Chapter Text
Jimin always feels like he's flying when he dances. So light like a bird, he moves on the dance floor.
Jimin always stays in the practice room the longest. While everyone is on their way home, Jimin is the one who's still in the building, dancing freestyle or going over the choreography just to dance a little bit longer.
Jimin always takes a cold shower after he finishes. The not so warm water calms him down and relaxes his muscles (whether you believe it or not, Jimin likes cold showers).
Jimin is always kind to the other dancers in the team. He is friends with some of them and with others - even close friends.
Jimin always glances at someone in particular, but he doesn't make it too obvious (at least, that's what he tells himself).
Jimin always admires that someone's dance style. Even though that someone wouldn't say it aloud, he is a great dancer. Who is it, you ask? It's no other than Jeon Jungkook, a singer who happens to be extremely popular. And Jimin? Jimin is just a backup dancer who happens to be in Jeon's team from the beginning.
Jimin always... finds himself falling for Jeon Jungkook (but that's not what he tells himself, well... at first).
~\*/~
What is it that makes Jeon Jungkook so perfect?
(He did not make a list!)
It's definitely not the smile, that appears on his face when everyone dances in synch.
It's definitely not the way he goes over the choreography one more time just because the other backup dancers haven't gotten it right yet.
It's definitely not the way he points out the mistakes others make in such a gentle way.
It's definitely not the way he apologizes when he makes mistakes.
It's definitely not his voice when he practices singing while dancing.
It's definitely not his handsome face, that even with acne and scars, is perfect for Jimin (because perfect doesn't necessarily mean flawless).
It's definitely not his dance style. Not his sharp moves and how he executes them.
It's definitely not his muscular body and how his muscles tense while dancing. Not the way his veins-- arms-- and back-- yeah.
It's definitely and especially not the way he looks at Jimin whenever their eyes meet.
Jeon Jungkook, that popular pop star, is definitely not the definition of being perfect. There's nothing special about him. Nothing.
~\*/~
Jimin just can't take his eyes off of him. Whenever he dances, sings or just breathes, it's very difficult not to look. It isn't just because he's outstandingly beautiful (because he is) but also because he's a very kind person inside and... Jimin's ideal type.
Whenever the conversation between Jungkook and the other dancers comes to the singer, he always brushes off all the compliments with "I'll work harder". If the nice words won't stop after that, he can't help but blush and deny over and over again. That sweet blush which perfectly fits on Jungkook's face...
Jimin hasn't really got a chance to talk to him. If it's about work then yes, they talk. However, other than that, they haven't exchanged words at all. It isn't that he wouldn't like to do that, he just doesn't want to get involved into something that shouldn't exist in the first place. If not the fans that want their Idol to be single, the fame that Jungkook has or public's opinion about gays, Jimin would definitely at least try. Considering all the factors above, Jimin restrains himself to only looking and admiring.
It's sad. It really is. However, most of the time having a crush ends up with one side being hurt, it's nothing new and Jimin's case isn't any different. He's lost hope a long time ago but his feelings for the guy are still there. Their presence is bitter but it can also be really sweet sometimes.
Once Jimin was really close to getting over Jungkook. However, when the singer looked him in the eyes, the feelings that were slipping away came back like a yo-yo. He felt these stupid butterflies in his stomach, which made him feel sick. He went home earlier that day because he needed to calm his heart down. After all, it was all he got after a week of no acts or glances towards him. It was rare for Jungkook to notice him but when he did, it was like the world was crashing down strangely in a good way.
Jimin wishes they could be something more than just co-workers but Jimin also wishes they could be less than co-workers. He doesn't want Jungkook's career to go down this easily because of one stupid backup dancer that just couldn't get over his crush (would Jungkook even want him? - that's the real question, tho). Jimin just thinks and worries too much. He should be grateful that he can dance with someone like him and there he is wishing things he cannot have.
~\*/~
The practice room is totally empty with weak lights lighting the floor when Jimin enters it. He puts his stuff next to the door and straightens his back to stretch it a little. Stretching his hands, wrists, and arms as well, he makes his way to the center of the room. After doing the important routine, he heads to the speaker and plays some music.
