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Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

She stepped out of the truck and was immediately overwhelmed by the oppressive size of the century-old building. Stone and brick and mortar rose several stories above her head and surrounded her on three sides. Long shadows crawled across the pavement, though, as much as she craned her head, she couldn't locate the sun. Colour tended to swing towards the monochromatic and the rare glimpse of something other than grey tried in vain to be anything other than muddy brown. Take away the bars on all visible windows and the guards who were always present and the fact that this was a prison would still be as obvious as the sky was blue. It wasn't so much its appearance -although there was enough of that to convince you- it was a feeling. A feeling of dread and fear. As a cop, she was no stranger to prison; she'd just never been on the other side of the fence.

"Come on, princess, this isn't a tour."

The gruff, flat voice of the older female guard jolted Benson out of her reverie, and, clutching her clear plastic bag, she fell in step with the truck of new female prisoners as they filed into the building.

She barely sat down before the female guard, whose name tag said 'Sylvia Hollamby' barked, "Right then. Which one of you is Olivia Benson?"

"That's me," Benson answered, standing up.

"That's me, miss," Hollamby corrected.

Olivia opened her mouth to ask the woman if she was out of her mind, then remembered where she was and why. Nodding politely, she echoed, "That's me, miss."

As Olivia approached the counter, Hollamby gave her the once over, and, despite being a good six inches shorter than the brunette, somehow managed to look down her nose at her. "American, are you?" When Benson nodded, the guard huffed, "Well, you won't be getting any special treatment around here." She looked at the sheet of paper in the file. "You were sentenced at Ayesworth Crown Court for 18 months?"

"Yes." She wondered why the older woman was glaring at her, then quickly corrected herself. "Yes, miss."

"Date of birth, April 8th, 1969?"

"Yes. Miss."

The guard couldn't quite find fault with the tone, so she continued. "Right. Any special diet? Special religious requests?"

"None that I know of. Miss."

"Right. Take your things and follow Mr. McAllister through that door. A female guard will be there to take your clothes and do a thorough examination."

This caught Olivia off-guard. "You mean a strip-search?"

Hollamby rolled her eyes. "Yes," she sighed, "a strip-search. Though it never seems to do any good, what with all the drugs round here." She looked down at the file again. "You'd know a thing or two about that, wouldn't you, Miss America?"

"Come on, Olivia, this way."

Benson turned to the guard who had quietly directed her to the next room. He seemed like a personable guy, though a bit young for the job. "Thanks, Dominic," she read his name tag.

He coughed and smiled, "You'd best call me Mr. McAllister. Sorry. Prison rules."

"This place should come with an information booklet."

Smiling again, he said, "It does, in fact. You'll be given one when you get to see the Wing Governor." He saw the twitch of her eyebrow. "The warden of the wing, I suppose you'd call her."

Now it was her turn to smile. "Thanks, Mr. McAllister. Do you think I could get an English to American dictionary with that?"

"Ah, but then you'll have no fun trying to figure it out on your own." A female guard entered the room and Dominic gave her Olivia's information. Turning back to Benson, he said, "Miss Erickson will do the examination and Miss Grant will witness it. It's standard procedure, for your protection as well as the guards. Once the examination is complete, you'll be ushered through that door," he pointed to the left, "and taken to your room. You're lucky coming in this early; you won't have to spend time in the general dormitory. We'll be able to set you up in your permanent room straight away. You'll get up to see the Governor sometime within the next couple of days and will be given a personal officer at that time. Do you have any questions?"

She shook her head. "No, seems pretty straight forward."

"Good," he replied. "Just… keep your head down for a while, get used to how things operate, see how things work, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Right. Then I'll leave you to it."

The door clicked shut and Erickson slipped on her gloves. "Please remove your clothes."

As an officer of the law, Benson was well aware of the procedure from arrest to conviction, but it was only when she stood there, naked and exposed, her toes curling on the cold hard concrete floor, that she realized how it must feel, to know that this was it - life as you knew it was over. The finality of it must be the hardest thing, she thought, though the loss of individuality and dignity was probably a close second. By no means was she a prude when it came to nudity; her job hardened her over the years to barely blink at the sight, and she had nothing to be ashamed of regarding her own body, she knew. But this wasn't nudity, this was nakedness, and there was something incredibly demeaning about standing there in front of two women who couldn't have shown less interest in her as a person and only viewed her as another file.

When she was given her clothes, she was surprised to find she was allowed to wear what she brought in with her. She had thought the effort to wipe out individuality would have included some kind of generic prison uniform, but for whatever reason, this wasn't the case, and for that she was glad. She could see how easy it would be to forget who you were and what kind of life you had before prison, but this allowed the prisoner to hold onto one last tattered shred of that existence.

"Let's go," said Miss Grant. "Your room waits."

 

*-*-*-*

 

The unwelcome sight of Jim Fenner made his presence known in the doorway of the small cell.

"Barbara, get your things. You're moving."

The fifty-something prisoner looked up from her diary, her pen stopping in mid-word. "I beg your pardon?"

"Get your things, you're moving," Fenner repeated. "Come on, I haven't got all day."

Still stunned, Barbara stood slowly and began gathering her meagre possessions. Her cellmate, Nikki Wade lifted her head from her book and eyed the guard warily. "What's going on?"

The guard barely acknowledged her as he watched the older woman placing things in her bag. "If it was any of your business, Wade, I would have told you, wouldn't I?" He couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face and conceded the information, because he knew it would be to his benefit and not Wade's. "If you must know, we've got a shortage of cells on Basic, so until things rectify themselves, Barbara here is moving up to Enhanced."

The news got exactly the reaction he had hoped. Practically springing from the lower bunk of her bed and barely missing hitting her head on the metal bar, the lanky frame of Wade stood inches away from Fenner.

"Enhanced? She's going to Enhanced?" Quickly turning to Barbara, she apologized. "Sorry, Barbara, that's not what I meant."

Barbara, who had frozen in place upon hearing the news, could only shake her head and say, "No. No, that's quite all right, Nikki. I'm just as surprised as you are, I assure you."

"I've got a good three years on Barbara," Nikki argued, her attention back to Fenner. "If anyone should be moving up to Enhanced until things are fixed, it's me. I'm not even supposed to be sharing a cell!"

"And if Helen Stewart were still Wing Governor, I'm sure you'd get your way." The way Nikki's nostrils flared at his audacity was a joy for Fenner to behold. He knew the dig about her relationship with the former governor would get a rise out of her. "In the meantime, come on, love," he gestured to Barbara. "Get your things and let's go." As Barbara said her goodbyes to Nikki and walked out, Fenner turned back to Wade. "And I'd consider myself lucky if I were you. Betts gave you enough consideration to not put you in a four cell."

Nikki scrunched up her face in a grimace of fake sincerity. "I'll be sure to thank the governor the next time I see her in the food line."

"You do that," Fenner replied and tossed one more line in her direction before closing the door. "Enjoy your new cellmate."

"Piss off," she mouthed to the thick steel door before flopping back down on her mattress.

 

*-*-*-*

 

"You start in Basic," Dominic told her as they walked down the long corridor, stopping every so often to unlock and lock barred doors. "You'll be put in a two cell -two bunks per cell -and depending on your attitude and your progress, you could move up the wing to Enhanced." He unlocked and locked another door. "That's the top floor of the wing and that's single cell. You get it to yourself as well as more privileges within the prison." He was thorough with his information, but paused in his speech every so often to make sure Olivia understood it all.

"Got it," she told him.

"Good. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask your personal officer once you're given one or you can always ask me."

"You work the G-wing?"

"I do."

"And how's that working out for you?"

He laughed at her directness. "Why don't we focus more on your adjustments here rather than mine?"

Without flourish, he held his hand out in the direction of a drab green door. "This is yours." When Olivia didn't move, he needlessly asked, "You've got everything?"

"What? Oh, yeah, sorry. I just…"

"Is this your first time then?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I won't promise it will get any better, but keep out of trouble and you'll do okay. Come on, I'll do the introductions." He gently guided her to the doorway and leaned into the cell. "Nikki, you've got a new cellmate."

Resting against the hard stone of the cell, arms folded and cigarette dangling from her fingertips, she barely turned from the window to say, "Yeah, Fenner told me the good news."

"Give her a break, Nikki. You never know, you might like her." The guard ignored her snort of disinterest and went ahead with the introductions. "Olivia, that's Nikki Wade. Nikki, this is Olivia Benson." When neither of the two women spoke up, he said, "Right. Well, I'll leave you two to get acquainted."

Nikki Wade. Benson did everything not to swear out loud once she recognized the name. Nikki fucking Wade. Cop killer. Great.

Though McAllister had left, neither woman moved, one because of the unfamiliarity of the situation, the other, because she couldn't have cared less. Several minutes of this silent impasse went by before Nikki decided to give the woman a break. McAllister might be right; maybe she'd like her. Yeah, and she might wake up tomorrow in Windsor Castle. She brought the cigarette up to her lips and turned.

Her lungs held the smoke in longer than normal in order to give her brain time to knock her eyes from their stock-still gaze. Her heart might belong to Helen Stewart, but right now, her body had other ideas. Nikki wasn't the type to love lightly, but Helen had made it clear that it was over, hadn't she? While her heart and her body debated the point, her eyes flicked up and down the long frame of her new cellmate a second time just to make sure. Short dark hair, a jaw line you could cut paper on and lips that were the cause of her staring in the first place. Then, once she got lower than the neck… she barely registered the T-shirt/sweater combination Nikki herself wore on several occasions and went right to wondering if this Olivia got extra time for wearing those pants so tight. As Nikki's eyes went back up to the woman's face, she locked with a pair of eyes that were gloriously deep and brown. Yet there was something behind them- a distance and a scrutiny that made Nikki pause. She had never experienced it before, but she knew that she had been catalogued and categorized by this woman in the time it took to blink.

Finally exhaling the smoke, her acknowledgement came by way of a quip. "Sorry. I've been bunking with the Queen Mum for the last year and a bit. You're a bit of a shock to the system."

Despite her reservations, this got a small laugh out of the cop, who reached forward and extended her hand. "Olivia Benson."

Nikki looked down at the hand and smiled before shaking it. "We're not so much on the formalities here, except with the screws." When she saw Olivia's brow furrow, she realized the woman was trying to decipher what she said. "You're American?" Benson nodded. "Right. 'Screws', it's like another name for the guards, though I wouldn't recommend you call them that to their faces."

"Got it." The plastic bag crinkled in her left hand as she looked around the small room.

Nikki watched her until she realized the problem. "Sorry again. Not thinking. It's been a long time since I had a new cellmate. That cupboard is yours; mine's over there. You can put toiletries at the sink with mine, I don't care. Toilet's in the corner. Top bunk is yours."

Olivia nodded. "Thanks." She walked over to the empty cupboard and slowly began putting away her paltry amount of possessions. Nikki caught the sense of apprehension and tried to put the newcomer at ease.

"I won't tell you you'll get used to it - I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy - but I will tell you it does get easier in a way."

Folding up her bag and putting it in the bottom drawer, Benson stood up and offered a small, but appreciative smile. "Thanks. Again."

"Yeah, well. Listen, I'm going to finish this fag somewhere else; give you some space to figure it all out. Then maybe if you're up to it later, I'll take you around, introduce you to some of the others."

She looked around the room a second time, as if there was more to see. "Yeah. That's probably a good idea."

"Okay then." Nikki stood in the doorway for a moment, wondering if leaving this woman was the best thing to do, but if she was going to get her head together, Benson had to do it herself and there wasn't going to be any better time. "Right. I'll close the door a bit; give you some privacy. God knows you don't get much of that around here." There was one more pause before she said, "Take it easy on yourself, Olivia."

As soon as Nikki left, Benson ran her fingers through her short hair and sighed. Even though she knew Cragen and his counterpart at the Metropolitan Police Service had given her no more than four weeks for their undercover operation, the fact that there was a light at the end of the tunnel for her didn't diminish how quickly her surroundings could change her attitude from one of independence to one of submission. She could see how easy it would be to fall into a trap of depression and lose sight of the future. She wondered how Nikki adjusted to it.

Nikki Wade. Whatever her thoughts might be on why the woman was incarcerated, pictures didn't do her justice, Olivia admitted with a smirk. The fact that she was allowed to wear her own clothes helped, as Benson favoured the look herself, but Wade probably would have made the drab grey jumpsuit of Rikers proud.

'Jesus Christ,' she thought to herself, 'get a grip. It's a prison and you're undercover.'

She was on tiptoes, trying to look out the window when she heard a noise behind her.

"Look at this one, Denny. She's a sight better than Babs, ain't she?"

"Sure is, Shell."

Olivia turned and despite not knowing the younger curly-haired brunette, she recognized the other speaker immediately. Michelle Dockley. Yet another instance of pictures not doing the person justice; for while there were obvious similarities between the blonde in the photos and the blonde standing before her, pictures failed to capture the edge of psychotic tendencies in her eyes. They twinkled with some kind of malevolence, but beyond that, were dead.

"You getting comfortable, Livvy?"

Benson started at her name, not to mention the moniker, but shook it off. "As comfortable as I can in a place like this, I guess."

Denny made a face. "What kind of accent is that?"

"American," Shell told her with an exaggerated flourish in her voice. "Innit?" Seeing Olivia's raised eyebrow, Dockley sighed. "Isn't it?" she enunciated. "Excuse me while I find the clot a dictionary, Christ."

"She just called you an idiot," Denny helpfully told Olivia, who nodded her reply.

Shell rolled her eyes before getting down to business. "So you're in for a bit of possession, are ya, Miss Olivia Benson?" She saw the expression on the American's face and laughed. "The first thing you should get used to is the fact that I run this place. I find out what I want to know, and I get what I want to get. Got it?"

Benson nodded. "Believe me; I don't have anything you'd want."

"Don't you? You're in for possession," she stressed the last word. "Drugs. And you're tellin' me you didn't crutch anything in here?" Any semblance of playfulness she might have had was out of her voice. She stepped closer and the room got deathly quiet. Holding out a hand to her side, Denny stepped forward at the prompt and placed something in it Olivia couldn't quite see, but the glimpse of a sharp end gave her a hint. Something homemade, she was sure, but no less deadly.

"You'd best listen good, Miss America. Either you have something on you that I want, or you can get it for me. And if it means I have to de-crutch you in the shower, then it's all part of business, innit? Either way, I get what I want. So what's it going to be?"

Even in the small room it was difficult to keep an eye on both women, and when Benson took the split second to glance at Denny's position, Shell's hand flashed up, backhanding Olivia's face. A sharp pain burned across her cheek and she realized she was cut. When her palm came up to her face, she noticed Dockley's hand coming around again and Benson wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. As Shell's right hand approached, Olivia slid her left arm inside, gripping the blonde's forearm and pulling the lifer's nose right into Olivia's forehead. Dockley dropped the homemade shiv and reeled back, her lips moving to say something, but the shock only allowing a small squeak to escape. The only eyes wider in the place than Shell's were Denny's, who stood frozen in her spot. Benson reached over the blonde's right shoulder and grabbed a handful of hair. Pulling it down, she forced Shell onto her knees and picked up the shiv, which was nothing more than a plastic spoon handle, the ladle end broken and pointed. She leaned forward and pressed the tip against Dockley's throat. This snapped Denny out of her stupor and she stepped forward.

Olivia's head jerked up and stopped Denny in her tracks. "What's your name? Denny?" The younger woman nodded. "Denny, you look like a good kid. Just stay there, okay?" Denny nodded again and didn't move. "Now, Shell, I don't know how much damage this can do, but my cheek hurts like a son of a bitch, and I've been working out lately, so with just the right amount of force, who knows? Ever hear the expression 'born with a silver spoon in your mouth'? How would you like to die with one sticking out of your fucking throat?" Still out of breath, Dockley could only shake her head. "That's what I thought. Now, I listened to your business proposal and only understood half of it. Doesn't matter, because I have a proposal of my own. When it comes to drugs in this place, you're going to get them for me." Shell's eyes went wider. "I don't care what shit you've got on the side, but what I want, I get. Understand?"

At long last getting her lungs to work, Shell whimpered, "I can't help you. I've got nothing. I get it from other prisoners, I swear."

"That's not what I heard." Benson was please to see the confusion cross the blonde's face. "You're not the only one who finds out what they want to know. You've got someone on the outside feeding you drugs. We'll start there."

"But, but, I can't just call him out of nowhere; these things take time."

"Shell, you've gone from telling me you've got nothing to admitting you've got someone on the outside. I suppose that's a start for a compulsive liar." She pressed the shiv harder into the soft white flesh. "Shell Dockley gets what she wants. As long as it's what I want, we'll have no problems, understand?" She let go of Shell's hair and jerked her head back roughly. "And the next person who calls me 'Miss America' gets my foot up their ass. Does that translate?"

Nikki chose that moment to return to the cell.

Looking at the tableau before her, with Shell on her knees and a trickle of blood coming out of her nose, Olivia with a shiv in her hand, and Denny looking like she had shit herself, Nikki asked the only thing that seemed appropriate. "What the hell's going on here?"

Shell quickly stood up and brushed her knees. A hand came up to fix her hair and shaky fingers went to her throat. Choosing not to answer the question, she turned to Denny and said, "Let's go. We've got better things to do, don't we, Denny?" When the girl didn't respond, she repeated it louder, "Don't we, Denny?"

"What? Oh, yeah, right, Shell."

As soon as they were out of the cell, Denny looked at her friend and asked, "What did she mean about being born with a spoon in your mouth?"

"Shut it, Denny. Jesus."

"Looks like you're left holding the bag… and the shiv. Which, if you don't mind a piece of advice, I suggest you get rid of as soon as you can. The screws catch you with that and it'll be down the Block for you." Benson tilted her head. "Toss it out the window," Nikki suggested.

"Right, thanks." Olivia stood on the frame of the bottom bunk to see if there was anyone below before she dropped the homemade weapon. It was the little jolt that went up through the sole of her right foot when she hit the floor again that reminded her of the pain in her cheek. "Shit," she muttered as she peered into the small mirror on the wall. Picking up her small towel, she wet it under the tap and pressed it against her face.

The remnants of violence lingered like a mist and Nikki attempted to wipe it away with humour . "You know, for a second, I thought Dockley was going to give you an Aussie kiss." A look she was already recognizing crossed Olivia's face. "Aussie kiss. Like a French kiss, but down un… never mind."

Olivia's eyes narrowed until the pieces fell together. Pulling the towel away from her face, her mouth opened as the realization hit. "Right," she said with a small smile, "since you seem to be my resident translator, what does 'de-crutch' mean?"

Nikki's face darkened. "Is that what that psychopath said to you?"

"She mentioned it, yeah."

Sighing, she explained, "Crutching is a way of hiding drugs in an orifice that isn't your mouth, ears, nose or arse hole. I'll leave you to figure out what de-crutching means."

It didn't take Olivia long. "Jesus!"

"So, whatever the American equivalent is, did you do it?"

"Do what? Crutch drugs into the prison?"

"Yeah."

"No!" She saw the flicker of doubt cross Wade's face, so she repeated it. "Believe me, I didn't bring any drugs in."

Seemingly satisfied with the answer, Nikki sat down on the bed and asked, "So what are you in for?"

Although she knew the answer, she volleyed the question back. "What are you in for?"

Nikki held up her hands. "Point taken. Sorry I asked."

She took another look at her cheek and, satisfied it had stopped bleeding, folded the towel and draped in on the edge of the sink. "Possession," Olivia stated simply, figuring she might as well come clean, or at least as clean as her cover allowed.

"What?" Wade asked, then realized she heard right. "Christ, a smack head. That's great."

"It's not like that."

"Then what is it like? No, wait," she stopped, her hand held up again, "I don't care."

"Marijuana."

"What?"

"Marijuana," Olivia repeated. "Weed, pot, grass, Mary Jane -"

"-ganja stick, yeah, I got it, thanks," Nikki interrupted, though a ghost of a smile shadowed across her face.

When she said nothing more, Benson took it as her cue to continue. "I bought some here, went to a few parties, had a good time, forgot it was in my coat pocket when I tried to get through security at Heathrow."

Nikki frowned. "It's unusual you'd get time, though, isn't it? Most possession charges let you off with a fine and a warning."

Shrugging, Olivia replied, "Who knows? Maybe they thought they'd make an example out of me."

"Because you're a Yank."

"That's what my lawyer thinks. He's working my appeal through the US Embassy now."

"Well, that explains Dockley's interest in you."

"I take it she's the drug maven around here."

"Yeah, among other things."

Benson rubbed a finger across the top of her brow, as she tried to put the pieces together. "I wonder how she knew. I mean, she even knew my name."

"She's in with one of the screws."

"Not that McAllister guy."

Nikki shook her head. "No, despite whatever rough patches we've had, McAllister's one of the better ones around here. It's Fenner you've got to watch. He's as bent as a bottle of chips."

"I'm sure that's as bad as it sounds," she smirked.

"Yes, it is," Nikki replied, giving a smirk of her own. More seriously, she said, "It's good that you settled things with Dockley straight away. Just watch your step with her, all right? She's not in here because of a traffic violation."

"Okay." Benson bit the inside of her lip as she mentally weighed scales in her head. On the one hand, she knew this woman to be a cop killer, and her professional instinct was to be on guard. However, she also knew that the text in a file rarely ever told the whole story, and her personal instinct was to trust this woman. In the very least, she'd have someone on the inside watching her back, even if the woman didn't realize it.

Her gaze must have lingered too long on the floor, because Nikki said, "I can almost see the wheels turning."

Olivia looked up. "Sorry. I was just trying to figure out who I can trust in here and who I can't," she replied truthfully.

Nikki's expression hardened to stone. "Yeah, well, I'm no saint, but I'm not Dockley, either."

"No one's a saint, or we wouldn't be here."

"You've got me there."

Olivia didn't bother flipping the coin in her mind. She had already made up her mind, and would stick to it regardless of the risk. "By the way, thanks for everything; I appreciate it."

Nikki paused as if to question how Olivia came to her decision, but instead chose to let it pass. Deflecting the compliment, she said, "I haven't done anything. Besides, I saw what you did to Dockley. I wouldn't want to get on your bad side."

As she was beginning to recognize, there was often a spark in the eyes of Nikki that would completely undermine the feigned seriousness of her tone, and this was no exception. Benson returned the favour. "I meant it about that Miss America bullshit."

"Absolutely." Standing up and barely covering her grin, Nikki asked, "You up for having a look around?"

"No time like the present, I guess."

Nikki held the door open and said, "After you. Miss."

"Knock it off," Olivia threw over her shoulder as she walked out, with Nikki trailing behind with a smile.

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Let's go upstairs," Wade directed. As they ascended the steel grill steps, a few heads turned, but most went about their business. "We've got a fairly diverse population here," she explained. "A lot of women are on their first year, a bigger middle portion of women are near the end of their sentence, and there are a handful of lifers. We get old faces leaving and new ones coming in to take their place every day." When they reached the second level, Nikki gestured for Olivia to keep going. "I take it McAllister gave you the basic setup of the place?"

"Yeah."

"So you know you're in Basic. It's for all sorts of prisoners. New ones, unruly ones, and sometimes, it's just about space. Second level is General. Pretty much the same as Basic, but more settled and an extra privilege or two. This is third level," she said as they arrived at the top. "Also known as Enhanced. All cells are singles, you get more - visiting orders - a few more quid and a nicer duvet."

"And it's okay for us to be up here?"

"Oh yeah. There's not much that's off-limits that isn't clearly marked." She pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her pocket and offered one to Olivia.

"No, thanks. I don't smoke."

Nikki's eyebrows rose. "What did you do, eat the grass?"

Olivia realized her slight misstep and quickly fabricated a response. "My lungs could never handle the cigarette smoke, if you can believe it. Too strong. Besides, those things will kill you."

"Yeah, well," Nikki drawled as she lit her smoke, "fags never got anyone prison time."

"Touché."

"Anyway, I suppose one vice is bad enough."

"Oh, I've got more than one," Olivia quipped, "cigarettes just aren't one of them."

"Touché indeed."

They spent several minutes in silence, each leaning against the railing, looking over and down to the mass below. Olivia watched women playing pool, having a cigarette, chatting in groups or just walking around. She wondered how long it took them to get used to the life.

Nikki was wondering what the woman beside her was thinking.

"You look deep in thought."

Dragging herself out of her thoughts, Benson glanced over at Nikki. "Hmmm? Oh, I was just thinking about the different coping skills people must have here."

"Ah, now you sound like a head doctor." When Olivia didn't say anything in reply, the cigarette dangled from Wade's lips. "You're not, are you?"

Although they hadn't worked her cover story in that much detail outside the drug angle, Benson figured she had heard Huang drone on enough times to be able to fake it. The closer it was to the truth, or at least her experiences, the easier it would be to remember it.

Nikki's eyes widened. "You are! You're a head inspector."

"Psychologist, thanks."

"Christ, I suppose I should watch what I say then."

"Don't." Benson looked right into Nikki's eyes. "Don't, please. I'm not going to analyse you, I promise."

"I hope not," she replied, "I couldn't afford you." They both looked below them again. "Well the good news is, this must be like Shrink Paradise for you."

"I'm sure there are a couple of books waiting to be written."

"Though I have to say, Olivia, you're the first head doctor I've known who could kick ass."

Benson laughed. "You know a lot of head doctors?"

"Besides you, no. Got me there."

"Single woman, living in New York. I took self-defence classes," Olivia explained.

The Brit nodded. "Makes sense."

"You ever been to New York?"

"I've never been anywhere." She took another drag of her cigarette before putting it out on the bottom of her shoe. "I'd love to go to San Francisco some day. You ever been?"

"One summer when I was in college. Best two months of my life."

Nikki sighed wistfully. "I'd love to go one day."

"Maybe you will."

"Yeah, well, right now, only in my dreams."

Olivia turned around and leaned back on the railing, her elbow resting on the steel bar. "So which are you?" Seeing her questioning look, Benson clarified. "You said a lot of women are on their first year, a bigger middle portion of women are near the end of their sentence, and there are a handful of lifers. Which are you?"

"Christ, you memorize everything I say?"

"Part of the job description," Olivia replied truthfully.

"Yeah, I suppose it is." Suddenly, Nikki wished she hadn't put that cigarette out so soon. Every time she felt on the spot, she got fidgety and never knew what to do with her hands. In an attempt to cover her restlessness, she draped her arms over the railing and clasped her hands together.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have -"

"Lifer," Nikki cut her off.

Though Olivia already knew the answer, she gave it appropriate pause before asking another. "How long have you been here?"

Wade looked at the American curiously. "You didn't ask me what I'm in for."

Benson shrugged. "Does it matter?" Tilting her head in the direction of the women below, she continued, "Drugs, theft, homicide, prostitution; we all get treated the same, don't we? Prison has a way of levelling the playing field." She had Nikki's rapt attention. "I don't think how we got in here is as important as what we do while we're in here and what we're going to do when we get out."

"That's very insightful, Dr. Benson."

Olivia scowled in feigned disapproval. "You're right, you can't afford me." The humour lingered between them, and then she said, "I mean it. I've seen too many people go through the system only to come out and re-offend two months later. It's a vicious cycle." It was an admission the cop felt comfortable in making, knowing her doctor ruse could cover it.

"Yeah, well, a day in this shit hole should knock sense into anyone," Nikki replied softly. "Once I'm out of here, that's it." She glanced around the wing and grimaced. "Only another 10 years, if I'm lucky." Not looking back, she started descending the stairs. "Come on, it's almost lunch. I'll make the introductions."

"As you no doubt noticed, you're responsible for your own dishware. One cup, one plate, one bowl, et cetera bloody et cetera. You lose it or break it or try to turn one into a weapon or crack spoon, it comes out of your weekly wage. And, as mentioned, the weapon will get you thrown into the Block, as will the crack spoon. Solitary, basically." Nikki gathered her things and looked at Olivia. "Got all that?"

"Cup, plate, responsible, crack, block, bloody et cetera."

Nikki came to a full stop in the doorway. "Are you taking the piss?" she asked incredulously.

The corner of Olivia's mouth twitched in amusement. "If it's what I think it is, yes."

"Bloody cheek! Not here four hours and already taking the piss. Come on then, Dr. Benson."

Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

As they stood in line, Olivia got a chance to get a closer look at the women sharing the prison with her. They seemed to be comprised of all ages, some looking as young as eighteen, others approaching and passing middle age. Her initial instinct was to try and figure which ones were in for what crime, but out of context - out of the familiarity of her own comfort zone as a cop - it was harder than it looked.

"I hope you have enough paper and pens for all the books you're going to write in here," Nikki leaned in and whispered slyly.

Olivia gave her a sideways look and shook her head. "I wasn't analysing anyone," she whispered in return.

"Of course you weren't."

"Next!" came the call from the serving counter.

Olivia stepped up and came face to face with Shell Dockley, who startled upon seeing Benson.

"Careful she doesn't spit in your food," Nikki warned.

The blonde sneered. "Shut it, Wade."

"That won't be necessary," Olivia stated coldly. Dockley saw the look and decided to take her own advice. Benson looked down at the selection of food, which comprised of two choices that both looked to be about the same mash of ingredients. Pointing at the first option, Olivia said, "I'll have some of that."

Dockley all but slammed it onto the plate and turned to Nikki. "What do you want?"

Benson coughed and got Shell's attention. "I think I'll have a bit more."

Shell made a condescending face and replied, "Well, you only get what you're allowed, and that's all you're allowed."

Benson leaned forward ever so slightly and repeated, "I think I'll have a bit more." It only took Dockley a fraction of a second to make up her mind. With a slight tremble in her hand, she scooped up a spoonful of the mash and put it on Olivia's plate.

Wade could barely suppress her laugh. She pointed at the same concoction Olivia chose. "I'll have that." The slop hit her plate with a loud thud and she moved on, but not before scrunching up her nose and asking, "What's that awful smell? It smells like someone shit themselves."

Dockley's reply of "Bitch" was loud enough for the line to hear, but the two women didn't bother to turn around and instead walked over to a table on the far side of the room. Nikki slid into a seat and Olivia followed suit.

"Who's your new friend?" one of the women already at the table asked.

"This is Olivia. She's from America." Nikki imparted the last bit of information with an exaggerated tone of awe.

"Ooooh!" the women replied in kind.

Putting a hand on Olivia's shoulder and putting her at ease, Nikki said, "Yvonne Atkins, this is Olivia Benson. And the lovely woman across from you is Barbara Hunt, as of today, my ex-cellmate."

"Nice to meet you," Benson said.

"Yeah," Yvonne snorted, "it's a regular Sunday social club."

"Well, it is nice to meet you, Olivia," Barbara said.

"Thanks."

Two women who appeared to be attached at the hip approached the table.

"Nikki, who's your new friend?" the shorter one asked.

"This is Olivia."

"Well, hello Olivia…"

"… nice to meet you," the other finished.

"Olivia," Nikki informed, "the tall one there would be Julie Johnston. And the other one's Julie Saunders. To keep things simple, we just call them…"

"The two Julies," they said in unison.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to that," Nikki replied.

Yvonne scoffed. "Christ, I haven't."

"So, Olivia," Julie S ventured, "me an' Jules usually try and figure out what the new girls are in for, you know, for a bit of a laugh. We've gotten pretty good over the last few years, haven't we, Jules?"

"We have."

"So Jules decided, after overhearing your conversation there with Shell Dockley, completely by accident, mind, that it's some kind of assault? You look like you can take care of yourself…"

"… and maybe someone tried to pull one on you?" Julie J chimed in.

"Now me, knowing the business as I do…"

"… as you do…"

"I was thinking more along the lines of prostitution."

Olivia's eyes doubled in size.

Julie S held out her hands. "Now don't take that the wrong way, Liv," she apologized. "Alls I'm sayin' is, you've got a body that I can imagine would be of some use to you, if you get my meaning."

"I think we all do, Jules, thank you," Nikki said.

The two Julies brushed aside her reply and looked at Olivia.

"So if it isn't too much to ask…"

"…what are you in for?"

Benson took note of the reactions around the table. Barbara very politely continued to eat her meal, though Olivia could tell she was paying acute attention. Yvonne was leaning in, her curiosity obvious and overt. Nikki, already knowing the answer also continued eating, only half-listening to Olivia's response.

"You really want to know?" All interested parties nodded their heads. "Well, it started because I came home early from work one day and found my husband in bed with the mailman."

Nikki coughed so hard that Yvonne looked over in concern. "Oi. You okay there?"

Hitting her chest to clear the airway, Nikki nodded and took a drink. "I'm fine."

"Anyway," Benson continued, "as I stood in the doorway of the bedroom with the meat cleaver in my hand, I played the 'Either/Or' game." She saw the puzzlement on the faces of her audience, so she clarified, "The 'Either/Or' game. Either him or him. Either the man I've been married to for five years who is banging the mailman, or the mailman who leaves my packages out on the doorstep in the rain."

"How did you decide?" Julie J asked breathlessly.

Olivia shrugged. "I didn't. The mailman decided for me. He called out 'Oh, God!' and my asshole of a husband said, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah!' The mailman said, 'No, no, no! I mean, oh God, your wife!' By the time I lunged at them, the mailman was out the bedroom window. Lucky for him, it wasn't a two-storey house."

Nikki pressed her lips together to hold in the laugh, but Yvonne had no such qualms. With a full laugh, she swore, "Bastard!"

Julie S bit her finger. "What happened to your husband?"

"We got into a huge knock-down-drag-out fight," she sighed. "I substituted the sharp cutting pleasure of the cleaver with the satisfaction of hitting him with my fists."

"I told you she could take care of herself," Julie J said to her friend.

"Next thing I know, he's on the floor, bleeding from the head. Cracked his temple on the corner of the dresser he bought me for an anniversary gift. So here I am. Manslaughter. The end."

"Christ," the two Julies whispered in tandem.

"Bastard had it coming to him," Yvonne pronounced. "And you're only in here because bloody men stick up for their own kind. No woman judge would give that kind of sentence. Bastards."

Before she could respond, out of the corner of her eye, Olivia saw a small brunette inching her way towards the table. Yvonne was the first to say something.

"What are you doing skulking around, Denny? Speak up."

Denny stepped forward and fidgeted for a few seconds before glancing down at Olivia and managing, "I was wondering if I could talk to you."

"Sure."

"I mean, somewhere private."

Olivia looked around the table, then back at Denny. "You can say whatever you want to me here, don't worry."

Twisting a strand of hair around her finger, she shifted from one foot to the other, unsure of the situation.

"Oh, for God's sake, spit it out, Denny," Yvonne ordered.

"I was just… I mean, about earlier. We're okay you and me, yeah?"

Olivia nodded her understanding. "Denny, what's passed is past. I don't hold grudges. But you need to take stock of your life and your friends and figure out what's best for you. I wasn't lying back there; you look like a good kid, Denny. Get your shit together."

Denny gave a shy smile. "You're all right, Olivia. Thanks."

When the young girl left, Nikki tapped her forehead and whispered conspiratorially, "She's a head inspector."

"Really?" Barbara asked.

Yvonne frowned. "What? You mean a shrink?"

"One and the same."

"You going to get us all to confess about pissing our beds when we was kids?"

Benson laughed. "There are some things I don't need to know about the women I'm stuck in prison with."

A ripple of laughter went around the table.

"Listen, Liv, it was good to meet you, but…"

"… we've got to get back to work or…"

"Bodybag will have our tits!"

As the two Julies walked away, Olivia admitted, "I'm getting used to only understanding half of what anyone says around here."

After another round of laughter faded away, Yvonne tilted her head and asked, "What

was all that about with Denny?"

Nikki jerked her thumb in Olivia's direction. "She doesn't like to be called 'Miss America'."

Benson gave her a gentle kick under the table. "I had a run-in with her and Shell Dockley earlier today in my cell. After this little accident," she pointed to the cut on her cheek, "we all came to the agreement that Shell would do her thing and I would do mine."

