Work Text:
We pick up in New York City.
It had been nearly a year since the Battle of New York. That name always made Jasper want to throw something. “The Battle of New York.” It had been a battle for the entire world, and if the World Security Counsel had had its way New York City would be nothing but a memory. As he looked over the city that was still rebuilding, he wondered if it would ever be the same again.
Trying to find the man I never got to be.
He'd been promoted. The whole thing had happened so quietly that sometimes he forgot it had even happened. There wasn't any room for celebrating. There was too much work to be done, too many agents to mourn. The whole organization was scrambling to find a way to set itself right way up again. Level 7 didn't seem quite as exciting anymore.
But when I pushed down on the pavement. I found the whole thing so much harder than it seemed.
They had all been so broken. He had tried so hard to mend the pieces. At first it had been easy. There was tech to find and recapture, rebuilding to do. And he had tried to be there for Clint and Natasha. What they had gone through was so great, he didn't even know if he had helped them, but he had tried. Then they hadn't needed him as much. The whole world had started moving forward again and he suddenly found that he couldn't move with them. It was as though all the doing and dealing with others pain had kept his own at bay and now it all seemed to be rushing in on him, drowning him.
The only deal I ever signed no devil drew a dotted line; The stage was set; the words were mine; I’m not complaining.
S.H.I.E.L.D. had been his job, his home for so very long. All he had ever wanted, all he had ever striven for and he was getting it. Yet it didn't feel anything like he had imagined.
Wake up, shake it off, and repeat.
The nights were the hardest. He knew there were people he could call, should call, but he couldn't bring himself to pick up the damn phone. Things were moving forward. Everyone was moving forward. It was too late to break down now.
It’s just a phase, it’s not forever. It’s just a phase, but I still might have a ways to go.
With a small sigh, Jasper picked himself up off the park bench and headed for home.