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The engine was loud and the shocks on the car were horrible, making the ride bouncy and all the more frustrating. Metatron was sitting in the passenger seat, and the driver tried his best ignore the rambling going on next to him.
“So what has Asstiel been doing while I was away? Bromancing with the Winchesters, I presume? How is Dean? I take it he’s not doing well since he still has the Mark of Cain.”
Cas huffed in annoyance. The last three hours had been incredulously long for him. Metatron was talking his ear off and the radio was broken because of the twisted humor of the universe.
“You look tired, Cas. Is your second burst of stolen Grace waning? I mean, the only way you’d still be alive by now is if you stole someone else’s Grace, otherwise you’d be…” Meatron put a slicing finger to his throat. He chuckled to himself. “You look like a parent of newborn; you even have the bags under your eyes.” Castiel’s jaw clenched at this, and unfortunately Metatron noticed. “Why so stiff? It’s not as if you’re actually a parent.” Cas’ eyes fluttered like they always did when he was put on the spot.
He stared straight ahead, only looking at the road, though he was mostly concentrating on keeping up his appearance. He would not answer. He would not. Metatron gasped and laughed.
“You? A parent?” He guffawed again. “With who? Did Hannah finally seduce you, or what? Some measly human? Who?”
“It is not up for discussion. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” Cas replied in a practiced monotone voice. Metatron smirked.
“It’s hard to get a lie past a master writer.” He replied with a smug look. Castiel snorted. “So…was it anyone I know? Was it…” Metatron took a moment to think. “Dean?” He joked, but when Castiel involuntarily tensed, Metatron’s eyes widened. “Dean?! I meant that as a joke but…Dean?! Mark of Cain, rabid power-kill Dean?”
“I said it’s not up for discussion.” Metatron erupted into uncontrollable laughter.
“So what is it? A boy or a girl?” Cas’ anger was making him tremble.
“I suggest you drop the issue.”
“Oh, give me a hint, Cas.”
“Drop it, Metatron.”
“Word on the bathroom wall is that it’s a girl.” Metatron guessed. He simply wanted to see Cas’ reaction to see if he was right. Cas slammed on the brakes and turned sharply on Metatron.
“If I ever hear you talk about Destiel again, I swear I will kill you, do you understand me?” Cas screamed. Metatron shrunk into his seat, but pointed his finger at Cas.
“But what about your Grace? You want that, don’t you? You still need me for that.” Cas sighed crossly.
“Not for much longer.” He muttered. They continued driving. After a while, Cas was convinced Metatron had dropped the topic of Cas’ daughter. But then the voice next to him was right back at it.
“Alright, alright. Just answer my questions and I’ll tell you if you’re heading in the right direction of your Grace.” Metatron bargained. Cas gritted his teeth.
“Fine.” He allowed begrudgingly.
“So does she look like Dean or like you?” Cas was unsure of which Metatron made sound more vile.
“She has my hair, and her eyes change to the colors of both of us.”
“How old is she? She must be pretty young if she hasn’t been brought up until now. Has she been around for years, or did you just have her?”
“She’s around the age of sixteen. We got her last year.”
“Was she adopted since you and Dean are both…y’know…?” Metatron pushed. Cas swallowed his rage, fighting back the urge to just reach over and stab his passenger.
“She was created by a coven of witches who got samples of our blood. Something happened in the spell where it went wrong and she turned out to be sixteen. Leave Dean out of this.”
“Is she part human, part angel, and part demon because of Dean’s Mark? Or is she only half angel, half human?”
“As far as I know, she’s half human, half angel.” Cas answered. He’d never considered this fact. Des had been created while Dean was in possession of the Mark, but would that affect her? Metatron laughed at Cas. “What?” Cas growled.
“Just imagining a teenage female you with a mixture of Dean.” Cas huffed, and stopped the car. He put a bag over Metatron’s head and made him step out of the car.
They walked for several blocks, Cas shoving a hand-cuffed Metatron along until they reached the entrance to the Bunker. Once there, Cas flew the two of them down from the outside to the basement of the Bunker where he tied up Metatron, putting duct tape over his mouth so he wouldn’t be heard. Hopefully Dean wouldn’t notice.
