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Sana has had a long and exhausting day at school. These days it seems like all the teachers teamed up to make the students’ lives as hard as possible. But Sana won’t let that bring her down. She knows she is a good student and a few rough days are fine, she can handle it. Her way of dealing with the stress is to get home and take time to relax.
As soon as she steps a foot through the door to her house, she doubts she’ll have much time to relax on her own. While Sana takes off her shoes she hears laughter from the living room. That’s not unusual. What’s unusual is that Sana isn’t hearing the laughter of five guys. She’s hearing Elias for sure but the other person sounds like … a child. Which doesn’t make sense for Sana in that moment at all. That’s why she leaves her shoes and bag at the door and quickly goes to the living room door. She opens the door just so little that she can see who is inside. Once her eyes fall on Elias running around the living room, chasing a little child that is laughing uncontrollably a big smile finds its way on Sana’s lips. Sana is not sure why exactly she is seeing her brother play tag with a child in her living room but it’s funny to look at. It also brings back own memories of her eldest brother chasing Elias and Sana around the house or in the garden.
A few moments Sana just stands at the door, leaning on the door frame with her arms crossed in front of her. It takes Elias a minute or two to notice his sister being finally home. But when he does, he stops chasing the little girl, who is oblivious to Sana being there. Elias stands up straight and quickly goes over to the door, where Sana is still standing.
“Hey, Sana! Great you’re home!”, he says, still smiling and looking back and forth between his sister and the little girl.
“I completely forgot that I have a job interview in…”, he looks down at his watch, “… 15 minutes but I also agreed to look after Lily for an hour. But I really need to go now, you’ll look after her, right? Her mom will be here in 45 minutes or so.”
With that Elias walks past Sana. He doesn’t wait for Sana to answer. Confused, and a little overwhelmed with the information and task Elias just dumped on her, Sana turns on her spot and watches as Elias runs into his room and comes back to put his shoes on. While he does that Sana walks up to him and blocks his way to the door.
“Elias.”, she says and waits for her brother to look at her. He looks up and raises his eyebrows as if he can’t think of anything Sana would want to say to him in this very moment. “Why did you agree to look after Lily when you have a job interview? Am I supposed to babysit her now?”
Elias is preoccupied with putting his shoes on, checking his pockets and backpack to look if he has everything he needs. While doing that he looks at his sister again and nods. He’s in a rush and talking so fast that it’s almost impossible to understand what he’s saying. It would be impossible if Sana didn’t grow up with him.
“I forgot about the job interview. There was an emergency where dad and Lily’s mom are needed. She couldn’t find a babysitter so quickly and asked if we could babysit.” Elias is almost panting. He is rushing to get out of the house. Elias had told Sana about the job interview and she didn’t forget about it. So how could he?
Elias goes to open the door but then remembers somethings. He runs into the living room and quickly tells Lily: ”Hey, Lily. I need to go now to do something important but my sister, Sana, will be here with you, okay? She’s really fun, I promise.”
From where she’s standing Sana can’t see Lily but she hears a small ‘Okay’. Then Elias runs past her and opens the door and runs into the person standing right in front of the door, with his hand raised to ring the doorbell.
Elias looks up at him, says Sorry and turns to Sana to quickly say: ”Oh, and I also forgot that I made plans with Yousef. Please explain it to him. Love you. Wish me luck. Bye.” He keeps on talking while walking down the stairs until Sana and Yousef hear the main door close loudly.
With a very confused look Yousef turns to Sana and raises his eyebrows. But before asking anything he takes a second to look at Sana and smiles.
“Hi.”
Sana smiles back at him. “Hi.”
A few seconds they stand at the door and Yousef is content with it but he’s also still confused. He was supposed to meet Elias here to think of new YouTube- video ideas. That plan obviously won’t work out now because his best friend just ran out of the house. For a second Sana forgets that there is a child in her living room, she doesn’t really now. She has met Lily and her mom twice before but that was at big dinner-party type things.
“He forgot about his job interview.”, Sana tells Yousef.
