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Soonyoung liked to think of himself as a professional.
It wasn’t too hard for him to push his feelings aside for long enough to focus on his work. Especially when it came to dancing. He lost his temper sometimes, sure, but it wasn’t hard for him to refocus shortly after.
This, however, was a new low.
When Jihoon asked him to help with some of his solo stage choreography, he was a bit concerned (for his own sake, of course) but didn’t think much of it. He knew the choreography was...different for Jihoon, especially for a performance where all eyes would be on him, and as the self-proclaimed king of sexy dancing, Soonyoung felt obligated to help. When Jihoon started rolling his hips, he felt his ears heat up but tried to focus on the technique. When Jihoon ran his slender fingers down his body, he felt himself ogling, but turned his intense concentration into advice.
However, like any normal person, Soonyoung had his limits.
Jihoon was on his knees on the floor, already enough of a problem for Soonyoung, when he fell forward, on all fours and crawled forward slowly, eyes trained on his own reflection in the mirror before darting towards Soonyoung for a split second. Soonyoung froze, his mouth going dry as Jihoon reached over to pause the music.
“Well?” Jihoon asked, sitting in a kneeling position. “How does it look?”
“Uh.” Soonyoung was in a small state of panic. He tried his best to focus on something else, anything else, aside from his entire body heating up. He wanted to say something to satisfy Jihoon, but his imagination was catching up to him. Fast.
They blinked at each other wordlessly for a few moments before Soonyoung couldn’t take it any longer.
“I have to go get something!” He shouted dumbly, and darted out of the room.
He all but slammed the door to the practice room behind him, letting his body slink down onto the floor. He held his head in his hands and looked down. Of course. There was a rising bulge in his sweatpants that was pretty damn hard to miss. He only hoped he managed to escape before Jihoon could notice.
Now that he was alone and away from the scrutiny of Jihoon, he allowed his imagination to run wild in hopes of letting it calm down. He replayed the scene in his head, Jihoon’s back arched and eyes half-lidded. There were few things in this world Soonyoung wouldn’t give up to have Jihoon crawling towards him like that. He let out a shaky breath before stretching his legs out in front of him and leaning against the wall. He tried to focus on the cool feeling on his back so he could get back inside with a clear head and get the rest of this self-inflicted torture over with.
A few minutes passed, and Jihoon seemed to get impatient. The door of the practice room opened and he stepped outside, eyes darting about before finding Soonyoung on the floor.
“Soonyoung! There you are.” Jihoon closed the door behind him as Soonyoung hurriedly brought his knees to his chest, hoping to hide his shame.
“Are you okay? You ran out of the room like a bat out of hell,” Jihoon continued.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Soonyoung said, his voice faltering. “I just wasn’t feeling well.”
Jihoon said nothing, scrutinizing Soonyoung’s expression for an answer. His eyes fell between Soonyoung’s legs, and his eyebrows furrowed as his mouth fell open.
“Are you fucking serious right now, Soonyoung? A boner!?” He kicked Soonyoung in the shin, causing him to groan and fall over in pain.
“Can you not shout that in the hallway!?” Soonyoung exclaimed, holding his leg.
“I can’t believe this. A fucking boner. You really got a boner from watching me dance.” Jihoon’s back was now facing Soonyoung, unable to look at him. Soonyoung could tell his hands were covering his face.
“I’m sorry,” he said, more accusatory than apologetic. “It was just...really...attractive, okay? It was good…”
Jihoon was silent and unmoving and Soonyoung knew he had dug his grave even deeper. Great, he thought, he ruined a member’s trust in him as a dancer. And more importantly, he probably ruined a friendship. Carefully, he got up, wanting to put a reassuring hand on Jihoon’s shoulder but he knew that probably wasn’t the best idea. He loomed behind him awkwardly.
“Hey,” Soonyoung began. “I really am sorry. I know this is awkward as shit but I don’t want us to be.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” Jihoon said, muffled behind his hands. “Goddamn horndog.”
Soonyoung nodded bitterly to himself. “Yep, I deserve that.” He bit his lip anxiously before continuing. “But look, at least you know you’re doing a good job, right? You’re seriously killing the sexy thing, it’s crazy. I didn’t know you had it in you.” A lie. Soonyoung definitely knew. “The fans are gonna lose it when they see your stage. It’s gonna be amazing.”
