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Min Yoongi was depressed.
He had so much talent inside of him that he felt he would never get recognized, his family never gave him a chance, his friends disapproved of his rapping. “It won’t bring you anywhere,” they always said. He needed to focus on getting a good career. It didn’t matter if he would be unhappy, it didn’t matter if he would turn out to be a bitter asshole. No, all that would matter is that he didn’t bring shame onto the Min family.
That’s all they cared about.
His parents loved him, they cared about him. But they didn’t believe in him. And that was one thing he didn’t know would hurt so much.
But then she came along.
It wasn’t her hair, it wasn’t her body, it wasn’t even her voice that drew him to her. It was the way she sat beside him one day after school and asked him what he was writing.
“Lyrics,” He had said, “Nothing special.”
“May I read them?” She had asked, a soft smile on her lips.
He was shocked. Never had anyone wanted to read something he put his heart and soul into before, no one even bothered to ask him what he was writing. They all knew, but they all thought it was just a waste of time and energy.
The way she read his lyrics amazed him. The way her eyes lit up and how her smile seemed to grow so quickly that it looked as if it would split her cheeks open.
That was the start of their relationship.
He would always write and she would always read and give her feedback.
It was a peaceful atmosphere they carried when they were around each other, as if nothing could effect them and as if no one else could see them. They were in their own little world that they would never let anyone join in or ruin.
She was a light in the dark hole he dug himself.
______
“Your piano skills are getting so much better,” She had said one day as he was playing her a tune he had come up to match some of his lyrics.
“You really think so?” He asked, feeling the weird fluttering feeling he seemed to always get when he was around her.
“I know so,” She answered, landing a kiss right directly onto his cheek.
Yoongi realized then how much she meant to him.
______
“I can’t do this! I should just give up, fuck this!” Yoongi had screamed one day, angry tears flowing down his cheeks as he sat down on her bed, holding his face in his hands, “I want to disappear.”
The room went quiet, all he could hear was his heavy breathing and the slight ticking of her clock that was neatly placed on her desk in the corner of her room.
“Yoongi..don’t fall away. Don’t do this to yourself,” She had said, her voice soft and quiet as it usually always was. He got like this often, and she always knew to never speak any louder than a whisper, knowing that being forceful or any louder would get her nowhere.
“I want you to keep dreaming. I will be here until you die. Always in your heart, always beside you. When something big happens, like right before you go on that stage, and believe me, you will get on stage, I’ll be right there. Cheering you on, always beside you.”
For once, Yoongi believed something.
______
“We’ve decided to do the chemotherapy,” She spoke as they walked down the street together, “I’ve gotten to the point where the bone marrow is too little, I’ll have to stay in the hospital. This..is my last day of freedom.”
Yoongi had expected this, she was getting worse with each passing day. Ever since the day he met her, he had noticed the changes. Perhaps, he was just so scared of losing her that he decided that she would be fine.
She wasn’t fine, and he knew that.
“We’ll fight our challenges together, and come out victorious. Watch.” Her voice and structure was confident.
For a second time, Yoongi believed something.
______
“They accepted my audition. I’m a trainee now.” Yoongi spoke as he lightly ran his fingers over her arm, looking at her as she smiled in her hospital bed.
The hospital in Daegu transferred her to Seoul a while ago, as it was much bigger and better for her kind of treatment.
“I’m so proud of you,” She murmured, holding her hand out for him to take, which he gratefully took with a soft grin of his own.
“I told you, I believed in you.”
______
“I’m scared I’m going to lose you, I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you,” Yoongi had choked out one night, holding her fragile hand in both of his bigger ones as he tried and tried to keep his tears in.
“Yoongi..don’t you remember what I said? I said that no matter what, I would be here with you every time you went on stage, cheering you on. Dream, I will be here to see your creation and be with you in the future. Keep dreaming. Don’t give up on me, Yoongi. I’ll fight this, and you’ll fight too. I believe in you.”
She always knew what to say to calm him down, even if she was scared herself.
______
He dreamed, he kept on. He didn’t allow himself to stop. She told him to keep fighting so he fought, and he fought.
He loved her and would do anything to keep her and her words alive.
______
“Remember when you told me that I would be humble in the beginning, but have the ending be so prosperous? Or that I’ll fully bloom after all of the hardships passed?” Yoongi asked one day, a peaceful look upon his features.
“I do. I remember it every single time I go on stage. I remember every little thing you’ve ever told me, every little touch you’ve ever given me. I remember how I was too scared to kiss you and tell you my feelings, but I always had a feeling that you just knew and accepted them,” He paused, “You were right, I do feel you every time I go on stage. Isn’t that crazy?”
Her name shined so brightly underneath the sun, it made him smile. She was always so bright, she would always stay that way.
“It’s been four years with the boys. I did the song I wrote about you. I added in a little bit of the other one into it too. The ARMY’s loved it. The boys loved it, God I wish you would’ve met them. They’re some of the stupidest but sweetest people you could ever meet.” Yoongi chuckled.
He was at peace with himself.
As he stared at that stone that held her name, he could’ve sworn he had heard her voice, clear as day murmur just as she had all those years ago in his ear, “I’m so proud of you.”
For another time, Yoongi believed something.