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“Historia! Historia, you gotta help me!”
Historia sat up, trying to understand Ymir’s frantic voice. She looked across at her alarm clock, squinting in disbelief.
“Ymir- what even, it’s four am-“
“There’s a spider.”
Historia flung her blankets off, turning her light on and looking around for her shoes.
This was serious.
She shoved her feet into her shoes, pulling one of Ymir’s jackets on, grabbing her keys, and oh-so-slowly opening her window and climbing out (one of the perks of having a room below ground- your window was literally ground level).
She ran across the yard to her car, getting in and starting the engine.
“I’m just leaving, can you tell me what happened?”
“Oh my god- okay, so I’m in the kitchen making food cause I’m hungry as hell and ALL OF A SUDDEN-“
Historia winced, holding her phone to her ear with her shoulder.
“Ymir, please, that hurt.”
“THERE’S THIS FUCKING SPIDER, I KID YOU NOT, ABOUT THE SIZE OF MY HAND. MY HAND, HISTORIA.”
Coming to a needless red light, Historia quickly put her phone on speaker and put it down, still listening to Ymir.
“SO I SCREAM, AND BERTL COMES IN AND HE’S LIKE WHAT THE FUCK YMIR I WAS ASLEEP AND AT THAT POINT I’M ON A GODDAMN CHAIR, HITTING MY HEAD ON THE CEILING. I POINT TO THE SPIDER, WHILE MY FUCKING EGGS ARE OVERCOOKING, AND HE SCREAMS LOUDER THAN I DID, AND JUMPS ONTO MY CHAIR WITH ME. SO THE STOVE’S STILL ON, THERE’S A FUCK HUGE SPIDER, AND MY BROTHER IS CLINGING TO ME. HE’S ABOUT TO PASS OUT, RIGHT, CAUSE THERE’S A GODDAMN SPIDER THE SIZE OF LIKE, YOUR FACE, HISTORIA, YOUR FACE! SO IM LIKE, OKAY BERTL, I NEED YOU TO NOT PASS OUT AND MAKE SURE THAT SPIDER DOESN’T MOVE SO I CAN GO GET MY PHONE AND CALL HISTORIA, CAUSE SHE’S SUPER BRAVE. AND SERIOUSLY, HIS FACE IS AS PALE AS A SHEET, I SWEAR TO GOD. BUT HE’S LIKE OKAY ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE NOT SACRIFICING ME AND IM LIKE BERTL WE ALL KNOW WHO WOULD DIE FIRST IN A ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE AND IT SURE AS HELL AINT ME. SO I JUMP DOWN AND I RUN LIKE HELL TO MY ROOM AND STAND ON MY BED AND CALL YOU AND IM GOING BACK TO THE KITCHEN. OH HOLY SHIT BERTL-“
Historia heard a thump, and then nothing. At that point, she couldn’t hold her laughter in anymore.
Parking hurriedly, grabbing the spare key to Ymir and Bertholdt’s apartment that Ymir had given her, she ran up the stairs as quickly as she could, cursing the four flights.
Someone had to make sure those idiots didn’t burn the whole building down, and obviously it had to be Historia.
She just hoped the neighbors hadn’t heard the screaming.
Finally getting to their apartment and unlocking the door, she burst in, hoping to see something-
….not like what she saw.
Ymir was struggling with Bertholdt over in the dining/living area, there was a fire on the stove, and on the counter, there was a big black spider, the size of Ymir’s hand.
Historia had to figure out her priorities, and fast.
“Oh, thank God, Historia, you’re a fucking goddess. A little help here?”
Ignoring Ymir and grabbing the nearest disposable cup, still full of …something, she dumped it out in the sink while turning on the faucet on.She spun around and slammed it down over the spider, and then turning the stove off, hoping the fire would go away in time for the smoke alarm to not come on.
But what used to be eggs were on fire too.
With a small squeak, she took the pan off the burner and dumped it in the sink, glad for the running water.
With that taken care of, she was finally able to help Ymir with her passed-out brother.
They- or, she, were still standing on the chair, Ymir supporting Bertholdt’s deadweight, looking down at Historia in terror.
“What am I gonna do? You’re too tiny to support him, and I’m all the way up here-“
Historia sighed at her, unable to stop her small smile. She dragged another chair and put it right across from the first, putting the edges together.
“Step back, please? And then crouch, so you can lay him down and get off the chairs.”
Ymir did so, confusion disappearing in favor of awe. She stepped off, turning to Historia speechlessly.
She just smiled up at her, going over to open a window and turn the water off, letting the smoke out. Ymir watched, and when Historia was obviously waiting for her to say something, she stammered.
“Y- you’re so amazing, holy shit, Historia.”
Ymir hugged her, Historia automatically tip-toeing to put her arms around Ymir’s neck, laughing silently. They held onto each other for a while, Historia pulling away when she realized-
They hadn’t done anything with the spider.
She dragged Ymir with her to the kitchen, sighing in relief when she saw it still underneath the cup. She went and picked up a paper from the table, sliding it under the cup. She got to the nearest screen-less window, and threw the paper, spider and all, out of it. She paused, seeing the first hints of color on the horizon, and turning back to Ymir.
“What time is it?”
She checked her phone, sighing when she saw the time.
“Ymir, it’s like five thirty. We have tests today, you idiot. Why were you up?”
Ymir blushed, rubbing her neck and avoiding Historia’s eyes.
“I was… totally studying! Totally! And then I got hungry…”
Historia just leaned forward, resting her head on Ymir, trying to decide what she wanted to do.
Risk waking her parents and actually look okay for school?
Stay with Ymir and get some rest?
Her choice was obvious.
“Mkay, Ymir, I’m crashing on your couch, I just saved you, wake me up at six thirty.”
She moved around Ymir, falling onto the couch, curling up. Ymir turned to watch her, disappointed.
“C’mon, Historia, you can come sleep with me…”
Historia opened an eye, obvious displeasure in her face.
“Did you not just hear me?”
Ymir made a face at her, and she just shook her head, choosing to roll over and smother her smile in a pillow.
--
From then on, when people got to talking about what a goddess Historia was, Ymir always told the story of how her brave warrior angel girlfriend came to her and her brother’s rescue at four am on a school day.