"Yeah," Wade crowed, "the agreement being, she'd kick Dockley's arse if she tried her shit on Olivia again."

"Really?" Barbara said in amazement.

"You need to get some more words in your vocabulary, Barbara, honestly," Nikki quipped.

"Well, good for you," Yvonne praised. "I think you and I will get along just fine. Besides," she slyly glanced at Nikki, "any friend of Nikki's is a friend of mine."

"Ow!" Barbara exclaimed as she felt a foot sharply connect with her shin.

"Sorry, Babs," Nikki apologized.

Yvonne grinned knowingly and stood up. "Nature calls, my ladies. I'm sure I'll see you all later."

They finished lunch and Barbara went off to do some writing, leaving the two new cellmates alone. Nikki suggested they clean up and, as they washed up in the small cell, she asked, "Why did you tell the two Julies you were in for manslaughter?"

Benson shrugged. "I don't know. It looked to me like they could use a good story to add a bit of flavour to their day. Seemed more interesting than telling them I got busted for possession of weed." Nikki conceded the point with a nod. "So how do you pass the days in here?"

Nikki dried her plate and gave the question some thought. "Well, there's karaoke on Fridays." She pretended not to see Olivia's 'we are not amused' expression. "No? Maybe the library's more your thing. There's a small one here; not much of a selection, but it helps me get through the boredom sometimes. You've seen the pool table. Some of the girls play for phone cards or fags, but don't let the screws catch you doing it. There are university courses you can take, though you've obviously been down that road. And rumour has it, there's a gym around here."

"Not the physically active type?"

Wade pursed her lips in amusement. "Not the gym type." The quip got her an eye roll. "I spend a lot of time in the potting shed." She realized the suggestiveness of the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. "Potting, I mean. Plants and flowers and the like. Not really your thing though, is it?"

"Never had much time," Olivia confessed. "The closest to green I got was a walk through Central Park."

"Well, you can always join me if you want. I mean, obviously, you don't have to follow me around every minute of the day; I just thought on your first day, you might want to get the ins and outs of the place."

Olivia smiled. She was glad the cop in her was on the alert even when she wasn't, because Wade made it almost easy to forget where she was and why. "And here I was worried I was being a pain in the ass by tagging along everywhere you went."

"No, no," Nikki assured her, "not at all. I reserve the right to change my mind if I find you behind me in the loo, but right now, you're all right, Liv." She noticed the reaction the moniker got. "It is okay to call you that isn't it? Julie S used it earlier, so I thought-"

"It's okay," Benson said gently. "It's just something only friends call me, so it's a bit jarring to hear it in here." Before the lifer could get the wrong impression, Olivia added, "I consider you a friend, Nikki." She was pleased to see the blush of thanks stain the other woman's cheeks. "And who couldn't like the two Julies?"

"No one."

"Exactly."

"Okay, but just so you know, no one calls me 'Nicola'."

Olivia's face was a mask of innocence. "Oh, really?"

"Shit," Nikki groaned, "I'm going to be sorry I mentioned it, aren't I?"

 

*-*-*-*

 

"This is a spade, this is a pot, and this is dirt."

Olivia crossed her arms and bit her lip. "Damn, I should have brought a pad of paper to take notes!"

"Very funny," Nikki replied. "I'm just starting with the basics since I don't know how knowledgeable you are."

"Sorry, Ms. Wade. Teach me more."

"Cheek. Here, fill these pots up about halfway. We'll put some flowers in, then fill it up the rest of the way."

A good half hour passed with neither woman speaking. Instead, they worked side by side in tandem, doing their task in an easy-going silence. They worked closely together, and, every so often, their hands or arms or bodies would brush against the other, though neither of them took notice. Olivia found an unusual comfort in standing beside the tall woman. It surprised her, all things considered. Warming up to someone who killed a cop wasn't something she thought she'd ever do. The wall of blue was a strong one, and yet… she couldn't quite pinpoint why, but she knew she was a fair judge of character, and, that in the short time she got to know Nikki, she could trust this woman. That was a welcome feeling on any given day, but considering the circumstances and situation, it was invaluable.

Olivia was the first to break the silence. "I can see why you enjoy this."

"Why's that, then?"

"It's very comforting," Benson remarked. "The solitude and the sense of creating something. These are beautiful," she said as she lifted one of the small potted flowers. "I bet beauty's a commodity you don't get much around here."

Nikki's eyes flicked over Olivia from head to toe and back. "Oh, I don't know about that."

Benson couldn't help but laugh at the overt come-on. "If these walls could talk, I bet it would be a much more interesting book than the one I have in mind."

"I don't know what you mean," she replied innocently, though her wily grin betrayed her.

"Yeah, I bet you don't."

Nikki glanced down at her watch. "Shit, I'm going to be late. I've got a class to get to. Are you going to be okay on your own?"

"Of course," Benson told her. "You don't have to baby-sit me 24/7. I can take care of myself."

"As I've seen."

"Get going. I'll straighten up things here."

"Okay, thanks. I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Unless I figure out a way to teleport out of here, yeah."

"Don't give the walls anything more to talk about while I'm gone."

"Go!"

With Nikki gone, Olivia cleaned up, then leaned back to look at her handiwork. The flowers really were beautiful. She'd have to make it a point of joining Nikki out here on a regular basis. Looking around the shed, she laughed out loud at her thoughts. 'Business, Benson, business. Jesus.' She reached into her back pockets and pulled out a plastic card. She decided it was time to try and find a phone.

"Stabler."

"Elliot, it's me."

"Hey, how's life in the big house?" her partner asked over the phone line.

"Well, it's not Riker's, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Made contact with Michelle Dockley."

"That was fast."

"Yeah, well, she found me."

"That doesn't sound good." When he got nothing in return but a grunt, he got right to the point. "What've you got?"

Benson looked around to make sure she couldn't be overheard. "Not much, but it's a start. I'm going to let it sit for a couple of days before I make my next move."

"The captain only signed you off for four weeks."

She nodded even though he couldn't see it. "I know, but I don't want to force it."

"Makes sense," he agreed. "How're you doing?"

She smiled. Even across the ocean, he was watching her back. It was one of the things she valued the most about him. "I'm okay. Met a few of the women who are friendly enough."

"Get propositioned yet?"

"Elliot!" she exclaimed.

"What?" he laughed. "You're hot. You're in a women's prison where there must be a handful of other hot women. Two plus two is-"

"-your fantasy life gone out of control," she finished. His laughter was infectious, and she couldn't help but join in. "Besides, I've only been here half a day."

"You're losing your touch, Liv."

"Very funny."

The laughter faded and he asked, "You're okay though, right?"

"I'm fine, Elliot," she reassured him. "Really. Not my idea of a vacation hotspot, but I'm figuring things out."

"What's your cellmate like?"

Olivia knew her answer would raise his eyebrows. They had both looked over the files of more than a dozen of the prisoners before Benson's arrival. Wade was one of them.

"She's good. She's really been helpful."

"Yeah?"

"It's Nikki Wade."

She waited for the other shoe to drop and at long last, Stabler said, "The cop killer?"

"El…"

"Sorry," he cut in. "You're right, I read the file, too. It's just hard not to stand up for one of our own, even if the cop was an asshole. How are you two getting along?" Her soft chuckle rolled down the line and he said, "I see. And here I thought you were losing your touch."

"I've got to go; there's someone waiting to use the phone."

He laughed again. "I bet there is. Call me tomorrow."

"I won't be doing anything about Dockley for another couple of days."

"Doesn't matter," he told her. "I just want to make sure you're all right." Just as she was beginning to appreciate his concern, he added, "Besides, my fantasy life could use some fresh material."

"There must be something wrong with the connection," she growled, "because I couldn't have heard that right. Ass." She hung up with the sound of his laughter still ringing in her ears.

She looked around and wondered what to do next. In prison, she knew you had nothing but time, but she was just beginning to realize what it was like to have it drag. Back in New York, whether on the job or a day off, there always seemed to be something to do, from chasing perps to running errands across town. There was never a moment without sound, but, she imagined the nights here would be so quiet, she'd be able to hear the time tick away. Glancing at her watch, she realized she only had another six hours before she found out first hand.

She could find this alleged gym Nikki spoke of, she thought, but decided to leave it as something to look forward to tomorrow. And after thinking about the silence she had to look forward to later on, she wasn't quite up to checking out the library just yet, either. A cheer went up from a girl over at the pool table, which drew Benson's attention. With a wry smile, she made her way over.

"Hiya," a young girl with short spiky blonde hair greeted. "I'm Shaz."

"Hey," Benson answered in return. "Olivia."

"Nice to meet ya, Olivia." She gestured to the table with a tilt of her head. "I can't find anyone who wants to play, on account I win too much. You look like you might be a bit of a challenge. Wanna play?"

Even if she had never played in her life, she couldn't have avoided being lured in by the easy-going nature of the girl. "Sure."

Shaz caught her looking around and told her, "We have to share the stick. Screws are worried we're going to bash each other over the head or something."

"So only one person getting bashed over the head is considered better than two?"

The blonde grinned and shrugged. "I 'spose so. You wanna rack them?"

"Sure."

"Rules are like this," Shaz detailed. "Straight 8-ball. One fag for the win, and a fag if you scratch on the 8 ball. Easy, yeah?"

"Yeah." Benson bent down at the far end of the table and gathered the balls. Once they were all on the slate surface, she formed a triangle with her arms and the bank of the table, and in one fluid motion, rolled the balls to the spot. Placing her hands firmly on two of the corners, she made a perfect triangle of balls.

Denny watched the technique from her spot at a nearby table and hooted. "You've reeled in a shark, Shaz! Don't smoke those fags just yet!"

Olivia lifted her eyes from the table and glanced at the young girl who was leaning on the cue stick and gaping. With a wink, Benson said, "Break."

 

*-*-*-*

 

An hour later, 7 wins and two scratches born of frustration from Shaz, Olivia placed the stick on the table and held out her hand. "Pay up, kiddo."

"Where did ya learn to play like that?" Shaz asked grudgingly as she counted out the cigarettes.

"I got to know a guy back home by the name of Lenny." Remembering Briscoe, a wistful smile crossed her face.

"Yeah, well… you think you could teach me?"

Olivia laughed. "I'm sure I could find the time." She closed her hands around the cigarettes without a glance. This got her a wide-eyed look from Shaz.

"You're not gonna count them?"

"Why? Can't you count?"

"Sure I can."

"You going to cheat me?"

"Hell, no."

"Then I don't need to count them, do I?"

Denny smiled. "I told you she was all right, Shaz. What'd I say?"

"She did say that," the blonde said.

"Be here same time tomorrow, Shaz. You've got talent, but you need work on your style." She dropped four cigarettes on Denny's table. "I don't even smoke," she revealed, before walking away.

Nikki entered the cell to see Olivia sitting in the corner, her legs bent up in a lotus position, and her hands loosely on her thighs. A quip tickled the end of her tongue, but Nikki thought better of it. Quietly stepping, she got halfway across the room before Benson spoke.

"Don't bother."

"Sorry," Nikki said. "Didn't want to disturb you."

"You weren't. I wasn't really meditating."

Wade took in the scene again, her eyes slightly narrowing as if scrutinizing the situation more closely. "So you're just sitting like that because the chair's too hard?"

Olivia slowly unfolded her long limbs and stood up. "Oh," she grimaced and stretched. "I never had the chance to meditate in New York. Some of my patients swear by it, so I thought I'd try it." In truth, it was Alex Cabot who praised the benefits to high heaven.

"Considering you're not treating them for a sore tooth, I'd question taking the advice of your patients, but that's just me."

"You might have a point there."

Motioning over to the corner, Nikki asked, "So, did you find that was working?"

"The meditating? Not a bit. You know, I always had so much going on on the outside that I never had time to think. And now that I'm here, I'm finding I don't have much to think about."

"Really?" They both sat at the small table. "I found it quite the opposite." Off Olivia's questioning gaze, Nikki clarified, "Out there, I did a lot of living day to day; didn't think too much about my past or my future, quite frankly. Now, it's all I do. Things I would have done differently. Things I want to do. Things I may never get to do." There was a short moment of quiet, then Nikki said, "I'd try that meditation thing if I thought I could origami my legs like that."

Not for the first time that day, Benson admired the woman sitting across the table. Figuring a change of subject was in order, Olivia looked at the spiral notebook Nikki had brought into the cell. "What course are you taking?"

"English. Through the Open University."

"Ah," Benson replied as she pointed around the cell, "that explains the books. Bit of a bookworm?"

Nikki shrugged. "Well I figure I'll never write one, so I might as well read them."

Olivia raised an eyebrow as a thought occurred to her. "I thought you weren't allowed books. I'm sure these aren't all from the library."

Caught, the lifer sheepishly remarked, "Yeah, well, if the screws wrote us up for every infraction, they'd be doing paperwork all day. And God forbid they do any real work around here. Speaking of which, what have you been doing all day?"

"Oh, right," Benson remembered. Walking over to her bunk, she lifted up her pillow and grabbed the small items that were hidden. She tossed five cigarettes on the table. "I've been out earning what would constitute as a living around here, I guess." Now it was Nikki's turn to look puzzled. "I played some pool today," Olivia explained. "Won those. You might as well have them. Consider it a down payment for putting up with me."

Nikki's expression changed from puzzled to amazed. "You won these playing pool?"

"Well, those and the four others I gave away to Denny."

"These are like gold round here, you know that, don't you?" When Olivia brushed the comment aside, Wade asked, "Is there anything you're not good at?"

"Skiing. I can't ski worth shit."

Shaking her head, Nikki promised, "Well then, I'll be sure to keep you away from the Larkhall Alps."

Hollamby chose that moment to announce her presence at the door with an exaggerated cough. "They're serving tea. You'd best get down there while the food's still hot. Come on, get going!"

"You're all charm, Sylvia, really," Nikki complimented facetiously.

The guard sniffed. "That's Miss Hollamby to you, thank you!"

"Let's go, Liv," Nikki said. "We wouldn't want to miss the Chef's Surprise."

 

*-*-*-*

 

Even with Olivia, Nikki, Barbara and Yvonne sitting and contemplating at the same table they shared at lunch, no one could figure out what the surprise was, as they pushed the indefinable food source around their plates.

"The first thing I'm doing when I get out of this shit hole is having an enormous plate of chips and a bottle of champagne, I swear to Christ," Yvonne muttered, lifting her fork, inspecting the sample, then dropping it back on her plate.

Nikki leaned back and closed her eyes. "I'd kill for a good curry." Realizing the implication of her words, she opened her eyes and held up her hands. "Figuratively speaking, of course." The women around the table chuckled. Turning her attention to Barbara, she asked, "How 'bout you, Babs? Anything special on the menu once you get out?"

The older woman looked up and offered a small but genuine smile. "I always used to make shepherd's pie for Peter. It was his favourite. I'd like to have that again. And a nice cup of hot tea."

"Yeah," Yvonne agreed, "not like this shit they try and pass off in here. And how 'bout you, Liv? Think you'll miss anything?"

Olivia shook her head. "If all goes well, I won't be in here long enough to miss anything." She looked down at her plate and couldn't disguise her disgust. "But I'll tell ya, I wouldn't turn down a New York hotdog right now.

"How has your first day been, Olivia?" Barbara asked.

The cop leaned back in a pose that mirrored Nikki's and shrugged. "Sobering, shitty, frightening and like I had a glass of cold water thrown in my face," she admitted. The group nodded as one, only all too familiar with the feeling. "But I guess not as bad as it could have been."

"Yeah, you got a good cellmate there," Yvonne said mischievously and tilted her chin in Nikki's direction.

"And not to take advantage of someone else's misfortune, but I've got a cell all to myself," Barbara beamed.

Nikki wagged her finger between the two women. "And these were all I could come up with for best mates," she told Olivia.

Yvonne's eyebrows went up and she smiled broadly. "Cheek!"

*-*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

The banging and shouts echoed throughout the stone and metal prison, signalling lock-up for the night. Accustomed to the routine, Nikki blithely stripped down and tossed a thin strapped nightgown over her head, then walked over to the sink to brush her teeth. She didn't once look over at Olivia, in hopes the American would simply see it as a routine and not over-think her first night in Larkhall. It must have worked to some degree, because it only took a few minutes before Benson turned her back slightly and stripped down to her panties, before covering up again with a T-shirt and cotton shorts. It was only when she tore her eyes away from the lithe body of her new cellmate that Nikki realized toothpaste had dropped from her open mouth to the front of her nightgown.

"Shit," she muttered.

Olivia turned. "What?"

"Nothing," Nikki smiled. She wiped away the paste and rinsed her mouth. Stepping back, she motioned to the sink. "All yours," she stated, mentally chastising herself for the clumsy segue.

If Benson found it clumsy, she didn't say, as she made her way to the sink. Wade fiddled with some of the items on the small dresser before turning back to the newcomer. Figuring it was best to face the awkwardness head on rather than ignoring it, Nikki tried a different tack.

"The first night's always the hardest," she said.

Olivia didn't turn her head as she brushed her teeth, but nodded in reply.

"Sometimes it's… it's the noise that gets to you," Nikki continued, frowning. "There's never a real silence in this place. Some people find that unsettling."

Wiping her mouth, Olivia faced her cellmate and, in an attempt to defuse the hollowness that had developed in her stomach, she showed a wan smile and replied, "I think I'm more worried about falling off the top bunk."

Nikki recognized the remark for what it was, and returned the smile with more sincerity. "Ah, it's only a five foot drop to a concrete floor. I've heard you New Yorkers are a tough lot."

Olivia couldn't help but chuckle. "I notice you didn't offer to take the top bunk."

"Not bloody likely!" she feigned her offence. Slyly, she added, "But you can share the bottom with me if you like." When she saw Olivia's wide eyes and open mouth, the lifer backtracked. "Sorry, just a joke. I was out of line."

"No, no, it's okay," Benson said, her voice returning to her at last. "You're just… not what I expected."

"You mean lesbian?"

"No," she repeated with a smile, "English. I thought you were all polite and stiff-upper lip and all that. I'm going to have to re-think my entire perception of British people."

Nikki laughed, before becoming serious again. "Yeah, well, this place will make you re-think your perception of a lot of things. Look, I'm sure today was a hell of a shock to the system for you, but you made it through your first day and you didn't let it break you. I can't tell you how many don't have it in them to get past that first day. But you did it, and you've got to take your victories where you can get them in here. So, for what it's worth, congratulations. Now, if you don't mind," she smirked, "I was teacher, tour guide and translator all in one today and I'm beat." She crawled into the small bunk and pulled the thin blanket up to her shoulders. "If you fall, can you try and keep the noise down to a minimum?"

Now it was Olivia's turn to laugh. "You're all heart." Finding a foothold on the metal bed frame, she hoisted herself up to the top bunk, making sure she kept low enough to not hit her head on the ceiling. "God, I haven't been on the top bunk since I spent the summer with my cousins in Michigan when I was nine." She heard the snort of amusement from Nikki. Thinking about the inmate below, Olivia had to agree with Wade; the day turned out as well as she could have expected. And she was right - it was a shock to the system. What Olivia hadn't mentioned was the fact she hadn't factored in being celled up with a cop killer. She still struggled with that wrinkle, despite establishing what could be considered a trust with the woman. She wasn't the type to trust simply on faith, yet Wade had somehow managed to draw that out of her without even trying. There might come a time when Benson would take the time to examine that situation more closely, but for now, she was glad to have that one positive mark on the score sheet. And she had established contact with Michelle Dockley, albeit not how she imagined, either. Two relatively good things in a day most people would consider the worst of their lives. With any luck, the next few days would be just as smooth.

 

*-*-*-*

 

On the third day of her time in Larkhall, Benson had approached Shell Dockley on the way to the communal bathrooms. Shoving her into one of the stalls, she sat the blonde down and got down to business.

"I thought we'd have a little talk."

Dockley looked nervous. "What about?"

"I need some stuff."

"What kind of -"

Benson grabbed her by the throat before the sentence was finished. "Don't play stupid, though I bet you play it well. I need some smack. An ounce to start."

"What?"

"Smack. Heroin. An ounce."

"You're mad," Shell scoffed. "That's almost 400 quid worth of drugs! I can't get that into a bleedin' prison!"

"I'm not asking you to. I'm asking you to get it for me. I've got someone on the outside who will take care of the rest."

"What?"

Olivia sighed. "God fucking help me." Looking the blonde right in the eye, she spoke slower. "I've got someone on the outside who will take care of the rest. I get a small sample, but the rest goes to him. I'm not interested in starting a drug trade in a fucking prison. I've got bigger things going on than that little brain of yours can comprehend. So, you contact your friend on the outside and you get him to agree to sell my friend some good stuff. They meet somewhere on the outside; I don't care where. And I get a small sample to keep you honest. It wouldn't look good if I was getting shit for a friend, would it?"

Shell shook her head as much as she could with Olivia's grip around her throat.

"Good." She reached into her back pocket and put a phone card into Dockley's hand. "You phone your dealer and when he's got the stuff, I give you a contact number for my friend. You pass it along. They meet and I get my shit. I don't care how you get it in, but I want it all set up by tomorrow before lock-up."

"Tomor -!"

The grip was squeezed tighter. "Tomorrow. You're a resourceful and persuasive girl. I have faith in you." Releasing the choke hold, Benson stepped back and said, "I'll leave you to think about it. You look like you could use the can."

She was halfway up the metal stairs when she heard a voice call out from behind her. Turning, she saw Yvonne's long strides catch up.

"Oi! Liv, you got a minute?"

"Yeah, sure."

When she made a motion to come down, Atkins ascended and shook her head. "Let's go upstairs, shall we? Too many bloody big ears around here."

Intrigued, Benson agreed and walked up to the Enhanced level. When it looked as if they were relatively alone, the cop asked, "What's this about?"

Yvonne's face turned hard and hawkish. "What are you playing at?"

"I don't under-"

"Shell Dockley," she hissed as she stepped into Benson's space. "I was in the bleedin' stall next door while you were setting up a deal with that bitch."

'Shit,' Benson thought. She hadn't checked the bathroom before pulling Dockley in. Out loud, she said, "It's not what you think."

Atkins would have none of it. "Look, I don't give a shit what it is. What I care about is Nikki Wade." Seeing Benson's brow raise, she snorted, "Not like that, Christ. But she's my best mate in this shit hole and that's saying something. You've got her respect and that's good enough for me, right? But if you mess that up or do anything to disappoint her, I won't take kindly to it. Am I making myself clear?"

She had been bullied, intimidated and threatened before - it was par for the course in her job as a cop - but there was something so deadly calm in Atkins manner that Benson knew this was no empty promise.

"Perfectly clear."

"Good." And just like that, Yvonne's face softened and they were friends again. "She likes you, Liv. Don't let her down."

The familiar face of Nikki came into view as the brunette climbed the stairs.

"Well, speak of the devil," Yvonne smiled as Nikki approached. "Were your ears burning?"

Nikki smiled in turn, then noticed the close proximity of the mob wife and Olivia. "You putting the moves on my cellmate, Yvonne?"

"Eh?" she replied, then realized where she was standing. Jumping back like a scalded cat, Atkins retorted, "Not bloody likely!"

"That's good to hear," Wade replied, her mouth twitching in amusement, "I would have been incredibly offended, after all the passes I've made in your direction."

"Sweetheart, if the only man left on the planet was Jim bastard Fenner and all the batteries had been used up, you know you'd be the first person I'd call."

"Gee, thanks Yvonne. I think."

When the laughter of the three women died down, Yvonne said, "I've got work to do; haven't met my daily quota of taking the piss out of Bodybag yet. I'll see you two ladies at tea."

As the older woman walked away and started down the steps, Nikki looked at Olivia. "So what was all that really about?"

Olivia tried to shrug it off. "Nothing." Seeing Nikki's steadfast gaze, she relented, though leaving out the most damning details. "I ran into Dockley in the bathroom." Nikki's eyes widened and Benson put her hand on Wade's arm to nip the lifer's worry in the bud. "It's okay. Nothing happened that I couldn't handle. We had a little talk and I reinforced what the ground rules were between us, just to make myself clear. Nothing happened," she repeated.

Nikki nodded. "What did Yvonne have to do with it?"

"She was in one of the stalls when things went down. She just wanted to make sure I was okay and advised me to just stay away from Dockley."

"It's good advice," the con agreed.

"So, what are you doing up here? I thought you had a class today."

"You my personal secretary, then?" She saw Olivia's innocent look and laughed. "I did have class today; you've just lost track of time. Some secretary you'd make." Lazily dangling her hands over the rail, Nikki looked down to the levels below. "Now I'm here to survey my fiefdom, of course."

Olivia copied the relaxed pose and leaned forward. "I heard you were top dog around here."

"Oh, yeah," Nikki replied, "just call me Donna Corleone." She shook her head in amusement and reached for her pack of smokes. "Be serious, would you?"

"I am," Benson said. "Get Nikki Wade's respect and you get the respect of the wing. This might only be my third day, but I know which side my bread's buttered on."

Lighting a cigarette, she blew the smoke away from Olivia before responding. "You've been talking to Yvonne too much. I forbid it from now on." The two women laughed, then Nikki said, "Besides, you might want to talk to Shell Dockley about this whole respect thing."

Olivia shrugged. "I suspect she doesn't have much respect for herself, so she'll never have respect for anyone else. And she's not the wing, is she?" She didn't miss the eye roll she got from Nikki. "Trust me. When I walk through the wing, I know the women respect me. I've only been here three days. It's because of you."

As was her nature, Nikki brushed away the compliment. "Yeah, well, I'm sure it has nothing to do with your fan club telling everyone you put it to Dockley."

"My fan club?"

Nikki turned to her and smiled. In unison, they said, "The two Julies."

"They're sweet. But maybe I should tell them the truth about why I'm in here."

"Let them have their fun," Nikki said, stubbing out her cigarette. "God knows there isn't much of it in this place."

The intercom crackled to life and dinner was announced. Olivia was the first to move. She got to the top of the stairs and noticed Nikki hadn't moved and was instead still watching the world below her. There was a sadness in her face that Olivia hadn't seen, and it made her feel equally sad. Thinking it best to not draw attention to the moment, she tried a lighter tact.

"Hey," she called out. Nikki raised her head and offered a wan smile. "Come on, Aretha."

Wade's brow furrowed and she tilted her head, though she followed Olivia's order. "Aretha?"

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Stabler."

"It's me."

"Liv?"

"You know any other women calling you from prison?"

The detective laughed. "Sorry, Larkhall Prison doesn't seem to come up on my call display. How are ya?"

"Good, except for the stuff they're passing off as food. It's worse than the damn hospital."

"I'll treat you to a hotdog and pretzel when you get back. Anything happening otherwise?"

Olivia looked around and lowered her voice, despite no one being within earshot. "Set up something this morning. Just waiting to hear back. Gave her until tomorrow to make arrangements."

Stabler sat forward in his chair. "Good work, Liv. Have you contacted DCI Williams?"

"No," she answered, "can you call him for me? I only have so much time on these phone cards. Besides, I'm still working on figuring out more than half of what people are saying in this country."

"Cor blimey!" Elliot quipped. "I know what you mean. Speaking of, how is your resident translator lately?"

"Very funny. She's fine. I'll tell her you asked. Listen, I gotta go. I just wanted to give you an update. Tell Williams I'll call him when I've got a drop-off set up."

"Will do, Liv. You're sure you're okay, though?"

"God," Benson groaned, "are you my partner or my brother?"

"Hey, I can be both. You're family. The kids would have my ass if anything happened to you."

She smiled. "Thanks, El. I'll call soon."

"Take it easy. 'Bye."

 

*-*-*-*

 

She had her head down as she approached her living arrangements for the next three weeks, and almost ran into another, smaller woman who was also going in that direction.

"Sorry," Benson apologized.

"No need," the shorter woman said. "You going to Nikki's cell?"

"Yeah."

Eyeing Olivia from head to toe and back again, the woman offered a small smile. "You're the American," she stated in an accent Olivia couldn't quite place.

"Yeah. Olivia Benson."

"Right, you're here for possession." She must have seen the puzzled look on Benson's face, because she laughed softly and gave an apology of her own. "Sorry, we've never met. I'm Helen Stewart. I'm the governing Governor." Benson's look changed from puzzled to one of amusement. "Yes, it's quite redundant." Stewart's eyes narrowed as she retrieved a piece of information from her memory banks. "Your solicitor is working on an appeal, isn't he?" When the taller woman nodded, Helen did as well. "Good. Keep at it. And if you need to meet with your solicitor, ask one of the guards to inform Ms. Betts or myself and we'll see that it gets done."

Benson smiled. She didn't know this woman from Adam, but she had a straight ahead quality about her that was infectious. "Yes, Miss," she couldn't help but reply.

"Good. After you?" Stewart tilted her head in the direction of the cell door.

"Hey, Nik," Benson said as she walked into the room.

Not even bothering to make the effort of peering over the top of her book, Wade groaned, "Must you call me that?"

Benson laughed. "I only do it because I know it bugs you."

"You're a right pain in my ass, you are."

"Which is the perfect place for me to come in," Helen quipped.

"Helen!" Nikki blurted and sat up straight, hitting her head on the bar of the bunk. "Shit!"

"Good to see you, too, Nikki."

The simple exchange between the two women made Olivia's ears perk up in interest. She didn't miss the fact that Nikki had called the woman by her first name. And now, having the chance to look at Stewart unaware, her natural cop instinct kicked in. About five foot four inches, 130 pounds, light brown near-shoulder length hair, and hazel green eyes. The woman couldn't have been more diametrically opposite to Nikki if she tried. On the surface, anyway. But that brief glimpse of her take-charge attitude she saw outside the cell was right in line with what she knew about Nikki's character. And if the looks they were giving each other were any indication, they had a lot more in common than Olivia would have suspected.

Thinking that three was a crowd, Benson casually grabbed Nikki's pack of cigarettes and said, "I'm just going to go out for a… fag?" She saw Nikki smile at her use of the British slang. "I'll be back later."

Nikki's smile fell quickly and she said, "No, stay."

Benson furrowed her brow. That wasn't what she had expected Nikki to say. But hearing the firmness in her voice and seeing the almost pleading look in her eyes, Benson silently agreed.

Helen glanced at Olivia, then back to Nikki. "It's about your appeal," she offered, her tone indicating it was confidential.

Nikki ignored Helen's silent request that they be given time alone and instead replied, "Whatever you have to say can be said in front of Liv. I trust her."

If Nikki's use of what Helen guessed to be a personal moniker stung her, the flinch was a brief and fleeting one. "Right," she began, "Claire has come back from holiday and has started working on your appeal in earnest. She's reviewing case law, but she's also doing extensive background information on Sgt. Gossard; something which wasn't done the first time round."

"Bloody bastard cops looking out for their own, I suppose," Nikki spit out.

Helen's expression neither confirmed nor denied Nikki's accusation. "Anyway, she may have come up with something, but it's early days yet. She wanted to tell you that as soon as she knows anything, good or bad, she'd let you know."

"Yeah, well, she knows where to find me, doesn't she?"

"Nikki." She reached forward to touch the lifer's shoulder until she realized they weren't the only ones in the room, and quickly pulled her hand back. "You've got to keep positive. There's no sense getting yourself down when there is a good chance there's no reason to."

Silence spread though the small cell and finally, Helen glanced over at Olivia as if asking for her help. The American slid a cigarette out of the pack and flicked a match to life. Drawing in a lungful of smoke, Benson said, "I'll tell you what, Nik." The other woman looked up at her and glowered. "I've got a hundred bucks that says you get out before I do."

Nikki shook her head, but couldn't stop the small lopsided grin from tugging at the corner of her mouth. "You'd better spot me ten years if you want to win. Besides, your Yankee imperialist money is of no value to me." She punctuated her sentence with a genuine smile which made the other two women do the same. "You're right, Helen," Nikki admitted, looking up at her. "No sense worrying about rain when it's clear skies, is it?"

"That's what I like to hear. I also hear you've got a big test at the end of the month."

"What? Oh, university. Yeah, it's supposed to give us an idea of what the final exam is like."

"You'll do great."

"Yeah, well, we'll see."

This time, Helen did reach out and touch Nikki's shoulder, albeit very briefly. "Let me know how it goes." She glanced over at Olivia again. "It was nice meeting you, Olivia. Remember what I said - if there's anything I can do to help you and your solicitor, don't hesitate to ask."

When Helen was gone and safely out of earshot, Benson handed the cigarette over to Nikki. "Those are awful!"

Nikki laughed and took it out of her fingers. "I was wondering what that was about."

"Thought I'd give myself something to do besides stare."

"What do you mean?"

Olivia pushed herself off the wall and slid into one of the hard chairs. Instead of answering the question, she looked around the room with a sly grin. "Well, that explains the books."

Rather than repeating her question, Nikki took a drag of her cigarette and muttered, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Olivia all but hooted her mirth at what amounted to a confession. "I bet you don't!"

"Bloody head inspector."

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Along the yard wall, to where it juts out, there's a bush there."

This information was passed along at the food counter, along with a large dollop of the daily mysterious nutritional concoction. Benson simply nodded at Dockley and moved on to the table that Nikki, Yvonne and Barbara already occupied. The meeting between Dockley's source and Benson's contact had gone down without a hitch. Information had been exchanged and a meeting had been arranged. Now it was only a matter of setting up something a bit larger.

After lunch, and under the pretence of getting some fresh air, Olivia took a stroll around the yard. From the steps of the prison, it was easy to see exactly where Dockley had stashed the sample Olivia had requested. Keeping it within her peripheral vision, Benson tucked her hands in the pockets of her jacket and lazily made her way around the yard. Stopping directly in front of the small tree Dockley had described, Olivia crouched down and, using the façade of tying up her shoe, glanced under the shrub. The corner of a hidden plastic bag poked out from a small pile of dirt, and, surreptitiously looking around, Olivia quickly reached under and tucked the bag into her sock. Standing up and taking another quick look around, she took a deep breath of satisfaction and relief and continued on her way.

As she reached the top of the steps, she bumped into Dominic.

"Sorry," she apologized, then realized who it was. "Oh, hello, Mr. McAllister."

"Hiya, Olivia," the young guard responded amiably. "How are you finding things?"

She tried not to react to the double-meaning the guard was unaware of making. Instead, she smiled and shrugged. "Not bad I guess, considering."

He nodded his understanding. "You taking in the sights of the Larkhall yard?"

"Hmmm? Oh, yeah. Thought I'd get some fresh air. It seems to be in short supply in there," she gestured inside. "Though I suppose I could say that about a lot of things."

"I suppose you could," he agreed.

"Anyway, nature calls, so…" she pointed towards the door.

"Go on, then."

Her heart was racing, but it was a good feeling. She always welcomed that rush of adrenaline a good job gave her. Slipping into the very same stall she had cornered Dockley in, she reached down into her sock and retrieved the bundle of plastic. The bag opened as she slid the plastic zipper across the top and she emptied the contents into the toilet before flushing it. When the bowl filled again, she tied the bag into a small knot and flushed it as well. She hadn't needed to check the quality of the drugs - if anything had been suspect about it, DCI Williams would have warned her. She had only given Shell the story of wanting a sample to keep her honest, and to manufacture an image. But she didn't need to be caught with the stuff, either. Satisfied it had all been washed away, she came out of the stall, rinsed her hands, and wondered what to do next.

Making sure her appearance on G3 had gone unnoticed, Benson slipped into the cell of Shell Dockley. The blonde's head snapped up from her beauty magazine and she frowned.

"Oi! Don't you gits knock in America?"

The cop let the insult go by and instead facetiously rapped on the inside of the door.

"Happy?"

"Thrilled to bleedin' death," Dockley grumbled. "What do you want now? I got your precious kit for ya, didn't I?"

"And that's what I'm here to talk about," Benson replied pleasantly. "The stuff you got me was good. More importantly, my partner liked it."

"Yeah, well," she huffed, "I should hope so. I went to a lot of trouble to get it."