With a sigh, Castiel headed upstairs to the middle hallway where the rooms were. He left a note and slipped it under Sam’s door saying that Metatron was in the dungeon. Cas debated going to an empty room or…
No, he shouldn’t. But then again, it wouldn’t hurt to check if Dean would let him stay…
Castiel entered Dean’s room as quietly as he could (which for an angel was pretty damn quietly). Dean was asleep, but not dreaming. He tossed and turned; moaning and sweating. Cas’ heart fell: Dean was having nightmares again. Back when they were still together, Dean would sleep peacefully. This was one of the things Cas was afraid Dean would revert back to if the pair split.
He’d flown in late in the night, and he knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he got under the sheets and curled up next to Dean anyways. Dean awoke with a start, defensive at first, but he relaxed when he saw who it was. He took due notice of his unexpected guest, but instead of banishing Cas like he knew he should, the Winchester merely put his arms around the angel and hugged him tight.Cas wasn’t sure if it was because Dean needed the comfort or because he did. Regardless, he put his head on Dean’s bare chest, and burrowed into his ex-boyfriend. Emotions flooded Cas, and hit him hard like he ran into a brick wall. All that bottled anger at Metatron, the sadness of leaving Destiel, the emptiness he felt without Dean; it rushed to him in a surging moment. He felt reminiscently human again. It hurt.
It was after a few minutes when Dean felt and heard Cas sniffling. Though it wasn’t sick sniffles –as Dean soon realized- they were crying sniffles. He turned to the angel and kissed Cas’ head.
"Cas, hey, what's wrong?" Dean found he was right, for Cas’ eyes were brimming with tears.
"I'm so sorry, Dean. It's just so hard to not be with you. To see you day after day and not be allowed to kiss or even touch you. I miss you, I miss Des, and I miss being a family. And I hate myself for having to push you away." Cas put his head on Dean's chest. "I love you so much, Dean. And I miss you." Dean had been feeling the same for the last month since they’d broken up.
“Cas, what’s brought this on?” He asked to distract himself from getting sensitively emotional.
“I was trying to interrogate a demon and he somehow found out about Des and I just…” Alright, so maybe Cas was only partially lying. Sure, it wasn’t entirely true, for Cas had been doing no such thing with a demon, but rather he had been talking about Des, just it was with Metatron instead. “And you were having another nightmare.” He added to balance out more truth to cover the lie. Cas had never been a good liar.
“Mmm, should’ve stayed here with me instead.” Dean hummed, still half asleep, lucky enough for Castiel. “I’ve missed you, too.” Dean ended his sentence with a slow, loving kiss with Cas.
“Dean, I love you.”
"I love you too, Castiel.” Suddenly Dean felt more awake, more aware. He truly did feel the same way about Cas, and the angel deserved to know that. “And… I do miss you. So damned much. I sleep so much better when you're with me. I don't have nightmares as bad as I do without you here. I miss our daughter, and that I didn't get to see her one last time before she disappeared and the last thing I did was hit her." Dean wasn’t crying, though he could’ve if he didn’t feel so incredibly numb. But why? Why did Dean feel so numb? Maybe it was to mask the hurt he knew he felt deep down in himself for turning his angel away in the first place. Cas seemed to sense Dean’s distress, and held his hunter close, and stroking his soft, short hair.
"Dean, Des knows you love her. She knows it wasn't your fault."
"I'm a horrible father. I turned out like my father after all. I'm a horrible father and a horrible brother. Horrible boyfriend." Dean looked at Cas’ tear-stained face. "I'm so sorry." Cas shook his head in disagreement.
"Dean, no. You are a better than your father. In ways you are similar, such as, trying to do the best you can with the little you have. The difference is that you are there for your daughter; John was less of a father than you are. As for Sam, well neither of you deserve "brother of the year". You still have a very strong bond, regardless of that fact. And..." Cas stopped. Dean looked at him longingly.
"Cas...?"
