lets Jimin fight his own battles, trusting he’ll be told when Jimin feels comfortable to, but certainly not this time. His alpha wants an answer now.
Jimin reaches up to a test on the sink and hands it to Jungkook wordlessly, unnecessary shame pooling in his stomach. He knows it’s unwarranted, he hates how he still feels it.
Jungkook is quiet for a few seconds as he stares at the thin object and then kisses Jimin’s hair. “Um… I don’t know what this means. Is this a pregnancy test?”
“I’m not pregnant.” Jimin quickly whispers in case Jungkook misunderstands and gets false excitement.
I should be by now… I should be.
“Oh, okay… baby, I –” Jungkook angles his head to look at Jimin who shies away, more tears streaming down his face, “don’t cry, please, I hate it when you cry.”
“It’s been months, Jungkook,” Jimin strains out and rubs his eyes. “Aren’t y-you worried? Don’t you want a child? There’s something wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you.” Jungkook says firmly and leans in to kiss him.
Jimin flinches and pulls away, hurt flashing across Jungkook’s face. He just doesn’t seem to get it. “Seriously, I can’t – I’m not – what if I can never have kids? What if – if –” The reality hurts. It’s like a punch in the gut and Jimin is quite sure he sounds hysterical. “What if we can’t have children?”
His omega side is panicking, the fear of rejection rising and not wanting to disappoint his alpha.
Jungkook’s eyes soften. “Is this what’s been bothering you all this time?”
Jimin blinks. Jungkook says it so calmly.
“Listen,” Jungkook reaches for his hand and tugs him closer, dark eyes shining with fondness and sincerity. “I love you, okay? I mean it. Whatever happens I’m going to be right here.” He relaxes as Jimin buries his face into the crook of his neck, starting to sob again but significantly less harsh than before. “It’ll be okay. We can go see the doctors tomorrow and discuss this.”
“I-I already did.” Jimin clutches his shoulder. “I went and saw someone again – they said I’m fine.”
Jungkook leans back to kiss Jimin on the lips slow and lovingly, leaving his taste on his tongue. “Okay, then do you want to try talking about IVF or something?”
Jimin hiccups before nodding slowly. “Y-yes.” He had done research on other options available to them, biting his lip as he read information from various websites and trying to not be discouraged by low rates of success. “The procedure is expensive though, Kook.”
“Do you forget who your mate is?” Jungkook chuckles much to Jimin’s astonishment.
“But this is my problem –”
“Don’t say that baby, this is about the both of us. It’s not your fault.” Jungkook stands up slowly and brings Jimin with him. “Try get some sleep. We’ll talk about it more tomorrow.”
Jimin takes a few wobbly steps, leaning into Jungkook’s muscled body before feeling the dread and anxiety manifest itself again. “And what if nothing works?”
“Then nothing works.”
He replies so quickly that Jimin wants to whine in annoyance and confusion. New concern creeps up on him that maybe, just maybe Jungkook doesn’t want to have kids as much as he does. Maybe the idea of being a parent isn’t such a big deal to him. The thought hurts Jimin. “D-Don’t you want to be a father too?”
Jungkook frowns as Jimin’s tone becomes weaker, scared to hear his answer. He stroked Jimin’s cheek with his thumb, ridding a few leftover tears. “Of course I do. What makes you think I don’t?”
“You d-don’t seem worried – you never ask if I’m pregnant – you sound so casual about this I –”
“Shh.” Jungkook gathers Jimin in his arms and his omega wolf is so weak for Jungkook it’s almost embarrassing. “Having a baby doesn’t make us a parent, caring for a child and raising them does. We can adopt if you can’t have children – I’d rather do that than see you so upset and make you go through lots of procedures and tests. But you’re more than enough already Jimin.”
How did I find someone like you?
Jimin is so in love, so unbelievably lucky to have a such a warm-hearted alpha. He clutches onto Jungkook’s shirt and tilts his neck, Jungkook catches on and swiftly bites down into the mark. It’s not as deep as the mating mark, but it sends tingles up Jimin’s spine – he wants Jungkook to know just how happy he was to be his mate. Jungkook pulls back a few seconds later and kisses the area, purring in his chest with satisfaction.
Jimin cups the back of Jungkook’s head to kiss him, deeper this time. “I love you to bits, you know.”
“’Course I know,” Jungkook replies in classic Jeon Jungkook fashion. “Now come to bed, I can’t sleep well without you.”