Benson smiled humourlessly. "You would have had more trouble figuring out how to get up and down those stairs with two broken legs if you hadn't. You're not as dumb as you look, Shell."

Dockley looked pleased with herself until she realized what Benson had implied. "Oi!" she objected.

Waving her off, Olivia said, "I didn't come here to flirt with you. I want you to get me some more."

"What? Already?"

"The first job was just a sample test, Shell. But my partner and I are interested in the larger picture."

Benson could almost see the pieces falling into place for the blonde.

Her eyes widened and she breathed, "You mean America, don'tcha?"

"Wow, you really aren't as dumb as you look."

Dockley's face darkened. "You slag me off one more time and I'll cut your tits off and serve 'em as curry!"

Olivia bent forward, her face equally dark, her expression stony and hard. "And it will be the last thing you get to do with your hands."

The woman blanched. "So what is it this time, then?"

"A kilo."

"A kilo!" The volume of her startled exclamation made Dockley clamp her hand over her mouth. Slowly taking it away, she fiercely whispered, "Do you know how much that'll cost ya?" Chuckling as if she'd just seen Olivia grow another head, she said, "You've got a tear in your marble bag if you think I can get a kilo of smack in here."

"Shell," Benson shook her head, "You're gonna make me want to take back all the good things I said about you. To answer the first question, about 45 thousand pounds. As for the second bit…"

A small smirk spread across Shell's face. "I get it. Same as before. You get a sample, but it's your friend who gets the prize."

Benson pretended to be impressed. "Good girl."

"Yeah!" Shell narrowed her eyes. "What am I gettin' out of this, then?"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll get what you deserve, Shell." Seeing that this answer didn't appease the woman, Olivia shrugged. "Why don't we start with me giving you my portion, and we'll see about more later." Now it was Benson's turn to narrow her eyes. "Or have you already skimmed from my sample?"

The blonde laughed nervously. "Come on, Liv, what do I look like, eh?" Faced with Benson's unwavering stare, she admitted, "Okay, so maybe just a little taste is all. Nothing worth anything to anyone." She curled her legs up under her and tucked her hands under her thighs. "Just a little something between friends, right?"

Olivia glowered, but relented. "Not much I can do about it now, can I? Besides inflict bodily harm." Shell shrunk back on her bed. "But everyone deserves a second chance, I guess."

"You're all right, Liv," Dockley stammered.

"I don't give third chances, Shell." She held the door ajar and said, "I want to hear something arranged by Monday." She saw Dockley's look of amazement. "That gives you the whole weekend. I could break out of here and come back in that time." As a parting shot, she turned back and said, "And don't fucking call me Liv again."

*-*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

Saturday started the same as always, though if Nikki had been in a cynical mood, she might have said it started like any other day in Larkhall, considering the days all seemed to bleed into each other. She woke up, washed up, went for tea and spent a good part of the day chatting with whomever stopped at her table. Benson was right, though Wade would never admit it - everyone knew Nikki, and Nikki knew everyone. More importantly, Nikki had the respect of everyone. Whether it was due to her criminal reputation as a cop killer, or her personal reputation of sticking up for the underdog, she had it here in Larkhall in spades.

She had just spent an hour of quiet contemplation in the potting shed when she returned to the wing, only to see a small crowd gathered at the bottom of the stairs that joined the three floors.

"What's going on here, then?" Nikki asked Yvonne, who was leaning back against the railing. No sooner had the words come out of her mouth when she saw Olivia lightly jogging down the last flight of stairs. "Hey," she said brightly.

Olivia smiled back. "Hey," she greeted, only to turn around when her feet hit the floor and climb the stairs again.

Nikki's brow furrowed in confusion, though she took notice of the curve of Benson's ass as she made her way to the top.

Yvonne didn't miss the look. Lightly tapping the back of her fingers under Nikki's chin, she smirked, "Close your mouth, love, you're catching flies."

"Very funny." Wade looked around at the small group who craned their necks up the open stairwell. "Where's the fire?"

"Evidently, she's exercising," Atkins responded. "Had to hand Bodybag a dictionary when she came round and asked the same question."

The pounding of Benson's feet on the metal came closer, and the brunette made the turn to descend the final set of stairs. Now able to take a slightly longer look, Wade skimmed Benson from head to toe. Her hair was damp and slightly askew, probably from the woman wiping the sweat from her brow. Thankfully for those in attendance who were interested, there were other places Benson couldn't wipe the sweat away, most notably for the audience, in the dip between her breasts and at the small of her back, both spots a darker grey than her cotton shirt and suitably clingy. Her feet hit the floor and she turned again, back up the stairs.

"How long has this been going on?" Nikki asked.

Yvonne shrugged. "Ask her personal trainer here. Denny!" The young woman turned her head. "How long has Liv been entertaining you lot?"

Denny grinned and didn't bother denying the implication. "I don't know about time, but she's gone up and down forty-nine times now."

"The only thing I'd be wanting to go up and down forty-nine times is on some young stud with a nice tackle," Yvonne stated.

Several of the women laughed, including Nikki. "You don't know what you're missing, Yvonne."

"I do. I'm missing a young stud with a nice tackle, is what I'm missing!"

"Fifty!" Denny and Shaz announced as Olivia touched the floor.

She rested her hands on her hips and bent at the waist as she tried to bring her breathing back to normal. Heads in unison tilted to the side to get a better view, but either she was unaware of the attention or chose to ignore it. She took in huge lungfuls of air, and, when she felt her heart slow down to a more comfortable rate, she stood up straight.

"Here ya go, Liv," Denny said as she handed Olivia a plastic bottle of water. "It's not real bottled water, 'cause they don't bother with that stuff here, but it's something."

"Thanks, Denny," Benson breathed as she took the offering. With one hand still on her hip, she tilted her head back and let the cool liquid soothe her parched throat. Small rivulets spilled out of her mouth and down her chin, making little trails down her neck and pooling in the hollow of her throat.

"That sound you heard was a hundred lezzies getting off," Yvonne whispered conspiratorially towards Nikki, who had been transfixed with the rest of them. At that statement, Nikki's head snapped around and she looked at Atkins in disbelief. "What? That woman right there has just been given the starring role in a year's worth of fantasies." Seeing her friend's mouth agape, Yvonne winked. "Don't worry, love, you'll always be my number one girl."

Nikki couldn't help but laugh. "You're a peach, Yvonne. A real peach."

"Anyway, don't worry," Atkins went on. "Everyone knows she's your number one girl." When Nikki didn't reply, the older woman turned and looked at her. "You telling me you and her… nothing? Cellmates for almost a week and… nothing?" Wade was silent, looking very much like a child being chastised. "What? She have someone on the outside?"

"I haven't asked," Nikki admitted.

"You what? I pictured you two shagging like rabbits by now."

Nikki raised an eyebrow in amusement. "You pictured me and Olivia naked, Yvonne?"

The mob widow scrunched her face as if she had just eaten something bad. "Sod off, will you?" She nodded her head in Benson's direction, who was talking to Dominic. "And for God's sake, do something. One of us should be getting our rocks off."

"I was wondering if I could go have a shower, Mr. McAllister?" Benson asked the young guard.

"Well, I…," he stuttered, "it's not really allowed. Wash up's in the morning." He looked at her, knowing it wouldn't be the end of the world if he bent the rules. Anyway, it was obvious she needed a shower. Her cough brought his eyes up from her breasts. The heat rushed so quickly to his face that he dreaded knowing how red he must be. "Go on, then. Make it quick."

"You're the best, Dom," she whispered, and jogged in the direction of her cell as 40 pairs of eyes followed.

"Well," Yvonne said to Nikki, "what are you waiting for? Get going."

 

*-*-*-*

 

Despite a rather aggressive shove by Yvonne, Nikki couldn't bring herself to follow Benson into the showers. It seemed so predatory. Besides, she didn't know if the American was even interested. Or even gay. As she tipped her chair back against the stone wall of the cell, her eyes glazing over a book she wasn't reading, she made a mental edit regarding the last point. God knew she was banged up in Larkhall long enough, but she was still confident in her instincts. An image of Helen came to mind unbidden, and Nikki brushed it aside.

The sight of a wet Olivia Benson in the doorway helped.

"Hey."

"Hiya."

Nikki's eyes snapped down to her book and she feigned a disinterest in the woman who had just entered the cell. It wasn't as if she'd never seen Olivia step out of the showers, wet and smelling of something soft and understated. Hell, it wasn't as if she'd never seen the woman naked, albeit never as long as her memory banks would have liked. But those moments were never prefaced by the long view of Benson jogging up the stairs, the fleece of her pants, the cotton of her tee clinging possessively to the curves of her body because of sweat and movement. Yvonne had joked about Olivia becoming the subject for a hundred fantasies, but she wasn't far off the mark. It didn't take much imagination to see the small droplets of sweat trickling down her temples to that hard jaw line in a context more carnal than stair-climbing. On that last descent, when she had opened her mouth to draw in huge gasps of air, her tongue making a brief appearance to moisten her lips, it wasn't hard to place that image in a very different scenario.

She was allowed to think these thoughts in unquestioning silence, because Benson had turned, her back to Nikki, and shrugged the thin white robe off her shoulders, where it pooled to the floor.

'You are an adolescent boy out of control,' Nikki reprimanded herself. It didn't stop her from looking, though. While she liked to think she valued intelligence and integrity and honesty above all else, even Nikki Wade had to admit it helped when it came wrapped in a gorgeous package. And she had rarely seen one so beautifully sculpted as Olivia Benson. If she was allowed to touch, Nikki wondered whether Olivia would be cool on her fingertips like marble, or if she would be warm and yielding.

Lost in her visions, she hadn't noticed Olivia was almost dressed. 'Shame,' Nikki thought. Some bodies weren't meant to be covered. She almost said the words aloud before she caught herself. "Somebody left their mark on your shoulder."

Benson turned. "What's that?"

"Your shoulder. You have a nasty scar on the back of your right shoulder."

"Oh, yeah," Olivia replied, trailing her fingers through her damp hair. "Patient of mine and a letter opener. Not a happy couple." She figured that was a better story than telling Nikki a perp had come up behind her in a darkened apartment building and stabbed her with a switchblade.

Nikki dropped her chair back into its original position with a thud. "Jesus!"

Olivia shrugged. "Hazard of the job, I guess," she remarked truthfully and slid into the wooden chair opposite Nikki. Resting her forearms on the table, she leaned forward and commented, "You're very observant."

"Yeah, well, hazard of being banged up in a prison with criminals, I suppose."

"I suppose," the cop agreed with a smile. She heard Nikki's knee hit the underside of the table with a nervous bounce. "What's up?"

Nikki shook her head. "Nothing."

Raising a doubting eyebrow, Benson said, "Come on. The first session's on me."

This offer drew a small grin from Wade. Biting the inside of her bottom lip, the con frowned and remarked, "You'd think I'd never kissed anyone before."

Eyes narrowing, Olivia asked, "Who did you kiss?"

"I haven't kissed her yet."

It only took a fraction of a second for the meaning to sink in. "Oh, I see."

If Olivia had leaned back, Nikki wouldn't have pressed the matter any further. She could take a hint better than most and she would have understood and moved on. But Benson didn't lean back. She remained, arms on the table, body still leaning forward.

It's not that alarm bells weren't blaring at 200 decibels in Benson's head; it was just that she wasn't listening. She waited for the movement she knew was coming from Nikki, and when it happened, she did nothing to stop it.

Resting on her forearms, Nikki rose up slightly and leaned across the short space between her and Olivia's mouth. She paused briefly, offering an unspoken, final chance for Benson to change her mind. The American closed her eyes, giving a silent consent that almost made Nikki moan out loud.

The kiss was simple and chaste, as their lips grazed across each others; a scouting mission for nerve endings to send messages back to the brain. As well as other parts of the body. A second pass was bolder as Nikki captured Olivia's top lip between her teeth. The cop sighed with pleasure, allowing Nikki to slide her tongue past the parted teeth and meet its counterpart. Strong hands gripped Nikki's arms as warmth and flesh and desire came together. The table between them prevented anything other than this - the exchange of electricity between their tongues and through the touch of fingertips on forearms. It wasn't enough and yet, being forced to focus solely on those two connections, it seemed like too much.

With palms against the table top, Nikki pushed herself up, wanting to get closer, to be closer. There was no grace to their kiss now, as teeth collided with teeth, lips pressed almost painfully against each other as they tried desperately to reduce the space between them. It was only when she felt Olivia's hand reach up to grab a handful of hair that Nikki did moan.

It was this sound that did what all the internal alarms could not do. Startled out of the moment, Olivia pulled back, breathless and bruised. Nikki leaned forward, but Benson shook her head.

'What the hell am I thinking?' she berated herself. 'I'm a cop. Undercover. In a fucking prison.' It could be a death sentence to forget it, or to let her mask slip for a second. And yet, looking into the honest eyes of Nikki Wade, she wondered how long she could keep up the charade.

"What is it?" Nikki asked gently.

Not long.

"There's something I have to tell you," she began, then faltered.

"Let me guess. You're not interested." Even at that moment, Olivia couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the comment. "So it's not that." Nikki's brow creased and she became more serious. "You've got someone on the outside."

'This is your out, Benson,' she told herself. And yet she couldn't bring herself to confirm Nikki's guess.

She didn't have to - Nikki took her silence as confirmation. Sitting back into her seat, she said, "Shit. I should have known." She tempered her disappointment with a small smile. "I mean, look at you, you're gorgeous."

"I'm sorry," was all the cop could say. She was sorry. Sorry she couldn't tell the truth. Sorry she had to lie to this woman.

Though she meant the apology to cover a multitude of regrets and dishonesty, Nikki accepted it for something not nearly as complex. "Don't apologize," she forgave, "I made the assumption. Anyway, it was a nice little slice of heaven while it lasted, eh? I don't regret it. Do you?"

She had a lot to regret, but kissing Nikki Wade wasn't one of them. "No," she answered truthfully.

Her smile was larger now. "Small victories, Liv."

Benson nodded, though she didn't feel victorious at all.

 

*-*-*-*

 

"So," Yvonne said immediately. The woman had quickly sat down across from Nikki and gauged how long it would take Olivia to get through the breakfast cue.

"So what?" Nikki feigned ignorance.

Yvonne snorted. "Give it up, will you? I mean, so, you and Liv?"

Barbara's head jerked up from her book. Looking between the two women, she asked, "I'm sorry? What's this?"

Nikki rolled her eyes and explained, "Yvonne has developed a rather uncomfortable interest in my sex life, Babs."

Yvonne would not be deterred. "And you're avoiding the question, love."

"Fine," the brunette sighed, "so, nothing. She's got someone on the outside."

"Oh, Nikki, that's too bad," Barbara sympathized.

"Male?" Yvonne asked.

"No," Nikki grinned, "I don't think so."

"How did you find out?"

Nikki lifted her cup to her lips and smirked, "Well I kissed her, didn't I?"

Olivia arrived at the table just in time to help Barbara slap a choking Yvonne on the back.

"You all right there, Yvonne?" Benson asked.

"Marvelous, thanks." She shot an evil glare at Nikki. "Bloody marvelous."

Olivia looked at Yvonne, then to Nikki, then to an amused Barbara, and back to Nikki. "Why do I get the feeling I walked in at the tail end of something I would have been interested in hearing?"

Nikki tilted her head at Yvonne and said, "I bet you didn't know Yvonne here is a cupid in her spare time."

"Oi!" Yvonne glowered. "Problem is, I've got too much of it to spare."

Benson's eyebrows raised in realization. "Ah, I see. Me and Nikki? Well, I'm flattered. You've got great taste, Yvonne, I'll give you that."

Nikki laughed at the red flush that spread across the mob wife's face. "Our kids would be gorgeous!"

"And tall," Barbara offered, contributing to the jest.

"All right, all right, you've all had your fun," Yvonne said. "Nikki told me you have someone on the outside. I know when the cause is lost. I'm glad Nikki got a kiss out of the deal, anyway. Someone should be getting something in here."

Benson slowly turned her head to look at a sheepish Nikki. "You kissed and told?"

"Come on!" Nikki defended. "You can't honestly expect me to kiss you and not want to brag about it, can you?"

"Is flattery your way of getting out of shit?"

"Yes."

The four women laughed.

"So you two are all right, then?" Yvonne asked. "I mean, no hard feelings or any of that?"

The two cellmates looked at each other and Nikki spoke for them both. "No. No awkwardness. Life's too short. Besides," she added slyly, "not everyone has the pleasure of being kissed by Nikki Wade."

"Not from your lack of trying," Yvonne said.

"Hey!" Nikki objected, and the four women laughed again.

After breakfast, the two cellmates cleaned up and made plans for the day.

"I thought I'd work on that tunnel I've got going underneath the potting shed. What do you think?" Nikki asked, all innocence and curiosity.

"Oh, I'd help you with that," Olivia played along, "but this is the only spoon I've got."

With an exaggerated sigh, Nikki stood up and shrugged. "Fine. Just don't think you're tagging along when I bust out of this place."

She hadn't been gone five minutes when Benson received a surprise visit. "Christ, I thought Saint Nik would never leave," Shell groused as she entered the cell.

Olivia looked up sharply from her paper. "Watch it."

"Oh, excuse me," Dockley said without a glimmer of sincerity. "I didn't realize you two were kissin' carpets. You'd best be careful there. She finds out you're pushing drugs and you'll fall out of favour faster than…" she paused to find a suitable metaphor.

"For God's sake," Benson muttered, "the entire wing will know if you don't spit it out. What are you doing here?"

"Eh? Oh, I'm to tell you, before any more deals go on, Mr. Weston would like to speak to you, one on one like."

Though she knew the answer, she asked, "Who's Mr. Weston?"

Shell looked insulted. "Only the bloke whose gonna get your kit into the States if you play your cards right. He's the top dog, in't he?"

"Why does he want to talk to me?"

"Do I look like bleedin' Russell Grant? I'm to give you his number and you're supposed to ring him. That's all I know. Though if you ask me," Olivia didn't point out that in fact, she had, "I think he's a might suspicious about why you've jumped from an ounce to a kilo in a week. I tried to tell Bill - he's my bloke on the outside, if you get my meaning - about your idea for America, see, but Mr. Weston wants to speak to you personal like."

Benson's mind whizzed at the possible reasons behind a phone call, not to mention the pitfalls. First things first, she had to get Dockley out of the cell before anyone saw her, or worse, before Nikki came back. "Where's the number?"

Shell reached into her bra and tossed a scrap of paper on the table.

When Olivia noticed the con hadn't moved, she tilted her head. "What?"

"Am I still gonna get some stuff?"

Benson pinched the bridge of her nose. Fucking addicts. "I'll do what I can, that's all."

Dockley stood for several more seconds until she realized she had been dismissed. Unimpressed with Benson's offer, but unable to come up with a suitable protest, she left. Lucky for Benson, Nikki hadn't found a reason to double back. However, Dockley's exit wasn't missed by the watchful eye of Jim Fenner.

She hesitated before picking up the receiver. Should she phone DCI Williams and let him know what was going on? Would it do any good? What could he tell her that she didn't already know as a cop? Let Weston think he's got the upper hand, but don't make it too easy or it'll raise suspicions. Play hard ball, but don't scare him away. Still, she wished Stabler was around so they could toss ideas around and have a couple of dry runs before making the call. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes briefly, and dialed the number.

"Yeah."

'It's now or never,' she thought. "Yeah, I'm looking for Mr. Weston."

"Who's doin' the lookin'?"

"Benson. Olivia Benson. A friend from New York."

"Hold on." Voices were muffled as the receiver was pressed against a shoulder or chest. "Yeah, sorry, love," the male voice returned, "but Mr. Weston's busy at the moment. You got a number, he'll ring you back, yeah?"

"No," Benson replied calmly, "unless he knows how to get a call through to my cell in Larkhall."

"Right. Hold on." A few more seconds of muffled sounds passed until he came back again. "I'll put you through."

"Olivia Benson," a different voice stated.

"I take it you're Mr. Weston," she said. "Because if you're not and I'm wasting this phone card for nothing, it's gonna piss me off."

The voice chuckled. "I'll be sure to throw a few into our next deal, free of charge. I won't waste your time, love, because you don't have much of it, and mine is money. I've been told you're looking for another shipment."

She knew he'd never say the word 'heroin' or anything else that might incriminate him should the phones be tapped. "We enjoyed your last sample so much, we'd like to increase it."

"So I've heard. And while I'm flattered that you were so pleased, I'm sure you'll understand why I'm a bit hesitant to agree to so much more so soon. I usually like to let a friendship cultivate and grow over the years, give ourselves some time to get to know one another before I feel comfortable in dealing in that sort of amount."

"I understand." Benson decided to try a harder edge. "And if you feel you can't commit to that kind of arrangement, I could always shop around."

The man laughed. "You must be new to these parts, because I'm the only shop in town."

She would have none of his bolster. "I'll be sure to mention that to the Booker brothers in Camden. I bet the Footie Boys of Ealing would be interested in hearing that bit of news as well." There was a lengthy pause on the other end and Olivia could almost here the gears turning in Weston's head. "I hear you've been trying to get into New York for a while now, but you're having a bit of trouble with the triads. I think I can help you, but that's your decision." The silence stretched on and she played her last card. "I understand your hesitancy, Mr. Weston. I'm sorry we couldn't do business. It's been a pleasure talking to you." Had the bluff not worked, it would have been the end of the road. She was as close as they had come to getting this bastard, and months of man power would have gone down the drain.

Fortunately, she heard him say, "Wait."

"Yes?"

"You're an impatient woman, Miss Benson."

"Well, as you alluded to earlier, time is money. I've got distributors and clients lined up. I just need the supply. It seems like a fairly simple business venture. And a very lucrative one for all of us."

"I agree." There was another stretch of silence, though much shorter this time. "What did you have in mind?"

Benson willed her heart to slow down. "First, we start with the new amount. You get that to my partner in New York without a hitch, and we'll go from there."

"How do I get paid?"

"Same as the first time. Except we pay you half here, and your deliverer gets the second half when he gets to New York."

"Full payment up front."

"Not a chance."

"You don't trust me, love?" he chuckled. "Now you know how I feel. Full payment this time. Half and half on any future dealings. Consider it a payment towards an accelerated friendship fund."

There was no way she could turn him down, not when she was so close. Still, she paused long enough to make him think she was genuinely considering it. At last, she said, "Fine. I'll pass it along to my partner and he'll manage the rest. He'll get back to you within a day to make the arrangements."

"Very good."

"Just out of curiosity, Mr. Weston, how do you plan on shipping to the U.S.?"

He chuckled again, but this time it sent shivers down her spine. "Let's just say it's child's play."

Once he was certain no one was watching, Fenner entered the cell and got straight to the point.

"What are you playing at, Dockley?"

The blonde looked away from the mirror and touched her hair. "What do you mean, Mr. Fenner?"

"Don't bother, Shell, I'm not interested in you right now. I am interested in what you've got going on with the new one sharing the cell with Wade."

"What? The American?" Dockley asked, as if she didn't know.

The crooked guard stepped menacingly closer. "Don't try and be clever, love, it doesn't suit you. I saw you coming out of her cell."

"Oh, that? That, that was nothing, sir. Just having a little fun with the new girl, right? Winding her up about sharing a cell with a lezzie, though if you ask me, sir, like is like there, if you get my meaning."

"You came all the way down from 3 a week after the new girl's been here, just to take the piss?"

"Well, there's not much else to do round here, is there?"

Fenner's eyes narrowed. "I know she's in for drug possession, which would be right down your alley, wouldn't it?" When the blonde didn't respond, he continued, "You wouldn't be doing anything behind my back, would you?"

Shell's fear was masked by her manufactured sputter of disbelief. "Me, behind your back, Mr. Fenner?" She trailed her finger from his chest down to his belt buckle. "You know I'd rather be doing something with you face-to-face."

He brushed her hand away, but softened his tone to a leer. "You're a tart, Shell Dockley, you know that?"

She smiled. "Just the way you like me, innit?"

He smile held nothing but self-serving pleasure. "Wear that pretty lace thing you've got at lock-up and maybe I'll come round later."

"Look forward to it, sir."

He got to the door and turned. "But remember, you try to mess about behind my back and the Block will look like paradise, got it?"

The smile remained plastered to her face. "Got it." It was only when the door closed behind him did she allow the smile to drop and the fear to spread over her expression. "Shit!"

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Stabler."

"You know," Benson began, "you should mix that up a bit. 'Detective Stabler, SVU,' or 'Elliot Stabler, how can I help you?' That sort of thing."

His chuckle rolled down the line. "Hang up and call me again."

"Right!" she replied with a laugh of her own. "I'll be cutting the time on this card close enough as it is."

Knowing she had information on the case, he turned serious immediately. "Okay, I'm listening."

"Had a chat with Mr. Gregory Weston today." She heard the audible breath of surprise from Elliot. "Yeah, I know, surprised the hell out of me, too. Seemed he was a bit suspicious about the increase we wanted. Can't blame him."

"What'd you say?"

"The usual. Short of saying the actual words, I let him know I'd try somewhere else. Not surprisingly, that got his attention and we compromised. He'll ship to New York, but we've got to pay him the full amount, up front."

She could almost see him nod. "Makes sense. He figures if something goes wrong, he's still got the money."

"Yeah," she agreed. "It's a first time only deal, he said. To make up for the trust factor."

Stabler laughed humourlessly. "Money can buy you everything. So what's next?"

"Get Williams to set it up, like before. They'll exchange the money, then make the New York arrangements."

"Did he say how he's gonna ship?"

Benson shook her head. "No, but there's no doubt in my mind he's using kids. Bastard told me it was 'child's play'."

"Christ."

There was a brief moment of silence until Olivia asked, "Can I say something, between you and me?"

"You know you can."

"We're close to getting this guy, El, but not close enough. He's not going to come out and tell us when the drugs are leaving London or even when they're showing up in New York. He's only going to tell us where and when to meet his supplier. We've never found one of these kids alive. I'm not sure how comfortable I am, knowing I could be sending someone to their death, let alone a kid."

He knew her concern, because he felt the same way. "The difference is we've got a jump on him this time. We've always been a step behind because we've never been on the inside like this. Once we get this deal set up, Williams will have people around the clock watching this guy and his associates. They'll be watching the airports. We'll be doing the same here. We've got a better chance than we've ever had of nailing him."

"We need to I.D. the supplier before he gets to New York. We need the kid alive. And we need something from one of them to lead back to Weston."

There was a lot of room for things to go wrong and Stabler knew it. "You know we're gonna do everything we can. That's all we've got."

"I guess I want guarantees that aren't there," she sighed. Covering her eyes with her hand, she whispered, "I'm tired of finding dead kids, El."

"I know, Liv. I feel it, too."

"I know."

The phone beeped and a very helpful automated British voice informed Benson that she had one minute remaining on her card.

"Looks like I need to win some more pool games," she said, attempting to bring some light back into the conversation.

"What's that?" Elliot asked.

"I'll explain when I see you," she replied. "Call Williams. Tell him what's up."

"Call me tomorrow, if you can. I'll let you know what's goin' on."

"Okay."

"You're doin' great, Liv."

A hint of warmth came back to her smile. "Thanks, El." Hanging up the receiver, she pulled out the phone card and tossed it into a nearby garbage bin.

*-*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

It was the start of a brand new week, though that approach was reserved only for those on the outside of prison walls. Inside Larkhall, it was business as usual, right down to Nikki Wade having a book glued to her hand.

"Why are you always readin'?" Denny had asked at breakfast.

"Lots of reasons," Nikki replied, surprised at the question. "To better myself. To make sense of the world. And sometimes, just to remember there is a life outside these walls." She knew the young girl had been working hard to learn to read and write on the inside. "How are things coming along with your studies, Denny?"

The girl's face brightened. "Oh, brilliant! I wrote a letter to me mum the other day."

"Do you read books?"

"Not like those ones," Denny motioned to Nikki's thick novel. "I get a headache just lookin' at the size of that one."

Nikki laughed. "Well maybe when I'm done, we'll read it together."

"Yeah?"

"Sure."

"Thanks, Nikki." She saw Shaz wave at her from the other side of the room. Turning to Wade, she said, "I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Go on."

When Denny was out of earshot, Barbara said, "That was a very nice thing for you to do, Nikki."

"You're so damn quiet, Babs, I forgot you were here."

"Deflecting compliments as usual, I see. Speaking of which, I didn't see Olivia this morning."

"She was down here first thing," Nikki explained. "I think she wanted to hit the gym before everyone got going."

"Yes, she did attract quite a crowd last time."

Nikki searched the older woman's face for a sign of anything other than innocence, but found none. "You're a sly one, Barbara, I'll give you that."

The slight twitch of her mouth gave her away. "Age has its advantages."

"I bet." She gathered her dishes and book and stood up. "I'm going to wash up."

"Just in time for Olivia to be finished her exercises, no doubt. Perhaps slyness transcends age?"

"Perhaps," Nikki agreed, playing along. "I'll see you later."

She propped the tray of dishes against her left hip and flipped open the novel with her right hand. She passed through the door that separated the eating area from the residential wing and walked past the stairs on her way to her cell. She knew every square foot of the prison and this route by far required the least amount of attentiveness. So, with her nose in the book, Nikki didn't notice Shell approaching, and with the blonde nervously looking around to make sure Fenner wasn't nearby, there was an almost amusing near-miss of the two women as they reached the cell at the same time.

Nikki's head jerked up just in time and she retorted, "Watch it!"

"Piss off," Shell shot back.

"Whatever," she said, and turned to enter her cell, only to notice Shell doing the same. There was an awkward moment of stutter steps by the two cons, as each inched in the direction of the cell, but neither entering. Nikki had had enough. "What do you think you're doing? Get lost coming down from the threes?"

"Don't be pissy at me just because you're down here in the muck. Well, not entirely muck, is it? Your girlfriend's a bit of all right, in't she?"

"You mean Denny?" Nikki asked innocently.

Dockley scoffed. "As if Denny would touch you with a ten foot barge."

"She was closer than ten feet in the showers this morning when everyone left."

"Sod off," Shell glowered, unsure whether the brunette was joking or not. "I'm here to see Liv."

"What? Back to have your arse handed to you again?" Nikki sneered.

"Oh, haven't you heard?" Dockley asked, the malevolent edge unable to resist showing itself. "Me an' Liv have kissed and made up. I told her we're stuck with each other, so we might as well get on. We're best mates and all now."

"You're so full of shit, Dockley."

"You can ask her when you see her. Tell her I need to have a word."

Nikki made a face. "I'm not her bloody secretary. Go find her yourself."

Shell tapped the door frame with a painted fingernail. "I just might do that. Cheers."

Left alone in the cell, Nikki sat down in a nearby chair and wondered what the hell was going on.

 

*-*-*-*

 

Nikki had an odd sense of déjà vu when Benson entered the cell, robe tied around her waist, and her hair choppy and wet. This time, however, Nikki forced herself to concentrate on her book. She didn't need the distraction of Olivia's body clouding her judgment.

"Hey," Benson tossed over her shoulder as she dressed.

"Hey."

There must have been something in the tone, because as she tucked her white tee into her jeans, she stopped. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Nikki replied immediately, and tossing her book on the table, changed her mind just as quickly. "Yes." Olivia said nothing and instead waited for Nikki to continue. Wade stood up and paced the small cell, her brow furrowed and her thumbnail between her teeth. She didn't make eye contact with Benson as she sifted through her vocabulary to find the right words to convey her concerns, her suspicions, her fears. "What's going on with you and Shell Dockley?" was the best she could do.

Years of police work helped hide the surprise she felt hit her in the chest like a fist. "Sorry?"

Nikki stopped pacing and looked at Olivia with an unwavering gaze. "You and Shell Dockley," she repeated calmly. "She was here earlier, looking for you. Told me to tell you she wanted a chat. What about, I wonder?"

Olivia shook her head. "No idea."

"I know it's an odd question to ask considering the circumstances we find ourselves in, but do you respect me?"

"Respect you?" Benson echoed. "Of course I respect you."

"Then don't lie to me," she said simply.

"Nikki…"

"Is it drugs?"

Olivia was quiet for a moment, wondering what Dockley wanted. And more importantly, wondering what to tell Nikki.

The silence was seen as an admission of guilt by the lifer. "Shit!"

"Nikki, wait. It's not what you think."

Her laugh was a cold one. "Not what I think? I think you're in for drugs. I think Shell Dockley is up to her eyeballs in crank. I think one plus one is two. Tell me I'm wrong." It wasn't a plea as much as a dare.

Olivia stood up and put her hand on Nikki's arm. She tried not to flinch when Wade jerked her arm away. "Nikki. Will you please listen for one minute?"

"What? Listen to a smack head? Yeah, I'm sure I can believe every word that comes out of your mouth!"

"I'm a cop!" Benson whispered fiercely.

She might as well have slapped Nikki in the face. Under any other circumstances, her expression might have been a funny one. Her eyes widened like an animal caught in a beam of light and her mouth opened in shock. As the silence stretched between them, Olivia wondered what the other woman was thinking. Then, the most unusual thing happened - Nikki laughed. It started as a short cough of mirth that rolled into a chain of notes. Then, just as soon as it began, it ended, trailing off into a humourless whisper of air.

"You're having me on. A cop!"

Benson tried again to touch Nikki's arm, and the confession shocked the woman so much that she didn't notice the gesture. Keeping her voice to a bare whisper, she stressed, "Nikki, I know you don't have much reason to believe me, but I'm telling you the truth. I'm Detective Olivia Benson of the New York Police Department."

The wheels seemed to start turning again in Nikki's head, because the fire returned to her eyes. Misinterpreting what Olivia was saying, Wade snorted, "Why does that not surprise me? Bloody cops are bent no matter where you go!"

Benson turned her head slightly, puzzled. "What?"

"A cop, in prison for drug possession. That's a good one. No wonder you told me you were a shrink. People find out you're a cop and that's it for you, isn't it? So you come in here, make up some bullshit story, and carry on as if you're on the outside." Nikki shook her head. "You'd think prison would put a damper on your habit, but no, you pick it right back up, and with Shell Dockley of all bloody people. All these women who've come to trust you in such a short time. Barbara. Yvonne. Denny. The two Julies. What are you going to tell them? Or are you going to keep lying to them?" Nikki tilted her head towards the door. "Maybe I should tell them. What do you think?" She made her way in that direction when Benson twisted the lifer's arm behind her back and pushed her face down onto the table.

"Ow! Get the fuck off me!"

Benson bent over Wade's back, her weight holding the other woman down until she stopped fighting. With her mouth pressed against Nikki's ear, Benson whispered, "I don't want to hurt you, but will you shut up for one fucking minute?" She waited for Nikki to nod before standing up and letting the other woman do the same.

"Ow," she repeated, rubbing her arm.

"I'm sorry," Benson said truthfully. "Sit, please."

Nikki hesitated for a second, then thought better of it. Dropping herself unceremoniously onto the wooden chair, she barely looked up. "So?"

Benson slipped into the opposite chair and leaned forward. "Yes, I am a cop. But I'm not here because of a drug charge." She sucked in her breath and knew it was now or never. "I'm undercover." This bit of information made Nikki snap to attention, just as she suspected it would.

"You what?"

"I told you the truth. I'm a detective for the NYPD. I work in a division called Special Victims Unit. We only deal with cases that are sexually based or involve children. I'm here on a case."

"Here in Larkhall?" Nikki asked incredulously. "A bit out of your jurisdiction, isn't it?"

Although she could still hear the thread of suspicion wind through Nikki's words, she also knew the worst of it was over. "It's a case that has roots in England."

"No cops in England since I've been banged up?"

"We've got one on the outside helping out, but we were worried if we put anyone on the inside that they'd get recognized by someone. Besides," Olivia let herself show a cold smirk, "I'm not inclined to trust anyone else to do the job."

"I still don't know what job that is and what all this has to do with Shell Dockley."

