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The sharp ‘snap’ of the door closing behind him still echoed in Viktor’s ear long after the plane had already landed at Charles De Gaulle. He had leaned against the white door frame and waited until his legs felt steady enough to carry him to his taxi, eyes closed and nails digging into the soft skin of his palms.
‘Don’t open the door, don’t go back, don’t let him see you like this.’
The words were like a mantra that he was still repeating to himself hours after leaving Russia and Yuuri behind. He wasn’t ashamed of his feelings, didn’t feel embarrassed by his racing heart. If it meant that Yuuri smiled, Viktor would do just about everything, consequences be damned. But this time, Yuuri had been pale. The heartbreaking smile he just managed to keep up had made Viktor’s chest feel just a bit tighter. Their goodbye kiss had been soft and full of unshed tears. Three days suddenly had felt like an eternity to Viktor.
Sighing, Viktor moved through the crowed on the airport, willing the images of Yuuri’s face falling after he had left away. Separation was always hard on both of them, despite the awareness that their profession sometimes made it unavoidable. Paris was a mere 3 hours and 15 minutes from St. Petersburg and yet Viktor felt as if they were a lifetime apart. Stupid interviews.
Since there was no luggage to collect, Viktor headed straight for the taxi stand, hoping to get to the hotel before his appointment at noon. He wanted to talk to Yuuri. If he timed it properly, Yuuri would be taking a break from his first run-through with Yakov right around the time he arrived in his room. A smile played on Viktor’s lips at the thought and his steps just got a bit faster.
[10:49:15] I just arrived at the hotel ♡
Viktor looked at his phone, willing it to ding with a message from Yuuri. It was ridiculous, his morning ice time would only end at 10 and in contrary to Viktor’s habits, Yuuri didn’t keep his phone on his body while skating.
Frustrated, Viktor threw the phone on the bed and undressed. Despite the relatively short flight, he still felt disgusting. 10 minutes was just enough to wash off the travelling smell before he could talk to Yuuri. He carefully placed his engagement ring on the bathroom counter and stepped into the stream of steaming hot water. Ever since his stay in Hasetsu, Viktor had taken a liking to very hot showers and bathes - Yakov called them scalding and argued that the only things sitting in such hot water should be lobsters.
Viktor chuckled at the memory, enjoying the feeling of the water running over his skin while he avoided getting his hair too wet so he wouldn’t have to endure blow drying it in a hurry. It took considerably less time since he had cut it all these years ago but he still harboured a dislike for it nonetheless.
When Viktor was sure that the stench of plane wasn’t clinging to him anymore, he stepped out of the shower and pulled the hotel bathrobe on after slipping his ring back on his finger, where it belonged. He sat down on the bed, side-eying his phone - 10:59am. He felt his pulse quicken slightly and had to press his hand to his right leg to avoid it from tapping excitedly. Just thinking of hearing Yuuri’s voice did this to him, made his stomach tighten in anticipation. A small ding made Viktor grab his phone, already knowing who the message was from.
[11:05:43] Did you have a good flight?
Viktor smiled at the message and hit the call button, not bothering to reply in writing.
“Hey.” sounded Yuuri’s warm voice from the other end of the line. In the background, Viktor could hear Yuri scream something that suspiciously sounded like cursing. Viktor shuffled a bit on the bed until he was lying comfortably on his side, drinking in the sound of Yuuri’s soft breathing clearly audible through the phone.
“This room is too empty without you, I think you should have come with me after all.” Viktor said playfully, knowing full well that Yuuri would have come in a heartbeat if his schedule had permitted it. But the season would start soon and Yuuri’s anxiety tended to get worse if he missed training. He also was due to meet some sponsors from a Japanese company that had taken an interest in Yuuri.
Viktor’s heart leaped when Yuuri replied with a low and easy laugh. “It’s only for three days, Vitya. Didn’t you say Chris would be around? I doubt you’ll spend a lot of time in that room.”
Viktor pouted at Yuuri’s word, not caring that Yuuri couldn’t see it. He had a point, of course. Viktor would leave for his interview soon and would meet Chris in the afternoon since the swiss skater had business to attend as well. He looked forward to seeing his friend again but it didn’t make up for being so far away from the love of his life.
“I wouldn’t mind missing Chris if it meant spending the night with you….” Viktor retorted, hoping he sounded as light-hearted as he intended to. The thought of spending the night alone made something in his chest twist uneasily. Nights had always been the time when the day’s loneliness caught up with him before he had met Yuuri. It also reminded him of the times when they were still distant and Viktor had to be satisfied with the thought that Yuuri was in the room next to his own.
