Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was kinda weird to be lying on Zayn's shitty old mattress, wide awake I may add, while he was snoring loudly on his double sized bed, that he had refused to share with me because "Dude, no way, our mothers want us to get married anyway, no need to give them more ideas."

They didn't want us to get married, however it was true that we had been practically forced to become friends, it's kinda hard not to when you're four and your mum makes playdates for you with them same kid over again just because she went to high school with HIS mum. Yeah, no denying that Zayn had come around well, we've known each other for approximately twelve years, the first eight spent to hang out so much we got bored of each other, I actually had liked the fact that we had moved away then, because truth be told, we hadn't gotten on well anymore in the end.

But I was still there again, in his old, much messier room, now, after being practically forced by my mum to have a sleepover with Zayn because "Liam, we just moved back, I bet you two are dying to see each other after so many years, you always hung out so much remember?". Yeah, I did remember it, so I agreed and that's how we had ended up spending the whole afternoon playing video games, hardly talking, it was kinda awkward as well because nobody else was home or came to talk to us, so yeah. I really hoped monday would be better, I'd just find other friends in my new school, Zayn would probably ignore me anyway. Not that I minded too much.

As I turned again, groaning a bit at the thought of having to lie here for another eight hours or so, I saw the light in the hallway being turned on due to the fact that I was practically lying on the floor. Maybe it was his mum or so, even if the footsteps were kinda too light for that, but they definitely came closer to the door, Zayn had probably been right, maybe she'd really check whether we'd share his bed.

So I closed my eyes, I couldn't need a conversation now, focusing on breathing more even as the door opened slowly. Much to my surprise though, this was definitely not Zayn's mum. "Z-Zayn?"

Even though I knew exactly who it was, I still looked up now to see Zayn's little brother, Niall, standing there, I hadn't seen him in years either of course, but he still looked too small for a boy his age, which was kinda dumb to think since he was still a child. "He's asleep, Niall."

I couldn't really see his face properly, but I sat up now as he backed away a little, scared as it seemed, well, he probably had no idea who I was, right.

"It's me, Liam, remember me? Zayn's friend." Actually, I didn't care if Zayn woke up due to this, I would've welcomed it to be honest, but I whispered anyway, so I wouldn't scare Niall even more, it must've been pretty confusing.

He didn't answer me anyway, he just stared down at me, one hand still on the door handle, sniffing slightly and that's when I realized, there probably was a good reason he had come here at two am. Not so sure about this but I assumed his bedtime had been hours ago.

"What's wrong, are you okay? Do you need Zayn?" Not that he would've helped, Zayn and Niall didn't get along well, maybe it was the age gap, I wasn't sure, or maybe their relationship had changed in the last four years. I doubted it though.

"No. No, he gets grumpy if I wake him…" Niall mumbled, he seemed extremely shy, backing away a little now, staring down at his feet, I still couldn't see him properly so I decided to get up, I couldn't fall asleep anyway, I might as well help out, it would've been really irresponsible not to.

"Maybe you wanna tell me what's up then?" I smiled, even though Niall backed away even further as I walked out into the hall, blinking a little because the light hurt, but then I could finally see him properly.

He was still incredibly small, I had forgotten how old he had been, maybe four or five years younger than me, wearing a pokemon shirt that he twisted his fingers in now and pajama pants. It wasn't hard to admit that he was damn cute, I wasn't really into kids because I didn't have anything to do with them, but Niall here made me go softer immediately, I wouldn't have minded bringing him back to bed and reading him bedtime stories or something.

"Or your mum?" The door behind me was still open, so I closed it quietly before facing Niall again, he was shaking his head now, sniffing again. God, I hadn't known I could feel like this, maybe because I had been a child myself the last time I had seen him, but now I wanted to desperately fix whatever was wrong with this poor kid.

"Mum and dad are gone… and I can't sleep…" Really? They just left their child alone with Zayn and me, without even telling us?

"Well, I can't sleep either, so there's two of us. Do you still know who I am?" Maybe I shouldn't have pushed it so much, we had never had anything to do with each other really, even though I slightly remember being allowed to hold him when he had been born and later all his fights with Zayn over toys, stuff like that.

Niall sticked to simply nodding, I wondered if these were bad memories he had of me, but he hadn't started crying yet, it actually looked like he had just gotten done with that before coming here.

"Did you have a nightmare or so?" I didn't know how to get him to talk, I was really bad at this, he probably wouldn't want me to comfort him anyway. Didn't change the fact that I desperately wanted to though.

"I… I left Marshmallow in the living room." Wait, wait, what the hell.

"Who… who exactly is Marshmallow?" Did he have a fantasy friend or something, this was getting a bit creepy, but Niall was still so shy and scared in front of me, I couldn't help my voice sounding even MORE caring than before.

There was a tiny sigh, as if to tell me that I was damn stupid for not guessing the right answer myself. "My stuffie. And it's dark downstairs, he's scared."

Oooh, see this made sense, his stuffed animal was down there, I dared saying that Niall was actually the one who was scared, but I smiled instead, trying to cheer him up a little. "Oh. Should we go and get him?"

"Can you come with me? I don't like when it's dark…" He wasn't looking at me anymore, the words came out rather quiet compared to the rest, how in the world would I have been able to say no, really, nobody would've, I swear, Niall was the cutest kid I had ever met hands down.

"Of course, come on." I made a step towards the stairs, waiting if he would follow me and he did, actually nearly touching me the closer we got, this was really adorable, if he hadn't acted so shy before maybe I would've put an arm around him to calm him down or so, I don't know, it's just what would've felt right.

Something that I wouldn't have considered though was holding his hand, I mean, if Zayn would've done that it would've been fine, but Niall seemed to think otherwise, because that's exactly what he did when I walked down the first step. I nearly pulled my arm back in surprise, thinking that now I was the one who was too scared at feeling someone slipping their hand in mine. Niall didn't even care if I stared down at him in surprise, or maybe he was too busy tightening his grip, nearly shaking now. Aw, this was really sweet actually, I felt incredibly grown up, and really protective as I looked at our hands before deciding that it was cute, his hand nearly got lost in mine, but he didn't even think of pulling away again.

"So, where exactly…" I didn't finish because Niall pulled me along as soon as he had turned on the lights, going straight for the couch, obviously not so scared anymore seeing as he lot go of my hand to nearly run over.

Marshmallow was a stuffed horse, that looked like Niall had had it for too many years without ever washing it or letting go of it, but I still couldn't hold back my smile when he came back to me, keeping it pressed against his chest, only letting go with one hand to hold mine again that I had been holding out slightly, kinda unsure, but he probably wasn't THAT shy. Or just really scared, either way I kinda liked the fact that he was fine with me being here instead of Zayn or his parents. See, at least someone was somewhat happy about me spending the night here.

When we walked back upstairs, I turned the lights back off since Niall was busy snuggling his face into his stuffed horse and kissing it, I suddenly remembered that I still wasn't sure how old he really was, there couldn't have been only four years difference between us if he was acting like this. "Niall… how old are you now?"

"Ten…" Really, six years? This couldn't be. Well, it fitted, because he didn't seem to have gotten much taller or looking older either, he still had his cute nose and the brown hair falling nearly over his hair. "You?"

This question caught me a bit off guard, but I laughed quietly as we reached the top of the stairs, kinda glad that he had decided to talk to me. "I turned sixteen a few days ago, so I'm as old as your brother."

"Oh… then your birthday is really close to mine, I'm gonna be eleven in a week." He announced, happily even, which surprised me, but maybe that realization was the reason for him to pull me along down the hall to his own room, not that I really minded, I wasn't tired yet anyway and there was only a really uncomfortable mattress waiting for me.

"Really? Eleven, wow, you're really grown up already, huh? Are you gonna have a party?" That's what you do when you're turning eleven, right? And then when you turn sixteen you stay at home because you hardly have any friends ha, ha, ha…

"Yes! And my friends are gonna come and my dad will come home too and…" He kept babbling on, too loud for a time like this, but who was I to shush him or ask any questions, I was just glad that that expression from earlier had left his face, that I had been able to help because if I would've just left him by himself then the guilt would be eating me alive now.

His room was a mess, just like Zayn's but maybe not that much, I preferred the stuffed animals and pillows to dirty underwear trust me. Also the walls were plastered with drawings and photos but mostly pictures of  animals and those shows that kids watched, I didn't know all of them, but I was pretty sure that I would've gotten made fun of for liking My little pony. Not that it bothered me in any way, I just took notice of it before Niall suddenly let go of me, going silent.

"Everything alright…?" It kinda worried me a little that his little happy speech had stopped, he was just cuddling his horse now, leaving me standing there in the middle of his room, very unsure of what to do.

"Mhm…" This didn't sound too excited.

"You… you wanna go back to bed now? It's really late… I think…" Not that I wanted to give him any orders, I just didn't know what else to say besides I think his parents would appreciate it if at least I tried to be here if Zayn wasn't.

"Okay…" Niall nodded slowly, making his way over to his bed that was filled with pillows as well and with puppy bedsheets that made Niall impossibly cuter as he pulled the blanket up to his chin, still looking at me, as if he waited for something.

"Ummm… you know I can… wait until you're asleep or so, if you want me to, you know…" I mean, I remembered not being able to fall asleep anymore in situations like this when I had been his age, maybe that had just been me though, all I really wanted was him being able to fall asleep and for me to waste some more time before having to go back to Zayn's room.

"Yes, please." Wow, so polite all of a sudden, it got me thinking as I walked over to sit on the edge of his bed, there was nowhere else to sit anyway, Niall seemed more relaxed now after my offer, he smiled briefly before half nuzzling his face into his stuffed horse. "Can you not tell Zayn that I couldn't fall asleep without Marshmallow?"

"Wha- yeah, sure, I mean, no, I won't say anything, don't worry, okay?" I wondered what Zayn would've said otherwise but I decided not to ask, maybe Niall didn't wanna tell me, he didn't even know me anymore after all.

"Thanks…he'd only laugh." Oh, so that was why. Now this made me feel bad, poor Niall, how could anyone laugh at a face like this, had Zayn lost his mind or something. Wait, yes he had.

"Well, if he'd laugh then he's really stupid because that's not funny or anything, no need to be embarrassed, Niall. Everything's fine and I'm not gonna say a word, okay?" When Niall yawned, I was awfully close to giving him a kiss on the forehead, which took me by surprise, I hadn't thought I was the guy to feel so maternal towards someone but here I was. "You should close your eyes."

Instead of answering me, he just did what I had suggested, snuggling deeper into his pillow and sighing slightly before finally staying still after wiggling around a bit, to get more comfortable I assume. It was a cute sight, honestly, his hair was all tousled up now because of all the moving around just so he'd settle again the way he had been in the beginning, with him nearly buried completely under his blanket while cuddling with his stuffie.

I decided to wait for a while, even after he had slept in which happened in the first ten minutes, it didn't seem to disturb him that I looked down at him, not knowing where else to look and besides I also didn't want to.

The clock read 2:38 when I got up slowly, keeping my hand on where I thought Niall's shoulder was for a second to make sure he was asleep before walking towards the door, leaving the light on his bedside table turned on because he had never told me to turn it off, maybe he was scared, I didn't wanna risk that. Also, I had no idea whether the door should be closed or not, so I left it open an crack, deciding to go to the bathroom and try finding out the wifi password instead of dealing with Zayn's snores for one more minute.



———



I felt as if I was dead when Zayn nearly fell over me the next morning, I had been asleep for what felt like five minutes, in reality it had probably been two to three hours. I'd never sleep over ever again, I should've just walked home or something, sleeping on my own front porch seemed like a better thing to do than hang out in other people's bathrooms, having to learn the hard way that I had forgotten my phone charger.

"Hell, I nearly forgot you were there…" Well, I wish I had forgotten it too, but it was kinda hard next to some guy who was louder than a war going on outside and in a room that smelled and looked like it had been going on in here.

"Yeah… what's the time? I should call my mum to get me." And sleep at home.

"Eleven or somethin', no idea." Zayn was going through his stuff as I sat up, rubbing my eyes before grabbing my phone, realizing that the battery was out, shit, how'd I get home then?

"You don't happen to have my mum's number and a phone I can borrow, do you?" I had thought it was in Zayn's interest as well to get me out of here as soon as possible, playdates didn't exactly work anymore and it's not like we had needed last night to figure out we both had changed over the years and didn't share any interests, at all.

"The second, yes, but I don't have her number. My mum has it though, she should be back in a few hours." HOURS.

"Yeah, alright, sorry, I gotta bother you until then." It had been a joke, I even laughed but Zayn just shrugged, as if he seriously thought about if he should accept the apology or not.

"It's fine. Let's go downstairs, I'm starvin'." Yeah, downstairs included moving, the last thing I felt like doing. But at least I preferred it over staying in this room, so I just followed Zayn through the all too familiar house, throwing a glance over to Niall's room where the door was wide open. So he was awake alone again, not that I'd go check or something, but I wanted to.

As we reached the kitchen I decided that I wasn't hungry, it's not that I found it so disgusting, it's just that I didn't want to go through all the stuff like Zayn suggested, so I waited for him to make a bowl of cereal before heading to the living room, texting somebody meanwhile. I hoped it was his mum and that he told her to come back earlier because he couldn't stand me anymore, it most likely wasn't though.

The last thing I expected really was seeing Niall now, but he was on the couch, watching cartoons with his Marshmallow horse, curled up in a ball. Before I could open my mouth to say something, Zayn had already seen him, half groaning at the sight of his little brother. "I thought you're with mum and dad."

"They dropped me off last night…" It was wrong, the way Niall flinched at Zayn's voice, as if he was scared he might hit him or something.

"Yeah, whatever, go to your room, we are gonna watch TV now." To think their relationship had improved had clearly been a mistake, wow, didn't Zayn feel bad at seeing Niall's face go all sad, I nearly stepped in right there.

"Can't I stay and watch too? Pleeeasee." That puppy face should've been illegal to ignore yet all Zayn did was change the channel before sitting down furthest away from his brother, glaring at him while I was still too speechless to react to all of this.

"You have ten seconds to get up and go upstairs." It sounded like a threat, who would threaten a ten year old with pokemon pajamas?

"But I wanna stay!" His voice broke a little, if he started crying now then I'd have an official confirmation that Zayn was heartless.

"God, Niall, you're so annoying, I'm the one who gives orders, so get up right now or this ugly horse is gonna get a free flying lesson." He was.

"Zayn, you know, I wouldn't mind if Niall stayed, I mean, he was here first, so…" This wasn't my family, or my house, it just felt horribly wrong to stay quiet and not say a word. All I got for my attempts though was a hopeful look from Niall that broke my heart and Zayn not even acknowledging the fact that I had spoken up.

"I warned you." That was all, and then Marshmallow got sent flying across the room, Niall started crying, Zayn continued to eat his cereals as if nothing had ever happened and I was standing there like the dumb idiot I was, watching as Niall ran over to pick up his horse before disappearing upstairs, still sobbing before clearly throwing his door shut hard as he reached his room.

"Was that necessary?" Not sure if I even wanted to hear an explanation, you couldn't really talk yourself out of doing something like this and it's not exactly that Zayn felt guilty or anything, he just gave me half a shrug.

"There's no other way to get him out of the room." Here's where the problem started, WHY would you even want to get him out, he was adorable.

"But… he's probably still crying and-"

"Dude, chill out, he'll come around, as soon as my parents come back he's gonna run to them and tell on me so there's no need for you to piss your pants now." Great, so did I want to watch TV with an asshole now that used to be my best friend or go upstairs to comfort his little brother or just walk home and leave them all alone because this was freaking insane.

"Can I go check on him?" I should've just gone, why had I asked.

"No, you're not gonna check on him, because all he's gonna do is cry and tell you how mean I am and then he thinks he can get through with not listening to me. Look, when our parents aren't there, I get to say what's happening, he needs to listen to me. Now please let's just drop this." To a certain extend he was right, yeah, Niall needed to listen to him, but not in situations like these.

This was just ridiculous, I dropped down in Niall's now empty space, feeling as if my guilt was eating me alive when me and Zayn went back to ignoring each other, he laughed at the TV occasionally and I sometimes wondered if their first floor was high enough to die if you jumped but that was all we did for an hour or so. I started to wonder how it had happened that we had gotten along like EVER and why the fuck I had agreed to coming here, my whole stuff wasn't even unpacked at our new house and I was wasting time here.

A few times I thought about pretending to go to the toilet just to check on Niall, but who knows what Zayn would do then, I had a feeling I wouldn't be the one he'd take it out on so I let it be, silently praying to hear the front door open, but I got disappointed.

When Zayn suddenly remembered that he had to get homework done, I offered my help, just because I was about to die from boredom, but he agreed, a little confused, but still. "Oh, shit, I forgot my book upstairs, I'll be right back."

"Okay." Not that I minded to be left alone, at least I got to sit in the kitchen.

"Zayn, I'm bleeding!" Niall came running downstairs before Zayn was able to leave, nearly shouting while holding up his finger. There was no sign of sadness left from earlier, no, he came running to Zayn AGAIN, just like he had tried to last night, this was so fucking sad, I knew he'd get rejected.

"It's just a paper cut, get yourself together, you're such a baby." Maybe Niall had known it too, his face fell a little, but he just sniffed, trying to unpack the band aid by his own then, not running after his brother as he left us alone.

"Hey, Niall… come here, I can do it." The sight had been too pitiful to ignore for just one second, he came over to me, slowly, handing me the band aid as I reached out for it, still sitting but Niall was still smaller than me. "What happened?"

"I was doing my homework and then… I cut myself on accident." It really was only a tiny cut, hardly any blood, I made sure to cover it up after unpacking the band aid, hoping it didn't hurt or anything, he didn't deserve it.

"All good now?" I smiled, even if I didn't feel like it, but Niall was just a child, nobody should ever be cruel to him or do anything but care about him.

First he nodded, examining his finger before speaking up, a little more quiet. "Can you kiss it better?"

Actually, I had thought you only did this with toddlers or so, but Niall sounded so close to tears and he would've passed as a five year old the way he looked, so I took his hand carefully without answering, kissing the band aid slightly like he had asked me to. "Better?"

"Yes… thank you." The tiny smile he gave me was the cutest thing, it made me feel warmer immediately to watch him walking out of the kitchen again, leaving me alone once more. Somehow it was a really painful thought to think that maybe the reason he left was because he knew Zayn would probably shoo him out again anyway.

So I waited by myself then, I think somewhere from upstairs I heard something like "No, you can do your homework yourself if you just try harder, Niall, I can't help you now" which was ironic because wasn't I here waiting for Zayn to help HIM?

It never came to that though, after like, fifteen minutes, he came downstairs, in quite a rush instead of sitting down like I had expected him to.

"Listen, I'm sorry, but my girlfriend just called and I have to go over. If my mum comes home please tell her where I am, make yourself feel like home meanwhile, you know this house anyway." Of course he wasn't actually sorry, and maybe I also wasn't too sad over this, I mean, who knows, maybe he didn't even have a girlfriend, maybe it was just an attempt to save both our days.

"Alright, I'll see you some time or so." Most likely, if our mum's wouldn't stop being best friends which would never happen, at one point they'd drag one of us to each other's houses again.

"Bye, Liam, nice seeing you again." His smile even seemed somewhat genuine before he disappeared out of the kitchen, the front door closing a few seconds after, leaving me some time to bury my face in my hands.

This had not been a good start here, honestly, I don't know what I had hoped for, but when my mum had told me she wanted to move back, I had thought to myself, well, it can't get even worse, right, at least I knew some people here. At my other school, I had hardly had any friends at all, I had had hopes that maybe if I came back then I'd have at least Zayn, but yeah, I'd have to start at zero again. And I wasn't good at making friends at all, I just made no effort to.

When I was done pitying myself a bit, maybe even having a little moment because of school tomorrow, I got myself together, remembering that I wasn't actually all alone, and most likely also not the one feeling the worst in this house.

The fact that I actually had to practically play babysitter now at least gave me something to do, so I walked up to Niall's room, finding his door closed once again, even if he hadn't thrown it shut like before, it still seemed wrong.

"Niall? Can I come in?" I knocked, because it seemed to be the right thing to do, not sure if I really would've taken a no.

He said nothing instead, even as I waited a little, so I just opened the door slowly, peeking inside, but all I saw was a really big mountain of pillows and stuffed animals on his bed, no Niall. It was not hard to guess where he was though, this was either a game or something was terribly wrong.

"Are you under there? Come on, Niall, talk to me." It was actually my responsibility to go and check, so that's exactly what I did, walking over to his bed to move some of the pillows, immediately making Niall turn away from me when I revealed his face. "There you are. What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing." Oh damn.

"I just wanna help, I promise, I won't tell Zayn or anybody else." Promising something like this was risky, but I didn't know what else to do as Niall turned onto his stomach to bury his face into his pillow, sniffing very obviously. "Please?"

"W-Where's Z-Zayn?" Did he really want him, still?

"He's gone, it's just us now, maybe we can call him if you-"

"No… he doesn't like when I call him…" Yeah, I would've bet my money on that.

Niall sat up slowly now, his eyes were red and wet, like his face, even if he tried to rub it dry with his hand, it made everything even worse. "You don't have to tell me, I just thought, it would help, maybe."

"I-I just… I can't do my homework and… and Zayn always says it's because I'm dumb and then h-he tells my dad and he gets m-mad at me…" What was wrong with everybody in this family, god, was it their freaking hobby to make this poor bundle of sadness feel even worse?!

"You're not dumb, I can help you, okay? Do you want that?" I wanted to reach out, pull him into my arms so he could cry there if he wanted to, but I wasn't gonna force it on him, so all I did was smile softly, relieved at seeing him nod slowly.

"Don't you have to go home?" It didn't sound mean, he was just curious, besides if he had wanted to he could've called me every name in the book with a face like this and I would still want to cuddle him.

"No, I'll stay here until your parents come back, is that okay?" Not that I would've dared leaving him alone, I had no idea at what age you can leave your kids alone at home, better not risk it.

"Yeah." He even seemed happy about this, can you believe it, all I had done was help him getting his stuffed horse from downstairs and he was already liking me and smiling at me, I liked that, it made me feel a little better because of the move and tomorrow and all. Couldn't be that shit of a person then, right.

"Alright then, homework?" His face looked a little better now, he got up and down on the floor where his stuff was, obviously not intending to get up again, so I walked over as well, sitting down cross legged besides to look at what was causing him so many problems.

Niall pretty much just dropped his book in my lap, it was maths, basic luckily, I mean he was only ten but I had been kinda scared that maybe I was too dumb to understand it, that would've been embarrassing. He pointed to the first three problems on the open page though, the easiest as it seemed. "These ones."

"No worries, you'll understand those in no time, you got a pen?"

So that's how I ended up with a Furby pencil a few seconds later, while Niall was holding and leaning onto the arm I needed for writing to be able to look at what I was doing. I decided to deal with it rather than telling him to back off, I had understood by now that he got affectionate very easily, it's not that I minded, it just made it a bit harder to move. Besides, I wasn't Zayn and I actually started to care about if he really got maths or not, I mean, I couldn't always help him with his homework.

Twenty minutes later, after Niall had stored his school stuff again, smiling the whole time now, he came back to me, wrapping his arms around my waist as far as that was possible, actually lower, because of the height difference, but it was still really unexpected. And really, really cute. "Thank you for helping me."

"No problem, Niall." I nearly offered to help him again any time he wanted to, but I just sticked to patting his back slightly when he didn't let go immediately again, staying with his face pressed into my stomach. "You wanna… do something, or… I don't know, are you hungry or so?"

Not that I knew how to make something to eat, but I think I'd find the cereals again, who knows if he had had breakfast yet, I was just trying to do what I thought would be right if I was babysitting for real here. "No, can we watch TV? Please?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever you wanna do." Good, there were none of my very bad skills needed, besides Niall got really happy with my answer, he let go of me just to nearly jump up and down, his smile was too big for a simple thing like that. The fact alone that he had asked for permission was very strange to me, this wasn't my house.

"Come on!" His energy was unbelievable, before I could even fully get a grip of what was going on, he was holding my hand like last night, pulling me to the door, over excitedly as if I had told him we'd be going to Disneyland or something.

"No need to run, we got enough time." I laughed even if it got me thinking a little, I wondered if Zayn ever watched TV with his little brother. Or anybody else.

"Sorry…" Well, and the fact that just one comment killed all of his happiness wasn't to be overlooked either.

"Hey, no, that's fine, I didn't mean it like that, okay? We can watch whatever you want." Really, even those cartoons from earlier that looked a lot like something I usually cringed at.

"Really?" The smile came back when I nodded, squeezing his hand slightly in an attempt to make up for obviously saying something wrong even if I didn't know what the problem had been, I just nearly sighed in relief at Niall taking up talking too fast about random stuff again. As if he was scared I'd disappear before he had told me everything.

Even though I was probably the one most surprised by this, but it was nicer spending time with Niall than I had thought, when he asked if we could watch DVDs as well I agreed immediately, hoping that he owned better movies than those kids shows we had been watching for about fifteen minutes now, which made his eyes sparkle before he nearly fell over his own feet from jumping up so quickly. I was about to reach out and catch him, but there was no need to luckily, all he did was giggle while I tried to calm down from nearly having a heart attack. Like, who knows what could happen if he fell onto his head or something, I was losing my mind, clearly.

"Is this okay?" After going through the drawer of all his movies for a bit, creating a mess from what I saw, he came back holding up Finding Nemo.

"Sure, that ones good, I like it too. You need help putting it in?" Actually, I didn't wait for him to answer, I just got up, hoping that I'd figure out how this DVD player worked because I didn't want to see Niall's face turn sad again, it was horrible.

"Yeah, my mum always does it for me…" Well, I hoped that at least she stayed to watch TV with him because from what I've heard even in this short time, both his dad and Zayn had made him cry.

"Let's see…you can sit down meanwhile if you want to, I'll have this figured out in no time, you'll see." All I got was a giggle for that, but he left me alone to solve this problem, maybe falling down behind me because I heard something, but as I turned, all I could see was him on the couch, with his fingers in his mouth while watching cartoons again.

I started to wonder if my mum would also be satisfied if I just spent time with Niall instead of Zayn next time she would force me to come over again, I mean, they were both her best friend's sons, it shouldn't matter which one I liked better right. Everyone would win in this situation, I just needed to remember coming up for a reasonable explanation that didn't end with 'I hate Zayn'.

"Ha!" After too long actually, I walked back to Niall with the remote in my hands, quite proud of myself because this was one hell of a DVD player.

Niall just smiled, I appreciated the fact that he hadn't whined around about me taking forever to fix this, he was just happy when I sat down next to him, switching the channel. Watching Nemo now sounded a lot better than walking home for an hour, luckily I hadn't stormed out before like I had planned.

It took exactly eight minutes before Niall scooted so close to me that he could lean against my arm, not that he was tired or so, he made it seem like it had been an accident, even I would've believed it if he had commented it, which he didn't, because he was busy enlightening me with all of his thoughts to every single thing happening in the movie. Even if it had exactly nothing to do with it.

"Who's your favorite? My favorite is Dory, because she's blue and blue is my favorite color. Did you know that Sydney is in Australia, I learned that in school. What food do you like best, Liam? I like Pizza, but my mum says it's really unhealthy but I don't care." And so on.