"Before I say anything else, I want to make one thing clear." She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her fingertips against her temple before continuing. "I've already said way too much, you understand that, right? I have broken the most important rule of undercover work - I've broken cover. In the best circumstances, that would mean I've blown everything I've worked hard to achieve. In the worst circumstances, that would mean my life. You know that if this gets out, I won't last to the end of the day. You know that, right?"

"I do."

"Then I guess the rest doesn't matter." She looked down at her hands. "For the last six months, my partner and I have been working on a drug case in New York. There hasn't been much to go on, but through some hard work and gut hunches, we found out this much - the heroin tied to our case is coming into New York from London."

"I thought you said you only dealt with sexual cases and kids," Nikki interrupted.

"We do," Olivia replied. "The drugs are coming into New York with kids. One kid at a time with a 'guardian'." She looked up into Nikki's eyes. "They're using the kids as drug mules."

"Makes sense, I guess," Wade said. "No one would think of checking a moppet."

Benson ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "If only it were that simple." She had gone this far; there was no sense in stopping now. "They're making the kids swallow condoms full of heroin to bypass customs. Then the supplier who is traveling with the kid takes him somewhere, an abandoned building, an alley, anywhere they can get the kid alone and without witnesses... and… extracts the condoms."

"Extracts? Like, what, making him shit? What are we talking about here?"

"Nikki, they don't wait that long. Too much of a risk that the condoms will burst in the stomach. So they," her voice wavered for a fraction of a second before she found her strength, "they cut the condoms out of the kid. From sternum to pubic bone, and straight across the abdomen. They pull the condoms out and leave the kid to bleed to death."

The colour in Nikki's face drained away and her body jerked as her gag reflex kicked in. She barely made it to the toilet before throwing up in violent heaves. Benson jumped up and filled a cup with water at the sink before kneeling down beside the toilet. With a hand on Nikki's back, she handed the woman the water.

"Here, take this." The lifer took the cup in a shaky hand. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you. Or at least, I should have found a better way to tell you."

Nikki drank the water and put her hand on her stomach, willing it to settle. Reaching blindly behind her, she grabbed the nearby towel and wiped her mouth. "How can there be a better way to tell me they're making kids swallow drugs then butchering them to get them back?" She took a couple of deep breaths. "Bastards."

Olivia helped her to her feet and walked them to the bed. They sat side by side and didn't say anything for a long time.

"You still haven't told me what this has to do with Dockley."

Benson had been enjoying the silence and comfort of sitting beside Nikki. The con could almost make her forget the reason she was here. She should have known it was never that easy.

"When we traced the drugs back to London, we got as far as finding out the name of the guy controlling the supply. Weston. But we didn't have anything definitive to tie him to the kids. We had to go through hundreds of channels just to figure out who he was. But found nothing that would hold up in court, and nothing that would hold him responsible for the murders. We didn't know how to get closer without raising suspicion. Too many cops are in the pockets of these guys, and it's not like we can just show up on his doorstep and say, 'Hey, wanna deal me some drugs?' That kind of operation usually takes years. It was through one of the links that we found Billy Murdock - Shell Dockley's drug dealer on the outside. He's lowlife; a street thug who's just another cog in the wheel. We figured we could use him to get inside. We watched him for over a month. Every move, every deal he made."

"That's how you found out about Dockley."

Olivia nodded. "Yep. She's got a fairly steady diet of drugs coming into Larkhall. We thought that was our best shot."

Nikki gave this some thought before asking, "Why not just approach him directly?"

"We weren't sure we wouldn't scare him off. Like I said, we couldn't get anyone local to do it without worrying they'd be recognized, and we didn't think an American would be much better."

"Yeah, as soon as you opened your mouth, it would raise questions," Wade agreed.

"You got it. But by putting me here, establishing a criminal background of drugs… well, we had nothing to lose, did we?" Benson stood up and walked over to the sink to pour herself a cup of water. She hadn't counted on talking this much, but she wanted Nikki to know everything, and she knew even if she didn't, the lifer would question her until she did. Despite the circumstances, the thought made Olivia smile. Returning back to the bed, cup in hand, she sat down beside Nikki once again.

"So you got yourself banged up here in order to get friendly with Dockley, hoping it would get you into bed with this Billy, which would then get you into bed with this Weston bastard."

"Figuratively speaking, yes," Benson answered, pleased at how quickly Nikki's mind worked. It made things that much easier.

Nikki must have seen the appreciative look on Benson's face, because she flashed a smile for the first time since Olivia entered the cell. "I am a criminal, you know."

"I know."

The significance of Nikki's remark and Benson's reply was not lost on them. In an attempt to delay that conversation a little while longer, Nikki shifted the topic back to Benson.

"Have you had any luck?"

"More than we would have guessed, actually. I talked to Weston today."

"You what?"

Benson's expression acknowledged Nikki's surprise. "I know. I was just as shocked."

"I thought you said these things can take years to develop."

The cop shrugged. "We took a chance and made a push. Basically told him he wasn't the only game in town."

"You made him think you were willing to go through someone else, even though he was the guy you really wanted," Nikki surmised.

"Yep."

As layer after layer of the case peeled away, Nikki couldn't hide her interest. It was a knotted string meant to be unraveled, and she couldn't resist the challenge. "So what happened? I take it he went for it?"

"He did," Benson confirmed. "We started with an ounce last week, just to test the waters. Today he agreed to send a kilo to New York, with the idea of shipping more in the future. Well, his idea, anyway. With any luck, we won't need it."

Nikki's face was pensive. "Can I ask you something?"

"I think we've established that, yeah."

"How many of these kids have you found?" she asked quietly.

Benson looked down into her cup, then glanced up at the ceiling before looking at Nikki. "In six months, we've found five bodies. We suspect there's more and we just haven't found them yet."

"Bloody hell," Nikki whispered. She closed her eyes briefly, then said, "Wait a minute. How can he send these kids without someone missing them? Wouldn't it raise suspicion, these kids disappearing?"

"From the little we could find, these kids are homeless, probably looking for a few extra bucks, thinking they'll get a trip to America out of the deal. Or kids of immigrants who either don't speak the language or are too afraid to announce the fact that they're here illegally. The parents are offered some money and don't know where to turn to when their child doesn't come back. And if they do find the right channels, it means deportation."

Nikki sneered in displeasure. "If I had a kid gone missing, I'd tell them to screw deportation and find my child."

"I understand, Nikki," Olivia agreed gently, "but you have to remember that sometimes where they've come from is a hell of a lot worse than where they are. And fear will do funny things to people."

"It wouldn't make me forget my kid, I'll tell you that much." She took a few breaths to soften her edge. "So you've set up a deal with this Weston bloke and he's agreed to ship the drugs to New York."

"Yes."

"So another child could die."

This was the crux of the dilemma Benson had shared with Stabler. How do you get guarantees when nothing is certain? She opened her mouth to give Nikki some party line about how they'd do the best they could and that their chances were better this time, but she didn't have that kind of confidence. It sounded so much better coming from Elliot. Instead, she said simply, "I don't know. We hope we've got everything covered, but… I don't know."

"And you can live with that?"

Benson stood up and finished the rest of her water. Placing the cup on the ledge of the sink, she looked at her reflection in the small mirror above the taps. "I live with shit like this every day."

Though Nikki knew the words could do little to take away the weight of Olivia's burden, she said them anyway. "I'm sorry." When there was no reply, she pushed herself up and sat on the edge of the table, facing Benson. "Who else knows about this?"

Olivia turned and leaned against the sink. "My co-workers on the unit and a small handful of cops here in London."

"No one else?" Nikki asked. "Not Miss Betts? Not any of the screws?"

"No," Benson answered, shaking her head, "we figured the less people that knew the better. I didn't want even a hint that I was getting preferential treatment here. And we're a tight-knit bunch back home - we don't trust just anybody. Who knows who's in Weston's back pocket?"

"Thank you. For trusting me."

"Did I have a choice?" Benson asked, feigning defeat. "Nosy parker."

Nikki choked back a cough of surprise. "I prefer 'naturally inquisitive', thanks." Sharing a smile with Olivia, she then said, "I've got a question."

"Colour me surprised."

Wade ignored the jibe and asked, "On your first day here, did you set up that entire dust-up with Dockley?"

"No. That was sheer luck. I had planned on giving it a couple of days before I approached her."

"Well, your Bruce Lee makes so much more sense now." Her smile lingered for a bit, until she got serious again. "I've got another question. Do you really have someone on the outside waiting for you?"

Benson hadn't been expecting that one. "No," she answered truthfully.

Nikki pressed her lips together and shook her head. "I suppose I can see why you lied. God knows it must have shattered your moral code to be attracted to a crim." She chuckled derisively at the thought. "In fact, that must have been a bit of an ethical dilemma for you, yeah? What with you being a cop and me being a cop killer. Did you know that? That I killed one of yours?"

Benson pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. "Nikki, one day you're going to break your ankles jumping to conclusions." Sighing, she opened her eyes. "First, it's not always about you. Second, of course I knew what you were in for; I knew before I got here. Just like I know what Yvonne's in for. And Dockley. And about fifteen other prisoners here. You don't think they'd just drop me in here, unprepared, do you?" She didn't wait for an answer. "And do you really think I couldn't have gotten myself moved to another cell, even without any of the higher ups knowing who I was? Do you?"

Embarrassed, Nikki's eyes dropped to the floor. "No, I suppose not. So why didn't you? Get moved to another cell, I mean."

"Nikki…" She moved closer to the woman and reached out to touch her arm, repeating the same action as she had done earlier. This time, it was a much different gesture. She waited until the lifer lifted her head. Looking right into her eyes, Benson said, "I read your file, Nikki. And believe me, as sad as it is to say, your case isn't unique, especially for me. Yeah, my first instinct was to approach with caution and probably with more than a bit of distrust," she admitted. "But I'm a cop. You've got to understand why I would think the worst first. But if I've learned one thing, it's that things aren't always the way they appear. If Gossard hadn't been a cop, would I have felt the same? If I simply read the case on its own merit, would I still assign blame? Yeah, I would. On him. If I saw some piece of shit try to rape my girlfriend, would I have done the same as you? You better fucking believe it. Except I might have broken some bones first."

Wade was stunned at the admission; at all the admissions. "I… I don't know what to say."

"Thank Christ, she's run out of questions!" She let go of Nikki's arm and said, "Listen. I've got to go see what Dockley wants. Are you and me okay?"

"Yeah," Nikki answered. "I'm glad you told me, Liv. I mean, I'm not glad for the situation, but I'm… I'm just glad you told me."

"Me, too," Benson admitted. "And I know I don't have to tell you this, but I will anyway. You cannot breathe a word of this to anyone. Not Yvonne. Not Barbara. Not anyone."

Wade nodded. "I know. You can trust me, I promise." She gave a little laugh. "Listen to me, promising not to dob in a cop. There goes my reputation."

"I won't tell if you won't," Olivia smiled back. She walked to the door, then turned. "And Nikki, I didn't lie to you about having someone on the outside because I had some moral objection to being attracted to a cop killer. I did it because I wanted to avoid distractions." She gave the con an overt look from head to toe. "Not that I've had any luck there." With that, Olivia left, leaving Nikki rooted to the spot, her mouth agape.

 

*-*-*-*

 

As she walked up the metal stairs to G3, Benson could tell her emotional equilibrium was wildly out of sync, and she willed herself to get it in check. She hadn't expected to feel such a wave of relief for telling Nikki the truth. She never would have thought blowing her cover would end up feeling so good. And yet, she was also faced with the harrowing reality of the case. Within a couple of days, the deal would be set and they'd have to face the biggest risk of the entire operation. Even after all these years, after hundreds of cases, she could never shake that anxiety that ate away at her. It didn't help to know she'd be stuck here, thousands of miles away; not knowing what was going on, not knowing if they failed or succeeded until it was all over. And now she had Shell Dockley on top of everything else.

The door of the cell was open and when Benson took a quick glance inside, she found it empty. Turning to head back downstairs, she bumped right into the blonde.

"Oi!" Dockley barked. "I've been looking for you."

"So I've heard," Benson replied flatly.

Dockley looked around then pushed Benson into the cell. "Fenner thinks something's up."

"Then maybe you shouldn't be visiting my cell, where everyone can see you."

Shell snorted. "Sweetheart, you learn nothing stays a secret very long round here."

"So?"

"So?" she repeated. "So, what are you gonna do about it?"

Olivia crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall. "What would you like me to do? If nothing stays secret, then there's not much I can do, is there?"

"Well, you'd best get Fenner off my back. I'm not about to get seven shades of shit beat out of me for a seppo. Anyway, I just got this bloody cell back and I'm not about to lose my privileges just so's you can run some smack operation on the outside."

"Shell, I don't give a shit about your little privileges or anything else for that matter. You should be more concerned about keeping me happy."

"And you should be more concerned about your little girlie not finding out," Dockley shot back.

Benson pushed herself off the wall. Smiling, she asked, "You mean Nikki? She already knows, Shell."

"You're having me on."

"I told her five minutes before I came up here."

"You what?"

"I know it might be a foreign concept to you, Shell, but honesty really is the best policy. And getting the jump on some little weasel who thinks they're going to turn things around on you is the next best thing."

Shell looked dumbfounded. "You're winding me up! I don't believe you."

"Believe what you want, Shell, but definitely believe this - don't ever fucking threaten me again, understand?"

"Yeah, whatever," Dockley replied, then seeing the menacing look from Benson, repeated, "Yeah, I said, Jesus."

In hindsight, Benson would chastise herself for letting Dockley off the hook, and would recognize this conversation as the moment she took her foot off the tiger's tail, ever so slightly. But for now, with her mind on the case and all its possibilities and implications, she let it slip by.

*-*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

 

"So what did the princess want?" Nikki asked when Olivia returned to the cell.

Instead of answering, Benson said, "You wanna go for a walk? Get some air?"

Nikki tossed her book on the bed. "Sure."

The two women had stepped outside and felt the warmth of the sun on their faces. On a good day, Nikki could lounge in the yard after an hour of working in the shed, her overalls off her shoulders and her arms bare to the sun. On a good day, she could pretend she was anywhere but here. Right now, however, she was thinking more of the woman who walked beside her.

"You okay?"

Benson came out of her reverie. "Hmm?" Realizing she had been out of it, she smiled apologetically. "Sorry."

"Shell Dockley?"

"No," she shook her head, "though I'm beginning to realize I can't trust her as far as I can spit. Which in and of itself wouldn't be a problem, but I've got other things to worry about besides her bitching."

"The case."

Benson smiled again. "You've got all those books and so little vocabulary."

Nikki bumped shoulders with her in jest. "Well, now that I know you're a cop and not a doctor, I'm worried you won't understand all the big words."

"Very funny." She rubbed her forehead and became serious once more. "This case, you know. Just too many things that can go wrong. Too many scenarios to play out in my head; too many columns and rows. If this happens, then this or this can happen. If that happens, we're left with that or that."

"And in all those scenarios, you're not in them." Benson raised her eyebrow at Nikki's remark. The lifer leaned closer. "Come on. You came 3000 miles to go undercover in a prison because you didn't trust anyone else to do it. Now you're here and it's all happening over there. That must be making you barmy."

"Remind me which one of us was pretending to be the shrink?" They walked up to a newly planted row of flowers and they stopped. "Geraniums?"

"Very good. Geranium endressi. I like them because they're not fussy about where they're planted." She gently touched one. "They're pretty, but they're a hardy lot."

"I don't know my plants from my weeds," Benson admitted, "I just guessed. But they seem like an appropriate flower for you." She also reached down and touched one. "These are lovely. Well done, Nikki."

"You'll have to help me plant the rest. Before you go."

The cop shouldn't have been surprised to discover Nikki had thought that far ahead –that despite never asking Benson, she knew her stay at Larkhall was to be a short-lived one. It was something Olivia herself had almost forgotten, having gotten so caught up in it all.

"Yeah, I will," Olivia softly agreed.

Nikki bent forward and touched the soil that always seemed to be a comfort to her. Standing up, she wiped her hands on her jeans and asked, "What's next?"

"I've got to win a phone card off Shaz, phone my partner, then… wait, I guess," Benson answered as they resumed walking.

"Poor Shaz. Though I secretly suspect she started losing on purpose just to get on your good side."

"Not a chance," Olivia scoffed.

Nikki laughed then reached into her back pocket. She handed her cellmate a plastic card. "Here."

Taking the offering, Olivia asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," the lifer answered, "what do I need it for?"

Quietness passed between them. "Thanks," Olivia said at last.

"Go on," Nikki said, tilting her head in the direction of the door. "Don't be too long, though. I hear it's the Chef's Super Surprise tonight."

"Oh, I can't wait," she drawled. Before the lifer could respond with a further quip, Olivia leaned forward and kissed her full on the mouth. "Thanks," she said again, "for everything." She quickly turned and jogged towards the steps, and for the second time that day, she left Nikki stock-still and stunned.

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Detective Stabler, SVU."

Benson laughed. "How did you know it was me?"

"How do you know I haven't taken your advice?"

"Yeah, right."

"When you phone, there's a funny click just before the call's connected," he confessed. "I've gotten used to it."

"Are you saying I call too much?"

Now he laughed. "Nah, you know that's not what I meant."

She got down to business. "Any word?"

"Nothing yet."

"Nothing?" she echoed incredulously.

"Liv," he soothed, "you only talked to him yesterday. We're not talking about an ounce here. And there's more at stake for him than a kilo of drugs. I'm sure he's going over this with a fine tooth comb." When she didn't reply, he went on, "You admitted it yourself; you were surprised at how fast this is going. So maybe give it a bit of time."

She sighed. "You're right. I know it. I just… wanna get this over with, you know?"

"Everything okay there?"

She didn't bother getting into the whole business with Dockley. "Yeah, yeah, it's fine. That's not what I meant. I just want this case over with."

"You and me both, partner."

"So I guess I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Call me after dinner, your time," he suggested. "If he's gonna set anything up, I'm sure Weston'll probably want to make sure our guy can contact me at a half decent New York hour. Even if that's lunch for me, it won't be until after five your time."

"Okay."

He heard the restlessness in her voice. "Relax, Liv. There's nothing you or me or anybody else can do until Weston makes his move. You've done all you can. Now we just wait."

"Okay," she repeated, but with more certainty in her voice.

"Good. Why don't you hit the gym, work off that energy, give the girls something to talk about?"

She couldn't help but smile at how quickly he could lighten the load off her shoulders. "Been there, done that, El. Keep up, would you?"

"You never told me that!" The hurt in his voice was an obvious ruse. "We're gonna have a long talk when you get back."

"And a strong coffee," she added.

"And a strong coffee," he echoed.

"Your treat."

"You got it."

 

*-*-*-*

 

"I'd save that long face 'til you've tried the latest dish," Yvonne said to Benson when the American sate down at the table.

Nikki lifted her fork. "I've got a quid or a card that says it's supposed to be tuna casserole."

Atkins made a face then looked at Olivia. "You all right, love?"

"What? Oh, yeah, sorry. Just had a talk with my lawyer. Nothing yet." She glanced at Nikki, who picked up on the hidden meaning immediately.

"That's too bad," Barbara consoled. "Did he say anything at all?"

Benson shrugged. "He wants me to call him back tomorrow. Who knows?"

"Bastards don't know their arseholes from a hole in the ground," griped Yvonne.

Nikki was still examining her fork. "Sometimes it's just a matter of time."

Laughing, Atkins conceded the point. "Well, we got plenty of that, don't we, girls? And I'll see your bet, Miss Wade and venture that this is chicken."

Nikki waved over the two Julies who were wiping down tables. Holding up her fork, she asked the two kitchen workers, "Julies. Liv here would like to make a recipe book of all these wonderful Larkhall dishes to send back to America. This would be what, exactly?"

In unison, they replied, "Tuna casserole."

"Thank you, Julies," Nikki said. Winking at Olivia, she held her hand out towards Yvonne. "I'll take the phone card, please."

 

*-*-*-*

 

Although Olivia had initially assumed the opposite, Nikki had been right –the prison was never truly silent at any time, even when the women had turned in for lock-up. Darkness descended on Larkhall, but not silence. Out of the shadows, Jim Fenner crept silently towards the cell of Shell Dockley. A quick glance around assured him no one had seen him, and as stealthily as possible, he turned the key in the lock and slipped inside the cell.

As soon as she had heard the key, she knew who it was. "Mr. Fenner," she whispered seductively. "I've been waiting for you. You didn't pay me a visit last night."

He grinned lecherously at her pouting expression. "I'm here now, love." When she crooked her finger at him, he slid onto the bed and kissed her. "Happy to see me?"

"Oh, yes, sir," she answered and ran her hand down his chest to his pants. "The question is, are you happy to see me?" Feeling his evident bulge, she pretended to be surprised. "Oh, look what I found!"

"The question is, what are you going to do to keep me happy?"

The question so clearly echoed Benson's earlier statement that Shell couldn't have planned it better if she tried. Her face fell and she sighed heavily.

"What's the matter?" Fenner asked, poised on his palms.

"Nothing," she said, knowing her denial would only fuel his curiosity.

"Don't play coy, Shell, spit it out."

She sighed again, as if getting the words out was a chore. "It's just that American, right?" Looking up, she checked to see if she had his interest. Even in the dim light through the window, she could see his eyes narrow as he listened intently. Knowledge was power, and in Larkhall, Fenner ruled because of it. "I got to thinking about what you said. You know, that she was in for drugs and all. I figures, why not be mates, me and her?"

"That's your problem, Shell," he muttered, "you start doing stupid things like thinking."

She had to give him his due, she thought; he had nerve, considering his balls were in her hand. Pretending not to be offended, she carried on, "I thought me and her could team up, you know, do a bit of business together." His eyes became small slits of menace until she quickly added, "I would have told you, sir, I just wanted to find out first, right? Didn't want to waste your time; I know how busy you are." She stroked his crotch to soothe his suspicion.

"And what was the outcome of this master plan, then?"

"She told me to piss off!" Shell answered, her indigence carefully measured. "Told me she had bigger things to do than pair up with a little fish like me."

Fenner frowned. "What'd she mean by that?"

"I can't understand half of what she'd going on about with that accent, but," she whispered conspiratorially, "I heard through some mates of mine that she's got someone on the outside getting her kit in."

"You're wrong," Fenner replied, shaking his head. "She hasn't had a visitor since she got banged up."

"I'm just telling you what I've heard, Mr. Fenner. But she wasn't sniffing sugar when I caught her in the loo the other day, I'll tell you that much."

"Why didn't you report her?"

"She saw me! Told me she'd feed me my own tits if I grassed on her." She could almost see the wheels turning in his mind and decided she had done enough. The seed had been planted and she knew he couldn't let some American tart get the jump on him. If there was one thing she learned while in prison, it was to never try to get one past Jim Fenner. The bloody screw found out every damn thing eventually, and if it wasn't in his favour, he'd make sure it wasn't in yours, either. She knew one other thing –she didn't want to be Olivia Benson.

Pleased she had set the wheels in motion, she unzipped his pants and said, "Let's forget about her; I'm sorry I brought it up." Her hand slipped into his underwear and she winked, "Oooh! Looks like I brought something else up. What are we going to do about it, eh?"

 

*-*-*-*

 

Two floors down, there was another prisoner who wasn't getting much sleep, but it had nothing to do with any carnal activity, though Benson almost wished it had. Instead, the images of kids, with their broken bodies and vacant eyes prodded her subconscious from slipping into the blissful nothingness of sleep. When morning finally arrived, she knew she had barely slept more than an hour or two. And if she needed the confirmation, her cellmate was more than willing to give it to her.

"You look like shit," Nikki said by way of greeting.

"Good morning to you, too," Benson grumbled in return.

Nikki softened her expression. "The case?"

"Yeah."

Tossing a towel in Benson's direction, she said, "Come on. Have a shower, maybe you'll feel better. And if nothing else, the other women in the showers will thank you."

Benson couldn't help but laugh. "Before I know it, you'll be pimping me out."

"If I thought I could keep up with the demand…"

"Get moving," Benson ordered, though her smile betrayed her.

She had to admit, she did feel better after the shower, the hot water washing away the weight of the night, until prison regulations kicked in and turned the water cold. Even then, she steeled herself under the icy spray for another five minutes before she finally stepped out. Olivia wasn't surprised to find she was the last prisoner in the showers, and she quickly wrapped a robe around her body and caught up with the rest of the prisoners as they were shepherded back to their wing.

"I don't know how you stand it," Nikki commented, referring to Benson's cold shower routine.

Olivia shrugged. "Keeps me alert."

"Try getting more vitamin B."

"Thanks, Dr. Wade," she smiled.

"Well," Nikki said, leaning in, "two can play the doctor game."

That was an hour ago, and in the meantime, Nikki had gone outside and Olivia agreed to help her with the last batch of flowers that needed to be potted. She had just turned to join her when the dark figure of Jim Fenner blocked the doorway. There were times when not breaking cover was a bad thing. Seeing the look in his eyes, Benson knew this was going to be a very, very bad thing.

 

*-*-*-*

 

She tasted the warm metallic tinge of blood in her mouth and the cold concrete floor against her forehead, as she curled up in the fetal position and tried to protect herself from the kick she knew was coming. Sure enough, a large boot found its way between her arms and her knees, connecting soundly with her ribs.

"Now listen closely," whispered the menacing voice of Jim Fenner, low into her ear. "A little birdie told me you've been trying to run a little show behind my back. Now, you're new and I've taken that into consideration. So consider this a generous warning –nothing goes on in here without going through me first. Whatever business you think you're running is my business. Is that perfectly clear, my American beauty?"

Olivia could only nod her head weakly and breathe out an affirmative answer between clenched teeth.

"Good. Now clean yourself up and we'll start fresh, yeah?" He didn't even bother to wait for her answer.

As she lay there on the hard floor, the beat of her heart magnifying every bruise on her body, she wondered why she hadn't seen this coming.

 

*-*-*-*

 

She barely crawled her way to bed and rolled onto the lower bunk when she heard the voice of Nikki as she entered the cell.

"Did you get –" Wade stopped in her tracks when she saw Benson on the bed, her back to the door. "What's going on here, then?"

"Sorry, Nik," came the muffled response, "I just felt sick all of a sudden."

"Well don't deposit your stomach contents on my bed!" When her quip didn't get the amused response she had intended, she walked over to the bunk and sat on the edge. There was a meaning in Benson's curled body language and Nikki knew then that the woman was serious. "Is there anything I can do to help, Liv?"

Olivia shook her head and mumbled, "No. I'm fine." She paused, then changed her mind. "Oh, shit!" Scrambling to get up from the bed, she pushed Nikki away, who stood up quickly from the action.

In a crouch, Benson rushed to the open toilet. She hadn't lied when she told Nikki she felt sick –the pain in her ribs set off a nauseous chain that ended in the bottom of her stomach. Dropping to the floor, she cradled her ribs with her left arm and used her right hand to brace herself against the wall. The heaves that racked her body did nothing to help the pain, but her stomach ignored the pleas of her nerve endings. Nikki knelt beside her and said nothing, and instead chose to soothe the cop by rubbing her back and simply waiting for it to pass. When it looked like the worst was over, Nikki wet a face cloth with cool water and gingerly began wiping Olivia's face.

"Attractive, huh?" the American asked ruefully.

"Happens to the best of us," Nikki replied. "In fact, I believe we're now even." For the first time, she was able to get a good look at Olivia, and noticed the scrape above her right eye. "What's this, then?"

Benson unconsciously reached up and touched the broken skin where her forehead had grated across the concrete floor. "Nothing," she answered, and tried to stand up. Even with her arm protecting herself, the movement sent a jolt of pain to her ribs. She tried not to flinch and nearly ground her teeth to dust. The motion didn't go unnoticed by Nikki.

Tenderly touching Olivia's arm, she softly asked, "Let me see."

Reluctantly, Benson dropped her arm and let Nikki lift the hem of her t-shirt until it came up under her bust. She knew it would look worse later, but even now, if Nikki's expression was any indicator, the damage was ugly.

"Jesus Christ!" Nikki exclaimed when she saw the dark purple stain making its way across Benson's ribs and towards her abdomen. "Who did this?" she demanded. "Was it Shell Dockley?"

"No," Olivia winced.

Realizing the pain the other woman was in, Nikki walked her over to the bed and laid her down. Benson made a motion to reject the offer, but Nikki gently but firmly pressed her shoulder down. "Stay." When it looked like Olivia would agree, Wade asked again, "Who did this?"

"Just let it go, Nikki, please."

Nikki clenched her teeth, then nodded her head. "It was that bastard Fenner." The way she said it, it was a statement, not a question. Olivia looked away, only confirming the guess. "Bastard! I'll kill him."

Olivia quickly turned to look at Nikki. "No. You stay away from him." Nikki's jaw clenched and her eyes smouldered. "Nikki, look at me." Wade glanced down to Benson. "If you're serious about your appeal, you'll stay away from him. You cannot afford to get a reprimand on your record, do you understand?" Nikki looked away again and gave a half-hearted shrug. Olivia would not be deterred. Through clenched teeth, she wheezed, "Do you understand how important it is to keep your nose clean?" There was still no answer from the lifer. "Do you know how guilty I would feel if I was responsible in any way for fucking up your appeal?"

"Yeah," Nikki finally answered.

"Good. Besides, you're the only person I trust. If you got sent to the Block, I'd be on my own."

"Looks like you were on your own without me in the Block," Nikki sneered.

"I don't expect you to be my body guard, you know. And you can't protect me twenty-four hours a day anyway. If it wasn't this morning, it would have been some other time."

"Yeah, I suppose. Fucked up world when you can trust a cop killer but not one of your own." She touched the bruise above Benson's eye. "Right. I'm here now, aren't I? And the least I can do is get you some proper medical help."

"Nikki…"

"Don't worry," she said, "I'm not going to tell anyone. But that doesn't mean I can't improvise, either." She stood up and took Olivia's shoes off. "Stay here, get comfortable. If I come back and find you've been moving around, it will make me incredibly cross."

"Where are you going?"

A familiar grin tugged at the corner of Nikki's mouth. "I'm going to go play doctor."

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Jules!"

The tall blonde looked up from her mopping duty in the kitchen to see Nikki leaning in the doorway. "Hiya, Nikki."

Nikki waved her over to the door. "I need you to do me a favour," she whispered.

The secrecy of Wade's tone made the woman lean closer. "What is it?"

"No questions. I need a bag of frozen vegetables."

Julie pulled back in surprise. "You what? Frozen vegetables?"

"Shhhh," Nikki admonished. "Yes, frozen vegetables."

"What for?"

"Did you miss the bit about no questions?"

Julie made a face at the sarcasm. "Very funny. But I'd like to know why I'm nicking a bag of frozen veggies before I do the deed, you know. Just in case I'm pulled in front of Miss Betts and all."

Nikki thought fast on her feet and said, "Liv got a bit too aggressive in the gym; she sprained her wrist on the punching bag."

"Oh, I can see that!" Julie agreed. "You playing nurse, Nikki?"

"Jules…" the lifer warned.

The blonde would have none of it and laughed. "That's not really my cup of tea, as you know, but I could see why she'd float your boat if you were into that sort of thing."

"Jules…"

"Right. A bag of frozen vegetables. Can you give us about ten? Just so's we don't get caught."

"Sure thing," Nikki replied. "Thanks, Julie."

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Why've you got your head in the freezer?"

Julie jumped and turned to find her namesake standing behind her. "No time for explanations now, Jules. We're doing a favour for Nikki, who's doing a favour for Olivia."

The shorter Julie raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Do tell!"

"Come on, help me hide this and we'll go find out."

"Where the bloody hell you gonna put that?"

 

*-*-*-*

 

She re-entered the cell and made sure Benson hadn't moved.

"I haven't moved," the cop said, her eyes closed.

"You listened to orders? I bet that's a first."

Olivia lifted her lids enough to glare at the woman. "Your bedside manner could use some work, Florence."

"Good thing you're here for me to practice on, then," Nikki quipped.

A lazy grin touched her mouth. "Where did you go? I don't see anything I would consider medical or medicinal."

"They're on order."

As if on cue, the two Julies knocked on the door and poked their heads inside.

"Is it all right –"

" –for us to come in?"

"Sure thing, Julies."

The two women shuffled in, very nearly joined at the hip. Though it was common to see them attached this way, it also disguised a more covert reason. Reaching under her shirt between her body and her cellmate, Julie J pulled out a small package wrapped up in a towel. With their two bodies wedged together, the lump had been carefully obscured.

"Got something for that wrist, Liv."

Benson glanced at Nikki, who looked down at Olivia's left arm, which was still nestled gingerly across her stomach. Nikki reached over and took the towel from Julie before either of the two Js could get a closer look. She unravelled the package and smiled when she saw the small bag of frozen peas.

"You're the bee's knees, Jules."

The shorter Julie coughed and held out her closed hand. When Nikki raised her eyebrow questioningly, the woman smiled and uncurled her fingers. Resting on her palm were four small white tablets.

"Paracetamol," Julie crowed.

Nikki reached forward and lifted them between her finger tips. "Where in the world did you get these?"

"Do you know Angie –"

" –the girl who's in for setting fire to her bastard ex-husband's place?"

Flipping through her memory banks, the name and the offence rang a bell. "The one with the patch over her eye?" Nikki asked.

"That's the one," the two Julies said in tandem.

"I gave her some cigarettes the other day," Benson recalled.

"And you didn't make fun of that horrible patch," Julie S added.

Julie J nodded. "You've got a friend there, Liv."

"The paracetamol, girls?" Nikki asked, attempting to get them back on track.

"Oh, right. Angie works in the infirmary."

"We thought we'd give it a go, see? And sure enough, she was there."

"And happy to help her friend."

Nikki's eyes went back and forth between the two women as they explained how they came into possession of four pain killers that would normally only be given after pulling the teeth of the incompetent Doctor Nicholson.

There must have been something in Nikki's expression, because Julie J said, "It's not like you were going to get any out of Dr. No-No, was it?"

Benson, too, was trying to keep track of the conversation. "Dr. No-No?"

"So called because when you ask him if he knows what's wrong or tell him you need medicine, that's his answer," Nikki explained. "Here, put this on your wrist and I'll get you some water."

Olivia took the towel and rested it on her wrist. "Thanks you guys. I owe you."

The two Julies blushed and brushed away the compliment. "It was nothing, Liv."

"Nothing at all."

"Nikki would have done it for us –"

" –and has done more for us."

Again in unison, they said, "It was our pleasure."

Julie S looked over at Nikki. "If you need anything else, Nikki, just let us know."

After the women left, Nikki returned to the bed with a cup of water. "I think I need one of those for my headache."

"Be nice," Benson admonished, "they're good people."

Nikki smiled. "They are." She re-adjusted the towel gently across Olivia's side. "Julie J asked me what the vegetables were for; I told her you sprained your wrist in the gym."

"I figured it was something like that."

"Does it hurt to breathe?"

"Yes," she admitted, "but I don't think anything's broken, if that's what you're asking."

"Okay. Take two of these," Nikki ordered, as she held out two of the tablets.

"And call you in the morning?"

"If you could only get rid of me that easily. I'm going to be sitting right over there, doing some reading. You're going to be getting some sleep. I'll wake you up in plenty of time for tea."

"I'm not tired," she argued.

Nikki could barely contain her eye roll. "You were lucky if you got two hours sleep last night, isn't that true?" She didn't wait for the answer. "And you've just got the shit kicked out of you. Rest. Doctor's orders. Come on, roll over; I want you to take the weight off your side."

Olivia did as she was told, with a little help from Nikki who tugged the blanket from underneath her and covered Benson up to her shoulders. Though she'd never admit Nikki was right, Olivia fell asleep almost immediately.

*-*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

Beyond the external noises of a prison going about its business, the cell had remained relatively quiet for the afternoon. Every so often, Nikki would look up from her studies to check on Olivia, who had remained unmoved the entire time. An hour after she had told Benson to sleep, Dominic McAllister had shown up in the doorway.

