Chapter Text
Every single time, it was the same. Every year, every subject, every genre... Every time. Kise had given up on trying so hard on his studies by the beginning of middle school, and every sport he started, he quit before the month was over. The only thing he hadn't quit was modeling, but it was only due to the most superficial reason he could think of as an explanation. It was for the attention, he couldn't get enough of it. As long as he had this career, no one left him behind. Sure, they stayed for something that wasn't Kise himself, but he can pretend he didn't notice. At least... At that moment, at least, they were there, laughing with him, being with him. At that moment, at least... He wasn't second place.
"Kise kun, you're staring again."
"What? No, I..." Kise sighed, burying his face into his towel to cool his cheeks and hide from those eyes that knew too much.
"Was it that obvious?" He mumbled.
"Not obvious enough, apparently," Kuroko replied, closing his book. Kise supposed that he probably wasn't really reading it anyways. As much as Kuroko had noticed his secrets, Kise had in return found out about Kuroko's own, despite that pokerface that rarely changed.
Kise never thought he'd actually like Kuroko so much, but he did. Kuroko was the most precious friend he had ever made, probably the only real friend he ever made. The first time they had met, Kuroko told him nothing but his faults. To him, he wasn't Kise Ryouta the model, or Kise Ryouta the second choice after Haizaki Shougo. He wasn't treated as anything more than what he was, a new member joining to train together. It had been fun, those middle school days. Even when Midorima positively tried his best to ignore Kise's presence in the room, he felt happy. To them, he had been nothing more, and nothing less. He hadn't been a natural talent to Akashi, but a member with potential. Potential... What a great feeling it was, to be told he had potential. That he had a chance to change, that he wasn't a naturally perfect man, or that he was so imperfect beyond repair compared to someone else... Compared to someone like Aomine Daiki.
"Fuck!" Kagami roared in another futile effort to slap away the ball from Aomine's hands as he flew in for another dunk. They were both sweating so much, anyone would have believed it if someone had claimed that a small raincloud had poured just above the two of them. Kagami fell back down onto his back, his knees buckling under him, and Aomine fell to the ground as well, punching the skies in victory.
"Not again," Kuroko sighed as he pulled out a clean towel and some ice packs from his bag, walking into the court. Sometimes, Kise wished he could have been half as bold as Kuroko was, taking care of the one he loves without a care for who watches... But then again, Kuroko wasn't one to really stand out, so maybe it didn't matter.
Kagami jumped as Kuroko held up the ice pack to Kagami's forehead to announce his presence. No matter how many times he's watched, it was always funny to be able to watch Kuroko be ever so present, while everyone around him didn't see him at all. It was like a magic trick, maybe.
"Kuroko! Damn it, I almost died!"
"If your ankle is sprained again, I'll help you shut your eyes forever, Kagami kun."
Kuroko tossed the towel to Kagami's face with a scowl, and turned to hold the ice pack onto his ankle, that Kise supposed was swelling by now.
"Tetsu, where's my towel?" Aomine pulled at Kagami's towel, which only earned him a smack from the redhead.
"Get it from Kise, you prick."
Kise wanted to, so very wanted to walk onto the court, sit on the ground beside Kuroko, and look down at Aomine's face and wipe away his sweat. Every single time they met like this, Kise always kept a towel in his bag for him, and yet...
"Why would I, when I have Tetsu?"
That earned him an ignite pass onto his stomach, and Kise simply laughed... But only because he couldn't cry.
"Aominecchi, you definitely have to play one-on-one with me someday!" Kise mentioned on their way home. After high school, they rarely met, and when they did, it was only because Kuroko had invited him.
"Ah... I don't know, playing with Kagami take so much out of me, and our regular training schedules are so much harsher than what we used to do in high school. Maybe when I can have a little break from training?"
There were so many things Kise regretted. If only he had continued to study, if only he had not obsessed over the attention he got from show business. If only he had chosen basketball instead. If only he had been less of a coward. But he couldn't help it. As long as he was a star, he thought no one would leave him, that he wouldn't need to be lonely... But even in this world, he was second place to Daisuke Ueda. In basketball, Kise thought he'd be the only rival Aomine could ever need. After all, he was good at imitation. But even in this, he was only second to Kagami. Second in line, second choice, second place.
"Then... Next time, okay? Kurokocchi, I have to go this way so I'll leave first!"
Kise waved and rushed away before he could hear anything more. It made him want to vomit.
He'd always had silly fantasies about cliché movie scenes. When he was younger, he'd imagined that his lover would end up being a tall skinny model with nice boobs and smooth skin who'd look good in his arms. He'd imagined that they'd go on little dates to botanical gardens, sitting on a secluded bench in a remote corner to enjoy a little bit of open air together without prying eyes. He'd imagined that they'd order different foods in a family restaurant in the middle of the night, and share half of it together. They'd pick out clothes for each other, and they'd buy matching shirts or accessories just for the sake of being a typical pair of lovers. They'd end up living together, maybe... and then, someday much later, they'd make love. He'd approach it slowly, despite being in the entertainment world full of one night stands and sparks of lust, because he would love her that much. He'd make sure she knows she is treasured. And then, he might get married. He may be second place to everyone else, but to her and her alone, he'd be the one and only.
But Kise never met anyone like that, and he supposed that he probably never will. He envied Kuroko.
"Hello, Kise kun?"
"Kurokocchi?"
"Kise kun, your tone is annoying."
"No Kurokocchi! Don't hang up! Why did you call me?"
His stylist snickered, and Kise just smiled. She heard him talk to Kuroko so many times that she probably thinks it's his lover or something... Not that she's asked about it.
"Aomine kun and Kagami kun are having their first university game in a few weeks. Will you be coming?"
Kise was so jealous of Kuroko's privilege to use that question. 'Will you be coming?' As in, will you be coming to our school, where the three of us eat meals together, take classes together, and study together?
"Ah... No, I can't, Kurokocchi. I'm... Busy. Yeah, I'm busy."
"...Is that so? Will you be coming to watch them practice this weekend as well?"
"No... I've been offered a huge role in a movie, you see? I have a lot of meetings to attend..."
Kise forced on a smile on his face as though it would portray itself through his voice over the phone and convince Kuroko that he wasn't trying to avoid them.
"It can't be helped then. Please join us for a meal sometime, Kise kun."
"Yeah, sure..."
"I thought you weren't going to take that role," his stylist asked when he had hung up. Kise only smiled.
"Well, I thought I might be able to do it after all, the role of a dying man."