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It was 12:23 in the morning. That’s what the tacky, flashing neon sign on the Stop & Slurp said. Janna didn’t really care about the time. She kicked the door open, rather than pushing it and stomped in, her muddy combat boots making a track of prints along the blinding hot-pink tiles.
“You’re gonna have to clean that up,” the clerk at the counter droned.
“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen,” Janna shot back, not even making eye contact with the clerk.
She scanned her gaze through the store, picking it apart piece by piece before settling on the decrepit slushie machine, grabbing two XXL!!! sized cups. Beside her, Jackie stood, leaning against the shiny aluminum counter.
Janna slammed the heavy plastic cups down, hitting two random buttons as the slush gushed out.
“C’mon, Jack,” Janna sighed. “You can’t be heartbroken over Diaz, of all people.”
“I’m not,” Jackie argued. “I’m just… weirded out, I guess.”
Janna huffed. “Yeah, I think we all are after what just happened,” she admitted. Then she paused, and noticed her friend’s mood. “And, y’know, you mostly, I guess.”
She hadn’t asked what was up on the walk over here.
She just said, “You, me, slushies. Let’s go. You need it.”
The walk from Diaz’s house to here had been dead quiet. Which was weird for them. And Janna knew weird. That was… beyond weird, actually. She couldn’t think of a time Jackie wasn’t bubbly and willing to talk about everything under the sun.
Janna capped the slushies and shoved two straws in her pocket before heading to the counter.
“That’s 3.74,” the cashier said dully.
“Put it on the tab of Marco Diaz,” she said, before nodding towards the door and shuffling her way out.
Jackie lingered, then sighed, pulling a crumpled five out from her shorts and dropping it on the counter. “Keep the change,” she sighed.
The bright lights— all of them different shades of neon, her favorite colors draped over her like a blanket. She swallowed hard, not sure if she wanted to cry, scream or just stand there, frozen and confused by the state of things.
She wasn’t angry.
She wasn’t sad.
She was… numb.
“Yo, Jack!” Janna whooped, with no regard for the time whatsoever.
Jackie sighed, heading to the edge of the curb where her best friend sat and plopping herself down on the hard concrete.
“Cherry coke or blue raspberry?” Janna offered.
“Is that even a question?” Jackie sighed, taking the blue slushie and stabbing a straw through the top, taking a long sip.
“What did Diaz say to you anyway?” Janna said, as she stuck her straw in between her lips as if it were a cigarette.
Jackie shrugged. “He said he needed time,” she said, trying not to sound pitiful. “And I asked him how much. He said he didn’t know. I… I told him we should just call it quits, anyway. It’d be too weird for us— on us. Y’know. That us.”
Janna nodded like she was a philosopher.
Yet what she said was not exactly deep or meaningful; “Well, that sucks.”
“Yeah,” Jackie replied, a rueful laugh coming out before she took a tiny sip of her slushie. “No kidding.”
“Aw, c’mon, Jack,” Janna sighed. “Seriously. You guys were kinda cute. For, like, the three weeks you were together,” She noticed her best friend roll her eyes and winced. “Okay, still tender. Got it. But I mean, there’s plenty of other dudes.”
“I know that. And it’s not even Marco that hurts. It’s just what happened,” Jackie admitted.
Janna paused, stabbing the top of her slushie with the straw and taking a long sip until she winced from the cold burn. “You mean him dumping you?” she said, trying to keep her teeth from chattering.
“No. Yes. Kinda,” Jackie groaned, running a hand through her hair. “It’s just every guy I get close to, he leaves or turns out to be a dick or moves away or whatever. For once, I wish things would go right,” She stared up at the streetlight, watching a pair of moths fly too close. “You know at the sleepover, when I mentioned I had a crush on a guy at skate camp?”
“Yeah,” Janna mumbled, picking up a pebble and throwing it at a pair of sneakers hung from the telephone lines.
“He wasn’t a crush,” Jackie sighed. “He was my boyfriend. Who broke up with me.”
Janna paused, then looked at her best friend, shocked. “You never told me that,” she mumbled.
