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Picture this: there's a kid hiding under the covers in bed, waiting for the shouting to stop. There's a kid biting his nails, hearing the door slam and waiting for his father to come back and his friend to come over, the first one rarely happens, the second one always does. There's a kid who thinks he's the problem, he's heard it way too many times for it not to be real and they get taught at school that their parents only say the truth.
Picture this: there's a teenager living in a small apartment that always smells like smoke. The teenager lives with his older boyfriend, who treats him like a prince, whenever he isn't busy shaping his head in whatever forms he wants to. Whenever he's not busy trying to make him understand that he exists solely for other's pleasure. His friend still comes over, but his boyfriend doesn't like it.
Picture this: there's a man living is a small apartment on campus. But this time the walls that matter are the ones he built around himself, a little brick missing to let his friend come over. The days of hiding under the covers have gone and his friend has come over, who says you can't have it all?
*
"He's gonna find out," Jungkook's breathing isn't stable.
"He's not," Jimin assures him, while unbottoning his nice jeans in a bathroom stall, "nobody knows."
"Tae knows," argues Jungkook, always the know-it-all.
"Tae knows everything," Jimin shrugs, "he's a genius"
"Or maybe we're just not being careful enough," reminds him Jungkook.
Jimin's boyfriend is in the other room, they can hear him laughing as Jimin gets down on his knees.
When they're done, they walk out to get some fresh air. Jungkook's hands are shaking as he tries to light up a cigarette. Jimin works the lighter and Jungkook burns.
*
Twenty years ago a little dog named Cloud found interest in the neighbors' son, a tiny creature who liked stumbling around and call him good dog. Jungkook once found out where his dog disappeared to, walked into Jimin's garden and in his life and never left.
Fifteen years ago the class bully took a liking to sweet tears spurring from honey coloured eyes. Jungkook remembers his own voice sounding hoarse as he warned him to not touch Jimin ever again. The next day he got suspended, but when his mother asked he said it was for a good cause. Jimin's still a bit mad about that. Claims he isn't a damsel in distress.
Ten years ago Jimin got himself an asshole for a boyfriend, Jungkook still wonders if things would have gone differently if that hadn't happened. Jungkook remembers his own voice screaming don't you dare say that to him and they looked at the bastard's face once and then never again.
Five years ago they were kids living in their own, parents long forgotten. Jimin worked the graveyard shift at a convenience store when a the manager found a liking to eye make up and plump lips. Jungkook remembers the anger in his voice when he told the guy to leave Jimin alone. He didn't tell me he head a boyfriend, the guy said, and Jungkook's nuckles hurt for a day or two, who the fuck remembers.
And they're not kids anymore. This isn't Busan and there are no screaming parents but doors still get slammed.
*
So, here's a bit of backstory for you: Jimin and Jungkook met at the the ages of 4 and 3. Two kids way too young to realize what they were getting into. They hated each other, of course, maybe their past selves were trying to warn them.
Here's some backstory cause when you've know someone for nearly twenty years, you know them inside and out, every ugly part stripped naked for only your eyes to see. When you've know someone for this long you can read them, you get them.
After they stopped competiting against each other for being the teacher's favorite, they decided to become allies against the bullies in class who took a liking to Jimin's wide doe eyes and tiny figure. Jungkook fought teeth and nails for his spot as Jimin's defender and he still hasn't given it up, no matter how many become smitten with him to the point of sacrificing themselves and their well being.
Everything went alright until Jimin got his first boyfriend at the tender age of 14. The guy, an asshole, was a few years older and more experienced. His manipulative ways made Jimin think he wasn't capable of being loved, that he was only an object there for other's pleasure, and his thoughts haven't changed till this day.
After that, Jimin put up a wall in front of him, but let Jungkook in. He'd always let him in.
Things didn't change when they got to college until Jimin found comfort in Lee Taemin's arms. The older dancer was sweet enough to get through Jimin's though exterior, and they had been dating for almost four months now.
So, here's some backstory for you: the first time Jimin cheated was in college, with his first boyfriend. He isn't a bad person, but Jungkook always tells him that he's not something that can be tied down and he's right. The other guy was older, drunk and married judging by the cool ring Jimin felt when the man was sliding his hands up and down his naked thighs while holding him pressed against the bathroom door in a club.
He hasn't stopped since. He's not a bad person, fuck, he's the best person. The best friend. But there's just too much of him to give that can't be limited to just one person. Jungkook knows this and that's why he doesn't judge him.
When Jimin got tired of smelly, drunk guys in clubs, he turned to his friends. First it was Jongin, then Taehyung for a while, Hoseok wanted to experiment a bit, Yoongi that one time, but the more consistent one had always been Jungkook.
They started when Jimin was dating Jinyoung, and never stopped.
*
"Kiss me, Guk" Jimin had whispered with that breathy, alluring voice of his.