Maybe my answers would've consisted of more than single words, if I hadn't been so sleepy my eyes dropped shut every few seconds, only so I opened them again in shock when Niall laughed. And just for the record, he laughed at everything, it wasn't even forced or so, he genuinely found this movie hilarious, which made me smile slightly, closed eyes again.

"Liam! You can't sleep now!" Of course, he noticed after some time, poking my arm that he had been holding onto for the last few minutes.

"I'm awake…" Barely.

"No, your eyes are closed." I let them flatter open just for him, being met by his face nearly in front of mine, I had slipped down a little and Niall was probably up on his knees, not that I bothered checking.

"They're not, see?" It made me laugh slightly when he rolled his eyes and sighed, I don't know, I hadn't expected him to do something like this.

"But if you sleep now then you can't sleep tonight, that's what my mum always says."  Which maybe was right for him but I could practically sleep whenever I wanted to. Except for last night.

"Good thing I'm awake then." Maybe I should've tried sticking to that, but I wasn't sure if I would manage it, I felt as if I had to pass out every second even if he was still looking at me.

"No, you're not." Niall was seriously pouting after that, he sat back down though to watch the screen again, making me feel bad, because, well, I had promised to do whatever he wanted, right.

"Yes, I'll watch it with you now. I had a fish once and he looked exactly like Nemo, maybe it was him." This wasn't even made up or anything, maybe I could even slightly remember how Zayn and Niall had been at my old house with their parents, like, eight years ago, and how I hadn't allowed them to go any nearer than one meter.

"I don't believe you." He crossed his arms, which looked quite funny, but I held back my laughter, knowing that he'd play mad even longer if I didn't.

"You're calling me a liar?" It was actually quite strange how much it bothered me that there was a possibility he'd stop babbling about every random thing that came to his mind now, other people would be glad.

"Maybe." Was all Niall said, not turning his head again to look at me, he just pretended to be watching the movie, clearly in a twist whether he really should believe me or not.

"Well then…" Without really spending a thought, only that I hated how quiet he had gone all of a sudden, I started tickling him, figuring it was okay since even now he was leaning onto me, obviously not afraid of touches.

"NOOO-" His laughter and squealing nearly hurt in my ears, I held him close so he couldn't escape, quickly stopping again though, I had tried my best to be gentle but you know, if I hurt him in the end I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.

"Seems as if someone's a little ticklish." As soon as I let go, he looked up at me, still half giggling, which was really cute, and also relieving because I had suddenly feared he might be mad at me again. This was going too far.

"That wasn't fair!" Niall's face was too happy for this statement, he went back into his original position again, not minding when I put my arm around him, maybe he even liked it because he curled up next to me, waiting a few seconds. "Did your fish really look like Nemo?"

And we went back to normal just like that.

-----

I did sleep in, during the last twenty minutes, with Niall half on top of me, not complaining this time, he was tired as well now and his yaws were the cutest thing in the world. After everything else he did.

So that's how his mum woke us up, I was pretty confused at someone saying my name, my hand grabbing something strange that I could identify as Niall's shirt later, and the strange weight on me turned out to bis head. "Liam? Where's Zayn?"

"Umm… he's…" Right, he hadn't told me to lie. "At his girlfriend's house. Emergency or so." I added the last part, because I thought it sounded better than simply saying that he had left, we didn't get along, which didn't mean that I was gonna be an asshole.

"You didn't have to stay, Niall can be alone by himself for a few hours." No. Looking at this whole situation, he could, but it wasn't recommendable and if I were his mother I wouldn't dare to, and why would you even want to.

"Well, I didn't mind, besides, my phone ran out of battery." Niall sat up a little now, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles which nearly made me coo at him. "And we had fun, didn't we?"

"Mhmm…" The reason why it sounded like this was because he was still tired, twisting his hand slightly into my shirt without really noticing I believe, but I kept my arm where it was, to be sure. "Mum..."

She sat down beside him when Niall spoke up, slightly brushing his hair back even if he remained close to me. "What, baby? Liam was really nice for keeping you company, right?"

"Yeah… can he stay for dinner?" I wasn't really sure if I would want to, even if Niall seemed too excited all of a sudden for just waking up from a nap.

"Of course, if he wants to." Then she looked over at me, smiling slightly. "You don't have to, I can also call your mum to get you now if you-"

"No, stay for dinner, okay? Please?" The 'please' at the end of all of his requests seemed to be a thing, well, it was polite and adorable too.

"I wouldn't mind, if you want me to." I simply shrugged, really, I had spent all my day here, one more hour to keep Niall happy didn't matter anymore either, it was getting dark outside already anyway. Not that I had had plans or so, I never actually did.

"Yay!" Niall was about to jump up, all of his tiredness was forgotten, how the hell did he do that, I still felt on the edge of dying.

"He only wants to stay if you go and change out of your pajamas now, Ni." Ni… was that his nickname?

When Niall jumped up unexpectedly, I nearly fell forward out of surprise, the thought of me not staying seemed to get to him because even his mum pulled up her eyebrows at him half running to the stairs and yelling something that sounded like "But Liam sits next to ME!". Had I left that much of an impact? I highly doubted it, I had been here for only half a day.

"Oh wow, he really seems to like you. If it's getting too much you don't have to stay, you know, he gets clingy very easily, I can also tell him that you forgot you had to be somewhere or so, so he doesn't get too sad." She'd LIE to him?!

"No, no, it's fine, really. I should… probably umm… change as well." Right, now that I thought about it, I was still in training shorts and my sleep shirt, it had been okay with Niall but now it seemed kinda embarrassing actually.

"Alright. If you see Niall upstairs can you remind him that he still has maths homework to do, please?" For a second I didn't think about it and simply nodded while getting up, but then it hit me.

"Oh, I already helped him with that earlier, it's finished." No idea why this was such a big deal as well, but it seemed to be a big thing.

"Really? That is so sweet of you, Liam, thank you." Actually I think it was normal what I had done, but I got not chance to answer before she left so I thought to myself that it didn't matter anyway, I hadn't done it for anyone besides Niall after all.

Zayn had probably fallen over all of my stuff twice, so it took me some time to stuff everything back into my backpack and change into normal clothes, which was actually good because the last thing I wanted was having to be alone with Niall's parents, I hadn't seen them for years after all, it was rather awkward.

That's also why I decided to go check for Niall first, go downstairs with him if he was still in his room, yeah, it would make me feel better having him by my side, as weird as that sounded.

It turned out to be unnecessary to worry, because he was actually waiting for me by the stairs, in too big jeans and a hoodie now, playing with the strings before he saw me coming. "I hope mum makes fries."

"I thought pizza is your favorite food?" See, I had been listening after all, in between my 5 second naps, Niall was beaming after that question.

"Yes, but we only eat it on my birthday because nobody likes it as much as I do." Well, I didn't doubt that.

"Then you only have to wait one more week. Is your birthday on the 13th then?" I tried to remember it but nothing, all I knew was what he had told me last night.

"Yeah!" He nodded excitedly, jumping down the stairs next to me, I'm not kidding he was actually jumping and I thought I'd have a heart attack every time because he might slip, so I tried to focus on staying ready to catch him. "You wanna come too?"

"I'll think about it, okay?" Until then he'd have forgotten about inviting me anyway, he was hardly paying attention now either I believe. At least I hoped so, because as cute as he was, I still didn't feel like going to a kids birthday party.

"Mum, what's for dinner?!" See, he didn't even think about my answer, that was good, I didn't want to be the one who disappointed him.

While Niall yelled around in the house, I went to drop my backpack by the door, only going to the kitchen slowly, taking as much time as possible while doing so, as far as I could remember I had always been scared of Niall's dad as a kid, I mean I was 16 now, I should be able to deal with it, but still, wasn't really keen on meeting him again.

"… we ate that already yesterday, honey, why don't you carry those plates to the table?" Sounded like no fries for Niall.

"Niall, stop behaving like a baby now, you'll eat whatever your mum makes." And now I knew who Zayn came after, I usually didn't judge people like this, but it had been a short night.

"I'm not a baby!" The scene in the kitchen made me wish I would've also made up having to use the bathroom really badly, Niall was doing what his mother had told him yet it still looked very much like another family fight.

"Then don't behave like one. And no yelling, you know that. Ah, Liam, good seeing you again." I had decided that hiding would be rude, so I walked over to Niall's dad, shaking his hand even if he remained seated while Niall regularly threw glares at him over the table.

"You too, sir." Is that what you say, because I didn't know, I never met anyone's parents since I had not friends that would invite me to their house, ha, ha.

"Sit down, come on." For a second, I wondered if he would be offended if I didn't sit next to him, but then I met Niall's eyes and he was patting the chair on his left very obviously while staring at me, so I really had no choice, right?

So while I was forced to make smalltalk, at least Niall was pretty happy again, he started examining my wristbands when I put my arm on the table, playing with them but knowing better than to interrupt his dad, even if I would've welcomed it, I hated when all the attention was on me. Especially if it were topics like those. "So, first day in school tomorrow?"

"Umm, yeah." Great, thanks, it's not like I had been trying to forget that for the past few months.

"Is that the same school Zayn goes to, mum?" Niall directed his question at his mother even if she hadn't been part of the conversation at all, very strange if you ask me.

"Yes, and the one you'll go to when you're old enough." She smiled down at him while putting a bowl of spaghetti in the middle of the table, luckily, I was dying now to get home, this was getting stranger instead of better.

"That's right next to my school! You can visit me sometime, Liam." Right, because of this town being so small, high school and middle school were basically connected.

"I don't think he has time for that, Niall." God, why was dad so mean, I'd visit him now for sure, just because…and a little because at least I was sure that he liked me and no one else probably would.

Niall's face fell a little, but I winked at him, glad to see him smile brightly before deciding that spaghetti weren't that bad of a alternative option to fries.

The rest of dinner went better, mostly because Niall couldn't shut up anymore which meant nobody really payed attention to me anymore and also because his dad got a phone call and left the table for so long I didn't see him anymore that day, which meant that Niall got even more talkative.

When my mum picked me up fifty minutes or so later, Niall hugged me again, much to the surprise of both our mum's, telling me that I should come visit him again soon, which was freaking adorable so I just agreed, not thinking that he'd remember that anyway, just like before.

"So, how was it?" It sounded unsure, probably because I had my head leaned against the car window next to me.

"Fine… I guess. I didn't sleep a lot." I couldn't be honest of course, it would've also been really rude and besides nothing would've changed anyway.

"Where was Zayn anyway?" God, how'd she get from 'I didn't sleep' to Zayn?!

"At his girlfriend's house. I couldn't call you because my phone was out of battery, so I stayed with Niall, but that was fine as well." More than that actually, it gave me the feeling that the whole day hadn't been wasted.

"Aw, he's such an adorable little boy, I didn't know you were into kids so much, Li, but from what I've heard he loves you." I wouldn't go that far but okay.

"Yeah… he's cute, I guess." What an understatement.

I didn't bother pretending to unpack my stuff when we got home, I just went straight to bed, at least now I wouldn't be awake the whole night trying to calm down because of school like I had feared, I slept in after like five minutes, not spending another thought on Zayn or Niall or anybody else.

Which, of course, also meant that I woke up again without any preparation at all, I was lucky enough to hear my alarm to start with.

My mum worked late, which meant that I was alone in the mornings, well, me and my cat, Loki, not that I minded, I even got to take the car because we basically lived right next to where my mum worked, only a few streets down.

The way to school turned out to be a little difficult to find, maybe it was my lack of motivation to get there in the first place, I had tried to waste as much time as somehow possible, find a good excuse for why I had to be late, but I found none, so I ended up in the car anyway. Well, I could still be late every day for the rest of my two years here, maybe a good start might help, who knows. Not that that would help me fitting in here better than anywhere else.

In fact, I was so nervous, I stayed in my car for a little bit longer than necessary after parking, watching a few people walking by, somehow still hoping that I might see Zayn and suddenly change my mind so we could become best friends and I wouldn't have to worry about anything.

That never happened though. The only success I had was asking someone for the way to my first class after getting lost five time and not dying of embarrassment or even stuttering. "Alright, thanks…"

"Hey, wait. Have I ever seen you here before?" What kinda of a question was that after I had just confessed that I didn't know this building.

"Umm, I'm new." I wanted to go, but this boy was way too interested to just leave, I didn't wanna make enemies the first day, so I stayed.

"Oh, okay. I'm Louis, what's your name then?" He looked strange, kinda, I mean, his clothes, not he himself. God, I was such a freak.

"Liam. Liam Payne." Did he want my last name as well, now that I thought about it it was rather weird that I-

"Liam?! Are you serious, oh god, don't you remember me? I knew that you seemed familiar to me, I can't believe you're back, I gotta tell Harry about this. How are you?" Wait, wait. He actually knew me?!

"I-I… I'm not sure if I…" And then it hit me.

Sure, Louis Tomlinson, we had gone to school together for a year maybe, he and Harry had been like attached by the hip so we had never really hung out because I would've been the third wheel, so that's why I had been mostly running after Zayn, even if in his group of friends, I had been the seventh wheel. A perfect description of me.

"Oh." Was all I said then because, what else could I have said, I couldn't believe he had remembered me over all those years, I had been mostly quiet.

"Wow, not so much excitement, please." Louis laughed, patting my back, seemed as if everyone here was affectionate as fuck. With Niall it was alright, but I wasn't sure now. "Seriously now, why'd you move back, everything alright?"

"Yeah, sure. It was my mum's decision anyway, so." Truth was, my parents had gotten divorced, I didn't see a need to tell him that though.

"It's pretty cool that you're back if you ask me, this school is full of boring people, we can need some new ones like you." Boring. Yeah, well, I'd probably fit in better than I had thought. "Where's Zayn? Weren't you two like, best friends or something like that?"

"Umm… we kinda… lost touch and stuff, so, yeah…" I didn't wanna be associated with him again, so I thought it was better to just say how it was, maybe I'd manage to be friends with Louis this time, provided he and Harry weren't all over each other anymore. But even then I would've been glad actually.

"Oh, well that sucks. So you don't have anyone here, huh?" Thanks for pointing that out.

"Not really, I… this is my first day." I tried to defend myself, which was unnecessary, in a few days I'd be sitting alone at lunch again for everyone to see again. Fun.

"Don't worry, you got me and Harry, I'll see you later, okay? Good luck. And before I forget it, if a teacher makes you introduce yourself say something funny, it helps with first impression and stuff, trust me." Okay, all I heard was that I had already messed up.

"Thanks, Louis." As I turned to go, I was pretty much already convinced that he was regretting talking to me, but I was proven wrong. Very wrong.

"Liam!" Half the hallway turned at him screaming, it was impossible to overhear, I could feel myself blush when I looked back at him, some people laughing next to him. "I forgot to tell you the best part, I finally came out!"

"Nobody wants to hear your gay sex stories, Tomlinson!" Somebody yelled back, but I barely noticed, I was stuck with my mouth dropped open, why'd he tell me that, NOW and LIKE THIS?!

"Shut the fuck up, I know you have a thing for me! See you later, Li!" He remembered my nickname, but WHAT THE HELL?

At least thanks to Louis' little breakout, I wasn't so nervous anymore, I was stuck analyzing this now, there was something, hadn't Louis even been in love with Harry when we had been younger? I think he had even told me, so maybe that's why I always left them alone, well, good for Louis that he had come out, and not good for me because now the only people who came close to friends were probably all over each other. So much about not wanting to be the third wheel anymore.

That day was even worse than I had thought, I didn't have to introduce myself like I had feared, but nobody talked to me either, I think they didn't even notice me. Which was probably better anyway, being invisible was still more bearable than knowing for a fact that people ignored you on pure purpose. Or so.

At lunch, I didn't see Louis or Harry, Zayn was there though, but I made sure to disappear before he saw me, the last thing I needed now was being invited to sit with him and his friends just because his mum would get mad at him if he didn't. Speaking about that, it would've been a good chance to go visit Niall, I literally caught myself wishing he'd just pop up somewhere and babble again without ever taking a breath in between so I wouldn't have to pretend to be doing homework now on my first day. But I did, unfortunately.

------

I could easily label this week as the most boring I had ever experienced, which was my own fault alright, because I never left the house once except for going to school. On tuesday Louis somehow found me at lunch and forced me to sit with him and Harry, I agreed, because I had no excuse not to besides I was getting lonely and at least it was only the two of them. They touched a lot, but I was included into their conversations, so it was okay I guess, also they said it was fine if I just came up to them whenever I wanted to. Something told me this was just out of pity for me but if I tried hard enough I could ignore that.

On sunday, I decided I needed to stay in bed because I lied to myself and pretended that I was all exhausted from school, that's also what I told my mum so she wouldn't even think of coming to disturb me.

The fact that no one had been too sad about me moving away was also the reason why I thought my heart would jump out as my phone started going off unexpectedly, even stranger was the fact that ZAYN was calling me. Must've taken the wrong number. "Yes?"

"Hi, Liam, umm… listen, this is probably strange, but I need your help." I sat up now since this sounded more serious than I had thought, my cat jumped off my stomach, annoyed with me since she had been lying there for a good hour, also Zayn seemed a lot like he wanted to flick himself off a cliff for needing my help.

"What's up?" Something was in the background, but I couldn't hear well enough to identify it.

"You know, when you stayed at my house last week and watched DVDs with my brother and all that, well, he hasn't shut up about you since then and that's why you're the one I'm calling." It was something with Niall? Wow, I had nearly forgotten last sunday, but now that Zayn had mentioned it, I noticed that I immediately listened up because I somehow cared about Niall.

"Is he okay?" Obviously not.

"No… okay, listen, it's his birthday today, you know, and I was supposed to watch the kids play and stuff because my parents are busy, anyway, none of his friends came and Niall's up in his room crying and I have no idea what to do, because he keeps yelling at me." Aww, shit, no. This broke my heart, he had been so excited about this, he didn't deserve it, what was wrong with his stupid friends, kids could be such assholes, seriously.

"I can… come over and maybe try and calm him down?" Actually I was already searching for my jeans so I wouldn't have to drive over in sweatpants, Zayn's approval of this was not really essential for me right now, if he didn't want me to come over then he could go fuck himself.

"Yeah, that'd be great, please." He sounded so relieved, it got me mad, didn't it make him think that his little brother didn't want to talk to him? I'd b fucking devastated if Niall would treat me like this.

"Okay, see you in a bit." I didn't wait for a reaction but rather hung up right away, finally finding what I had been looking for. My hair was a freaking mess but it's not like I had to impress anyone and anyway, Niall was more important now, if Zayn's attempt to comfort him were as good as I thought then he was currently downstairs watching TV, completely ignoring his little brother.

"Mum, I'll borrow the car, I'll be over at Zayn's." See, the good thing was that if it was for hanging out with Zayn (or pretending to) I could have the car whenever I wanted to, no further explanation needed.

"Alright, tell him I said hi." Mhm.

At least I remembered this way, even if I hated the car so much I had been looking forward to not having to use it the whole weekend, I gladly did it for Niall. Right, Niall, I didn't have a birthday present for him, it wouldn't help calming him down if what Zayn had said was true and he hadn't stopped talking about me all week, maybe he also remembered how he had invited me to his party as well and I hadn't showed up either then. And now I did, but without a present and only after Zayn had called me. Shit.

Due to the fact that I had absolutely no idea where to quickly get him something now, I decided that it was more important to go and see him as fast as possible, if he calmed down then I could still tell him that he should tell me what he wanted and I'd buy it later or so.

Zayn opened me up immediately, that was a first, he really seemed clueless, actually, it was surprising that he even cared at all. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem. Is Niall still in his room?" Probably, I wouldn't wanna come out either if he were him.

"Yeah… I really don't know what to do, mum is gonna kill me when she comes home." Oh, so that was why, he was trying to save himself.

"Why did nobody show up?" It hit me especially because well, I kinda knew how it felt. Only if other than Niall I had not bothered inviting anyone because I had been expecting it all along.

"I don't know… I'm not sure if he even has friends, you know. And maybe he didn't notice it until now. Please try and fix this, okay? I know that he really likes you, maybe it makes him feel better when he sees that you're there." I hadn't thought I could feel even worse, but what Zayn had just sad managed to do that, this was really awful, poor Niall.

"Alright, I'll try my best." Since I knew the way obviously, Zayn let me go by myself, not that I needed him anyway.

I tried to come up with something smart to say but my mind was somehow blank and then I was already at Niall's door, knocking slightly, without planning this. "Niall? It's me, Liam, can I come in?"

"N-No! Go away!" Oh.

There was no lock, probably because things like this had happened before, but I still didn't want to go in just like that if he didn't want me to. "Please? I promise it's gonna be okay, Ni…"

I had used his nickname on purpose, it seemed appropriate, however he didn't react to that, which was still better than being rejected or getting yelled at. That's why I just opened the door up, pulling it close again behind me when I saw that Niall had buried himself again under a mountain of pillows and stuffed animals, maybe that's what he always did when he was sad. Kinda depressing to think about that he had a routine for cases like this one.

"Hey, Niall, don't you wanna look at me for a second?" As I sat down on the edge of his bed, I felt him moving, probably away from me, but I didn't spend much of a thought this time and started searching for Niall beneath all this stuff, which wasn't hard, even if he held onto his blanket tightly then. "I'm sorry about your party, really, but if you talk to me it'll be better, I promise, I'll fix this."

"You cannot fix this…" He sniffed, not strong enough to hide his face under the blanket any longer as I started pulling it back, revealing a very red-faced, crying Niall with his stuffed horse pressed to his chest. Wow, I would've literally done anything right now to see him happy again.

"Niall…" I mumbled, leaning over him so I could easily reach his face with my hand, drying his cheeks slightly, which he didn't mind at all. I know that I had held back last sunday, but today was completely different, Zayn probably hadn't offered cuddles or even comforting words so I decided to cover both those things since I knew that Niall wasn't exactly shy if you spent more than five minutes being nice. "Come here, come on, Ni."

For a second, he hesitated, rubbing his left eye slightly, sniffing before sitting up and climbing into my lap as I held my arms open for him, hugging him to my chest when I felt him snuggling his face into my shirt. He was so cute and small, no idea how Zayn had managed to go fucking downstairs instead of cuddling his little brother to death.

"I'm really sorry, Niall. But look, it's not so bad, I know you've been really excited, but you'll have a lot more birthdays to come and I promise you that we can do anything you want today, I'll buy you anything you want as well." If I could afford it, but I wasn't as worried about this as I was about Niall shaking right now.

"But… my dad promised he'd be home for today but he and mum both aren't here and then… n-nobody from my class came b-because they say I'm w-weird…" Before I got to react, he was sobbing again, louder now, wetting the front of my shirt while holding onto me so tightly, it almost hurt.

"I'm so sorry, you're not weird, Niall, you're really awesome and I like you a lot, okay? I'm sure your mum and dad wanted to be home but maybe something really important happened, I don't know where they are but they regret it terribly for sure, whatever it was, you're more important and I know they'll make it up to you." They better.

"But why did no one want to come, on Zayn's birthday there are always a lot of people…" Right, because according to what I've heard from Louis and Harry last week, he always threw a hell lot of parties and his and Niall's parents basically payed for everything, but try explaining that to a eleven year old.

"You know what? On my last birthday nobody came either. It's not important if a lot of people come or not, okay? It doesn't mean they don't like you, and you're not alone, right? Zayn's here and I'm here too, we really care about you, I promise. And your friends are really dumb for not coming because now you'll be the only one I'll take to get some pizza. If you want to, I mean. And Zayn, if he wants to come too." I wasn't really sure if Zayn cared that much in the end, I also didn't care to be honest, I'd actually preferred it if he stayed home.

Niall kept his face hidden for a bit after that, sniffing until I saw the tissues on his bedside table and handed him a clean one, letting my fingers brush through his hair because it seemed the right thing to do, keeping him close with my free arm because he was still clinging to me. "Really?"

"Yes." No idea what he had referred to with that, but I had meant everything I had said. "So, you want to come eat pizza with me?"

He leaned back a little, his face wasn't as happy as I had hoped, but at least he had stopped crying now and there was the hint of a smile as I rubbed my thumb under his eyes to catch the last tears. "Yeah."

"Okay, we can go whenever you want to. And also wherever, if there's some other place, just let me know." Good thing I had the car and a full tank, the only places I could think of were the movies and the mall, because I still didn't know what present he wanted from me, so I'd just take him there later.

"You wanna see what I got from mum and dad and my grandma before?" Finally, he managed to smile, which made me return it immediately, pretty relieved as I hugged him a little more before answering.

"Of course I do, show me." He laughed a little as I poked his tummy, climbing out of my lap to gather a few things that he had most likely been throwing around before, that's how his room looked at least, as if a bomb had exploded in here.

Niall just dumped all the things next to me on the bed, I made a little more room, thinking he would sit down as well, but he just looked at me, in such a cute and innocent way, I reached out for him again, surprised by how light he was when I lifted him back into my lap, quite enjoying how he adjusted automatically, leaning back against my chest.

"Okay, what is all this stuff, tell me." I really was interested now, besides anything that distracted him just the tiniest bit was good enough now, so I reached out, keeping one arm around Niall's stomach so he wouldn't fall down before grabbing something grey and fluffy. "Is that a cat?"

"No, Liam! That's a donkey, it's a friend for Marshmallow." But he laughed nevertheless, over my stupidness I suppose, well I would've been able to guess right as well, but maybe I had just hoped to cheer him up a little with playing dumb.

"Oh, I see. What's his name? Or hers, sorry." Niall took it out of my hands now, I couldn't see his face but I think he was still smiling.

"I haven't thought of one yet. But look what else I got!" With that he leaned forward, making me tighten my arms, just in case, getting some other stuff, not leaving out one thing or any detail that could maybe be important some day. But probably not.

It made me wonder if Zayn had gotten him something as well, I hoped so but I doubted it, well, I couldn't exactly blame him because I hadn't gotten him anything either, yet.

When we had gone through everything, and it really was a lot of stuff, he was still in my lap, sideways now, so I was able to look at his face once a while, which had remained happy now. "Those are some pretty cool presents, Ni, you're really lucky. No tears anymore today, okay? Promised?"

"Okay, promised." Since he insisted on giving me a pinky promise, I assume that he would keep it, well, if he didn't at least I'd be there to comfort him, but he seemed like his old self again

Before we walked downstairs, Niall thought about cleaning his room up because he said that Zayn might get mad at him, I told him we could ditch it today because it was his birthday, thinking to myself that I would fucking kill Zayn if he said one word now, he had been in the living room watching fucking TV the whole time, even before calling me from what I've heard from Niall.

"You wanna ask your brother if he wants to come too?" You know, I didn't want for him to agree now, but I knew he loved Zayn and it wouldn't be right to exclude him from this just because I was being childish.

"Hmm…" Niall thought about it for a bit, he was jumping down the stairs again, but holding my hand this time so I felt a little better while watching him. "No."

"You sure?" Well, he wouldn't have deserved it anyway, I could imagine that Niall would play mad at him now for not coming to comfort him or getting him a present, but also tomorrow he'd have forgiven him again.

"Yes." It sounded pretty convinced, so I didn't ask any further questions, knowing that I'd still have to tell Zayn where we were going.

