Work Text:
It was nostalgic and refreshing at the same time
Full of unspoken feelings that peaked on the horizon
Words that danced off the lips but never quite spoken
For fear that the world would crumble at my feet
If you really knew how I felt ~
i.
Bambam never really believed in real love. He was a romantic, that was for sure, but more in the books and films kind of way, where love was etherial and always reciprocated. Deep down bambam knew real life didn't work that way. Real life love was complicated, full of exclamation and question marks, full of unfinished sentences, ungrammatical thoughts and stolen kisses. Lies, deceit, compromise. That wasn't the kind of love bambam liked, but it was the kind of love he seemed stuck in. The kind where your heart seemed to shatter into a million little pieces every single day, but there was always a little voice of hope screaming in your head that maybe, just maybe, your love would be reciprocated.
ii.
The day had been one of Bambam's favourite kind; warm and summery, where the sky seemed to be indulged in radiant blue hues that never seemed to end. It was around 6pm, the sunshine becoming softer as it seeped through to partially closed curtains, streaming enough to illuminate Bambam on his bed.
The boy lived in an apartment with 3 others; Mark, the oldest of the four, who was a senior at college; Jackson, Mark's roommate and on again off again boyfriend, although Bambam could often hear their secret shenanigans late into the night due to the thin walls in the apartment; and Yugyeom, Bambam's partner in crime, roommate and best friend wrapped into one, with a little side dose of I have butterflies in my stomach whenever I'm near you. The four boys were different; Bambam was a fashion business major, Yugyeom a dance major, Jackson a languages and communications major and Mark majoring in Expressive Arts and teaching. Yet all four boys had met and clicked instantly, choosing to room together for Mark and Jackson's last year of college. Bambam hoped that after they graduated they could still live with him and Yugyeom, because there was nothing more he loved than the advice, and general teasing his hyungs provided him with. It was endearing and sweet, but also incredibly domesticated, and it made Bambam feel a little less homesick when Yugyeom went home for the holidays.
Bambam typed furiously into his laptop keys as he attempted to finish a performance review. As a university student, Bambam was attempting to be a responsible (almost) adult, determined to finish his essay before the deadline, rather than having a mad rush last minute. The last time he had done that, the internet had crashed, and it left him with some serious grovelling and a sandwich (one which Bambam would never think about again, shuddering at the thought) that enabled him to submit his essay on time and not be penalised for being slightly late.
Attempted being the main word.
He sighed, collapsing backwards onto the pillows of his bed, before taking his glasses off and deciding to nap for a few minutes. Summer days were meant for romances and sleep, not essays. Bambam was too much of a romantic sometimes for his own good. He laid down, eyes finally finding some relief. However, his few minutes of bliss were rudely interrupted as a certain raven haired boy entered the room, with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.
"Oh Bammie good you're awake!" Yugyeom chimed.
Bambam peeled one eye open giving him a disapproving look.
"Which part of me even looked remotely awake?" Bambam sighed, sitting up again. His eyes followed Yugyeom as he shuffled around the room, assembling different clothing garments on his bed.
"I need advice on what to wear tonight," Yugyeom looked at Bambam with puppy dog eyes. The older resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
"And you need my advice because..?" It was hard for Bambam to hide the slight bitterness in his tone, the fact that Yugyeom had a date with someone that wasn't him (not that they had ever been on a date) made his stomach churn uncomfortably. Yugyeom seemed oblivious to Bambam.
"Because you have the best fashion taste in all of the university?" Yugyeom tried his luck, using his puppy dog eye trick on him. Evil maknae, Bambam thought, narrowing his eyes.
"Although I'm not that easy, I'll take the compliment." Bambam sassed, walking towards the other boy's bed and plonking down on it. He examined the clothes.
"Switch the turtleneck for a chunky knit sweater. Those look cute on you." Bambam replied nonchalantly.
"Ahh, I love you Bammie, I could kiss you right now!" Yugyeom chimed, as he switched the clothes and followed his best friend's advice.
