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Lana Lang has been many things in her lifetime: former First Lady of the United States, former CEO of LexCorp, former businesswoman. But it’s not the formers in her life that matter, no, it’s who and what she is currently: Business Editor at the Daily Planet and just as importantly a mother, aunt, and sister figure to two of the most important people of her life, a certain Clark Peter Ross, and a Linda Lang (aka Supergirl). It is the latter that has gotten her into the predicament that she’s finding herself at freaking 5am.
You see, Linda herself? Great girl. Amazing. Wonderful. Super, even. However, upon arriving to Earth, a certain skeptic had quickly turned into one of her greatest fans to the point that despite Lana having officially adopted Linda as her niece, a certain Gothamite seems to think he’s adopted her as his own daughter. There was no way in hell that Lana had signed up for joint custody of Linda, not with Batman of all people. Yet, this was her life, and this is the scenario she’d found herself in.
What scenario you ask? Oh, nothing really, just the goddamn Batman in her living room thinking he’s sneaking quietly only to have stepped on the single one (1) creaky plank of them all. So despite Metropolis being a fairly safe city, and Lana herself being best friends with the Man of Steel of all people, she’s a big girl who can take care of herself should she need to. So when she heard the creak and knew damn well that it hadn’t been Linda that made it, Lana quietly reached for a cast iron pan, cautiously stepping where she sees the faintest glow coming off of white lenses from behind and then claps on the living room lights which suddenly blind the Caped Crusader who had very much been using his night vision mode.
From behind she didn’t realize just who he was, just the fact that there was a stranger wearing a black cape in her living room, attempting to be sneaky at five in the morning. Suspicious for anyone. So she’d only done what anyone else in the situation would have and struck the man across his back. Batman fell forward, losing his balance when the cast iron struck him. Lana would have called for Linda to back her up only to have realized she was over the Kent family farm this weekend. So great, now all of Lana’s lean frame was going to somehow take care of the man she assumed she’d knocked out. Only, she hadn’t.
Batman stood back up with a grunt, the box that had been in his hand previously remained on the ground and he held his hands up in a non threatening gesture to let her know he was of no harm. “Lana,” the deeply altered voice managed, “it’s me, Batman.” As if she was best friends with Batman of all people.
“What are you doing here?” She responded with. A fair and rightful question to ask the intruder.
“The box,” a hand bent at the wrist to point downwards at the floor, “to test Linda.”
‘Of course it had to do with the boxes,’ Lana had thought to herself. Linda had mentioned a certain someone would drop some boxes at their doorstep but she hadn’t considered he’d also be breaking and entering her home when she was very much at home and awake. Somebody’s going to need to give him a talking to about manners, very much preferably Clark because she was only starting to brew herself a pot of coffee when he’d intruded.
She let out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t have enough coffee in me to deal with this right now.” She headed back towards the kitchen, “uh...sit down, Batman.” As if telling Batman to sit down was a normal thing to after striking his armored suit with nothing but a six pound skillet. He did though, after placing the box on top of her coffee table, that is.
After about five minutes, she came back into the kitchen with a cup of joe for both herself and Batman. She was finally able to see the box, it was gift wrapped with a delicate bow and fringe on top, no wonder Kara tended to open it whenever she’d see it. It was surprisingly pretty and definitely unexpected for him to bring.
Lana finished her first cup, stood up straight in her arm chair and then pointed at the box. “So…,” a pause to let him have a chance to respond but when she saw that he hadn’t even opened his mouth, she continued, “the box.”
“Yes,” he’d responded. A response that made her double take if he’d been asking her ‘yes’ or if it were a preface for something more that he was very clearly going to expand upon. Certainly that would be the case, wouldn’t it?
It wasn’t. Batman’s yes was a question aimed at her, she definitely didn’t have enough coffee for this and went back to the kitchen to pour herself another mug full. She’d chugged nearly half of it by the time she’d sat back down at her favorite chair once more.
“Let’s try this again, Batman. The box…,” a brief pause before she’d realize that maybe she should just bluntly tell him exactly what it is that she’s expecting. “Why did you break into my house at five am to bring a gift wrapped box?”