As we passed the living room, Niall wanted to just pull me past and to the front door, but I stopped, making it impossible for him to go on since we were still holding hands. "Hey, Zayn, is it okay if I bring Niall back later?"

"Let's gooo." The pull on my arm was barely noticeable, Niall whined a little but gave up quickly when he realized I wouldn't move.

"Oh, Niall, you're out of your room, are you okay again?" Zayn even came over, really surprised at seeing us like this I believe, he smiled at me though after being ignored by his brother. "Thanks, Liam, really. Bring him back whenever, but take a house key because I might not be here to open up."

"Alright, see you later." Probably not, I doubted that he'd stay here if he didn't have to, after what Louis and Harry had told me he was friends with half the school now and being forced to have a sleepover with me had probably been his worst nightmare.

Niall was really excited, he even told me I was putting my shoes on too slowly a few seconds later, about to slip out the door without a jacket when I realized and stopped him. "Hey, hey, wait, it's cold outside."

"I don't want to put on a jacket." Even though he was whining about it for a second, he gave in to me quickly, especially when he saw that I had a jacket on as well then he suddenly didn't mind anymore.

I even found a spare key, because Zayn had disappeared upstairs without showing me where it was, so I had to check because I didn't really trust Niall's 'Just take one of those keys, they're all the same, aren't they' because I wasn't sure if he knew what the purpose of keys was.

"Is this your car?" He seemed pretty impressed already when I told him that I got a driving license, telling me that Zayn had failed his test which nearly made me laugh, but I held back saying that it had been pretty hard.

"No, my mum borrowed me hers, I don't have a car. Wait, do you still need a car seat?" There might have been one in the trunk, I wasn't really keen on being stopped by the police or something like that, or putting Niall in danger.

"No, I'm eleven." It came out a little offended, knowing there was a great chance he was lying.

"Are you sure? It's really dangerous without, you know." I knew it was something with height, he looked pretty small to me but I wasn't gonna measure him now, so I'd have to trust whatever he said.

"I'm sure." Then he sighed, letting go of my hand as I unlocked the car, going for the backseat. "But I gotta sit in the back."

"Why that face? In the back is way more space, be happy, I like sitting in the back more, if I'm not driving that is." That wasn't true, I just didn't want him to get anything near sad or feel anything besides happiness.

"I don't know…" Even if I felt the need to watch him getting inside as well, I let it be, walking over to the driver's side, he wouldn't like it if I constantly checked anymore, he wasn't a baby anymore even if I felt like treating him like one just to be sure everything was alright.

"Okay, any special requests?" I used the chance that I was looking back at him to check if he had his seat belt on properly. "Or is Pizza Hut okay?"

"Yes! I wanna go there, I've never been there but I heard Zayn talking about it." Good, because I didn't know the way to any other places and I wanted to let Niall choose so this was perfect.

"Alright then. Do you want me to turn on the radio or … or you could just tell me how your last week has been." It was actually nice when he talked so that's why I said that, it made me feel calm and needed, besides his need for telling me about everything in his life seemed to be pretty big.

"But nothing really happened. I got the maths homework right where you helped me and everybody was really jealous because I was the only one. And this girl in my class, she brought her cat to school and was sent home but I got to pet it first and it was really cute, I want a cat too but my dad is allergic." Listen to this.

"I got a cat." I don't know why I just blurted out with it, I should've known that it would make Niall all jumpy, which wasn't a good idea now since I was driving and all.

"Really?! What's it called?" Nobody had ever showed this much interest into my cat, it made me laugh a little when I saw Niall in the mirror as I stopped at a red light.

"Loki, like-"

"Like in The Avengers! That is so cool, what does he look like? Can I come some time and see him?" This was so sweet, I knew now what I'd be doing next weekend.

"He's black and white, and yeah sure, you have to meet him, he's really cute and cuddly." Plus, my cat didn't mind people holding him so Niall wouldn't get disappointed, perfect. "Are you allowed to watch The Avengers though?"

"Well…" There was a little bit of silence, I could already guess what he'd say next. "Not all of it, but one time my parents weren't home and Zayn said I could watch it if I wouldn't come into his room when his girlfriend was there. But don't tell my mum and dad, okay?"

"No worries, I've forgotten about it already." Actually not because ugh, what the hell was Zayn even thinking, I really hoped Niall had stayed out of his room for real and saved himself from that sight.

I took the wrong way despite the knowledge I thought I had kept, but Niall found it pretty hilarious, just like nearly everything else I did or said, so it was okay in the end, especially later when Niall was really happy again to hold my hand. No idea why this seemed to be such a great thing, maybe because Zayn didn't let him hold his or something, but I was pretty glad because I could make sure he'd keep a distance from driving cars or wouldn't run off all of a sudden.

Also, I let Niall drink coke, which I partly regretted after he told me that he usually wasn't allowed to do so, but only because it was unhealthy and not because he was allergic or something, I just hoped he wouldn't tell on me. Even though, seeing his face when I also bought him ice cream after the pizza, I was pretty sure he'd do anything I asked him to.

"Okay, what do you wanna do now? You wanna go to the mall and tell me what you want me to buy you for your birthday?" This was my biggest concern, I hadn't bought him anything and it made me feel really shitty to be honest, if his birthday wasn't today I might have piled him in presents just to make sure he liked at least one of them.

"Really? You don't have to buy me a present…" Aww, I would really buy him something now, whether he wanted to or not.

"Why not? I want to, it's your birthday and you even get to pick something yourself." Niall was biting his nails when I turned around in the front seat to catch a look at him, he seemed to be really unsure, or nervous, because I had noticed him biting his nails and fingers a lot.

"But you already bought me something." It was really impressive how held back he was, he was grateful already for what I had done even if it had just been taking him somewhere to eat.

"Yeah, but that was food, I'm talking about a real present. Come on, say yes or I'll get you the wrong thing if you don't tell me what you want." I reached back now, pulling his hand away from his mouth before keeping it in mine for a few seconds, wishing he'd smile back at me. "You know what, we'll just go there, you can still decide then, okay?"

"Hmm, okay. Thank you." This wasn't the first time he thanked me today, he had done it after everything I had bought, multiple times even, so it got me motivated even more to make sure he enjoyed spending time with me on his birthday and that I'd get all those smiles as a reward.

"You're very welcome, Ni." Clearly, he wasn't completely into my idea however his face lit up a little before I turned back again, I hoped that he'd agree later and see that I really didn't mind at all to spend my money on him, what else could I have used it for anyway, let's be honest.

"Nobody calls me this besides you and mum." But it fitted pretty well, it made his name cuter somehow.

"Do you not want me to call you that?" Honestly, I didn't know why he had pointed it out, also I couldn't exactly check what was up because there were other cars on the street as well and so, he hadn't sounded upset at all though.

"No, I like it. You can also come up with more nicknames if you want to." It sounded more like he desperately wanted me to which made me laugh, didn't people usually get mad if you called them some weird names.

"I'll think of something." Something that only I would use then, was that what he been trying to tell me?

The drive was pretty short but Niall found some topics he hadn't talked about yet so he started telling me about how excited he was for Christmas, yeah, I know it was September, I think he knew it too but he didn't seem to mind the wait. Also, I made a mental note to myself to at least remember getting him a present in time then, I usually only gave something to my mum and that was it, it'd be nice to give something to Niall because I knew how much he appreciated everything I did for him, it really made me feel better.

I considered myself lucky that Niall seemed to have gotten over whatever he had had against me buying him a present, at least I thought so when he came over to me after getting out of the car, half jumping, he seemed nearly hyper to be honest, or maybe it was just that he was happy. I hoped so, somehow even the possibility that I might have been the reason for his smile was very satisfying.

"Okay, where do you wanna go to? Anything you want." When I stretched my hand out towards him I didn't even realize it until he had taken it already, just as natural, as if we had been acting like this since always. "Toys 'R' Us?" Which was the only store I could think of right now, and also I hadn't been there in a while, maybe ever since I had been Niall's age.

"Okay." He looked quite happy about my suggestion, besides I had seen his room, so it couldn't be that bad of a choice right, he seemed and behaved quite like a little kid. Well, he was one, but not really.

It was kinda funny to be walking through a mall with Niall, because he got distracted by every little thing, I'm not even exaggerating, we had to stop a second because this woman had a really cute dog, that guys looked scary and anyway why would someone even buy salad at McDonald's and apparently every shop needed some commentary as well.

Somehow I knew the reason now for Zayn's behavior, he was probably deadly annoyed by his brother tugging on his hand and getting excited over the most common things, immediately thinking of something to say about it. On the other hand, I couldn't understand Zayn at all, it made me feel quite bad to be honest, the thought of nobody ever having so much time for Niall like I had, which was probably part of the reason why he was so hyper now. I didn't get it, if he were my little brother, I'd do anything to keep this smile on his face, it was a nice feeling, making someone so happy by simply being there, no one else would've appreciated me so much in ripped jeans and hair as if I had just gotten out of bed. I sort of had, actually.

When we finally reached the place we had been headed towards, Niall's eyes sparkled a little and I decided that my idea had not been bad at all. "So, you can pick whatever you want as long as I can afford it." Not that I thought he'd go crazy, it had been more of a joke actually, but thinking about it, I suddenly didn't mind the price anymore.

"Hmm…" For a little bit, he seemed to think hard before suddenly looking up to me. "Can I show you what Zayn said he'd get me?"

"Umm, yeah, of course." What? So, he had not only left him alone in his room but also promised a present he had never bought, wow. "Why did he say he would get it for you but didn't?"

"Because I didn't tell him what at first so he said he'd see if he had time but then I told him what it is and he said no." Before I got ask anything else, I nearly fell over some girl because Niall just pulled me along by my hand, obviously much smaller than me and easily slipping through people while I had to apologize about five times about bumping into them before we finally got to where Niall wanted to be. Stuffed animals, just like I had thought.

"Okay, so which one was it?" Fucking Zayn, couldn't even buy a stuffed animal. "And why did your brother say no?"

"Because…" Niall explained, looking around a bit. "He said it's too girly."

"That's bullsh- umm… not nice to say." Right, I couldn't swear in front of him, I was kinda worried now as I checked whether he had heard me but it seemed he was busy with pointing to something else.

To be honest I wasn't the smallest bit surprised that Niall had wanted Zayn to get him a stuffed unicorn, Niall was too small to reach up, but the look on his face made it kinda obvious that we wouldn't find anything else in this store he wanted.

"Well, if Zayn didn't get you one, I will. Which color?" There were a few colors however the fact that they all had sparkly horns probably had been one of the reasons for Zayn to say no, even if that's not a reason to be honest, because I found it cute as well, I would've also bought Niall dolls.

"Umm… it's okay… I'll find something else…" He seemed pretty embarrassed all of a sudden, not looking at me, which bothered me, because why would he be embarrassed or say no.

"Why not, Ni? It's fine." I let go of his hand gently to rub his shoulder instead, hoping he'd stop staring at the floor, but no.

"M-Maybe it really is too girly…" Well, I wasn't having any of this now.

"Come here." Without further do, I just stepped behind him, lifting him up without any problem at all, high enough so he could reach the unicorns by himself, steadying him with an arm around his stomach even if he really was extremely light. "Pick one."

"But-"

"Come on, Ni." Slowly, he reached out, getting the blue one, because that was his favorite color, see, I had been listening.

As I let Niall down again, he still seemed unsure, so that's why I decided that it was best to make him laugh.

"Okay, good, now that I know what I'll buy for myself, what do you want as a present?" I simply took the stuffie out of his hands, being met by a very confused face that quickly turned a lot happier.

"Liam! That's not funny!" Maybe he was a little too loud, some woman shook her head at me but I didn't care as long as I got to hear Niall laughing, half confused by what I had said.

"So, you want nothing then? Okay, I'l just quickly pay for this then we can leave." His mouth nearly dropped open, but as I walked backwards slowly, grinning at him he caught on, quickly catching up while giggling as he understood that I was just kidding.

"Stop, Liiaaammm!" It was really cute to watch him struggling with his attempts to get  the stuffed unicorn back, jumping up a bit as I held it higher, impossible for him to reach. "Pleeasee?"

"Okay, if you promise me something." Niall stopped immediately, getting more serious just like me and waiting for what I had to say. "No matter what Zayn says, you can like whatever you want, okay? And it doesn't matter if anyone thinks if it's girly or not as long as you like it. Promise me you'll remember that?"

"Yeah, I promise." Good, I felt a little weird after saying all this stuff, but I just wanted to make sure that he wouldn't be down or anything, it shouldn't have been my job to tell him things like that actually, but I didn't really mind.

"Alright, here you go. You can still have something else as well, you know." Who knows what other stuff he thought he wasn't allowed to have even if watching him now all happy with his unicorn made it hard to believe so.

"No, I don't want anything else, thank you." He was beaming and it made it very hard not to smile because damn, I loved seeing him like this.

"Happy?" Since it had become like a thing, I wasn't surprised when he slipped his free hand in mine again, half jumping up and down while we were walking.

"Yes!" I don't think that anything could've torn me down in this moment.

Just because it wasn't really late, I decided that I didn't want to drop Niall off just yet, this wouldn't have been a good birthday then but I wanted it to be.

That's why I suggested we could go watch a movie which made Niall's eyes go wide, telling me that he hadn't been there in over a year, making it pretty easy for me to decide that we would go even if I wasn't really into the movies appropriate for his age but whatever.

He liked popcorn, a lot, probably more than the movie itself, which was completely fine, as long as he was smiling, it was alright.

So when we walked back to the car, it was getting dark because I had only gotten to Niall's house at like three pm so now it was like seven, but I wouldn't have needed to look at the clock on my phone to know that it was late, Niall was living proof for that.

"Are you sleepy?" Sleepy probably was the wrong word, he looked like he would stumble over and take a nap on the ground, the only thing holding him up was my hand that I tightened as I noticed his condition.

"Mhmm…" That was probably a yes.

"I can carry you. Should I?" It wasn't that long of a way, but anyway, I wouldn't mind doing it.

"Okay…" Niall just stopped walking, letting go of my hand to rub his eyes a little, not flinching the slightest bit as I just lifted him up, placing him on my hip like a toddler, but it worked pretty well because he was so small and light.

"Sleep, it's fine, I got you." I kinda got really motherly feelings for him while holding him like this, he was all warm and cuddly, yawning quietly before just dropping his head on my shoulder, holding onto the back of my shirt slightly with one hand, trusting me completely.

There was nothing else to say, the warmth spreading in my stomach probably came from Niall warming up my side, even if maybe, just maybe, I really and truly started to care for him, my life didn't involve many people, especially none who seemed to need me this much, it was just nice and I liked Niall as well.

He slept in before I even reached my car, not waking up as I placed him in the backseat, trying to be careful and not accidentally choke him while putting his seatbelt on, placing the stuffed unicorn in his lap, just because. I had told him it would be better not to take it to the movies since I had been scared he'd drop it or spill something on it and be upset about it, even if Niall had had worries it would get too lonely in the car, he agreed with me after a bit of whining. Somehow I had a feeling he'd agree with everything I said.

The drive back to his house seemed unusually quiet now after having Niall babbling on and on for so many hours, but I was glad as well that he could sleep, when I checked on him quickly as I had to stop the car, he seemed peaceful, his fingers half in his mouth again, face nuzzled in his stuffie. Yeah, I admit it, that was pretty cute.

When we arrived, I didn't hesitate but open up the door in the back, about to unbuckle Niall's seatbelt when he started stirring.

"Are we home yet?" His words were really hard to understand, but I think I got it.

"Yeah, you can sleep on, I'll carry you inside, okay?" There was light in a few windows so I assumed that either his parents or Zayn were home, which meant I wouldn't have to wait for them. Not that I would've minded.

Niall just sighed sleepily, adjusting automatically when I picked him up and pushed the door closed with my elbow so I wouldn't let him drop. I wasn't sure if I really minded what anyone would say at me carrying him like this, Zayn especially, but it's not like he could've disliked me any more than he already did so I just rang the doorbell, rubbing Niall's back a bit because he mumbled something like "I'm cold" into my shoulder.

"Liam-… oh." Niall's mum quickly changed from being happy to seeing me to very surprised, but the smile didn't leave her face so I hoped that she agreed with me taking Niall somewhere.

"I hope Zayn told you that I-"

"Yeah, of course he did, no worries, love. You want me to take him?" Since Niall had probably dozed off again, I nodded, trying my best not to wake him while handing him over, even if his mum had more trouble holding him than me.

"I better go now… oh right here, Zayn gave me a house key, here. And that's Niall's." I had nearly forgotten that I was still holding Niall's unicorn, so I handed it over with the key, relieved because there would've probably been tears later.

"Did you buy him that?" Right, I didn't know if she approved, so I tried nodding carefully, about to turn and go back to the car. "Thanks, Liam, really, you didn't have to do that, but I'm really glad you did. He likes you a lot, you know, even more now probably."

"It was no problem at all, anytime, really. I just wanted him to have a good birthday." Which was risky to say I realized, but only after it was out, I was basically judging her for not being there which was none of my business at all.

Luckily she took it easy. "I'm sure he did, Liam."

"Alright I… better go now." It was pretty awkward like, I just waved quickly after throwing a last look at Niall's face, he was still tightly asleep, trying to smile back even if I probably failed dramatically at it.

Even if everyone would probably think now that I had done it because I had felt forced to, I was suddenly very sure that I'd be babysitting Niall again pretty soon and I didn't mind one single bit.

When I got home, there was another car in front of our house which made me think for a second before I decided that it was probably just one of my mum's friends or so, nothing I couldn't ignore with some good excuse about homework.

Turned out I was right, however not completely somehow because what the hell was Harry doing in my fucking living room?!

"Umm… hi, mum and-"

"Liam, do you remember Anne and Harry?" Right, my mum was friends with everyone from my old school, another reason why we had exactly moved here and not any other place in the world that I would've preferred.

"Yeah sure…hi." Why would Harry come here though sure, we hung out during lunch time and sometimes after Louis yelled inappropriate things at me in the hallways to grab my attention he always had Harry by his side.

"You go to the same school, don't you? That's perfect, you can go upstairs with him, Harry." What a great idea.

It's not that I didn't want Harry to follow me as I went for the stairs with yet another forced smile, I just didn't expect him to follow me because nobody really wanted to come to my house, but he did, surprisingly. "Where the hell have you been?!"

"Umm… I was babysitting?" Sounded appropriate enough, it was true as well, somehow, besides I was too shocked to hear Harry hiss at me like that, as if we had been planning that he would come over or so, as if it was my fault.

"I had to sit for two hours with your mum and mine and trust me it was no fun, even your cat got bored and went outside." Well…

"Then probably… you shouldn't have come along?" I didn't want to sound rude but I think he was smart enough to know that visiting your mum's friends was nothing you wanted to do on a sunday, I could write a book on that, or ten.

"I thought you were home, I… I wanted to talk to you." Now I listened up, because Harry blushed slightly, looking away from me, pretending to look around in my room as we reached it even if there was nothing to look at.

"Okay, well… you could've told me tomorrow at lunch then you wouldn't have to-"

"Without Louis. I gotta talk to you without Louis. Yeah. That's why." Now THAT made me uncomfortable.

"Why…?" Louis was his best friend, obviously, I didn't wanna get in their friendship, hell, I was just lucky they treated me like their friend at all.

"Okay… listen, I… I wouldn't be doing this but… there's nobody else I trust enough with this." He just let himself drop on my bed, as if it was natural, completely acting like this was his house and not mine.

"And you trust ME?" We had known each other for one year with a four year break in between, I don't know, I wasn't even sure if I would trust Harry if he said he would let me copy his homework.

"Well, I can't tell Louis and I thought that… you know, you don't seem like… like you would go off and tell somebody…" Right, because WHO would I tell, that was the point here, he didn't have to worry whether I kept the secret or not.

"Fine, what is it?" I sighed, giving in because he seemed pretty eager to tell me so I sat down on the bed as well, with a lot of distance though, hoping that this was nothing too freaky, I wasn't good with advise.

"Alright… I-I… I hoped you can help me because… because I think I'm in love with Louis." He just blurted it out after stuttering, looking straight at me, as if he couldn't believe he had just told me that.

And I couldn't believe it either, because, hadn't that been kinda obvious. "Well then… why don't you tell him?"

"TELL HIM?! Tell him? Liam, I can't tell him!" Okay…

"He's openly gay, Harry, he's been screaming it around in the hallways for the past week." I really couldn't see the problem here, Louis obviously had a thing for Harry as well, couldn't he see that?

"So what? If you like a girl and you know she's straight do you just go and tell her?" That was a point however completely different.

"No, but Louis is not just anybody, you've been best friends since I can remember and you're always all over each other, I actually thought you've been hooking up anyways." Everyone thought that, I had heard so many comments yelled at them it wasn't even funny anymore, but they didn't seem to mind.

"We have, once at-"

"Wait, wait, that's not what we're talking about." God, please, not so many details. "So why can't you tell him?"

"Because what if he doesn't like me back? Can't you try and find out if he does? Please, Liam? I don't wanna look like a complete idiot." Harry was pleading me now, he seemed pretty desperate as he begged, making me scoot back a little because he was coming so close, I didn't want him in my lap.

"If I get the chance to. Why would he tell me something like that though, we hardly know each other." Here we had it again, I also didn't know Harry but he was here in my bed spilling his heart out.

"He's really confident, he wouldn't mind telling you. Well, he has every reason to be confident as well because one time he slept over at my place and forgot to lock the bathroom and-"

"Okay, yeah, you like him a lot, I know. I'll see what I can do, okay?" God, why ME? I literally had no experience with stuff like this, I hadn't even had a girlfriend or boyfriend myself. Shouldn't surprise anyone.

"Thanks, Liam, really. I owe you." He was smiling brightly now, luckily keeping more distance but making no intend to get up or something, actually I didn't even know where he would go, it was just weird somehow. "So… why did you lie to me?"

"I- what?" Now I was the one surprised, Harry giggled a little, was he going insane, we hadn't even talked enough for me to tell him a lie.

"Your mum told us that you're over at Zayn's before, so unless you're not babysitting him then you lied to me before. Is it because you and him have a thing going and you don't want me to know, I wouldn't judg-"

"No! What the hell, Harry? I told you we're not close anymore, I was over there because his little brother, Niall, turned eleven today." And then we hung out all day long because obviously I had no friends.

"I didn't know he had a brother, hm…" It made him think for a second while I was still too shocked to speak another word, who the hell would think me and Zayn had a thing going on that was absolutely insane to even imagine. "So, does that mean you're not going to Zayn's party on friday?"

"I… why would I go there, I'm not even invited." But another question, where would Niall be at that time? And were is parents away, AGAIN?

"You don't need an invitation for Zayn's parties, Liam. Me and Louis haven't talked to him in forever and we still go sometimes and so do a lot of other people, he doesn't care. So, you're coming too, right?" Why was he so eager for me to come now, only because I had agreed to help him?

"I-I'm not sure, parties are not really my thing." And also I didn't feel like hanging out with my whole school on a friday.

"I know, that's why I asked. Trust me, I know you don't like going around talking to people but there are some cool guys. And girls as well, I'll introduce you okay?" This was a bad idea, a really, really bad idea.

Harry insisted on it, even if I told him no, twelve times to be exact, but he started texting Louis after a while to tell him that I would come as well and when Harry's mum called from downstairs that they had to leave, he also made us exchange phone numbers to which I had no argument.

------

The following week wasn't as bad as the last, even if Harry gave my number to Louis and they suddenly started texting me outside of school, but at least it looked like I had friends this way.

Also, Harry was in fact so grateful that he once hugged me which made Louis fake a coughing attack so we'd pull apart, making me wonder why Harry even needed a confirmation that Louis liked him. I never got the chance to ask him, and I also didn't really want to, I had no idea where to start anyway.

Niall came over once, with his mum, he was a little upset because I hadn't said goodbye to him on sunday even if he had been asleep, but it was all forgotten when I took him to my room and let him pet my cat for as long as he wanted to and let him tell me anything he felt like. Later, when they were gone, my mum told me that Niall had been whining around at home because he had wanted to hang out with me again, which was actually so cute, it made my heart swell, and I quickly suggested I could babysit him more often if he wanted to.

So on friday, I was really hoping that Harry and Louis had forgotten about making it their mission to force me to a party however I was disappointed when it was our only topic at lunch, and that they wouldn't mind picking me up which I denied because I didn't plan on staying any longer than it would take for them to forget about me so I could leave. Even if I made them promise me they'd wait for me to go in which caused them to share a smile, nothing unusual though, they definitely HAD a thing for each other.

After parking as far away as possible, just in case someone drunk would think that it was a good idea to break my windows, I got a text from Harry even if I would see him as soon as I walked around the corner, telling me that he'd 'disappear' one time at the party and that I should use the chance to take to Louis. Ugh, I ignored it.

"Hey, Li, there you are, we thought you'd pull out man, where've you been?" Contemplating whether I should kill myself instead of getting out of my car.

"There was traffic. Besides, I'm here now." Yeah and I regretted it already, the house was all too familiar and I could hear music that I didn't like.

"Don't pull such a face, I was planning on hooking you up tonight." Louis winked at me, throwing his arm around my shoulders to shove me towards the door, but I didn't fail to notice the way he slightly pulled Harry along by his jacket, as if to tell him that he hadn't forgotten about him.

"With who?" Who'd be willing to do that, had he paid someone? Not that I cared.

"Anyone you want." They laughed and I joined even if I had no idea why, I was just really uncomfortable and nervous as well so I was glad that the door was just open with about a hundred people inside.

Louis and Harry turned out to be fucking liars, not literally, but it was weird now, they seemed to know everyone, why would they still hang out by themselves all the time or even worse, with me?

I didn't ask that though, I was just glad when they didn't make me talk to their friends which turned out to be quite a common thing because they just pulled me along everywhere they went and started introducing me, which was really, really weird. God, I hoped Zayn wouldn't see me now. At his house. This had been a dumb idea, my worst yet.

"Hey, I'll be right back, okay?" We were currently sitting on the stairs, with a few of their friends, who didn't pay as much attention to me and Louis when Harry suddenly got up.

"Where are you going?" Unlike me, I was horrified, Louis seemed worried, really, there was no need for me to have a fucking talk with him!

"Just the toilet, I'll be right back." He gave me this intense look before leaving, something that should probably tell me he'd chop my head off if I didn't finally keep my promise.

"Hey, Louis, I-"

"Look, that girl over there. That's Danielle, she said you're cute, we should go over and-"

"Why are you so desperate to hook me up with someone?" Even if I laughed, Louis pulled a face at that before sighing, making me really insecure.

"I don't know. You seem lonely, don't take it personally." Wow.

"I'm not lonely, why do you want me to have a girlfriend? You wanna get rid of me?" It was a joke, simple as that, even if sometimes I wondered if he regretted making me sit with them.

"No, of course not, you're our friend, Liam. I was just thinking, you know, trying to help, that's all, I promise." This was not the kind of conversation I liked having, however it was the right topic.

"I'm fine, thank you. But if you need any help with some guys, you know." I couldn't just say Harry's name, could I?

"What? I don't need help from the new kid, thanks." He laughed, so I wouldn't take it the wrong way, but I felt his eyes on me as I looked away, accidentally making eye contact with the girl he had mentioned.