If only, Bambam thought to himself. If there was any luck in the world, Bambam certainly didn't have any as he watched his completely straight best friend get ready for a date with a girl he had been texting non stop since last week. Bambam could only hope that the date went horribly wrong and Yugyeom would never see the girl again. Maybe it would end in the girl slapping Yugyeom, or better yet, punching him, and never wanting to see him again. And then Bambam, being the knight in shining armour he always was, would sweep in and Yugyeom would magically fall in love with him. Bambam internally scoffed at the thought. Maybe if he went on a date too, he could forget about stupid Yugyeom and his stupid beauty mark under his eye and his stupidly perfect cheekbones and his stupidly endearingly perfect bashful nature.
Yugyeom re-emerged into Bambam's view, fully clothed and combing through this slightly damp hair.
"Gyeom, would it kill you to trim your bangs a little?" Bambam noted. The younger's fringe fell to just a little below his eyes, and it drove Bambam insane that he couldn't see his pretty brown eyes.
"I knowwww," Yugyeom whined. "I just haven't had time," Yugyeom sighed.
"Come here," Bam pointed to the point on the bed next to him and the younger obliged. Bambam found some scissors, not exactly hairdressers scissors but they would have to do, and began cutting Yugyeom's bangs. Bambam put his glasses back on, his eyesight really was getting worse, and continued to trim little parts off until Yugyeom's eyes were fully visible.
He tried to ignore how close they were sitting, how he could feel Yugyeom's hot breath across his face. He leaned back a little, admitting his masterpiece. The temptation to lean back in and place a kiss on Yugyeom's undeniably cute beauty spot under his eye was unbearable. Yet still, Bambam persevered.
Although he and Yugyeom could never be together in that way, he would always love his best friend from afar, even if that meant trimming his bangs to picking out his clothes. They were little gestures but to Bambam they meant everything. He would love Yugyeom in every way he could. Even if that meant he had to be his best man at a wedding that wasn't his because the bride made Yugyeom happy, he would. Bambam loved Yugyeom that much, that he was willing to let his own heart break into little pieces just to his best friend would be happy.
Yugyeom looked into the mirror.
"Bambam it's great! You're the best!" Yugyeom smiled gleefully, like a small child.
"Glad I could help," Bambam smiled as the taller boy engulfed him in a bear hug.
"I love you," Yugyeom mused. Bambam tried to ignore his erratically beating heart. It meant nothing, he told himself time and time again. Yugyeom was always telling Bambam he loved him, there was no pattern, no reason, he just said it when he felt like it. Bambam internally screamed that when those three deadly words left his lips, they meant something entirely different.
"Yeah, yeah, I love you too. Now go for your date. And be back before curfew!"
"I will." Yugyeom smiled, planting a quick kiss on Bambam's cheek before leaving out the door.
Bambam tried to ignore the tingling feeling on his cheek.
iii.
That night, Bambam listened to Yugyeom gush about his date, and how he was sure he had found the perfect one and how he hoped she and Bambam would get along so he could take her shopping so Yugyeom wouldn't need to. From his bed, at one in the morning, Bambam could see the eerie glow in the room, lit up by Yugyeom's phone as he texted his date. Bambam finally let a single tear fall down his face, turning over so his back was to Yugyeom, placing a hand over his mouth to hide the sobs.
iv.
It seemed to be going okay. Bambam had convinced himself that he was going to be okay, it was all going to be okay. Yugyeom was happy, he woke up every morning smiling and bounding around the room, and bambam would be lying if he said it wasn't infectious. But things started going downhill again when Yugyeom told him he wanted to make her his girlfriend. Saying her name made Bambam feel sick. Kia. It was like venom on Bambam's tongue. And the worst thing was that Bambam couldn't even hate her. He tried and he tried, but when Yugyeom introduced Bambam to her as "his partner in crime, other half and bestest friend in the whole world", Kia had come to him with open arms, holding him in what Bambam considered to be the longest five seconds of his life. And when she went home, Yugyeom seemed scared Bambam didn't approve.
"You don't like her, do you?" Yugyeom sighed that night.
"Why would you say that?" Bambam asked.