Jackie scoffed. “The whole reason he broke up with me was because he thought my older sister was hotter,” she muttered. “Dumbass thought he had a chance with her,” She paused, then bit her lip. “You can laugh if you want. It’s kind of dumb.”
“Okay, you seriously should have told me,” Janna declared. “I could have set him straight. You’re the hot sister.”
“Thanks?” Jackie chuckled. “But anyway, yeah, my dating history sucks. You remember Elijah in the eighth grade—”
“He deserved that swirlie and every minute of detention I got was worth it,”
“Zion last summer,”
“I think I still have his wallet somewhere,”
“Justin was such a mistake,”
“He was too stupid to steal from,” Janna muttered, staring into her drink before looking up and smiling like the Cheshire Cat. “That’s why it was so hilarious when I put itching powder in his jockstrap,”
“And now Marco,” Jackie sighed. She paused, then slightly glared at the other girl. “Leave him alone. He’s different.”
Janna frowned. “Then what do I do with these house keys?” she pouted, twirling a pair of keys that had a silver ‘ M ’ charm on the chain. “Guess I’ll give ‘em to my cat. Scratchy loves shiny toys,” She shoved the keys back into her pocket. “Anyway, don’t beat yourself about it, dude. We’re fourteen, we don’t have to meet Mr. Right now.”
Jackie idly bit the straw of her drink and shrugged. “I’m not looking for that. Just for looking someone to treat me right. For a little while,”
“Gag,” Janna teased, lightly punching the other girl in the arm. “That’s disgusting, dude.”
“Oh, so I’m the gross one, but you’re not— even though you ate a pancake off the ground that one time?” Jackie playfully shot back.
“Hey, I got five bucks out of it,” Janna defended.
“Whatever!” Jackie laughed, putting her drink down and leaning back on her hands.
The sky was hard to see amidst the bright lights of Echo Creek, but the colors of navy blue and almost-but-not-quite black were plain to see. She sighed, still feeling that sticky, stubborn sadness somewhere in her heart. But despite it all, a smile was on her face.
“Hey, Jan?”
“Yeah?” At least, that’s what it sounded like. Janna was chugging her slushie and glancing over to her friend at the same time, so that’s what Jackie assumed.
She rolled her eyes a little, amused, then smiled. “Thanks. I needed this,”
“No problem,” Janna gasped out once the last bits of her slushie spilled onto the road. She paused, wiping away the sticky, soda-like residue from her cheek. “So, uh, you wanna go do anything?”
“It’s kinda late,” Jackie mumbled.
“Clearly, you do not know me that well—”
“We’re not sneaking into a bar,”
Janna scoffed. “Pfft, that’s what a normal teenager would do,” she declared. “But, like, not being a normal teenager is my thing.” There was a pause, perhaps for dramatic effect, before she asked; “How do you feel about breaking into the library?”
Jackie paused, then laughed. “Who breaks into a library?” she retorted. “Why would you even want to? There’s nothing for you to steal.”
Janna bestowed a foxy grin. “Exactly. It’s the only place I can break into and not get in trouble,” She hoisted herself up, teetering on the edge of the curb. “Think about it, all night— well, the rest of the morning, I guess. We can read whatever we want, whenever we want until nine. That’s when they open.”
“Is that where you find the time to read that John Keats guy?” Jackie asked.
“Him, and my good friend Mary Shelley, and that asshole Shakespeare,” Janna admitted, with a shrug. “I dumped Edgar Allen. He was too basic. Sometimes Jane Austen joins the party.”
Sitting up beside her friend, Jackie shook her head. “You’re something else, Jan,”
“That’s a new one,” Janna mused. “No one’s ever said that before.”
Jackie paused, standing up and accidentally knocking over her slushie on the way up. She swore under her breath, stepping away from the sticky residue, ignoring Janna’s laugh.
“I’m something else, you’re a romantic klutz, we’re perfect,” she joked.
“Yeah, okay,” Jackie mumbled, not sure why she bit her lip or blushed. “So how are we getting to the library? It’s halfway across town.”
Janna threw the slushie over her shoulder, expertly getting it into the nearby can underneath the light.