"So, you got it all figured out?" Now Louis was the one not wanting to meet my eyes, I stared at his profile, not sure what to think of him sighing almost inaudible.

"No… no, I don't." If he wasn't thinking about Harry now then I would jump off the roof top because I couldn't deal with having to dry tears that didn't belong to eleven year olds.

"Hm. And I thought the way you and Harry are all over each other meant that-"

"Wait, wait. You thought that me and Harry have something going on?!" The good thing was he wasn't mad, the bad was I had no idea which other way to take his surprised face.

"Well, you're pretty close." I tried carefully, watching Louis' expression very closely, no idea why I was even doing this, I should've just shut up and told Harry to grow some balls.

"Do you think we act like we're together?" Unfortunately not enough.

"I don't know… you do touch a lot. Why? Are you crushing on him?" PLEASE.

"What kind of a question is that?!" Right, because who the hell would even ask this if they could read it right in Louis' nervous face and his fingers twisting together while he let a laugh escape that didn't sound very much like a 'no' to me.

"I just wondered, sorry." Not.

"It's fine, sorry for getting loud. There's nothing going on, but I… well, he's not really into boys anyway so…" Definitely a crush, a very hopeless as well.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that…" That's what I mumbled, more to myself, but Louis never heard me because he was looking at something else, behind us which was weird because obviously nobody was allowed to go upstairs.

"Who's that?" Louis seemed more than confused, I decided to turn around as well and check, my eyes nearly falling out.

"Shit, oh god." What the hell was wrong with Zayn, I had thought that since his parents weren't there and there was a freaking party going on, Niall wouldn't be here either, this was crossing lines. "Niall, come here."

He looked very sleepy, rubbing his eyes while standing on top of the stairs, but a little scared as well, that was until he saw me stretching my arms out towards him then he tried to hurry up coming down to us, nearly falling over as I pulled him into my lap.

"What are you doing here, Ni? I thought you're with your mum and dad." Thank god I had been here, I didn't wanna know what would happen if he just went downstairs and saw all those strangers who were probably drunk as well.

"No, they're out and Zayn said if I stay in my room then he would play Wii with me tomorrow, but it's loud." I felt so bad for him, I hugged him really close to my chest, feeling him snuggle up against me.

"Liam?" Right, Louis. His face was more than confused which seemed kinda appropriate.

"Louis, that's Niall, Zayn's brother. You wanna say hi, Ni?" Not sure if I was the only one he got used to so easily, it seemed like it, because he buried his face in my neck instead of looking at Louis.

"Hi…" Well, that was a beginning, at least Louis smiled slightly, even if he was still very confused.

"Hi, Niall. Are you okay?" Kind of a weird question while seeing him like this.

"No… I'm tired, Liam. And thirsty." He directed it at me instead of keeping on talking with Louis, it made me feel better because well, Louis had done nothing to be liked by Niall, it was only fair.

"Should we go get something to drink and then I'll bring you back to bed? Okay?" It was really late already, for Niall at least, considering he had fallen asleep at seven pm last sunday and now it was like eleven.

"Okay…" I didn't want him to get out of my lap because I was pretty paranoid about something happening to him but he kinda had to in order for me stand up. His hair was all messy and he was wearing his pokemon pajamas again that made him look like he was five years old, immediately making me more protective.

"I guess I… I'll see you later?" Louis was smirking at me, I could've guessed why before as well but it was obvious when he watched Niall reaching out for my hand, half hiding behind me.

"You can also come, if you want to." I was just trying to be nice.

"No, it's fine, I'll wait for Harry." Oh right, I had to text him so he'd be able to come back.

"Alright." It was actually not a bad thing that Niall was here now, I was glad, really, I hated the fact that he had to be here while Zayn was throwing a party that kept him awake but at the same time I was happy I got to take care of him now instead of having to socialize.

After making a few steps, I realized this was not going to work, people would probably even fall over Niall because he was so small, so I quickly let go of him, picking him up instead. "This is better, right?"

"Yeah…" Niall seemed quite happy, he put his head on my shoulder again, turning more into me, he was probably scared of everyone here, something I understood too well. "I don't like so many people, Liam."

"It's okay, Ni, I'm here, I'll watch out for you, alright? You're fine." My words didn't seem to calm him too much, even if my voice sounded strangely soft, it turned like that automatically whenever I talked to Niall.

We got a few stares, of course, some girls made comments like 'Aww, who's that', but I focused on Niall instead, rubbing his back a little, trying to shush him quietly and even kissing his head once because it seemed appropriate. Also, I texted Harry quickly, just telling him that Louis was waiting for him and that I'd talk to him later because I didn't feel like it now obviously.

When we reached the kitchen, there was luckily nobody in there, it would've been weird and I didn't like people watching me from behind. So I placed Niall on the counter carefully, standing in front of him because he grabbed my shirt, almost in panic that I'd leave. "Hey, I'm here, okay? You wanna drink something now?" There was only a tiny nod, he was clearly horrified. "What do you want, Ni?"

"Can I have…" He got interrupted by having a hiccup, which was so freaking adorable plus the way he was rubbing his eye sleepily, I brought my hand up, stroking his hair slightly. "Hot chocolate?"

"Yeah, of course, tell me where the stuff is, I'll make you some, okay?" I had no idea if he was allowed to drink stuff like this at night but then again, why the hell not and also I would've given him anything he wanted right now, he was so sleepy and scared and sweet.

Niall was really anxious about me going away like, two steps, to get the stuff for his hot chocolate, good thing he was nearly sitting next to the microwave because I wasn't sure if he would've survived me going there twice. I hated Zayn for doing this to him, he clearly didn't like strangers, well, a lot of them at once, which was completely natural, they made me nervous as well, to be honest. But I was just weird anyway. "Liam…"

"Hm?" His hand was holding onto my shirt again while I freed his forehead from his hair almost falling into his eyes, worried because he was just whispering.

"Can I sit with you?" Aww, I couldn't believe he actually asked me this, I didn't know if I would've even survived if he sat by himself.

"Of course, we'll just wait until this is done, okay?" Either he was really sleepy or just wanted to cuddle, I wasn't really sure but he nodded, leaning his head against my chest so I moved my hand, caressing his back instead while we were waiting.

It was pretty annoying like, as soon as Niall's hot chocolate was done and I had put him on the floor again, a few people walked in and Niall nearly freaked out even though they completely ignored us, they just got something out of the fridge, alcohol probably, before most of them left again, besides three girls or so, they seemed a bit tipsy.

"You're Liam, right?" Alright, Louis sent them.

"Yeah…" I wasn't really in the mood for talking besides I had Niall with me and he was clinging to me, immediately waiting for me to pull him into my lap as soon as I sat down, so I did, making all of the girls coo at him snuggling his face into my shirt. Which I understood, because damn.

"That's Zayn's brother, isn't it? What's your name sweetie?" You could literally see them falling in love with Niall as I gave him the mug, with the straw he had requested, keeping my hand near it because I didn't trust his sleepiness.

"Niall…" He mumbled before turning his head away, drinking instead, with his head on my shoulder.

"Aww, he's so cute, are you taking care of him? Why's he even here, shouldn't he be asleep? Oh god, I wanna snuggle him, look at him." It went on like this, the whole time, they even sat down and it bothered Niall a lot, I could tell because he moved the whole time, so I tried to be comforting, holding him close since he clearly didn't like those girls. I didn't either but I agreed with them.

As soon as Niall was done, I saw my chance to get away from here. "You wanna go to bed now?"

"Mhm." He was really shy now, not even wanting to talk, I wondered why, he hadn't been shy when he had met me again after all this years, at least not after the first few minutes.

"Okay, gonna put you down for one second." I warned him, because he was all snuggled up in my lap and I wouldn't have been surprised if he started crying.

"Are you gonna bring him to bed now, Liam? I hope you sleep really good, Niall." Yeah, about that, it was actually nice but they were drunk as well so.

"Yeah, bye." No idea what else to say, I just quickly got to my feet and picked Niall up again because he was tugging on my shirt with a really desperate look on his face.

"I don't like Zayn's friends…" Niall whispered as soon as we were out of the kitchen, he wouldn't have had to talk so quietly actually because there were so many people talking and it was so loud in general.

"What about me?" I was just joking, I wasn't even Zayn's friend after all, maybe I just wanted to hear that he liked me.

"You're MY friend." That sounded pretty possessive but I didn't care because it was the truth.

"Yeah, you're my friend too, Ni." It would've been mean to not so say it back, he seemed pretty satisfied with my answer, cuddling back in my shoulder again, maybe even closing his eyes because I think he got a little heavier.

The stairs were empty now, I was glad somehow, I hoped that Harry had gotten a little drunk to get more courage and told Louis everything so I wouldn't have to try and get them together anymore, I was really bad at this stuff, my only talent was being there for Niall apparently.

Which brought me back to the point, I wasn't so sure anymore if he had really woken up due to the noise, because as I closed his bedroom door behind me, I couldn't really hear that much anymore.

Niall didn't make any attempts that he wanted me to put him down so I carried him over to his bed, checking his face to see his eyes half closed, pretty comfortable holding onto me however he also didn't really complain as I carefully put him down in his already messed up bed. The cute thing was that I noticed how he only slept with his stuffed horse and the unicorn that I had bought him, it made me smile because well, he had like a hundred stuffed animals.

"Li…" No idea if he was just too tired to finish my name or if he was just picking up on that nickname as well but I liked it.

"Yes?" He let me tug him, not letting me stand up from the edge of his bed though and holding my hand with both of his.

"Are you gonna go downstairs again?" Right, I hadn't thought about this yet.

"No until you're asleep, alright?" Somehow I had a feeling that he'd just follow me in case I'd just go, not that I would've dared leaving him alone while he was still awake.

"But I don't wanna be alone. I had a nightmare before, I'm scared." His face looked like he was telling the truth, but I had no idea if he was just trying to make me stay with this story.

"There's nothing in your room, you don't have to be sca-"

"Nooo, please stay here, Liam. Please?" It was hard to say no when he made this face, I didn't know why I hesitated, maybe because Harry and Louis were probably downstairs thinking I'd come back again or because I had planned on driving home again as soon as possible. But I couldn't leave Niall alone.

"Alright, I'll stay for a while." At least for as long as it would take him to fall asleep, and a little longer after that to make sure he wouldn't wake up anymore and notice my absence.

Niall had other plans, he sat up again, moving to the wall. "You have to lie down as well."

"I… alright." There was no use in fighting him on that so I got into his bed , half sitting up, half lying so he'd be satisfied.

"Promise you won't leave?" He was trying to nail me down to it, I wasn't really sure if I could have lived on with myself if I made him sad anyway so I sighed, nodding slowly.

"Fine, I promise." No idea why I did it, mostly because I wanted Niall to smile and be safe, partly also because tonight had made it clear again that parties were definitely not my thing. "But you have to lie down again."

"Okay." Niall was really happy now, he snuggled up against my side unsurprisingly, putting the blanket over me as well which was really sweet so I gave in and put my arm around his shoulders. "No one's ever slept over in my room."

"Why?" I shouldn't have asked this, even though the situation we were in right now could probably excuse that.

"I don't know… my friends are sometimes really mean and they always meet up without me and they never want to visit me." Ouch. That sounded a lot like my whole childhood.

"I'm sorry, Ni. That's not nice of them, but in a few years you'll be in high school and you'll see that school's not gonna last forever and you'll meet people who are real friends. I never had many friends at all either, two at maximum." Harry and Louis, who I had just ditched so maybe I'd have to start at zero again.

"But you're always gonna be my friend, right? Promise?" I don't know why but Niall somehow had the ability to make me feel like complete shit with whatever he said because I knew he wasn't trying to get anything out of it or saying something out of purpose, he truly meant it.

"Yeah, promise. Go to sleep now." The reason why I cut the conversation off like that was because it wasn't good if Niall relied on me so much, sure, I'd do anything for him by now but it would be recommendable if he had friends his age and not just me. Even if it warmed my heart a little, but still, in a year or so, we wouldn't be like this anymore anyway.

"Okay, goodnight, Li." His voice was happy as he cuddled tighter into me, probably almost asleep as I patted his hair a little.

"Night, babe…"

------

I woke up to someone poking my cheek and giggling right into my face, it wasn't really hard to guess who that was even if I somehow got confused about where I was for a second, but the options weren't very wide.

"Wake up, Liammm, it's already nine." ALREADY?!

"Sh, Ni, I'm sleeping…" It was pretty uncomfortable as well since I was wearing jeans and the bed was pretty small and if I wasn't mistaken something that felt a lot like a unicorn horn was stabbing me in the back.

"Nooo, wake up!" Niall was laughing, he was falling half over me, or maybe it had been on purpose, anyway I grabbed hold of his hips which made him squeal a little and pulled him down next to me again, hoping he'd keep quiet. "Liam. Liam. Liam."

Well, I had been wrong. I groaned while turning onto my back, blinking a little to see Niall leaning over me with a wide grin, he looked like he could run a marathon right now and I wanted to die. "Why are you awake?"

"I always get up at eight or nine." Right, oh god. "And I'm hungry."

"If you let me sleep for ten more minutes we can go eat breakfast…" That was my plan, that he disagreed with because as soon as I let my eyes drop shut for one second, Niall was leaning on my stomach in a way that nearly made me throw up, if he continued to jump around on me like that none of us would be able to eat anything for a while.

"But I want you to get up NOW." As if to help Niall, my phone went off a second after he had finished, he was now nearly sitting on top of me to top it off.

"Damn it…" Somehow I managed to reach past Niall to get my phone out of my pocket, not delighted at all to see Harry's name now. "What, Harry? It's nine in the morning."

"Wow, what happened last night, why are you so pissed off?" He laughed and I sighed, sitting up so now Niall slipped into my lap which he seemed to enjoy because he giggled. "And who's that in the background, oh my god, you-"

"That's Niall. So, what do you want?" It was hard, concentrating on a conversation on the phone while you had a child not wanting to sit still and nearly tugging your free hand off.

"Why are you with Niall?" If he would've just gotten to the damn point.

"I slept in after bringing him to bed so why are you calling me? Ni, please, I'll be done in one second." I added because Niall was pouting now, obviously wanting all my attention to himself.

"I wanted to ask what Louis told you yesterday since you didn't tell me and just disappeared." I should've known it had been a bad idea to just not come back but Niall had kinda needed me more than them so I didn't regret it.

"Look, I asked him if he had an eye on some boy and he acted weird so I said I thought you and him are hooking up and he was pretty surprised. And then he said that he doesn't think it would ever happen because you're not into boys anyway, that's all we-"

"WHAT?! I fucking showed him this porn side with gay-"

"Harry, I have a child in my lap." Wrong answer.

"Don't talk about me like that!" Oh god.

"Niall, I'm sorry, please calm down." He was trying to get away from him now but I couldn't stand it if he was mad at me or even pretended to so I held him tighter with my arm around his stomach, making him squirm. "Harry, I have to hang up now, just act a little more gay and you're fine."

"How can he think I'm not into boys?!" Harry whined while Niall got more impatient by the second, but he was too weak to escape my grip so he started whining.

"Liam, I'm still hungry, who are you talking to, why did you talk about me?!"

And on the other end.

"That's fucking ridiculous, can't you just tell him that you think I'm the gayest kid you've ever met and that we would be the best couple?"

"Fine, I'll tell him anything you want but I have to hang up now, I'm sorry." By this time I would've promised anything, I cut Harry off in the middle of another thing that would most likely haunt me until tomorrow before bringing my attention back to Niall. "Sorry, that was a friend of mine. Do you remember Louis from yesterday? That was his best friend, Harry. Now, do you still want breakfast?"

"Why did he call?" I had to pay the price now for not getting up earlier, didn't I.

"Because…" He obeyed when I put him onto the floor so I could get up again, not letting go of me though, but about to tear my shirt. "Because he's in love and he needs my advice."

"Oh." Was all Niall said, at least not asking any further questions so I didn't comment it and hoped that he wouldn't fall down the stairs as he let go of me to be the first one downstairs.

I really hoped Zayn wouldn't be here, how awkward would this be like, just randomly showing up in his house when nobody had even invited me, right I needed to go home as soon as possible.

When I reached the kitchen a little after Niall, it was luckily only his mum there, she smiled at me, not in a way as if she wanted to throw me out or even as if she was surprised to see me. "Did Zayn have a little party again?"

"Umm…" I didn't know what to say, what if he wasn't allowed to have parties, I didn't wanna be the one to spill it to his mum.

"It's fine, it's not like I wouldn't notice. Even if this time he really managed to get everyone out in time, I'm impressed." Since I had no idea what she was talking about, I just sat down, having Niall climb into my lap from the other chair, it seemed to be a thing now. "Niall, honey, I'm not sure if you should just sit on people without asking them."

"No, it's fine really." There would've been nothing worse than Niall pouting now and leaving, so I quickly threw that in while holding onto him.

"Liam stayed with me because I couldn't sleep." Niall announced, he seemed proud of it, even if there was no reason to because I was just me.

"I know, I checked on you earlier when we came back. You should thank him for ditching the party for you." Yeah, about that…

"Thank you, Li. Sorry you missed out on the party." Now I felt bad like, I hadn't minded doing it at all, I had actually preferred it.

"You're welcome, Niall. It wasn't so exciting anyway, but don't tell your brother, okay?" Of course I only said it to make him laugh, it worked pretty well and he leaned back happily against me, babbling about something again before I could take more than a breath.

I tried to wait for the perfect moment to speak up and say that I should actually leave, but Niall stayed in my lap the whole time while eating breakfast, not once running out of things to talk about with me so I didn't have the heart to, always thinking I could still leave in a few minutes.

"…but now that I was out of my room yesterday, Zayn is not gonna play Wii with me anymore…" It made me sad, even if I knew that Zayn wouldn't have dreamed of playing anything with Niall, but still.

"You know umm… we can play together sometime, I would play with you now but I didn't tell my mum where I am and I should really go ho-"

"Nooo, I don't want you to leave, please don't, Li, nobody else has ever any time for me." Great.

I adjusted him in my lap a little, grateful that his mum had left the kitchen for now because it wouldn't really be nice to hear her son accusing her of not spending time with him. Even if I somehow knew that Niall's words were the truth. "Look, I can stay a bit longer, but I'll have to go home at some point, I still have some work to do for school."

There was partly the problem that I felt like shit after not changing clothes or showering for so long, I was almost a hundred percent positive that I'd be allowed to shower here but also that Niall's mum would make me borrow Zayn's clothes and just no. "Oh, okay…"

"Niall, I…" He seriously climbed off of me now, wiping his eyes a little while my mouth dropped open in shock, because fucking shit, I had made him cry?! "Where are you going now, stay here."

"But you have to leave anyway." He stopped, turning around while looking at his fingers, playing with his shirt a little, occasionally sniffing which broke my heart. Into a million pieces, I swear, I could actually feel it. This was so fucking hard because I was able to make him happy so easily but with one wrong word he was completely broken and crying, I don't think I had ever had anyone shedding a tear over me.

"Yes, but…" But I couldn't now. I really couldn't. Maybe that's why I got crazy ideas while leaning forward a little, not getting up because it was easier to look at Niall. "If we ask your mum you can come over to my house maybe and I'll bring you back later."

No idea how I'd even be able to write half a sentence for my homework with Niall bouncing around in my room, but as his face lit up, I wasn't sure if I even cared anymore. "Really?"

"Yeah. But we have to ask, okay?" My voice got softer again, I felt myself relax a little when he smiled too brightly for just being offered to come over to my place.

I stood up when Niall nodded over excitedly, about to rush off I believe but I got down a little to look at him, holding his arm to grasp his attention back.

"Just because I have to leave doesn't mean that I don't want you around anymore, okay?" I don't know why, but the way his face had fallen made me think that he automatically assumed I had been lying just because I was annoyed with him. Because that's what Zayn did.

"Okay." No idea if he really got what I was saying or just wanted to run off to go ask, my money was on the second but I had just wanted to make sure he knew because I felt like a complete asshole now.

"Alright, go ask your mum." Niall didn't mind when I kissed his forehead before letting go, standing back up when he had already disappeared into the hallway, yelling through the house.

There was no need for me to go after him so I put my shoes on, waiting by the door, playing with my wallet a little before my phone started vibrating again, I hadn't noticed before but there were a bunch of messages from Harry, he was obviously mistaking me for his diary now and documenting every single one of his thoughts involving Louis now. I decided I could text back later or so, he seemed okay with talking to himself for now.

When Niall came back smiling, I felt really relieved, I didn't know what I would've done if he wasn't allowed to come, I couldn't spend my day here again, I also didn't want to, I felt better at home.

"My mum said yes." Niall announced happily, making me smile as well without planning on it, it was good to see him like this again.

"That's great, put your shoes on." Not that I would've needed to tell him, because he was actually already on the floor doing exactly that.

"Liam, can I talk to you for a second?" Seemed like my idea didn't excite everyone to such an extend.

"Yeah, sure…" I was a bit worried now as Niall's mum came up, so I asked Niall to hold my car keys meanwhile I was gone, just because he seemed upset about being left out, hoping that it would make him feel a little better.

"Look, I know how Niall is and how hard it is to say no to him, but you really don't have to do this all the time." We were out of danger of him hearing, luckily, because this nearly made my eyes fall out as well.

"No, no, I really want to do it, I wouldn't have offered it otherwise." What was she thinking, that I couldn't say no if I really wanted to go home alone? Truth be told, it really was hard to say no to Niall, but maybe I didn't want to.

"I'm sorry, Liam. I know you're a good boy, it's just that I'm a little worried. Niall is always so disappointed because Zayn and him never really got along and now he has you and he never stops taking about how great you are, I just want you to know that he gets attached so easily and he'd be broken if this continues and then just stops suddenly." So basically… she was telling me I better not fuck this up, as if we were dating or something, this was weird.

"I know, I noticed all of this. But I really care about Niall and I wouldn't do this to him, I promise. Whenever you need me to babysit or he wants to come over or so, just call me." Like the playdates me and Zayn had been forced into in earlier days, only that now I was offering it myself.

"Okay, thank you so much, really, he absolutely adores you." When she had told me last time, I had shrugged it off, but this time it made me smile, because I knew it was true and the fact alone that somebody would like me this much as a person wasn't too bad either. "I actually have to talk to your mum anyway, I'll pick him up later so you don't have to drive over again, okay? Take care of him."

"I will, I promise. See you later then." She just let me go, half smiling, half worried, I understood her reaction it's just that she didn't seem to be taking much of a part in Niall's life either, it came off as if I was actually the only one.

Niall was really, really impatient when I got back, he nearly jumped at me. "What did my mum say?"

"She just told me she'd pick you up later." I couldn't have told him the truth obviously.

"But she could have said that when I was there as well." To win some time and think of an excuse, I unlocked the door, letting Niall go outside before me, he didn't even say goodbye, he just reached out for my hand.

"Yeah, well, she also told me that you shouldn't drink any coke at my house, but I think we can make an exception, okay? Don't tell anybody though." Truth was, I had been scared about letting him drink coke last sunday, so I had checked whether it was okay when Niall and his mum had come over, making sure he didn't hear it, so I could safely use it as an excuse now.

"I won't!" He giggled, swinging our arms a little before remembering something. "I still got your car key. Can I lock up?"

"Yeah sure, the car is around the corner though." It seemed to satisfy him that I had agreed, no idea why it made him smile like this, but as I threw a look at his face, he was cheerful as ever, no sign of the tears from earlier.

"Why did you park so far away?" A risky question, I couldn't exactly say because drunk people might break my windows, I hoped he didn't even know what drunk meant.

"There was no parking space anywhere else. Alright, now, just press the button." Niall did what I told him as we reached the car, amazed because 'the car unlocks without touching it', yeah, magic.

I still opened the back door for him after getting my keys back, somehow I also wanted to put his seatbelt on, like, I wanted to baby him constantly, he'd get annoyed with me if I didn't contain myself. "How is Loki, can I hold him again?"

"You have to, I think he misses you a lot." Right now I was really thankful for a cat that hardly moved and didn't mind anyone keeping her in their lap for a few hours straight, because that's what Niall had done last time.

As I parked out, Niall told me again how cute Loki was and that he was gonna buy ten cats at least when he was old enough, also that I'd have to visit him then to meet them all which would've sounded really weird to me but I was watching the road, only listening with one ear when Niall's future plans got interrupted by my phone.

"Sh- I mean… my phone." There was a red light yet I didn't want to pick up while driving, especially not because Niall would be watching me, I don't know, didn't wanna be a bad role model I guess. So that's why I had another idea. "Can you pick up for me?"

"I should pick up YOUR phone?" His eyes nearly popped out as I handed it back quickly, not having enough time to watch him any longer before I had to drive on.

"Yeah, whose name is it?" He could handle phones, right?

"Harry." So then he obviously decided it was excited to use my phone because I heard a giggle. "Hi, Harry…no, it's Niall… no, I didn't steal his phone!"

"Tell him where we are and what we're gonna do." At least if Harry had to tell Niall everything to repeat it for me he couldn't get dirty. Or maybe he would, it was Harry after all.

"I'm in Liam's car and he's driving and he said to pick up for him… Liam, what's a pussy, Harry said that's what you are." Oh my god, I could hear the laughter through the phone even to where I was sitting.

"Tell Harry he should just say why he called or his secret won't be one any longer." Right, but who would I even tell?

"He wants to know why you called and I didn't get what else he said." This was gonna be fun. "Okay… Harry said you should text him back and he wants you to tell Louis something but he doesn't say what…Liii, is Louis the boy Harry is in love with?"

Yeah, I could hear Harry yell through the phone, again, which quite amused me, mostly because Niall couldn't have given less of a fuck if he talked about Harry while actually being on the phone with him. "Yes, babe, but you have to pretend like you don't know or he will get mad."

"You know, Harry, if you're in love with him then you should tell him." I couldn't stop laughing, it served Harry right for bothering me all morning and Niall was actually really sweet about this. "Yeah, I know Louis, he's nice…Liam should tell him if you're scared, Liam can do everything."

Aw. "Ni, I'm not sure if Harry really wants to talk about it."

"Okay… but Harry can you hang up I don't know how to." Niall put the phone away then while I was still having troubles containing my amusement.

"Is the call still going?" I just wanted to check, who knows, maybe Harry wanted to spy on us.

"I don't know, there's a picture of the Batman sign now." Yeah, my background, creative.

"Alright, then it's fine. Thanks for picking up, Ni." We should do that more often.

"Did I do good?" It seemed that he was dying to hear my approval, the way he had just talked about me and this now made me really believe Zayn and his mum when they said he hadn't shut up about me at home.

"Yeah, you were really nice to Harry. But Niall, if you ever see Louis again you can't tell him any of this, okay? And… and also not Zayn. It's a secret okay, and Harry would be really sad." Wow, how fucked would I actually be if Zayn found out and decided to make fun of them in school or something.

"I won't tell anybody, I promise, Li, I don't tell secrets." I believed him immediately, because his eyes got really big and as stupid as that sounded, I don't think he'd ever do anything to possibly make me mad. Not that I could've ever been mad at him.

"Thanks, I know, Niall, it's okay." He flashed me a smile through the mirror that I couldn't help but return, quietly to myself though.