It's when someone decides to open the door and come inside. Jimin quickly turns off the music and notices who it is.
"Oh, I apologize. I didn't know someone was in here." Jimin's mouth opens immediately when he realizes he hasn't mistaken the person. It's Jeon Jungkook. Well fuck.
"No, no. It's fine. I'm sorry. It's your studio after all and I'm just a backup dancer..."
"You're not just a backup dancer." Jungkook quickly adds, surprising Jimin. "You may think you're just one of the gray people at the back but if it weren't for any of you, the performances wouldn't be the same. I'm really grateful towards you." Jungkook explains, confirming that yes, Jungkook is a beautiful person inside and no one is going to convince Jimin that it's otherwise.
Jimin almost tears up but he doesn't, thank God. "That... was very nice. Thank you."
"No, don't thank me, it's the truth." Why is he so... unreal? Jimin sometimes can't believe someone like him exists. And sometimes, Jimin can't believe he's in this sweetheart's team. God, he may tear up again. "Um, would you mind if we share the studio?"
"No, why would I?" There are many reasons Jimin is quick to forget for him. Especially the crush part?
~\*/~
"Tell me, Jimin," Jungkook says while turning to sit across him. Jimin has no idea how that happened so quickly but it did and Jimin needs to go along with it. "Have you always been an incredible dancer or you just learned to be a legend?"
"Me?" Jimin asks. "Umm... I guess I was born a legend. I've danced ever since I was little. And you...? Have you danced a lot in your childhood?"
"No, actually. As surprising as it sounds, I've never wanted to be a dancer, especially a singer." Jungkook admits.
"Wow, so how did you land here as one of the most popular singers in Korea?" Jimin laughs.
"Dreams change." He shrugs. "I wanted to be a tattoo artist before."
"A tattoo artist?" Jimin asks with a dropped jaw. God, Jungkook would look hot with tattoos.
"Yeah."
"And I wanted to be a Little Mermaid when I was a kid," Jimin answers, sounding a little too sarcastic due to his lack of fortune.
"I'm serious!" Jeon then says back, suddenly laughing. At that, Jimin can't help but laugh too.
"Me too!" He answers between catching breaths. "I danced ballet and there was this big performance coming with a Little Mermaid as the main role." Jimin quickly explains. Oddly, it isn't as awkward as it might seem. The conversation goes quite smooth for a first time.
"Really?" It's Jungkook's time to be surprised. "I-I mean, I should have noticed. Your dance style is very unique." He stutters. Does that mean Jungkook actually noticed him? He wanted so badly to hear these words coming from Jungkook's mouth, it's unbelievable.
Jimin doesn't like the way the conversation went but at the same time, he loves the way the conversation went. His cheeks are probably deeply red by now.
"Thank you, I guess." He tries hiding his face behind his hands.
"Hey, hey," Jungkook calls out and takes Jimin's hands away from his face (his hands are so skinny and huge!). "It's okay. You don't have to be embarrassed about dancing ballet." Oh boy, he got this all wrong. But maybe for better - Jimin thinks.
"My bullies in high school thought otherwise." He blurts out without thinking. It's true, though.
"Hmm, I know something about that... I also got bullied but for my Busan dialect." Jungkook admits. It's weird how quickly they exchange the painful memories with each other but it could also be the honesty for honesty thing?
"I'm from Busan too! Fortunately, I learned Seoul dialect pretty quickly."
"Wow, who would have thought?" In Jungkook's eyes appears a beautiful sparkle or Jimin is seeing things.
"Busan boys should stick together, right?" Jimin says, only later realizing his mistake. It was too quick. Way too quick. His mind fills with doubts but when Jungkook smiles his usual, bunny smile; they all disappear.
"Yeah, Busan boys should be together." He answers, holding his hand up for a high five. Jimin does it with him. Somehow the word together made him think about something else but he knows it wasn't what Jungkook meant. "Umm, I was wondering if-" Jungkook's hand goes up to touch the ends of his hair and play with them nervously. "Ah, never mind."
"What?"
"N-nothing, really." However, Jimin insists and gets the request out of Jungkook finally. "Will you maybe, um, show it to me? Your dance? If you want to of course. I'd like to see it. At our usual practice, I can't really focus on others in particular that much." Jungkook says. Why does he sound so sweet? Who allowed him?