“Watch the professional, Jack,” she said, before stepping out into the road and sticking out her thumb.
By some hilarious timing from the universe, a public transit bus rolled down the block, skidding to a stop right in front of Janna. She smirked and playfully kicked the bumper; causing the frizzy-haired driver to stick her head out.
“Hey, you nut, you break it, you buy it!”
Despite going around Janna, the door creaked open and she ran after the bus.
“Hey, Stevie,” Janna said, clutching the rail before hopping on. “39th and 4th? You stopping by?”
“Get your friend to catch up and I just might,” the driver mumbled, popping her gum obnoxiously loud. She revved the engine slightly, and laughed, almost mocking the two younger girls.
Jackie had been following the whole time, her steps turning into strides and she reached out a few times, just barely missing Janna’s hand— once, twice— before the bus had to stop at a red light. The traffic light illuminated Janna perfectly and she smiled, holding her hand out.
“All aboard,” she said, her husky voice vibrating with a chuckle.
Jackie took Janna’s hand, fingers locked for grip, and hopped up onto the bus, letting them whiz off into the night once the light switched green.
~ ~ ~
“Seriously, loosen up,” Janna said as they climbed up the mossy hill that led to the Echo Creek Local Library. “No one’s gonna care. Javier knows I come here almost every night and he hasn’t ratted me out to the fuzz once.”
“Still,” Jackie argued. “It’s breaking in,”
“You’re friends with me, Jacqueline—”
“Oh, I hate you,”
“No you don’t,”
Janna pushed a rather large rock to the side, revealing an open window near the ground. “Basement window’s been stuck open for years. Isn’t breaking in if they leave an entrance,” she grinned, falling to her knees before diving head first in.
Jackie hesitated before Janna’s hands shot out and curled slightly, like they were beckoning her inside.
“Fine,” Jackie muttered, bending down and grabbing her best friend’s hands, getting herself yanked into the musty, cold library.
“Bonus? They keep the air going 24/7,” Janna grinned. “And voila.”
The basement was strangely calm. The soft humming of the air conditioner, the cool, steel racks that held books old and new, and the serenity of just… being alone.
“Where do we start?” Jackie asked. “You are the expert here.”
“Why thank you for thinking that,” Janna smiled. “I like to start with the classics, and no one usually comes down here, so I can organize things my way. But feel free to explore. The night is young, Jack, and so are we.”
And with that said, she disappeared into the tall, grey stacks, her silhouette stopping, going, stopping, going, as she skimmed the shelves. Jackie knew she was awkwardly standing there, and for a moment, that was all she did.
She slumped up against the cold, brick wall and slid to the floor. It had been a weird night.
Not wild, but weird. Pure weird. And not crazy weird. Just… normal weird.
Normal life weird.
For a moment, Jackie was grateful that was the only weird she had going for her. Marco, on the other hand— she didn’t really want to think of him. But how could she not? She had sort of grown fond of him, as fond as one could become of someone else over the course of a few weeks, anyway. He was nice, and sweet, and charming—
—but he was just a guy.
Another guy.
She breathed deep and managed a smile.
She’d get over it. She’d still be his friend…
Speaking of friends—
“You think I should burn all copies of Romeo and Juliet?” Janna hollered from somewhere in the stacks. “Ugh, everytime I throw one out, they keep replacing it! Why?!”
Jackie hoisted herself up, zigzagging through the odd setup. “Not a big romance fan?” she asked.
Janna groaned. “ That is not romance!” she said exasperatedly. The sound of books flying and falling was heard for a moment and Jackie looked around, until her gaze went up and she noticed Janna’s beanie peeking up from the top.
“Someone fucked up my system!” Janna added. “Dammit, Javier!”
Jackie smiled as she rounded the corner, watching Janna teeter back and forth on a rickety step stool, skimming titles.
“Find anything good?” she asked before sitting back down and catching a few books that had fallen.
“Nope,” Janna said— yelping when one of the shelves gave out.
With it, the entire shelf of paperbacks fluttered to the floor and she swore under her breath.
She hopped down from the stepstool, crouching down to gather up the books. She haphazardly shoved them back on the shelves, with no regard for organization.