"Dean, I love you. I always have. I always will. I don't want to lose you, ever.” Cas put a hand to Dean’s cheek smoothing it over with his thumb lovingly. “And I want to stay by your side until my last breath. We've done some very difficult things together, you and I. We trapped Lucifer, stopped the Apocalypse, got through Purgatory, but... to stay away from you when I know you feel the same love I do is the hardest thing I've ever done." Cas looked up at Dean Winchester with a desperate expression. "You've come so far from what you once were." Cas continued sadly. "Everything was so simple back then for you. Just you, Sam, the Impala, and the open road. Less demons, no Mark, no angels, no me." More tears erected from Cas’ eyes, so Dean kissed him.
"Don't say things like that. I'd take it all for you. If you'd told me six years ago, that we'd be right here, just as we are, I'd rather have it this way. Because I'm with you." Dean reassured him.
"No, Dean. It’s wrong that this happened to you. You never asked for any of this, you never did the world injustice… It’s not fair-”
“Cas, don’t.” Dean interrupted.
“But Dean-” Dean kissed Cas to stop him.
“Babe, just don’t.” Dean kissed him again and caressed Cas’ face to prove his point. “It’s okay.” He whispered. Their faces were inches away from each other.
“Alright.” Cas nuzzled the crook of Dean’s neck. “Dean you know you have to sleep at some point.” He murmured against his lover’s skin.
“Then don’t leave.”
“I can’t always be here to sleep with you.” This statement made Dean feel worse.
“Well, I wouldn’t call this sleeping together, it’s a little PG for that.” Dean teased, his defensive side coming on. Cas chuckled, and kissed Dean’s neck. “Not tonight, though.”
“Yes, you need sleep.” Castiel agreed. “Actual sleep, not nightmares.” He added.
“Sure thing, Cas. As long as you promise me one thing.”
“Anything, Dean.”
“Be here when I wake up in the morning?”
“Of course, Dean.” Dean smiled, knowing he’d get to wake up to Cas at least one more time.
“I love you, Castiel.” Dean repeated one more time. After all, you never know when it might be your last chance to say it.
~~~
The pickup truck sped down the road, engine roaring pridefully. The driver ran a fair-skinned hand through her jet black hair that was whipping at its’ will in the wind. All windows were completely down, except for the two in the back, for those only cracked. The girl smiled as she sped down the road in her new, but not necessarily young pick-up. It was her first, and very own, and she was damn proud of it.
Her name was Destiel, and she loved joyrides like this: wind tussling her hair, flat countryside as far as the eye could see around her, nothing ahead but the open road, and most particularly the connection between driver and vehicle that not everyone could truly feel. I made her heart race, and she stepped on the accelerator more. Here, her spirit was free, and she knew driving was in her blood. As if her dad wasn’t a big enough hint.
Her parentage didn’t cross her mind now. Nothing did. Her cares and worries were gone. Stresses and problems went out the window and dissolved into thin air. Most people drove to get away from their problems. Des got away from her problems to drive.
The smell of cool, crisp, spring air surrounded her and the truck. She loved every minute of it, the smell of freshness was overwhelming and exhilarating.
A small, royal blue charm rattled on her wrist against the steering wheel. She glanced down at it, and shook her wrist, jostling the clear amulet around on its black string chain her aunt had made for it. She smiled wider at the thought of her aunt.
Aunt Charlie was pretty damn cool. She taught Des a lot of helpful tricks and hint on how to hit on women and avoid them getting pissy, and also how to politely decline a guy when he asks you out. That, and she was into the nerdiest awesome shit. Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, you name it. Des had never been fully exposed to fandoms before Charlie, but now she was in, and she was never coming out. Crafty, kooky woman Aunt Charlie was, but their relationship went deeper than that. She was the closest thing Destiel ever had to a mother, though she resembled an older sister more than anything. Being raised by two men who hadn't had a woman in the family for 32 years had been beginning to grow on the young girl. That was, until she'd been sent to live with her aunt (who wasn't her actual aunt, but close enough).
Thinking of her father and her dad made Destiel frown. She shook off the thought and kept driving. Everything was perfect; the sun was shining, the wind was blowing, the engine was purring. No one else was on the road but her. That was, with the exception of the blue and red flashing lights in her rearview mirror that came from nowhere.
"Shit." Des muttered. She pressed the brake. Well, she was going just under 90 in a 55 zone. She slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road. The cop pulled up behind her, and eventually came up to her window. Des put on a grade-A smile. “Is there a problem officer?” She asked the middle-aged policewoman. The cop gave her an emotionless glare.