For the rest of the drive Niall and me talked about cats since he just picked the conversation up at the exact point where Harry had cut it off, but it was fine for me, whatever Niall wanted.

It also made him really happy that as soon as I locked up my front door, Loki came creeping around the corner so I picked him up quickly, handing him over to Niall because he looked like he'd explode if I didn't. "Don't hold him too tight, okay?" He had the tendency to hug him really tightly even if I had showed him how to hold cats properly it didn't really get through to him. "Mum, I'm home and Niall is here as well."

Right, I should've probably asked or something, but then again, it's not like she was the one who had to make sure he wouldn't get bored. "I know, Li, his mum called me before."

"Alright we…" I was about to take Niall to my room but she came around the corner out of the living room, too happy about this situation. Yeah, I knew why, because for the first time I was making afford to befriend her best friends' sons, she probably knew deep down that me and Zayn had just played along because we didn't have a choice.

"Hi, Niall, if you want anything or if you're hungry you just have to tell Liam, alright?" The thing was, Niall wouldn't have any problems telling me if something was wrong yet he had somehow problems talking to people that weren't me, his family or on the phone with him because he immediately came half hiding behind me, still cradling my cat to his chest.

For a few seconds, I thought he'd say something, but he sticked to nodding so I decided to help him out. "Okay, we're upstairs."

Niall was more than happy to follow me, open mouth as soon as my mum was out of sight, this was remarkable, really, he was so comfortable around me as if we had known each other for all our lives. We had, sort of.

I found myself enjoying the time I had with Niall, we played Wii, like I had promised before, showing Niall a few things so he'd be better for which he loved me even more. So much, he promised to be quiet while I attempted to do my homework, letting him watch TV in my bed meanwhile.

Also, my mum made us lunch, and even if Niall was extremely shy while being around her he was really polite all of a sudden and freaking cute while eating because of the fact that he was left handed and having trouble cutting his food so I decided to help, not expecting my mum to find us so cute she nearly was about to take a picture.

Niall also nearly slept in later while I finished my assignment, instead of staying in my bed though, he came climbing into my lap, surprising me a little. Well, actually so much I had to finish my homework the next day when he wasn't there anymore.

------

"Hey, Liam, you gonna come to my place, right?" Louis had been bugging me all day about this, I didn't know why, all I knew was that he had the house to himself and that Harry would come too, obviously, they never did anything without each other as it seemed.

"I don't know, I think I have to study for-"

"You have no choice, you know." Of course, this was true, my mum had needed the car in the morning so I had been forced to ask Louis if he could drive me to school since I didn't want to wake up an hour earlier. "Harry wants you to come too."

There was only one reason for this, Harry was constantly trying to get me and Louis into a room by ourselves just so I would talk to him, I had tried, I promise, not only that one time at the party three weeks ago, but multiple times. It's just, I wasn't allowed to just say 'Hey, Harry has a freaking crush on you', so that complicated everything a little.

Especially since they forced me to hang out with them constantly, I really loved them both I just wasn't used to so much attention, Harry liked me because I was helping him with Louis and Louis texted me every day ever since I had agreed to help him babysit his four sisters.

"Yeah, alright…" What else could I have said, I had nothing to do anyway, it was like, thursday and the car wasn't available all day because my mum was out of town. I could've asked Niall's mum if she'd bring him over because I hadn't seen him since monday even if I had seen him so much lately I wondered if he ever actually got sick of me and it was actually really late now if I thought about when his bedtime was.

"Okay, cool, come on then ." They had actually waited by my locker after my last class, very obviously bringing a little more distance between them as they saw me while I groaned internally, this was ridiculous, were they fucking blind.

"You know what, Li, ever since you came back and hang out with us people think the three of us are having orgies every day after school." Louis and Harry both laughed, yeah, they probably wouldn't even mind that rumor to be true. And if it excluded me.

"As much as you wish that that was true, Lou, I unfortunately am still straight." Which they didn't believe me after our talk about who was the hottest girl in school and I said I had no idea because I didn't pay attention so then we came to no solution since both of them were gay.

"Yeah right." See? "There were about three girls who asked me about you but all I could say was that you probably don't have time to hang out with them because you are constantly babysitting Zayn's brother."

Speaking of that, Niall had gotten his dad's old phone, I don't know why but I found it more delightful to send him the pictures of my cat he requested than texting with Harry and Louis about Louis and very suspicious questions about Harry's jeans.

"I like babysitting him, his parents are never at home and Zayn-"

"I know, I know, I still dare to say me and Harry are more fun. Harry especially." Heard that, this was how it was going all day long, compliments over compliments and cuddling that was of course completely platonic.

"Mhmm." Was all I made, not that anybody noticed, they were busy staring at each other, smiling so much that my own cheeks started to hurt by just looking.

Of course, I got banned to sit in the back, not that I dared discussing this, Harry could get really pissed off if me and Louis got along too well. Problems over problems.

"Right, Liam, before I forget to warn you, my mum thought it would be a great idea if you and and your mum come to London with us for Christmas break." Luckily Harry hadn't turned around while telling me, because Louis hit the breaks so abruptly he would've sent his best friends head in the seat.

"What the hell, Louis, are you trying to kill us?!" His driving skills had made me regret not walking to school today, but it was too late now.

"But Harry, what about our new years plans?! You can't just forget about them for Liam!" Besides the fact that this was actually really offending and that I was still in shock, I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend my break with Harry and his family, his mum was nice and all but it was only October anyway and …

"Calm down, Lou, you come too, of course, I already asked." Wow, now I wanted to come even less, what a surprise.

"Oh. Okay." Just like that, Louis drove on as if nothing had happened, nobody talked about it anymore, I used the time of the short drive to send prayers to God that my mum would say no to this very bad idea. Not very likely.

I can't say that I enjoyed being in a car with Louis and Harry, mostly because whenever Louis said something that was only remotely funny Harry would laugh like a donkey, for five minutes, even if that was a really shitty way of getting someone to like you, it seemed to work, because in the end, I was the one getting told off for only forcing a smile.

"Aright, I suggest since nobody is here, we should all get naked." The sad thing was, they'd probably pull through with this.

"Or we could all leave our clothes on, how about that?" Louis' house was really big, I had only been here twice, while Harry just fell onto the couch with his feet on the table, glancing at me for keeping Louis from taking his shirt off.

"You're always so uptight, Niall's not here, there's not need for you to jump into Daddy mode." Harry was about to move on the couch, make some space as Louis came over however he just put his legs in Harry's lap, making me cock an eyebrow at this.

"I don't jump into Daddy mode…" Luckily, there was a second couch, so I sat there, watching the very bizarre scene next to me, Harry was about to lose his mind or something.

"I bet Haz would love seeing me naked, right?" Of course, it was a joke, but Harry turned really red, looking at me as if I could somehow help him out of this.

"Y-Yeah sure…" He faked a couch, getting Louis to pat his back while he seemed to be very deep in thought.

"We should do something fun like… Truth or Dare." I should've known. Luckily there was nothing about me that they didn't know, literally, I was the most boring person alive.

"We're not six anymore, Lou, I-"

"Yeah, let's play." It was an asshole move, Harry was beyond scared, there were one million questions that could lead to him spilling his secret. Exactly why I agreed, I was tired of this and Louis would never tell me the truth anyway.

"We can't play, this is really stupid, we all know that Liam only agreed because there's exactly nothing he's keeping from us, let's do something else." Like expected, Harry wanted to jump up, but he couldn't because Louis was keeping him on the couch, completely ignoring his arguments while looking at me, smirking.

"Liam, truth or dare?" I would've been so dumb for taking dare.

"Truth." What could he ask me, seriously, this was beyond-

"What is Harry always texting you when he thinks I don't notice it?" Oh.

"I-I… it's about homework mostly, I-"

"You know that if you lie, then you're out, right? I could easily request to see the text messages as proof." Alright, this had been the worst idea I had ever had.

"No, you can't, only one question, Lou, and that was it, unless Liam doesn't take dare we have to assume he's telling the truth. Which he is, by the way, you know how bad I am at maths." Harry saved it, even if he was talking quietly, knowing that Louis would be pissed for taking my side. Our side, to be exact here, he'd be more screwed than me.

"Fine then. Liam, ask Harry." Actually I had planned on asking very obvious questions about Louis but I felt a little bad now for nearly causing a fight between them so I just asked the first thing that came to my mind when he chose truth as well, while glaring at me I must add.

"Okay umm… who was your first kiss?" There was nothing wrong with it, right, I mean…

"Umm…" Yeah and then that happened. I had assumed that both of them had been in relationships before, unlike me, probably also with girls when they had been younger and stuff like that but Harry nearly died, staring into his lap now before whispering so quietly, I almost didn't hear him. "Louis…"

We both nearly choked, well actually, I wasn't as surprised as Louis, I had known that they had hooked up before, drunk, a year or so ago, but wow that would mean that- "WHAT?! You told me that it has been no big deal, you said you had sex with… wait, you've never been in a relationship?"

Oh. Oops. "I-I… no. Sorry, I lied, I… I didn't mean to Louis, I'm sorry."

"But… oh god. I would've never… if I had known, I…" Now this was getting rather awkward, it hadn't exactly been my intend to spill that Louis had taken Harry's virginity while being completely shitfaced without even knowing it myself, I should've probably left.

Harry was completely embarrassed while Louis was devastated, sitting up straight now, without touching Harry, not that he noticed, he probably thought of whether to chop my head off or stab me with a butter knife. "Sorry…please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad, I…" I was incredibly lucky I assume, for having my phone go off every single time I was having a conversation, just like now.

Without looking at the others, I jumped up, leaving the room while still feeling their stares in my back, only picking up when I reached the kitchen, without checking who was calling me, probably my mum, she tended to give me unnecessary updates whenever she wasn't home. "Yeah?"

"Hi, Li…" Niall, obviously I didn't have a lot of kids calling me besides I noticed his voice right away.

"Hey, babe, are you okay?" It was strange, he never called me, whenever he wanted to see me he usually asked his mum, provided I wasn't the one to suggest it first.

"No… umm… " He sniffed, immediately making me forget about whatever had just happened before, Niall crying was the worst. "Zayn forgot to pick me up and… I waited for him but he didn't come…and mum and dad have to work late, their phones are turned off…"

"How long did you wait, Ni?" Shit, why didn't I have my car, exactly TODAY.

"An hour or so… can you come and get me? I'm scared, it's getting dark a-and … and there are some creepy guys on the other side of the street…" I heard his voice shaking terribly, nearly making me lose my mind, if something happened to him I wouldn't know what to do.

"Okay, listen, Ni, it's all good, okay? Don't talk to anybody, promise me, yeah? And don't go with anyone until I'm there, you're at the sports center, right?" Of course, he was there because his dad had thought it would be a great idea to make Niall play football, that was also the reason why he had gotten the phone. I know I had no say in this but sending Niall to football training seemed to be the worst idea someone could come up with.

"Y-Yeah…" If those guys he had talked about would do anything to him I would personally slit their throats.

"I'm gonna be there in no time, baby, don't be scared, it's all fine." While trying to calm him down, I walked back into the living room, being met by Louis and Harry hugging, wow, okay? "Guys I… ummm…Louis I have to borrow your car."

"What?" They pulled apart immediately, staring at me as if I had grown another head or so, why were they so embarrassed now, they hugged all the time in front of me.

"I have to borrow your car, Zayn forgot to pick up Niall from football training and I can't just let him stand there. Please, I'm scared something might happen to him." I had had the phone covered with one hand, because Niall was still on the phone with me, too scared to hang up.

"Oh… alright, I…I'll drive you." No idea why Louis didn't want me to just borrow the car however he threw a very intense look at Harry before getting up, brushing his shoulder with his hand, not by accident. "You coming, Haz?"

"Yeah, of course." Something had definitely happened, Harry wasn't mad at me like expected, actually, as he passed me by, he made sure Louis had already left for the door before leaning in really close to me. "Thank you."

Before I could ask, he smiled at me widely, making sure to run after his soon-to-be-boyfriend. Great, I think tonight I would be the one to beg him to tell ME what happened for once. "L-Li, are you still there?"

Right, Niall, he was more important than somebody's crush. "Of course, sorry, Ni, I just talked to Harry. We'll come and get you with Louis' car, okay? So don't be scared if you don't recognize it."

"Yeah okay…I have to hang up, my dad gets mad if I use the phone too much…" It was hard putting on my shoes while trying to keep up a conversation with, but I managed it somehow, with Louis already yelling at me from inside the car to hurry the fuck up.

"We'll see us in one second anyway, okay? We'll hurry up, promised." I would've been faster if I had been allowed to drive myself, but I climbed into the backseat now, grateful for a car at all.

"Okay…" He hung up, but not without me noticing the sniff at the end, fuck, I hated when he cried, or knowing that he wasn't safe or something might possibly happen to him, I hated not seeing him in so long above all.

"Liam, are you okay? Zayn just forgot to pick him up, we'll just get him, it's no big deal." Yeah, I was a bit, very actually, nervous now, my foot going up and down after I told Louis where to go, but of course, there was still traffic, so he had to stop the car, much to my displeasure.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Actually the other two were the ones who'd have every right to ignore me now yet I was the one staring out of the window, contemplating whether I'd be faster if I just ran.

"About before umm… you know… a year ago or so… me and Harry got really drunk and… things happened, but… ummm…" I knew the whole story already, from Harry himself, he got a little smaller in his seat now but I pretended not to notice.

"It's fine, you don't have to explain it to me, I think I can live without details." I knew them already, it was more of a hint for Harry. "I'm sorry if I… brought you guys in a weird situation."

"No, we're okay, I'm just… sorry." Louis was sorry as well? Good, they could just repeat the whole thing to make up for it and never tell me anything about it ever again.

"You don't have to be sorry, Lou, I'm the one who lied." They'd both be sorry as hell if something happened to Niall and had to deal with me losing my mind, but I kept my mind shut for now, doing my best to shut them out.

Which didn't exactly work. "Yeah, just… I didn't know it'd be such a big deal for you."

They talked about it, the whole time we were in the car, at least now I got why Harry had thanked me, Louis seemed to be desperate to make it up, without knowing that Harry hadn't actually minded the fact that Louis had been his first kiss and all, I should've just thrown it in, but I was somewhere else with my thoughts.

It really was getting dark, like Niall had said before, plus I had had a long day in school and it was about to be winter soon, Niall never wore proper clothes if nobody forced him, which no one would do after football practice.

I shared my worries with Harry and Louis after they started questioning why I took my jacket off when we were almost there, so I explained it, ignoring the looks they threw at each other, no matter what they said, I didn't care if I was exaggerating, it was for Niall, I wouldn't take a risk.

"Where is he, I can't see him." Louis stopped the car in front of the main entrance, my heart making a skip at his words, I just got out, nearly falling over.

"Niall? Where are you?" Knowing him, he was probably hiding, even if the guys he had mentioned on the phone were gone… wait.

"Liam, don't freak out okay, he has got to be here somewhere, try the back door, we'll look here." WHAT IF HE WASN'T THERE?!

I think Louis and Harry had gotten out of the car as well, but I didn't wait for them, just deciding to do what Harry had said, I hadn't even known that a back door existed at all, it was just around the corner though.

At first, I wanted to start crying, because there was nobody either as I just quickly threw a look, about to, I don't know, call the police or something but then I noticed the bench on the sidewalk where a very small and of course poorly dressed Niall was crying his eyes out. Oh thank god.

"Niall!" His head shot up, immediately looking at me before crying even more and jumping up even if I was already there, wrapping him up in my arms. "Where's your jacket, babe, you're freezing to death!"

Niall wrapped his arms around my neck as I picked him up, they were cold as ice and he was shaking terribly, both from the coldness and from being scared I suppose, great, now I was about o start bawling too, out of relief. "S-Sorry…."

"Hey, it's all good, okay, I'm here now, you don't have to cry, Ni baby, all is good." I was mostly trying to calm down myself, because Niall just kept clinging to me, crying into my neck, both of us freezing now since nobody was wearing more than a long sleeved shirt. For a bit, I rocked Niall in my arms, until I remembered that Louis and Harry were still looking for him as well, so I carefully picked up Niall's bag, making sure he wouldn't slip even if it would've been impossible the way his arms and legs were wrapped around me. "We'll just go back to Louis and Harry, alright? It'll be warmer in a second."

No idea if Niall had heard me, he didn't answer or even lifted his head, just continued to cry in my shirt as I walked back, I don't know if I had ever been so relieved in my whole entire life over having him cry in my arms like this.

"Oh, thank god." It seemed that Louis and Harry had been worried as well, they came over now, Harry even reached out to rub Niall's back a little, even if that wasn't a good idea at all but there was no reaction whatsoever.

"He's hardly wearing anything, get him in the car." Louis held the door open for me, I carelessly threw the bag onto the other side, not even assuming for one second that Niall would sit by himself, he always wanted to sit on my lap when he was tired, sad or scared, I think today it was all of those reasons combined.

I had to shift Niall a little so he could sit in my lap, using my jacket to tug him in before going back to hugging him. "Ni, look at me for a second, please, babe? You'll be okay, I promise, are you still cold?"

After trying a little, he let go of me slightly, so much that I was able to see his face, I had seen him so often whenever he had cried but this time was especially bad, so I leaned down, kissing his forehead slightly before using the tissue that Harry handed me from the front to dry Niall's face a little.

"What's up Niall, you're safe now, I'm here." Sure, it had been a scary situation for him but he was extremely down now, he wouldn't even talk to me and my shirt would rip if he continued to pull on it.

"I w-was s-scared…a-and…" His voice just broke after that, I hugged him tighter, pressing kisses into his hair while Louis luckily turned on the heating.

"You don't have to tell me now, babe, it's okay…" Actually it wasn't okay and I was about to freak out again now, because of Zayn mostly but also because Niall turned closer into me, burying his face in my shirt.

"Liam, we'll just take him to my place for now, okay? He'll be fine." Louis' voice was soft now, I looked up to see both him and Harry staring at Niall, pretty worried as well, so I nodded, I trusted Louis in this case, he had four younger sisters, he probably knew what to do.

"Okay." I wanted to call Zayn now and yell at him through the phone, but instead I tried not to think about it, cradling Niall to my chest instead and whispering sweet nothings to him, hoping he would at least stop crying, it was better now, but I was still painfully worried.

Nobody talked anymore, except for me with Niall however he never replied so I was having a talk with myself in the back, Louis stayed completely quiet while Harry sometimes checked on us, reaching out sometimes to run his fingers through Niall's hair or smiling at me, to cheer me up I suppose. It didn't help but I appreciated the effort.

When we arrived, Louis told Harry to just go lock up for me and that he'd take Niall's bag, so that's what we did, it seemed kinda ridiculous now to think about that we had been dumb enough to play truth or dare in the same living room that Niall was curled up on my lap now after I carried him inside. "Where are we, Li?"

"At Louis' place. You remember Louis, right? And Harry?" They kept their distance, knowing how he got around strangers but he only nodded against my shoulder now, cuddling further into the blanket that Louis had brought.

"You okay, Ni? Do you want anything, are you hungry? Thirsty?" They were really nice to Niall, probably because it was impossible to not fall in love with him, I saw their looks while they watched him.

"No, thank you…" He was rubbing his eyes now, Harry nearly died at this sight, it made me smirk a little even if I didn't feel like it at all.

"Okay, if you change your mind just tell Liam, alright?" Niall had stopped crying at least, he seemed really worn out now, freeing his hands from the blanket to play with my fingers instead.

"Do you want me to call Zayn? Or try your parents again?" I wasn't really sure what to do now, I had no idea where Zayn was and I for sure wouldn't just drop him off at home so he'd be all alone, no way.

"No, I wanna stay with you." To show me that he meant it, he snuggled up tighter against me, nearly making me smile.

"It's alright, I'm not gonna go anywhere, Niall." Not that he would've let me anyway.

"Liam…can I tell you something?" He was whispering, maybe because of Harry and Louis even if they weren't really paying any attention, they were talking with each other, quietly, sitting way too close again.

"Of course, babe, anything, you know that." He usually told me everything else as well, I was afraid I knew more about his school than his parents did.

"I… I don't like football practice… and there are some guys from my school and they're really mean to me…a-and… they also hid my jacket…" I nearly squished him in a hug then, peppering kisses over his head.

"You have to tell your parents that, Ni, they can't just take your things and if you don't wanna go play football you shouldn't have to." Of course I had known before how much he hated it, he had never told me why though, I think he was embarrassed, even now.

"But they'll get mad at me… and tomorrow at school everybody is gonna laugh at me because I'm so bad and because I was the only one who didn't get invited to my friends' house for his birthday…" Before I could even say another word, he started crying again, I couldn't take this anymore, he always told me stuff like this about his 'friends' and it was making me sick.

"Niall, please don't cry, hey, look at me..:" The hiccups he always got fro crying were the cutest thing, but I couldn't think about hat now when he leaned back just the slightest bit so I could rub my thumbs over his cheeks softly, kissing his forehead. "They don't mean it, okay, they shouldn't be laughing at you and they're horrible for doing this to you, trust me, I know. I never got invited to anything either, and I know it hurts but whatever they're saying it's not true, I love you very much, okay? And a lot of other people do to, they're just jealous, Ni, they don't even know how sweet you are and if they ever get in your stuff again then tell me who it was and I'll make this stop." Yeah, I shouldn't be thinking of threatening kids but I did it anyway.

"They'd be jealous if they saw that you're my friend…" He dropped his head against my shoulder again, rubbing his eyes again, he was probably tired as well now.

"You know… if you're so scared of tomorrow, I can walk into class with you." I'd come way too late to my own class, but whatever, I came late all the time and I remember this one kid having an older brother when I had been younger and everyone being incredibly jealous. Well, I wasn't Niall's brother but this was as close as it could get, I was just dying to help.

"Really…?" Niall listened up now, he even allowed me to look at his face again and there might have even been a tiny smile on his lips.

"If you want me to, I'll do anything to help you, you just have to tell me, okay?" I would even talk to his parents if he asked me to, but the he only thing he ever did was letting me promise to never tell anybody.

"Okay. Please go in class with me tomorrow." He was so cute, I didn't understand how anybody would ever want to hurt him, I wished I could go and get everyone back who had been mean to him ever.

"Of course, you just wait by the entrance and I'll come and get you okay." I'd pick him up at home as well but I knew that his dad brought him and Zayn drove with his own car, it would be a little weird to suggest that I could drive Niall.

This time we didn't get interrupted by my phone but by Niall's, it was a little weird to see him having a phone at all, even if I was really glad today that he had one. "It's Zayn… I don't wanna talk to him…"

Perfect. "Give it to me."

Niall handed me the phone without hesitating, Louis and Harry were listening up as well now, they looked like they were worried about me losing my mind now, I was close to it, very close.

"Niall, where the hell-"

"No, it's Liam. Listen Zayn, if you intend to forget your brother again tell me next time so I don't find him crying and half frozen to death." It was wrong to talk like this to Zayn while Niall was listening, he flinched a little because he wasn't used to me with a harsher voice, but still leaning into me until Harry suggested quietly that Niall should come sit with him a little.

I encouraged it, while Zayn was looking for an excuse, holding the phone a little away so he wouldn't hear as I went to whisper in Niall's ear. "Baby, I'll just go over in the kitchen and talk with your brother, please stay with Harry and Louis meanwhile, I'll be back in no time okay. They're really nice, if you ask Louis maybe he can show you his sister's guinea pig."

An animal was the key to everything, Niall looked a little unsure now but he climbed out of my lap now so I could stand up, kissing his head a little before making sure I got out of sight since Zayn was getting impatient. "Hey, if you don't wanna talk to me then why don't you hang up, Payne?"

"I'm really sorry that I had to calm down Niall after you made him cry for the millionth time. It's none of my business how you treat him at home, but I draw the line at forgetting him when it's getting dark and he calls me up because he's all alone when it's ice cold and he's been waiting for you for an hour and you can't even pick up your  phone." I was doing good, I wasn't even yelling.

"I forgot him ONE time, it happens, okay, I would've told him that I'm sorry but you took his phone." Yeah right.

"Mhm. It's a little too late for that now don't you think." Besides that, I didn't even dream of handing Niall the phone, he really couldn't need this now.

"Alright, Liam. I know how much my brother loves you and how much he wishes I'd have as much time as you do but I got reasons why I act the way I do. I appreciate that you picked him up today and I really am sorry, but you can't judge me if you don't even know me." What the hell was that supposed to mean, seriously, I didn't need to know someone to know when they are acting like an asshole.

"I used to know you though. And you've never been like this." Yeah, we had been fighting as kids, but thats because we had been exactly that, kids, however I had never hated him as much as I did now.

"Yeah, because things change, Liam, so don't try and tell me how to treat my brother, I know I'm hard on him but he's got you so he'll be fine. If you wanna bring him back I'll drive home now and my parents will be back by ten, bye." He hung up on me, without leaving me any time to respond, I should've asked him about what fucking reasons someone could have for treating a child like shit but I'm not sure if I wanted to know them.

It took me a few minutes to calm down, and look at Niall's phone background because it was my cat, that made me smile a little, but I didn't wanna go back while being completely worked up and having to pretend that I was fine for Niall. I still didn't know what to do, I knew he wouldn't wanna go home, because he never did, which I understood too good, but he'd have to, at some point.

So I walked back into the living room again, finding only Louis waiting for me there, he seemed pretty worried because he immediately looked at me. "You okay?"

"I guess so. If wanting to strangle Zayn doesn't count. Where's Harry and Niall?" I let myself fall onto the couch, not going crazy this time over not knowing where Niall was, I trusted Harry.

"They're looking at my sister's guinea pig upstairs, Harry is in love with Niall." He's also in love with you, idiot.

"Yeah, who isn't. Hey, Lou…" Maybe because now that I got bigger problems, I didn't mind so much anymore talking about other stuff, or maybe it was because I was staring at the turned off TV instead of actually at Louis.

"Yeah?" His voice was normal, I and a feeling it would change.

"You like Harry, don't you. That's why you were so devastated before." Actually I didn't need any confirmation of this, I just wanted to make him aware that I had noticed I suppose.

Louis took a deep breath, obviously not sure if he should answer me but let's be honest, that was answer enough. "I gotta figure this out first. You know… there's only two more years in this school and I might go away after that. It wouldn't be fair, to start something when I know it's gonna end."

Definitely a yes. I just nodded, I had thought that it was something like this, because that was my problem as well, not because of a relationship or because of my friendship with Louis and Harry. But because of Niall.

We fell into silence then because I didn't know any advice to give him, it was his decision after all, I'd just like to know what to tell Harry about this when he asked me next time, Louis obviously knew about Harry's feelings towards him, but it wouldn't be fair to tell him, they had to figure this out themselves.

Just like I did. "Liam!" And right now I was thinking about not going far away after school at all.

"Careful, Ni." He nearly hit his elbow in my stomach because he was so eager to sit on my lap again, Harry looked a little disappointed for being left like this, but at least Niall had agreed to hold his hand before.

"What did Zayn say?" So here we go again with the lies.

"He's really sorry, Ni, but he forgot his phone in the car and a friend of his really needed help with something, he's not gonna forget you anymore, I think he just didn't look at the time." Telling him stuff like this only worked because Zayn wouldn't think of coming to apologize and explain it himself, I could've basically said anything and yeah, I did feel bad, but it was better like this.

