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ANNABETH
I knew I would find him up here. It's clear from the look on his face that I'm the last person he was expecting, though.
It's a few hours before sunrise, but I can't stand the thought of spending another minute staring at the ceiling in my cabin. I've been thinking lately-- not about anything in particular, more like about... everything all at once. Where the Athena Parthenos will go, how it will be used. Percy. Jason. Camp Jupiter, which was so close to my dad's house this whole time and no Greek even knew about it. That line of the prophecy about storm and fire.
I know I shouldn't try to overanalyze everything, but sometimes I think I could prevent it if I think about it hard enough. And if I can't fix it, who can? I remind myself that that kind of pride is the fatal flaw of children of Athena.
"Annabeth," Nico di Angelo says coolly. I give him credit for a quick recovery. He's looking down on me from his perch on the foremast. "You're up early." It's so windy that my hair is attacking my face, and Nico's up high, but I can still hear him perfectly. I'd stop to think about why sound seems to carry perfectly on the Argo II, but I remind myself that I came up here for a reason.
"I couldn't sleep," I say, which is true. Not that I would lie to him. Or have a reason to. "What are you doing up so early?"
Nico laughs. "You think you can't sleep," he says.
I know I should feel bad for him, but I can't help cracking a smile. I get the feeling he hasn't slept in about a week. I also get the feeling the next time he sleeps will probably last a week, which definitely can't be healthy. Then again, Nico isn't exactly the picture of health.
I open my mouth to say something potentially witty, but he says, "Prophetic dreams again?"
"Yeah," I say. "Sometimes I wish I could dream about boys and school-- like a normal teenager."
Nico seems to find that funny in a sarcastic kind of way. His expression says 'oh, you have no idea' without his even having to open his mouth. I wonder if he knows I caught that tiny shift in his mood. It must have lasted a millisecond.
I realize shouldn't have said anything-- of course his dreams about people dying would be worse than mine. He's probably been dealing with them since he knew how to talk.
"Can I ask you something?" I say. Right. The whole reason I came up here in the first place.
"Technically, you just did."
"Something else," I say.
Nico takes a deep breath of the thin, freezing mountain air. I wonder how he hasn't frozen to death yet. He can't weigh a hundred pounds-- including that beat-up bomber jacket he's had since he was 12. And he almost never eats.
He fixes me with his green-brown eyes. Someday I'll decide what color they actually are. You know, when we're done avoiding the constant threat of dying.
"If it's about Split," Nico says, "then no, you can't."
I nod. I didn't think I was going to get anywhere with that. He's been even more guarded than usual lately. I didn't know that was actually possible.
"But," he continues, then pauses so long that I'm not sure he's actually going to finish the sentence. The wind whistles through the sails and I'm glad I have Percy's massive green hoodie.
"But," Nico says agian, "it wasn't about you. Not directly."
A thousand questions immediately explode in my mind. It's like fireworks. Inappropriate question fireworks. Then who was it about? What do you mean, not directly? But I thought you had a crush on me? Does Jason know what happened too? Does Piper know?
I say, "Okay."
I get the feeling it took a lot of courage for him to tell me that, even though I'm not exactly sure why. Pressing the issue occurs to me, then I imagine a tiny archer shooting it down, setting it on fire, and throwing it into the ocean. I respect Nico much more than that. If he wants to talk about it, he'll talk.
There's a long silence, but it isn't uncomfortable.
"Sunrise is in about an hour," Nico says eventually. "You're welcome to stay up here."
I wonder if he knows things about the Earth the way Percy knows things about the ocean, since those are their fathers' respective domains. I almost ask him the distance from Earth to the Sun right now, then I realize his step-mom is Persephone and it would probably be really rude. Her presence or absence in the Underworld is what causes the seasons. Axial tilt and distance from the sun just happen to be really scientifically excellent coincidences.
I lean against the guard rail that surrounds the upper deck of the ship. I watch the mountains. I doubt the snow on them has been seen this close up by anyone but birds. Initially, I was afraid of falling off the ship, but recently I feel like the ship itself won't let me. Maybe it's Festus protecting us all, or maybe it's just my imagination. I guess if I ever fall, I'll find out. Maybe I'll ask Jason.
The wind changes and I smell brine and seaweed. It's Percy. A feeling of localized doom settles on my shoulders and I almost pull out my knife. I squash the sensation down. How could Percy possibly mean danger?
I sense, rather than see, Nico shift uncomfortably on the foremast. Apparently he's not afraid of falling either. I wonder if he could survive a fall from this high, do something to the earth to keep himself from being squashed like a sheet of filo.
