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It was his suggestion, after all.
She had always loved tales, and it came as no surprise that those mystical ones with princess drew her in the most. He remembers one summer day he had spent with her- one of many he kept locked away in his chest, preserved eternally in his heart.
The sun was graciously laying its rays upon the vast, luminous sea. Large vessels and small tourist-transporting boats wandered its blues, each and every breath exhaled in joy and exhilaration of those who were part of the ideal scene.
When his turquoise eyes had stolen a glance at her, he remembered the way her pink lips had been settled into a genuine smile, her beautiful locks of golden hair glimmering beneath sun’s rays. Most of all, he remembered the faraway look in her eyes as she stared at the ocean as if she wished to cast herself beyond the railing and into that wonderful world that she knew so little about.
“This reminds me of tale, you know? It was quite lovely. A mermaid leaves her home to pursue love. Isn’t it wonderful what love can make you do? Can you imagine; a world where our love comes atop of our own selfish desires?”
He listened thoughtfully, as he always did when she spoke. Rika was a mystery; a beautiful story, a picture that captured a million angles all at once, and he loved the gentle thrill of unraveling her. Of learning about her; of understanding who she was. He took her words into his heart and locked them in that safe of treasures.
The rest of the conversation faded into a blur of blue and vermilion. The day had stretched into an afternoon mingled with the fresh scent of the ocean and the sweetness of Rika’s lips.
The words remained, though; safely hidden within him, now fighting to burst out of his heart, urging him to spill its contents to himself.
All the things those lovely pink lips had spoken came spilling out of him, with the viciousness of a hurricane and the urgency of a tidal wave; they now lay before him, scattered on the white bed sheets that were nothing but a light haze to ruined his eyes.
His heart had split and had reluctantly abandoned all of her words, all the memories of her; beautiful, delicate, waltzing into life like the sun does into the welcoming twilight sky. His eyes blurred even further with the emotions suffocating his chest and the sorrow clutching his soul. A certain wetness escaped them, and the feeling built up pressure like a spring winding itself eagerly, waiting to be released in the form of a waterfall of hurt. He could feel the agony that wishes to be freed past his lips in the form of a sob.
Suddenly, he remembered another tale about another princess. An aged lady showed her kindness, so she bit into her poisonous fruit as a gesture of gratitude and to prove her lack of hostility, her openness to accepting a single present from a harmless woman.
He had taken her hand, he had given her the key to his soul, to his heart, to his entire being. He had promised her that he would consume both her honey and her poison. That the taste of demise at her hands would be nothing short of sweet. And he’d meant it.
His hands found their way to his damaged eyes and shielded them. Wiped numbly at the treacherous tears. Forever unable to truly capture any beautiful moment and frame it for the world to see, forever unable to appreciate the world behind the lens of a camera.
The last image he had of her was of her luminous hair, her bright eyes and those lovely pink lips spread in a venomous sneer. There was lots of red that he was sure had apologetically stained her delicate pale hands.
Jihyun felt himself swallowing the poison eagerly as he choked up the surfacing emotions. He felt it burn against his throat and descend into his veins. Incinerate his insides and burn away everything that was selfish, everything that wasn’t for her.
He picked up all the words and memories of her that had spilled over the hospital’s pearly sheets and stained them like his tears had, returning them to their rightful place in his heart. His metaphorical might have pricked themselves on the broken memories of her, but he bled happily for each and every picture of Rika that he could save. The poisonous fruit which represented the need to reassure her of his love settled at the pit of his stomach, slowly destroying anything in its way.
His hands found their way to the mockingly white sheets and clenched them softly, feeling their softness. Soft and warm, just like her hand and her smile and the aura she gave off and everything.
The was a blur of her touches, her words, her hair; her cherry red lips that he loved when graced with a smile, that he’d love when bearing a growl. Her flowing hair like sunshine, her glimmering eyes.
And then….
The door creaked open, tearing a portal into the world that Jihyun had built around himself. The soft voice of his assigned nurse, the soft footsteps of Jumin’s dress shoes, the soft feeling of a breeze rushing through the window to ruffle his hair. Soft chirping of a songbird on a nearby tree.
The poison churned in his gut uncomfortably. Every secret, every word, every gesture and every image of her were safe in his chest now, away from the prying eyes of those who should not see, who should not know.
He loved her. He didn’t care if it burned him alive. As long as he and only he was being torn apart by her delicate fingers, as long as only he felt the ache of her demands when she was in a stormy mood and no one else was hurt.
Jihyun would offer her all the affirmations of his love that she needed. His soul was open for her to pick apart, his heart was hers to crush. He had given her his eyes already, and the sweet bitterness of the pain still lingered.
He could do this. He could bring her back, make her less angry, less volatile. He would take the venom and let her watch him burn, if only it calmed her soul and brought him back his happier, less disturbed Rika.
The nurse was very kind to him and said that despite his vision being damaged, there was a way to fix it. He refused.
It was the first time Jihyun had heard Jumin let out a cry of astonishment.
“Can you imagine; a world where our love comes atop of our own selfish desires?” Jihyun whispered quietly to himself, gazing at his childhood best friend with his milky eyes.