After a while, Soonyoung saw Jihoon’s hands fall from his face as he let out a deep breath. “I guess you’re right.” He finally turned to face Soonyoung, their gazes meeting for a moment before Jihoon looked away quickly. His face was a light shade of pink. Fuck, Soonyoung thought. I forgot how cute he is.
“Um.” Soonyoung shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “Did you want to...continue? We don’t have to if you don’t want to, I totally get it.”
Jihoon shot Soonyoung an icy glare. “Will you be able to control yourself?”
Soonyoung couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I think so.”
Jihoon thought for a second before he gave him a small nod. “Okay. Then let’s keep going. I still want some help with some things.”
Soonyoung opened the door and let Jihoon in before saying, “No promises, though.” Jihoon didn’t even look back before kicking him in the knee again.
-----
After another hour of solid practice, where Soonyoung actually managed to keep his composure, they made their way back to the dorm. It was late enough that all the other members had retreated to their rooms in silence, so they took turns showering as quickly as possible. Soonyoung sat in the living room swiping at the game on his phone, afraid of going to his own room and disturbing his roommates with his restlessness. Jihoon came out of the bathroom, running a towel through his hair and stopped in front of Soonyoung.
“Still awake?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Soonyoung responded, not looking up from his phone. “Can’t wind down.”
“Ah.” Jihoon continued drying his hair in front of Soonyoung. After a few moments he hesitantly brought the towel down to rest on his shoulders.
“Soonyoung.”
“Hm?”
When Jihoon didn’t respond, Soonyoung looked up to find him staring at the wall, gripping one end of the towel on his shoulders. His lips were a tight line and his brow was creased slightly, an expression Soonyoung came to understand meant he was trying to find the right words.
“What is it?”
“Well,” Jihoon began. He turned his head to Soonyoung, still avoiding eye contact. “Earlier, what happened...is that how you feel about me?”
Soonyoung’s chest felt heavy. He was pretty sure he knew what Jihoon meant, but he didn’t want to say it himself if he didn’t have to. “What do you mean?”
“How you, you know…” Jihoon sighed, giving up on niceties. “The boner. Are you attracted to me?”
Soonyoung’s face fell. There was no point in hiding the truth. Defeated, since he was sure this wouldn’t end well, he responded.
“Yeah.”
Jihoon’s mouth opened and closed in response. He avoided Soonyoung’s gaze again. “I see.” His tone was completely unreadable and Soonyoung’s heart raced in distress. Was he angry? Upset? Annoyed? Contemplating cutting him off and leaving the group? His mind was in disarray.
“I’m sorry, I promise it’s no big deal, I don’t expect anything and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, it’s stupid and you’re my friend first and--”
“Soonyoung.” Jihoon stopped him, tone and expression still absent of any emotion. Soonyoung swallowed hard, wishing this conversation would just end. But the corners of Jihoon’s lips turned up ever so slightly, and he looked back at Soonyoung with a gentle gaze.
“It’s okay. I feel the same.”
“Wha--” Soonyoung began, and then Jihoon’s words sunk in.
“Oh.”
Oh.
Soonyoung was dizzy all of a sudden. Is this what winning the World Series felt like? Lee Jihoon, who he was sure was completely unattainable, who he’s had to restrain himself from doing something stupid and flirtatious lest he kill him for as long as he can remember, was attracted to him? Dare he say, thought he was sexy and seductive? He almost forgot how to move, until the memories of earlier came back to him, and he shot up off the couch.
“Wait! Then why the hell did you kick me earlier? That hurt!”
“Shh!” Jihoon lunged forward, shushing Soonyoung with his index finger. “Shut up, you idiot! Everyone is sleeping!”
“Well, answer my question! There was no need to kick me,” Soonyoung whispered harshly, pouting.
“I panicked! That was so embarrassing, I was just trying to get help with my dance,” Jihoon retorted. “I shouldn’t have kicked you. Just...how the hell was I supposed to react! The last thing I expected was for you to get a fucking boner from watching me during practice!”
“That’s fair. I really have nothing to say for myself.” Soonyoung grinned goofily before another realization struck him and he shoved Jihoon lightly. “Hold on, so you willingly showed me your ridiculously hot dancing while being attracted to me? Were you trying to seduce me or something!?”
Jihoon huffed. “That was not my intention. I have a semblance of control in my body, unlike somebody I know!” His eyes trailed off as he smirked. “Though, I did think if I seduced you as a consequence, it wouldn’t be so bad.”