"Bammie, I'm not stupid. You are literally the friendliest person I have ever met. It's almost like you weren't there. I need you to like her Bambam, I need you to be happy for me." Yugyeom's faced scrunched up to one of worry and angst that it took every ounce of Bambam's being to not run over then and kiss his face until the creases went away.
"I am happy for you." Bambam opted for instead, placing a hand on Yugyeom's cheek, before promptly leaving the boy in the darkness, confused and saddened.
v.
Yugyeom was scared. Scared of losing Bambam because he was spending so much time with Kia. Bambam seemed to be avoiding him, going to sleep after Yugyeom had and waking up before him.
"Where's Bambam?" Yugyeom wondered the next morning, hair sticking in odd angles as he prodded into the kitchen, to be met with a rather awake and happy looking Mark, sipping on his coffee.
"Thailand. He went back to see his family." Mark responded.
"What? He didn't tell me he was going to Thailand?" Yugyeom felt slightly offended. He told everything to Bambam first, he thought he did the same.
More so, Yugyeom felt worried. Bambam hadn't gone back home in a little over a year now, mainly because it was several time zones away and plane tickets were expensive for a college student that just about got by working in a cafe.
"He told everyone at dinner yesterday. You were too busy texting Kia on your phone to notice," Mark jabbed his ribs playfully, but Yugyeom couldn't help but feel guilty.
"Oh." Was all he said. Mark sighed.
"Listen. I think you should talk to Bambam. Maybe he's upset because you guys don't spend time together anymore or whatever, but I really think you guys need to talk. Or like, spend the day together. You guys are a pair, a unit, and honestly, whatever happened, it's affecting you both. I never see you guys together anymore, Bambam's always clinging to Jackson, which honestly I don't mind but it gets a little awkward when Jackson and I, you know, wanna Netflix and chill."
"Ewwwww" Yugyeom joked, before Mark laughed angelically. But the mood returned soon after, and Mark's words had an impact on Yugyeom's falling smile.
Mark smiled apologetically, before seeing himself out of the kitchen.
Yugyeom sulked in his chair, eating his coco-puffs sadly. He and Bambam didn't fight. This wasn't like them to go distant. He decided to take Mark's advice and literally attacked Bambam as soon as he returned back to the dorm.
"Bammie!!!!" Yugyeom screamed, attacking Bambam in a hug when he came thought the door.
"Hi to you too," Bambam laughed.
"He's been waiting at the door for you since you left, like a lost puppy." Jackson noted as he walked past, looking fondly at the two maknaes. Bambam smiled proudly.
"I was thinking. How about we spend the whole day together? Just you and me?" Yugyeom asked.
"No Kia?" Bambam joked, as he placed his bag down on his bed.
"No Kia." Yugyeom stated seriously. "So what do you say?" He asked.
"Okay," Bambam agreed, smiling.
vi.
Bambam would be lying if he said he wasn't treating this like a date. At least, in his head. Yugyeom had taken him shopping, and had even sat in the dressing room and approved all of Bambam's outfit changes, and boy did he pick a lot of outfits to see how long Yugyeom would last.
But he didn't complain at all.
After shopping, they headed out to dinner, and then had a movie afterwards, Yugyeom graciously paying for it all. Bambam would also be lying if he said he wasn't buzzing from spending the entire day wth Yuygyeom. He sighed internally as the clock ticked later and later, knowing eventually the day would end, and things would go back to the way they were.
That night, Bambam and Yugyeom stayed up in Yugyeom's bed, watching cheesy dramas and talking about life. Around 2 in the morning, the subject Bambam had been dreading all day eventually found its way into their conversation.
"Bambam?"
"Hmm" Bambam half answered, half answering and sleep was beginning to consume him as he laid against Yugyeom's shoulder.
"Can I ask you something? Don't think I'm weird okay?" Yugyeom proceeded.
Bambam smiled into his shoulder.
"I won't. Ask me what you want, Gyeom." He smiled sleepily. Yugyeom stared at Bambam for a second, he always liked this side of Bambam. No makeup, simply wearing an oversized t-shirt and shorts, all sleep smiles and little giggles. It made Yugyeom feel secure, safe.
The air stilled for a minute, before Yugyeom continued to speak.