Then her eyes widen. Now she remembers Lily sitting in the living room. Sana looks over her shoulder and looks back at Yousef with slight panic in her eyes. Even before Yousef can ask if she’s okay, Sana decides to ask him something.
“Do you have a little bit of time now?” Yousef looks at Sana, his head tilted to the side, trying to figure out why she would ask that. Usually Sana is not this direct. When they hang out, only the two of them, it’s usually not because Sana asks. It just happens.
Yousef tries not to get his hopes up too much, the panic in her eyes is not what he hoped she would look at him like when asking something like this.
Yousef nods. “My plans just got cancelled by Elias running out of the house.”
“You’re good with kids, right? I mean, you work in a kindergarten. And you want 12 kids someday, so you need to be good with kids, don’t you?” Sana is too busy hoping he agrees to help her babysit that she doesn’t completely realize what she’s saying.
Yousef can’t help himself and has to smile about Sana being so jittery and kind of nervous. It’s not often that Sana lets her guards down like this. Plus, she mentions the 12 kids. Yousef thinks back to the conversation they had in the kitchen weeks ago. The first real conversation they ever had. Yousef’s smile grows until he bites his lip to stop himself.
At the same time Yousef has no clue where this conversation is leading. None at all.
“I like to think I’m good with kids, yes.”, Yousef responds and immediately Sana opens the door more and points to the living room. The living room door is also open. Yousef and Sana both look at the little girl sitting on the floor and skipping through the pages of a book. Yousef observes how Sana’s panicked face softens a little when watching the little girl. Then Sana turns around and catches Yousef looking at her. She smiles shortly and blushes which Yousef notices and starts smiling too.
“Elias agreed to babysit her because he forgot about his job interview.” Sana explains.
Yousef nods and walks into the house. He closes the door behind him and waits for Sana to lead the way. Sana doesn’t need to explicitly ask him to help her. Yousef knows Sana enough to know she doesn’t like asking for help, ever. That she trusts him enough to do that makes him happier than he wants to admit to himself. Looking after a kid that is probably around 5 or 6 years old is not that hard anyway and he gets to spend time with Sana.
Sana looks at Yousef one more time and leads the way to the living room. Sana knows that it’s ridiculous to be so nervous to babysit a child. Especially when the child is 5 years old. She’s not a baby anymore. There’s still an uneasy feeling in her stomach that makes Sana unsure about this whole thing. She likes children. But she feels more comfortable when their parents are present so that they can deal with any problems their child may have.
Sana stands in front of Lily, who is looking up at Sana. To do that Lily has to lean back too much, which is why Sana decides to sit down on the floor, across from Lily.
“Hi, I’m Sana.” Sana doesn’t know what exactly to say. She doesn’t remember when it was the last time she was alone with someone under 16 years. Even with all her cousins she loves Sana is barely alone with.
Lily smiles broadly at Sana and nods which makes her brown her fly all over the place. Playing tag with Elias probably caused her hair to fall out of her ponytail. “I know.”
That makes Sana smile. At least Lily is not a child that doesn’t like to talk, Sana thinks. Because that makes everything harder. Still, now Sana is not sure what to do or say. Should she just let Lily play on her own, read her a book, play tag like Elias did? Lily goes back to turning pages in the book on her lap. It’s one of the fairy-tale books Sana’s mother put on their big book shelve. Sana lets her gaze wander through the room and finally turns to Yousef.
Yousef has been standing at the door and observing the situation in front of him. It amazes him how cautious Sana is around the little girl. There is still confidence in the way Sana sits down in front of the girl and introduces herself but it’s different from what Yousef has seen of Sana before. Behind the obvious confidence, Yousef can sense her nervousness and insecurity about the situation which is new. And very cute. His lips quirk up into a smile and Sana just looks at him with her eyebrows raised and a questioning look. Sana nods at Yousef as if to say that he should join them. So he does. He pushes himself of off the wall and walks to the two girls. Like Sana did before, Yousef sits down in front of the little girl. There’s only little space between Sana and Yousef. The little girl is still busy with turning pages without actually looking at them. She probably went through the book three times since Yousef stood at the door.
