Work Text:
There were a thousand things that Naruto Uzumaki hated about the boy called Sasuke Uchiha. He was arrogant, mean, popular with girls, talented, and he refused to acknowledge him. No matter how hard Naruto tried, Sasuke still managed to find a way to belittle him. Dismiss him. Just like everyone else.
Sasuke was always one step ahead of him, leaving him floundering in the dirt after him, trying to catch up and prove his worth. He always looked at him with those cold bottomless black eyes that said he hated deeply but also felt just as deeply, if not deeper. But what Naruto hated the most about Sasuke was the fact that he didn’t hate him. Couldn’t hate him. This was the most annoying thing of all, because as much as Naruto wanted to hate this boy who made him feel so useless, he couldn’t find it in himself to do so. There was just something so fundamentally familiar about Sasuke that stopped Naruto from hating him, and he knew what it was.
Sasuke was the same as him.
As unusual as this sounded, and as much as Sasuke denied it, Naruto knew it was true. Naruto had always known it was true. Everytime he caught sight of Sasuke, Naruto saw himself reflected in his eyes. Sad, frightened and most of all alone. Consumed by the worst and most painful loneliness, the kind that was enough to kill a person inside. Make their heart turn black and rot until there was nothing left. Naruto didn’t know why Sasuke always looked so alone when he was always surrounded by so many people, but he was, and that was good enough for him. They were the same even if Sasuke wouldn’t let himself acknowledge it.
Naruto Uzumaki hated that he didn’t hate Sasuke Uchiha.
What was even worse than the fact that Naruto didn’t hate Sasuke was that he thought he could actually learn to like him. When Naruto was feeling his worst, he could always look towards Sasuke for motivation and find it in himself to keep going, because he wouldn’t lose. Not to this boy who was the same as him. When he was at the playground by himself, lost in the depths of loneliness he would sometimes see Sasuke, appearing just as alone as he and that would be enough to yank him out of his depression. When he was particularly hungry from not having enough money to buy any food, he would encounter Sasuke training and realise he had bigger things to worry about and in that moment Sasuke’s determination would be enough to take his mind away from his empty stomach. And so Naruto thought that he could learn to like Sasuke Uchiha, for he had done more for Naruto than he would ever realise.
***
Sasuke Uchiha hated Naruto Uzumaki.
He hated him with all his being and then some. He hated his bubbly personality and his bright appearance. He hated his customary orange jumpsuit and his brilliantly blonde hair. Hated the fact that he never gave up and was always challenging him despite losing spectacularly every time. And most importantly he hated the fact that the boy was always smiling even though Sasuke could tell that he was in pain. Naruto Uzumaki was always in pain and Sasuke hated him for it. Hated the possibility that Naruto might understand him more than he gave him credit for. That he may be more than just the idiot he seemed. Hated the fact that he may share something in common with a dobe such as Naruto, and so Sasuke tried his best not to acknowledge him. There was no use letting Naruto think that he was worthwhile just because he may have a little understanding of what Sasuke was feeling.
And more than anything, Sasuke hated his enthusiasm and his optimism.
“I’m gonna be Hokage, believe it,” was a phrase Sasuke found his eardrums assaulted with frequently and he was sick of it. They both knew that someone as hated as Naruto— although he did not know why everyone hated him— would never become Hokage of the village. And so Sasuke did not understand why he insisted on striving towards something so unattainable. The one thing Sasuke despised most about Naruto Uzumaki was his insistence that they were friends, best friends even. This would never happen, because Sasuke was an Uchiha and Uchiha’s didn’t have feelings and they most certainly didn’t have friends.
And so yes, Sasuke Uchiha hated Naruto Uzumaki because he went against everything Sasuke stood for. He was joy where Sasuke was despair. He was light where Sasuke was darkness and he was love where Sasuke could see none. But most importantly he was beautiful in a way Sasuke could not comprehend, did not wish to comprehend and so he hated him. For what else could he do?
***
Uzumaki Naruto envied Sasuke Uchiha.
There was no other word for the burning ball of something that festered in his chest when he thought of him. A ball that tried to crush his spirit and deny him the joy he had worked had to gain. Some nights Naruto knew that envy came close to loathing and other times it leaned more towards idolising, but today as he stood tied to the log, he knew it was just plain envy.
He envied him for his strength. Although he had not obtained a bell from their new sensei, he had come the closest and as much as it pained his pride to admit it, he had done a much better job than Naruto’s own attempt.