And who was Jungkook to refuse this? A weak man, probably. A man who had been in love with his best friend ever since he stumbled his way into that garden back in Busan.
You can't resist Jimin, you just can't, and everyone knows it. You don't refuse a god and Jimin has definitely been one in another life.
Jimin knows it too, and uses it to his advantage. Luring innocent guys and accidentally ruining their lives when they start to care, they always start to care. That isn't what Jimin wants, but the power he has over them is a good second.
So Jungkook had kissed him once, and then again and again until they both didn't know where one started and the other ended. Then, they took off their clothes.
It started there, it never really stopped.
*
"There can't be an happy ending," Jimin whispers, voice muffled by the sheets he had previously pulled on his face, "you know that, right?"
And Jungkook knows it. Fuck, if he knows it. He thinks about it all the time. He's in class and all he can think about is Taemin's eyes when he spots Jimin in the cafeteria. He thinks about it in the shower, hand wrapped around himself and soft moans whispered under his breath. He thinks about it when Taehyung decides to open the vodka.
Taehyung doesn't approve of their relationship, if it even can be called that. But he's their best friend, knows the both of them inside and out, knows the way Jimin grimaces when he eats something with a high percentage of fat, and knows the way Jungkook laughs that rare high pitched laugh of his whenever he finds something really hilarious. And honestly, Taehyung is their best friend, that's why he doesn't say anything, keeps his mouth shut to avoid putting even more burden on his best friends' shoulders. He's always been too much of a nice guy.
Their relationship consists of this, hurried make out sessions in the showers at the dance studio long after everyone's already on their way home, a stolen kiss here and there in some badly lit hallway and a thousand of stolen glances. Nights of making love in Jimin's apartment when Taemin is away for some dance contest across the country and hurried fucks in silence at Jungkook's place to let Taehyung sleep peacefully in the room across the corridor.
"Yeah, I know," Jungkook sighs while pulling the other closer, "but don't worry your pretty little head about it now" and pulls him into another kiss.
Jimin gives in, he always does. Has always found himself quite weak to the eyes Jungkook gives him whenever he wants something, it's been this way since when they were neighbors back in Busan and it's not gonna change now just because they're twenty years older and in another city.
They're silent as they make love, if it can even be called that. Taehyung is working on an art project in the other room. He's actually a biochem student, a genius, knows at heart complicated names and formula that others wouldn't understand ever in their lives. But lately he's been pretty keen on art, ever after he went to Chicago with Hoseok and saw a Van Gogh exhibition, and of course, being the genius that he is, he's an ace at drawing too so he had decided to take an art course alongside his already way too difficult classes.
Taehyung is working on an art project in the other room and Jimin has to bit down on Jungkook's neck when he comes, doesn't really want his best friend listening to what he sounds like when he reaches his climax, even though a few of them had lived the experience firsthand. But he did get a kick out of it when Jungkook fucked him in the showers at the studio while others were in the locker room, helping each other to memorise routines and giving advices on new healthy diets. Taemin was one of them.
"You gonna stay tonight or what?" Jungkook asks.
Jungkook always asks and Jimin always gives the same answer. Jimin wonders why Jungkook even bothers and they're both predictable as fuck.
"You already know I'm about to go," and just to prove his case, Jimin untangles himself from the other's tight grip, so tight it seems like he's planning on keeping him forever, and starts looking for his jeans.
"But it's late," Jungkook answers as always, "it's cold and dangerous, and you're too pretty to go around campus alone."
Jimin wishes his cheeks didn't turn red every time he gets a compliment, "Taemin is going to be home in about an hour," he puts in his shirt, "he's out with Jongin and the others and he always gets back at 3, he can't know I wasn't home all this time waiting for him like the perfect housewife."
"Oh honey," Jungkook laughs, "you're anything but an housewife"
"Well," Jimin ponders, "I do let the hot gardener fuck me while the husband's out."
Jungkook laughs again but this time there's a hint of sadness and a whole lot of excitement in it, a weird combination, their relationship in two feelings, "Baby, you know you're a wildfire. I still wonder what the fuck you're doing, letting someone tie you down like that."
They've had this argument so many times and Jimin is tired, tired, tired, "I love him."
"Oh, sure," Jungkook's laugh sounds malicious, it doesn't suit him, "you love him so much that you get on your knees for everyone who wants it."
"Are you slut shaming me?" it's ridiculous, "you know you're the only one I do this for."
"Oh sure," Jungkook's tone is mocking, "so that wasn't you and Yoongi in the bathroom the other night at the bar?"
Jimin doesn't blush this time, "It was me and Yoongi, but it was a one time thing. He says he doesn't want to pull an Icarus, whatever that means."
"Fly too close to the sun and have his wings melted? He's smart," Jungkook concludes, "getting too close to you is deadly."