"You know how we have like known eachother since we were 14 right?" Bambam smiled; it was true, they had met in middle school and had been inseparable ever since. The fact that they ended up at the same university was a blessing and curse in disguise, mainly because Bambam couldn't live without him and it scared him a little.
Yugyeom proceeded.
"Well obviously you've known about all my relationships since then, but I feel like this is my first, like, proper one. And well...Anyways, what if I'm not good for Kia?"
"What do you mean?" Bambam asked. Yugyeom fiddled with the blanket as he spoke. "Could you, maybe, kiss me? Just like, tell me what to improve," Yugyeom asked.
"What?" Bambam deadpanned.
"I mean, like, I haven't kissed someone properly in a really long time. Little kisses are fine, but I mean like properly." Yugyeom's voice trailed off as he hid beneath the blanket, probably blushing. Bambam smiled lazily at the thought.
Bambam had to admit, this is not how he imagined this moment to go. Bambam had always imagined Yugyeom confessing his love for him like in the cheesy dramas the boy consumed.
"What dude? No. I'm not going to make out with you." Bambam took the safe option. He didn't know what he would do, and if he would regret it.
"Oh come on, please! I would do it for you! It wouldn't mean anything, just like a kiss between bros."
"I'm pretty sure that makes it worse," Bambam pointed out.
"Please?" Yugyeom asked. Bambam rolled his eyes.
Bambam exaggeratedly sighed, like this was the most problematic thing he had ever been asked to do in his life.
"Fine. Wow me." He teased.
Yugyeom turned to face him, eyes closed as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Bambam's. After a second, he pulled away. Bambam opened his eyes after a few seconds, expectant.
"That's it?" He ridiculed. "How do you expect me to assess your kissing skills when your game is that weak?"
"Yah! My game is not weak!"
"Really? Let me educate you, oh young one, on what a kiss really is," Bambam suggested.
"You're only a couple months older than me," Yugyeom noted.
"Shh. You're ruining the mood."
Considering this was probably the only chance Bambam was going to get, he was going to exploit it to the fullest.
He climbed over Yugyeom, straddling him, before leaning down and kissing him. He started off slow, giving Yugyeom a second to adjust, and was overjoyed when Yugyeom began to kiss him back.
Bambam deepened the kiss, licking and pulling softly on Yugyeom's bottom lip, earning a soft moan from the younger. Bambam internally praised himself for getting Yugyeom to moan for him. Because of him. But when Bambam went to pull away, he was surprised when the pale boy underneath him chased his lips, hand securely around the back of his neck and he lowered his lips to meet Yugyeom's own once again, slow and lazy.
The kisses became more hot, more feverish, as Bambam knotted his hands in Yugyeom's hair and the younger grabbed his hips, fingernails digging into his sides as Bambam's shirt rode upwards. Yugyeom' hands traced Bambam's ribs, earning a shiver from the slightly shorter boy. Bambam's kisses became more sloppy, especially when he felt a certain heat rising from the younger's crotch just below his, as Yugyeom's grip tightened.
"Mm- Bam," Yugyeom was cut off as Bambam feverishly moved off his lips and began sucking and kissing down his neck.
Although carefully not to leave a hickey on Yugyeom's neck, he wanted to claim what was his, leaving mark after mark down Yugyeom's chest, further and further down as he lightly grinded against Yugyeom's crotch, making the younger moan involuntarily as his breathing hitched and he became harder under Bam. This, this is what Bambam had imagined so many times, watching Yugyeom become undone beneath him.
"Ah-Bam. Fuck. You're so hot." Yugyeom moaned under the older, nails digging further into the boy. He flipped the two of them over, returning the favour as he placed hickey after hickey down Bambam's neck, chest, and abdomen, any space he could find really. But Bambam wanted to please the younger, flipping them back over until he was back on top and in charge.
"Fuck. Bambam-stop," Yugyeom moaned. And then after a few seconds, "Bambam. No. Stop. This is wrong." Yugyeom repeated, this time harsher.
Bambam stopped immediately, Yugyeom's words rushing to his head like blood. This is wrong. This is wrong. What was so wrong about falling in love with your best friend? Bambam climbed off him, off the bed, facial expression hard, like he was unbothered.