"Hey," he greeted, then seeing the sleeping American, lowered his voice to a whisper. "What's going on?"

"She's sleeping," Nikki replied as if it was obvious.

McAllister made a face, acknowledging her sarcasm. "I mean, when I asked around for you, the two Julies told me Olivia had sprained her wrist." He tilted his head in Benson's direction. "She all right?"

Her face softened, a silent apology to the guard. She knew his concern was a genuine one. "I think she just over-did it in the gym. And the pain in her wrist was making her feel ill."

"Did you try and get anything for it?"

"Well," Nikki smiled, "let's just say I have ways."

The guard couldn't help but smile and shake his head. "It's probably for the best if you don't say anything else. If she isn't feeling any better by tea, let me know. I'll help you bring some up."

"Thanks, Dom."

He didn't correct her use of his Christian name. Instead, he simply nodded and left.

Twenty minutes to dinner, Nikki softly sat on the edge of the mattress and gently squeezed Olivia's shoulder. It must have been some kind of ingrained police training that caused the cop to jerk awake immediately.

"What is it?" she managed to ask as she lifted her head.

Nikki held her hand on Benson's shoulder. "There's no rush. I wanted to wake you before tea, that's all."

Resting her head back on the pillow, Benson groaned. "God, I feel like hell."

"Well, you did go 12 rounds with someone's fists. And I suspect, their boots as well." She gently turned Olivia onto her back. "Come on, let's have a look."

Olivia dutifully did as she was told. Nikki lifted the damp towel from Benson's ribs and pushed the t-shirt up for a better look. If there was a silver lining to be had, it was that Nikki was allowed long lingering looks at all that exposed skin. Trying her best to maintain a detached façade, she frowned and admitted, "I'm no doctor; I don't know if this is good or bad."

"Is there any yellowing?"

She scrutinized the large bruise. "I think so. In little spots everywhere, yeah."

Olivia nodded. "That's good. It means it's starting to heal already."

"I'll pretend your knowledge is based on being well-informed and not because you're speaking from years of experience." She glanced down at the bruise again and winced. "And how are you feeling, really?"

Benson closed her eyes as she took a mental inventory of her body. "It's easier to breathe than it was earlier." Running her fingers up her ribcage, she went on, "It's tender; really sore in some spots." She reached for Nikki's hand and went over the tender trail again. "This is okay and here is okay," she explained as she directed Wade's fingers with her hand. "But between those two ribs –God, that's sore."

Somehow, Nikki found her voice. "How's… how's your head?"

Benson squeezed her eyes tightly. "I think the headache's worse than anything, to be honest." She was savouring the feel of Nikki's cool fingers on her hot skin when she heard a small hum of pleasure from the lifer. Olivia could only smile at the synchronicity.

"I had a cat once who had that same expression after I gave her a bowl of cream," Nikki observed and Olivia laughed. "Come on, you can take those last two tablets and we'll go eat."

It was the jolt of pain through her side as she stood up that reminded Benson she had serious business here other than Nikki Wade.

 

*-*-*-*

 

"You all right, Olivia?"

She turned in the food line at the question. "Yes, sir," she answered when she saw McAllister. "I just wasn't feeling well."

"I heard," he replied. "Maybe you should stay out of the gym for a while, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And if morning comes and you still feel poorly, let me know and I'll take you to the doctor." He slid a glance at Nikki and good-naturedly added, "A real one, I mean."

"Hell," Nikki quipped, "by the time I get out of this place, I could have my medical degree."

"You could open a clinic here, Nik," Benson suggested. "I'm sure you wouldn't have problems attracting patients."

The guard blushed and he held up his hands. "That's enough for me, thanks!"

"Thanks, Mr. McAllister," Benson said.

"Cheers."

The young man left them just in time for their turn at the counter. The grinning face of Shell Dockley was there to greet them.

"Liv, you're looking a bit rough," she sympathized facetiously. "You okay, love?"

Benson could feel the rage emanating from Nikki and she surreptitiously put out her arm to stop Wade from doing anything rash. "I'm not too bad, Shell, thanks for asking." Leaning forward, she said, "Better than some people will be if something happens to Mr. Weston's newfound money train, wouldn't you agree?" When the blonde did nothing but blanch, Benson looked down at the selection of the day and commented, "I was too sick to keep my lunch down today; I think I'll have two servings tonight. Is that all right with you, Shell?"

Dockley nodded her head more times than necessary. "Yeah, yeah," she finally stuttered out. "Here you go, Liv."

"Only my friends call me 'Liv'," Benson reminded her. "And I think certain events have made me question our friendship, Shell. You can understand that, can't you?" As Shell nodded again, Olivia reached under her shirt and pulled out the bag of peas. "And put these back."

Benson and Wade walked away as Dockley picked up the bag.

"Eh?" she called out after them.

 

*-*-*-*

 

"You ate both servings," Nikki noted as the two women cleaned up after dinner. "That must be a good sign."

Olivia dried her plate and put it on the shelf in the cell. "Yeah," she replied, "and those pills must have kicked in because my headache's gone."

"Good."

When they were finished, Wade held up a thin piece of plastic between two fingers. "Thought you might want to phone that partner of yours in the States."

The cop smiled and took it. "I owe you."

"Careful, I might collect. Come on, let's go."

As Nikki ushered her to the door, Olivia asked, "You going to be my bodyguard?"

Shaking her head, Nikki smirked, "Maybe later. Right now, I have other business to attend to." She saw the look on Benson's face and shook her head. "Just paying a little visit to a mutual friend."

The sarcastic drop of the last word hinted at the truth. "Stay out of trouble," Olivia warned, "for my sake if not your own. I mean it."

"Yes, Mother." Though she rolled her eyes at the admonishment, she tempered her attitude by squeezing Benson's arm. "I promise."

"Okay. I'll hold you to it." She looked at her watch. "If you're not back here in fifteen minutes, I'm coming to look for you."

 

*-*-*-*

 

She took the steps two at a time, determined and driven. Though willing herself to remain in control, Nikki kept a sliver of anger on the surface; just enough to keep her edgy. When she got to the top level, the first person she saw was Yvonne Atkins, who was leaning against the railing, smoking a cigarette.

"Hey, Nikki," the older woman greeted. "What brings you all the way up here?"

She got straight to the point. "Is Dockley here?"

Atkins exhaled and peered at Nikki through the smoke. "What's going on?"

"Is she here?"

Having no love lost with Dockley herself, Yvonne said, "Yeah." However, she did have a soft spot for Nikki. "Be careful. The last thing you need is for one of the screws to catch you doing something stupid."

"That's why you're here, innit?" Nikki smiled without humour. "You're going to make sure I don't get caught."

"But you are going to do something stupid."

Her tone was hard and cold. "I'm going to do something I've wanted to do for ages. You with me?"

Atkins stubbed out her cigarette. "Damn straight I'm with you, love."

The two women marched towards Dockley's cell, and Nikki unceremoniously pushed the door open.

"Oi!" Dockley swore as she stood up to protest.

"Oh, that's the best thing you could have done, Shell," Nikki said.

With the blonde upright, it was nothing for Nikki to step forward and grab her by the throat. Yvonne quietly closed the door, leaving only a small crack in case she had to get Nikki's attention. Inside, Wade ran Dockley into the far wall, bouncing Shell's head off the concrete, but holding her fast around the throat. Having an extra inch or two on Shell helped, as the pressure on the blonde's throat forced her to look up right into Nikki's eyes. Wade bared her teeth and squeezed harder.

"Do you know how easy it would be for me to crush your windpipe, you worthless piece of shit?"

Dockley couldn't answer because of the pressure, and she didn't dare try to move her head for the same reason. Her eyes, as huge as saucers, tried their best to answer for her.

"You know, I generally like to inflict pain with something sharp and jagged. And I'd love to have something like that right now so I could mess up that pretty little face of yours. Bet that would put Fenner off you for a while, wouldn't it? Or maybe not. He probably doesn't even look at your face when he's got you down on your knees, does he, you little slag?" Nikki's eyes were nearly black with fury and her gaze bore through Dockley. "You don't have to answer that, darling, I'm not here to ask questions. I'm here to state facts. And the fact is, it could be another fifteen years before I get out of this shit hole, and by that time, I'll almost be fifty. So what's another five or ten years added on for assault? And that's the best case scenario for you if you try that bullshit with Fenner again. Keep your pit bull at bay in the future, or I'll make sure he has no further use for this gob of yours ever again." She roughly pushed Dockley away from her and didn't bother to watch her slide down the wall and gasp for air.

"Everything kosher, Nikki?" Atkins asked as the tall brunette came out of the cell.

She nodded. "Right as rain."

 

*-*-*-*

 

"You've got the office bugged or what?"

Benson laughed. "Hello to you too, El. Weston must've called."

"About ten minutes ago." He knew she had been waiting for this as much as he had, so he got right to it. "Deal's been set up for Thursday. His guy's going to call us when he gets in and we agree on a meeting place from there."

"Anything more specific about the time?"

"We got it down to sometime in the early afternoon. It doesn't sound like much help, but we don't figure he's going to want to be in New York too long with a kid, so we're checking incoming flights with a six-hour window at LaGuardia and JFK."

She thought about this for a moment before asking, "What's your gut instinct on this?"

"My gut?" he repeated. "My gut is, we've got a good chance here, Liv. We get the passenger lists of every flight coming in from London, narrow it down from there. An adult and a kid traveling together? Even without knowing the exact time, I like our odds."

"And you've got the late booking of the flight," she conceded.

"And we got that. Anyone who's booked a ticket in the last four days is gonna be a red flag."

Taking a deep breath, she admitted, "I feel a bit better now."

"It's gonna be all over soon, Liv. Either way."

"I know."

There was something in her voice that caught his attention. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just tired." She rested her head against the phone. "I won't be able to call you on Thursday. Lock up here's 9 o'clock, and with the time difference…"

"Call me first thing Friday, okay?" he offered. "I don't care what the time is here, just call."

"Okay. Be careful."

"I will. And I'll talk to you on Friday."

"Okay."

"Look, I know it's gotta be eating you up inside to be there when it's going down here, but I want you to try and not think about it until Friday, until the dust settles. I know I might as well tell you not to breathe, but give it a shot, okay?"

Her tired chuckle rolled down the line. "Okay. Take it easy."

He said his goodbyes and she held onto the receiver long after the line went dead.

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Any word?" Nikki immediately asked when Olivia returned to the cell.

"And here I thought I was going to have to go looking for you."

Wade smirked. "Oh, no, it didn't take long at all."

"I'm just glad you're on my side," Benson remarked.

"Go on." She sat down and gestured for Olivia to do the same. "Did you find out anything?"

Olivia took a seat in the opposite chair. Leaning forward to keep her voice down, she said, "Thursday, early afternoon, Weston's guy is going to call my partner and set up a meeting place."

"You can't catch this bastard before he leaves England?"

"No," the cop answered, "we need to catch him with the kid, and there are just too many ways that can go wrong here. If we catch him out of the country, we've got him by the balls."

"Will he get prosecuted there or here?" Nikki queried.

"The supplier will get prosecuted in the States. Weston will more than likely get prosecuted here. It's going to be a legal nightmare trying to get both countries to work together, but I think crime scene photos of the kids will spur both legal systems to co-operate."

"No doubt. So what now?"

Benson propped her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her palm. Sighing, she said, "We wait. The deal goes down Thursday, but with the time difference, I won't find anything out until Friday morning."

"Should I reserve the pool table for you?"

Olivia laughed. "Yeah. And maybe we'll finish plotting those flowers."

Nikki smiled in return. "I'd like that."

There was a soft rap on the door, and when Nikki called out an invitation, the two Julies popped their heads around the frame.

"Everything all right, girls?" Nikki asked.

"We was just going to ask you the same," the taller Julie said.

The shorter one piped up, "How you feeling, Liv?"

"Better. Much better thanks to you two," the American thanked.

"Aw, it was nothing –"

" –nothing."

"We brought you these, just in case." Julie J put two small pills on the table. "We would've got more, but we didn't want to cause Angie any aggro."

"I made her a pretty little patch to replace that horrible black thing she's wearing," Julie S said.

Both Olivia and Nikki laughed, and it was Wade who stood up and walked over to the small cupboard. Shaking her pack of cigarettes, she took out three and handed the rest to the Julies. "Take one each and give the rest to Angie. With my thanks."

"Ah, cheers, Nikki!" praised the two women in unison. The shouting of the guards caught their attention, and tall Julie said, "Looks like lock-up. We just wanted to drop those off and tell you we was glad to help out –"

" –glad to help out."

"Thanks, Julies," Olivia and Nikki chimed together, and as the two women left, Nikki groused good-naturedly, "Christ, we're getting as bad as they are!"

*-*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

 

The key scraped into the hole and the lock clicked into place. Olivia looked over to Nikki, who was brushing her teeth at the sink.

"Do you ever get used to that?" she asked.

Nikki rinsed her mouth, then raised her head. "To what? You mean being locked up? I don't know. I suppose so. Four years in this place should be long enough to drum a routine into anyone, even a hard head like me. They tell you when to get up, when to eat, when to go to sleep. If they could, I'm sure they'd tell you when to shit."

"Does it bother you, to have your life so regulated?"

"Well, it is supposed to be punishment, innit?" she remarked. "Fact of the matter is, I don't really give a toss either way. What I value most is up here," she tapped her forehead, "and they can regulate things down to an inch of my life and still wouldn't be able to touch it. That's where my freedom is. Anyway, that got serious all of a sudden, didn't it?" she smiled. "I won't be able to get to sleep if we keep going on, and I need every minute of the eight hours they give us."

Olivia smiled back. "It's more sleep than I get back home, I'll say that much."

She turned slightly and grabbed the hem of her shirt with both hands. Lifting it, she only made it up to her shoulders before her ribs reminded her of the situation. Wincing, she relented for a second, took a deep breath and tried again. Her ribs would have none of it.

Nikki stepped forward and very softly whispered, "Let me."

Olivia slowly dropped her arms and Nikki took the cotton in her hands.

"If we do one arm at a time, it might be easier," she directed. Pulling one side away from Benson's body, Nikki said, "This arm first." When Olivia did as she was instructed, Nikki repeated it on the other side, and with both arms out, she was able to lift the shirt over Olivia's head until the tee was completely removed. She carefully folded it and placed it on the bunk behind Olivia's shoulder and rested her hand on the mattress. Their bodies were so close that Olivia could feel the warmth emanate from Nikki, contrasting against the cool metal bed frame that pressed across her shoulders.

Benson's gaze flicked up to Nikki's eyes and she wondered if hers held the same look of… craving. Words like desire and attraction seemed woefully inadequate in comparison to the fever that spread through her body like a wildfire. She chanced a glance at Nikki's mouth and subconsciously licked her own lips. When the lifer grazed her nose alongside Benson's, the cop decided to make a vain attempt at keeping her head.

"This is impossible, you know, me and you."

Nikki's breath caressed Olivia's ear. "I know." When there was no further comment from the American, Wade slowly reached around Benson and unclasped her bra with exquisite slowness.

Olivia's chuckle was low and heavy. "You've done this before."

"Maybe," Nikki admitted with a chuckle of her own. "Once or twice."

The last clasp obediently unhooked from its partner, and the silk prison relinquished its tension. With her hands returning to the front, Nikki slid her fingers under the thin straps and inched them off Olivia's shoulders until she could pull the garment away from her body. The two women sighed in unison, though it was difficult to determine who was more pleased. Placing her hands flat against Olivia's breastbone, Nikki ran them up along the side of her throat and into her hair, and with two tight fists, she pulled Olivia's mouth to her own, fierce and hard. Lips and teeth and tongues collided without grace or patience. Olivia thought she could detect the metallic tinge of blood, but she couldn't tell who it belonged to. She didn't care.

Nikki tore her mouth away and rested her forehead against Olivia's, and gasped for air. Their shaky breath wound around each other and there seemed to be nothing else in the moment except the sound of their ragged breathing. Uncoiling her fingers from Olivia's hair, Nikki returned to her tenderness as she dusted her fingertips across Benson's collarbone and down her sternum, resisting the urge to cup the offered breasts in her hands, much to Olivia's objection.

"Patience, darling," Nikki whispered. "We've got all night." As if on cue, the prison lights shut off and they were left bathed by the ground lights that shone through the window into the darkened cell. She brushed her mouth across Olivia's and skimmed over the hard jaw until she reached the soft skin of her neck. Finding the long tendon, Nikki scratched her teeth across it, causing the other woman to jump in surprise.

Benson didn't know which sensation was driving her crazier, the maddeningly slow trail Nikki's fingertips were blazing down her abdomen to her jeans, or the blatantly obvious way she was trying to mark her. She tried to create a suitable diversion by finding a space between their bodies and sliding her hands underneath Nikki's tank top. The action only made her realize there would be no such distraction from the sensory overload. On the contrary; when her palms touched bare skin, her body nearly cried out with the gratification.

She wasn't alone. The contact of Olivia's hands on her body made Nikki bite down in pleasure and her growl masked the soft popping sound of the button being released on Olivia's jeans. Benson had been in the game long enough to know that anticipation was often part of the sexual dance, but she couldn't get close enough to this woman fast enough for her liking. She tugged the hem of Nikki's tee and whispered, "Take this off. My ribs won't let me."

Reluctantly pulling away from Olivia's body, Nikki grasped the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head before tossing it on the bunk. When Nikki tilted her head forward to Olivia's mouth, the cop touched her shoulders to stop the advancement. They stood like this for an eternity, until Olivia painted her palms down Nikki's breastbone and cupped the soft flesh of her breasts. The lifer's eyes fluttered shut, but her mouth opened, a soft moan escaping through parted lips. Hard nipples pressed into Olivia's palms and the sensation made her sigh. Reaching up with one hand, she pulled Nikki's mouth down on hers.

The action caused their bodies to press into each other, and at long last, they were skin-on-skin, nerve endings alive and aware of every minute movement that caused their bodies to brush or graze or rub against each other. Hips jerked forward, looking for their counterpart and limbs tangled in an effort to map out as much of the exposed skin with fingertips and mouths and tongues as possible.

Nikki's fingers tickled over Olivia's ribs until they reached denim and uncoupled the metal teeth of the zipper. Curling her fingers around the waistband, she tugged down both panties and jeans, and as her hands lowered, so did her mouth. Her hot breath blazed a path down Olivia's neck to her collarbone and between her breasts, again refusing the slight arch of Benson's body except to lick the underside of her left breast.

"You're a fucking tease, Nikki Wade," Benson breathed.

Nikki's chuckle vibrated through Olivia's abdomen and spread throughout her body. She carefully kissed the delicate area where the bruise had stained her white skin and she heard Olivia gasp. Raising her head, she asked, "Am I hurting you?"

Olivia ran a hand through Nikki's short soft hair. It was the tenderness, not pain that had made her murmur. "No." With a smirk, she added, "You are driving me crazy, though."

"All good things, love," Nikki said; though as if offering a concession, she peeled away the jeans and cotton panties down to Liv's ankles at a pace quicker than she would have liked. Benson lightly touched Nikki's shoulder for balance as she lifted her foot –one, then the other –to help shed the garments.

Nikki sat back on her heels and drank in the long lean sight of the naked woman before her. "God, you're gorgeous."

She ran her fingers up Benson's calves and raised herself to her knees as her hands guided themselves back up Olivia's body, brushing over hard nipples and around her shoulders, then scratching their way down her back and over the curve of her ass. Benson all but purred in pleasure. Bringing her hands around to trace the faint outline of the pelvic bone, Nikki's fingers went lower, barely grazing the coarse dark hair on the way to the soft skin of Olivia's inner thighs. Benson's hand clenched and unclenched in Nikki's hair, her body humming in anticipation, and when Nikki's mouth came in contact with the tender flesh, she nearly jumped out of her skin. They both knew the kiss was a pre-cursor for what was to come, and they both yearned and savoured it in equal measure. She focused on nothing but the feel of Nikki's breath on her skin and how that simple act sent sparks of desire up and down her body.

It seemed like an eternity passed before Olivia whispered, "Please."

Though she didn't need to ask, Nikki realized she had been waiting for the permission Olivia's simple word had given her. With two thumbs, she gently revealed Olivia's swollen clit and she couldn't resist. She blew a cool breath across the sensitive nerve and decided she had teased long enough. With heady conviction, she pressed her mouth alongside Olivia's clit and dragged her tongue in a long deliberate lick that made Benson's knees buckle.

"Jesus!" she groaned, her fingers tightening in Nikki's hair.

Nikki repeated the action again before pulling Olivia into her mouth. She revelled in the taste and texture as she flicked her rough tongue over the satin flesh. The weight of Olivia's leg as she hooked it over Nikki's right shoulder made the lifer exhale a moan that reverberated through Olivia's clit and only made her dig her heel harder into Nikki's back. Her hands free, Nikki glided them up Benson's lean frame and at long last made contact with Olivia's breasts.

Benson linked her fingers with Nikki's and held her there, squeezing her hands as Nikki squeezed her breasts. The edge of the metal bunk bed jabbed into her shoulders as she arched her back, but she felt nothing –nothing but Nikki's cool hands and warm mouth, driving her mad. She tried to establish a rhythm between her hips and Nikki's mouth, but it was all too much and she wasn't sure how long she could keep herself upright.

"Stop," she said, her voice raspy. "Sto –God!" A gentle nibble told her Nikki hadn't heard, and she moaned. Opening her mouth, she wet her parched lips with her tongue and tried again. She forced clarity on her brain and repeated, "Stop."

Even in the darkness, she could see Nikki's eyes meet hers. The way the light from the window shone against Wade's mouth and made her lips glisten with Olivia's wetness only made the cop moan again.

"What's wrong?" Nikki asked.

Benson shook her head. "Not a thing." Gently tugging at Nikki's hair, she got her to stand up. "I'm just not sure how long my legs are going to co-operate." She pulled Nikki's mouth towards her and sucked Wade's bottom lip between her teeth while running her hands down her back. When she reached the cotton material of Nikki's pyjama bottoms, she murmured against Nikki's mouth. "And you're over-dressed."

Nikki smirked and kissed the corner of Olivia's mouth before gently pressing Benson's shoulders so that she sat down on the edge of the mattress. Stepping back slightly, Nikki hooked her thumbs in her waistband and stripped away her remaining clothes, all while under the watchful eye of Olivia.

"Get a good look, did you?" Nikki joked.

"Not what I'd like with this light, but it was pretty good."

"Pretty good?" she echoed with a note of playful incredulousness in her voice. "I'll show you 'pretty good'."

She bent forward and kissed Olivia, and cradling her head to avoid hitting it on the bed frame, she lowered her to the pillow. She waited for Benson to swing her legs up to the mattress and once both women were on the bed, Nikki craned her head to check their surroundings. The bed barely fit one person; to have two was an exercise in space management. Kneeling between Olivia's legs and her back bowed, Nikki swore.

"These bloody beds were made for bastard elves!"

Olivia threw her head back and laughed so honestly that Nikki couldn't help but do the same.

"It's never like it is in the movies, is it?" Wade complained.

The laughter faded into a warm chuckle. "No, it isn't," Benson agreed.

Propping herself on her left elbow, Nikki lowered her mouth and kissed Olivia, a move designed to distract the American from Wade's wandering right hand. "Well, I suppose I'll just have to go with Plan B."

"Oh?" Olivia asked. "And what exactly would that –"

Two slender fingers slid into Olivia, and the cop's eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.

" –be?" Nikki finished for her, grinning against her mouth.

Benson grabbed the sheet tightly in her fists and opened her eyes wide. "God, you're sneaky."

Pulling her fingers out, Nikki cocked an eyebrow. "Anything else?"

"And gorgeous."

"Mmm-hmm."

The unflappable Olivia Benson barely prevented herself from begging. She could feel Nikki's fingertips grazing against her, so close yet so maddeningly far. "And you've had me thinking about this since the first day we met."

"Have I?" Nikki asked as she slowly pushed her fingers inside Olivia once more. "Just like this?"

"Christ, yes, baby."

Wade hummed at the endearment. Lifting her right leg over Olivia's, Nikki used her thigh to press her fingers deeper into Benson. Olivia's mouth opened, though words became unintelligible whispers. "Lift your leg, darling," Nikki instructed.

Olivia tried to focus at the direction, and when she looked down between their bodies, she understood. Raising her right leg allowed Nikki to rock her hips back and forth, pressing her clit into Olivia's thigh.

The surprise at the feel of Nikki's wetness must have shown on her face, because the lifer smiled and asked, "What? Did you think it was just you?" Whatever Olivia was about to say was lost in the kiss Nikki lowered onto her mouth. Wade's fingers retreated again and before Olivia could voice her displeasure, she thrust them inside a second time, her thigh pushing against her hand.

"Faster, baby," Olivia pleaded.

Shifting her weight on her left forearm and thigh, Nikki was able to find a comfortable rhythm that complemented Benson's responsive hips which rose off the mattress to meet Nikki's hand. Every time they met, Nikki could feel Olivia's hard clit bump into her palm, so she angled her wrist enough to rub the sensitive spot. The sensation made Olivia jump.

"God, I… I'm almost there…" She gripped Nikki's forearm and held Wade's hand still as she jerked her hips up and ground them into Nikki's palm. "Just a little bit…" She was so close, but somehow found the wherewithal to look at Nikki.

The woman looked down at Benson. "Don't worry about me, love," Nikki whispered, anticipating what Olivia could not find the breath to say. "It won't take me long, I promise."

Olivia closed her eyes and allowed herself to relish the feeling that was rolling through her body. She couldn't seem to focus on a single sensation; her mind jumped from the feel of Nikki rocking against her thigh, to the glorious pleasure of Nikki's hand between her legs. When she thought she couldn't take any more, Nikki captured Olivia's nipple between her teeth and she was over the edge.

Though Nikki was quick, she wasn't quite quick enough to prevent a hitched moan escape from Olivia's lips. It seemed loud in the small room, but it simply joined the hundred other sounds of the prison settling in for the night –women laughing and yelling at each other; some singing; some banging against the windows until the boredom lulled them to sleep.

In this cell, Nikki's mouth covered Olivia's and she watched as the cop came down from the carnal bliss. She could feel Benson clenching and unclenching around her fingers, as the last waves of the orgasm ran spent through her body. Nikki had continued to grind into Olivia's thigh, and watching Benson come had pushed her dangerously close to the edge herself. When Olivia finally opened her heavy-lidded eyes, she didn't say a word. Instead, she simply slid her hand between her thigh and Nikki's swollen clit.

"Fuck!" Nikki gasped.

Though short of breath, Olivia managed to reply, "That's the idea." Wiping away the damp hair from Nikki's forehead, Benson pulled Nikki to her, but rather than kissing her mouth, she lightly sunk her teeth into Wade's neck, a replay of the action Nikki herself had performed on Olivia in a time that seemed like a lifetime ago. She felt the lifer go rigid and clench Benson's thigh between her legs. Nikki's release was muffled in Olivia's neck and the cop eased her onto her body while gently stroking a sweat-soaked back. Wade said something Olivia couldn't quite catch.

"What's that?"

Using up whatever energy she had left, Nikki lifted her head and repeated, "You tell anyone I let you call me 'baby' and I'll kill you."

Wade's head dropped back into the crook of Olivia's neck and Benson laughed. "Careful what you say."

Nikki jerked her head back up. "Sorry," she apologized, as real life and circumstances returned.

"No," Olivia said, running her fingers through Nikki's damp hair. "That's not what I meant. I just meant you might want to keep your death threats to a minimum since you're in prison." As if to support her words, she leaned up and kissed her again.

Nikki's body was cooling, but her desire was still burning and she returned the kiss with fervor. It was when she heard Olivia moan that her head cleared for a moment, and she looked down at her body lying prone on Benson. "Am I hurting you?"

"What?"

Chuckling, Nikki said, "Your ribs, remember? Am I hurting you?"

"Oh, them. I forgot all about it," she replied before nipping Nikki's jaw with her teeth. "But maybe just for health reasons, I should be on top this time."

*-*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

Day gradually overtook the night and as the artificial lights of the prison yard were replaced by the sun, Benson's internal clock, finally on British time, nudged her awake. In her sleepy haze, she attempted to stretch, only to have her ribs remind her of yesterday's events. It was only a matter of moments before the rest of her body reminded her of what else happened the day before. Smiling, she rolled away from the wall and glanced over her shoulder. And found she was sleeping alone.

Benson's movements must have alerted Nikki, because the con leaned over from her perch on the top bunk and said, "Morning." Olivia's eyes narrowed in confusion and Wade could almost see the cop trying to piece everything together. Deciding to help out, Nikki explained, "I've only been up here for about an hour. The screws catch us sleeping together and we're in it. They know it goes on, and they know they can't do anything about it, but they'd rather not have us flaunt it in their faces. Not much different than being on the outside, I suppose." She climbed off the bunk and grabbed her cigarettes off the shelf. Opening the window, she lit the cigarette and watched as Olivia sleepily ran her fingers through her hair. Blowing a cloud of smoke out the window, Nikki smirked, "Or was the confusion in finding you were the one who woke up alone and not the other way round?"

"Hey!" Benson objected, knowing full well the meaning behind the words. She also knew her defense was a weak one. "Okay, so I'm the one who usually leaves before morning."

"I knew it!" Nikki crowed.

"Anyway," Olivia went on in an attempt to change the subject, "once the screws open the door, they'll know we've been at it like rabbits."

Laughing, Nikki said, "Hence the window and the fag. Maybe we'll get lucky and we'll have the pleasure of Bodybag this morning. She wouldn't have a clue. Probably hasn't gotten any since the Napoleonic War."

Right on cue, there was a knock at the door and the rattle of keys as Sylvia Hollamby announced her presence. "All right, come on, rise and –" She stopped in the doorway and looked around suspiciously. Benson was on the bottom bunk, but it was obvious Wade had slept in the unmade top bed. And yet there was something not quite right, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Morning, Miss," Benson greeted.

"Morning, Sylvia," Wade added.

The guard frowned. "It's Miss Hollamby! Once more out of you and you'll be written up for disrespecting an officer." She looked around again, though failing to find anything amiss. "Hurry it up, then!"

When the guard departed, both Olivia and Nikki burst out laughing.

"We okay about last night?" Nikki asked as she finished her cigarette by the window.

"Regrets, Wade?"

Nikki scoffed. "Not bloody likely. Though I did wonder how it would be in the harsh light of the day as it were."

Benson sat up and cautiously placed her warm feet on the cold concrete. Looking up, she said, "Sweetheart, it might not seem like it in here, I know, but life's too damn short." She smiled and stood up, naked. "Now, in the harsh light of day, where is my underwear?"

Wade shook her head in amusement and lifted a pair of jeans off the floor. "I believe they're still in here."

Olivia snatched the denim from Nikki's fingers and slipped on both bits of clothing. Her eyes searching, she spotted her bra on the floor as well. "You're a slob, Wade."

"What?" the con asked incredulously. "I folded your shirt, didn't I?"

Benson conceded the point with an eye roll, and walked over to the sink as she gingerly pulled the tee over her head. Running the taps, she splashed cold water on her face and through her hair. As she raised her head to dry her face, she froze.

"Shit!"

Alarmed, Nikki joined her at the sink and looked at their reflections in the mirror. "What is it?"

Benson tilted her head and pointed at her neck. In clear contrast to the white skin of her throat was a large red mark that stood out in relief.

Nikki's mouth twitched in poorly disguised amusement. "What?" she asked, her attempt at innocence just as poorly disguised.

"How am I going to explain this to the girls at breakfast?"

Nikki shrugged. "I would think they'd be able to figure it out on their own." For her efforts, she got a playful elbow in the stomach. "I do see a problem, though," she admitted.

"Oh?"

"Yeah." She slipped her arms around Benson's waist. "You're going to be off-balance all day, walking around with only the one." She nuzzled the unmarked side of Olivia's neck.

Benson slapped Nikki's arm half-heartedly. "I suppose it's okay," she confessed, "since you've got one, too."

Wade's head jerked up in surprise. "What?" she exclaimed as she pushed Benson out of the way. Sure enough, the reflection didn't lie. Directly above her collarbone, a faint yet obvious welt showed itself. "Are those teeth marks!" Nikki's eyes were as wide as saucers. "How am I going to explain this to the girls at breakfast?" she asked, echoing Benson's earlier refrain.

"I would think –" Benson stopped short when she caught Wade's reflected glare.

"You're lucky you've already got a rib problem," Nikki muttered as she touched the hickey just to make sure.

The two women looked at their reflections for a quiet moment, and then, for the second time that morning, erupted in laughter.

 

*-*-*-*

 

Beyond a hearty, "Thank Christ!" from Yvonne as a morning greeting at the table, and a knowing smile from Barbara, Olivia and Nikki hurdled the gauntlet of breakfast with little incident. It was only when the two Julies stopped by under the pretense of wiping the table did someone try and get a good one in.

"Ah, look Jules, Liv and Nikki –"

" –neck and neck."

Olivia nearly choked on her tea and Nikki's eyes snapped up. Glaring, she warned, "Julies…"

"What?" Julie J innocently replied. "I was just mention to Jules that you two were almost done eating at the same time, wasn't I, Jules?"

"You were."

Yvonne piped up, "I'd say Liv and Nikki have been eating more than breakfast lately."

"Had we known you girls were so interested in our sex lives, we would've got a camera smuggled in, wouldn't we, Liv?" Nikki asked, deciding that playing along was the best defense.

Olivia chose another path. "Let me die," she groaned.

Julie S nudged Nikki's shoulder. "Ah, come on. You love us."

"Which is the only reason I'm not using you two as fertilizer for my plants."

"Aw, you know we was just joking."

Nikki's expression softened her tone. "Don't you two have work to do? Go on, then. Sod off."

When they saw her smile, they winked in return. "We love you, Nikki."

As the two women walked away, Atkins turned to Barbara. "Hey, Babs, a quid or a card says the news of recent shagging events gets around by tea time."

Barbara looked up from her diary and seriously contemplated the odds. "With the two Julies knowing? You'd better get me down for mid-afternoon. Say two o'clock?"

Nikki shook her head. "You two are shameless," she accused. After a fraction of a pause, she added, "Put me down for lunchtime." Olivia turned to her, eyes wide and mouth agape. "What?"

 

*-*-*-*

 

"I should be using you as fertilizer," Benson muttered as she sifted through the rich soil.

After breakfast and cleanup, the cellmates decided to go out to the shed and finish the potting job they started a week ago.

"You're not sore about breakfast, are you?" Nikki asked.

Olivia glanced at the woman who was standing shoulder to shoulder with her. She couldn't help but laugh. "No. I'm just not used to being the topic of conversation."

Wade smirked. "That's because you leave before anyone can get your name." While she had the cop speechless, Nikki said, "So tell me about your life beyond all this. What are you going back to? You told me you worked on some kind of special unit. What's that about?"

Choosing to let the original quip pass, Benson replied, "Special Victims Unit. Pretty self-explanatory, though some cops call it the Sex Crimes division. And other cops just call us the Panty Brigade."

"Oh, very nice."

"Yeah," she acknowledged. "Divisional rivalry is par for the course, but we get it fairly often."

Nikki placed a small bulb into one of the plastic containers and gently covered it with soil. "Why do you think that is?"

"Dunno," Benson shrugged, "though I've always suspected it's because it makes most people uncomfortable. Straight up murder or robbery they can deal with, but when it comes to rape or assault of women, a lot of cops just can't deal with the sensitivities of it. Most cops are married or have kids of their own, so to have to deal with a woman lying broken on the ground because she's been raped…" she trailed off before picking it up again. "And rape of a man? Forget it. Most of the time the testosterone's so thick, accepting a man can get raped isn't a macho attitude to take."

"And you deal with kids as well?"

Benson nodded. "Mm-hmm. Another hot button issue for most cops."

"For most people, I should think."

"True," Olivia agreed.

