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The day had been relatively long, Cullen had seen Amaliana off earlier that morning. She would be on her way to Crestwood and would be there for sometime to help the people there. He barked at his troops, had a good lunch for once at the tavern and had managed to avoid everyone throughout the day. Now he sat at his desk. It was late in the evening and he would need to eat soon. He had written his love and sent the letter off before sunset, but now the daunting task of trying to write the hero of Ferelden. His queen, and hopefully still his friend.
He and the hero had not parted on the most gracious of terms all those years ago. Cullen had written to her only once telling her he wished her luck as queen and may Andraste watch over her and Alistair. Also that he had been reassigned to Kirkwall. He looked forlornly at the parchment. What would I say? What should I say? Would she send it back unread?
All of these questions and then some burned in his mind as he began to stare at the quill in its ink well and back to the parchment. Finally he put his head down almost slamming it down upon his desk.
Clunk
What in Thedas?
He leaned up and braced his hands on the edge in front of him giving the desk a slight nudge.
Clunk
Make preserve me! He groaned once again almost slamming his head in his desk as it gave another clunk. Damnit all Sera!!
“Cullen? Are you in here?” The spy master asked knocking at his door.
“Yes. Come in Leliana” he said taking a deep breath sitting up to watch the spy master enter his office. She nodded and sat down in the chair opposite him.
“Is everything alright? You seem troubled.” She asked lounging in the chair.
“I am fine. Why do you ask?”
“You have been like a love sick puppy since the Herald left this morning. Even more so since we received word from Zalenas.” Leliana explained. “I understand you and she did not part on the...best of terms.”
Cullen watched Leliana carefully and considered his answer. He remembered her and Morrigan from when they had come to help the circle fulfil the warden contracts. She was right their parting was not on the most gracious of terms. “We've both moved on. She has a loving husband and kingdom. And I have moved on as well.” He crossed his arms over his chest plate.
“Write to her commander. Morrigan and I have. You should do it before I put my ravens up for the night.” She said with a smile standing and walking to the door. “It will do you both some good.” With that she exited his office leaving him to his own devices.
Letting out a breathe he didn't realize he had been holding he finally picked up his quill and began to write.
Zalenas, or your highness. Whichever you prefer now.
I know not what to say. I am glad that you had been found safe and not succumbed to the false call of the wardens.
And that I am sorry. All these years I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, and pray you do not hold a grudge.
Yours
Commander Cullen S. Rutherford
He put down his quill and read it over in his head. It would have to do for now. He rolled it up and sealed it. Heading for the rookery he noticed Solas dozing at his own desk, and he thanked the maker that Amaliana had taken Dorian with her. “All set?” Leliana asked with a small smile.
“Yes. Thank you Leliana”
“It is my pleasure. Good night Commander” she said as Cullen turned and made the long lonely walk back to his tower.
-- -- -- -- --
“Get off me you blasted elf!” Nathaniel exclaimed as Velanna tackled him for the last piece of bacon for their breakfast.
“The last piece is mine! I had already claimed it you blasted shem!” She exclaimed back trying to wrestle the piece from him before it risked falling to the ground.
Zalenas stood next to her horse, smiling at her companions watching them bicker. Oghren managed to stay out of the foray as he tried to cure his hangover. She did not see Sigrun this morning and had wandered where she had run off to so early. “My lady” she heard before she had seen Sigrun come up beside her.
“Where did you get off to?” Zalenas asked turning to face her.
“Figured I'd scout ahead since others have other priorities this morning.” Sigrun said motioning to the three around the dying camp fire. Zalenas laughed, eventually she would have to go back to Demerim but for now she took peace with her duties away from the palace.
“A good idea my friend. What news have you then?” Zalenas said snatching the piece of bacon from Nathaniel’s out stretched arm and eating it for herself. Protests from both him and Velanna as their queen and commander sat near the fire with a smile on her face.
“Found an odd looking raven with three letters attached. All for you apparently.” Sigrun said handing Zalenas three rolls of parchment.
“Letters for Alistair no doubt. Most likely the naughty things he'll do to me once we have returned home” Zalenas smiled taking the letters. He smile soon faded as she recognized each seal. Her eyes began to sting as she opened the first. She immediately recognized Leliana’s beautiful Orlesian hand writing.
Nathaniel and Velanna stopped their bickering as they saw the tears roll down her face. She smiled through these as she read Leliana’s letter. It detailed most of her adventures since leaving Zalenas and company. And a brief summary about Andrew and justice as well as what was going on now with the new Inquisition. “My lady?” He asked unceremoniously shoving Velanna off of him.
Zalenas shook her head and waved him off not to worry. “A dear friend I have not heard from in ages is all. Come let us be on our way back to Denerim.” She said standing and walking as she broke into the next letter. It had been from Morrigan. She mounted her horse and they were under way.
As she read Morrigan had been sparse in detail. Explained that Kieran was doing well and had grown into a fine young boy. Zalenas was glad they were unharmed after reading what Leliana had to say about all that happened after the visit to the winter palace. “What ya reading there your highness?” Oghren asked falling back to make sure she was alright bringing up the rear of their party.
“Letters from Morrigan and Leliana. Would you like to read them?” She asked handing him both letters when she had finished reading Morrigan’s.
“Nah, if they're doing all right for themselves that's really all that matters I guess.” He said “Still a day or two from Denerim though. Howe thought you should know.”
“Thank you Oghren.” Zalenas smiled stowing away the first two letters. When she came to the third she did not know what to make of it. Unlike the other two which had had least two to three sheets of parchment; this one was only one piece. She wondered who this could have been from. She did not know anyone else that was within the Inquisition and Alistair normally rambled on for at least ten pages.