"You wanted a kiss. I showed you one." He stated in monotone, before leaving the room, slamming the door shut.
Once away from Yugyeom in the living room, Bambam couldn't help but let the tears run down his face. He sat with his back against the sofa, knees to chest and silently sobbed. This is wrong. Bambam regretted what they had done. Now that he had seen this other side of Yugyeom, he craved more. But he could never get more, and he had to accept that. He continued to cry, his whole body shaking, until he eventually fell asleep on the floor.
vii.
Maybe it was what had happened the night before, or maybe it was just general feelings that had been maintained beneath the surface for so long and were threatening to spill out, but both boys avoided each other like the plague after that incident. Bambam was never at home, he instead chose to study at the library until obscenely early hours of the morning, pouring himself into his studies. Yugyeom tried to will away the strange thoughts he has been having about his best friend since that night, spending more and more time with Kia. It wasn't really until a slightly unfortunate kitchen encounter with Mark did Yugyeom really begin to weigh in the consequences of his feelings.
"Spill it." Mark commanded, as Yugyeom slumped into the kitchen for the third morning in a row looking like he held the world on top of his shoulders. "Girlfriend trouble?" Mark guessed.
"More like best friend trouble?" Yugyeom almost questioned. Mark gazed at him expectant, whilst sipping on his coffee.
Yugyeom shuffled around for a bit, taking his time putting coco puffs and milk into his bowl, before slumping down into the chair, taking a breath before beginning to speak.
"So...the other night I may have asked bambam to kiss me," Yugyeom began.
Mark's eyes widened slightly at that revelation.
"Jackson!" He shouted. "You owe me $100!" He shouted. Yugyeom stared at him incredulously as Jacksons voice drifted in from the bedroom.
"Omg did they finally kiss?!" Jackson was totally fanboying, as he ran into the kitchen, eyes wide with excitement.
Yugyeom groaned, face turning red with embarrassment as he let his face fall onto the table in front of him.
"Yes," Mark answered him gleefully.
"Damn. I knew this day would come, just not so soon. I betted within a year, Mark guessed 4 months." Jackson chuckled.
"Good to know you two were betting on my emotions," yugyeom remarked. "Don't you two have to go fuck now or something?" Yugyeom whined.
"Ahhh!!" Jackson screamed, covering his ears. "I did not hear that, our precious maknae has no idea what he's talking about! Get your mind out of the gutter!" He screamed.
"It might be a little easier to do that if you two weren't so damn loud. You know these walls really aren't as thick as you think." Yugyeom teased.
Mark was currently turning many different shades of pink as he attempted (and failed) to come up with some kind of comeback.
"Whatever," he muttered.
"Jackson do you mind? I really need to talk to Mark right now," Yugyeom asked. Bambam and Jackson had always been closer, Yugyeom found solitude in Mark.
"Consider me gone," Jackson said, going back into his bedroom.
"Don't forget my $100!" Mark called after him, as Yugyeom stared daggers into him.
"Okay, so I'm considering this is more than just about a kiss since you seem so damn upset, how did he react?" Mark asked, joking aside as he leaned over the counter.
"So, I may have kissed him and it may or may not have turned into a hot make out session, but I broke it off! 'Cause, you know, Kia. But now every time I see her I feel guilty like I cheated on her or some shit, but I swear it wasn't like that! The only reason I kissed him was to practice for Kia because it had been a while but now I don't know what to do because I keep thinking of Bam and how soft his lips were and how right it felt, and I don't know it just doesn't feel the same with Kia but I still like her. And I don't know but this is just so fucked up, I don't think you understand how much willpower it took for me to break away from that kiss, I swear I thought I was gonna fuck him right into the mattress and to be honest, I would have fucking enjoyed it so much."
By the time Yugyeom's little rant was over, he was a mess, tears streaming down his red hot cheeks as he stared guiltily into his coco puffs, tears threatening to spill into the milk.
Mark's head was tilted slightly, watching Yugyeom with apprehension.