Louis and Harry shared a look over this, they had probably noticed how I had slightly hesitated while quickly making this up, but for Niall, it was alright, because I put my arms around him again and he nuzzled his head into my shoulder. "We were upstairs looking at the guinea pig and Harry nearly fell into the cage."

"I did not, Niall! That's a complete lie, I was just checking if the food bowl was empty or not." The truth was, Harry's cheeks turned pink as Louis turned to him with cocked eyebrows and Niall laughed really hard so I joined because it was fucking contagious.

"And did you try some of it as well, Haz?" Now that Louis had basically confirmed my assumptions, I could hear the way his voice changed whenever he talked to Harry even more, it was ridiculous how someone could've not heard it.

"Oh, shut up, none of this happened, Niall is a little liar." Of course he was just joking, Niall was still giggling, it was cute and I was relived that he felt okay again however I also knew that it didn't take much to change that.

Since I'd only have to bring back Niall by ten and he'd be asleep long before that anyway, we stayed a little longer at Louis' house, everyone was in a better mood now and Niall seemed to like them as well even if he preferred me, luckily, it was only fair, we spent three days a week together.

Also Louis was the only one with a car, we first of all drove to Niall's house, he was half asleep already, so I waited until Zayn opened us up, not saying much since Niall was dozing off on my shoulder while I carried him. I did help him change into his pajamas and get into bed, but he slept in within five minutes, making me promise again that I'd be there tomorrow. There was no sight of Zayn when I walked downstairs, just pulling the front door closed behind me.

I kinda knew that Harry's house was closer than mine, but it also made sense that Louis brought me home first, I really hoped that he'd talk to Harry even if that, of course, wouldn't happen anytime soon, they were just too complicated for that.

-----

My alarm went off too late the next morning, maybe because I hadn't been able to fall asleep last night however I managed to get to school in time, actually not my school but Niall's.

The entrance wasn't far away from the parking lot, I could've also gone through my school to get there as they were attached however Niall would be outside even if now that I nearly froze my ass off, I regretted telling him to not wait inside or so.

It was funny actually, to go back there since this had been my school as well, only that now all the kids looked at me, probably thinking I had lost my way, but no. I couldn't help thinking that some of them might be Niall's classmates, so maybe that's why I couldn't bring myself to look happier, or maybe it was the lack of sleep. Or both.

Niall wasn't hard to be overlooked, he was somehow smaller than most of the others, he also looked more breakable, and really lonely as well, it made my heart drop, even if his face lit up incredibly at seeing me. "Li!"

"Hi, babe, you okay?" He hugged me quickly while I couldn't hold back my yawn anymore, rubbing his back softly before he pulled away.

"Yeah. Thank you for coming." Had he really thought I wouldn't?

"You're welcome, anything for you. Should we go inside?" This made his mood crumble a little, he took my hand immediately, pressing tightly into my side.

I didn't know if what I was doing was okay, I just knew that when I had gone into this school the last time, I wished I would've had someone by my side who'd make sure I was fine.

"Niall, you don't have to worry about anything, okay? I'm here now and if anyone does something to you, all you have to do is call me and I'll come over, yeah?" Yeah, I couldn't exactly punch kids and I also didn't plan on, I secretly hoped that after today, they wouldn't even dare to be mean to Niall anymore.

"O-Okay…" Niall was really pale, he leaned more into me, holding my hand tighter now as we went inside, even if nothing had happened by now, yeah, the kids all stared but it was because of me not him.

His class wasn't so far from the door, I knew which one it was since Niall suddenly started walking slower, I could really tell how much he did not want to go in there now, but I didn't stop like he probably wanted me to. I would've let him skip, but I wasn't his dad so it wasn't for me to do decide, this was all I could do right now and Niall probably knew it because he gave in without whining or begging.

"Niall, is that your big brother?" I felt a few curious pairs of eyes on us, Niall got nervous for the both of us, he just pulled me along to the back of the class after shaking his head at the girl who had asked.

"No, that's Liam, he's my friend." It made me really sad that Niall was practically sitting alone, sure the tables were all individually anyway, but he was sitting by the wall, in the last row, with a boy next to him that looked like his eyes were gonna fall out as he saw me. Good, I was scary.

"Why are you taking Niall to school, Liam?" It wasn't hard to guess that whoever had spoken up now, and I really wasn't sure because suddenly everyone of Niall's classmates seemed highly interested in knowing the answer to this question, was someone who Niall was afraid of, because he refused to let my hand go now, pressing his back into his table next to me after dropping his backpack.

"Because I wanted to see what his class was like." So now, everyone who had ever teased him please come forward so I can slap you across the face. Kidding. Or so.

"How old are you? You look really old, are you a senior?" Yeah, that would've been probably more impressive, I could've lied but.

"No, I'm sixteen." This boy that was talking to me, Niall disliked him a lot, he was pulling my shirt now with his other hand, as if to tell me, so I decided to talk on. "How old are you, like, ten?"

Everybody laughed except for him, good. "No, I'm twelve!"

"Oh, well… shouldn't you be a class higher then?" I was HONESTLY confused, I swear to god, I was not purposely picking on this kid even if I wanted to, how would I have known that he had managed to mess up his first year in middle school?!

I let go of Niall's hand slowly, putting my arm around his shoulder instead because he was leaning his head against me anyway, obviously liking what I was doing, on purpose or not. "Why would you be Niall's friend anyway, he's really boring and weird too."

Niall tensed up, I felt like he was about to shout something at the boy so I decided to speak up faster. "Well, it's a pity for you that you think that, there are a lot of my friends over there in high school who like Niall very much so maybe you should overthink your theories a little. And besides, watch your language, I don't think you want to find out what happens if I hear you talking about Niall like that again."

He was pouting now, obviously knowing nothing to reply anymore, except for one thing that confirmed all my theories about who he was. "At least I can kick a football when it's lying right in front of me, right, Niall?"

"You know, what's really cool when you're in high school? Playing basketball, maybe I should show you how to play, I showed Niall as well." Never mind I probably didn't even know the rules for basketball.

Really, nobody dared to say anything negative about Niall anymore, a few boys went back to their seats, the one I had talked to as well, it looked like he was pretty depressed now, that was good. Especially because Niall seemed really happy now, he was still too pale, but he smiled while I just continued to talk some of his classmates, mostly girls, who asked me if I could fix a broken bracelet, so yeah, that's what I did, completely ignoring the time until the teacher walked in. MY teacher, not for this class now, but my last period. Oops.

"Mr. Payne, what a pleasure, correct me if I'm mistaken but we should only see us for Biology in seven hours." While he talked, it had gotten quiet, everyone was sitting besides Niall, so I rubbed his shoulder a little, using the time that no one was watching and my teacher still talked to press a small kiss into his hair.

"See you soon, babe. Love you." Only Niall heard me, I let go of him then, readjusting the strap over my shoulder to walk to the door again. "I'm really sorry, Sir, I didn't watch the time, I was just brining Niall to class."

"Well then I suggest you hurry up now and I hope you haven't forgotten your homework." Well.

"Of course not, sorry for interrupting." I winked at Niall through the classroom before really going outside, he still had a smile on his face, so that would keep me going for the day.

I was late for my own class, since I didn't actually hurry up, because I didn't care too much about Arts class, so yeah.

That day was rather eventless, by the way Harry flung himself at me in the hallway I could that he was still thankful for last night, but also he asked me about how Niall was, that was really nice, I liked when people cared about Niall. Louis joined too, when Harry had made sure to let go of me again, they seemed just as close as before, which was good, I had been scared I had screwed up last night but they were completely fine, maybe even more over each other than usually. Which was hard to tell by now.

Hopefully Louis would talk to him soon, I really needed them to finally confess to their feelings for each other, I'd get a bunch of messages from Harry again this afternoon, I could already sense it. If they started dating it would mean they'd spend more time alone and I'd pretty much be on my own, at least for a while, but I was willing to sacrifice.

Lunch was pretty much the same as always, just like all my other classes, except for my last class, I had expected my teacher to forget about the morning accident, because, why would he even care, but he came not only ten minutes to late, but he also only opened the door, scanning the room before his eyes stopped on me. "Liam, a word?"

I obeyed, of course, thinking I was in trouble now even if I had no idea why that would be but as I pulled the door closed behind me and was immediately met by a hug I was only more confused. "Niall, what are you doing here, are you alright?"

There was another teacher as well, I didn't know her but I suppose Niall had her in a subject or something. "I wanted to bring him to his brother, but he requested you."

"What happened?" I swear to god, if anyone's picked on him again, I would lose my mind.

Niall was still clinging to me, I got down now, despite the presence of the teachers to hug him back properly, he wasn't crying just shaking a little as I rubbed my palm between his shoulder blades. "Well, he threw up, I took him to the school nurse but his parents aren't picking up, and I can't send him home alone."

"And you also can't take him Liam, I'm sorry, you'll have to wait until the end of this period." Great, this was just perfect.

"Can he stay with me during class? I swear, he won't bother anyone." Then, because I remembered something, I kissed the side of Niall's head, talking to him now. "Ni, are you still sick? Do you think you have to throw up again?"

"No, I'm better now…" He mumbled into my neck and I swallowed down a sigh, pulling away a little to press my hand against his forehead gently. Too hot.

"I knew this would happen…" Of course, he had been out in the cold yesterday, for far too long, he was getting sick now, shit.

"Liam? Did you hear what I said?" Right, the teachers.

"Umm… I'm sorry." Not exactly, it was really bothering me that I couldn't take Niall home now, he obviously felt bad, holding onto me for his dear life.

"You can bring him into class, it's alright, I know he won't cause any trouble." How would he even do that, had they looked at Niall.

"Thank you, sir." It was the only right thing to do anyway, I don't think Niall would've even allowed me to leave him with someone else, I just picked him up with me since his arms were still around my neck.

"Alright, Niall, you get better soon, okay?" His teacher smiled at me weakly before walking off, the situation was rather awkward, so I made sure to take Niall's backpack with me, feeling him tense as I stepped into the classroom again while my teacher held the door open for us.

Immediately, of course, everyone's eyes were on me, even if I made sure to get back to my seat as quickly as possible. "Aww, isn't that Zayn's littler brother, what's wrong with him? Is he okay?"

"Class, Liam can take care of our visitor perfectly fine so would you please get your books out everyone." I was really grateful for not having to answer anyone's questions, it's not that I was too nervous but I simply couldn't be bothered.

While everyone else moaned and got their books out, I made sure to make Niall sit in my lap properly, even if he refused to even bring one centimeter distance between us. "Ni baby, if you get sick you gotta tell me, okay? Or if anything else is wrong, speak up immediately, yeah?"

"Okay…but I'm better now. I'm just cold." He was whispering as well, luckily, so I took my jacket from the back of my chair, putting it over Niall since he curled up in my lap, making some girl next to me nearly die with adoration for Niall. Couldn't blame her.

"Sleep a little if you want to." It was quiet enough to do so, I didn't know if my teacher let us read silently just for Niall however I was really grateful for that, also for not getting asked one question that I couldn't have answered anyway because I was busy worrying about Niall for the whole period.

He slept in luckily, looking like a baby now, something that quite a few people, mostly girls, pointed out to me. So even though I had promised he wouldn't distract anyone and despite the fact that he was asleep, he made the teacher end the lesson five minutes early.

"Okay, since everybody is spending their time looking at the back when they think I don't notice you're free to go now. Liam, take him home safe." I was actually glad that they just let me take care of him and trusted me this much, I would've expected that they'd tell Zayn and not me, but it probably was because of Niall being this stubborn.

"Hey, Liam, do you need help with that?" As I looked up, some girls, who obviously only wanted to stare at Niall for a while, offered their help to get my stuff back into my bag without having to put Niall down or wake him up, I accepted, for his sake.

It was still pretty weird to be walking through school while carrying a sleeping Niall, trying to find out what to do now, I didn't even know if he had a house key or where the hell Zayn was or how he even was expected to get home.

"Liam? What are you doing?" Luckily I bumped right into Zayn outside of school, I was freezing my ass off now since Niall was wrapped up in my jacket to keep him warm, maybe I would've blushed at suddenly facing all of Zayn's friends staring at me, but my face was red from the cold already.

"Niall's sick, his teacher brought him to me but umm… can you get him home?" Actually I didn't want to leave Niall with Zayn at all, but I should probably get home myself and I didn't even know how to handle him being sick, I could just hope Niall's parents wouldn't have to work late again.

"Yeah, I guess… carry him to my car?" It didn't sound too happy, but I nodded instead of a sappy comment, waiting until Zayn had said goodbye to his friends before walking ahead of me through the parking lot.

"You should call your mum or so if she's not home, you know, so she can take care of him." He should've known that himself, I was just making sure.

"Yes, thank you so much." Zayn rolled his eyes, it came out pretty sarcastic as he opened the back door, motioning for me to put Niall inside.

It wasn't hard getting him inside or even putting the seatbelt on after dropping his backpack on the empty seat, it got hard when Niall's eyes flattered open slowly, he was still half asleep, but he didn't look good at all. "Li…"

"I'm here, babe. Zayn will take you home, okay?" I kissed his forehead, which was burning hot now, hoping he'd drift off again.

"But… why can't you come too?" That's what I had been afraid of, that whiny voice, wanting me to come along, it's just I didn't know how long Zayn and me would last in each other's presence without snapping at each other, he was patiently waiting now but still, neither of us knew of to take care of a sick child, he needed his mum and most of all, sleep.

"Look, I'll come over later, okay? I promise, Ni. But Zayn's gonna call your mum so you'll feel better and then you need to sleep, alright?" Niall didn't see the necessity in this, he was slightly pouting but nodding anyway, half asleep.

"You promise?" Of course, he only cared about the first part.

"Yeah, I always keep my promises, don't I?" He'd hopefully be asleep later but I'd come over anyway, now that I had promised and anyway, also because I couldn't last long without checking on him.

"Yeah…" It didn't seem to satisfy him completely however he also let his eyes fall closed again, allowing me to stand up again by letting go of my shirt.

As I closed the door carefully, I immediately started to feel bad now, it was just that despite everything, I still wanted to be the one to take him home, not Zayn, but I put those thoughts away. "Zayn… mind telling me how he's doing later or so?"

"Fine, I will. Or I'll have my mum do it. See you then, I guess." Clearly, he was very annoyed by all of this, I really hoped I could trust him enough with this as I walked over to my own car, surprised that I didn't get run over by the lack of attention I payed to everyone else.

Neither Louis nor Harry showed up, which was fine, I didn't spend a lot of them with them outside of school, yesterday had been an exception, even if they somehow tended to sometimes show up at my house completely uninvited and out of the blue, but yeah, my mum was glad at least.

When I got home, she wasn't there, so I decided I could pretend that my thoughts weren't only revolving about worrying about Niall and fed my cat, watching him for a bit before realizing I should probably eat myself.

It was a really bad friday afternoon, I was constantly staring at my phone, contemplating whether I should just call Niall's mum myself since Zayn had obviously decided that he didn't need to keep his words and I was losing my mind here. Hell, I didn't even know if Zayn had even informed his parents, maybe he had just left Niall all alone. But he would've called me then, right?

Right when I decided that I could just drive over, my phone started vibrating, a really bad time as I had left it out of my sight for the first time in four hours, but I managed to pick up in time. "Yeah?"

"Come over, Niall's woken up and he keeps asking for you and won't take any of the stuff mum told me to give him and he said he won't stop crying until you come." There was no 'please' or anything like that, Zayn sounded as if he was completely done with everything in his life while Niall kept yelling around in the background, something like 'I wanna talk to Liam, that's not fair, let me talk to him'.

"Fifteen minutes." Was all I said, pretty relieved, or actually not really because Niall was fucking sick but nobody had bothered giving him medicine or anything, I would've payed money to know where his parents were all the freaking time.

When I got there, Zayn had unlocked the door for me, maybe so he wouldn't have to come downstairs, because I heard the yells halfway up the stairs.

"No, I won't swallow it, go away!"

"Niall, you will take this, I don't care how long it will take!"

"I want Liam, not you!"

"Yeah, guess what, I'm not so happy about spending my day with you either, open your mouth."

"No!"

I hurried up at this, taking two steps at a time, because well, this was clearly escalating, I didn't like the fact that Niall told Zayn so openly he rather wanted me than him, but then again, no one was doing anything to stop that.

"Finally…" Zayn was on the edge of Niall's bed, trying to force a spoon into his brother's mouth while Niall was kicking and screaming to get him to leave, both of them looking up as I entered the room.

"Liam!" Niall used Zayn being distracted to jump up and run towards me, obviously wanting me to pick him up so I did it, automatically somehow.

"How do you feel?" Really bad, considering his watery eyes, the pale face, and how hot his forehead was as he snuggled against my neck yet his fingers were ice cold.

"Not good. Zayn wants me to take nasty stuff." I walked back to the bed, where Zayn looked like he would get up and shoot himself in the head any second but I sat down next to him nevertheless so Niall was in my lap now, keeping one arm around him because he was holding onto it.

"What does he have to take?" This was really not the situation I wanted to be in, I should've called my own mum.

"Here. There's more in the kitchen but since I couldn't make him take this I figured that bringing up even more wouldn't help." Yeah, well, Zayn was at least right with this one, he kept his distance to us, mostly because of me but probably also because Niall glared at him occasionally when he wasn't busy burying his face in my shirt and making me feel even worse for him.

Since I didn't just want to give him anything and because I wasn't putting my trust in Zayn, I quickly read over the package, wanting to groan. "He's not even allowed to take a whole spoon of this or even take it at all, he for sure doesn't weigh 50kg, are you kidding me. How much does he weigh?"

"How would I know, I think mum said 25 or so a while a ago, no idea, do you think I care just make him take this damn stuff." Zayn groaned at the question, I could tell he wanted to leave but he couldn't exactly just go without showing me what else Niall had to take.

"That sounds bloody underweight if you ask me." I couldn't help but glare at Zayn since there was no one else around but he just shrugged while Niall was getting really impatient on my lap, he didn't interrupt us but he kept moving and making noises as if he wasn't fine at all. "Okay, Ni, you wanna change in other clothes and then we go downstairs, alright?"

"I'll wait there, give me that." You could probably call it violent the way Zayn got the medicine out of my hand before leaving us alone, sighing deeply in frustration before doing so.

Niall seemed alright with my idea, he was still wearing jeans from earlier in school and I couldn't imagine that it was very comfortable like this while being sick, so he allowed me to put him down as I went for a search for other clothes. His closet was a mess as well, I sometimes pulled out stuff to ask Niall if it was alright, but he only nodded at the fifth shirt and some pajama pants.

"Are you cold?" After we were done changing and I had thought about how skinny he really was before I helped him putting on the new clothes, he wanted to snuggle up with me again, whining about how everything hurt and I sighed, why hadn't I managed to come here earlier, I should've known this would happen.

"Yes…" I felt really bad for him, he was so poor and small, I wished I could've changed places with him.

"Okay, one second." There were a hundred of things in Niall's bed, random blankets as well, so I just pulled one out from under the pile of stuffed animals and pillows, keeping Niall from climbing into my lap even if it made him pout but I had to put the blanket around his shoulders. "Better?"

After he nodded, I looked at him for a second, deciding that he was too cute to resist, so I pressed a few kisses into his face until Niall giggled and complained that I was tickling him, which made me smile, even if he only cheered up for a little bit, it was still an achievement.

"Let's go downstairs, come here. You wanna take one of those?" I was referring to the stuffed animals, he thought about it for a second before taking the unicorn I had bought, stretching his arms out towards me so I could pick him up again.

Just because I knew that Niall would pretend to be mad, I didn't point out that he was really cute wrapped up in the blanket and with his head on my shoulder, but it was the truth, even if I would stay the only one in this house with those thoughts since Zayn seemed even more annoyed when we came to the kitchen.

"What the hell was taking you so long? Here's everything my mum said he should take, if you wanna read the packaging again." Trust me, I would, even if Zayn couldn't have been more sarcastic, kept on texting as I placed Niall on the counter, doing exactly what Zayn had expected me to.

I was relieved to find out that this time the stuff was alright, at least I hoped so, I was too protective, I know, I was almost about to google all of it. "Babe, you gotta take this, okay? Please? For me? It's gonna make you feel better, I promise."

"Do I have to?" Niall was sucking his bottom lip in, making big eyes at me, almost as if he knew that I couldn't resist this face, but I sighed this time, nodding.

"Just take the damn-"

I cut Zayn off as he was about to yell from the back, he was really close to losing it now. "Yeah, I'm sorry, I know it doesn't taste so good, but we can watch TV afterwards, okay?"

So Niall took all of it without any complainant, his face scrunched up a bit, but he was doing fine after I told him that I was really proud of him, making him smile and even Zayn seemed surprised by this, his expression consisted of mixed feelings now, I had no idea what he was thinking right now, I also didn't really want to know.

"Good job, Ni, what do you wanna do now? Do you want something to eat? Or I can make you tea." Pretty positive he would say no, he looked like he'd pass out any second as he rubbed his eyes sleepily, leaning against me while I was just holding him, occasionally keeping his hair from falling into his eyes or kissing his head.

"No… can we watch TV now?" I felt no need to ask for permission so I nodded, still getting Niall something to drink because I've heard that you should stay hydrated when you're sick.

"Zayn, you don't have to stay, I got this." Actually, I really wanted him out of here now, because all he did was being in a bad mood and sometimes getting mad at Niall for being sick which bothered me, also because I couldn't yell at him or tell him to fuck off in front of Niall.

"Yeah, well, I still live here, you know." Probably he wanted to throw me out, but then he'd be alone with a crying Niall so I guess I was still better than that.

I just shrugged, because I honestly didn't care, we left him in the kitchen, Niall seemed pretty happy now when I cuddled with him on the couch, he occasionally whined about something hurting, but when I hugged him closer it seemed to be forgotten.

"How was school today by the way? After I left?" There was some kids show on that none of us really watched, Niall was in my lap, properly tugged in because I couldn't help it, sorting the fur of his stuffed unicorn out.

"It was good. Everybody asked me about you in the breaks and they were really jealous and nobody was mean to me. But then I got sick and my teacher wanted to take me to Zayn but he wouldn't have taken me into class like you." Yeah, he probably wouldn't have, I felt bad after Niall's voice got a little sad, so I ran my fingers through his hair softly as he leaned against my chest.

"I'm sure he would've. But it's okay, I don't mind taking care of you, you can always come to me if you feel bad, you know." He did already, with everything, the football thing for example, for which I still hadn't found a solution.

"I wish you were my brother…" No, no, this was really wrong.

"No, Niall, Zayn's your brother, okay? He loves you a lot, even if he sometimes yells or if you're mad at him, but you still mean a lot to him. He even stayed here today, because you're sick, didn't he?" If I continued telling him so many lies at once then I would start doubting myself, I swear, I wish Zayn would help me proving my point a little but we hadn't seen him in half an hour.

"Yeah… but you always have time for me and he doesn't." This was heartbreaking, I felt Niall cuddle into me tighter, tightening my arms a little in return.

"Well, Zayn has a lot of friends, you know, and a girlfriend as well, he's really busy, he doesn't do it to hurt you." And he was an ass, but yeah, couldn't say that.

"But you have friends as well and they're really nice." I suppose the reason why he liked Harry and Louis was because Harry was somehow a child himself and Louis had a guinea pig at home plus he knew how to talk to Niall because of his sisters.

"They think you're nice as well, Ni. Harry even asked me about you today at school." Hopefully we got away from the topic Zayn now, because I wasn't really keen on speaking of him as if we actually liked each other or as if I respected how he acted.

"I asked him if he told Louis that he loves him and he laughed and said that he would keep thinking about him in the shower first. What does that mean?" It meant that I would have to slap Harry.

"I have no idea. Harry is really weird, but he's funny. And he showed you a guinea pig, that's something, right?" Please, anything so he wouldn't ask me more about Harry thinking about Louis in the shower, god, he should've never heard such thing.

"Yeah…I've only seen one in the zoo but only once but Harry let me stroke it and it was really cute." Zoo… I should take Niall to the zoo when he got better.

"Well, better not let Loki hear that or he will be really jealous." I tickled Niall slightly as he looked at me, seriously worried as it seemed, but he giggled, making me smile. "It was just a joke, Ni."

"I know that!" He pouted a little, obviously he had not known that but it was fine because he put his head down on my shoulder again and even agreed to drink a little bit after I offered him the glass for the fifth time.

Niall slept in at some point, luckily, he needed to rest, and it was really adorable because he was snuggling both me and his stuffed unicorn, one hand near his face twisted in my shirt. I think I had smiled down at him really stupidly as I rearranged the blanket around his curled up body, maybe that's why I couldn't hear Zayn coming in and looking at me weirdly, but nervous as well somehow.

"Is he asleep?" Actually I had thought he had left, so it took me by surprise and I just nodded, forgetting to be mad for a moment. "Look, I… I need to talk to you."

"Okay?" This was the last thing I had expected to happen, but Zayn was being serious, he dropped himself at the other end of the couch, muting the TV but keeping his eyes on the screen as he sighed.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault that he's sick." True, I hadn't thought about this yet, but yeah, that gave me another reason to be pissed off.

"Well, you don't have to apologize to ME." At least I had an excuse to stay here now without making it weird.

"But you're the one who fixes everything that I mess up." I was more than just confused, I had never expected Zayn to be GUILTY.

"I'm not doing it for you, though. You could help a little in trying to make Niall believe that you actually care about him because it's getting hard to make up excuses for you." He could know that I wasn't an asshole, I cursed him in my mind but I would never mention it to Niall.

"I know… I heard what you said before. After he said he wishes you were his brother instead." Zayn gulped, Niall hadn't said INSTEAD, but we both know that that's what he meant so I stayed quiet, watching Niall's face as he slept. "I'm not good with kids."

"I noticed that." It didn't sound as sarcastic as I wanted it to, I felt bad now, because even though Zayn had acted like a jerk, at least he realized it.

"Yeah, but that's only part of why I'm doing this. Niall's supposed to not rely on me or even like me, so I'm really glad that he's got you instead." What the hell.

"What are you talking about?" Why wouldn't he want Niall to like him, it was like saying you wanted a puppy to be afraid of you, that was insane.

"Look… when Niall and me were younger, we never got along but it was just bantering, right? But … have you noticed how much our parents are gone?" I sat up a little more straight now, careful not to disturb Niall's sleep.

"Yeah?" Zayn refused to look at me, he watched Niall for a bit before staring at something else.

"It's because they started fighting really badly, two years ago. Niall was really scared because they were so loud and yelling and stuff, that's why he always comes to me, still, when something happens. Because I used to actually manage and be a nice brother for a while, but the fights got only worse. I told my parents they couldn't fight so much because Niall was so little, so that's why they're never at home. They work, all the time, because they don't want to see each other. Or they go out with friends, no idea what they are doing, but they're hardly at home at the same time for that matter." Oh.

"But… what has that to do with you and Niall?" Shouldn't he be there even MORE for Niall instead?

