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For a regular eighteen year old boy in high school, Hyungseob spends way too much time (and money) (and effort) on fanboying.
God, the word itself is cringe-inducing. But Hyungseob reasons with himself, it’s not really excessive. I mean, he only does this over one idol – and he only really begun this year!
Hyungseob never really was one to care too much about idols, besides listening to their music and, since he was in the school’s dance team, occasionally watch their dances and do covers.
But when Wanna One debuted in January that year, Hyungseob had found himself falling into an abyss of this, (cringe) fanboying. Really, he was never all that interested, until one day when his friend Euiwoong had brought his phone over and prodded Hyungseob, shoving it in front of him, “Hyung, check this out!”
“This new group’s choreo is totally awesome, we should do a cover with Justin and the rest!” Hyungseob had looked up then from his worksheet, with an uninterested sigh – until the music video had panned to him.
Red-haired and eyes exploding with charisma, Hyungseob had instantly been taken by the member’s looks, and his sharp dance moves flawlessly executed with tenacity had only drawn him in further. And from that moment on, Hyungseob was sold.
Fan meetings are a common occurrence for idols, a way for idols to connect with their fans, to give them a personal one-on-one experience. For Woojin, Wanna One’s only debuted for about half a year, but with so many fan meetings having been conducted, the process of giving a grin, asking if the fan’s day has been alright, signing his or her album for them, and then waving them goodbye, has begun to be something Woojin’s almost tired of. It’s not that Woojin doesn’t appreciate his fans – he does, with all his heart! It’s just that when you have to repeat this cycle for about a hundred times a day, it gets a little exhausting.
So when fan number #742 from Yongsan comes up, bumbling, a huge DSLR camera around his neck, holding a paper bag full of slogans in one hand and the group’s new album in the other, Woojin isn’t really all that engrossed in anything, instead forcing himself to push away his fatigue and replace it with a weary smile.
It’s when he looks up, and fan #742’s right in front of him, that he realizes, he’s captivated. Fan #742 has sparkling eyes full of excitement that Woojin can’t help but think, he hasn’t seen on anyone in quite a long time. He has an aura different from anyone else he’s ever met, pure and innocent and – dammit basically he’s really cute.
But Woojin’s never really been one to express his feelings, so instead of saying any of this aloud, his thoughts are kept to himself and he simply asks for fan #742’s name when he passes the album across the table to Woojin.
“I’m Hyungseob!” fan #742 chirps, “Can you draw a rabbit beside my name, please?” Goddamn, Woojin thinks. Even his name is cute.
Unfortunately for Hyungseob, Woojin’s talents don’t include drawing, so his sketch of a rabbit ends up looking much more grotesque than what Woojin had envisioned it to be. Woojin grimaces before passing it over to Hyungseob, apologizing.
“Sorry, I’m only good at dancing, haha,” he sheepishly says, rubbing at his nape. Impulsively, he draws a few hearts on his album, which the other boy does nothing but peer curiously at.
This is a big thing – Hyungseob’s the first fan out of 742 that Woojin’s added hearts for.
… As mentioned earlier, the boy’s never really been one for expressing how he feels. And all that heart nonsense is way too cringy for him.
Fan #742 (aka Hyungseob) and Woojin end up meeting a lot more times after that first fan meeting, despite Hyungseob not living in Seoul. Hyungseob’s not as well-off as his friends Justin and Euiwoong are, so every single merchandise of Wanna One that Hyungseob purchases, he treasures, and he spends his days saving up for the next concert or fan meeting. He doesn’t manage to attend every single one, much to his dismay, but enough such that Woojin can remember his face anyway, out of the thousands of fans he meets every day.
It even gets to the point when Woojin starts to look out for Hyungseob’s familiar face in the crowd at fan meetings (concerts are too much of a mess, the lightsticks waving everywhere, the frantic yelling and cheering of fanchants, the frenzied waving of slogans). He doesn’t realize that the dissatisfying feeling at the bottom of his chest when he doesn’t see Hyungseob is disappointment, and never acknowledges how much he likes the feeling of when they intertwine their fingers together at a fan meeting, Hyungseob’s beam bright enough to light up the entire room.
This goes on for two years.
In two years, Woojin’s learnt a lot more about fan #742. Ahn Hyungseob is the same age as him, the both of them being ’99 liners, and him having just graduated from Daeri High School. Hyungseob learns dance too, which is how he had first gained interest in the group. He has a little brother named Ahn Seonwoo. He doesn’t really know what he wants to do with his life yet, but he’s considering becoming a trainee as well (Woojin tells him to go for it, Hyungseob has actual star potential, and he knows that everyone’ll be head for heels over the boy’s soft smile and zephyr-like gaze; yet a part of him somehow wants to keep him for himself, for Hyungseob to just be his fan, and his fan only – he doesn’t realize this, of course. Woojin’s terrible at understanding his own feelings.)