"I think you like Bambam." He stated simply. Mark was like that, he was straight forward, he made you listen to what he had to say even if you didn't agree with it. In an oddly simple way, he had a way with words. Yugyeom stared up at him, like a deer caught in headlights as he considered this revelation. It was almost like Mark could see the lightbulb above his head clicking on, because how could anyone be so stupid to not understand how in love Yugyeom was with Bambam, how he had been in love with him the whole time. Even if he didn't know it, Mark definitely did. Yugyeom's phone buzzed at that point, as Kia's text came through to him.
Waiting at the cafe where r u???
Yugyeom hastily typed a reply.
Be there in 10.
He smiled at Mark apologetically, wiping away at his excess tears before taking a deep breath and steadying himself.
"I forgot I was meeting Kia. I have to go," he muttered more to himself than Mark, before excusing himself as he left the apartment. The tears stung at his eyes, and Yugyeom had never felt more alone. He felt like he didn't know himself anymore. He has always considered himself to be a nice person, truthful and caring, yet here he was ignoring his undeniable feelings for his best friend whilst he pretended to love someone else. Maybe true love really didn't exist.
In all his hastiness to get out he had completely forgotten that it was Bambam's shift at the cafe. Bambam worked there with three other guys; the manager Jaebum, who had a sharp jawline and peirced ears, although often left them out and his hair soft when he worked at the cafe; Youngjae, the boy next door type, with a laugh louder than life and a personality which Yugyeom swore the sun actually shined out of; and Jinyoung, who often at times looked like a model, with his carefully styled hair and pretty features. Yugyeom had come into the cafe enough times to annoy Bambam and so knew the others pretty well too. He greeted them as he entered, the bell chiming above his head. His neck craned for Bambam.
"He's in the back," Jinyoung smiled at Yugyeom, already knowing what he was looking for.
"Ah," Yugyeom replied.
"You two are so coupley it almost hurts me that you haven't asked him out yet," Youngjae sighed dramatically.
"Dude, he has a girlfriend, and she's sitting right there," Jaebum scolded him, punching his shoulder playfully. Youngjae pouted back at him. "You ordering here?" Jaebum asked.
"Nah, at the table, I'll order some lunch." Yugyeom replied.
"Okay, I'll send someone over in a bit." Jaebum smiled at him which Yugyeom reciprocated.
Yugyeom headed to the back where Kia was already seated.
"Hi," he smiled, placing a chaste kiss on her cheek.
"Hey," she greeted back.
Yugyeom hated himself. She was so pretty, in a simple, delicate kind of way, and her personality matched that. Yugyeom started to wonder since when had his type changed from pretty girls to certain boisterous red head boys with a personality that matched his so well it should honestly be illegal, and killer fashion. He shook the thought away.
"Hey what can I get you guys?" A familiar voice asked. Yugyeom smiled as Bambam looked up from his notepad and eyed the two at the table. Yugyeom couldn't even try to hide his blush at how undeniably good Bambam looked, red hair messily and glasses on. He somehow managed to make the ugly cafe uniform of brown khaki pants and a white button down with a brown apron look hot. Why, oh why, did Bambam have to test Yugyeom with his undeniably good fashion taste.
"Oh, hi Gyeom. Hi Kia." He added, almost as an afterthought.
"Bammie!" She smiled at him. Bambam wondered at what point they had gotten close to where she used his nickname.
"What can I get you? Hamburger and a coke for Yugyeom and for you?" He asked. Kia smiled at the fact that Bambam knew Yugyeom's order by heart.
"Anyone would think you two are the couple," she laughed, earning an awkward cough from Bambam and a blush from Yugyeom. "I'll have the panini and an americano," she added. Bambam forced a smile.
"Coming right up." He replied, quickly leaving their table.
"Did you two fight or something?" Kia asked suddenly.
"What? N-no," Yugyeom struggled to reply.
"You just seem a little...less friendly," she opted for.
Yugyeom was saved from having to reply however as Bambam came back with the tray of their foods.
Suddenly, or Yugyeom couldn't help but notice was slightly deliberate, Bambam managed to knock down Kia's americano, spilling it all over Yugyeom's white shirt.