"Can I ask you something?" Hearing the question come out of her mouth, Nikki flashed a self-depreciating eye roll. "Sorry, habit." When Benson's look encouraged her to continue, she said, "I have to say, this unit sounds pretty shitty –I mean, you deal with pretty shitty things. What made you want to join?"

"When I joined the academy, I never heard of SVU; I joined just because I wanted to become a cop. It was only later that I heard about it and decided it was something I wanted to be a part of."

"But why?"

Reaching for the watering can, Olivia lightly sprinkled the clear liquid over the freshly potted plants. "The fact that very few cops were interested was one good reason. But if we're supposed to protect and help people, shouldn't we be doing everything we can as officers to do that instead of shying away from it because it makes us feel uncomfortable?"

"Good point."

Olivia touched the soil to make sure it was damp enough. "And I had a personal reason."

Nikki waited, unsure whether Olivia's comment was the end or a beginning.

Glancing quickly at Nikki then back to her work again, she said, "My mother was raped."

Nikki froze. "Jesus. How… how old were you?"

"I wasn't born yet," Benson answered. "I was born because of it."

She waited for all the pieces to fall into place for Nikki, and it only took seconds for the con to figure out the implication of Olivia's words.

"Bloody hell," Nikki whispered. She thought of how her life and that of Trish's had changed because of the attempted rape. She couldn't imagine what it must have been like for Olivia's mother to go through that horrible experience, let alone come out of it pregnant. Deciding to keep the baby must have been the most difficult decision the woman ever made. "Your mother's a very courageous woman," Nikki admired.

"She was," Benson agreed and seeing the questioning look from Wade, she added, "She died last year."

"I'm sorry." Shaking her head, Nikki said, "That word seems woefully inadequate."

"No, it's okay," Benson assured her with a small smile. "You know, she seemed to make peace with things a hell of a lot sooner than I did. I don't think she took any hate with her. Though back then, I probably carried enough for the both of us."

"And now?"

She wiped her hands and stepped back to admire her handiwork before answering, "And now… you know, when I graduated from the academy, I was on all cylinders. I pursued every perp at full throttle. And when I got accepted for SVU, I carried that over."

"Every crim was your father."

Olivia looked at Nikki and nodded at the con's insight. "Yeah. Yeah, I suppose you're right. But somewhere along the way I learned the most important person in a crime isn't the perp. It's the victim. So I tried to find a balance in all that zeal."

Nikki smiled. "And what's your partner like?"

This time, Olivia's smile was a full and genuine one. "Detective Elliot Stabler. He's my anchor, my family. He's married with a brood of rug rats," she chuckled. "He's always had my back and has always treated me like a partner instead of a woman."

Nodding appreciatively, Nikki said, "Sounds like he's one of the good guys."

"He is."

"Maybe one day I'll meet this knight in shining armour," Nikki quipped.

"Hey!" the cop half-heartedly objected, "that's my partner you're joking about. Besides, I bet he'd love to meet you."

"Oh yeah, I bet," Wade facetiously concurred. "Just don't tell him I have a way with bottles and men in uniform. I'm sure he'd figure I got what I deserved."

"He already knows." Wade's eyes widened. "What? You don't think he didn't read the same files I did before I got here?"

"So he knows about me?"

"He knows about you," Benson informed. "And he knows I'm sharing a cell with you. And he's not ready to string you up just because the guy you killed was a cop." She saw the con's expression of mild surprise. "You have to understand, we deal with cases like yours every single day. The irony is, if it had happened in New York, chances are, we would have been the ones investigating it."

Nikki picked up one of the few remaining empty containers and filled it with dirt. Glancing at Olivia, she mused, "Strange how it turned out that we'd meet anyway."

 

*-*-*-*

 

The day passed with little fanfare, and though she knew Nikki was doing all she could to keep Olivia's mind occupied, for the cop, time seemed to push her closer and closer to the edge.

"Sorry," Benson apologized at the con for the second time that day.

Wade took it in stride. "It's okay," she said as she slipped her nightgown over her head. "Frankly, I'm surprised you've lasted this long."

At the sink, Olivia replied dryly, "I'm not sure whether that's a compliment or not."

Tidying up the table, Nikki smiled and answered, "What I mean is, you've got a lot to think about right now and it's only getting harder. I'd say you did a hell of a job keeping your feelings at bay today."

"Well, I'm sure it would have raised some eyebrows if I couldn't keep my emotions under wrap."

"Your undercover skills deserve an award."

Laughing lightly, Olivia added, "And the company I kept helped." She refused to let Wade ignore the praise. "I mean it. Thank you."

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Nikki accepted with an embarrassed shrug.

"Perhaps the sentiment just doesn't translate properly," Benson mused. Reaching out for the front of Nikki's nightgown, Olivia grabbed a fistful of material and yanked the startled con towards her, kissing her hard on the lips.

A pleased Nikki pulled away slightly and smirked, "I think I got that message loud and clear."

"Did you?" Olivia asked. "Good. Because I owe you a thanks for last night, but that might take me a bit longer to translate."

"Good things we've got all night."

 

*-*-*-*

 

"So when are you going to tell me about Helen Stewart?"

Nikki had been awake for less than an hour and she wondered how Olivia knew. Was it the lack of the warm body the cop had moulded herself around that signalled Nikki's move to the top bunk? She allowed herself that bit of pleasant conceit before realizing what Olivia's first words of the morning had been.

"That's a hell of a way to greet someone," Nikki remarked while carefully avoiding the question.

"Don't worry, you didn't say her name in your sleep. Or worse." Nikki craned her neck over the edge of the mattress and Benson chuckled, sleepy and thick. "I am a cop, you know. It's my job to read people."

"Yeah, well, you read wrong."

"Did I?"

Nikki slid off the bunk and nearly yelped when she felt Olivia's hand on her calf.

"Skip the cigarette and come lay with me for a bit," Benson said.

Assenting, Nikki slipped under the thin blanket. "First sign of the screws and I'm out." She curled around Benson, enjoying their fit until she felt Olivia's feet against her own. "Jesus!" Nikki complained. "How can your feet be so bloody cold and your body so warm?"

"Why do you think I called you back into bed?" Nikki groaned her dismay. Revisiting her earlier question, Olivia tried again. "So, you and Miss Stewart."

"So, me and Miss Stewart nothing." Though Olivia didn't respond, Nikki knew she wasn't going to get away that easily. "Nothing anymore," she conceded. "We tried, but, you know, it was impossible, really."

When the lifer said nothing more, Olivia said, "Yeah, I guess I can see it. The situation isn't what I would call a workable one."

"Oh, it was workable. I just wanted too much and she… she didn't know what she wanted."

"That's not just you being stubborn, is it?" Olivia nuzzled Nikki's ear in order to soften the question.

"Well, she rebounded with Dr. Waugh, the prison shrink. Dr. Thomas Waugh. So draw your own conclusions, Officer Benson."

"Yet she obviously still cares about you."

Nikki snorted. "Oh, our Miss Stewart is full of good intentions, I'll give her that much. I'm her pet project. Not that I'm bitter or anything."

Olivia's chuckle tickled down Nikki's throat. "No. Not at all."

Nikki turned her head slightly to face Olivia. "Beyond the whole 'It's my job' bit, what tipped you off?"

Benson's brow furrowed as she tried to articulate her instincts. "I don't know," she admitted truthfully, "there was just something in the way you looked at each other. And the fact you called her by her first name."

Wade admired the cop for picking up the clue she hadn't even realized she had left. Then, with a sly grin, she said, "And I've called Bodybag by her first name twice since you've been here. Doesn't mean I want to shag her!"

The women shuddered in unison. "Thanks, I'll never that that out of my head," Olivia groaned.

The jingle of keys alerted them and Nikki bolted from the bed and for her cigarettes. The door swung open and another day began.

 

*-*-*-*

 

Benson barely made it to the front of the food counter when Dockley leaned over and hissed, "When do I get my gear?"

The cop blinked. "Sorry?"

"You heard me. Word has it your deal is going down today. I want my share by the weekend."

"Or what?" Benson's stare was icy and hard.

Dockley glanced menacingly at Nikki, who was sitting at a nearby table. "I'm just saying, right, that I might not be able to touch you, but that doesn't mean other people can't be got, if you catch my meaning."

Benson followed Shell's gaze, and Wade must have felt the attention her back was getting, because she turned. Seeing the two women looking at her, Nikki stood up and approached the counter. Other prisoners went around Olivia and quickly got their breakfast, as if sensing the storm brewing.

Benson's stare nailed Dockley to the floor. "If I thought for a second that Nikki Wade couldn't hand you your ass in tiny pieces, I might be worried. If that's it, I'd like my breakfast now."

Dockley's eyes burned red. "Oi! You listen to me. I've had just about enough of you walking around here like you own the place. The only reason you've still got two eyes in your bleedin' head is because I've let you, right? Anybody can be got to and no one would ever know who did it. You remember that."

"What's going on here, then?" Nikki asked as she stood beside Olivia. Closing ranks on the other side was an alert Yvonne Atkins, who could feel the trouble developing from her seat at the table.

The mob wife carefully whispered, "Everything all right, Liv?"

During Dockley's quiet outburst, Benson could feel the hackles rise on the back of her neck, and the flush of anger spread up to the tips of her ears. Her cop training told her to stay calm, that staying rational was the only way to defuse the situation. Perhaps it was her surroundings that made her overlook her training. Or maybe she had adapted her cover so well that she had forgotten. Either way, it wasn't the cop in her that reached out and grabbed Dockley by the throat.

Alarmed, but unsure of what to do, Nikki used her height as cover from the guards and Atkins twisted her body to do the same. Even the two Julies, who were nearby wiping tables, surreptitiously sidled up to the trio to block any curious eyes.

So overcome with rage, Benson didn't know where to begin. "I hear another word out of your mouth and I'm going to cut out your tongue, understand?" she whispered furiously, and the blonde blinked rapidly in response. "You sic your fucking pit bull Fenner on me and you have the fucking nerve to ask me for drugs?" Nikki wondered what Yvonne and the two Julies were making of this revelation. "I have just about had it up to here with your fucking bullshit, your fucking threats and every fucking thing about you. If you only knew…"

Nikki jumped in, worried Olivia might say something to blow her cover. "Olivia? Liv?" When Benson didn't respond, Nikki put her hand on the cop's arm. "Liv. You can't afford to be sent to the Block. Do you get what I'm saying to you?"

The red film over the American's eyes cleared and she unlocked her fingers from around Dockley's windpipe. McAllister chose that moment to make an appearance.

"What's all the fuss, ladies?"

Benson painted an apologetic expression on her face. "Sorry, sir. Just a little misunderstanding with Shell. She didn't realize I'm allergic to…" Olivia looked down at a nearby selection and couldn't identify a single ingredient. "… that," she pointed.

If the guilty looks of the women weren't enough to convince him that Benson was lying, the deep red spots around Dockley's throat were enough to do the trick. "That true, Shell?" he asked, knowing his chances of getting the truth out of Shell Dockley regardless of the circumstances, were slim. If the truth didn't suit her, she'd lie. And if she felt compelled to tell the truth, the unspoken rules between prisoners would prevent her from saying anything.

The blonde nervously nodded her head. "Yes, sir. Mix-up with the paperwork is all."

McAllister bit the inside of his bottom lip and nodded, though he didn't believe a word of it. "Fine," he said, "let's move along then, shall we?" He watched until Dockley slid an eggs and some toast onto Olivia's plate, and the group of women walked to their table. He looked at Dockley. "You okay, Shell?"

She rolled her eyes. "You'll forgive me, sir, if I tell you to sod off."

 

*-*-*-*

 

At the table, Yvonne leaned back in her chair and remarked, "I think you've got some explaining to do, Liv."

Benson told what she could, which wasn't much. She admitted her role in setting up deals through Dockley, though she kept the scope to the confines of the prison.

"Oh, Liv," Barbara said disapprovingly. "And you knew about this, Nikki?"

"She told me last week," Nikki informed.

"And I haven't done anything since," Olivia assured. Thumbing in Nikki's direction, she added, "I've been too scared of this one."

Even Barbara had to laugh.

Yvonne tried to put the pieces together. "And what was that bit about Fenner?"

Nikki looked at Olivia. "Show them."

Glancing around to make sure the screws were fairly occupied, Olivia half-stood and raised her shirt up her rib cage.

Barbara covered her mouth. "My goodness!"

"Fenner did that to you," Atkins growled.

Olivia nodded. "I told Shell I wasn't hooking her up with any more drugs. I guess she didn't like it."

"And we know when it comes to it, Dockley can't play with the big kids," Nikki said.

Yvonne clenched her jaw. "So she got a bigger kid. Bastard!"

"Please be careful, Liv," Barbara implored. "I don't trust either one of them."

"I will, I promise."

"Should have finished her off when you had the chance," Atkins said. "What?" she asked when she saw the reactions of Barbara and Nikki. Olivia simply shook her head. "Come on, Nikki, don't tell me this place wouldn't be better off without that slag around?"

Nikki conceded the point. "You've got me there."

"If I didn't have a chance of getting out of here soon…" Olivia trailed off, wondering just how far she would have gone. "Anyway, I've got more important things to think about than Shell Dockley."

*-*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

The blonde was still fuming long after breakfast. She dropped unceremoniously into a chair near the pool table and watched Denny play. When her turn was over, the young prisoner sat beside Dockley.

"What's up, Shell? You look like someone shit in your cereal."

"It's that bleedin' American, innit?" Dockley sneered. She threw a disgusting look in the direction of a table across the wing, where Olivia, Nikki and Crystal were sharing a laugh. "I've had it up to here with her, I have."

"Ah, come on, Shell, she's not so bad," Denny defended. Realizing those were not the words Dockley wanted to hear, she back-pedalled slightly. "What I mean is, I figure as long as she stays out of your way, there's no problem."

Dockley shot daggers at the far table. "There's a problem, all right. And mark my words, Den, Shell Dockley's going to fix it."

With that, the blonde stood up and stalked away, leaving behind an uneasy and unsettled Denny.

 

*-*-*-*

 

"… then Jules says 'Amen' and when we's all trying to be serious right, Denny hiccups. I thought we was gone for sure." As Crystal retold the time the two Julies brewed up some wine in Larkhall, both Olivia and Nikki laughed at the story. "The good Lord reminded me of my transgression the next day," the young Christian admitted. "How come you weren't there, Nikki?"

Nikki scoffed at the idea. "Are you serious? I helped make it, remember? I wasn't going to drink it!"

"You, aiding and abetting an illegal operation, and from within a prison to boot?" Olivia shook her head in mock disbelief. "I'm shocked, Nikki."

Crystal saw Denny hesitantly approach and called out, "Hey, Denny! We was just talking about you."

It was just enough of an invitation to convince Denny of what she wanted to do. As she came up to the table, she asked, "Oh, yeah? What about?"

"Remember that night in the two Julies' cell with the wine?"

"I wish I could forget," Denny groaned. "To this day I can't look at an apple without me head wanting to explode." When the laughter around the table faded, she looked at Olivia. "Could I talk to you about something?"

Benson looked around. "Is here okay?"

Denny shrugged. "Yeah, sure. It won't take a minute anyway." She shuffled from one foot to the other as she tried to gather her thoughts and her courage. She had known Shell for years and knew loyalty was hard to come by in prison. But she also knew that Olivia was one of the good ones. And she owed the American for what happened in the cell that first day. "I just thought you should know Shell's on the war path."

Nikki blew a short breath of scorn through her pursed lips. "What else is new?"

"No, I mean it," Denny stressed, "she's looking to do something crazy, man."

"Did she say what it was?" Olivia gently asked.

The young con shook her head. "Nothing obvious. But I've seen her like this before. And bad shit happens."

"That girl needs the wrath of the Lord brought down upon her," Crystal declared.

Denny smiled a bit. "Yeah, well, I've got nothing to do with all that. Why don't you get on your God phone and ask him for a favour?"

Crystal frowned. "Careful or I might have Him send a little extra for you."

"Nah." Denny nudged her cellmate with her arm. "You'd be too scared the cell's too small and He'd hit you by accident." She turned back to Olivia. "I mean it, right? Just watch your back with Shell."

"I will, Denny. Thanks."

"Well, I figured I owed you for that bit in the cell, yeah?"

Olivia understood. "Consider us even."

"Cheers, Liv," Denny beamed before she sauntered off.

Crystal watched as she walked away. "That girl's come a long way. The Lord's been hearing my prayers about her."

"Ask and ye shall receive," Nikki drawled, "isn't that how it goes?"

Crystal nodded her head appreciatively. "Sing it, sister." Tilting her chin in Olivia's direction, she said, "I'll add you to my prayers. With that psycho bitch around, you might need it."

 

*-*-*-*

 

"You worried about Shell Dockley?" Nikki asked as she watched Olivia pace the small cell. Although lunch and supper had passed without further confrontation with Dockley, the weight of Denny's warning hung over the day like a thick fog.

Olivia stopped moving and sat in a chair. "No. I mean, yeah, I've got to deal with it at some point, but for now, I'm wondering what's going on in New York."

"This could be it right now, yeah?"

Looking at her watch, Benson replied, "Well, it's almost eight here, so three in New York. Who knows?" She glanced up at Nikki. "Sit down. Distract me." Wade raised her eyebrows suggestively and Olivia laughed. "Later. I mean, talking."

With a dramatic disappointed sigh, Nikki sat in the opposite chair. "What would you like to talk about?"

"I don't know," Olivia replied. "We've talked a lot about me. Let's talk about you. Beyond these walls."

"There's not much beyond this place. I've got an ex-girlfriend who still runs our nightclub."

"Family?"

Nikki played with her cigarette package. "A mother and a father, like most people." She saw Benson's smirk and flashed one of her own. "My father is a Navy man, my mother a Navy man's wife. Lots of G&T and bridge. I've got an older brother as well, though I haven't seen any of them since I basically got kicked out at sixteen."

"They found out you were a lesbian," Olivia guessed.

"Yep. Bounced around from friend to friend, but somehow managed to stick with school. Found out I had a fairly good head for numbers."

"The literature came later?"

Nikki grinned. "Well, I didn't seem to have the luxury of time back then. I was more concerned about fact; I didn't have much time for fiction. I'll give prison that much –I've read more books in my time here than I did my entire life up to that point."

"So how did you get from sixteen to here?"

"I don't know," Wade admitted. "You think you've got all the time in the world back then, you know? I hit my twenties and was working in a club; a bit of tending bar, some book work. One night, this fantastic blonde comes in and embarrassingly, I fell head over heels."

"This is your ex, I presume?"

"Yeah. Trisha." Nikki smiled at the memory. "Before I knew it, we weren't only living together, we had decided to open our own business."

"That's a risky thing to do in your twenties," Benson said admiringly.

"Two women in their twenties," Nikki said. "The hoops we had to go through with the banks. They couldn't believe two little women were going to go into business without a big strong man to help them. And then… here I am."

Though Olivia had read the file, she encouraged Nikki to continue. "What happened that night?"

Nikki held up her cigarettes. "Do you mind?" When Benson gave silent consent, Wade slipped one out and lit it. Leaning back, she hugged herself protectively with one arm and inhaled a deep lungful of smoke. "I turned up at the club one night to take her home. There was just her and this shit who used to come in. D.S. Gossard. You had to butter up the local filth to keep them off your backs. Most of them were okay but… Gossard. He had her pressed against the bar and he was saying, "Come on, rug-muncher, have some of the real thing for a change." I just saw red. I picked up a bottle and smashed it over his head. He just laughed." She took a shaky drag of her cigarette. "So I stuck what was left of it in his neck." Wiping away a tear with a trembling hand, she pressed her lips together and looked at Olivia. "So, having second thoughts about sharing my bed?"

Olivia frowned at the implication. "Why would I? Because I'm a cop? Because the man you killed was a cop? I'll admit looking at things objectively isn't always my strongest suit. But try and step back and look at it this way –what if you were a man? Would people have a more favourable view of it, because as a society, we seem to expect a man to protect a woman?" She shook her head. "What if Gossard was a janitor instead of a cop? What would people say then? No. What it comes down to is this –a person killed another person to prevent harm coming to another person. It doesn't excuse what you did, but things can't be looked at in isolation. That's how I view it, anyway. Besides, who among us can say we wouldn't have done the same thing?"

Nikki was quiet for a long time. At last, she asked, "Have you ever killed anyone, Liv?"

"Yes," she confessed, "and just because it was in the line of duty doesn't make it any easier. The only difference is, I got a leave of absence and you got a life sentence."

"Yeah."

Deciding to move the subject in a better direction, Benson remarked, "Helen Stewart seems to think you've got grounds for an appeal. Do you know the basis behind it? Judicial error? Case evidence omitted?"

"No idea," Nikki said. "It's all Greek to me."

"But Helen seems pretty confident, so there must be something."

Nikki allowed herself a small smile. "Yeah. I suppose so."

"Good. Once this is all over, if there's anything I can do to help, let me know."

"Thanks. I will." Nikki extinguished her cigarette. "Listen, I collected on that bet yesterday, so if you need a phone card…"

Benson reached over and slapped Nikki on the shoulder. "Very funny. But no, not tonight, anyway. Can I have a rain check for tomorrow?"

"Of course."

"Okay. So, we never really got to talk about you and Helen Stewart this morning…"

Nikki groaned and lit another cigarette.

 

*-*-*-*

 

The weight of Nikki's arm over Benson's waist as she lay spooned behind the cop was a welcome feeling for Olivia. Somewhere in that state between sleep and unconsciousness, she asked, "What time is it?"

"Just shortly past seven, I should think," Wade whispered into Olivia's hair. "I heard the day staff come in about ten minutes ago. Go back to sleep; you've still got a good half hour."

"You never left," Benson mumbled.

"Someone wouldn't let go of my arm." Olivia hummed in sleepy amusement. "Besides," Nikki went on, "it's only been the last few hours that you've gotten any real rest. I didn't have the heart to wake you."

Rolling leisurely over onto her back, Benson cracked open her eyes. "Did I keep you awake?"

"Yes," the con replied, "but I don't blame you. You've got a lot on your mind."

Olivia lazily lifted her arm and stroked Nikki's cheek with the back of her hand. "Sorry." With the other hand, she covered a yawn, then said, "It'll be all over soon."

"Yes, it will."

The wistful strain in Nikki's reply got Olivia's attention and she rolled to her side to face her. "Sorry. I didn't mean –"

"I know what you meant," Nikki cut in. "It's all right. But it is all connected, innit? Everything stems off from your case. When that's finished…" The words remained unspoken because they didn't need to be said. "Anyway," Nikki continued, "I knew what I was getting into that night you seduced me."

"What!"

"Don't play coy; we both know what happened," Nikki teased.

"You're delirious," Olivia declared and pushed Nikki away. "Get away from me, it might be contagious." She rolled over and felt Nikki spoon up behind her again. "Seduced you!" she chuckled. The feel of Nikki's warm breath on her cheek as she nuzzled Benson's ear made the chuckle die down to a low moan. "I'll never get back to sleep if you keep doing that."

Nikki stopped. "Do you always get what you want?"

Olivia flipped over again. "Do you always do what you're told?" And with that, she clutched a fistful of Nikki's hair and brought the con's mouth down to her own.

 

*-*-*-*

 

A half hour left them little time to do much beyond stoking their hormones again and when the keys were heard in the lock, Nikki was already up and ready with her bath robe and towel.

"I'll never be happier to stand under that cold water," she remarked, much to Olivia's amusement.

"I'll try and refrain from seducing you again," the cop said.

Ignoring the empty promise, Nikki asked, "Will you call your partner after wash-up?"

Olivia nodded. "If they'll let me."

"If you get out of the showers quick and down to the phone before breakfast, you should be all right," Nikki reasoned. "If you get back and I'm not here, the phone card is in the book on the table."

The door swung open and Dominic looked in, surprised. "You ladies are up bright and early this morning. Looks like you're raring to go."

"In more ways than one," Nikki muttered. As she exited the cell, she called over her shoulder to the young guard, "Is the water nice and cold this morning? God knows I need it."

McAllister tilted his head in confusion as the two cellmates walked away.

 

*-*-*-*

 

Despite her eagerness to phone Elliot, Olivia savoured her time under the sharp spray of the shower and again was the last person remaining. She found here, just as she did at home, that the staccato beat of the water against her face and body made for moments of clarity and thought. Here, under the lulling sensation, she could think about Elliot and the case; New York; England; Larkhall and Nikki.

Nikki.

She was so deep in thought that the only time she realized Shell had slipped into the room was when she felt a sharp pain between her ribs and saw the blonde's maniacal grin as Olivia slipped down the wall of the shower and collapsed in a pool of water and her own blood.

 

*-*-*-*

 

When Nikki entered the cell, she was surprised but not alarmed that Olivia hadn't returned. The cop had established a pattern in her short time in Larkhall, and though Nikki didn't share the sentiment, she knew Benson enjoyed every last minute of wash up. It was only as time passed –time that long surpassed what the screws allowed –that she began to worry.

As her long legs strode towards the showers, Nikki spotted one of the female guards.

"Miss Barker." The guard turned at her name. "Have you seen Olivia, Miss?"

The woman frowned. "No. Surely she's done wash up by now. What's wrong?"

She paused and wondered how much to say. She didn't trust the screws as far as she could throw them. Why couldn't she have run into McAllister? But the decision had to be made, and she knew she'd rather be safe than sorry. "She had a bit of a dust up with Shell Dockley." She knew she wouldn't have to spell it out for the guard, and sure enough, Barker nodded her understanding. "Can I just check the showers? I'm probably just being paranoid, but –"

Barker shook her head and cut the lifer off. "No. Come on. There's no harm checking, is there?"

"Thank you, Miss."

They entered the cavernous tile room, the barred florescent lights flickering on and off, the sound of water dripping endlessly from ancient taps.

"Is this your idea of quick?" Nikki called out loudly, the hollow humour in her voice bouncing off ceramic.

It was Di Barker who found her. The guard's alarmed expletive brought Nikki's attention to the stall and the con froze in the doorway. "I need medical assistance on the second floor!" the screw yelled into her radio. "There's been an accident in the showers."

Nikki pushed Barker aside and stepped into the stall, her shoes splashing the collection of blood and water that Benson's prone body had prevented from swirling down the drain. Kneeling, the first thing she thought to do was check for a pulse. Her warm fingers touched wet skin, turned cold from the water and blood loss. The cop was unconscious, but had a strong pulse.

"That's my girl," Nikki whispered.

"Is she all right?" Barker asked.

Nikki passed on the little medical information she could, and turning Benson over slightly from her fetal position, the two women could see the American had been stabbed in the back. With the blood continuing to seep out, neither could determine much more. Nikki peeled off her sweater and bunching it up into a ball, pressed it firmly against the wound. The pressure caused Benson to groan. Wade gently lifted the cop partially off the cold tile and cradled her, trying to generate as much heat with her hands and body as she could. Looking up at Barker, she asked, "Where the hell is the bloody help?"

"They're on their way, Nikki."

As if on cue, a team of four officers came in with two medical kits and a make-shift gurney. One stepped forward and asked, "What's happened?"

Nikki sneered. "What's happened? She's been stabbed and is losing blood by the second while you work out the bloody obvious!"

Di crouched down. "Nikki…"

The medical officer touched Di's arm and got her to stand again. Looking in Nikki's direction, he inquired, "Who's that?"

"Nikki Wade," she explained. "We both found her –Olivia Benson."

"Right. Let's go," he said to his fellow officers. "Miss Wade, you're going to have to get out."

The con shook her head adamantly. "I'm not leaving her."

"You don't have to leave," he said gently, "but we need to help her and there's only so much room."

Nikki blinked at the common sense and replied, "Yeah. Right. Sorry." She handed Olivia off to one of the guards who had squeezed into the stall. Standing up and stepping out, she brushed the back of her hand across her worried brow and wiped them on her t-shirt, oblivious to the trails of red that streaked across the white fabric.

A shaken Barker put her hand on Nikki's elbow. "Come on, Nikki."

"I'm not leaving her!"

"You're in shock," Di said. "Hell, I'm in shock. Let them do their work and I'll make sure you get to see her later, yeah? Come on, look at you. Do you want her to see you like this when she wakes up?"

Nikki glanced down at herself and realized for the first time how she must look. Shoes that were wet and dark, jeans that fared no better, and a t-shirt that would cause anyone not aware of the situation to call medical attention for her. With a trembling hand, she ran her fingers through her hair in a subconscious gesture to calm herself down.

"Yeah," she replied at last. "Yeah, okay." She watched as they put Benson on the stretcher. "She's going to be all right, isn't she?"

The medical officer nodded. "She's lost a lot of blood, but she's stable. I gave her some morphine for the pain, so she's going to be out of it for a while. The doctor will have to take a look at the wound to be certain, but I'm confident she'll be fine."

"When can I see her?"

Di stepped in. "Nikki, I promised I'd get you in to see her as soon as possible and I will. But right now, you need to take care of you." She looked around at the scene. "And I've got to fill out paperwork until the next millennium."

 

*-*-*-*

 

"What the hell hap –" Helen came to a full stop in the doorway of the cell when she saw Nikki. "Jesus Christ!"

Nikki jumped up from her chair and didn't even bother to follow Helen's gaze. "It's not mine. Can I see her now? I asked Miss Barker…"

"She told me," Helen replied. "That's why I'm here. But I'd like to know what the hell happened first."

"We found Olivia in the showers."

"I got that from Di Barker, thank you. What I want to know is why did you feel compelled to go look for Olivia in the first place?" Nikki feigned ignorance. She didn't have the time to get into it all. Helen frowned her displeasure. "It wouldn't have anything to do with Shell Dockley, would it?"

The con remembered her words to Barker and groaned. "Shit."

"Shit? I'd say so! Jesus, Nikki!" Stewart pressed her fingers between her brow. "Nikki, don't go and do anything stupid. Think about your appeal."

"What?" When she realized what Stewart was implying, the tall brunette exploded. "Why don't you piss off and take my bloody appeal with you! I've got someone I care about lying in the hospital, going through God knows what, and you think, what? That I'm sitting here figuring out how I can stick it to Shell bloody Dockley?" She waved her hand in disgust. "Of course you would, wouldn't you? Because I couldn't possibly have an emotional reaction you approved of, could I? So is that why you're here? To babysit me like the child you think I am?" She stopped and realized her actions were giving credence to her words. Mustering up as much control as she could, Nikki said, "Look. I just want to see Olivia, all right? Please."

Helen pressed her lips together and simply nodded. "Come on."

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Why isn't she in a real hospital?" Nikki demanded as she stood outside the door to Larkhall's infirmary.

"The doctor says she's stable," Helen explained. "Paramedics came in from the local hospital to administer a blood transfusion, but by all accounts, she's fine."

Nikki bristled. "If it had been one of the screws, they would have been shipped out."

"Nikki…"

The con's face softened. "Sorry. Is that it, then?"

"Well, it looks like she was stabbed with something small –something the size of a pencil, maybe a sharpened toothbrush. But they were able to stop the bleeding and stitch it up."

"When will she get out?"

"Depends how she feels," Stewart replied. "But the doctor seems to think once the morphine wears off, he can get her on some regulated pain killers and she could be back on the wing in a couple of days."

Nikki took in all the information, then quietly asked, "Can I go in now?"

Helen offered a small smile. "Go on. I'll be outside when you're done. No rush."

Nikki returned the smile and pushed open the door.

The florescent bulb above the bed shown down on Olivia, and the way the light bounced off the white sheets only served to make Benson look paler. With the lack of a heart monitor or any other real medical devices beyond the IV drip, Nikki wasn't sure if she should be alarmed or relieved. There was no chair or stool in the small room, so Nikki stood quietly at the side of the bed, as if any noise might startle the cop awake. She awkwardly reached out for Olivia's hand.

"So…" As expected, silence was the only response. "So," Nikki said again, "everyone seems to think you'll be all right, so that's good. Another scar to add to your collection. Though remind me to get you to tell me the truth about that one on your shoulder." She absently rubbed her thumb across the back of Benson's hand. "Anyway, just thought I'd see how you were and to let you know how things were going. And to tell you that you owe me a sweater. I'll have you know that was cashmere. I can't get that at the Larkhall souvenir shop." She added a small laugh, then looking down, added, "Oh, and a t-shirt. Maybe I'll just nick one from your collection, what do you think?" Her gaiety died away and she was surprised to feel hot tears prick her eyes. "Don't ever do this to me again, you understand?" Again, there was no response, but in a small way, Nikki was grateful. The last thing the cop needed right now was to see Wade become some blubbering idiot. "I should go; let you get some rest. I know you haven't gotten much lately, even though I'd like to take some credit for that." She smiled again. "And I'm starving. Totally missed breakfast during all of this." Remembering Olivia's agenda for the morning, Nikki swore. "Shit. Your partner." She brushed a gentle caress across Olivia's brow. "Don't worry, I'll take care of it." An image of Shell Dockley came to mind, uninvited. "I'll take care of all of it."

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Do you want me to bring you up something to eat?" Helen asked when they returned to the wing.

Nikki sat on the edge of the bed and answered, "No, I'm fine. Besides, if I have you waiting on me, people will talk." She tempered her tone with a smile.

"God, if it's one thing I've learned, it's that people will talk regardless!"

Nikki chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. But no, I'm fine, thanks. I just… need to get my head straight." She pulled at her shirt. "And clean up."

"Okay. Listen, I'll have to call you up to the office at some point to get your statement as to what happened," Helen informed. "I've already taken Di Barker's; it's just a formality."

"Okay."

Helen looked as if she was about to say more, but seemed to think better of it. "Right. Well, I'll see you later, then." As she got to the door, Nikki's voice stopped her.

"Thanks, Helen."

Stewart simply smiled and left.

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Jesus Christ!" the two Julies exclaimed in unison as they rushed into Nikki's cell. "We heard…" When they saw the tall brunette sitting forlornly the bed, her shoes still damp enough to leave a wet impression on the concrete of the floor and the blood drying to dark stains on her shirt, they repeated their exclamation. "Jesus Christ!"

"What the bloody hell's going on? I heard something about –" Yvonne Atkins stopped short in the doorway. "Christ!"

"That's what we said."

"Seems to be the order of the day," Wade remarked, and lifting her head from her fixed stare on her hands, her eyes glazing over fingernails that housed blood underneath them, she relayed the news. "She's all right. And besides the bloody obvious mental breakdown I'm having, I'm fine, too."

Yvonne stepped forward and knelt in front of Wade. With a gentle touch on her friend's knee, she softly asked, "What happened?"

"Shell bloody Dockley happened!" Nikki spit out with unrivalled venom. She closed her eyes tightly and willed herself a measure of control. "Sorry," she apologized, "I don't mean to take it out on you."

"It's okay, Nikki," Atkins said.

"Yeah," Julie S chimed in, "we understand."

"We do," Julie J assured.

"Shell Dockley made good on her threat," Yvonne surmised.

Nikki nodded. "There's no proof, of course, but who else could it be? The doctor thinks it was a small weapon, the size of a pencil or toothbrush. Or the filed end of a spoon or knife. Like the kind of shiv she tried to pull on Olivia the first day she was here."

"Bitch," Atkins swore. "Well, it'd made sense, wouldn't it? She works the kitchen along with a handful of other girls. Who would notice a bit of plastic going missing?"

"Nikki," Julie S said, "we work the kitchen."

Wade frowned in disbelief. "I'm not accusing you two!"

"No, what I mean is –"

"What she means is –"

"Yvonne's right –who would notice a bit of plastic going missing? If you get my meaning."

Julie J picked up on the train of thought. "Yeah. What's good for the goose –"

"Is good for the gander!"

"About time someone gave it to Shell Dockley."

Nikki's mouth dropped open. "I don't believe I'm hearing this, from you two, of all people. I expect more of that from Yvonne."

