Chapter Text
The wind was slightly biting as Yousef stepped outside. As he walked further out into the street, the sun cast a warm glow over him and the surrounding buildings.
He was on his way to Elias’ apartment, wearing a simple white T-shirt and black shorts.
Elias had called him and the boys over for a game of Kubb. Normally he would have found some excuse not to go, as he had been wary of being in the Bakkoush household for some time, in an attempt to avoid annoying Sana further. But today he felt less apprehensive about the situation, thinking back to Eva’s birthday party on Friday when Noora was showing Sana something on her phone, and how Sana had looked right up at him and smiled. He had spent the last two nights overanalyzing the meaning behind the momentary glances they’d shared.
It was a potential sign to him that maybe Sana didn’t entirely hate him. Still, he would try to keep his distance to avoid getting his hopes up any further.
As he reached their place, he rang the doorbell and after a few moments Elias swung the door open to let him in. He fist bumped with Elias and walked inside shutting the door behind him. He looked around, briefly wondering where Sana was, before quickly erasing that thought from his mind.
“Relax, bro. She’s upstairs in her room.” Elias said with a knowing smile.
“I wasn’t…... ok.” Yousef nodded
He led him outside where the other guys were waiting. Mutta and Adam had already started setting up the wooden blocks in the grass. Mikael was tossing the wooden sticks up in the air attempting to juggle with them.
“What’s up man?” Mutta asked grinning at Yousef.
“Nothing much. Ready to lose to me and Elias?” Yousef teased
“In your dreams, you guys are going down,” Adam declared
Yousef smiled. He was going to miss the guys when he left for Turkey in less than a week. Elias was already chewing him out for leaving just when the Hei Briskeby videos had started gaining in popularity.
“Ok, who’s going first?” Mikael asked, offering up the sticks for the guys to choose.
Elias and Mutta both made a grab for the wooden sticks at the same time followed by Adam. As they took their positions on the lawn, Adam wandered over to where Elias was standing. Yousef and Mikael took a seat on the grass in the shade, waiting for their turns.
Mutta made the first throw and abruptly cursed when it missed the block by a long shot.
“I’m so bad at this,” Mutta grumbled.
Yousef grinned to himself watching Elias attempt a throw at the wooden block off to the side.
“Hey”
Yousef swiftly turned his head towards the voice and saw Sana standing in front of them beaming down at Mikael and him.
Butterflies filled his stomach, and his heart flooded with a sudden warmth. Before he could stop himself he was grinning up at her like an idiot.
“What’s up Sana? You doing well?” Adam remarked
“Join us!” said Mutta
Elias huffed in annoyance. “Join? We’re in the middle of the tournament. She can join later.”
“You’re just worried she’ll beat you at yet another game” Adam taunted.
Elias rolled his eyes before tossing the stick, just barely missing the mark again.
“Mikael, it’s your turn,” Mutta said offering up one of his batons to Mikael.
“Easily” Mikael said
Yousef stared straight ahead at the game, willing himself not to look at her any more than was necessary. He cursed himself at his own stupidity; Sana was just being friendly and nothing else.
“Hey,” Sana repeated, this time the greeting was solely directed at him.
Yousef turned his head slightly and smiled gently at her, his eyes melting upon seeing her sitting next to him.
“Hey,” Yousef softly replied
He waited a few seconds before dipping his head down and turned his attention to the surrounding grass. He began to pick at a few strands here and there, looking anywhere but at her, trying to still his rapidly beating heart.
“Did you have a nice time at Eva’s birthday party?” Sana asked amiably.
“Yah, I had a great time! And you?” Yousef turned his head towards her.
Sana nodded with a smile.
Looking down at the grass again in reticence, he continued.
“The gift she got was awesome. Eskild just popping the champagne bottle and stuff. It wasn’t even his gift.”
“He didn’t even bring a present” Sana added laughing.
“He didn’t even bring one….he was awesome,” Yousef grinned.
“Yeah,” Sana replied.
Yousef hesitated before saying, “Even, it was good to see him again.” He smiled fondly at the thought of his best friend. He was happy that he was doing so well and had found a great guy to be with.
“Mm-hmm,” Sana nodded in agreement.
Yousef didn’t know what else to say. It felt difficult to restrain himself from engaging in more than just polite small talk. He wanted to ask her how she was doing? How her fast was going? Did she ever think about him as more than just her older brother’s best friend? He knew in his mind that it was hopeless to even go down that road again, yet he wished his heart would catch up to his brain. He knew it was for the best that he was leaving for Turkey, but he couldn’t stand the idea of being away from her for the whole summer, even if they weren’t together, he still wanted to be in her life, someway and somehow.
He heard Mutta yell in the background, “Guys, it’s the third time we’ve beat you so please, just put up a bit of a fight.”
“I just thought of something. We have to break the fast together tonight. With some delicious food,” Adam interjected.
“Balkan! Balkan kebab.” Mutta suggested excitedly.
“No bro, Istanbul! Istanbul, right? We have to! But we have to do it before Yousef leaves,” Adam prompted.
“When does he leave?” Elias paused what he was doing and turned to Yousef before shouting, “Yousef! When do you leave?”
Yousef raised his head, looking at Elias and answered, “Saturday”.
Elias repeated, “Saturday?”
Yousef nodded and rolled his eyes. He had only mentioned when he was leaving about three times to Elias already.
“Done. We’ll eat together on Friday,” Adam said.
“No!” Elias answered
“Why not? Relax, we’ll eat together on Friday.” Adam settled
The boys started arguing amongst themselves about why Elias couldn’t eat with them on Friday.