Hyungseob’s thrilled, of course, that he’s managed to become this close with his idol, and yet he never really makes much of it. His friends and other fansite masters take note of how comfortable Woojin seems around Hyungseob, and even though Hyungseob always denies it with a modest smile, the boy gains attention in the community for being ‘The fan who Wanna One’s Park Woojin gives the sweetest honey glances to’.
In July 2019, Woojin gets into a scandal.
An anti of his compiles a list of evidence as to why he and Red Velvet’s Yeri are definitely, most positively, dating.
It’s not true, of course – the two have never even had any interaction outside of the occasional glimpses of each other and music shows. But the damage is done, and despite the swift denial sent out by his agency, Woojin’s fans – and Yeri’s as well, are enraged, many leaving the fandom and making hate posts. Woojin’s always had to deal with hate from the moment he debuted, and he’s never really batted an eye or been affected by them, because, I mean, they’re just part and parcel of idol life, right? But the shock of the magnitude of this issue that he had never even been involved him can’t help but agitate him, and by his agency’s orders, he stays in the dorm for the next few days, not attending schedules while the rest of Wanna One go out without him. Even then, he can hear the sasaengs outside the door, furiously hollering for him to come out. Woojin doesn’t sleep for days, his dark eye bags growing as he despondently scrolls through his Twitter, ignoring all advice from his other members to not do so.
“Woojin oppa sucks! He’s a big fat liar! How dare you date Yeri unnie behind us Wannable’s backs! Petition for Woojin to be kicked out of Wanna One!” he reads out. “Ah, how wonderful,” he thinks to himself, “How I love this feeling of my fans supporting me!”
He scrolls through more of such comments until one catches his eye – he only very briefly manages to catch a glimpse of it, one among millions, as he fervently scrolls back up to find it.
“Guys, let’s support Woojin no matter what!” he reads the tweet aloud in his mind. “Whether he’s really dating Yeri or not, let’s just be happy for him if it’s true, and if it’s not, let’s just have faith and believe in him, as true fans of him!”
The tweet is from a Twitter user whose display name reads 토끼 안 (a/o: tokki ahn, meaning rabbit ahn). Woojin clicks with bated breath this account, and true enough, when he zooms into the user’s profile picture – it’s him. It’s the familiar, comforting face of fan #742.
He spends a good minute or two basking in the moment, marvelling at how he had so coincidentally (a/o: or was it... creepy moon emoji) succeeded in finding Hyungseob’s Twitter account out of the millions that had been mentioning his own on the social media platform. He considers the consequences of his actions for a few seconds, before deciding to himself, “Fuck it, I’m already in this much of a mess anyway” and messaging him.
박우진 (Park Woojin): hey :)
Hyungseob’s in his bed, just about to go to sleep when he receives it.
His eyes are about to burst out of their sockets, and he can barely contain himself as he moves to click on it – the direct message from Park Woojin of Wanna One.
With shivering fingers, he types a reply.
토끼 안 : hello…
He nearly jumps out of bed when his phone vibrates with a notification, the reply here.
박우진 (Park Woojin): sorry if u’re shocked or anything haha
박우진 (Park Woojin): just bored and stuff
박우진 (Park Woojin): and i managed to see ur mention to me so i thought
박우진 (Park Woojin): why not haha
토끼 안 : yeah… why not haha…
Hyungseob’s not usually this awkward over text, but the whole bizarreness of the scenario and the shock that an idol, his idol, as a matter of fact, had saw his mention, found his account and direct messaged him (which Hyungseob was pretty sure wasn’t allowed – I mean, the man was in the middle of a career crisis here!)
As for Woojin, he actually never really was this open on text (or in real life either, but whatever). In fact, he hardly ever even contributed much to the spam in the Wanna One group chat, mostly comprising of Daniel’s cat pictures, Seongwoo’s self-praise, Jisung’s naggy reminders and Sungwoon’s… whatever those weird chain message that he would always send were.
박우진 (Park Woojin): so how have u been?
박우진 (Park Woojin): i obviously
박우진 (Park Woojin): have been great! ‘lovin all the love i’m receiving rn
Hyungseob’s slightly concerned (okay – very concerned) at the sarcasm that Woojin’s equipping, but tries not to show it as he calms himself down to have a conversation with him.