“License of registration please.” Des pulled out her fake license from her wallet and handed it to the cop. The cop took it and stared at Destiel. “Do you know why I’ve pulled you over, miss?”
“Don’t tell me it was my charming appeal and dazzling personality.” Des joked, grinning. The cop frowned even more.
“No, you were going about 87 in a 55 zone." She corrected. Des pretended to frown.
"Well, see, there’s this big issue, and I'm in a hurry-"
"What is the problem?" The cop questioned. Des' mind raced.
"It's an angel thing." Des explained nonchalantly. The cop was confused.
"Excuse me?"
"See, ma'am, I happen to be an angel of the Lord." Des revealed while she untied her bracelet. The charm came off, and the cop's eyes widened. She gasped in disbelief at the unfurling of two well-sized, midnight-black feathery wings that sprouted from Destiel's back.
"Lord, O’mighty." The woman muttered.
"Well, half angel, anyway." Des added to herself. The cop fell to her knees.
"Forgive me, I was only trying to do my job." She whimpered.
"I know." Des replied casually, as if there wasn't a scene being made. She shrugged. "But I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell people about this little encounter. If you do, I'll know." Des tapped temple. Well, it wasn't exactly true, but humans would believe anything these days. The cop nodded, still staring at Des with an open mouth. She let Des go, but merely suggested that the half-angel should slow down.
As if Destiel Winchester ever did anything anyone told her.
~~~
Somewhere around five am, Sam pushed aside Dean's closed door and opened his mouth to bark out a smartass comment. But before he could do so, Sam noticed there were two bodies under the covers in the dark room. Two moving bodies and a great deal of panting. Sam's good mood suddenly plummeted.
"Dean, get out of bed, you lazy ass!" He yelled, turning on the light abruptly. Dean and Cas turned towards Sam, and Dean pulled up the covers.
"Dude! Knock next time!" He shrieked. Sam rolled his eyes.
"Just get your shit together and get out here." Sam slammed the door behind himself on his way out. He hated Dean right now. He knew Cas was at the Bunker from the note he’d left under Sam’s door, but Sam was kicking himself for not considering that Cas might crawl into Dean’s bed, though they had put their relationship on hold. He knew it was wrong to be mad, but his jealousy had a strong hold on him now.
Dean turned to Cas. Cas gave Dean a wordless look, and immediately, Dean called out to Sam:
"Give us a few more minutes." Dean then looked back at his partner, and grinned deviously.
Fifteen minutes later…
Dean came out of his room, smiling like an idiot. He was just downright content, as he always was after being with Cas (with or without sex). He buttoned his shirt as he walked around the halls to the main room. Cas had gone to take a shower, and though he wanted to, Dean had declined to join him. He found his brother in the main room, sitting at the table, staring angrily away from the direction Dean had come from.
“Hey. There’s this new thing. It’s called knocking. You should try it.” Dean shot, his tone a mixture of fear, teasing, and mindfulness. Sam’s shoulders tensed.
“Why don’t you try keeping your promises?” He replied with a barely calmed anger. It had come out quietly, but accusingly.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean asked, a bit confused. Sam stood and turned on him, way more pissed off than he should (or meant to) be.
“I’m talking about you and Cas. I thought you guys said you weren’t staying together anymore.” Sam answered. Dean was taken aback, and his gut tightened in fear. This is what he was afraid of: being discriminated by Sam (or anyone, for that matter) for being bisexual, particularly his brother. Dean kept his cool, because Sam hadn’t outright said it.
Yet.
“Oh, c’mon. We’re grown men, Sam. We can have a little fun every once in a while!” Dean pointed out, trying to play it off. Sam rolled his eyes and ran a hand irritably through his hair.
“But I thought you said you were done for a while!” He yelled back. “I can’t take it, alright! I’m sick of it, and I’m sick of you!”
“You can’t take what?! Say it, Sam!!” Dean screamed. He needed to hear Sam admit that he thought Dean was a freak for loving Cas. If Sam felt it, Dean needed to hear it. The younger Winchester brother paused, debating on saying what he needed to. Then he bursted into a fuming rant.