His lips pursed briefly before parting to explain. “Ka--,” he’d started, remembering her civilian identity was not the same as her Kryptonian name and stopped himself, “Linda is too trusting. Too willing to expect the good in people that something so inviting doesn’t even make her second guess the contents inside. The box itself is made of lead, making it impossible for her to see through, and thus worthy of skepticism. Yet, she’s proven to be trusting time and time again.”
“I know who Kara is, Kara is as much Linda as she is Kara,” a quickly stated reply when Bruce had rebounded from his misspeak. There was a point in time that Kara had attempted to be Linda and only Linda, a phase Lana couldn’t stand. By the time he’d finished his statement about trust, as if the average person would be gifting Linda with lead boxes, she’d finished her second mug. When she’d noticed that he hadn’t even touched his, she reached over and grabbed it. ‘Sorry pal,’ she thought to herself, ‘after the morning you’re making me have, I deserve this coffee.’ So she took a good gulp before straightening up once more and resting the mug on the chair’s armrest.
“This has what to do with breaking into my apartment to drop off the box?”
“If I’d had left it at the door, the probability of someone having stolen it or it being trashed was great.”
“So why did you decide to wait to break into my home at five am to do it. I would suggest two am, maybe three, I’m always asleep then.”
A pause. “I apologize, I didn’t consider your sleep schedule.”
“Of course you didn’t. I nearly had a heart attack seeing what I believed to dark shadow moving across my living room.”
“I’m sorry, Lana.”
“Damn right you’re sorry. Sorry enough to tell me the contents of the box?”
Batman was caught by surprise, “a note in Kryptonese along with some practice exercises I was going to have her evaluate. There’s also a gift card, if you’re interested…” Batman then decided to take something out of his utility belt and handed over two cards. One, his, Batman’s card. Two, a gift card for her trouble.
She hesitated before grabbing them from him. Almost not sure if she should. “T-thank you, Bruce.” It was spoken so naturally, she didn’t realize. Linda’s accidentally referred to the Batman more than a dozen times over the years as Bruce that she’d only caught on.
Batman, however, was taken by surprise. “Bruce?” He’d asked skeptically, rhetorically even.
That’s when she’d realized, a visible hesitation as worry instantly marked her features and she’d try some damage control. “I don’t intend on telling anybody, I know you’ve got a thing for privacy.” She’d waved, gesturing at his suit, cowl, and the box.
He took a moment before releasing a deep breath that not even he realized he’d been holding since hearing his name spoken by Lana. After a brief moment of considering the possibilities and taking into account that Lana’s known about Clark his entire life, he considered and decided that he too can trust her as well. It was then that he’d removed the cowl off his head and willingly shared his identity with her. “Thank you, Lana.” It was for everything. From stopping the beating she could have dealt out with the skillet to the hospitality to the respect of his privacy.
It was weird, she was only getting ready for an early morning at work due to some crucial power changes in the Metropolis business world and she just needed to wake up. All of her plans halted all because Bruce freaking Wayne decided five am was an appropriate time to break into someone’s home and leave a lead gift that was relatively ordinary and far from a gift to her niece of sorts. Ridiculous. Who would have thought that the man who’s the reason for her unnecessarily day would be paying her a visit. Well, maybe not entirely him since he’s not in any official capacity working at Wayne Enterprises any more but it is his name is what ties it all together.
She sat agape at the realization of whom he was even though she’d had assumption before. After all, Clark was close to Bruce Wayne and she’d seen him in private, familial events before; just as Superman was close to Batman. It had made sense, but his ‘personal’ life truly made it seem to be unreal especially when he’d publically came out to be the financial supporter of none other than the Batman, it just made more sense he was more of the silent partner than the actual man in cowl. Yet, none of that mattered when she’d realized that she could have the best excuse to be coming in late.
An exclusive on the records interview with none other than Bruce Wayne to go with her cover spread of how Wayne Enterprises was buying up shares of LexCorp and making Metropolis a second home to the massive business. She may not be a reporter herself, but she was a brilliant businesswoman that could ask the right questions engineered to getting the most out of her mystery guest as possible.
“Mr. Wayne, how about you keep the card and you gift me straight from the horse’s mouth.”
And that was the beginning of Lana’s very bizarre but amicable friendship with Batman and Bruce Wayne.