“You little shit.” Soonyoung breathed out a laugh. “Well, you were successful. Satisfied?”
“Incredibly. Why do you sound so mad, anyway? You’re such a pain in the ass.”
They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before Soonyoung reached for Jihoon’s forearm and tugged him closer, towel falling off of his shoulders in the process. They could feel each other’s body heat and their faces were mere inches apart. They stayed like that for a moment, too nervous to make the first move, before Soonyoung spoke.
“Jihoon.”
“Uh huh.”
“Can I?”
Jihoon began to nod before his eyes flicked a way for a moment. “Hold on.” He pushed at Soonyoung’s shoulder, causing him to fall backwards on the couch, and Jihoon straddled him, setting a hand on his chest for support. Soonyoung’s eyes widened in shock as Jihoon smiled, moving to close the distance between them.
“Much better.”
Kissing Jihoon was nothing like what he expected. It was warm, and his lips were a little dry, but Soonyoung was sure his own were probably worse. He wanted to be self conscious about it but right now he couldn’t care. Jihoon was careful, wanting to take control but clearly nervous, so Soonyoung snaked a hand around the nape of his neck and kissed him back fervently. This earned him a muffled gasp from Jihoon, curling his fingers around the fabric of Soonyoung’s shirt. Soonyoung dared let some tongue slip, and though Jihoon seemed reluctant at first, he easily accepted it.
When they pulled apart, panting a bit, Soonyoung looked up at Jihoon in awe. “Holy fuck, Jihoon,” he breathed.
“What? Was that weird?” Jihoon asked, face flushing a bit.
“What? No, that was amazing,” Soonyoung said. He frowned. “Did you not enjoy it?”
“No, I did, but I felt weird? I don’t know.”
Soonyoung laughed at Jihoon’s reluctance and rubbed his thumb up and down Jihoon’s nape. “Relax, you were not weird. That was sick.”
Jihoon snorted. “Sick? Really? Why am I attracted to you?”
“Beats me,” Soonyoung said, pressing a kiss to his jawline. “In all fairness, I could have just thought that was awesome because it’s you.”
Jihoon lightly punched him. “Gross. You sound like you’re in love with me.”
“There’s a possibility.” Soonyoung continued kissing down his jawline to his neck and Jihoon fell silent. He looked up and saw that Jihoon’s eyes had fluttered closed, his lips slightly parted. Curious, he grazed his teeth against Jihoon’s skin, causing a light whine to escape from his mouth. In an instant Jihoon had opened his eyes and covered his mouth, surprised at himself.
Despite himself, because he was sure that was the most arousing thing he had ever heard in his life, Soonyoung broke into a fit of giggles at Jihoon’s embarrassment. “No shame in a little moan. That was super sexy.”
“Shut up!” Jihoon said, his face now buried in the crook of Soonyoung’s neck, hiding his burning cheeks.
Soonyoung rubbed Jihoon’s back under his shirt. “Come on, Jihoon, it’s really no big deal.”
Jihoon sighed and pulled away, frowning. “I think we should stop anyway.”
“What!?” Soonyoung gasped. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“Not like, forever, idiot,” Jihoon said with a roll of his eyes. “It’s just really late and the living room is probably not the best place to be doing this.”
“So? Where do you think Jeonghan and Seungcheol do it?”
Jihoon grimaced. “I’d rather not think about that, considering I share a room with them.”
Soonyoung pouted in protest and Jihoon sighed once again. “You’ll live, Soonyoung. We spend every waking moment of every day together. There will be another chance.”
Soonyoung beamed. “So does that mean you want to do this again?”
Jihoon laughed. “Of course I want to. God, you’re so easy to please.” With a light pat on the cheek that turned into a lingering caress, Jihoon lifted himself off of Soonyoung and began to make way to his room. “Sleep well, okay?”
“Jihoon! Come back!” Soonyoung called, mostly for dramatic effect (though he really did want him to come back).
“Go to sleep, Soonyoung,” Jihoon said over his shoulder before closing the door to his room.
Soonyoung sighed, turning away from Jihoon’s door and fell onto the couch. Nothing that just unfolded felt real, though he had a nagging suspicion that Jihoon might have felt the same. Still, he never imagined his shameless and stupid mishap could lead to a confession from the object of his desires (and, if he was being honest, his uncontrollable affection, too).
He could get used to this.