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Part 70 of 00Q Tumblr Prompt Fills
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2014-01-17
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523
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Treat Q's Stuff Right

Summary:

James returns to Q branch in order to return his gear from his last mission. He comes in at the tail end of Eve yelling at Q to get laid.

James can help with that.

Notes:

I have a prompt for you! Bond goes to return his equipment to Q branch after a difficult mission. He walks in to find Eve laying into Q about how grumpy he’s being, which Q isn’t taking well. Bond hears only the very last part, as Eve yells at Q to just get laid already. What happens after that is completely up to you. —anon

Work Text:

It was oddly refreshing, walking into Q branch and not being the one being yelled at. It didn’t happen that often for 007.

No, it was Eve who seemed to be in a foul mood, or at least, that was what James could gather. He didn’t know for sure. All he knew was that Eve was now leaning over Q’s desk, giving the Quartermaster an earful.

“…just because you’re in a piss poor mood doesn’t mean you have to make the rest of us suffer as well.” Eve ranted.

Judging by Q’s posture, hunched over his latest project while trying to pointedly ignore the woman in his ear, this treatment had been going on for quite some time. So James contented himself to stand in the doorway, watching his Quartermaster get the lecture for a change.

After a few minutes, Eve threw up her hands in defeat, “God, Q, just get laid already!” She huffed, storming her way out of the office without even acknowledging James’s presence. James had to let out a little chuckle at the spectacle.

The noise caught Q’s attention, drawing the Quartermaster’s gaze away from his project and to where James was standing. He did not look amused. “Not a word, Bond, not one word.”

James held up his hands as he walked toward the desk, “I volunteer as tribute,” He smirked, “You know, in case you need someone taking care of your little problem.”

Q threw a screwdriver at James, which he caught easily, “That was far more than one word.” He grumbled, “And not tempting in the slightest.”

“Well it was a joke, unless you actually did want to—”

“What part of not tempting did you miss?” Q raised an eyebrow, “You aren’t as irresistible as you might think, Bond.”

James shook his head, “And you are wound tighter than you think, Q.”

“Yes yes, I work too hard; I’m a troll to my coworkers, etcetera etcetera. I do believe you were here for Eve’s monologue.” Q rolled his eyes, “I do not need an encore performance. Now, is there a reason you’re down here, other than to annoy me?”

The agent smirked, holding up the gun in his hand, “Came to return this actually.”

Q raised an eyebrow, “You’re returning your gun. Whole? It’s not in pieces or in the stomach of a komodo dragon?”

“I’m afraid so, nice and boringly whole.” James set the gun on the desk.

The Quartermaster snorted, “I think this might be a better pick up line than your silly “volunteer as tribute” line.”

“Oh really?” James raised an eyebrow, sliding around the desk and leaning over Q, “You get turned on by getting your toys back in one piece?”

“Well, I do like it when the agents can treat my…equipment right.”  Q smirked.

James returned the smirk, leaning closer to Q, “And what would you do if I brought back the car you gave me in one piece?”

“Well that would depend.” Q looked up at James, “Did bring my car back in one piece?”

The agent didn’t say anything, simply drawing the car key from his jacket pocket.

 

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