The little girl notices that someone new joined her and looks up from the book. With big eyes she looks at Yousef and then at Sana. Finally she turns her attention on Yousef again.
“Who are you?” Lily asks Yousef. Sana looks from Yousef to Lily and back to Yousef and sees how he instantly breaks into a smile.
He sits up straight and answers the girl. “My name is Yousef. I’m Sana’s …”, he stops for a second and instinctively turns to Sana. He could feel her gaze on him. With her legs crossed under her, Sana listens carefully to what Yousef says and when he stops and looks at her, she just looks back at him. Not answering for him. Did she know what they were to each other. Can Yousef tell the little girl what he actually thinks?
He ends up saying:” I’m Sana’s friend.” Yousef doesn’t dare to look at Sana. He fears seeing her reaction to that might be something he doesn’t want to see. He proceeds to talk to the little girl. “And who are you? I see that you already know Sana and Elias.”
Sana watches the guy sitting next to her and the little girl in front of her talk and all she can think in that very moment is: How cute can they be? Yousef’s tone when speaking to Lily is extra soft but he doesn’t talk to her like she’s a baby which Lily probably very much enjoys.
Sana misses a small part of their conversation because she was too lost in thoughts and secretly admiring how easy it is for Yousef to connect with children. She wouldn’t ever admit to that but the fact that he is good with children makes him even more attractive in her eyes.
“Elias played tag with me. Can we play tag?” Lily asks Yousef. Wow, how much could Sana have missed in that one minute she didn’t pay attention? They became friends fast.
Yousef nods but turns to Sana once more. He catches her watching them with a smile on her face, dimples showing. Without being able to take his eyes off of Sana Yousef answers Lily.
“We can do that. Do you want to ask Sana if she wants to play too?” Yousef doesn’t look anywhere but into Sana’s eyes for a few seconds and Sana doesn’t look anywhere but into Yousef’s eyes. He is not even saying or doing anything special but why does him sitting next to her, shoulders barely touching, make Sana feel so happy and content with her life in that moment?
Lily’s voice breaks the trance Yousef and Sana are in. They both look at Lily again.
“Sana, do you want play tag with us. Please?” Lily changes the position she sits in to lean a little forward, towards Sana. With a big smile and the cutest hopeful look on her face Lily waits for an answer. Sana’s smile matches Lily’s when she nods and agrees to play. Yousef tries not to stare at Sana but she makes it impossible for him when she is so cute like this.
“But let’s go outside to play tag.” Sana suggests. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because Lily furrows her eyebrows and pouts. The smile Sana was sporting seconds ago vanishes and once more panic fills her eyes. Yousef notices and doesn’t know if it’s more funny or more heartbreaking to see Sana react like this.
“But we played here with Elias.” Lily still pouts and crosses her arms in front of her. Sana takes a deep breath as if she wants to say something but she doesn’t.
Yousef speaks up and Sana’s head quickly turns to him. “Lily, I think Sana is right.” To that Lily looks at Yousef with a disappointed look and shakes her head. But Yousef doesn’t give her the reaction she wants. Working in a kindergarten teaches you to say No to children, no matter how cute they are and how much they pout or throw a tantrum.
“It’s much more fun playing outside. There is more space to run and there are swings outside!”
Lily suddenly jumps up and claps excitedly. “Swings!”
She jumps up and down and then takes Yousef’s hand and tries to drag him up from his spot on the floor, next to Yousef. Yousef stands up and looks down at Lily who is ready to run outside. Sana’s still sitting down but looking up at the two people standing in front of her.
Yousef holds his hand out to Sana to help her up. His eyes are trained on her. Sana looks from Yousef’s eyes to the hand he’s holding out for her. She’s glad that he supported her, even if it is just a small thing. She takes his hand and lets him pull herself up and to him. She ends up standing millimetres away from him. Both, Yousef and Sana, staring in to each other’s eyes forget everything for the shortest moment but as soon as Sana notices how close they’re actually standing she clears her throat and takes a step back. Her hand that is still in Yousef’s falls next to her and she presses her lips together.