"Stop talking about me as if I am one of those fucked up teens from a John Green book," mumbles Jimin, "I'm not you all's manic pixie dream boy"
"I know you're not, I think I've known you long enough to know you're more than that," Jungkook argues, "but you can't deny that you like to exist solely for other's pleasure. Does Taemin know what you're really like? Or does he love you just because you're fun and you're always there for him?"
"You know he doesn't know," Jimin says as he ties his shoes, "he'd leave me if he knew what I'm really like."
"And you don't want that because you're not able of being alone," Jungkook concludes for him, always taking his thoughts and fear and making them his, "but when you're with someone you become everyone else's because you don't want to believe someone who actually likes you for you exists,
but hear this, Jiminie," Jungkook is serious, he always is these days, the frown between his eyebrows seems like it's been tattooed there, "I know what you're actually like and I wouldn't leave you."
Jimin scoffs, "Sure."
"I've known you like the palm of my hand ever since we were 5 and I've never left you," there's nothing but sincerity in Jungkook's words and that's why Jimin has to leave, "and it still feels like the day I realised-"
"Jungkook" it's a warning, the word that escapes Jimin's lips.
"-the day I realised I loved- and wait, I'm not done, don't you fucking dare leave now! Park Jimin!"
The only answer he gets is the door slamming and Taehyung's exhausted sigh from the living room.
When Jungkook gets out of his bathroom, he finds some spiked hit chocolate on his bedside table. He really doesnt say it enough but he's grateful for Taehyung and how he always tries to pick up the pieces Jimin leaves him broken into.
*
Jungkook has been in the studio for almost five hours when Hoseok enelters.
"I knew I'd find you here," he says, stopping the music.
"I was wondering who was gonna show up this time: you or Seokjin" Jungkook answers, laying in the floor and breathing hard after the exercise he just put himself through.
"Why not Tae?" Hoseok asks as if it's relevant.
"Tae always goes to him," Jungkook shrugs, "so, is it him or Yoongi today?"
"Yoongi" Hoseok answers, "Tae is busy with his decoupage class."
"His what now?"
"I don't know man," Hoseok laughs, "something he just started and- wait don't you try to change the topic, you brat"
"So.."
"So," continues Hoseok, before laughing again, "you both pull those long faces whenever this happens, it's hilarious"
"Jimin is a mirror even when he doesn't mean to be one," agrees Jungkook, "how is Jimin's therapy session with Yoongi going?"
Hoseok lets out a big guffaw, "They were cuddling, last I saw."
Jungkook wonders if he should ever get jealous about Jimin, but that would be like getting jealous of his own rib and Jimin was always a free spirit. Something his boyfriends can't seem to get. Oblivious fuckers. They always get so damn possessive over him, as if they don't get that Jimin just can't be limited to give himself to one person, that'd just be cruel, Jimin is way too great for not being appreciated by everyone and he's just that nice to let everyone do it.
"Just cuddling?" he asks anyway.
Hoseok nods. He doesn't know what's going on between them and he doesn't want to know, has always thought Jimin and Jungkook were too much like a tsunami and he still gets scared of too much water after that one incicdent he had years ago in Jeju Island.
"You wanna talk about it?" Hoseok asks with a soft voice.
Jungkook shakes his head, "Nah, it's not worth it."
"You saying something Jimin-related it's not worth it?" Hoseok sounds surprised, "that's new. You finally got over him?"
Jungkook doesn't ask how he knows, he figures the way he must stare at Jimin even when the other isn't doing anything tells more than words, "Is it even possible to get over Jimin?"
Hoseok laughs at that, "Haven't been there, but I assume it's not, seeing how that ex of his still hangs around."
That catches Jungkook's attention, "Which one?"
"That exchange guy from Japan," Hoseok is fast to answer, "he hangs around the studio when he knows Jimin will be there, poor guy must be desperate."
Jungkook laughs, but it doesn't sound happy, "Yeah, Jimin has that effect on people."
Hoseok just throws a comforting arm around him and pulls him close.
*
So, here's what gonna happen: they won't speak for a few days, just throw the usual pining lances at each other across whatever room they'll be in. That, until Jimin will get tired of fighting and invite him over to watch a movie. They won't speak until they start fucking and they're still predictable as fuck.
So, here'a what gonna happen: Taemin will get tired of not getting through Jimin in a few months. He'll probably find out about the cheating too, will cry and hit Jimin in the chest saying that he hates him. They'll break up and Taemin will go to look for comfort in someone else's arms, probably Jongin, judging by how close they seem to be and the fact that they both know what it's like to be caught in Jimin's hurricane and then left there to die.
So, here's what's gonna happen: Jimin will probably date again, a thousand guys to make up for that stupid asshole who ruined him when he was too young to even comprehend what was going on. He'll cheat on them and his friends will come and go, but not Jungkook. Jungkook will be in a corner, waiting to get involved at the nod of Jimin's head. People in their lives will come and go and Jimin will never take down those walls, but will always leave a little entrance for Jungkook to come over.