Chapter Text
It had been a long day for Cas, and he was pissed. Once again, he had saved Dean Winchester's ass. As he walked toward the bunker, he couldn't help but let his mind wander. He began to think about how many times he had saved the oldest Winchester brother, and how many times said brother had thanked him. How many times he had gotten a thank you or even an I'm sorry. But, the thing is, he hadn't ever gotten either of the two. Every time that he saved him it was brushed off like it was nothing and Dean was heading to bed or telling Cas that he could leave. The more he thought about it, the more Cas got fed up. He had risked so much for this man, he had lost his life for this man, and he couldn't even manage a simple "Thank you".
As soon as they walked into the bunker, Dean was off and on the way to his room.
"Ni-" Dean began to say, but Cas cut him off
"Wait. I want to talk to you, Dean."
"'Bout what, Cas? I'm tired man. It's been a long day."
"How many times have I saved you, Dean? How many times have I almost died for you? How many times have I actually died for you?"
"I dunno Cas, five, maybe six times? Why?"
"What?" Cas could feel the anger bubbling inside of him. "What did you say?"
"I said five or six times. Cas, what's wrong"
"What is wrong is that I have saved you and your irresponsible ass more than only five or six times. And I don't even mind that it has been so many times because I would risk so much for you Dean Winchester. What bugs me, is that after every single time that I make sure you don't die, I don't even get a single fucking thank you. You can't even manage to say two simple words to me. Out of everything, all I want is two words."
By the end, Cas was nearly yelling, and somewhere off in the distance, he heard thunder crackle and saw lightning flash.
"Cas, what?" Dean forced a fake smile "What do you mean? Calm down, it's okay."
"No, it is not okay. I sacrificed absolutely everything for you. Absolutely everything!" He felt his eyes glass over
Stupid human emotions he thought
"I sacrificed it all. My life, my dreams.. my hopes. I.. I just can't anymore Dean! I can't stand it."
No, Cas.. Cas you've got it all wrong. It isn't like that. It was never like that."
"But it is Dean. It is like that and you know it! It hurts you know Dean. It hurts so much. I am suffering because of you. I am suffering because of you. Because of you and your selfishness."
"Cas. I didn't mean to. Cas, no, listen to me. Just.. just hear me out."
"No Dean! I do not want to hear it." He felt a tear roll down his cheek "It is always like this. It will always be like this. That's... that is why I have decided that this, this is best." He raised his voice and allowed the tears to flow. Outside, they could hear the rain and thunder. "Do not call my name. Do not pray to me. And most importantly, do not ask for my help. I do not ever want to hear from you again, Dean Winchester."
"What? Cas, no, please. Don't go. Please."
"No. This. This is it. The last time. Goodbye Dean."
And just like that, Castiel was gone.
Dean couldn't help it. He couldn't help the tears that came. No matter how it seemed, Cas was important to him. He turned to go to his room and noticed Sam standing behind him.
Putting his head down, Dean quickly wiped his eyes and tried to blink away the tears.
"You really fucked up this time, Dean."
"Shut up, Sam." And with that, he turned around and walked to his room and locked the door.
He laid there for a while and thought. He listened to the rain and thunder, and even though Cas was gone, the rain stayed for days.
That night, there in his bed, Dean decided that he would never hunt again