“Let’s go now. Yousef, Sana. I want to go outside now.” Lily takes Yousef’s hand a ‘drags’ him with her. Before they leave the living room Yousef looks over his shoulder to Sana and grins at her. As soon as he turns away from her again Sana closes her eyes and breathes deeply in to recollect herself. What she doesn’t know is that Yousef tries to calm himself like she does while walking away from Sana when he’d rather go back to the same spot he was standing just seconds ago.
Sana knows that Lily is in good hands with Yousef. That’s why she isn’t worried about getting snacks and something to eat from the kitchen before going outside. When Sana goes outside, her eyes instantly find Yousef in his white T-shirt standing at the swing set. Lily sits on one of the swings but doesn’t move. Instead she asks Yousef a lot of questions. Yousef stands with his back to Sana, so Sana decides to wait a little bit before approaching them.
“How old are you?” Lily asks him.
“I’m 20. And how old are you?”
“5.” Lily answers and shows him her hand a wriggles her fingers.
“Do you like Elias?” Lily asks.
Sana hears Yousef laugh which makes her smile. She walks a few steps but doesn’t interrupt the conversation.
“I do. He is my best friend.”
“Really? But he told me he is my best friend today.” Lily says that in the most serious tone Sana has ever heard a child talk in.
Yousef chuckles again and saves the situation. “Did he? But you can have more than one best friend.”
To that Lily giggles and seems very satisfied with the answer. But she keeps on asking. Sana would have been overwhelmed with so many questions but Yousef is doing alright.
“So is Sana your best friend then?” Lily says but when Yousef doesn’t answer quickly she continues to talk. Sana is pretty amused by now but still very interested in Yousef’s answer.
“I.. no, she has other best friends.” Yousef answers finally. How would he describe their complicated relationship to a child?
“But you said you can have more than one best friend. Don’t you like Sana?” Sana has to concentrate a lot to not laugh out loud. Lily doesn’t make it easy for Yousef. Sana walks a little closer again to not miss anything Yousef says.
“I like Sana. I like Sana a lot, actually.” Yousef finally answers and Sana starts smiling broadly again. She wishes she could see his face right now but if she did she couldn’t listen now.
Lily continues talking about Sana and Yousef. Why she’s so interested Sana doesn’t know but she really doesn’t mind either. “So why is she not your best friend then?”
Yousef tilts his head a little and Sana can imagine what his facial expression looks like now. Eyebrows raised, a small smile on his lips and nose scrunched up in concentration. “I don’t know. Good question. Maybe we should ask her when she joins us.”
Sana waits a few moments until she walks the rest of the way to them and announces her arrival with “I brought snacks.” Lily jumps down from the swing and runs up to Sana. Yousef on the other hand turns around on his spot and watches as Sana helps Lily choose if she should eat sliced apples or a banana first. Yousef watches as Sana smiles, with her dimples showing, when Lily just can’t decide.
When Lily finally decides for the apple, she takes a slice and immediately shouts: ”You’re it.” And pokes Sana in her stomach. Lily starts running but Sana just stares after her. With the tray full of snacks and drinks in her hands, Sana react for a short while and then looks at Yousef. He’s standing at the swing set, arms crossed in front of his chest, smiling and nodding at Sana and then in the direction of where Lily ran off too. Sana closes the distance between her and Yousef and pushes the tray from her hands into Yousef’s arms.
For a while Yousef sits on the swing and watches Sana run after Lily or Lily running after Sana who is desperately trying not to run too fast but at the same time to act like that’s the fastest she can go. For some time the girls forget that Yousef is even there, at least that’s what Yousef thinks. Once in a while he hears Lily start laughing loudly which Sana joins with her own laughter.