The silence from Yuuri made Viktor perk up. Usually his fiancé would have replied with an easy joke or would have scolded him - he wouldn’t just be quiet, not towards Viktor.
“Are you alright, solnyshko ?” Viktor asked, worry creeping into his voice. Yuuri hadn’t looked well that morning with his sad smile and tense back.
“Ah yes, sorry, I was just a bit distracted.” Yuuri replied a bit too fast. Viktor frowned but knew better than to push Yuuri.
“Don’t overdo it and listen to what Yakov says, alright?” Viktor said, making sure to stir the conversation away just a little for Yuuri to catch his bearings again.
“I will. Is your interview soon?” Viktor felt his shoulders relax a little when he noticed the steadier sound in Yuuri’s voice.
“At noon, I just took a shower and will leave in…” Viktor turned to the hotel clock to check the time. “...15 minutes.”
“You should get ready then, I didn’t mean to keep you.” Yuuri said, regret clearly in his voice.
“I wouldn’t want to miss hearing your voice. I’ll talk to you in the evening, then.”
They said goodbye and Viktor ended the call, heart heavier than before. While hearing Yuuri had made him feel slightly better in general, it had also left a hollow feeling behind. Viktor got up and dug his interview clothes out of the carry-on suitcase before starting to get dressed. He called the reception, making sure a taxi would be ready for him at 11:30 sharp and then turned to the large standing mirror to make sure his hair was in order. He seemed to have succeeded in keeping it mostly dry after all.
The hotel phone rang a few minutes later and the receptionist informed him that his ride was waiting for him. Viktor thanked her and made his way down to the lobby, thoughts still on a certain raven-haired man instead of the interview coming up.
Not that he needed to worry. The interview was fairly standard, questions about the upcoming season, his feelings about the competition and his training. Even for sports magazine standards, the interview was more boring than usual and Viktor soon had to make sure to suppress a yawn. He felt bad for the reporter, who seemed to be genuinely excited to ask him the same things he could read the answer for in at least 10 different other magazines.
After an exhausting hour, Viktor could finally leave. He liked being in Paris and made a mental note to take Yuuri here for a weekend break.
“Looking forward to seeing me that much, chéri ?” The sound of Chris’ voice behind him startled Viktor out of his thoughts. He turned around and looked at the swiss skater, who leaned against the wall easily, hips slightly canted in a seductive posture.
“Chris! I thought you wouldn’t be around until later?” Viktor said with a smile while leaning over and hugging Chris.
“What can I say, I’m full of surprises. I also thought you might be feeling lonely all alone in the city of love.” Chris said with a wink. Viktor wasn’t sure if he should groan or just be happy about his friend’s thoughtfulness. He had been lonely, even though being with Chris only eased that partly since he could never fill Yuuri’s absence.
Chris pushed himself off the wall gracefully and wrapped an arm around Viktor’s shoulder, grinning at him.
“Let’s have some fun, I’m all yours for the day, darling.”
*********************************
Viktor closed the hotel door behind him with a soft ‘click’ and threw his shirt on one of the chairs in the room. A smile played around the corner of his lips as he opened the browser on his phone and quickly browsed the aeroflot website, long familiar with all the twists and turns on it when booking a first-class flight.
It had taken all his willpower and a lot of nudging from Chris to not tell Yuuri he would be back earlier than expected. He wanted to surprise Yuuri with a nice dinner when he came home from training, couldn’t wait to see his fiancé’s face light up when he opened the door and found Viktor at home a day earlier than planned.
He had Chris to thank for that. Their day had started pleasant and light-hearted but the swiss skater had soon sensed Viktor’s uneasiness and had asked him about it. While reluctant at first, Viktor had told him about Yuuri’s expression before he left, as well as the unusual silence on the phone. All Chris had done then was pull out his phone and switched his interview spot the following day with Viktor’s own, which would have only taken place yet another day later. He could still hardly believe it if he was honest. He had almost crushed his friend with a fierce hug that Chris had just been happy to reciprocate.
After getting rid of the rest of his clothes, Viktor stretched lazily. He would still have to go through another boring interview the next day but the thought of being home, being with Yuuri, in the evening made him smile nonetheless. In less than 24 hours, Vikor would be where he belonged again.
A quick glance at the clock told him that it was now midnight. Yuuri would be deep asleep by now so Viktor decided to do the same, curling up in the blankets that were missing the calming smell of their mingled scents. Viktor closed his eyes, willing the smell to come to him. If he focused hard enough, he could feel Yuuri snugly curled against him, his back pressing against Viktor’s chest.