The mob wife jumped in. "Oi! Now listen, the Julies might be on to something, hear me out." The Julies moved in conspiratorially. "We know she did it, right? And we know she's got at least half a brain in that bloody head of hers, so she's gotten rid of the weapon, right? We just need to put it back."

The shorter Julie crumpled her face in confusion. "How do you suppose…" her face lit up. "Ah, I hear you."

"We get something from the kitchen," Julie J said.

"And we make sure Shell Dockley gets it," her cellmate finished.

Yvonne grinned devilishly. "In more ways than one."

Nikki looked back and forth between the three women. "I don't believe you," she said incredulously. "You want to plant a weapon on Shell Dockley?"

Atkins shook her head. "No. We want to plant it in her cell." Nikki could only laugh at the minor distinction only Yvonne would make. "Besides," the older woman went on, "it's not really 'planting', is it? We know she did it. This is more like… returning." She turned to the two Julies. "Can we count on you, girls?"

Nodding in unison, as they did with most things, they assured, "We are on the job, Yvonne." They looked at each other. "Let's go."

"Meet me in my cell when you're done," Atkins told them.

"Right."

When they left, Yvonne turned to Nikki and stood up. "Take off your shirt."

Nikki jerked her head back, startled. "Sorry?"

"Take off your shirt."

Slowly grabbing the hem, Nikki pulled it up over her shoulders and head. Standing up, she handed it to Yvonne and quipped, "I don't think now is the time. You'd only be a rebound."

"Eh? Oh, sod off!" Atkins laughed. Giving the subject its proper gravity, she then asked, "That's Olivia's blood, innit?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm going to need it. The more convincing we can make that weapon look, the better." She saw the look of distress sneak through the cracks of Nikki's tough façade. Touching her friend's shoulder, Yvonne said, "Don't worry, love. She'll be fine and Shell Dockley's gonna pay for it."

Nikki reached for the mob wife and embraced her. "You're a rock, Yvonne. Thank you."

Atkins returned the hug and the feeling. "No worries, sweetheart. Now back off before someone comes in and sees us, with you half-dressed."

Nikki couldn't help but laugh. "Go on, then."

Atkins held up the shirt and winked. "I'll see you later." But before leaving, she asked, "You will be all right, yeah?"

"Yeah," Nikki answered. "I'm going to wash up then take care of a few things." Yvonne's eyes narrowed and Nikki shook her head. "Nothing like that, I promise. I'll see you later." When Atkins left, Nikki glanced over at the phone card, still peeking out from the pages of her thick book.

*-*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

"Hello?" The groggy greeting stumbled down the phone line and for the first time, Nikki remembered the time difference.

"Shit," she said and hesitated momentarily.

He must have sat up, because his voice was a fraction clearer. "Hello? Who is this?"

'In for a penny,' Nikki thought to herself. "H-hello. Is this Detective Elliot Stabler?"

Instead of answering the question, he repeated, "Who is this?"

"It's… it's Nikki Wade. Olivia's cellmate." It sounded odd to hear it out loud.

Now Nikki was sure he was sitting up. "What happened?"

"Let me stress that she's okay," Wade assured, knowing if the positions were switched, she'd be thinking the worst, too. "But she was… stabbed in the showers this morning. About two hours ago."

She could almost see him lean into the phone, as if holding the receiver tighter would transport him to England. "How did it happen?"

"Shell Dockley," Nikki said, assuming from what Olivia told her that Stabler would know who she was referring to. "She got wind of the deal that went down yesterday. She didn't take too kindly to getting the brush off from Olivia. I… I found Liv in the showers." She faltered at the memory.

There was such a long silence on the other end that Nikki wondered if the connection had been cut. His quiet voice told her otherwise. "I don't even know where to begin asking you questions."

"Olivia told me last week," Nikki began, understanding full well what the cop meant. "She needed someone to trust, to watch her back. Not that I was any bloody help in that department." She paused for a moment. "Anyway, she told me who she was and who you were. I called information to get your number. Sorry about the time. Completely slipped my mind."

"It's okay," he said, "you did the right thing. I'm just… she never told me."

"Maybe she was worried what you'd think about her trusting a cop killer."

"Listen," he replied, "it doesn't matter what I might think. She obviously trusts you; that's good enough for me."

She smiled at the faint praise. "You Yanks are a strange lot, I'll give you that much." More seriously, she asked, "Will you make arrangements to get her out of here the minute she's able? She's in the prison infirmary and I don't trust the screws to watch her 24/7. And I really don't trust Shell Dockley."

"I'm going to be on the earliest flight possible," he answered. "Even then, it's going to take me…" Stabler trailed off while he figured the flight and the time. "At least twelve hours. Hasn't anyone pulled Dockley aside?"

Nikki snorted. "She's psychotic, but not stupid. I'd wager a month's worth of fags she's gotten rid of the weapon and maybe even cooked up an alibi. Besides, she's in tight with one of the screws. Guards."

"So she's just going to walk on this?"

"Oh, don't worry. I might not have been able to prevent it from happening, but I've got things covered from here."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," he said.

There was something about the cop that appealed to Nikki's nature and she remarked, "You're all right, Detective Stabler." She heard his chuckle and nodded. "Will you phone the Governor and tell her the truth?"

"That's Karen Betts, right?" he asked, pulling the name from his memory banks.

"Yeah."

"I figure she'll probably be phoning me to tell me what happened. I've got my name down as an emergency contact."

"Shit, I didn't even think of that," Wade swore. "Sorry."

"No," he forgave, "I appreciate the head's up. And if Olivia's okay, Betts'll figure there's no sense in calling right away. What's the point with me here and her there, right? But this way, it'll give me time to find a flight. I'll fill her in when she calls."

"Okay." She wasn't sure what else to say. "I guess that's it, then."

"I'll see you when I get there."

This piece of information startled her. "You'll see me?"

"Yeah, so wear your best outfit."

"Now I know why you two get on so well."

His smile seeped into his words. "I'm interested in finding out how you to get along so well. Will you look out for her for me?"

His switch from humour to concern caught her breath. "Yeah. Yeah, I will. I promise."

 

*-*-*-*

 

Three hours later, Karen Betts hung up the phone more sharply than she had intended. "Bloody Americans!" she cursed out loud. She had just gotten the full story behind Olivia Benson; the undercover ruse, the drug deal, the kids. 'Bloody Americans and their secrets!' And now she would have to be a conspirator along with them, because there was no way in hell she could share this information with anyone and expect Olivia to make it to the end of the day. Fortunately, with Benson being an obvious victim of a stabbing, Betts could put an additional guard in the infirmary without raising suspicion. She already felt a migraine coming on as she began the paperwork that would have Olivia out of Larkhall before the new week began.

 

*-*-*-*

 

Fenner glanced around, and confident no one saw him, he entered Dockley's cell. Had he not known better, he would never have thought this woman had viciously stabbed someone only hours earlier. He watched as she painted her toenails, and, tilting his chin at the glass container, said, "You know that's not allowed."

"Oh, come on, Mr. Fenner," she pouted. "It's only a bit of pretty." She looked down and continued her task.

He shook his head in an odd sense of admiration. "You are sure of yourself, aren't you, Shell? I hope you haven't cocked things up with this whole Benson business, though."

"How so, sir? I haven't done nothing."

"Don't play me, Shell, it's not worth your time. If I wanted you down the Block, you'd be there."

"And if anyone thought I has something to do with poor Liv, they'd have come searched my cell, wouldn't they?"

"And would they find anything?" he asked.

"Don't be daft, Jim," she replied. "Let's say I did have something to do with that tragic accident. I would've got rid of the weapon in the rubbish bin that went out this morning, wouldn't I?" She stretched out her legs and pointed her toes. "What do you think, sir?"

Fenner could only shake his head at the woman's gall.

 

*-*-*-*

 

Nikki had bypassed lunch and instead was allowed by Helen to sit with Olivia. The cop flitted in and out of consciousness as the pain killers kicked in and wore off, and Nikki was able to tell Olivia about Stabler's arrival.

"Chances are, he won't be able to get into London until later tonight, which means he won't show up at Larkhall until tomorrow morning. For the best, really," she said as she brushed Olivia's hair back. "You look like hell."

Benson clutched Nikki's free hand. "Thank you," she replied weakly.

Nikki knew the woman wasn't referring to her quip. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Benson closed her eyes and shook her head. "No," she replied, summoning enough strength to make it sound like an order. "You did all you could," she added, her voice now a whisper. "I owe you. A sweater, at least."

Nikki's eyes widened. "You heard me?"

Olivia smiled, then slipped back under the comfort of unconsciousness.

It was her growling stomach that reminded her of the missed lunch. Nikki put her book down and looked at Olivia, who was still asleep. She was contemplating returning to the wing for supper when the door opened.

"Hiya, Nikki," Helen greeted.

"Hi, Helen. Sorry. Miss Stewart."

The shorter woman chose to ignore the jab. "They're about to serve tea; I thought you might like to go up and have something. I know you missed lunch."

"I won't even ask how you know." Nikki turned to the bed. "I was just thinking of getting something myself," she admitted.

"She'll be fine," Helen assured. "I okay'd a request from Karen Betts to put an additional guard at the door, if that's what you're worried about."

"Yes, I suppose that's part of it."

Helen tilted her head. "And the rest?"

"I don't know," Wade shrugged. "I feel a bit responsible, really."

"You did all you could," Stewart said.

Nikki looked at her and smiled. "You know, she told me the exact same thing. Word for word."

"Well, do you believe us, then?"

"I suppose so."

"You suppose so?"

Nikki rolled her eyes. "Okay. I can't take on the both of you at once. I know when I'm beat."

"Good," Stewart said approvingly.

Stealing another look at the cop, Nikki asked, "Can I come back later?"

"For a little while," Helen allowed. "Now, let's go get you fed."

 

*-*-*-*

 

The wing had an unusually quiet pall over it, and nowhere was this more evident than at the serving counter. Word and rumour had spread like wildfire, and by tea time, Shell Dockley's guilt in the stabbing was known, if not proven. Many women avoided eye contact with the blonde behind the counter, out of fear or disgust, but there were many more who made their contempt known through hard stares and icy body language.

"Yeah, well, I don't need any of ya, do I?" Dockley proclaimed loudly when the two Julies pushed her aside as if they never saw her. When Denny approached for her food, Shell leaned forward and said, "Can you believe this, Den? You'd think I offed Mother bleedin' Teresa!" The young prisoner didn't reply. "Oi, what crawled up your arse?"

Denny bit her bottom lip and quietly said, "You've gone too far this time, Shell."

The blonde couldn't believe what she was hearing. With a snort, she moved back. "Yeah, whatever, Denny. Why don't you piss off to your new mates?" She dropped a ladle of food onto Denny's plate with sharp punctuation.

If the wing had been quiet before, it literally held its collective breath now –behind the small form of Helen Stewart at the barred entrance was the dark glowering figure of Nikki Wade.

As they entered the area, Helen discreetly laid her hand on Nikki's arm. "I'll tell Dominic to take you back down to see Olivia whenever you're ready," she told the tall woman. Nikki's stare burned across the room and hit Dockley full on. "Nikki," Stewart said, then repeated the name with a touch of force. "Nikki." This got Wade's attention. "If you do something that gets you down the Block, you won't be able to see her."

The line between Nikki's brows softened and she found enough amusement in Stewart's warning to raise an eyebrow. "So you've given up using my appeal as leverage?"

Helen narrowed her eyes and feigned defeat. "Well, that wasn't working, was it?"

"I'll be good, I promise," she vowed.

"I'll hold you to that," Helen replied. "Let Dominic know when you're finished, okay?"

"Okay." She took a step towards the counter, then stopped. "Miss Stewart?" she called out as Helen walked over to McAllister. When the Scot turned, Nikki gave a self-conscious shrug and said simply, "Thanks." When Helen accepted it with a small smile, Nikki began towards the serving area again.

If she felt every eye of the wing following her path, Nikki gave no indication. She ignored the interested stare of Jim Fenner who was hovering in a corner, the bastard obviously hoping the con would give him an excuse to use some force. And she pushed aside the feel of Helen's gaze that had settled between her shoulder blades. The sound of Nikki's tray on the counter sounded like a gunshot in the deathly silent room.

"Oh, is that chicken pie?" Nikki asked with exaggerated pleasure. "My favourite. I'll have some of that, thanks."

Dockley was the only one at the counter, because any other available hand had quietly made themselves scarce. The blonde sauntered up to the food, but it was the slight tremble in her hand as she dropped the serving into Nikki's plate that gave her away.

Wade smiled appreciatively. "Milk, please."

The audience's shocked silence was nothing in comparison to Shell's. Dockley had expected an outburst, a show of violence; anything but this unsettling cheerfulness.

As Shell poured the milk, Nikki leaned forward and whispered through the plastered smile on her face, "You're lucky we have an audience or I would take great delight in leaping over this counter and throttling the worthless life out of you."

With false bravado, Shell sneered, "Careful, Wade. It's funny the things that can happen to someone when they think they're top dog round here. Just ask your friend."

The taunt failed to get a rise out of Nikki. "Then I wouldn't get too comfortable in the position if I were you, Shell."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Nikki shrugged. "It's just a long drop from Enhanced. Figuratively speaking, of course." She lifted her tray. "Though I wouldn't mind giving you a push."

"Sorry I'm late," Yvonne said as she came up beside Nikki. "I couldn't find my spoon." She winked, then looking around, remarked, "It's quieter than a bloody church in here. Who died?"

Without breaking eye contact with Dockley, Nikki replied, "No one yet, Yvonne."

The older woman looked down at the selection. "Is that chicken pie? I'll have me some of that."

 

*-*-*-*

 

Slowly, but surely, a smatter of conversation began amongst the other prisoners and the wing returned to a cautious normalcy. The explosion that the wing had expected never materialized, but it did nothing to quell the heightened anticipation. If anything, a subdued Nikki Wade only seemed more dangerous.

"Self satisfied bitch," Yvonne spit out as she and Nikki sat down with Barbara. "What I wouldn't pay to wipe that smirk off her face."

"You're not the one who had to stand there and listen to her practically brag about what she had done," Nikki retorted, her nostrils still flaring as she controlled her anger.

Atkins took a sip of her coffee and glared at Dockley over the rim. "Yeah, well, let's see how much bragging she does when the screws toss her cell."

"Everything go smooth, then?"

"As silk. Now we just gotta put a little bug in Betts ear."

Nikki thought of Stabler's arrival, and for the first time since she left the infirmary that day, Wade allowed herself a genuine smile. "I think I've got that covered."

 

*-*-*_*

 

True to her word, Helen had given Dominic the okay to bring Nikki down to visit Olivia after dinner. Although Benson had continued her cycle of drifting in and out, Nikki stayed as long as she could before McAllister gently told her it was time for lock up. She bartered for a few extra minutes and the young guard couldn't say no.

"Do you think he fancies me?" Nikki asked the sleeping cop, and was surprised when she received a sleepy smile in return. "More likely he fancies the pants off you. Not that I can blame him, I suppose. Anyway, I've got to go, but I'll see you in the morning. Doctor says you should be ready to get off the strong stuff and move down to the paracetamol. Which is good for everyone because God knows I'm getting tired of the sound of my own voice." The knock on the door was Dom's polite way of telling Nikki her time was up, and she sighed. "Right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow. And your partner. Should be fun times for all." She stood up and pressed a kiss on Benson's forehead. "Sleep well, Liv."

It hadn't been that long ago since Nikki had had her own cell. As a lifer, it was standard procedure to be given her own cell. She didn't know whether that was supposed to be a measure of decency on the part of the prison system, or just more punishment. As a loner, Nikki always took it to be the former. Though her reputation as well as her crime gave her a large measure of respect, the last thing she needed was to have to sleep with an eye open. The only reason she had been two'd up with Barbara was because the woman had a touch of claustrophobia and the big brains upstairs thought sharing might help her. Nikki reminded herself to ask Barbara how she was coping with the new cell on Enhanced.

As it was, when she entered her cell and heard the heavy door lock behind her, she realized for the first time in over a year, she was truly alone. And for the first time, she found no comfort in that privilege.

 

*-*-*-*

 

Karen Betts extended her hand. "Good to meet you, Detective. Though I have to admit, I wish the circumstances were different." She gestured to the opposite chair. "Please, sit."

Elliot accepted the offer and sat down. "I'm glad you could see me so early, Ms. Betts. I'm sure this has all been a bit crazy for you."

"That's one way of putting it." Holding out a pack of cigarettes, she asked, "Fag?"

Stabler smirked. "No, married."

The confusion clearly played across Betts' face until she realized his joke. "Ah, that pesky English slang. I'll be more careful." She slid a long cigarette out and flicked her lighter. "I've had more of these in the last 24 hours than I have all month."

The American was gracious enough to look contrite. "Yeah, sorry about all this. I'm sure you can understand why this had to go down the way it did."

Exhaling, the governor had to nod her head. "I suppose I do," she admitted. "It's just a bit of cold water to find out what's been going on under your nose. I had no idea. I'm just glad it didn't end up any worse than it did."

"So, she is okay?"

"I spoke to the doctor before your arrival. He seems to think he can move her down from the medication to something like paracetamol. Equivalent to aspirin," she clarified when she saw his look. "The paper work set a new world record for clearing bureaucratic red tape, so I can release her once the doctor gives the all clear."

"Today?"

"I'm not sure. No later than tomorrow morning, definitely. Don't worry, I put an extra guard on her door last night."

Her words soothed his concern and he nodded his thanks. "Can I see her?"

"Of course," she replied, extinguishing the cigarette and standing up. "I'll take you down immediately."

Stabler held his hand up, stopping her. "I was wondering if I could see someone else first." Her puzzled look urged him to continue. "Nikki Wade."

Betts couldn't keep her surprise out of her voice. "Nikki Wade? I… well, yes, of course. If you don't mid the question, may I ask why? By all accounts, she has very little information to offer." As she watched him brush an imaginary speck of dirt from his pant leg and avoid her gaze, it dawned on her. "Nikki Wade knew." She dropped back into her chair and pressed her temples between her thumb and middle finger. "Nikki Wade knew," she repeated. "Christ."

"My partner felt she needed to trust someone. She chose Nikki Wade."

Betts laughed. "Nikki Wade seems to have that affect on people. But you do know what she's in for?"

"Yeah," Elliot answered, "and so does Olivia. And that trust tells me more about Wade than whatever file you might have on her."

Betts paused at the thought. "Point taken," she said, then lifted the receiver of her phone. "Can you have Nikki Wade brought up to my office as soon as you can?" She looked over at the jet-lagged cop. "And have someone bring in a strong pot of coffee."

 

*-*-*-*

 

Dominic approached the table of women. "When you're finished breakfast, Nikki, Miss Betts would like to see you."

Nikki stood up immediately. Knowing full well this meant Stabler had arrived, she asked, "Can I go now?"

Startled, the guard replied, "Why don't you finish your breakfast first?"

"I'd really like to go now, sir."

Yvonne looked up from her plate. "I'll clear up for her, Mr. McAllister. It's probably word on Liv. Nikki'll only jitter and annoy the shit out of the rest of us until she can go."

McAllister smiled. "All right, then. But I don't want to hear you complaining about being hungry later on, yeah?" Nikki smiled in return. "Let's go."

As he walked ahead, Atkins grabbed Nikki's arm. Lowering her voice, she said, "This is it, Nik. Whatever you've got planned to get that cell of Dockley's knocked over, you'd better do it before she finds our little gift, right?"

"No worries, Yvonne," Nikki assured. "You've done your part. Now watch me do mine."

 

*-*-*-*

 

There as a light tap on the door before Dominic opened it a sliver. "Nikki Wade, Miss."

"Let her in. Thanks, Dom."

The young guard nodded and swung the door open, allowing Nikki into the room. The first thing that caught Nikki's attention was the man in the chair who stood up to greet her. She didn't know if he matched any image she had of him because she never quite created one of the faceless voice on the phone. But without a doubt, this had to be Elliot Stabler. There was just something in his manner that screamed, 'Cop!'

She smiled at the thought and out loud mused, "You must have gotten all the brains."

Elliot's eyes narrowed as he deciphered the comment. Realizing the meaning, he laughed. "Jesus, you've got a set, don't you?"

"Well, in my defense, I am a lesbian," Nikki quipped. "Though I know a few girls on the wing who would be all over that brooding intensity thing you've got going on there."

Betts simply covered her face.

Elliot held out his hand. "Elliot Stabler."

Firmly shaking his hand, she replied, "Nikki Wade."

Karen stood up and asked, "Is it safe to leave you two alone?"

Before Betts got to the door, Nikki stopped her with a query. "How's Olivia?"

"Good," the governor answered. "I think the doctor will release her by tomorrow morning."

Nikki nodded. "That's good. Any leads on who might have done this?"

Betts' hand froze on the door handle. The last thing she wanted right now was to ignite the hot-headed temper of the lifer. "We've got people looking into it, Nikki."

Wade turned to Stabler and translated, "Which is the polite way of saying, we don't know our arses from holes in the ground."

"Nikki…" Karen gently warned. "We have no witnesses. We can't do much without that, can we?"

Stabler stepped back and watched as the two women stood their ground.

"Have you talked to Shell Dockley?"

Karen frowned. "Shell Dockley? No, why?"

Nikki snorted at how much went on without the higher ups knowing. "Fenner took the boots to Olivia last week." Both Betts and Stabler drew a gasp of surprise. "And everyone on the wing," she stressed the last word, an obvious distinction between what the cons knew and what the ones in charge didn't, "knows Fenner and Shell are hand in glove, to use the nicest phrase possible."

It took Karen several seconds to find her voice. "But why would Jim Fenner want to harm Olivia? And more importantly, why in the world didn't you tell me Olivia got beat up?"

"What's the use? It's not like you've ever believed a word against the sainted Jim Fenner, is it?" Nikki glanced at Stabler then back to Betts. "And if you knew why Olivia was here, it wouldn't take a mathematician to put one and one together."

"Detective Stabler has filled me in."

"Well then you'd know why Shell would put it to Liv. It's about the drugs, innit?"

The corners of Karen's mouth turned down. "I don't know, Nikki."

Wade threw her hands up in the air. "Typical. You want us to help you clean up the prison, but you don't believe us when we try and tell you what's going on right under your nose. If I were you, I'd be giving Dockley's cell a tip, but then, who am I, eh? Just another con. Whatever."

Nikki crossed her arms in disgust and watched as Betts hesitated at the door. The seed had been planted and Wade knew Dockley's days were numbered.

"You two take as much time as you need," Karen said. "If you want to go see Olivia and I'm not back, there will be a guard nearby to assist you."

When the door clicked shut behind Karen, Stabler remarked, "That was smooth."

"Sorry?"

Elliot shook his head in admiration. "Shell Dockley did it; you've found some way to make sure they'll find the evidence in her cell."

Her wide-eyed innocence was betrayed by the tongue planted firmly in her cheek. "I've no idea what you mean." They both sat down and wondered what to say before the awkwardness kicked in. "Listen, I've got a favour to ask," Nikki said as she slyly leaned forward. Stabler mirrored her pose and raised his eyebrows. "Do you think I could have some of that coffee? I bet it's the good stuff and not that shit they serve on the wing."

Stabler pulled his head back and smiled. Reaching for the nearby carafe, he poured a stream of dark hot liquid into the governor's unused mug. "Don't tell Betts."

 

*-*-*-*

 

Halfway down the hall, Karen bumped into Dominic who was coming around the corner.

"Sorry!"

"It's okay, Dom," she replied, and when he made a motion to keep walking, she put her hand on his arm. "In fact, you're just the person I need to see."

McAllister's face was an open expression of curiosity. "Oh?"

"Yes," she said. "It's about Shell Dockley."

 

*-*-*-*

 

"When do you get in?" Nikki asked after she savoured a sip of the delicious coffee.

"About two hours ago," he answered and rubbed his hands over his face vigourously, as if the question reminded him of how tired he was. "I've still got my bag in the car."

She showed a small grin. "Manage to hit anyone on the road?"

He scratched the back of his head as he replayed the few close calls he had when he forgot which side to drive on. "No. Close, though."

Crossing her legs and nestling the hot mug on her lap, she could have easily been mistaken for a prison official and not the offender she was. Even in the chair, she looked tall, her lean body only adding to the illusion. She was dressed in what Elliot would call 'casual', though considering they were in prison, he figured there wasn't any other style. Worn jeans clung to long legs and he recognized the same t-shirt and sweater combination his partner wore. Hands that had gripped his so firmly now loosely cradled the cup, and as his gaze moved up, he was met with a wry smile and sparkling brown eyes.

"Is that a cop thing?" she queried. "I got that same catalogued look from Olivia the first day we met."

Stabler grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. Habit." He looked down at his hands then back up again. "Listen, I just wanted to say thanks for everything you've done. I appreciate it."

"I'm not sure what you mean," she frowned. "I haven't done anything."

"You watched my partner's back." He held up a hand, stopping the retort he already knew was coming. "She didn't expect you to be there twenty-four hours a day, so you shouldn't either. You probably saved her life. I owe you."

Coughing, Nikki had to cover her mouth to prevent the coffee from escaping. "You owe me? A cop owes me. That's a new one." She blew out her disbelief in a short hard breath. "There's a certain irony about having a cop killer save a cop, isn't there?"

"You're a human being who saved another human being," he corrected.

"Yeah, well…" Despite his efforts, she seemed determined to deflect the compliment by changing the subject. "Can you tell me what happened Thursday? With the case?"

"How much did she tell you?"

"Everything, I think. I know that Weston bastard is using kids to smuggle in his smack."

Elliot nodded. "We got the passenger lists of every flight coming into New York within a certain window of time," he explained. "We got lucky; the supplier was only traveling with the kid. A young boy. Eight years old."

"Shit."

"We got them at the airport. Like I said, we got lucky."

"How's the boy?"

"We got him to the hospital. We took a quick statement before they rolled him into surgery. Enough to nail the supplier and Weston."

"Will he be all right?" Nikki asked. "The boy, I mean."

"Health-wise, there shouldn't be any problems," Stabler answered. "The rest of it –bringing him back, finding his family, doing what's best for him –that's another story. We've already contacted the proper child services agencies here; hopefully they'll do right by him."

"And Weston?"

"The I.D won't be enough, but it's a pebble in the pond. The supplier is up to his neck in shit as it is; we should be able to lean on him. And we'll have Olivia's testimony. Beyond the legal nightmare over which country gets to do which case, I think we've got this one."

Nikki smiled, pleased that it all seemed to work out. "You'll let me know how it goes, won't you?"

"I'm sure we can figure out a way to keep in contact."

Setting her jaw in a weak attempt to look serious, Nikki searched Elliot's face for a sign of mischief in his expression. He held her stare and she thought he'd make a formidable poker player. It wasn't until he blithely said, "Speaking of which, do you want to go see her?" that she laughed.

"Cheeky bastard!"

*-*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

Taking the position that avoiding the majority of the wing was in her best interest until the entire Benson situation died down, Dockley found solace in her small cell. She was flipping through a beauty magazine when Dominic McAllister knocked on the door before entering.

"'Allo, Mr. McAllister. What can I –"

He had no time for her fake pleasantries. "Save it, Shell. Up and out," the guard directed.

"Eh?"

"Up and out," he repeated as he put his gloves on. The guard her brought in with him did the same. "Cell search."

She slowly stood, bewildered. "But I ain't got nothing."

Dominic picked up a small container of nail polish. "Well, this isn't allowed, is it?" Before the blonde had time to protest, he shook his head. "I don't want to hear it, Shell. I was told to tip your cell. That's what I'm doing."

Dockley complied and stood outside her cell. Watching the two guards meticulously peer through every drawer and into every nook and cranny, she wondered what they were looking for. The screws had to know she wasn't stupid enough to keep drugs in her cell, not after the incident with her bird. Then the light bulb went on over her head. They were looking for a weapon. Someone had planted a bug in Betts' ear and now they were looking to find something on her. 'Probably that bitch, Wade,' Dockley disdainfully thought. Well, they weren't going to find anything –she wouldn't be stupid enough to leave the weapon in her cell. She crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame. With a smirk, she said, "Whatever it is you're looking for, you ain't going to find it here."

Ignoring her, Dominic ran his fingers along the seam of the mattress until he found a small tear. Gently pushing two fingers in, he ferreted around until he felt the hard object. He pulled his fingers out and held a plastic stem, its original white now tinted a faint pink and turning to dark red where blood had dried in the grooves of the handle.

"So what is this, Shell," McAllister asked, "a spoon? A knife? Before you filed it down and turned it into a weapon, I mean."

The supreme confidence that had held her head up only minutes ago dissipated in the blink of an eye. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish caught on dry land. She was finally able to stammer, "That's not mine!"

"No, of course it isn't," he replied, all but rolling his eyes at her.

"It ain't!" she implored. "Do you think I would be stupid enough to keep it in my cell?"

"You really don't want me to answer that, Shell." He placed the evidence into a small plastic bag and handed it to the other guard. "Take that to Miss Betts and tell her I'll be up straight away." Turning back to Dockley, he said, "A DNA test will tell the truth. In the meantime, it's the Block for you."

 

*-*-*-*

 

Just as Karen had said, there had been a female guard hovering in the vicinity to take Stabler and Nikki down to the infirmary. When the door was opened, they were pleased to see Olivia propped up in a sitting position. Her eyes were closed, but she was alert enough to catch the sound of the door opening. Lifting the heavy lids, her gaze froze when she saw the two at the door.

With a sleepy chuckle, Benson said, "Man, I am on some good shit."

The pair approached the bed and Stabler touched Olivia's arm. "Hey, partner."

Running a hand through her hair and wincing slightly at the reminder of why she was in the bed in the first place, she asked, "What day is it?"

"Saturday," Stabler answered.

"I missed a day," Benson said. "That explains why I'm confused as all hell. Now maybe you can explain to me why she's gone all quiet." The cop tilted her chin at Nikki, who had stayed back to let the partners reunite.

Stepping forward, Wade replied, "I thought maybe you'd have some secret partner bonding ritual that I shouldn't see. Besides, I got tired of hearing myself talk while you were lying about."

"Is that what that noise was?"

"Very funny. How are you feeling?"

She pushed herself up a bit more and said, "Not bad. Sore. Tired. But I think that's from the drugs. And my head's a bit heavy. I probably feel the way my partner looks."

"Hey!" Elliot objected. "It's 6AM in New York right now. I haven't slept since Thursday."

Reaching out for his hand, she said, "I'm glad you're here, El. Thanks." It was obvious she was still trying to piece everything together. "I remember… Nikki telling me you were coming."

"I'm surprised you remember; you were fairly out of it," Nikki remarked.

Benson looked at Stabler. "How did you know?"

He thumbed in Nikki's direction. "This one here tracked down my number and called me."

Smiling appreciatively at Wade, Olivia whispered, "Well done."

"That's me," Nikki said, "Nikki Wade, private investigator." The three of them laughed. "Unfortunately," she went on, "it was all a bit anti-climatic. I completely failed to take into account that you would have had Detective Stabler listed as an emergency contact. Jumped the gun a bit there," she said to Elliot. "Sorry."

He dismissed her apology. "I'm glad you did."

Benson smiled at the pair. Then, as if it just occurred to her, she asked, "What happened with the case?"

"Long story short, we got 'em at La Guardia," Elliot told her. "They rushed the kid into emergency surgery, but we got enough information on Weston to arrest him. DCI Williams knocked on his door around midnight on Friday."

Closing her eyes in relief, Olivia said, "Thank God. And good work, El."

"Me? I wasn't the one who went undercover in a women's prison. Though now that I've said it out loud, it doesn't sound so bad." The two women chuckled. "And I wasn't the one to get beat up or stabbed." Benson looked over at Nikki, and Stabler saw the look. "Yeah, she told me. You should have told me."

"What could you have done, Elliot?" she asked. "Besides, I had someone watching my back after that."

Nikki groaned. "Let's not start this again, shall we?"

"I take it I have Shell Dockley to blame for this," Benson surmised.

"Yeah," Nikki answered.

"Any evidence?"

"Ever the cop!"

Elliot bent forward and loudly whispered towards Olivia, "That's her way of saying, there's no direct evidence." He stressed the word 'direct'.

Narrowing her eyes, Olivia waited for her cloudy head to clear. "You mean… you're planting evidence?"

"Is this something that perhaps you shouldn't know about?" Nikki queried. "You know, what with you being officers of the law and all."

Stabler groaned and Benson could only shake her head. "I don't know whether I should thank you or throttle you."

"Well, if you're going to thank me, I'll take all the credit. But if you're going to throttle me, I'd like to mention that it was all Yvonne Atkins' idea."

Both cops simultaneously covered their ears and Nikki laughed.

 

*-*-*-*

 

The meeting between McAllister and Betts was a short one. With the other guard corroborating Dominic's find, it all added up to one thing.

"Shell stabbed Olivia Benson," McAllister said.

"Let's try and keep this to ourselves until the results come back, shall we?" Karen requested, though she knew full well the minute the door closed behind Shell Dockley, the word got out.

"What's the diagnosis on Olivia?"

"Full recovery," Betts replied. "She's bounced back remarkably well, considering. The doctor went so far as to say she could be released by tomorrow."

McAllister frowned. "Released? Is she getting moved to another prison?"

Betts realized her slip up and sighed. "There are some things you'll find out, Dominic, just not right now, okay?"

 

*-*-*_*

 

"So when do I get out of here?" Olivia groaned.

"Can't wait to leave the place, I take it," Nikki playfully remarked, though Benson caught the underlying meaning.

"I can't wait to get out of this bed is more like it."

"Doc says by tomorrow morning at the latest," Stabler said. "Today, if you're feeling up to it."

"Will they let me fly?"

He shook his head. "Probably not for a couple of days, but I figured staying in a hotel, even on the SVU budget would be better than staying here. And once word gets out about Weston…"

"It might not be safe for me to stay here," his partner finished.

"Exactly."

Nikki looked at the two cops. "What? You think they'd try and get you in here?"

"Hard to say," Stabler admitted. "But once word gets out it was a set-up, odds are it'll get worked back to Liv."

"Is your job always like this?" she asked, half joking, half serious.

Benson smiled. "No. It's usually more busting down doors and kicking ass."

"And I get the coffee," Stabler joined in.

"So she's the brawn as well as the beauty," Wade slyly noted.

The joke went by Olivia, but Stabler caught the meaning. "Yeah, all I got was the brains."

When the laughter died away, Nikki said, "Listen, I'm going to leave you two to it."

Olivia frowned and asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," the con answered. "I imagine you've got secret police business to catch up on that would bore me to tears. And I've got some business of my own I need to follow up."

"Never mind 'Nikki Wade, private investigator'. More like 'Nikki Wade, kingpin'," Olivia laughed.

"Don Corleone has nothing to worry about, trust me," Wade assured. "Anyway, the girls will want to know how you're doing. I bet the poor Julies haven't slept a wink."

"Tell them I'm fine."

"I will."

"You will be back later, right?"

"Of course." Turning to Stabler, Nikki asked, "Can I ask what your plans are?"

He shrugged. "I'll probably stick around for another hour or so –catch up on secret police business. Then I've got to go see Williams and give him a report on what happened in New York. And then I need to get a couple hours sleep."

"Will you be taking Olivia out of here tonight, then?"

He glanced at his partner and nodded. "Yeah, I think so. I'll leave her in here long enough to enjoy one last dinner, then I'll pick her up."

The thought of food, let alone something from the Larkhall kitchen made Benson's stomach turn. Grimacing, she said, "Gee, thanks, El."

"Don't worry, when we get back to the States, I'll treat you to a nice juicy New York hotdog."

She touched her stomach. "That's not helping."

Nikki smiled at the camaraderie between the partners. "One day it would be nice to just sit down like three normal people, away from all this." The reality of the situation, particularly Nikki's, settled in the room. "Anyway, can you have a guard come and get me when you go?" she asked Elliot.

"Sure."

"Brilliant. Well, I'll see you later, then."