“Hey!” Sana says to Yousef. The first time this whole time Yousef is at the Bakkoush house today he has his phone in his hand. He looks up at Sana who is standing a few steps in front of him. She has her hands in the pockets of her light blue hoodie. She smiles down at him and he has to squint with one eye because the sun is shining bright. The sunlight around Sana makes her look like an angel and her dimple-y smile distracts Yousef.
“Hi.” Yousef responds with a smile of his own but to him nothing matches Sana’s smile.
“Aren’t you playing with us?” Sana asks. She looks away from Yousef and behind him for a moment. Yousef doesn’t get the chance to think of a funny answer to make her laugh because he feels someone poking his back and hears a little girl’s voice shouting: “You’re it!”
Sana and Lily laugh at Yousef’s surprised look and while Lily starts running away immediately Sana stays stood in front of Yousef and smiles mischievously. Yousef puts his phone in the pocket of his pants and stands up.
“You teamed up on me?” Yousef asks the girl standing in front of him. Sana, trying to restrain her laughter pressing her lips together, nods. Yousef’s eyes follow the small movement and he starts slowly walking towards Sana. “That’s unfair.”
Sana rolls her eyes but still smiles. “Life is unfair, Yousef. Deal with it.”
Grinning Yousef raises his eyebrows and nods. He takes a few more slow steps and once Sana realizes what he’s doing, backs away slowly until they both break into a sprint. Sana runs between the swing-set, under the slide to the basketball basket. Yousef always right behind her. Sana has to abruptly stop because Lily crosses her path and that’s how Yousef catches Sana but they almost fall over because of the abrupt stop. Sana instinctively holds onto Yousef’s shirt and his hands promptly go to her arms to steady her. They are both a little out of breath, and not only because of all the running they did.
“Sana, you’re it!” Lily shouts.
--
“That was enough cardio training for the rest of the week.” Sana states after she closes the door and leans on it. Lily’s mother just came to pick her up. It wasn’t 45 minutes like Elias said. Lily was with Sana and Yousef for one and a half hours. That doesn’t sound like much but almost every second if that time was spend playing tag, hide and seek or any other game that demanded a lot of running.
“Is the basketball star Sana Bakkoush complaining about a little bit of running?” Yousef comments on that. Sana laughs at his comment, partly because it’s cute and partly because she doesn’t know how to answer to that. Yousef’s leaning on the wall across from Sana and they just stand there for one or two minutes just smiling at each other.
“But.. Thank you for staying. And helping babysit.” Sana thanks him. If he didn’t stay, she would have had a harder time. She actually had fun this afternoon.
“No worries!” Yousef answers and watches Sana push herself off of the wall. They walk into the living room and Sana starts collecting all the stuff Elias apparently found for Lily to play with. Yousef goes to help her and asks: “Do you like kids a little more now?”
Sana holds the book she picked up from the floor and turns to Yousef. “What do you mean? I told you I liked kids.” She remembers their conversation in the kitchen a while back.
Yousef narrows his eyes and looks at Sana critically. “I remember not being completely convinced, to be honest.”
Sana puts the book back on the shelf and turns around to Yousef and walks two steps to shorten the distance between them. “Just because I don’t want 12 kids like you do doesn’t mean I don’t like kids.” Sana picks up a stuffed animal from the sofa and shortens the distance between her and Yousef a tiny bit more.
Yousef remembers the Friday after he had to call Sana to get a drunk Elias home. The way she walks towards her now reminds him of the way she walked towards him with a soccer ball under her arm. He smiles at the memory and even though Sana doesn’t know why he is smiling, just matches him with her own smile.
“Well, you only want two kids. When someone likes kids, they don’t want just two kids.” Yousef replies. Now there are only three steps between Yousef and Sana and they stand there, looking each other in the eyes.
“Are you honestly telling me you would like to have 12 kids that need your constant attention after a this exhausting time with just one?” Sana asks because she knows it’s not the same as being a teacher in a kindergarten.
Yousef doesn’t look anywhere but into Sana’s eyes and nods.
“If it is this much fun, then definitely yes!”