Opening it her brow furrowed at the writing. She knew the messy handwriting as Cullen. She gave a small half smile at the former Templar’s scribble. Short, simple and to the point.
She looked up from the parchment and observed her current fellows. Did she hold a grudge? No. No she didn't. She was happy and has been for the past ten years. Cullen didn't have to apologize for something that was out of his control. Her smile grew wider as she rolled Cullen’s letter and stowed it with the others in her bag. She would write each of them at length when she returned to the palace. There was plenty to after all.
-- -- -- -- --
The days wore on becoming weeks and almost a month. Amaliana’s letters were regular as she found moments to write Cullen during her stay in Crestwood. Cullen other wise ultimately irritable would be at peace when reading the words of his beloved Inquisitor. As the days wore on into the start of the second month Amaliana’s letters had grown sparse and the commander more anxious each day she did not write or come home. “I am ordering you to take a break commander.” Cassandra said firmly ushering him out of the main hall.
“You can't order me seeker” he tried to snarl but it was no good. Cassandra would have none of it.
“She is fine. And you know it. Go read a book if you are done with your paper work. Otherwise, commander you will take a break or I will see to it your leg is broken.” Cassandra told him. Cullen was taken aback by this, but he understood. Without the lyrium he felt more anxious without Amaliana during her long quests away from Skyhold.
“Perhaps some reading material you have not already read ten times over?” Leliana said sidling up to him as he walked to the Herald’s Rest.
“What do you mean? He asked stopping to look at the spymaster who seemed almost giddy.
“A letter from your dearest. As well as a letter from the queen herself. News from Denerim has been most joyous as of late.” Leliana said handing him a bundle of paper and hurrying off to possibly find Morrigan.
Cullen flushed red. If the spy master knew them all of Skyhold knew. What did he care? He opened the letter from Amaliana first as he walked to his office. She apologized at length for not writing as often as she would like, that they are almost done in Crestwood and should be home within another three weeks. He smiled at her ramblings and his face turned redder than the rashvine growing in the garden at the mention of a few new things Dorian may or may not have mentioned to her about making their nights more interesting.
Maker’s breath woman! I'm happy with just laying in bed with you. Stop hanging around that mage! He thought to himself imagining what she had described. Maybe it was not such a bad thing?
Cullen set her letter to the said and braced himself for the next letter. He recognized the handwriting. It was from Zalenas. His heart pounded in his chest as he broke the royal seal on it and began to read.
Cullen,
You have nothing to apologize for. Agreed we did not part on good terms, but I have moved on and pray you have as well. You will always be my dearest friend. You, Leliana and Morrigan.
My party and I did not hear any such call and neither did Alistair. After reading Leliana’s letter please know that we are safe and sound. Also Please thank the Inquisitor for her efforts in the Hinterlands. Saved me a great deal of drabble from Alistair so that we could focus on other things as I returned home.
I do apologize though for not replying sooner. When I had returned Alistair was determined that we would not leave our chamber for at least a week. He isn't the brightest candle in the chandelier most days but he his a good king and husband and soon to be father.
Also you must tell me more about lady Trevelyn your dear Inquisitor. Leliana told me that the two of you were in love! I wish to know more, post haste if you would!
Your dear friend and mighty queen and warden commander
Zalenas
Had he read that right? Is that what Leliana had meant about the news from Denerim being joyous as of late? He was beside himself. Not only was Zalenas still his friend but she approved of his relationship with Amaliana. He would have to send a gift to the as he re-read the last part. Even as queen she had a flare for the dramatic.
Of course writing to the queen would be much easier than writing to his sisters. He began the task of writing. First to Amaliana. Telling her of the news from Denerim if it already had not come to Crestwood. He would also be open to trying what Dorian had suggested after much thought on his part.
...Cassandra has ordered me to take some time off. I cannot abide for very long. We both know that. I hope to see you home safely and soon.
Love always
Cullen
“That should do with that one” he said to himself.
He then began on a reply to Zalenas.
Zalenas,
Thank you for being so understanding. I had feared otherwise.
I am relieved to hear that you were not a part of that. It was a mess, Adamant I mean of course.
A congratulations are in order then. You will make a fine mother. Of that I am sure of. You have every right to be happy. Amaliana and in will send a gift as soon as we are able. As well as all of Skyhold I'm sure.
Ask and I shall tell what I am able. Though keep in mind I cannot confirm or deny anything without her first approval.
Your friend
Cullen.
He sat back and looked at the writing. He was proud of himself. Between Amaliana and the letter to the queen, he had written more than he thought he could.
Sealing both letters he made his way to the rookery. Leliana and Morrigan stood waiting for him. He attached the one letter to the raven he and Amaliana had been using and handed over the one to be sent to the queen. “She will be most pleased to hear from a of us so soon.” Leliana practically giggled.
“Yes, and news of a child is most joyous indeed. I am happy for them” Morrigan said just above a whisper more to herself than anyone else.
“A grand occasion for all of Thedas I'm sure” Leliana said walking to the window and letting both ravens go on their way.
“A grand occasion indeed” Cullen said. His mind was elsewhere.
“And here we have the elusive commander Cullen stuck in a daze. Tell me, what is it like in your strange little world” Morrigan jabbed at him with a smile.
He snapped out of his daze and gave the witch a flare without much fire behind it. “Tis only curious”
“Keep me out of your curiosities. Thank you” said turning and walking out of the rookery. He could hear the two women laughing. He didn't care. His soul had felt more at peace than it had been in ages. Tonight he would sleep well.