“Fine! So what if I’m jealous! It’s not fair that you have someone to hold you and love you. I’m jealous that you have someone who won’t be a liability because he does what we do! There, I said it. You know what?! I’m done.” Sam picked up his jacket from the back of the chair, and turned towards the entrance. Dean stood there, unsure of what he had just heard.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?” Dean asked. “Jealous? Wow, I was way off-target on that one.” He admitted. Sam stared at him in confusion.
“What? …What did you think I was gonna say?”
“That I’m a sick bastard for liking men.” Dean answered bashfully. Sam was surprised at this. He came back down the stairs to the front door, back to the main area.
“Dean, you know that doesn’t bother me. I fully support you with that. You should know that by now.” Sam responded. Dean sighed, and plopped his ass down in a chair. Sam did the same. Dean looked over at his younger brother.
“Jealous, huh?” Dean asked without torment. Sam looked distantly sad.
“Yeah.”
“In general, or is there…someone in particular?” Dean asked slowly and carefully. Sam cut him off quickly.
“No.”
“Okay.” Dean replied immediately. There was a moment of silence between the two, with the execption of water running off in the distance from Castiel’s shower. Dean looked off in the direction of the noise, thinking about his angel. “Sammy, I…I love him.” He stated. Sam nodded.
“I know you do, Dean.” Sam said quietly. “So does this mean you and Cas are back together?”
It didn’t take Dean a moment to think about the answer.
~~~
The question was always the same:
“Netflix?”
The answer was just as automatic:
“Hell, yeah!”
Charlie jumped onto the couch; pajamas and glasses on. Des flopped down next to her, dressed in sweats she’d been borrowing and a soft shirt she had come across in a Good Will. The younger woman spread out her legs on the L-shaped velvet couch, and put her head on Charlie’s shoulder. Charlie smiled down at her adopted niece.
They re-watched episode six of Star Wars, and Des had fallen asleep on Charlie just after Luke learned about Leia being his sister. Charlie turned off the small TV with the remote. She smiled a weary smile down at the seraphim currently sleeping on her.
Charlie had been burning the midnight oil far too often nowadays, trying to find the Book of the Damned for Dean. Then his daughter had turned up on her doorstep in tears, claiming she was stuck with Charlie until her dad (this name was exclusive for Dean as Des explained to Charlie later on) got better. Of course, Charlie had loved the girl as soon as she knew her. She’d never dreamed of having kids of her own (for numerous reasons; particularly that young kids weren’t her thing). But Des was cool (and fortunately not very young), and she reminded Charlie so much of Dean at times, it seemed to her that it was as if it was practically him in the room.
But then again, Destiel looked nothing like Dean, though sometimes Charlie could see the traces of him within Des. From the faint freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks to the (sometimes) green eyes (which were mostly blue, save for when the girl cried or got frustrated).
What was equally surprising was that Destiel and Charlie had more in common than Charlie would’ve ever guessed. They were both big nerds (well, more like Charlie had turned Des into one, but the girl went willingly and happily along with every bit of it), and the obvious fact that they were both into women. It was a delightful revelation that made spending time with the young Winchester all the more enjoyable.
Charlie was really close to cracking down on the Book of the Damned, but Des had been a delightful distraction. Des had told Charlie everything that had happened, from her creation up to showing up at Charlie’s because of Dean’s mark. Charlie had understood Destiel and given her a place to stay until Dean got everything sorted out. She’d smiled and giggled a bit when Des mentioned the part where Dean and Castiel admitted their feelings for each other. She’d always known that deep down, Dean was a closet case. Charlie was relieved and extremely happy for him, though she’d never personally met Cas. He seemed cool enough, from what she had heard collectively from Dean, Sam, and Destiel.
She looked back down at Des, and decided it was time to get back to work. After setting the girl's head on a pillow instead of Charlie's shoulder, Charlie left for the tiny kitchen in the next room. Opening her laptop, Charlie began hacking historical museums, private collector's web pages, and anything she could think of.
After hours of endless typing and cups of coffee, Charlie gasped. Temporarily forgetting about her sleeping niece, Charlie ran to the gas station across the street where there was a payphone (it was so hard to find one nowadays).
"Dean, I found the Book of the Damned."
To Be Continued...