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No one knows who he is, that he is a part of Nu'est. Everyone knows about Minki, Dongho, Minhyun and Jonghyun. He is honestly really glad for them, for all the popularity they had gained. Nu'est are getting more recognition, but he couldn't help but to feel a bit bitter and sad. Bitter because all of them had gained a bigger fanbase individuality except him, but what he was most sad and felt bad about is the fact that he felt like he dragged them down. While they had gotten more popularity what had he been doing? While they fought for months to get more recognition what did he do really? He felt bad that he hadn't been able to contribute at all.
-
All the members had come home exhausted after the final. Emotionally and physically drained. He had hugged them and thanked them for all their hard work. Minhyun had just quietly hugged him back before slowly making his way to his room. After worryingly staring after him he had told the others to go to sleep and get a good night of rest. Good nights had been said and the only quiet as the members had gone away. Now he was just sitting down in the kitchen, the sleepiness had seemed to just disappear. Different thoughts consumed his mind and he was getting lost in them. He didn't know how much time had passed before a voice called him out of his thoughts.
"Hyung?" The voice was quiet but he didn't even have to turn around to know who it was.
"Hmm? Ah, J-ah why are you awake?,” He turned around to look at Jonghyun, who still looked very tired and sleepy. “You should get some more rest, you deserve it"
"I was going to get something to drink and go back to sleep, but I saw that you were awake," It felt like Jonghyun stared right into his soul. Eyes showing curiosity and concern. "Hyung, why are you awake? Something bothering you?"
"Nah everything's fine. Let's go to sleep." He made a move to stand up and walk towards their rooms, but Jonghyun gently grabbed his wrist and made him sit down again.
"Hyung, something's bothering you so much that you apparently can't sleep. You know you can always-"
"J-ah, it's fine really. You don't need more to think about right now. It will pass, I'll be fine. Let's go back to sleep"
When he stood up this time Jonghyun didn’t try to stop him. He could feel Jonghyun looking after him as he moved towards his room.
-
About a week had passed since the final and he felt like the time had passed more slowly than it actually had. He watched as Minhyun was now feeling slightly better about having promote with ‘Wanna one’ alone. They had encouraged him and genuinely told him that they were happy for him. They had supported and tried to cheer Dongho up, who was feeling bad after the scandal. But people had been coming forward defending him, so they hoped it would be cleared up fast. Even if the damage was already done. With all the things happening, even if there was good things that happened too, he felt quite bad. Not only because of Dongho’s scandal. He had gradually been losing sleep, staying awake at night just thinking. Thinking about Nu'est, their popularity, their hardships and about the other members.
-
He was awake and thinking yet again. This time he was thinking about Jonghyun. About the fears he confessed at Produce 101 and his feelings as leader he had said before. He was the oldest yet all the pressure had fallen on Jonghyun. Their precious Jonghyun who had not leant on anyone but been bearing the responsibility alone. He felt like he should have helped more or at least been a shoulder to lean on.
Feeling extremely restless just lying awake he decided to get up and go out on a short walk. It was late, but he decided to still go out and try to clear his head. Sneaking out as quietly as possible, so he didn't wake up the others. He walked around for a while, no real destination in mind. It was warm outside since it was summer and the wind was blowing slightly, it was really nice. The sun was about go up when he decided to start walking back to the dorm.
As the door closed behind him back at the dorm, he was startled at the sudden voice behind him.
"Hyung, where were you?" Jonghyun was looking at him with a stern expression.
"Aish, you scared me. I was just out walking for a bit and why is always you that are awake?"
"Why?"
"Couldn't sleep, so I decided to go out for a bit"
"Hyung, you said you'd be fine. But you're looking more tired for each day that passes, I'm worried the others are worried too," Jonghyun let out a frustrated sound. “Something's wrong but you're not telling us.”
"It's really nothing you should worry about."
"Youngmin-hyung, we are worried because we care! You said it was nothing to worry about, if that was true you would not look so bad. Please, we just want to help! Talk to us, talk to me"
He looked into Jonghyun's pleading eyes before turning away.
"Jonghyun-ah... Do you…” He let out a sigh. “Do you think I'm a burden? Since I have done nothing for the team while you guys were on produce 101? You guys are popular and have a fanbase, people don't know me. They don't know who I am or that I even are on this team! People only talk about you four as they talk about Nu'est, it's like I don't even exist. Even with this comeback, will it be enough? Will I be enough? You guys have worked so hard the last month, what have I done? What if I drag you down? Should I even be on this team?"
In the middle of his rant he felt a hand under his chin.
"Hyung, look at me! We don't think of you as a burden. You didn't decide to not appear on produce 101, the company did." He felt himself be pulled into a hug. "After this comeback people will know who you are."
Suddenly he felt more arms around him.
"Youngmin-hyung, you are enough. We would never think of you as a burden."
"Minhyun-ah"
"Hyung, you won't drags us down. We are in this together.”
"Dongho-ah"
"Yea, they are right! It would be weird if you wasn't on the team, I'd miss you hyung!" The last person said while sniffling.
"Minki-ah"
He stared at all of them, slightly shocked but really really grateful. He could feel that his eyes starting to tear up a little bit.
"Hyung, you see? You don't have to worry.” Jonghyun smiled at reassuringly him. “We have been together for 5 years, we have gone through all these trials together. We don't plan on leaving someone behind now, this is our chance. We are best friends, family. Even if it still will be obstacles on the way, we will continue to fight together!"
Even after being reassured, he still felt a bit wary of the future.
"Yea we don't plan on leaving anyone behind hyung! That means all of you!"
“It means you too Minki-ah.” He smiled at all of them.
But maybe he could just take things as they came, after all he still had them all by his side.