토끼 안 : i’ve been ok
토끼 안 : what i’m going thru is nothing as compared to ur ordeal anw
토끼 안 : r u ok? :(
Woojin sighs, and flops down on his pillow. He decides, at that moment, that messaging Hyungseob had been a great idea, one of his best, even. This is the best he’s felt since the whole scandal had hit him. Somehow Hyungseob had a way of making Woojin feel at ease, like he could tell the boy anything. The two continue chatting through the night, and the next day, Woojin gets up refreshed and ready to start the day, despite sleeping late. The other members are a little startled by this sudden change in behaviour, from the Woojin that had just a night earlier seemed to be in a slump to this energetic man in front of them who had mysteriously changed overnight. Hyungseob enters school in a daze the next day, unable to pay attention to any of his lessons and constantly checking back at his phone, wondering if the messages from Woojin had just been another dream of his.
Woojin and Hyungseob eventually exchange Kakaotalk IDs so they can chat there instead of on Twitter – “Which is always hanging!” complains Woojin. “Ugh, I can’t relate to you and your celebrity problems,” replies Hyungseob (teasingly, of course.) The two talk almost every day now, and this relationship of theirs is revealed to no one else. Hyungseob’s friends wonder if he’s gotten a new girlfriend or something, always trying to steal his phone and whining at him to show them a picture of her.
“Finally, you’ve gotten over your obsession with Park Woojin and you’ve finally found someone!” they say, and Hyungseob simply laughs to himself, brushing away his friends’ remarks good-naturedly. He’s gotten used to the fact that he talks to Park Woojin personally now, the initial surprise wearing off.
It’s a few months after the scandal and when the two first begun texting, when the question hits Hyungseob one day.
토끼 안 : hey woojin
박우진 (Park Woojin): yea?
토끼 안 : so like
토끼 안 : were u rly
토끼 안 : or are u rly
토끼 안 : dating yeri
토끼 안 : haha
There’s a pause in between replies, which scares Hyungseob and causes him to panic a little, because although Woojin’s almost always busy and takes a while to reply, when he’s online (which he currently is) his replies come swift and quick.
토끼 안 : u don’t have to tell me if u don’t want to
토끼 안 : i was just wondering
토끼 안 : and i’ll still support u no matter what! haha
박우진 (Park Woojin): u’re so stupid
토끼 안 : hey! >:( that’s not very nice
박우진 (Park Woojin): how can i be dating yeri
박우진 (Park Woojin): when the only person i ever think of is u
Hyungseob’s lost for words. He drops his phone on his face. He can barely feel the pain from the impact of the fall stinging his face from the astonishment he’s feeling from Woojin’s sudden confession.
“Oh my God” , Hyungseob slaps himself. “You’ve got to stop daydreaming, haha…” He nervously thinks to himself, before he takes his phone back into his hands again to read the new message Woojin’s sent.
박우진 (Park Woojin): is this ur way of rejecting me :( yikes
토끼 안 : oh my god
토끼 안 : of course not i’m just
토끼 안 : flabbergasted right now
토끼 안 : oh my god
토끼 안 : oh my god
토끼 안 : oh my god
박우진 (Park Woojin): what am i supposed to make of that
박우진 (Park Woojin): so like is it a yes or a no
박우진 (Park Woojin): r u gonna date me or not ‘cause like
박우진 (Park Woojin): if u’re not i might just go hit yeri up!! u have been warned
토끼 안 : r u THREATENING me
토끼 안 : U LITERALLY JUST GOT INTO A SCANDAL OVER DATING LIKE 3 MONTHS AGO PARK WOOJIN U CAN’T BE DOING THIS
토끼 안 : but yea ok let’s date
토끼 안 : also i thought i told u i’d support u no matter who u date!!
토끼 안 : but nvm i take that back now u can only date me
Hyungseob’s friends are all, least to say, stupefied, when Hyungseob announces to them that he’s dating Woojin, them all brushing it off as another one of Hyungseob’s fanboy delusions. Hyungseob, of course, enjoys their reactions when the next day they see their friend’s face on the front page of all the Pann and Naver articles, his name appearing in the top searches along with Woojin’s.
“Not this again,” Woojin says out loud, locked in his dorm on his bed, scrolling through the millions of negative comments on his Twitter. But this time, there’s a warm body next to him, a head snuggled into his chest, legs tangled under the blanket and a soft voice calling out with a laugh, “Well, this time you have me. What an improvement!”
“What an improvement indeed,” Woojin thinks to himself as the peals of Hyungseob’s laughter reverberate through the previously lonely room.