"Y-yeah?"
"Was that a question or an answer?" Jimin finally looks at Jungkook, who's smile is just as bright as the sun. It gives a lot of encouragement. Maybe the idea of dancing in front of him isn't that bad. God, why is he even thinking about doing it? Of course, it's a bad idea. It's his crush he'd dance in front of.
"An answer?" He continues shyly. Why did this conversation go that way? Why?
"Alright. Let me play some music." Jungkook says while energetically getting up and heading to the speaker. "Or do you want to choose?"
"It-it's alright if you choose," Jimin answers blankly, still not believing what is about to happen. He's going to dance. In front of Jeon fucking Jungkook. Yeah, they dance with each other almost every day but it's not like that. He doesn't have Jungkook's eyes on him then.
"Okay." Suddenly "Adult Ceremony" starts playing and Jimin's eyes open wider than ever. Jungkook turns around and laughs. Just fucking laughs. "Sorry, just wanted to make you less tensed. You look like you've just seen a ghost." It didn't really work but Jimin appreciates the try (maybe it did work a little... okay he smiled a bit but that's all!).
"Ah, sorry. I'm just a little worried about dancing in front of a one person." A very special person. "Normally we're all together but now..."
"If what I ask is too much, it's okay to tell me." Jungkook smiles.
"No. I... I want to." He then says, sounding more confident than he's imagined. "But maybe something else than ballet." He continues awkwardly.
"Do you have anything in mind?" Jungkook rises a brow. God, this is actually happening!
"Yeah. What do you think about "Own it"?"
"Sounds good."
The music starts immediately and he dances right when it plays. Jimin tries to focus on the dance moves and not on Jungkook, and his eyes on him but it's... hard. Actually... not really. Now that he dances, that one specific feeling grows inside him. He can't call it but he knows well what it wants him to do. It wants him to impress Jungkook really badly.
~\*/~
"I didn't know you knew the choreography to the song?" Jimin speaks up first after the song has ended. Jungkook joined him in the middle of it, surprising Jimin with his knowledge of the choreography.
"I kinda do? Please, don't tell anyone," Jungkook says a bit shyly.
"Why?" Jimin asks curiously.
"It's a surprise for fans. I'm going to record myself and then upload it to my YouTube channel." Jimin nods with understanding. "You were great by the way."
"You weren't bad either." Casually, remember Jimin, sound casually. This is not a big deal-- Who is he kidding? It's a huge deal. A compliment from Jungkook? A second one today?
"Would you-" Jungkook closes his mouth so he wouldn't say anything.
"It's okay to ask." Jimin encourages him.
"Sorry, I just feel like I'm asking you way too much. You're probably tired..."
"Yeah, I'm 100 percent tired, I came here especially after work only to pass out. Dancing was definitely not in my intention. How... how did you know?" Jungkook bursts out laughing sincerely, what makes Jimin grin too (His bunny teeth are so cute!).
"Right, it doesn't make sense. Sorry."
"What are you apologizing for? It's okay." Jimin sighs. Jungkook's manners are on an another level, really. "What were you asking before?"
"Um, right. If you aren't tired..." Jungkook looks at Jimin with a little smile and then continues "and you aren't busy... would- would you like to dance with me?"
~\*/~
They talk more. The dance studio became their place of meeting. While the whole crew is around, they don't really interact besides the glances being thrown towards each other (Jungkook looks at him more than before!) but when they're alone, they just can't stop talking. Whether it's about dancing, music (which the two are the most common) or the less important stuff, their mouths just can't stop moving (Jimin would like the dirty sounding of this phrase to be true but he's happy with talking too).
If Jimin would be asked to say who Jeon Jungkook is to him, he'd say that he's his best friend.
If Jimin would be forced to say who Jeon Jungkook is to him, he'd say that he's his crush.
If Jimin would be asked to say who he would like Jeon Jungkook to be, he'd say that something more.
That's basically it.
If only Jungkook knew that...
~\*/~
That day when they talked in the dance studio made everything worse.
That day made him think about Jungkook even more than he already was (and that was a lot).
That day made him notice more details, not necessarily the good ones.