"Shit! Yugyeom, I'm so sorry!" Bambam exclaimed, grabbing tissues and attempting to clean the mess, which only made the already obvious stain on Yugyeom's shirt even bigger.
"Bam, stop." Yugyeom placed a hand over Bambam's that was still on his shirt.
"No, oh my gosh I'm so sorry Yugyeom crap I'm so sorry." Bambam seemed to be panicking, as Yugyeom idly watched him.
"Hey, it's okay Bam, don't worry," Kia smiled at Bambam fondly. He restrained the urge to pull her hand away as she reached across the table to examine Yugyeom's shirt. "Lets get out of here, yeah? We can go back to mine and wash that out of your shirt." She said, smiling at Yugyeom.
"Y-yeah. Okay," Yugyeom agreed, looking up at Bambam for confirmation. The older boy stared at the floor instead.
After they had left, Bambam slouched back into his usual routine behind the counter. It was going to be a long day, he thought idly, as he stared at the now empty table.
viii.
It was the evening now, a cool breeze drifting through the open window of Yugyeom and Bambam's room as Bambam stood there, shoving his clothes and other things into a small suitcase on his bed. Back to the door, he tensed slightly when he heard the front door slam and the room to their bedroom open. Yugyeom was here, and he was probably mad at Bambam for ruining his date. Bambam tensed a little as he felt his eyes staring at his back.
"So, um, I've been thinking. I think I'm gonna move out. I've been saving up at the cafe so I can afford to-" Bambam paused mid sentence as he turned around to face the younger boy.
Yugyeom looked angry, but not only that, he seemed to be sporting a purplish bruise around his eye.
"What the hell happened?!" Bambam asked, closing the distance between them as he lifted his hand to move the younger boy's hair out of the way and examine the damage from up close.
Yugyeom forcefully pushed Bambam's hand away. The elder boy's stomach dropped.
"Yugyeom-ah," he whispered, hurt evident in his every word. Yugyeom's heart hurt at the sound of that, and one of his hands found Bambam's and interlinked them together at his side. It wasn't anything big, but it was enough to say please don't give up on me. I love you. Or so Yugyeom hoped.
"Kia punched me." He stated, bleak.
"What?" Bambam asked, eyes wide.
"We went back to her apartment after the incident you caused," Bambam internally cringed. "And she told me to take my shirt off so she could try and get the stain out. But then..." Yugyeom trailed off, unbuttoning his shirt to show Bambam the trail of hickeys that ran from his chest down his stomach. Bambam's mouth formed a perfect 'o' shape. He had forgotten that he has littered Yugyeom's perfect skin from their make out session.
"Crap, Yugyeom-ah. I'm so sorry," Bambam whispered.
"I completely forgot they were there. She didn't even let me explain. Although, really how do I explain this anyway? She thought I cheated on her, told me to leave and never speak to her again." Yugyeom sighed.
"I'm so sorry. I'll speak to her tomorrow. I'll find a way to explain. This is all my fault! I'll make it right again, though, because this is all my fault and you deserve to be happy. I just couldn't see that because I was blinded by jealously. But I'm truly sorry." Bambam's eyes were threatening to spill tears now.
"Jealous? Of what? That someone else had my attention for once? That for once, I was happy? Or were you just jealous that I was seeing someone and you weren't?" Yugyeom couldn't help it really. It wasn't even Bambam's fault. But blaming Bambam seemed like an easier option than blaming himself.
Bambam was honestly getting whiplash with Yugyeom's emotions. He was blaming him, him, when it was his idea to kiss him in the first place.
"Are you seriously blaming me right now? You wanted to kiss me. I was perfectly fine before that, and then you came and fucked up all my pent up emotions. So really, this is your own fault Kim Yugyeom."
"Pent up emotions?" Yugyeom snorted. "Don't play the victim here."
"Victim? Are you really stupid or something?"
"What?" Yugyeom rolled his eyes incredulously. "You were jealous and everyone knows it, and now you've fucked up my entire relationship and made me question everything."
"Yes fine! I was jealous! Is that what you want to hear? I was fucking jealous, because I'm so in love with you and I don't know what to do." Yugyeom's eyes widened a fraction at that revelation, and Bambam could swear his heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to fall out of his chest.