"They're getting divorced, Liam, that's the problem. And Niall's gonna stay with mum because his and dad's relationship is completely messed up but I wanna live with dad. If I really tried to be a good big brother, he'd be fucking devastated if I left. Besides that, I'd never be as good at this as you are." Even though he smiled now, sadly, my mouth was dropped open as I tried to grasp what he had just told me.

"I… I'm sorry… I had no idea, really, if I had known, I… I wouldn't have judged you so hard. I'm sorry, Zayn, really." Shit, I didn't feel as bad for Zayn as I felt for Niall though, he loved both Zayn and his dad, he'd be broken.

"It's fine, I really am an ass sometimes. Like, it wasn't part of my plan to forget him last night but I did. And sometimes… god, he really can be annoying, can't he?" Even though Zayn laughed and it probably was a joke, I just rolled my eyes.

"Actually, no." I loved this kid to death, I couldn't even take a little joke about this now, but at least Zayn wasn't mad.

"Sorry. See, that's why I'm saying it's good that he's got you. And he really loves you so much, he's always bugging me about how great you are even if I, don't take it personally, don't give a shit. But anyway, I just wanted you to know, we used to be friends some time ago as well and you shouldn't think I'm a complete asshole." At least now I didn't feel guilty anymore for all the lies I told Niall about his brother, that was a beginning I guess.

"Yeah, but that was a long, long time ago." I smirked when Zayn rolled his eyes, we wouldn't become friends again, we both knew it, but I think I could tolerate him now. "Sorry, if I shouldn't ask but… did your parents tell you when… you know…-"

"When they'll get divorced? Yeah, before Christmas. My dad can start his new job next year, so yeah, me and him will move about an hour away. You'll take care of Niall, right? Promise?" The 'Promise?' at the end made me listen up because Niall also made me promise everything I said.

"Yeah, promise." We smiled at each other for a second, until we both noticed it was fucking awkward, so I cleared my throat and stared at the floor instead and Zayn quickly stood up.

"Right, I have a date now. With my girlfriend. Sorry, you probably don't care, but I just  thought it sounded like I'm cheating. But no. Anyway, I have to go. Tell Niall that…" For a second, I thought he would never finish the sentence, but he actually leaned down, kissing the top of Niall's head. "That I lo- … that it was an emergency. He probably won't ask anyway, but yeah."

"Alright, I'll tell him that you love him." Zayn looked shocked for a second but then he calmed down, nodding before nearly leaving, but I remembered something. "Wait, umm… Niall told me that… well, he hates football practice and you know… could you talk to your parents about it? I… I don't think I should do that and Niall thinks they'll be mad at him." Zayn could at least do that, right? If he got along with his dad so well he'd be able to convince him.

"I'll try, okay?" I nodded, relieved, because it seemed like he'd really plan on doing it so I let him walk out this time, hearing the front door not five minutes later.

For a second, I thought about how sad this whole story actually was, but then again, if Zayn would stay here, if he and Niall got along better, I wouldn't play such an important role in Niall's life, which was a really scary thought. I needed him as well, he gave me something to do, because he loved me and he relied on me and I enjoyed being with him and taking care of him, I wouldn't give this up for anything.

"Li?" Niall started stirring soon after Zayn had left, he yawned before looking up at me with a really sleepy face, that I couldn't help but kiss after having such weird emotional thoughts.

"Are you okay? Should we go see what we find to eat?" He nodded gratefully, wrapping his arms around my neck as a very obvious sign that I should carry him, it made me smile, because, well, had he really thought I'd let him walk.

-------

"Lou, I really don't wanna share a room with you and Harry, for the last time." I couldn't believe they had even suggested that, were they fucking insane, just because Harry was scared he wouldn't be able to stop himself from crawling into Louis' bed at night and because Louis would probably not be able to control his feelings any longer and wake him up with a poem or something.

"Single rooms are expensive, Li." The sad thing was, I had still not managed to make them admit their feelings for each other, and it was only like ten days until Christmas.

"I think my mum can afford it, thanks for the nice offer." Of course, my mum had found the idea brilliant, so now I'd spend a week of my break with Louis, Harry, my mum and Harry's mum and sister, all of that only because Harry's stepdad was somewhere off for work.

"You could do something for me for once, you know, I came to the damn zoo with you and Niall." Of course, he hadn't minded it, he was more thrilled than me.

"You only came because Harry said he'd come too." He and Niall were actually looking at the zebras now, while Louis and me had fallen behind ever since Niall suggested him and Harry could play catch, but I could still keep an eye on them since they weren't that far away.

"That's not true. I would've come either way because I love Niall." Everybody loved him. But the mentioning of his name made me sigh, there was a good reason why we were in the zoo today, Zayn had told me that his parents would break it to Niall in the evening, they had already signed the papers but his dad would completely move out during the next week, get his stuff out and so, and Zayn would move to him after winter break.

"Thank you so much, Louis. Why don't you grow some balls and tell Harry instead of bothering me. Or ask his sister if she wants to share a room with you." Harry's sister was nineteen and could probably think of a hundred things she would rather do than share a room with Louis and Harry.

"Gemma could share a room with Harry. And you and me could-"

"No, Louis. He's gonna kill me and besides, maybe I don't WANT to share a room with you? Either of you." I had given up a week ago, and told Louis how Harry continued to text me every day about him, how he wanted me to talk to him and know every single word that came out of Louis' mouth. But I could exactly tell him that 'Louis loves you back but he doesn't know yet if he maybe wants to move away after high school so he'll never make a move.'. So that's why it was in my interest that they shared a room as well. And that Louis would man up.

"Fuck you, Li. That's not fair, it's gonna be SO hard to-"

"If it's so hard then just give in, how about that? The longer you wait the shorter the time you get to spend with him if you really do go. You'll regret not telling him sooner, trust me." With that I fastened my steps, because I had suddenly realized that Harry was not holding Niall up so he could pet the zebra but because he was making a 'joke' and pretending to throw him in the cage.

"Harry, Harry, no, let me go!" Niall was laughing half of the time, but then it sounded serious again, he was kicking his feet, but Harry was still stronger than him, not putting him down.

"But you told me that you wondered what it would feel like to sit on one." He wouldn't really do that… would he?

"Haz, maybe we should not feed Niallers to the zebras today?" As I came up behind them, Harry turned around smirking, he was still holding Niall who immediately started moving even more when he saw me, so much Harry was forced to let go at some point.

"Liam, Harry wanted to throw me inside!" He came running up to me, with pink cheeks, pretty breathless as well as I pulled him into my arms and picked him up.

"Well, Harry also won't get any cotton candy later, he's probably jealous of you." I faintly remembered Niall's mum telling me that I needed to stop feeding him so many sweets since he barely ate anything for dinner anyway, but I couldn't help myself and besides he was so skinny, I always thought that putting some weight on wouldn't hurt. Even if that didn't happen, because he was light as a feather now in my arms, like always.

"Louis will buy me cotton candy. Right Louis?" He had caught up as well now, looking at Harry's hopeful face before breaking out into laughter.

"Haven't you got your own money, Harry?" Niall was satisfied with thinking he was the only one who got some, he put his head onto my shoulder, a little tired since we had been here for an hour already and Harry somehow didn't know that Niall was eleven years old and didn't cut back while playing catch.

"Yeah, whatever." Neither of us could believe it, but Harry actually stomped off, pissed off, probably because Louis had been spending most of the day walking next to me, which probably also was why Niall was so clingy now, it seemed that both of them had some jealousy issues. Including me, I know Niall had been polite asking Harry to catch him, because I had been in a conversation, but still.

"What did I say?" Louis sighed, but he started running after Harry anyway. "Wait up, I didn't mean it!"

"Are they mad at each other now?" Niall didn't like fighting, he also had a really good reason for that and it reminded me once again that this day was for him and not for discussing my friends' love problems.

"No, they're just teasing each other a little, they'll be fine again, you'll see." I kissed his cheek to calm him down as he lifted his head again. "So now, did Harry let you stroke the zebra or did he just want to feed you to them?"

"Do you really think they would eat me?" He pulled his hand back immediately, making me laugh because this was really sweet.

"I don't think you'd taste so good, babe. You have to touch the nose, it's really soft. See?" Since Niall didn't attempt to move, I showed him before taking his hand to do the same, he pulled back a little but trusted me in the end.

"I liked the bunnies more." Niall liked everything that was small and fluffy so that didn't surprise me at all.

"Yeah, me too. You're my little bunny, Ni, you're just as cute." As I was about to put him down again after he laughed about me calling him that, he protested, holding onto my jacket.

"Can I stay with you for a while? I like Harry, but I like you a lot more. But don't tell him, okay?" All of a sudden he seemed to regret saying that, but I didn't, because I liked hearing stuff like this, I also liked that Louis and Harry loved Niall but still, I wanted to be the number one, it was childish, but I couldn't help it.

"I won't tell him, Nialler, promise. I like you more too and yeah, of course you stay with me, I don't feel like talking to Louis anymore anyway." Which was true, in fact I liked him so much I was about to ask my mum if we could take him along for the trip in two weeks as well, I didn't wanna leave him alone just after the thing with his parents and Zayn, but I had yet to ask.

He smiled really big, showing the whole that one of his teeth had left last week, it had been complete torture to get it out, not only for Niall but also my ears. "Can we go see the fish later?"

"Anything you want, Ni. If you get hungry or thirsty you just tell me, yeah?" Like always, we worked out pretty good by now.

Niall allowed me to put him down then, but he held onto my hand really tightly, which was a good idea because I didn't want to lose him and because I could warm up his since it was getting cold, there was no snow yet but Niall was wearing a beanie, one that made him look impossibly cuter than he already was.

Louis and Harry disappeared for a while, if I didn't know better I'd say they had sneaked off to make out, maybe they talked, which would be a really good idea and overdue as well. I just hoped that Louis wouldn't actually buy Harry cotton candy now and came back to us with it because that would make Niall pout really badly.

For a while, it was only me and Niall, I enjoyed that, he started talking about random things like always, telling me about how school was so much better ever since I randomly showed up during both our breaks and how he had gotten an A after I helped him studying even though he had already told me that three times. We also talked about the dinner he had had last night and then about Loki, I don't know what Niall's fascination was with my cat, but somehow we always came to that topic.

"You know what would be really cool?" I was helping Niall to stand on a rock so he could look down into the lion cage, which made him almost the same height as me so I put my arms around his stomach to keep him from falling.

"What?" His ideas were a little bizarre sometimes, I expected something really weird to come, not listening too well as I leaned my cheek against his head.

"If you could come over at Christmas as well." Oh. This had exactly been my mum's plan, since Niall's mum wasn't doing good lately, because of the divorce and all, we'd go over at Christmas eve to be with Niall, Zayn and their mum, but I wasn't allowed to tell him.

"Yeah… that would be really cool." I didn't know what else to say so I agreed, pretending I didn't know anything either, but it got me really sad because Niall wouldn't be spending this Christmas like he thought he would. "I love you a lot, Ni, you know that, right?"

"Yes, why?" Just making sure.

"I don't know, I just wanted to tell you." To brighten the mood, I kissed his cheek until he started giggling, telling me to back off because I was tickling him, he even put his hand over my mouth while still laughing, but I just blew raspberries into his palm before hugging him tightly to my chest, pretending to be sad. "Don't you love me too?"

"Yes, I do. I love you more if we go look at the fish now, I'm a bit scared of the lions." Niall's mood was perfect again now, I held his hand as he jumped down from the rock, swinging our arms between us when he kept up chattering about stuff.

Much to my surprise, we ran into Louis and Harry on our way, I quickly made eye contact with Louis to make sure they were fine, but he nodded, none of them looking like they had just been in a fight at all.

"Niall, I bet I could beat you to that fat woman down there." Yeah, Harry had still not learned to watch his words.

"Harry, language." I scolded, but he rolled his eyes at me while Louis held back laughter, way too amused by this, but I was being serious, they needed to stop swearing and using words like this in front of Niall.

"No, I stay with Liam now." He shook his head, not even thinking of letting go of me, which made me remember what he had said before.

"Maybe he would've said yes if you would've described her as slightly obese lady." Alright, this was what I hated about Louis and Harry making up after a fight, they had each others back suddenly, and it mostly went all against me.

"No." Niall said again, it was my turn to laugh now because it came out so dry, as if he actually understood what this was about.

"Aww, too bad." I pulled Niall along, not caring too much whether they'd come along or not, maybe it would've been better if they didn't.

Which would never happen, so it was four of us again, even if Niall kept holding my hand and spoke mostly to me and Louis threw his arm around Harry's shoulder, making him nearly jump up and down while I tried not to roll my eyes at this, he was leading him on, I hated it. But every time I brought it up it was just like 'But Liam, it's so hard to stay away' and then I'd get text messages from Harry like 'Louis kissed my cheek what do you think that means'. So yeah.

They also had fun looking at the fish, not as much as Niall did though, he pulled me along, hardly stopping enough to even look at them properly but he was so fascinated, mostly because the last time he had been to a zoo had been four years ago, with me also actually, but he could barely remember it.

"Look at this one, Li!" It wasn't that interesting, but I got down a little anyway to be closer to Niall's height and see what he was pointing at while he was holding my arm in place where it was around his stomach.

"Do you mean the weird yellow one, Ni? It looks a bit like Liam don't you think." Of course, now Louis cracked jokes to make Harry laugh hysterically, it worked, five people turned around to glare at him. No one ever glared at me though, because they saw Niall and then they fell in love, simple as that. "I wonder if it also would correct my grammar all the time."

"No, it doesn't look like Liam at all, that's really mean." Niall protested, making me smile, I wasn't mad at Louis, I knew why he was saying all this shit but Niall could get really worked up, especially if it was something against me.

"Woah, all's good, I was just kidding, Liam knows that, right?" He was about to put his arm around my shoulder as I stood back up, but Niall didn't seem to think so because he made sure to pull me along by my hand before it could happen, much to Harry's pleasure as well.

Louis had to pay for it by being ignored by Niall for the next ten minutes, he tried to make it up, make him laugh, but it didn't work which I found fucking hilarious, it was only fair. Plus I was the one who all of Niall's attention belonged to now, maybe he thought I had gotten hurt by Louis' words or something, but he glared at Louis every once in a while and continued to hug my arm and pressing kisses onto it over my jacket.

"Louis." So that's why I was pretty surprised when he said Louis' name all of a sudden, not looking at him though even if Louis turned, happy that Niall had forgiven him, but his face fell quickly.

"Who are you talking to, Ni, Louis is behind you." He was staring into a water tank, at a really big, ugly fish, tapping the glass a little, really, that one would've made a way better joke.

 And Niall had obviously thought exactly the same. "Oh. I got confused because they look so alike."

Harry nearly died, he tried to hold it back, for Louis, but in the end he had to go outside because he was laughing so hard, I was having trouble as well, making Niall happy because I knew how much he liked it when I found his jokes funny, well he had never managed to bring tears to my eyes before.

"Fine, Niall, I get it now, you're mad at me." Louis rolled his eyes, I didn't pay much attention to him pouting though, I just leaned down to Niall while still laughing, picking him up.

"I love you, Ni." I told him while carrying him out after Harry since this had been the last fish, trying to stop laughing which made Niall giggle as well, he put his arms around my neck, cuddling close.

"Don't be sad because of Louis, okay?" Aww, he was so sweet, I would've long forgotten about it by now, even if Harry was still having a hard time calming down now and all, but Niall was very concerned about me, he looked at me, really serious as well.

"I'm not, Ni bug, thank you." He smiled again after I kissed his forehead, wanting to break out into laughter again because Harry was about to throw up now or something, maybe because Louis was coming after us now, looking a bit pissed off but trying to look like it didn't bother him.

"Alright, Harold, we can calm down now, it wasn't that funny." Niall held on tighter to me as Louis threw a look at him, I knew that he wasn't mad at him or would ever say anything, but Niall didn't.

"Y-Yes it w-was!" Harry choked out, it seemed like it had just caused him to laugh even harder or something, I don't know, I was suddenly scared about his healthiness.

"Well, guess who I'm not buying any cotton candy." It was funny because the same things that worked for Niall did for Harry as well, he tried really hard to keep it together now, making Louis sigh because we all knew what he would be buying in a few minutes.

"I guess I deserved it." True.

"You did." To my surprise Niall agreed, trying to, I don't know, press himself closer into me as Louis looked at me, it didn't work obviously, because I was holding him.

"And you…" For a moment, Niall got really scared, I felt him tense up, about to tell Louis to stop and back off as he was coming closer.

"Lou-"

All he did was poking Niall's tummy, laughing because Niall reacted immediately, if there was one thing that made him giggle it was tickling. "Sorry for being mean to your Liam, forgive me?"

"I'll think about it." It didn't even sound close to serious, I knew he wasn't but Louis only smiled weakly, which I understood too well, it was horrible if Niall was mad at someone, so that's why I always made sure it wouldn't happen to me.

We all did go buy cotton candy, I bought one for Niall, getting a very sloppy and sticky kiss on the cheek and Louis bought some for Harry, rolling his eyes as if it wasn't a big deal but I could tell that he was enjoying the hug he received and also how Harry said they could share. Mostly because he wanted Louis to sit next to him probably.

Niall heard that, because about ten seconds later he sat up properly after leaning into me to look at me. "Li, do you want some?"

So I said yes, even if I didn't like cotton candy but Niall seemed as if he desperately wanted to share with me as well because the other two did it, so yeah, anything for him.

Since I had been given a time when to bring Niall back, we left an hour later, Louis had spent the past thirty minutes to try and get on a friendly level with Niall again, but he was only clinging to me now, hardly paying any attention. It happened a lot, when he got tired and wanted to cuddle, but I wasn't so sure if Louis knew that as well. "Ni, maybe you should tell Louis that you're not mad at him anymore, I think he'll be sad otherwise."

Niall nodded, understanding, but he didn't let go of my hand, instead he pulled me over to where Louis and Harry were walking, simply slipping his free hand into Louis'. "I- oh. Well, you okay, Niall?"

I saw the smile on his face because of this, squeezing Niall's hand to tell him that this had been a good idea, he just yawned, nodding at Louis' question. "You have to hold Harry's hand too."

"Yeah, you should, or he'll be left out of this." This was not at all awkward, but even if Harry tried to talk himself out of it with 'Nah, I'm fine, thanks', Louis found it hilarious, taking his hand anyway while we walked back to my car. I could see Harry blushing worse than ever before even though it was getting dark.

Since we had all come with one car, my mum's car to be exact, I thought I'd be the one driving us all back as well, but Niall got really whiny, not wanting me to sit so far away from him, so Louis ended up driving, to make it up to Niall and also because no one was able to see Niall sad. He was pretty happy with this solution, napping in my lap during the drive, not even bothered by Harry and Louis singing to every damn song on the radio from the front.

"Can you go to the door with me?" When we arrived at Niall's house, he didn't hesitate to put on his saddest face, normally he always begged me to stay a little longer or to not drop him off yet but he knew that his parents wanted to talk to him, I hated this, I was probably more nervous than them.

"Of course, come on. Guys, I'll be back in a second." They'd be able to see me anyway, so they just nodded, not really paying any attention to me as we got out of the car.

"Bye, Ni. Hope you had fun with us." Louis was really happy now after Niall had held his hand since he didn't do it too often with the other two and Harry only waved back to Niall before I closed the door, stretching my hand out towards him.

"Was it good?" I asked when we walked up to the front door, referring to the whole day, I hoped it was good because I needed him to know that I was still gonna be there for him after whatever they told him today, and Louis and Harry as well.

"Yeah." He seemed happy, a little down and tired but not too bad overall, hopefully this would all end good. "Li?"

"Hm?" I rang the doorbell while Niall refused to let go of my hand, he was actually holding it with both of his, playing around, halftime leaning into me.

"Can we hang out again soon? Tomorrow? Please?" It would actually be a good idea, like, there was a great chance he'd be pissed off or mad at his parents, maybe I could calm him down a little. Actually, I wished I could be there as well, but it was a family thing like, I couldn't interrupt in everything.

"I'll call your mum tomorrow, okay?" Even if she mostly said yes, thankful as well, we still had to ask.

"Okay." Niall was happy for now, it nearly made me smile. Nearly.

When his mum opened the door her face wasn't really what you call calm, our eyes met for a second, she knew that Zayn had told me and that I had asked my mum about it as well, but all she had told me when I came over to pick Niall up today had been that I shouldn't tell him anything. So yeah. "Hey, boys, how was it, Ni?"

"Really good, can I hang out with Liam again tomorrow?" Of course, he wouldn't wait for anyone to call.

"We'll see okay, now get inside, dinner's almost ready." They'd tell him over dinner?

Niall nodded, but he let go of me to wrap his arms around me, pressing his face into my shirt as I caressed his back a little, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. "We'll see us soon, Ni, all's good."

"I know. Thank you, Li." I felt how he hesitated before pulling away, he hated saying goodbye about as much as I did, especially today.

"You're welcome." More than welcome, I watched him slip past his mum and disappear inside, holding my hand up to say goodbye, but she didn't close the door just yet.

"Liam, one second please…" Well, not hard to figure out what this was about. "Would you mind if we called you later in case this is not gonna go like expected? He loses his temper really quickly and you seem to be the only one he wants whenever something happens."

"No, it's fine, just call me anytime, okay? I can also come over if necessary." In fact, I WANTED to, I spent way too much time here anyway.

"Alright, thank you a lot, also for today. And tell your friends as well." She had looked past me to do car, it was hard to overhear the music coming from inside.

"I will… good luck and… I'm sorry." No idea what I was saying, it seemed appropriate somehow, but I had no experience in reacting to a divorce and having to tell your kids, sure, my parents had gotten divorced but I had been 15 and it hadn't exactly come out of the blue.

"Thank you, Liam." At least she seemed to appreciate it before closing the door, leaving me alone to walk back to the car.

"Liam, they're not gonna kill him." Harry turned the radio down luckily as Louis started the car again as I got in, I had told them about the whole thing, even if no one got why it was such a big deal.

"I know it's just… I wish they'd let me stay as well, I don't know… his dad can be a little harsh. And Zayn as well." Even if Zayn had talked to me about the whole thing, things had not gotten better between him and Niall, I knew the reason but that didn't mean that it didn't upset Niall. The only good thing to come out of this had been that Niall had been allowed to quit football practice.

"Well, I will miss the parties." Louis sighed, immediately correcting himself as I glare at him through the mirror. "I mean, it's really sad for Niall and all but we haven't been good friends with Zayn, so… it doesn't hurt me personally."

"Yeah, me neither. But it's still kinda tragic and I'm worried." Not about Zayn exactly, obviously.

"He'll be fine, Li. Call us if anything happens?" It was nice to have them as my friends because they seemed to honestly care, that's also why I put up with all of their problems, because they had my back in return as well. Even if I kinda had broken Harry's trust, but it'd pay off in the end, if everything went like I had it planned, Louis would soon give in.

-------

After Louis had driven to Harry's house and decided that he needed to stay there for a little longer (yeah…), I got in the front seat myself to go back home, turning my phone on again because it had been on silent, I didn't wanna miss if anyone called me now, there was nothing good going to come out of this, I felt it.

My mum was worked up as well, she had been for a while now, because of this, I had been a little pissed off since she had known it all along and not said one word, but I guess it was none of my business after all. Even if somehow it was now, after everything that had happened. "Mum, if you hear anything can you tell me? Because of Niall."

"Of course. I talked to Maura before you came, they haven't told him yet." Good god could they just hurry up and get it over with and stop fucking procrastinating, it was bad enough they only told him the week it would happen.

"Alright, thanks." I picked Loki up on my way upstairs, it was kinda calming to have him with me, and Niall loved him as well so that was a plus.

Since it was a saturday, I had nothing to do, it was only six thirty pm and I had no school work to do as it was so close to Christmas break already, only one week left.

That's why I did what I always did when Niall, Harry and Louis were unavailable to hang out with, lie in my bed with only sweatpants on and praying that my phone wouldn't ring this time. Unless it was for Harry and Louis telling me they wanted me to be the best man for their wedding, I'd make an exception for this one.

For two hours or so, maybe less, my wish came true, I nearly slept in twelve times even if I had promised myself to at least stay up until midnight, so I tried to stay up with watching YouTube videos now, it worked, to some extend, until my mother ignored my need for privacy and bursted into my room without knocking while I was shirtless on my bed.

"Mum, you-"

"Get dressed and come downstairs, quick." This didn't sound good, before I could ask what happened, she had disappeared again, talking to someone on the phone and I could only guess that it was really bad.

Shit, this had been determined to go fucking all the way wrong, they hadn't even bothered calling me first, I wish Zayn would've at least texted me or something, then I wouldn't be struggling now to find a shirt that made me look a little bit less as if I was dressed for bed.

I managed to get downstairs in less than five minutes, really nervous now to hear what I was about to, my mum seemed really stressed about something, but she had hung up the phone. "What the hell happened?!"

"I'll tell you in the car, hurry up a little." God, why couldn't she tell me, I was pretty sure that I cared more about Niall than she did, because if this was just something about his mum and dad, no one would've bothered getting me into this.

"I am hurrying up!" No one could blame me for getting a little aggressive now, I didn't even put on a jacket and risked freezing to death as we went outside to the car. "Can you please talk to me? Where are we going? To Niall's-"

"No, the police station, and don't freak out now please, no one got hurt." THEN WHY?

"Did he go missing, tell me, I-"

"Yes, Liam, but he's there and he's safe, alright?" Well he couldn't be fucking SAFE if we had to go there as well, why hadn't they told us before, they must've noticed that Niall had run the fuck away.

My mum refused to talk to me on the way, she pretended that she had to focus on the street, not allowing me to drive because she probably expected me to run every red light, damn right. I don't know if it was appropriate to tear up, but I did anyway, while staring out of the window, hoping the tears wouldn't spill over. It was just, I care so much about Niall and I had been able to do exactly nothing, I felt guilty, for not being able to help, I promised him all the time I'd always be there and now that it was really important, I wasn't.

We arrived, way too late if you ask me, I could've brought us there in half the time. Niall's dad was outside the police station, smoking, maybe to calm down I don't know, I just rushed past him, pretending I hadn't seen just to nearly bump into Zayn, another face I hadn't been looking for. "Zayn, what happened?"

"Come on, I'll tell you." First I was confused why he pulled me away, but it probably was because his mother was crying in a chair over there and my mum rushed to talk to her, but WHERE THE HELL WAS NIALL?!

"Where's Ni-"

"He's in that room over there, with some police officers. Look, my parents told him the thing about the divorce and he didn't take it well at all. He kept screaming around and throwing stuff so they told him to go to his room and calm down. Well, about an hour later we got a call from the police that some couple had found him alone in the park and called the pol-"

"Wait, wait, nobody noticed he was missing?!" This was even worse, I would've gone off to see Niall myself and convince myself that he was alright, but Zayn wouldn't let me, he just sighed.

"No. I was in my room and my parents were in their room fighting again, he easily slipped out of the house. And now he refuses to talk to all of us, dad especially, my mum is too worked up to go in and well… I just tried my luck but he nearly kicked me. He also won't talk to the police officers about what happened so yeah, they can't let us take him home like that, he also made it clear that he doesn't want to." So that's why I was here.

"I'll go and-"

"Yeah, I told them you'd come, but be careful okay? I'm not sure how Niall will react right now, he's a mess and I didn't tell him you would come." Zayn seemed honestly worried, but he walked me to the door, explaining to some guy with a fucking gun who I was and that it was alright, so they let me inside, alone.