Of course.
Typical Janna.
Jackie couldn’t help but smirk and laugh gently, watching her best friend with a soft gaze.
“Have you read anything by this author?” Janna snorted, holding up one of the books. “God, she’s so damn pretentious. And all of her books have, like, the same plotline, it’s annoying,” She huffed, then gave a tiny smirk. “I like romance as much as the next girl but if it’s cliche on top of cliche, nah ,”
“I’ve read that one, actually,” Jackie mused, pointing to the book in Janna’s hand.
Last Summer.
Like the title was taunting her. This was the last summer she’d bother taking a chance on love. Summer love was a stupid fad. Or at least, that’s what Jackie thought until she looked up and saw Janna’s twitching grin and bright amber eyes.
“Smart girl,” Janna chuckled. “Y’know, I could recommend you something—”
She was cut off, by herself, into soft mumbling stammers.
Jackie didn’t know what she saw doing but her hands had somehow found themselves idly playing with the collar of Janna’s cardigan. Those hands traveled up to her chin, her jaw—
—had they been this close the whole time?
Jackie closed the space between them with a kiss, of all things.
And her first thought when their lips connected?
Janna was soft. Everything about her was surprisingly soft, oh, gosh .
Jackie smelled scents similar to the tacky cologne on guys but also a hint of something sweet. Maybe some ash too. That fit Janna perfectly, for some reason. Her lips were a little chap, a little too sweet from the slushie, but that was okay. Jackie’s hands kept travelling up so they could play with unevenly cut raven waves, she’d probably mess with the oh-so-perfect angle of Janna’s beanie yet she didn’t care.
On the other end of the spectrum… Janna just sat there, smiling amidst the kiss and she chuckled when they pulled away.
“That was good,” she mused. “Like really damn good. I liked it.”
“I, uh, I thought you liked John Keats,” Jackie said, almost cheekily so.
“He can’t return my texts, dummy,” Janna chuckled. “But you totally could,” Her fingers traced the other girl’s jaw line, just below the dusting of freckles. “Um, y’know. Only if you want to,”
Jackie’s smile was melancholic. “I don’t really know what I want, Jan,” she admitted. “Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” Janna surprised herself at how soft her tone of voice was. “Yeah. Totally okay.”
“Are you gay?” Jackie blurted out.
“What?” Janna spluttered.
Jackie groaned, leaning into the other girl slightly. “Dumb way to ask that, but, like, I… I dunno, you’ve never really been boycrazy. Like, ever. And I’ve known you since we were five years old and you sacrificed my Malibu Barbie in the sandbox to those weird spirits you made up,” she mumbled. “And now we kissed—”
“You kissed me,” Janna rebuked.
“You could have stopped me,” Jackie argued.
Janna nodded slowly, as if to say ‘ you’re not wrong ’ and a heavy sigh escaped her. “I kinda just, like whatever, y’know?” she admitted. “Dead poets. Monster arms. Demon guys. You.”
Jackie swallowed hard. “You like me?” she whispered.
Janna paused, taking in what she had just said. “I… I guess,” she mumbled. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Gay. Are you? I mean, you're usually into guys, but y'know.”
A moment paused before Jackie breathed deep, gently pulling away from Janna so she could lean back against the bookshelves, staring up at the popcorn ceiling of the library. “I don’t know,” she breathed out. “I guess I just want someone to love me. That’s why I’m so upset about what happened with Marco. I… I’m just human. That’s what I am.”
“I get that,” Janna mumbled.
The clock on the wall read 2:45 am. It hadn’t felt like they had been out this long.
“We should get you home,” Janna spoke up. “Your ‘rents give you a curfew?”
“Mom just says to come home alive and in one piece, Dad probably didn’t even notice I was gone,” Jackie said, with a soft laugh.
Janna stood up, offering her hand out and Jackie took it hesitantly, squeezing slightly before she was hoisted up. They ended up being only inches apart, as if fate was tempting them to sway back together. They were close. A little too close.
“Let’s go,” Janna spoke up. “Last bus of the night runs at three o'clock sharp.”