“Where are you going?” Sana asked hesitantly.
Yousef paused, nervous about telling her he was leaving for the summer.
After a few seconds his eyes focused on her and with a small smile he said, “Turkey”.
Sana raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Oh!”. An inexplicable emotion flitted across her eyes briefly, but before he could figure out what it was, it was gone.
Yousef turned his head back towards the guys who were still in dispute, trying to decide which day to meet.
“No, Thursday is better guys”
“No, because on Friday, there’s no school the next day. We can stay up all night and sleep all day. “
“Are you going for a long time?” Sana inquired.
Why was she asking him that? Did she want him to stay? Would she miss him?
He shook his head. Here he was yet again overthinking something that was probably just polite interest. He picked at some more strands of grass and held them in his hand.
He furrowed his brows slightly and gently gazed at her before panicking and throwing the grass in her face.
“Until August”
What was wrong with him? Why did he have to be the most clueless person when it came to flirting. First he steals her ball. Now he throws grass at her? Stupid!
He wasn’t sure if he saw disappointment in her eyes or if that was only what he wanted to see. He looked down at his hands.
“Yousef, it’s you turn” Mikael came over and passed him a wooden stick.
He rose from his sitting position, took the stick, and walked over to where Elias was standing.
“Why am I always the one who has to switch?” Adam complained
“Guys, I’m missing a stick, give me one,” said Elias
Yousef looked at the field and the row of wooden blocks several feet in front of him.
“Okay, Mutta, which one should I hit?” he asked
Mutta pointed to the block in the corner. “Hit this one here”.
“Okay”
“If you hit it, you’re good” Mutta reminded.
Yousef swung his arm slightly, aligning the stick so he could aim properly, before he let go and tossed the stick at the target. The stick sailed a few feet before it bumped into the wooden plank and knocked it over.
The boys all hollered in unison. Elias smiled widely at him and slapped his hand.
“Oh, you see? That’s why he’s on my team,” Elias remarked.
“It’s beginner’s luck, man” Adam grumbled.
“Good” said Elias
“It’s the first time you’re winning, so….” Mutta noted.
Yousef grinned and wrapped his arm around Elias’ neck. “Always. It’s always Elias and I, man.”
“It’s always me and Yousef.” Elias mirrored him and brought his hand around Yousef.
It was true. It had always been Elias and him, for longer than the rest of the boys even. He had had an instant connection to Elias when they first met. They were more than just friends, they were brothers. He was the first one out of all the guys who he’d told about his feelings for Sana. It was a bit nerve-wracking as Elias was Sana’s brother and he wasn’t sure how he would react; whether he would suddenly hate him or forbid him from seeing her. Instead Elias had smiled at him and said “I already know, man. What took you so long to admit it?” Yousef heart warmed at that memory.
As he was reminded of Sana, he quickly glanced over in her direction, hoping that she had seen him win the game, but her head was down facing her phone, texting someone. He tried to hide his disappointment with a fake smile and turned his attention back on the game.
“Should we play another round guys?” Mikael asked.
************
Yousef closed the door to the dance studio behind him and grabbed his empty gym bag from off the ground. Yesterday, he had covered for one of the dance teachers who was sick, but he’d accidentally forgotten his phone in the changing rooms and only when he was all the way home did he finally realize. By the time he headed back there, it was too late and they had locked the doors. Today, after work he had rushed over and found his phone in the lockers where it had been waiting for him. He had been without his phone for more than a day and he couldn’t remember if there was any charge left. Hoping he hadn’t missed any important calls, he hastily turned the phone on and looked at the lock screen. He scrolled through the messages from Elias, and the boys, before his heart stopped in his chest.
Sana Bakkoush has sent you a friend request.
Not only that but she had sent him a message.
Do you want to hang out with me?
Sana added him back on Face? And she wanted to hang out? Was this a date? Or just a casual friend meeting?
This was so much information to process. His heart swelled with cautious optimism as he reveled in the fact that she was actually initiating things between them. But then his mind filled with dread as he realized she sent the message yesterday morning. It was already afternoon, a day later. In her eyes he was ignoring her, or worse rejecting her. That thought propelled him to immediate action, as his fingers sought purchase on his phone, typing out a response as quickly as he could. He mustered up all his courage and hit send before decidedly accepting her friend request.
He looked at the message he wrote.
Of course I want to hang out with you! What about Friday? I’m leaving on Saturday.
Was it too desperate? Maybe he should try to play it cool…… oh well, it was too late.
He was past caring at this point. Sana was finally talking to him again.
The minutes that ticked by were excruciating as he waited with bated breath for her response. He impatiently checked his phone every few seconds, hoping she would reply, fearing she had changed her mind in the time it had taken him to respond to her original message.
Finally he saw the grey typing bubbles in his chat with Sana and he held his breath. He squinted his eyes and raised the phone closer to his face in anticipation. A new message popped up, sending his heart into overdrive.
Oh are you leaving this Saturday? I can’t this week
His face fell….
I hope you have the world’s best summer
His heart sank lower as he reread her message twice more. He had waited too long. If he hadn’t forgotten his stupid phone he could have responded right away and maybe she would have agreed to meet. Of course he would be away from his phone the one time she messaged him first. In the back of his mind he somehow convinced himself that he deserved this. He’d led himself to believe that the fact he wasn’t Muslim wasn’t that big of an obstacle between them. But of course it was, he had been foolish to think otherwise. And now he wouldn’t see her for another two months. He wistfully accepted this turn of events and walked the rest of the way home in silent defeat.