"Annabeth?" Percy calls.
"I'm over here," I say. "Is something wrong?"
Percy crosses the deck and leans against the parapet next to me. "I just, uh," he says, "wanted to watch the sunrise with you, before..." The unspoken part of that sentence is: before one of us dies in the war with Gaea.
I think I hear Nico rolling his eyes.
"Percy," I say, gently. "You don't have to... I mean, there's nothing to worry about. We'll make it." I smile and take his hands. "We always make it."
"I'm just worried," Percy mutters. It's true. He looks like he hasn't been able to fall asleep all night. "I can't..." His voice breaks. The unspoken part of that sentence is: I can't lose you again.
Trying to ignore Nico's presence, I wrap my arms around Percy's waist. Technically, we're not alone, but I hope Nico won't tell Coach Hedge.
"Please try to get some sleep, Seaweed Brain."
Percy closes his eyes and rests his chin on top of my head. It's a totally stupid gesture, but definitely 100% Percy. It also underscores how much taller he's gotten, which is cute in a dorky way. So, also totally Percy.
"Alright, Wise GIrl. But you owe me a sunrise."
I can't help smiling. That stupid nickname has followed me for years, but I can only tolerate it when it's from him.
"Get some sleep," I say again, and pull him down for a quick kiss. Very quick. I'm totally not looking forward to Coach Hedge probably eventually finding out about it. I think he may have recruited Festus into hormonal teenage demigod lookout duty.
Percy walks back belowdecks, totally smiling the whole time. The air still smells like brine, but also like rain-soaked earth. If Percy ever noticed Nico was there, he didn't say anything about it.
"Must be nice," Nico says quietly. I don't think he meant for me to hear it. Is he... jealous of Percy? It would make sense. I've suspected Nico's had a crush on me for years now.
"Oh, Nico, you'll find someone eventually. I'm sure there are tons of girls who--"
"Don't be so sure," he says sharply.
I'm speechless, mostly because I wasn't expecting him to be quite that upset about what I thought was just a simple statement. I run a quick analysis of what I just said to find out what ticked him off.
You'll find someone eventually? Nico was technically almost eighty years old. Maybe he resented how long he had been stuck in the Lotus Hotel. It was unreasonable of me to think of time the same way he must have.
I'm sure? I'd never known Nico to be a rationalist, but maybe he didn't like my presenting an educated guess as an absolute truth.
There are tons of girls?
...
Was Nico jealous of me?
I mentally rewind the last few minutes. The point in the sentence where he cut me off is important. The way he almost fell off the foremast when he smelled the ocean is important. I go back further. The way he looked at us before we fell into Tartarus. Further. He helped Percy bathe in the River Styx before the Battle of Manhattan. Even before that, he trusted Percy above anyone else to watch out for Bianca on the Quest of the Five.
Nico had been even more distant than usual since Split because the secret he'd been keeping since he was ten had finally gotten out, and he wasn't happy about it. He didn't know whether it was safe to trust Jason. He didn't know whether it was safe to trust any of us.
Nico had a crush on Percy. Nico had idolized someone who was completely oblivious. For four years. Never expecting anything in return, but always hoping.
He must hate me for being so happy while he's been trying to convince everyone he's doing just fine.
"Nico--" I start to say, but he jumps down from the foremast and lands next to me, barely making a sound. He'd knew I figured it out as soon as I knew I had figured it out. He probably wished he'd never said anything. Probably wished he'd just nodded and smiled as I stupidly promised that there were plenty of girls in the world who'd love to spend time with him. My conscience made a note that I was a jerk.
"I knew I shouldn't have come here, to this ship," he says, his voice shaking. Is he angry? Ashamed? Both? "If you tell, anyone, at all, what you just figured out, I..." He's trying to sound threatening, but really he just sounds sad. The wind is whipping his hair around his face and it's too dark to tell if he's crying. I get the feeling he's trying not to.
I remind myself that even if he's really 80, he's still only 14. Three years younger than I am. The developmental milestones that can happen in three years are huge. And even demigods go through puberty. He's dealing with more minotaur crap than all of us right now. Oh, gods. I feel so bad for him.
"Nico, gods, you know I would never tell anyone about..." I trail off. He already doesn't trust me. What can I tell him?
He takes a few deep breaths. He meets my eyes. "Don't be so sure," he says darkly, then turns away. "Enjoy your sunrise."
Nico di Angelo melts effortlessly into the eerie pre-dawn shadows and disappears. Like he was never even there.
For some reason, I can't get the line of the prophecy an oath to keep with final breath out of my head. I stare at the mountains.