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'One more time', she shamelessly tells herself to justify their actions.
One more kiss onto his tempting lips; one last grunt elicited from deep within him and she'll be done. Satisfied, walking away; filing whatever they're doing in the never-to-think-let-alone-talk-about pile in her brain.
But who is she kidding? There has never been such a thing as a one and done with Oliver and her.
One table shared in her favourite coffee shop near campus on a crowded afternoon that lead to common notes and badly needed encouragement.
One phone number exchanged once their paths crossed again, prompting more conversations and study sessions where a new normal was built.
One night out with his friends who quickly became hers too, their lives bleeding into each other seamlessly for such different yet complimentary people.
One bad month, a break-up for him, lost job for her, that somehow resulted in the ludicrous idea of living together, lifting each other up.
One year growing even closer, heads butting and loud voices filling their shared space, but always ending up in apologetic ice-cream and movies on the couch.
One shared graduation party, as somehow they turned a new page in unison, facing the scary prospect of the future together –one that somehow steered them towards his city, now firmly theirs.
One path taken by her, a few by him before they were set on careers and goals that fulfiled them as much as their friendship, despite anything gone wrong in their lives. Still one apartment for two, silently overlooking the fact neither money nor sadness drew them together anymore, only their wish and wanting so.
One relationship with a different one for her; different ones that never make a whole one for him. Oliver and her always from the outside looking in, overlooking the fact their outside ones felt like the onlookers of their own bubble.
One heartbreak, and countless conversations with friends, hinting them to what was right before their eyes, clouded by years of 'unthinkable'.
One too many drinks one night, finally leading to one kiss upon lips she had memorised long before. A taste, so new and intriguing, almost as much as the feel of his all-too-familiar touch growing into so much more in that moment.
One gasp in surprise and dread, as the kiss dawned on her, urging a forced distance and false apologies that did nothing to dissipate the want overtaking them both.
One more week before the ashes and embers of that first spark fanned into a full blown inferno that had them passionately coming together at last; hurried nips, smacks, swipes, and strokes only firing up their need for each other.
One overwhelming completion, pleasing as no other, but somehow not enough to make them walk away unscathed for good.
One day until the buzzing sensation provoked them once again, swollen lips and harsh breaths mingling in the air as they halted their motions to give place to reason.
One very failed attempt at being just friends once more, awkwardness and the never-ending frenzy and lust at each other's presence making them greedy, weak.
And so 'one more time', she says this Wednesday night when the leash around their feelings gives out and they pounce on each other again. One more time letting reason take the backseat to emotion –after all, it's served them right so many times in their shared history. One more moment indulging in the pleasure only Oliver and this unnamed thing between them gives her, and seemingly she gives to him too. One more night in his arms, feeling all of him in the most carnal way possible; somehow leading to another one that turns delicate, blissfully soft, loving.
One more breathy sigh she lets out when it dawns on her, between the fifth and sixth day he keeps making her the happiest she's ever been, the why one of anything with him will never be enough. One terrifyingly vulnerable thought that changes more than the first ever touch of their lips did.
That's one sentiment that takes one full month to leave her crimson lips, after thirty days of living in a wonderful limbo between the friendship and the more. And the more she realises she longs for, and asks for and promises to uphold in a calm Sunday morning, tangled in his sheets, painting the most glorious smile yet on his lips as he breathes out an equally sublime 'I love you too' that further seals their destiny.
And so one moment of weakness of the flesh that really encompassed one too many repressed thoughts and missed chances, had them heading to a tomorrow that becomes a forever, crystal clear in the bands on their left hands where their fourth fingers meet their knuckles, and the smile lines etched on their faces with the pass of time as they make endless 'one more time's tying them to each other for eternity.