He envied him because he lived the life Naruto dreamed about. A life where there was nothing but acceptance and love at every corner, for what was there not to love? The last living Uchiha, the pride of the village, the handsome bastard. Civilians loved him, girls loved him and most importantly Sakura-chan loved him.
That stung the most.
For some unknown reason, the fact that Sakura love Sasuke but hated him, made him want to both hate and be Sasuke, and not because of some made up crush he had on the girl. That was all childish confusion of wanting to be accepted with wanting to be loved. No. It was something other. Maybe because he saw in Sasuke everything he couldn't be and everything he was, so Sakura loving Sasuke drove home the daggers he already bore in his back. Cut deeper the scar his birth seemed to be on the world. Made him feel he could not be loved, feel like he did not deserve to be loved.
As Naruto stood there, the envy raging in his belly, burning white hot as it sometimes did, he vowed to take that envy and let it drive him to become better. For Sasuke Uchiha had always been his greatest motivator.
***
Sasuke Uchiha did not understand Uzumaki Naruto.
He was ashamed that he wished he did. He wanted to know what drove the blonde to such lengths, wanted to peer into his mind and understand the hyperactive demon a little better. See into his world a little closer, so that maybe he would understand, even just a little, what motivated him to chase after him time and time again. What force compelled him to act like a fool on his behalf, spout words of ignorance about friendship and loyalty each time they encountered each other. And most importantly say stupid things like he loved him. Love was a feeling he couldn't feel, didn't know how to. It was something he had grown accustomed to living without. It was a weakness that had been forcefully plucked out from within him without his consent. Itachi the diligent gardener and Sasuke’s emotions the weeds that needed removal.
He did not understand Naruto because each time he came after him, Sasuke hurt him, he made it clear he did not value their bond, nor did he want to return to Konoha and yet all this seemed not to matter to Naruto for he continued as though he had not heard a word of it.
He was stubborn, foolhardy and Sasuke grudgingly respected him for that.
Each time they clashed, both were left with a new scar marking the occasion, forever branded into their skin. Sasuke loved each new scar he made as they reminded him that he was an avenger, that he would not stop until he completed his mission. They showed that he would let nothing, not even friends, stand in the way of his progress. And yet for some reason he did not like the idea of Naruto bearing the same marks. The marred tissue tainting his otherwise perfectly golden skin. Obscuring his innocence and tainting him with Sasuke's darkness. For some reason the idea of a tainted Naruto left a bitter taste in his mouth. A lot of the feelings Naruto evoked in him were unexplainable and he thought it was better not understanding for understanding meant going down another road he was wholly unprepared for.
**
It was late afternoon and the sun was just beginning to disappear behind the Hokage monument, casting a dark orange glow against the legends depicted upon its surface. Naruto could just make out his own face amongst his childhood heroes. It had been a long day of paperwork, sparring and assigning genin teams. He could now understand the stress the old man had been under all the time but he was also beginning to realise that Team 7 must have been carefully thought out too. No good Hokage would leave such a thing to chance. No. Careful planning and scheming had gone into their team. The last Uchiha, a jinchuuriki who happened to be the son of the yellow flash and a civilian girl with the potential of a fire cracker. Such a team was not a whim assignment. Certain risks and gambles had to be taken and even now Naruto was not sure if they had payed off. If the monkey man had been right to pair them all together for there were still certain voids within each of them that their smiles and hugs and love could not fill. Sasuke still had nightmares where he woke up drenched in sweat and clutching for breath. What they were about he would never say. Sakura was still at times unable to see herself as anything other than the weak civilian girl she had once been, tormented and bullied despite now being one of the most feared Kunoichi. And he himself sometimes still drowned in unbearable loneliness and pain, feeling like that rejected kid all those years ago despite now being loved as the Hokage.
Even if their team had not been a success, some successes had still been had and as he turned on his side to gaze at the pale raven beside him he saw the hateful child who had been replaced by the only slightly less hateful adult and knew that he would always love him.
The feeling which had once been hate and then been envy had quickly become love, or maybe it had always been love and he just hadn't realised. Maybe that emptiness somewhere deep within him had always needed to be filled with the affection of one Sasuke Uchiha. Maybe there had never been an emptiness, just a missing part of his soul which had eventually found its way back to him in the form of a slightly less brooding man. Maybe he didn't know what he was talking about and maybe he did, either way, there was one thing he knew for certain and that was that he, Naruto Uzumaki, loved Sasuke Uchiha and he knew that Sasuke was learning to love him too.