They left their mess behind, and Janna kicked over a stepstool, giving Jackie a bit of a boost as she shuffled out into the night. Janna was just about to follow suit until something made her stop.
“Wait,” she hissed. “Just… gimme a minute. Wait out there,”
She scattered away from the window and headed back to the stacks. There were a few stray pens and markers lying on a nearby table, and Janna blindly grabbed the first one she saw. And right there, on the side of the closest shelf, she scribbled a little doodle.
An upside down heart.
J + J-L
“Jan?” Jackie spoke up, just loud enough for Janna to hear in the dead of the night.
“One sec!” Janna hissed, dropping the marker and heading back to the window. She took a tiny leap and then rolled out onto the grass, a slight ‘ oof ’ escaping her as she landed.
“What was that about?” Jackie asked.
Janna shrugged. “That’s for me to know and you to find out if you ever come back here,” she said confidently before hopping up to her feet. “Now let’s see if Stevie’s still cruising.”
~ ~ ~
Unfortunately, the buses had stopped and Janna’s hitchhiking luck died. The two girls were stuck walking the streets of Echo Creek late into the night. They didn’t talk much, once again, but this time, it felt… different. A sweet sort of quiet, as opposed to earlier’s solemn silence.
And when they started holding hands, neither of them really knew.
“Hey, look,” Jackie spoke up, pointing past the streetlights and up into the black sky. “I think I saw a flying star.”
“I think that was a plane,” Janna mused.
“Let’s just say it was a star, okay?” Jackie said. “Wish for something. You first.”
“I wish for the heat death of the universe,” Janna deadpanned, seeming serious for a whole five seconds before she broke out into a smirk. “Nah, just kidding! I’m not wishing for anything. I don’t believe in that crock. I might be witchy, but not that far gone.”
Jackie rolled her eyes, smirking a little. “Well, sucks to be you, because even if that was your wish, it wouldn’t have come true,”
“There you go being gross again,” Janna sighed.
“As for my wish—”
“Please don’t wish for a boyfriend,”
Jackie blushed. That was close. She wished for a form of love. Anything. Anywhere— from deep down in her own soul, or from a stranger… even the girl she was holding hands with now. That’d be just fine.
“I didn’t,” she assured once they hit the corner of the block. “Well, this is me.”
“This is you,” Janna echoed, her voice soft before she smiled. “Good night, Jack. I had fun. We should do this again sometime,”
Jackie nodded— like she meant it.
And she did.
“We should,” she assured. “Good night, Jan.”
Letting go of Janna’s hand felt like losing the last piece of the puzzle. Jackie tried not to frown as she came to that realization, but she kept her smile nonetheless and headed down the cobblestone walkway that led to her house.
Janna instantly turned and ran across the street, but something made her stop once she hit the sidewalk.
She was smiling from ear to ear but she also felt like she was drowning, not taking in enough air—
—it kinda felt awesome.
Until a heavy breath finally made it’s way out and she slumped over, hands on her knees and beanie sliding towards her forehead. It was adrenaline catching up to her, yeah. Telling her that she was the one who had to head home next, to get some rest and get prepared for summer.
Summer.
How sticky and sweet it was.
Sweet.
That word stuck to Janna’s mind like the humid air and she thought for a moment before she stood up properly, looking up and down the block warily.
“The last of your kisses was the sweetest,” Janna recited. “The last smile, the brightest, and the last movement, the gracefullest,” She bit her lip, eyes darting up to the pitch black sky, squinting through the streetlights, before another quote came to mind. “Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter.”
It read better than it sounded.
Reading it made Janna feel alive, electric, hopeful. Saying them out loud, now, seemed melancholy.
She looked back, at the Thomas household, a perfect little blue bungalow. And then up, to the only lit window, where Jackie stood, smiling— like she was waiting for Janna to leave.
Janna gave a two finger salute. Jackie smiled and gave a tiny wave.
It was 3:46 am, according to Janna’s phone that lit up with a text.
J-Lynn : thx xx
Jackie’s groovy lime green blinds fell down. The lights went out. It was 3:47 am and Janna didn’t know how to feel.