The door closed behind her and before Olivia had time to speak, Elliot coughed and asked, "So… you and Wade. Did you two… you know."

Olivia's mouth dropped and she exclaimed, "I can't believe you'd ask! No, wait, I can."

Stabler shrugged as if he couldn't help himself. "So, did you?"

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Nikki!" the two Julies greeted in unison. "We was wondering what happened to you this morning."

"Hello, ladies," Wade greeted in return as she stood at the food counter. "What's for lunch?"

"Lunch?" Julie J asked. "Sod lunch. What happened to you? How's Olivia?"

"And did you hear about Shell?" Julie S finished.

Nikki took a moment to enjoy their enthusiasm. They could always be counted on for a smile. "I went to see Olivia. She's doing well. Shell Dockley's down the Block?"

They nodded. "Got it in one, you did. Word is, she had a cell tip this morning. Found a weapon in her cell."

Nikki expression mirrored the fake surprise of the other two women. "Did they? What a fascinating development. Thanks for the information, girls."

When she picked up her tray to leave, the taller Julie asked, "She really is okay? Olivia, I mean."

"She's really okay," Nikki replied. "The doctor's amazed at her recovery and when I saw her this morning, she was sitting up and talking."

Julie S put a hand over her heart. "Aw, that's wonderful, Nikki. She's a good one, that one. It'd be a shame if something had happened to her."

"A right shame," her cellmate chimed in.

"When I see her later on, I'll be sure to tell her you were asking about her," Nikki promised.

"Cheers, Nikki. And you tell her if she needs anything –"

"Anything at all, all she's got to do –"

"Is ask."

Nikki thanked the women and walked to a familiar table, where Yvonne and Barbara sat.

"Where've you been all morning?" Yvonne asked immediately.

"Hello, Yvonne. Good to see you, Barbara."

"Yeah, all right, whatever," Atkins growled.

Smiling, Nikki commented, "Looks like I missed all the excitement while I was visiting Olivia."

"Oh, how is she, Nikki?" Barbara inquired.

"She's good, Barbara. Should be out of the infirmary soon."

The quiet woman's eyebrows shot up. "Really? That's good news."

"Apparently, a healthy body leads to a faster recovery," Nikki remarked.

"She's definitely got one of those, I'll give her that," Yvonne admitted. When she saw her table mates turn to stare at her, she shrugged a shoulder. "What? I'm just saying that woman's got a healthy body. Don't get any ideas beyond that –especially you," she pointed at Nikki.

The lifer pressed her lips together and tried not to smirk. "I wouldn't think of it, Yvonne."

"Right," the woman said. "So, you've heard about Shell, then?"

"The Julies told me," Wade replied. "So they did the tip after all."

"I take it you had something to do with it," Atkins ventured.

"I might have had a word or two with Betts, yeah."

"Well, I for one am glad that horrible woman is finally getting what's coming to her," Barbara said, with a surprising amount of venom in her voice. Now it was her turn to be on the receiving end of a pair of looks. "I'm sorry, but she's gotten away with too much for too long. It's time she faced at least some of the consequences, and if that means it had to be achieved through underhanded ways, then so be it."

"Remind me never to cross Barbara," Atkins told Nikki.

"It's always the quiet ones you've got to watch out for, Yvonne." Wade saw Karen enter the area and whispered, "Nice and normal, ladies; Betts is coming this way."

The women's attention dropped to their plates, and when Karen approached, it was an unusually quiet table. In fact, there was something that seemed just off about it, but Betts couldn't quite put a finger on it.

"Nikki," the governor greeted, "I was wondering if I could ask a favour." The con looked up. "Olivia's awake, as you know. I thought we'd get her things together for her."

Atkins ears perked up. "Why? What's happening?"

Karen reminded herself to tread carefully and could only hope Nikki went along with her. "We're transferring Olivia out today."

"What?" Yvonne exclaimed.

"Well, considering what happened, I would say it's obvious," Betts said.

Atkins snorted and declared, "What's bleedin' obvious is that Shell Dockley needs to be booted out of Larkhall before she kills someone. What are you doing about that? Why move Liv, who never hurt anyone, who gets along with everyone, when we all know it's Dockley who's the fly in the ointment."

"I have to say, Yvonne's got a good point," Barbara agreed.

"Look, Olivia is a step away from an appeal that seems assured," Betts began, making up the lie as she went on. "We're moving her to a minimum security facility. She would have been released from Larkhall in a matter of weeks as it was."

"So it's easier paperwork for you lot to transfer Liv than Dockley, is what you're saying," Atkins retorted. She turned to Nikki and noted, "And you don't seem particularly surprised by this bit of information."

"I heard the doctor discussing it with Liv," Wade spun, "but I didn't know for certain. I didn't want to say anything until we knew."

Barbara stepped in and asked, "And what exactly happens to Shell? We heard you found a weapon in her cell."

When Atkins saw the look on Karen's face, the mob wife laughed. "Everyone finds out about everything in here, love,"

"Yes, well. We're waiting for the test results to come back on the blood, but we're fairly certain it's Olivia's."

Nikki leaned back and pasted a fake smile on her face. "That's a brilliant deduction, congratulations. Come up with that one all by yourself, did you?"

"Nikki…," Betts warned. "I didn't tell you to argue with you. I told you because I thought you had the right to know."

"Still haven't told us what you plan on doing with Dockley though, have you?" Yvonne interjected.

Karen took a deep breath and sighed. "Yvonne, when I know, you'll know, all right?"

Under her breath, Atkins murmured, "We'll probably know before you."

Ignoring the jab, Karen continued, "In the meantime, Nikki, when you're finished, find Dominic and he'll help you sort out Olivia's things."

Knowing the woman was doing the best she could given the circumstances, Nikki thought she'd give Betts a break. With a gentle tone, she said simply, "Thanks."

 

*-*-*-*

 

She tried to put it off as long as she could, but knowing Elliot would be sending a guard to get her soon, she found Dominic and now stood in the doorway of her cell with an empty plastic bag in hand. The guard had been considerate enough to leave her alone, though as she faced the emptiness of the room she wondered if it would have been better to have him stay. But that option had come and gone and she wouldn't lean out the door to call him back now.

There wasn't much of Olivia's things to collect, though Nikki took extra time, as she pulled out the clothing from the small cupboard and placed them on the table. A walk to the sink gathered the cop's toiletries together and joined the clothing. Nikki looked down at the collection and marvelled at how such a small pile of items could represent so much. And how two weeks could end up feeling like a lifetime. She stood at the table and folded the shirts and sweaters, despite the action not being necessary. It was an adolescent gesture, and a hopeless one at that, she knew, but she couldn't quite bring herself to let go; handling the material was simply a way of prolonging the feeling. She looked up at the small window, the narrow space trying in vain to bring sunlight into the dim room, only serving to remind her of the reality of the place. It was all she had –this narrow space inside her that offered something beyond the undertow of prison life. It was all anyone had in here. Don't let it drag you down. Always look at a positive, however small it might be. Keep your eyes ahead, because looking back will only remind you of what has been. These were mantras she held firm in order to get through another day, another hour, another minute.

The sweater felt soft in her fingers and her mind stumbled over the well-worn phrases. Dropping into the chair, she let the tears fall.

*-*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*-*

By the time Dominic softly knocked on the cell door, Nikki had carefully tucked away her emotions and the wall was up once again.

"Have you got everything?" he gently asked.

"Yeah, sure," she answered, and looked around. "Not like we've got space for much more than this, is there?" She held up the plastic bag and raised an eyebrow.

"No, I suppose not," the guard smiled. Standing back, he gestured out of the cell. "Come on, I'll take you down."

At the infirmary door, Dominic knocked and announced himself before taking a quick look inside. "You up for a visitor, Olivia?" he asked, and knowing he didn't need to wait for her answer, opened the door wide and ushered Nikki inside. "Miss Betts said you could stay here as long as you like," he told Wade. "Just let one of the guards outside know when you want to leave and I'll come back, yeah?"

Nikki nodded. "Thanks, Dominic."

McAllister turned to the cop who was sitting on the edge of the bed. "I've got to admit, I've got the feeling there's a lot more going on with you being here than what we've been told. I don't know what that's all about, but I thought I would just say I hope it all works out for you, Olivia."

"You're a good guy, Mr. McAllister," Benson said. "Thanks."

He backed away with a shy smile on his face and closed the door as he left.

"I knew he fancied the pants off you," Nikki commented. She looked at Olivia who was chuckling, but with obvious difficulty. "You all right?"

Benson grimaced. "The doctor took me off the strong stuff; now I'm on aspirin or Tylenol or whatever you people have over here. It doesn't dull the pain as well, so I'm feeling it a bit more than I did this morning."

"Should I get the doctor to give you something better?"

"No," Benson replied, "I'm fine. I was just spoiled with the hard stuff. Come, sit beside me."

Dutifully doing what she was told, Nikki took up the empty space beside Olivia. The bed sagged at the additional weight and they leaned into each other.

Olivia pointed to the bag on Nikki's lap. "Is that all my stuff?" When Wade nodded, the American marvelled, "Why did I think there would be so much more?" They sat in silence for several minutes as each contemplated the moment and the road ahead. Olivia was the first to break the stillness as she cautiously slid off the bed and stood on the cold floor. "Jesus!" she exclaimed when her bare feet touched the concrete. "Boy, you're the compassionate one," she said sarcastically when she saw Nikki laugh at her little dance. "You can help me get dressed."

Placing the bag in the spot vacated by Olivia, Nikki opened her legs and pulled the cop in by her hospital gown. Benson saw Wade's eyes darken and she told the con, "We don't have time for this."

"For what?" Nikki asked innocently as her hands snaked around Benson's waist and tugged at the tie. Successfully pulling the knot free, she moved up to Olivia's neck and performed the same task. "Do you have these embarrassing gowns in America?"

"You mean the ones that show off your ass to everyone as you walk down the hall? Oh, yeah."

Playfully, Nikki noted, "I suppose it's a good thing you've got such a great ass, then. Very nice." She slipped the material from Benson's shoulders and watched as it fell to their feet, then slowly, her eyes stopping at several intervals along Olivia's body, she brought her gaze back up to Benson's.

"This is so not fair," Benson complained.

"What?" Nikki feigned ignorance, then laughed. "Darling, I'd gladly strip down with you, but I don't know what I'd say if someone walked in. Besides, didn't you just say we didn't have time?"

"Chicken," Olivia smirked. "Fine, where's my underwear?"

"Why is it you're always asking me, I wonder?" Nikki asked as she rifled through the bag. "Here," she said, holding out the requested item. "And they're pants."

"Sorry?"

"Pants. Not underwear. I've meant to correct you every other time you've asked."

Olivia frowned. "Then what do you call pants?"

"The things that go over top, you mean? Those are trousers."

"You'll have to help me with those, too."

"Yes, princess." Avoiding a playful slap, Nikki bent down and helped Olivia into her underwear. "I'm trying desperately not to picture Elliot doing this, you know."

"So am I."

Nikki chuckled and reached back for the pair of jeans she left out. "Come on, step. Okay, now the other one," she directed as she slipped the denim over Olivia's feet and up her legs. Standing, she pulled at the waistband and tugged them up to Olivia's hips. "You can fasten them yourself. You're not helpless." Turning away from the cop's look of surprise, she picked up a small white item of satin. She let the bra dangle from her fingertips and drawled, "Very sexy."

Olivia looked up from her hands and shook her head. "You're incorrigible."

"Guilty as charged," she admitted, "among other things. Arms through, come on." When Olivia completed the request, Nikki let the thin straps rest on Benson's shoulders and once again, reached around the woman.

"Let's see if you're as good doing them up as you are unhooking them," Olivia challenged with a gleam in her eye.

"Well, I will admit there's more fun in the undoing than the doing," Nikki volleyed back.

As Nikki's body leaned into hers, Olivia was reminded of their first night together, and suddenly, her body was aware of every place Nikki's met with her own. Warm breath caressed Olivia's cheek and she could almost feel Nikki's warm lips graze her soft skin. Groaning, Benson decided to override her previous refusal and said, "Wanna shag?"

Rather than pull back in surprise, Nikki tickled Olivia's ear with a deep chuckle. "I suppose if you go back to America knowing only one good British slang, that's the one. And I'm on to you, Miss Benson; you're just trying to distract me," she whispered. "However…" Stepping back, she revealed her success.

"Great. I'm frustrated as all hell, but good job."

Nikki reached into the bag one more and pulled out a long white shirt. "I went looking for something you could put on and take off fairly easy, given your injuries and was surprised to find nothing but tight tee shirts and sweaters. Not that I'm complaining, mind you," she quickly clarified with a smile. "But they're not going to do you many favours when you've got to do this yourself, are they? So I brought you one of mine." She held out the shirt by the sleeves and revealed the buttons on the front. "It's probably a bit long for you, but I thought we'd go more for substance than style, just this once."

Not knowing quite what to say, she simply said, "Thank you." Following Nikki's wordless direction, she slipped one arm through, then the other. Despite the purpose of the shirt being something Olivia could do herself, Nikki buttoned it up for her. "Now I owe you a sweater and a shirt," Benson noted. When Nikki's eyes looked up from her task, Olivia could see there was something behind them. "What's wrong?"

"I want to tell you something," she began. "I don't want to make a big deal of it, but I don't want to let it pass, either." She sat back on the bed and gently pulled Olivia down beside her. "Just let me say this and then you can laugh or whatever, right?" Olivia took Nikki's hand in hers and silently encouraged her to go on. With a deep breath, Nikki plunged in. "This place is shit, you know? I mean, of course it's shit, it's a prison. And I've never tried to pretend I didn't deserve to be here." She saw Olivia open her mouth to protest, and Nikki shook her head. "No, please, let me say this. I killed someone, Liv, and I'm willing to be accountable for that, no matter what the circumstances." She looked away for a moment before continuing. "Do you know what the real punishment of being banged up is? It's not being separated from friends or family or loved ones. It's being convinced that those things aren't there any more. You can get so caught up in the daily bullshit of this place, the constant nothingness from one day to the next, that before you know it, years have gone by and so has your life. I know you're going to go back to the States, back to your job, back to your life and you'll forget about all this, and I won't blame you, quite frankly. But I wanted you to know that… that I won't forget." Looking down at their joined hands, she gathered a shaky breath. "I didn't realize it at the time, and you probably didn't know it at all, but you came along at just the right time. What with me and… well, you know about Helen. And my appeal looking like a pipedream, I had almost forgotten that there's life beyond these walls. Somehow, in less than two weeks, you've reminded me that there's more than this shit; that there's something more. I need… needed to remember that, before this place dragged me down. So I owe you," she finished with a small smile.

Olivia reached up and smoothed a hand over Nikki's hair. "Sweetheart, all things being equal, I think we're more than even."

"Yeah, well, I just thought you should know."

She looked down at their joined hands and smiled. "You know, I wasn't really sure what to expect when I got here. Being a cop, you'd think my first instinct would be to think all perps are horrible people, but years on the job have taught me that's not always the case. Sometimes it's just being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or maybe it's circumstances that got out of control. I like to pretend it's always black and white, but I know in my heart, it isn't. So I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to find I came to care about people in here." She raised her eyes to Nikki. "And that I'd be friends with a lot of them on the outside."

"I'll be sure to tell Denny you said that; she'll be over the moon."

"You do that," Olivia agreed, bumping good-naturedly against Nikki.

When she rested her head on the lifer's shoulder, Nikki asked, "Are you tired?"

"Yeah, a little," Benson admitted.

"Where's your partner? Is he really going to make you stay for tea?"

Olivia sat up and cautiously stretched. "He's probably in some hotel room, sleeping the sleep of the just, if I know him at all. He deserves it though." Glancing around the room for a clock, she asked, "What time is it?"

Nikki reached into the plastic bag and pulled out a heavy silver watch. "Ten past three," she answered before handing it to Olivia.

"And what time's dinner?"

"Usually round five."

Wagging her eyebrows suggestively, Olivia whispered, "What will we do for two hours?"

"And you call me incorrigible," Nikki laughed. "Bruised ribs and a stab wound and you still want to shag."

"You're irresistibly shaggable."

"Oh, flatterer!" Nikki thanked with batted eyelashes. "And more often than not, that would work; however, you need to get some sleep, love."

Frowning, Benson complained, "I'm not sleeping away the last few hours we have."

"Yes, you are," Wade countered. She stood up and lifted Olivia's legs onto the bed.

"Hey!"

"It's like this," Nikki reasoned. "If you don't get some sleep, when the doctor comes in to see how you are before you go, he'll change his mind and you'll be stuck here for Larkhall breakfast, too." Olivia didn't look convinced. "Come on. Do it for me?"

Shaking her head in disbelief, the cop asked, "Does that really work?"

Nikki sheepishly looked away. "Worked on me, I'll tell you." Gently climbing over Benson's legs, Nikki slid in the small space behind her. "Made for skinny bastard elves!"

Olivia tilted her head back and laughed. "Gee, had you told me you were getting into bed with me, it would have saved us a lot of time."

"Roll over," Nikki commanded and spooned up behind Olivia. "Incorrigible," she whispered into the American's hair.

 

*-*-*-*

 

She hadn't fallen into a deep enough sleep to not hear the light rapping on the door, but Nikki wasn't fast enough to sit up before Dominic opened the door and looked inside. He took a moment to enjoy the tough Nikki Wade reduced to a sleepy-eyed child, complete with two large pieces of hair standing on end. It was when he saw her mouth turn down that he realized she had caught his train of thought. Coughing unnecessarily, he said, "The doctor said he'd be here in a few minutes. I thought I'd make sure…"

"What? That we were decent?"

"Dressed, yeah." He caught the accidental double-meaning and quickly corrected, "I mean, Olivia dressed. In regular clothes. If she gets the clear, the doctor's going to release her tonight."

Nikki watched as the guard tried in vain to not dig himself further. "Yeah, she told me," Wade acknowledged and turned off her stern stare.

He blushed slightly in relief. "They're serving food in a quarter of an hour. I can bring some down for you if you like. I mean, I've got to do it for Olivia anyway, so it's no trouble bringing yours as well."

"That'd be nice, Dominic, thanks," she said sincerely.

"Right. Well, I'll leave you to it. I'll be back shortly." Just as quietly as he entered, he left.

"I still suspect he fancies the pants off you," came the muffled voice beside Nikki.

Leaning over Olivia's shoulder, she asked, "Are you awake, sleeping beauty?"

There was a deliberate pause. "If I say no, will it get me a kiss?"

Nikki gently turned Benson over onto her back. "You'll get a kiss either way," she promised and bent her head to fulfill her promise.

There was another knock on the door and the doctor entered.

"Jesus," Nikki complained, "can't a girl get time for a decent snog around here?"

"If that's anything like a shag, I offered earlier," Olivia reminded.

"Nice to see you find humour in the situation, Miss Benson," the doctor said. "I find the return of a sense of humour usually indicates a better turn in health."

Nikki refrained from asking the good doctor to cite this incredibly scientific bit of information and instead, swung her long legs around the bed and helped Olivia up to a sitting position.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he flashed a small light into her eyes.

"Good. A bit sore. Tired."

"Yes, well, next time try sleeping alone." Olivia reached out and touched Nikki's leg in an attempt to stop the con from blurting out something sarcastic. Holding a stethoscope to Benson's heart, the doctor inquired, "Difficulty breathing?"

"Not in my chest, no," Benson answered. "Down where I was stabbed? Yeah." She didn't dare glance over at Nikki, whom she knew was fighting off a smirk.

He either ignored her or was unaware of the sarcasm. "Yes, let's check that, shall we? Lift up your shirt, please." Doing as she was told, Olivia pulled up the material to her armpit. Peeling the medical tape away from the skin, he gave a cursory look at the wound underneath the gauze. Murmuring something intelligible, but somehow encouraging, he covered the injury again and stepped back. "It's healing remarkably well, Miss Benson. You've got an amazing recovery turnaround. The bandages will need to be replaced at least once a day for seven to ten days. No bathing or soaking for at least four weeks. Showers should be quick and not directed onto the wound. Are you up to leaving today?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely," Benson remarked.

"I'll assume that's a quaint American expression that means 'yes', shall I?" he asked facetiously. "Right. Well, I informed Miss Betts of my prognosis this morning; I'll be sure to confirm my findings with her and sign off on all the requisite paperwork. I suggest you see your family practitioner once you return home."

Under her breath, Nikki muttered, "Just to make sure."

He shifted his small beady eyes in Wade's direction and passed a distasteful judgment in one swoop of the con's body. She tried not to shudder in revulsion.

"Very well," he went on. "I'll notify Miss Betts and off you'll go. Your tea should be down shortly and that will be that." His hand touched the door knob and before leaving, he coiled around to Nikki. "Come see me about a vitamin supplement. You're looking a bit poorly." He turned his back in time to miss the abrupt two-finger hand gesture.

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Don't let the wing catch wind of this, yeah?" McAllister said to Nikki as he entered the room with dinner. "Everyone will expect it if they find out."

"Oh, the Julies would love that, wouldn't they, sir?" Nikki teased.

"More than I care to imagine." Setting the food down on the small bedside table, he nodded towards Olivia. "Hey, I saw the doctor before I came in. Looks like you'll be out of here today. Congratulations."

"Thanks," the cop replied.

"And good luck on your appeal." He saw the brief but telling twitch of her mouth. "Yeah, I thought it was something like that. Whatever the truth is, I hope everything goes all right for you, Olivia. Take care."

She held out her hand and after a slight hesitation, he shook it. "If you're ever in New York and need to get out of jail, give me a call."

He was still trying to piece things together as he walked out of the room.

Nikki shook her head sympathetically. "You've only confused the boy even more."

"I don't expect it to last long. I'm thinking word will get out in a couple of days anyway," Benson noted. "What do you think?"

"Yvonne did say that everyone finds out about everything around here," Nikki remembered. "I think she's fairly right. There will be a rumour of some sort or another."

"What will you tell them?"

"I don't know," the con admitted honestly. "On one hand, a lot of women in here are mothers or in the very least have a maternal instinct in them. The reason you're here would be enough for people to turn their head at the fact that you're a cop. On the other hand," she smiled, "you're a cop. That would be a tricky situation on its own if you were staying. As it is, it will still be a difficult one for me. I could be seen as a narc by association; I'm not sure I need that hanging over me at the moment. I'll figure out how to deal with the questions when I'm asked, I suppose."

"You know, I never took into consideration how much you were risking in knowing."

"Well, it helps that I didn't grass on anyone. The extent of my involvement is hiding your identity. My reputation should come out of this fairly intact. Better, quite frankly, when they find out I pulled a cop."

"Why do I think amid all that slang that you're bragging?"

"Come on," Wade said, deflecting the question. "Let's eat before it goes cold." She peered over the plate. "Or maybe it's better cold, I'm not sure."

They sat sideways on the bed, each with a leg tucked underneath them and one leg dangling off the edge. Plates balanced precariously on knees, and mugs were carefully set on the mattress.

Breaking the short silence, Nikki commented, "So, your last supper. Heavy stuff."

Olivia lifted her fork and eyeballed the portion. "Do you mean the food or the event?"

The women were laughing as the door opened. The movement caught Benson's eye and she smiled. "Look who's up."

Stabler closed the door behind him and said, "I was just about to say the same thing. How are you feeling?"

"Tired," she answered. "Tired of people asking me how I'm feeling."

He held up a hand in surrender. "Point taken." In his other hand, he held a paper bag. "I would have tried to bring in some real food, but figured I'd have to go through a strip search just to make sure I wasn't smuggling in a hacksaw. And I was right, because if I had to go through half the hoops I went through to bring in coffee…" Both Olivia's and Nikki's eyes lit up.

"You're the dog's bollocks you are, Mr. Stabler," Nikki praised.

'I'll tell you what," he bargained, "I'll take that as a compliment if you never call me 'Mr. Stabler' again. My kids' friends call me 'Mr Stabler'." He pulled out the two cups of coffee and handed them to each woman. "I went to Starbucks because I didn't trust myself to find anything else. Probably paid twenty bucks with the exchange rate, but what the hell." As the two women savoured the hot beverage, he looked at their plates. "Maybe I should have tried bringing in food."

For the umpteenth time that day, a knock was heard on the door and a figure half-stepped in to see what was going on.

"Jesus, Nikki," Olivia muttered under her breath. "This room gets more traffic than your cell." Her comment wasn't quiet enough because all eyes in the room turned to Nikki.

"That's fantastic," the con whispered, with no intent of keeping her words a secret. "I'll just die now, thanks very much."

The most interested pair of eyes belonged to the newcomer, though after a quick raise of her eyebrow in Nikki's direction, she turned her attention to Olivia. "I heard you were leaving today," Helen Stewart said. Though Benson assumed that being at the top of the food chain in Larkhall would mean Betts had filled Helen in, the cop wasn't certain what to say. Stewart must have seen the hesitancy because she smiled. "Karen Betts informed me of the situation. I have to say, I was more than a bit surprised to hear you and your co-workers felt it necessary to keep it so well-hidden. However, I suppose it was understandable, given the circumstances." She glanced over at Nikki again.

In the same unsubtle whisper that got Nikki the look in the first place, Olivia slyly told Wade, "You're in trouble."

"Story of my life."

Helen bit back a smirk and instead announced, "Yes, well, I just wanted to see you off, Olivia. Take care."

Holding out her hand to stop the short woman, Benson looked over at Elliot. "Are we ready to go?"

Stabler glanced around and shrugged. "Sure, I guess."

Looking back at Helen, Benson asked, "Can you wait for Nikki? She might as well go up with you rather than having to call a guard to come get her."

Nikki slid in front of Olivia and blocked off Helen's view. Her expression clearly said, "What the hell are you playing at?" and Olivia caught it clearly, because she winked. There was a slight stretch of silence before they both ventured in unison, "So…"

Laughing, Nikki remarked, "If you hadn't slept away our last two hours together, we would have had our goodbyes already planned out." She examined down the floor then tilted her head to look at the American. "So much to say, so little time. And so few words to say it. I'm glad we met, Liv."

"So am I, Nicola." The con scrunched up her face at the name and it gave Benson time to step forward. In a soft voice meant only for Nikki to hear, Olivia said, "They say nothing lasts forever. I don't believe that; the bad stuff comes and goes, for sure. But the good stuff?" She looked over Nikki's shoulder at Helen, then back to Nikki. "The real good stuff? That sticks around forever, even if it has to hang on by its fingernails. Do you know what I'm saying?"

Nikki pressed her lips together and nodded her head slightly. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I do."

"Good. Now come here." When Wade stepped into the circle of Benson's arms, they embraced each other tightly. "Never give up on anything, do you hear me?" Olivia whispered in Nikki's ear. "And know I'm only a phone call away."

Nikki could only nod her understanding and she held on a minute longer. Pulling back, she didn't dare look at Olivia's face, for fear of opening the floodgates. Instead, she turned to Elliot. With a measure of awkwardness, she extended her hand to him, and said, "You seem to be the exception to the rule, Mr… Detective Stabler."

"Make sure you let us know how you're getting on, Nikki," he told her as he shook her hand.

Remembering why they were all there at that moment in the first place, Nikki said, "Make sure you let me know how the case went."

"She will," Stabler smiled and recognizing Nikki's silent plea to get things over with, he jerked his head in the direction of the door. "You ready to go, Liv?"

"Yeah."

"You two go on ahead," Nikki offered, not wanting to stretch the goodbyes out any longer than necessary. "I've got to collect my dishes. Go on."

Understanding Nikki's struggle, Olivia grabbed her bag and walked towards the door, but not before kissing the con on the cheek. "Bye, Nikki."

She was glad she had her back to Helen because she wasn't sure she would have been able to stop herself from bursting into tears had she seen a glimmer of compassion from the Scot. As it was, when she felt Stewart's presence move to her side, she whispered, "Please, don't say anything. I couldn't… I just couldn't bear it right now, all right?"

True to her silent promise, the two women wordlessly made their way back to the wing. As they walked side-by-side, Nikki searched out to draw in as much strength from Helen as she could, and Stewart seemed to sense it, because she deliberately walked closer to Nikki. Their companionable silence did more for the con at that moment than any amount of words. When they got to the cell, they both paused in the doorway.

Looking around at the cold concrete and steel that surrounded them, Nikki asked, "Why is it that the best things always leave me?"

"Nikki…"

"Sorry, that was a rhetorical question, I suppose."

"I'm here if you need me, Nikki."

"Yeah. That's great." She entered the cell and picked up her pack of cigarettes. When she turned, Helen was still in the doorway. They stood facing each other, both silent and wilful. Eons passed between them until at long last, Nikki saw that internal switch go on in Helen's eyes, the one that signalled she had given up in disappointment. Just as she turned to leave, Nikki's subconscious jumped in with a swift kick. "Helen," Wade blurted out, surprising them both. When the Scot turned expectantly, Nikki closed her eyes and counted two full breaths before looking right at Helen, another woman she had shared a brief yet wonderful chapter with. "I… thanks. It… it means a lot. I mean it."

Helen flashed a warm, full smile. "I'll see ya."

 

*-*-*-*

 

She was exhaling the smoke of her cigarette out the window when she exclaimed, "Shit!" Running to the door of her cell, she yelled, "Yvonne! Julies! Denny! Get over here, quickly! Babs, you too!"

The women ran to Nikki's cell, alarm written all over their faces.

"What's wrong?" Yvonne asked worriedly.

"Sorry," Nikki apologized, "I didn't mean to give you lot a heart attack. But you should come to the window. Olivia's leaving."

"Oh!" the Julies exclaimed and all six women tried to find space on the bed to get a good look out the small window.

"Quit pushing," Denny complained. "I'm the shortest one; I should be in front so I can see."

"You'll be seeing her in your dreams for the next year," Atkins retorted good-naturedly. "Pull those two chairs over and we should all be able to get a good look."

"Oi, who's that nice looking bloke with her?" Julie J asked appreciatively.

"That's her partner," Nikki answered.

Yvonne frowned at her. "I thought you told me she was… you know."

Nikki realized her slip and decided if she was in for a penny, she might as well be in for a pound. "She's a cop."

Silence dropped on the cell like a bomb. Then they all started talking at Nikki at once.

"You're having us on!"

"Go ahead, pull the other one!"

"Yeah, right!"

"Are you winding me up?"

Nikki held up her hands. "Later, ladies, I promise. In the meantime, look who's escorting them out."

Yvonne balanced on the chair and looked over Denny's shoulder. She laughed evilly. "Oh, this should be good."

 

*-*-*-*

 

"Well, you've found an ingenious way of getting out of here, I'll give you that," Fenner complimented as he walked Benson and Elliot to the gates.

"Yeah, I'm sure my partner wanted to get stabbed," Stabler muttered. He noticed how Olivia walked between the two men, and he didn't doubt she did it on purpose. After finding out Fenner had put the boots to Olivia, Stabler wasn't inclined to play nice. "Which reminds me," the cop said, as if the idea had just occurred to him. Stopping, he pulled out a small leather case and handed it to Benson. "Your badge."

"Oh, right. Thanks, El."

Fenner froze on the spot and eyed the pair warily. "What's going on here?"

A loud whoop of laughter and cheer bounced off the walls of the small cell.

"What's going on here, then?" Dominic asked, the noise drawing his attention to the room.

Barbara was the only one able to tear her eyes away from the scene below. "I dare say Olivia has Mr. Fenner's balls in her hand."

The only sign that McAllister had heard her was a deliberate blink of his wide eyes. "You're joking," he accused and stood at the window where the two Julies made room for him. Sure enough, it appeared to be just as Barbara had said, and the guard burst out laughing. Then realizing the inappropriateness of his reaction, he coughed and stepped off the bed. "Try… try and keep it down, ladies, all right?"

The women barely noticed him leaving.

Fenner tried to measure his breathing but the pain in his crotch overrode any effort to concentrate.

"Mr. Fenner, I'd like you to meet my partner, Detective Olivia Benson of the New York Police Department," Stabler introduced the pair formally.

"Don't worry, Jim," Benson spit out in a harsh whisper, "you don't have to say anything; I'll do all the talking. Where do I begin, you piece of shit?" She squeezed tighter in punctuation. "By the time I'm through with you, having your balls intact will be the least of your worries. In the meantime, if I catch even a hint that you tried this shit on any other woman in there, I'll hang these up on my rear view mirror, understand? And if that woman's Nikki Wade, I'll make you eat them, you got that? Just nod, Jim." He dutifully did as he was told.

"Not as dumb as he looks," Stabler remarked.

She let go of her grip and watched as Fenner struggled to get the blood moving through his body once again.

"Fen-ner! Fen-ner!" the women chanted from the window, "Is a bloody wanker!"

He couldn't stand up straight enough to see where the women were, but Olivia tilted her head up and scanned the windows until she saw the faces pressed against the squares of the bars. There was something about seeing all those women looking down on her that made her swallow hard.

Stabler noticed the reflex. "You almost look like you're sad to go."

She thought of the women inside and the ones who, in many ways, were no different than her. "Yeah," she admitted, "a little." Fenner's groan caught her attention and she threw down a look of disgust. "Almost."

"You know I should knock your teeth down your throat, right?" Stabler asked the guard.

Olivia touched his arm. With one last look at the prison, she said, "Come on. Let's go."

As they watched the two Americans leave, the chant died away and was replaced by yells of encouragement and goodbyes.

When the gates closed behind the pair, the women slowly and quietly came down from their perches. The excitement was over, and it was business as usual at Larkhall. It was left to Yvonne to not let it go just yet.

"So Nikki. You and Olivia…"

Nikki sighed. "I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, all right?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Atkins brushed aside. "What I mean is, you and her; you shagged her, right?" The tall brunette groaned. "Right. So you pulled a cop?"

The two Julies looked at each other and said, "You know,"

"I never thought of that."

"Nikki, you –"

"Shagged a cop," they exclaimed gleefully in unison.

"Someone save me, please," Nikki pleaded to no one in particular.

"Christ, Nikki," Atkins admired, "next thing you'll tell us is you're shagging Helen Stewart."

There was just enough of a gleam in the mob wife's eyes to make Nikki wonder. Then she remembered what the woman had said earlier about everyone finding out everything. While Nikki was wondering just how much the older woman knew, she corralled the rest of them and said, "Let's go, girls. I want to greet Mr. Fenner when he crawls back onto the wing." As they exited out of the small room, Atkins turned back to Nikki and winked. "We'll talk soon."

Nikki wasn't sure if that was a promise or a threat.

 

*-*-*-*

 

"How was your first night without your girlfriend, Wade," Fenner sneered as he opened the cell door at 8am.

"Not bad, Mr. Fenner," she answered as she lit a cigarette. "How was your first night without your balls?"

The guard's face turned beet red and she could already see the vein in his temple stand out in sharp relief. "I should write you up on report for that."

"Yeah," Nikki agreed. "If you could get Helen Stewart to file it between bouts of laughter, you mean. Besides, if I were you, I'd be more worried about your little girlfriend, Shell Dockley. I heard there was blood on the weapon they found. I heard the blood was Olivia's."

"You hear a lot of things, Wade," he noted suspiciously. When the con shrugged, he narrowed his eyes. "If you had something to do with it…"

"To do with what?" she feigned innocence.

"Shell wouldn't be stupid enough to leave a weapon in her cell. If she did it in the first place."

"I'm quite sure I don't know what you're talking about. Sir." She could almost see the wheels in his head spinning, and she couldn't have been less interested. Glancing out the window, she remarked, "Looks like it's going to be a gorgeous day. I might do some planting." She slyly looked in his direction and clarified, "In the garden, I mean." She stubbed out her cigarette. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm famished."

As predicted, it turned out to be a gorgeous day, and Nikki did get down to the potting shed. No matter what kind of mood she was in, it was here that she felt grounded. With her hands deep in the rich soil, she felt connected to something worth more than the trivialities of life. She saw the flowers she and Olivia had potted only a couple of days ago and thought of just the right spot for them to flourish.

-end.