He loved holding Yuuri, loved the feeling of his soft hair against his face. The first time they had shared a bed, Yuuri had been tense and it had taken a lot of coaxing from Viktor before he finally relaxed and had fallen asleep. Now, Yuuri curled against Viktor instinctively, sighing contently when he did so. It never failed to make Viktor’s heart beat faster to have Yuuri nearby. But that also meant that he felt his absence even more.
Lost in his thoughts, Viktor managed to drift into light sleep eventually. He never slept very deeply when he was separated from Yuuri but this time the slight uneasiness he had felt ever since he had left made it even worse.
When he opened his eyes, it was only shortly after 3am. Viktor sat up and looked around the room, dread filling his chest. The room seemed fine and a look out of the window showed him that there didn’t seem to be any danger nearby. And yet Viktor couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was wrong. The more he tried to calm down, the more uneasy he became until he got up and started pacing the room.
He could feel it right under his skin, could feel his fingers tingling. He opened and closed his hands several time but the feeling never left them. It was an hour later in St. Petersburg, Yuuri would be sleeping, wouldn’t he? Viktor grabbed his phone and browsed his messages. The last message he had received from Yuuri had been a ‘good night’ right after they had hung up. The inconspicuous word was looking at him as if trying to mock him.
He couldn’t possibly call Yuuri and interrupt his sleep, he needed all his energy for the training ahead. And yet, Viktor’s grip around his phone tightened. 3:28 am, 4:28am in St. Petersburg. Viktor’s fingers almost moved on their own, opening the phone contacts and selecting Yuuri’s name as if he didn’t have him on speed-dial anyway. He stared at the number on his screen, minutes ticking by as the time moved closer towards 4am.
With an effort, Viktor managed to lock his phone again and threw it on the bed. He buried his face in his hands, leg tapping nervously on the soft carpet. He couldn’t help the feeling that something was wrong with Yuuri. Maybe he was having a stomach ache or over-trained and was now nursing his wound feet. Viktor knew Yuuri could handle these things even without him there. But a part of him kept thinking of Yuuri’s expression when he left and at the heavy silence on the phone. And just for a split second, Viktor could see Yuuri curled up on the bed, barely able to breathe.
He grabbed his phone again and pressed the speed-dial. He could deal with Yuuri’s annoyance if he woke him up, he didn’t care. What he couldn’t stand was the thought of Yuuri lying alone in their bed, fighting a panic attack all on his own while Viktor was sitting in his hotel room.
Once, twice, Viktor counted the rings of the phone, his body tensing more with every passing moment. The line connected with the telltale click but no reply came from the other wide.
“Yuuri?” Viktor asked, voice almost a whisper. He could hear soft breathing and a soft gasp.
“Vitya, it’s not even 4am, you should be sleeping?” Yuuri asked hesitantly, a slight shaking in his voice. Viktor wanted to hug him, hold him tight. He knew that Yuuri must have been crying, could hear the slight roughness of his throat from suppressed sobs and it made his throat tighten. He had failed Yuuri, hadn’t called when Yuuri needed him most. Viktor took a deep breath, pushing his regrets aside. What counted was that he was there for Yuuri now.
“Shhh, it’s alright, love.” Viktor said softly, making sure his voice sounded calm and steady, that it held him like he wished he could do with his arms. The trembling breath coming from Yuuri made his chest feel tighter.
“I miss you. I miss you, Vitya.” Yuuri choked out on the other end of the line and Viktor had to hold his own tears back. He should have never left or should have insisted that Yuuri came with him.
“I love you, I’ll be back tomorrow.” Viktor said, voice heavy with all the emotions that were threatening to spill out of him. He didn’t care for surprises anymore right now, all he wanted was for Yuuri to feel safe and the small hitch on the other end of the line told him that he was succeeding.
“But your interv-” he heard Yuuri say and hurried to make a soft shushing sound to interrupt his fiancé. A small smile played around his lips as he started again.
“The other magazines weren’t opposed to last minute rescheduling when a certain swiss skater decided he would unfortunately only be available a few days later. I managed to get a flight in the late afternoon so I’ll be with you in the evening.” Viktor finished, listening carefully to Yuuri’s reaction. He could hear him let out a deep breath he probably hadn’t noticed he was holding. When he closed his eyes, he could see Yuuri relaxing and it made him smile even more.
“I’ll pick you up at the airport.” came Yuuri’s reply and Viktor hummed in agreement. Soon he would be able to hold Yuuri in his arms again and never let him go.