That day made him aware of some things he tried not to think about.
That day made him aware that Jeon Jungkook is fucking hot.
Now whenever Jungkook is sweaty after a long practice, he can't control a lot of things.
A) He can't control his eyes from wandering down to Jungkook's wet and, what comes with it, see-through T-shirt.
B) He can't control his eyes from admiring the strong things Jungkook has.
C) He can't control the blush that appears on his cheeks as his eyes wander basically all over Jungkook's body.
D) He can't control himself from imagining things. Especially Jungkook with tattoos. Fuck.
E) He can't control himself from falling more for him.
There's also one more thing that he has to deal with while looking at the singer but it isn't on the list just because of one reason - he still has control over it. He is a professional after all and having a sensation down there in the middle of practicing isn't a very professional thing to have.
Suddenly, his crush over that special someone isn't as innocent as before.
~\*/~
A comeback comes around. It's Jeon Jungkook's 4th comeback and 3rd mini album. Despite his short experience in the industry, he made his place up there. That's why any scandal is very harmful to the singer. That's also the reason why Jimin stopped coming to their late meetings. He also wanted the singer to rest well because of his busy schedule. The amount of sleep he would get while meeting him wouldn't be enough to have a proper rest.
Besides, it's not like they do something on their meetings that would harm Jungkook's social life. They just talk about dance or music and actually dance. They've become friends neither of them knew they needed. And it's enough for Jimin. Even though he would like something more, being friends is a miracle he didn't see coming. It's still hard to believe for Jimin while falling asleep. He'd sometimes wake up in the morning and think "Did it really happen?". Even after a few weeks, it still feels like a dream.
~\*/~
Jimin likes performing on the stage the most. Although he enjoys dancing all by himself or with Jungkook (still unbelievable) in the dance studio, the stage is what makes him truly happy. When the lights flash on his face, he feels like he's the highlight of the day (although he isn't). When he hears the loud cheers, he feels like he's going great (although the cheers are not for him but for Jungkook).
Although Jimin knows well that the stage isn't for him, he loves performing there like he's the only one who exists.
It's a little selfish but he doesn't care. He can be himself up there with no regrets.
He doesn't need to have a camera in front of his face to feel like he's a star.
~\*/~
He almost forgets about his feelings for that special someone. But I think readers know what happens when Jimin gets just a short glance from the singer. It isn't any different this time. Just a short eye contact and he's under Jungkook's spell again.
He almost forgets how important it is to eat while having such a busy in physical activities schedule. It isn't Jimin himself who remembers about something called breakfast. It is Jungkook who helps him recall the important noun. The singer has started to leave meals in small boxes with a note "To. Jiminie, Eating is important". He hasn't missed any fucking day.
He almost forgets that they are friends and starts to question Jungkook's doings. It's just hard for Jimin to get used to this kindness. His crush gives him food because he's worried about his health. How fucking unbelievable is that?
However, he can't almost forget that the situation between them isn't romantic because Jungkook sees him only as a friend.
Because that's what they are - friends.
~\*/~
"Are you avoiding me?" Jungkook asks him one day next to a machine with snacks. "You don't come to the studio at night anymore. Has something happened?"
Jimin startles at the sound of Jungkook's voice and looks up to catch the singer's eyes. "No, I just don't want to be a burden to you. I've seen your schedule, you know?" Jimin answers while playing with his fingers.
"But you're not a burden to me!" Jungkook denies just like a child, making Jimin stop touching his fingers. "I've been actually kinda sad these days that you aren't meeting me anymore."
"You have?" Jimin asks, uncertainty visible in his voice.
"Of course!" Jungkook answers confidently and certainly. He is like a kid today. Speaking like a kid, smiling like a kid, being happy like a kid... maybe Jungkook has really missed him...
"Alright... Then- maybe we'll meet tonight? Time as usual?" Jungkook gives him one of those happy smiles with wrinkles under his eyes and leaves him, almost jumping in happiness. This guy... is going to confuse the shit out of Jimin someday.
And that someday isn't that far away.