He began to immediately regret his words as they sat heavy in the air, almost like a fog that was slowly eating them both alive. But all of Bambam's thoughts were immediately cut off in the three strides it took Yugyeom to cross the room back to him, pushing them both until Bambam's back touched the wall.
"Say it again," Yugyeom ordered, voice low. Bambam was a little scared if he was honest. A little turned on, but also a little scared. Yugyeom was the kindest, sweetest and most bashful person he knew, for him to be exerting vibes that seemed borderline possessive and a little domineering worried Bambam. It worried him what he had done to his best friend.
"I'm sorry," Bambam whispered, looking down. Yugyeom gently put a finger to his chin, locking their eyes in contact once again. Gone was the dominant look and in its place, something incredibly endearing and innocent.
Bambam couldn't help but hold his breath as Yugyeom closed the small distance between them, placing a small kiss under Bambam's eye, before one on his forehead and one on the corner of his mouth. He looked at Bambam for confirmation as his lips dropped to Bambam's own, but before Yugyeom even had time to process Bambam's small nod he had closed the gap between the two of them. This kiss wasn't anything like the one they had shared before, this one was soft and sweet. It took Yugyeom less than half a second to respond to Bambam's lips, moving his in perfect sync, almost seeming like they were meant to be fitted together forever. Bambam sighed into the kiss, grabbing Yugyeom's neck and pulling him impossibly closer until their bodies were flush with one another. Yugyeom was hyper aware of all the parts where their bodies were touching, but he couldn't seem to focus on anything other than Bambam's lips in that moment. When they finally broke away for air, Yugyeom rested his forehead against Bambam's.
"I wanted to do that for a really long time," Yugyeom confessed. "I'm not mad at you Bammie, I'm mad at myself. For not realising soon enough that I am in love with you too."
"But...Kia? She's pretty and you liked her a lot and-"
"I've known for a long time I've not been in love with Kia. How can I be, when my best friend is all I've ever wanted?" Yugyeom smiled at Bambam, blushing before he looked down.
"Ewww...so cheesy," Bambam joked, playfully punching Yugyeom's shoulder.
But Yugyeom only smiled brighter at that, claiming Bambam's lips again under his own, smiling into the kiss. Bambam tasted like cherry lipgloss, and Yugyeom marvelled in the taste of his best friend. The kisses were becoming more desperate and feverish now, Bambam hastily pulling off Yugyeom's coat as he himself began to kiss greedily down Bambam's neck.
"Can I leave a mark?" Yugyeom asked. Bambam smiled. Yugyeom was such a gentleman, even when they were in a very compromising position.
"Go ahead. I want the world to know you're mine," Bambam gasped inbetween kisses, as Yugyeom blushed a nice shade of red. Yugyeom led them towards the bed, where he sat down dragging Bambam into his lap. The next few minutes considered of not much talking, but rather simply basking in the company of one another, hands and lips exploring new places, finding what made the other person tick, what made them themselves.
"I want to take you on a date first," Yugyeom started, when Bambam's hands began to find their way under his shirt. Bambam pouted.
"But I just want to kiss you. I don't think you understand how long I've wanted to kiss you." Yugyeom kissed away his pout.
"Too bad. I'm taking you out on a date first," Yugyeom smiled at Bambam, as the older tried to hide his smile in the crook of his neck.
"You're cute." Bambam tried to hide his smile behind his hands.
"Don't do that," Yugyeom pried Bambam's hands away. "I want to see you smile. Especially when your smile is for me."
"Aish, when did you become so cheesy?" Bambam groaned.
"You love it," Yugyeom joked.
"Mm, and I love you." Bambam replied seriously. Despite the weight those words held, it just seemed right at the time, since Bambam had been nursing those words for years now. "It's okay, you don't have to say it back-" Bambam started, as he noticed Yugyeom had gone pale white.
"I love you too." Yugyeom interrupted. Bambam smiled widely, peppering Yugyeom's face with small kisses.
"I'm so happy," he whispered.
"Me too. I love you Bam. I really do."