~\*/~
Jimin is already at the studio when the hour changes. He's come 10 minutes early because he couldn't wait anymore and decided to wait here instead (what a logic). It's equally twelve in the evening or at night - he should probably say. With his headphones in, he quietly sings one of Jungkook's songs. He doesn't even notice when Jungkook comes inside. However, he does notice when the two strong arms hug him tightly around his waist. That's when Jimin realizes that the common books' phrase of heart almost jumping out of one's chest is true.
"What are you doing?" Jungkook whispers when Jimin takes out the headphones from his ears. He just fucking whispers! And Jimin is the one that should be asking him that!
"Singing?" Jimin whispers back quietly. He doesn't know why they're whispering or why his heart doesn't let him speak. All he knows is that he's going to faint soon.
"What are you singing?" Jungkook continues whispering, the warm breath on his neck sends shivers down Jimin's body.
"Y-your song?" Jimin swallows, not able to stop himself. Jungkook has his head placed on his shoulder and Jimin does not want to turn around, never.
"Could... could you do that again?"
"D-do what?" Jimin almost turns around but he manages to stop himself. Seeing Jungkook from this close would be dangerous for his heart as well as his nearly fainting body.
"Could you sing my song again?" Jimin is well aware of Jungkook's hands around his waist and the singer's body touching his. He's been tense since the beginning of the embrace but now he begins melting like... for real.
"Which one...?" His voice trails away.
"Doesn't matter." If it wasn't for Jungkook's unique voice, Jimin would've thought that the person behind him isn't the singer. Why... why is he like this?
Jimin licks his lips and takes a deep breath while leaning (more likely lying but okay...) against Jungkook's chest.
"Don’t think of anything.
Don’t say anything, not even a word.
Just give me a smile."
Jimin sings quietly, almost whispering. He sounds a little breathless too (maybe because Jungkook takes his breath away?). Jimin doesn't know if Jungkook is feeling the song (his singing) or just enjoy making him confused but Jungkook starts swaying their bodies to the sides, dancing a little. No matter how hard it is to Jimin, he has to continue singing.
"I still can’t believe it.
All of this seems like a dream.
Don’t try to disappear."
Actually, the lyrics are pretty accurate to the situation they're in (maybe from Jimin's point of view).
"Is it true? Is it true?
You, You.
You’re so beautiful, that I’m scared.
Untrue, Untrue.
You, You, You."
Jimin suddenly stops, taking a shaky breath.
"Why did you stop?" Jimin can feel the frown on Jungkook's face.
"I... What are you doing?" Jimin tries to ask as delicately as he can.
"Me? Back hugging you." He answers smoothly. Jimin turns his head towards him. Oh, no.
It's a little dark in the room so he doesn't see everything clearly. However, he sees Jungkook's face perfectly fine. The sparkles in his eyes especially. "Why?" Jimin at first questions the embrace but soon finds himself questioning everything Jungkook does.
Why does Jungkook lick his lips? Why does Jungkook stare at his lips? Why does he get closer and why does he close his eyes? And most importantly, why doesn't Jimin react?
Jimin, again, feels like melting when Jungkook leans in, his breath touching his skin. Jimin closes his eyes as well. Will it have negative consequences? Yes. Will Jimin back away? No.
Their noses touch and Jimin is so ready for what's about to happen, that he isn't at the same time. His heart beats so fast, he doesn't hear anything else, not even his thoughts.
However, despite the tension, nothing happens.
He can literally feel the warmth getting further away and he wants to grab it and don't let go... but doesn't do anything. Jimin opens his eyes and sees Jungkook looking anywhere but him.
"We... should start practicing," Jungkook says.
~\*/~
Jimin doesn't know why Jungkook pretends like nothing happened when he was the one that hugged him first, that leaned in first! Jimin wants an explanation but doesn't ask further when he clearly sees that Jungkook tries to ignore what went down that day (what almost went down that day). He doesn't know if he should wait for Jungkook to make up his mind or be angry at him. Either way, he's hurting. Hurting a lot.
You can't just almost kiss someone and then pretend like nothing happened. That day haunts Jimin's dreams and makes him imagine what would have happened if Jungkook didn't back away (these dreams are not always the pleasant ones, he has nightmares about it too).
Jimin wants an explanation or a rejection because being stuck in the middle isn't good for him.