I was still worried about why they would expose Niall to people carrying guns and looking like the guy I had just seen, but this was pretty much forgotten when my eyes fell on Niall even if he didn't notice me.

He was sitting on a couch, I assumed that this kinda was a waiting or so, I wasn't really sure and also didn't care. There were two police women trying to talk to him, but he was curled up in himself, his clothes seemed pretty dirty and he was crying hard, he was pretty loud in general but what came out of his mouth broke my heart. "No, no, go away, I don't w-want t-to, leave me a-alone!" His voice broke at the end, he didn't look up but buried his face in his arms that were wrapped around his legs, he was making the whole couch dirty but no one seemed to honestly care.

Finally one of the women turned to me, she seemed a little strict but her voice was pretty nice nevertheless, maybe she noticed how I was kinda frozen in the doorway. "You are Liam Payne?" She didn't stand up, but it was kinda unnecessary to do so, because I had hardly any time to nod before Niall's head shot up, his eyes were red and watery, there was a band aid on his forehead as well.

"Li?" He whispered, sniffing again, I got down a little, half opening my arms, unsure how to react, usually he flung himself at me as soon as he saw me.

"Yeah, it's all good, Niall, I promise." Niall didn't seem so sure about this, he hesitated for a second, already scaring me a little with this but then he suddenly started crying harder before half running over to me.

I picked him up, not really knowing what to say now as he continued to sob into my neck, arms and legs wrapped around me so tightly as if he never intended to let go again soon, which was fine, I knew that he was completely confused and scared.

"Hey, baby… I'm here, okay? I'm not gonna let you alone tonight, I know you're mad and sad but I'm gonna fix it, Ni, I promise." What else could I have said, no one else talked besides me and I couldn't think of anything better than rocking Niall in my arms and pressing hopefully comforting kisses into his hair, I was just glad that he was okay, that he hadn't gotten lost or hurt or kidnapped or something like that, even if this situation was shit, it could've come way worse.

"I-I'm s-scared, I-I w-wanna…" Then he stopped talking, shaking even more, his voice was numbed, making it pretty hard to understand as well but I had had practiced, sadly enough.

"What do you want, Nialler? Tell me, please." I contemplated whether I should sit down with him, they probably wouldn't let us go before he talked.

"Go h-home with y-you…L-Liam…" This was unbearable, I pressed my eyes shut to force the tears to stay inside, Niall was crying too much for the both of us already.

"Yes, babe?" Slowly, I moved towards the couch, being met by a few relieved smiles, maybe because I had managed to make him talk.

"D-Dad and Z-Zayn s-said that…" Right, he had no idea I knew the whole story, I felt bad now, for keeping it to myself even though I had promised, it was probably really selfish to think that I would've been able to tell him without something like this coming out, but I did it anyway.

"I know, Niall, I know. I'm really sorry…" I sat down, which was a little complicated because Niall didn't seem to want to sit in my lap but rather keep staying like this, he obeyed after a few seconds, only revealing half of his face, but at least I was able to rub my thumb over his cheek softly, trying to catch a few tears.

"Niall, will you talk to us now that Liam is here? He won't go away, you can stay there." The women were nice but I was more worried about Niall himself than whatever they wanted to ask him, it probably wasn't a good idea to make him talk about it now, but I stayed quiet, focusing on hugging Niall.

"Okay, so did anyone hurt you? You can tell us anything, Niall, it's fine." Yeah, right, I hated this, I knew she had to ask but still.

"N-No… L-Li I wanna g-go…" There was nothing more I felt like doing more but I didn't respond, I just hoped to calm him down with my presence and while stroking his hair slowly.

"You can go with Liam as soon as you tell us what happened, we don't wanna scare you, Niall, we just care about you." He wouldn't tell them and that's all i was certain about, he wouldn't even speak a whole sentence, maybe they knew it too because they sighed.

"Why don't you wanna talk to your parents or your brother? Is it right what they said, they're getting divorced? I know this is pretty sad, Niall, but see, you got Liam here taking care of you, just tell me yes or no and you can go." This was frustrating as hell.

"Y-Yes…" I wished I could've just told them what happened, because I was pretty sure that it had been exactly like Zayn had told me, which was also the most likely option since I knew Niall very well.

"Okay, so nobody hurt you or anything?" He didn't seem hurt, physically, I mean there was this band aid on his forehead, but he was pretty dirty in general I assume he had fallen down.

"N-No…"

"You're not gonna run away again? If Liam promises you can stay with him, will you go with him then?" No idea if his parents would allow it, or my mum, but I was pretty damn convinced that I wouldn't take him to his own house tonight unless he wanted me to which I doubted.

"Yeah… " It was a wonder they even understood his words, his voice was numbed by my shirt and he wouldn't move.

"So, you're not gonna stay with your parents or your brother then? If I bring in any of them in, would you wanna talk to them?" This was fucking crazy, I was literally the only one who he had even allowed to touch him, probably that's why his mother was outside crying.

"No!" I'd say this was pretty clear.

"Alright then, no need to shout, okay? Liam, how old are you?" Right, they couldn't just give me a child to take home with me, we weren't even related or anything.

"Sixteen, but my mum is outside." I didn't care what she said, she'd have to realize that we had to take Niall for the night.

"Alright, I'll get her in, you can take him outside now. Niall, I'm really sorry, about your parents, okay? I'm sure this is gonna be okay, you got Liam, right?" She didn't have to carry on after telling me we could go, because Niall refused to look at her or acknowledge her words, he pressed himself tighter into me again as I stood up, going for the door immediately after saying something that maybe sounded like goodbye or something.

Zayn came up to me immediately, luckily Niall didn't even check around, so he also stayed pretty still in my arms. "Liam, what happened?"

We both watched when they asked for my mum, she touched my arm while asking by, I may or may not have let a few tears spill over before. "We'll take Niall home with us, he…he refuses to go with you or your parents. Sorry, Zayn, I… "

"I's fine, if Niall wants that, I understand, mum is probably gonna freak out a little. We should go over." There was still no sign of their dad, but Niall's mum had calmed down a little, she waited until we walked over and Zayn took a seat beside her, throwing nervous glances at me while I kept some distance, hoping Niall wouldn't start screaming now or something, he was pretty still now, not talking anymore, keeping his head buried in my neck.

"Liam, your mum and I talked and… and I think it's best if you take Niall home with you until… until this is all over. He doesn't wanna talk to me anymore anyway and… he only lets you hold him, it wouldn't be good for him to be home this week while… while his dad moves out. And I can't promise that the fights will stop." Wait, she giving him to me and my mum for the whole week?

I wasn't the only one surprised, Zayn seemed to be taken a little off guard, but then he nodded suddenly, standing back up as I froze. "Niall? Do you wanna talk to me again? Or mum?"

No response, but I felt him gripping my shirt tighter so I assumed he had heard, his brother sighed, letting his hand drop, as if he had thought about reaching out but realized Niall would only back away or tense up.

"My mum agreed to this?" I questioned this, she always told me that I was getting too attached to Niall, that he was still so little, he would grow up and not want me to babysit him anymore, stuff like this, so it was pretty surprising for me as well.

"Yes, it's the best for Niall." She stood up as well, wiping her eyes again with a tissue before coming a little close. "Baby? Are you not gonna say anything to me? I'm sorry I yelled and I'm sorry about what happened, but I love you very much, Ni."

It was probably hard, not getting the tiniest reaction to this one, but I understood Niall somehow, maybe my way to judge this situation was a little messed up because of how close I was with Niall compared to the rest of his family but they had told him he'd pretty much lose both his dad and his brother, yelled at him and then nobody noticed him running away. God, I wished that I would've been there, this day had been really good now I was in a police station at ten pm.

I didn't sit down, I just walked up and down a little, trying to tell Niall that he was fine, I also asked if he was even okay with staying with me for the whole week, he said yes, while crying, but I was pretty positive that I had heard right, at least he didn't get loud anymore or tried to push me away.

We didn't have to wait long for my mum, she seemed a little stressed after coming out, turning to me first of all. "Liam, take him to the car, here are the keys, I'll be there in a second."

Without asking any questions, I took the keys, throwing a last look at Zayn who nodded at me absently, I was just really glad to get out of here. "We'll go to the car, okay, Ni? Everything will be okay, I'm here."

His dad was still outside, he shortly asked me if I would take Niall home with me, trying to talk to him one last time before giving up on it and letting me go.

Now I was glad that my mum could drive since Niall refused to let go of me, it complicated getting into the backseat a little but I managed it somehow, pulling the door closed behind me and plunging us into complete silence besides Niall sniffing quietly sometimes or breathing a little too heavy. "Niall? Do you wanna talk with me about anything?"

"Are you mad at me…?" His voice was only a whisper, I rearranged him in my lap a little, so I could reach his face easier, shielding it with one hand.

"No, of course not, why do you think I would be mad?" I think he shrugged a little or so, but I suddenly felt his hand on my arm, holding onto me.

"I think… I think everyone is mad at me… are Zayn and dad moving out because they don't like me?" Oh god.

"No, Niall, no, this has nothing to do with you at all, I swear, babe. No one is mad at you, they all love you, this is about your mum and dad, look… they… they don't get along so good anymore and they don't wanna fight in front of you so that's why your dad will move away, but you can still visit him and he will come visit you, I promise." Maybe it would help if I told him about my own parents, even if I didn't see my dad anymore at all because he had a different family and different kids now.

"If I weren't there… would he not move out? Because then him and mum could fight and I wouldn't hear it." Why was I so bad at putting things in words?!

"No, Ni baby, that's not what I meant, look, sometimes you get into a fight with people and then you don't get along so well anymore so it's best if you don't see this person so much anymore because fighting is not good, right?" I got a sniff as reply, but he nodded slowly against my shirt.

"But why is Zayn leaving too?" The thing was I didn't know why Zayn was leaving too, he had a girlfriend here and all of his friends but I had never dared asking, also I hadn't thought I'd have to be the one to explain it to Niall.

"You know… Zayn is growing up and when you grow up you wanna go see different things and different places and … it wouldn't be fair to let your dad go all alone, right? He needs some company as well. Trust me, Zayn doesn't wanna leave you behind, you'll still see him and he's gonna be there for Christmas as well." And probably not taking much part in it, but still.

"But… you're as old as Zayn… are you gonna go away too?!" This realization hit him hard all of a sudden, I was glad that unlike Louis I had decided to stay and go to the university not even 20 minutes away from my house. Not only because of Niall, he probably wouldn't need me as much anymore when I was finished with high school, but Harry would go there too and I kinda didn't know what the point was in moving away when I'd be completely friendless. Besides my mum had told me she'd help me find a flat if I decided to stay.

"No, no I won't, I'll be there as long as you need me, alright? I won't leave you alone, never." My words seemed to calm him a little bit, he snuggled his head in my shoulder again, breathing out slowly. "Are you okay with staying at my house, Niall? Your parents don't want to upset you or anything, they also don't want to get rid of you, they just want you to be okay. I can bring you home whenever you want to."

"I wanna stay with you." It sounded pretty convinced, but I knew he could change his mind soon, so I guess I'd just have to wait.

Niall was happy with snuggling with my until my mum came back, we talked a little, I tried to take his mind off and stuff, dry is face a little, promising him we could go hang out with Louis and Harry again soon if he wanted to, anything to cheer him up.

"Alright, Niall, is it okay if we go to your house? Just Liam, you and I? We get a few of your things and then drive home, okay?" My mum immediately turned overprotective, Niall had agreed to all of this before but she was checking again as soon as she had started the car. I really wanted to know what she thought about all of this but I didn't ask, I'd wait until Niall was asleep and safe in my bed.

The drive was rather quiet, I think Niall was really exhausted now, he yawned a few times but I got him smiling a little by kissing his face until he giggled, turning in my arms and allowing me to finally fully look at his face. His band aid wasn't big, I made sure there got no hair stuck in it. "Where's this from, Ni?"

"I fell… and it hurt and then this man and this woman asked if I was okay but mum says not to talk to strangers so I didn't but they called the police and I said I didn't wanna go with them but they made me." I could only imagine that this had scared him pretty badly, not even talking about wandering alone when it was getting dark so I quickly hugged him to my chest again.

"It's okay now, you're fine and safe." He relaxed again, I hoped he wouldn't sleep in because I had no idea what stuff to pack him and I also wouldn't have the heart to wake him up.

Niall didn't wanna talk anymore, I had to pull his fingers away from his mouth because he was starting to bite skin off again and I really didn't wanna have him hurting himself, I knew it was a habit, but I had made it my goal to get him to stop this.

"Liam, you can go alone with him, Maura gave me a house key, there's a bag in Niall's closet, just take some stuff like clothes, it's not so important, I can still come back if we forget something, okay?" The reason why my mum said she would wait in the car was because Niall rarely talked in her presence, it had gotten a lot better but she didn't know her really well so he was still shy and more likely to tell me what he wanted me to pack if we were alone.

"Okay, come on, Ni. Should I carry you?" Since he nodded, I had troubles getting out of the car again while Niall just dropped his head on my shoulder, not complaining when I shifted him around.

It was really weird, to walk through the house just like this and without even bothering to take our shoes off because this was really the last thing I thought of, I just went straight to Niall's room, seeing the bed all messed up and everything lying around made me sigh, I didn't have to guess what had happened before he had decided to just run away.

"Okay, baby, I'll put you down and we get the bag, we put in whatever you wanna take to my place, alright?" A slow nod, the lack of words worried me a little now, but he didn't cry or tried to keep holding onto me like he sometimes did so maybe he was just tired.

The closet wasn't as bad as expected, I found the bag easily, not really sure if Niall would bother which kinda clothes he wanted to wear so I picked the ones I had seen him wearing the most.

It went by better than expected, Niall got his toothbrush from his bathroom and we also had to take his school stuff for the whole week so in the end I couldn't carry him back to the car because I had my hands full. Niall was okay with it, he walked next to me, carrying Marshmallow and the stuffed unicorn, hurting me a little by not jumping down the stairs like he always did when he was happy, it always gave me near death experiences but seeing him sad and hurt like this was worse.

When we finally got home, my mum left it up to me to take care of Niall, knowing it was the best anyway, I also didn't ask him if he even wanted to sleep in my room or not, I just took him there, dropping everything on my bed. He was incredibly tired now, I could see how his eyes nearly dropped close every few seconds, silently thinking that we were lucky that it wasn't a school night.

"Ni, if you leave your stuffies there we go to the bathroom and get the dirt off your face and change clothes, okay?" His hands were dirty as well, I didn't even want to know where he had fallen down or how often, I was just glad when he nodded, reaching out for my hand.

I placed Niall in front of me as I sat on the edge of the bathtub after wetting a towel, trying to be as gentle as possible, it bothered me, that they had just put a band aid on when it probably wasn't even disinfected or anything, so I changed it, cringing a little because it wasn't just a tiny scratch like expected. Niall complained a little because it burned but I couldn't help him besides letting him cry a little over it.

"Hey, it's all good now, okay? I promise it's not gonna hurt anymore in a little bit, come here, wash your hands and then you can put your pajama on." He sniffed, letting me kiss his forehead and help him getting his hands clean.

Since I had no idea what to do with his dirty clothes I left them in the bathroom for my mum to figure out, taking Niall back to my room.

"You take the bed and I'll sleep on the-"

"Why? Why aren't you sleeping in bed with me?" Niall seemed disappointed when I only sat on the edge of my bed, tugging him in instead of getting in as well, there was no way I could even think of going to sleep now.

"I… you want me to lie down with you?" I had planned on just waiting here until he fell asleep, but when he nodded now, pouting a little because I asked instead of just going ahead, I felt myself getting a little softer. "Okay."

Even if I didn't get under the blanket because it would wake him up if I left again, Niall was satisfied with that, he curled up under my arm, closing his eyes, at least I think he did because I didn't check. "Are you taking me to school on monday?"

"Yeah…and to class as well if you want to." His hair was really fun to play with and it would put him eventually to sleep so I did that when I remembered something, just blurting it out without thinking. "I can take you to school every day now."

"Liam?" Luckily he had not commented on the last thing now, I felt kinda bad to bring it up, his dad had taken him to school, I shouldn't have even mentioned it. "Is it bad I'm more sad that Zayn is leaving and not because of dad?"

"No… it's fine, Niall, you can't decide which one makes you more sad, okay? And it also doesn't matter, I'm pretty sure Zayn is really sad about leaving you as well, that's why he's only going after Christmas." I didn't know if that was the reason, but I could pretend, at least he had confirmed me that he cared a lot about Niall.

"I don't know if Zayn is really sad… sometimes I think he doesn't like me…" Sometimes I thought that too, but I liked to remember how he had managed to get Niall out of football practice then and how he had kissed his head when he had been asleep.

"He does like you. You know, some people can't really show when they love someone, maybe because they are scared, I'm pretty sure he is scared about losing you now. It's like with Harry and Louis, they love each other but they never say it out loud, and they also have little fights like today in the zoo but it doesn't mean they don't like each other." Wow, I was really getting into this now.

Niall stayed silent for a bit, I started to think he had either fallen asleep or hadn't understood what I was talking about but then he spoke up again. "But I like when you tell me that you love me."

"That's good because I like saying it." And hearing it in return as well, this conversation was about to put me to sleep, I changed my mind all of a sudden, moving around a little so we could share the blanket, something Niall welcomed immediately, it meant he could cuddle closer. "You should go to sleep, Ni, it's like midnight already."

"Are you gonna stay here?" Right, I couldn't move anymore now.

"Yeah, of course." I patted his hair lazily, fighting hard to keep my eyes open, it would be bad if I slept in first.

"Okay, love you, Li." He yawned, I felt myself a little relax, I had gotten what I had wanted after all, for Niall to be alright.

"Love you too. Sweet dreams." Niall didn't answer anymore, his breathing got even after not even two minutes, so I decided to turn the light on my bedside table off, wanting to put my head down as well when my phone lit up.

Harry had sent me an image, I thought about ignoring it and checking tomorrow but he sent me a caption as well saying I did it Li.

So then I expected something really stupid or gross, sliding my thumb across the screen to check. It was a picture of Louis sleeping in Harry's bed, in one of his shirts as far as I could tell, this was really creepy, but it was also really sweet and I was happy for Harry, even if it didn't mean that they had talked at all, but I knew that lately Louis hadn't wanted to sleep over anymore because of his lack of self control. Harry had taken it personally of course because he didn't know the reason so yeah, I was really happy for him.

I thought about sending him a picture of Niall looking like a baby right now but let it be, it would only cause him to ask questions that I was too tired to answer.

-----

I was woken up in the morning by my mum going downstairs really loudly. Not even Niall was awake yet, I was confused for a second, about literally everything, but then I looked down at him sleeping curled up next to me. And the mess containing of his stuff on the floor explained a lot as well, right, this was probably gonna be a really stressful day, so I lied back down, putting my arm around him again where it had been the whole night.

There were a bunch of messages on my phone from Harry, nothing unusual, the content was a little more cheerful this time, which was good but it was only eight in the morning and for Niall it was probably sleeping in because he had stayed up too long last time.

So since I had nothing to do and I didn't want to get up, I read through what Harry had sent me, it was basically a description of the whole last night. They had talked, and Harry had obviously told Louis that he was gay which probably hadn't surprised Louis at all but it seemed that he was good at pretending, they had also both slept in Harry's bed, well Louis was most likely still asleep because Harry texted me saying that he could see if I had checked the messages or not, so he knew that I had been ignoring him. Oops.

That's why I sent him a picture of Niall pressed into my side and tightly asleep now, hoping it would explain why I hadn't bothered texting back. Even if I probably wouldn't have either way.

I regretted it immediately.



Harry 8:09 am

HE IS SO FUCKING CUTE LIAM BUT WHAT HAPPENED WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME and also can i come over later louis has to go visit his grandparents today



He was so weird, I didn't know if I wanted Harry to come over today but I said yes anyway and I also told him that I'd explain everything later because Niall suddenly started moving.

"Liam?" Niall stretched a little, like a cat, yawning slightly before his eyes flattered open, attempting to sit up.

"Yeah, I'm here, are you okay?" I didn't want to sit up as well so I just rubbed his back slowly, watching him worriedly, I was scared he'd start crying all over again or request that I'd take him home which wouldn't be a good idea at all.

"Yeah… " After another yaw, he looked down at me, too sleepy to tell if something was up but not even two seconds later he cuddled down into me again, pulling the blanket up higher.

"Someone's a little sleepy, hm?" This was good, sleepy was better than sad and Niall giggled when I leaned over him.

"You're still in bed as well." STILL was not the term I would use for eight in the morning.

"Well, that's true. Do you want some breakfast? We got Nutella and-"

"Yes!" See, this was the way to make Niall happy, he wasn't allowed to eat Nutella anymore at home, probably because his mum knew how much sweets I gave him during the day and I wouldn't stop now.

"But you can't eat it with a spoon." I knew exactly the way his thoughts went, even if he laughed now, telling me that he would have never ever thought of this in a million years, that's exactly what he had thought of.

The way Niall behaved now made it hard to believe that yesterday had even happened at all, it had, of course, my mum's worried face was proof of that, even if she seemed as relieved as me to see Niall cheerful as ever. "Well, good morning boys. Did you sleep okay, Niall?"

He nodded, even smiling back at her, which didn't happen so often, I don't know, it made me happy but I knew that he wouldn't stay in this mood for the rest of the week. "Sit here, Ni, I'll be there in a second."

I figured I would make Niall breakfast myself since I knew what he liked anyway, my mum kinda watched me with amazement, which I only noticed when I was halfway done, but it made me blush because I realized that I was really acting like a parent or brother to him, I just couldn't help it, I had never been like this before.

Niall was really happy about this, he also thanked me too many times which made me smile stupidly before sitting down next to him, not bothering to tell him that you usually didn't touch your Nutella toast with your fingers to lick it off.

"So, Niall…" My mum started, only grabbing half of his attention, I wasn't listening very well either, I tried to help him eat properly without everything ending up on his shirt. "You're okay here, yeah?"

"Yes…" He blushed terribly, looking at me, as if he needed support so I decided to smile, keeping my arm around the back of his chair.

"I talked with your mum before and she told me that she's very sorry about everything and she loves you very much. She only wants the best for you, okay? It's only for one week and as soon as you want to go home you just tell me or Liam, alright?" It was unnecessary to tell him all of this again because I had already done it, I was way ahead.

"Okay." He wouldn't tell her, there was no need at all to talk about any of this but maybe she felt responsible, I don't know, I just focused on being ready to catch the mug full of hot chocolate that Niall seemed to be about to drop any second all over my lap.

"Good. Liam, you got this, right?" Niall's answers consisting of a maximum of one word probably were the reason for her to stand up now.

"Yeah. Mum, Harry is gonna come over later, okay?" She loved Harry so there was no need to ask, I just thought it would be awkward if she ran into him in the hallway again like last time.

"Really? Is Lou gonna come too?" Niall was the first to answer, his face lit up, which was really good because I wouldn't have known what to tell Harry if Niall didn't want him to come over.

"No, he's visiting his grandparents, but we'll have fun with Harry too, right?" I tried to be enthusiastic even though I wasn't as excited as Niall seemed to be, his dimples were showing and I couldn't help smiling back anyway, maybe also a little bit because he had somehow managed to get Nutella on his forehead. "Come here for a second, Ni."

"Why?" His face scrunched up a little as I started rubbing on his skin with a napkin, making me laugh a little when he was cleaned up again.

"Maybe we should try and not use Nutella as body paint today?" Niall nodded thoughtfully, as if he seriously had to take this in at first before continuing with his breakfast.

It only occurred to me now that my mum had gone without giving me an answer, I assumed that she hadn't felt the need to, also it was more normal if she left us alone,  we never spent much time together and I felt qualified enough to take care of Niall by myself for a while. Had had enough practice.

Since I couldn't really tell if Niall was only fine for the moment or not I was a bit worried about leaving him alone in my room, even if it was just for taking a shower, I let him cuddle with Loki and watch TV in my bed, but I still hurried up, nearly slipping a few times as well just for everything to turn out fine, because Niall was glued to the screen anyway.

I told him to go shower as well, hoping he'd be fine, but he was eleven, right? At home his mum had often told him the same thing, causing him to throw a fit and whine but when I told him, he gave in instantly, so that was a good sign I suppose, even if I nearly died of worries, I was losing my damn mind here, he wasn't made of glass after all, even it felt like it sometimes.

Of course he came back though, despite my worries, even fully dressed, his hair was dripping wet but that could be changed, I was just relieved for no reason. "Give me the towel."

Luckily he had taken it with him now, Niall didn't think of anything as he handed it to me, but I kept him there standing in front of me while I sat on the edge of my bed, making him squirm immediately as I rubbed his hair dry with it, but there were also a few giggles so it was okay. "Liii, stooop."

"In a second, don't you wanna look nice for Harry, Ni?" Considering that I wasn't really looking nice myself right now this question was pretty dumb.

"No, I don't. Louis should try and look nice for him, not us." It was kinda sweet that he referred to the both of us instead of only himself, but he was right. Niall was getting everything that was going on between Harry and Louis, I was just waiting for the moment he'd open his mouth and spill something in front of them, not that I would've minded it anymore, secretly I wished for it, so I wouldn't have to do it, Niall was innocent, therefore easily forgiven while I would be blamed for it until the die I died probably.

"I don't think he has to try anymore, babe. Harry would probably still like him if he wore a plastic bag and shaved all his hair off." I shouldn't have said it in front of Niall, there was a chance he would repeat it sometime, he did it with a lot of stuff I just blurted out mindlessly which was also the reason why I was so strictly against Louis and Harry swearing in front of him, I didn't wanna be a bad influence.

"Well, that's because Louis is funny." Niall backed away from the towel, his hair was just damp now so I let him be, leaning back against my pillows as he climbed into my bed as well. "Li, what's your favorite color?"

"Umm…" Being caught a bit off guard by this sudden change of topic, I thought about it for a while, about to say black but knowing he would probably complain and command to hear something else. "I guess… green."

"Okay." I had at least expected some kind of an explanation, but Niall just kept sitting next to me on the bed, simply smiling at me.

"Why?" It was hard to not return the smile, he was so cute and I liked the way he just randomly decided he needed to be closer to me so he half cuddled up into my side before answering.

"You can't know. It's a secret." Now I was really confused.

"A secret?" Maybe he was just being silly, you never knew with Niall.

"Yes." With that he just stayed quiet, still with a happy face, I didn't really spent too much of a thought about it, especially not after he wiggled around a little until I understood that he wanted to lie under my arm.

"What's wrong, you cold?" Hopefully nothing sad, I didn't want him to go home, it wouldn't do him any good and besides I had already gotten used to the idea of him staying here until next weekend.

"No… but you're soft and warm." So he was just cuddly, this was fine, especially since I was tired as hell because I usually would still be asleep for a good few hours, we definitely needed to go to bed sooner tonight, but for now, I put my arm around him, hoping none of us would doze off.

We didn't do much the whole morning, my mum had to go somewhere so she took the car with her, not like we had intended to go anywhere, I helped Niall finish some homework, actually, I was the one ending up doing it, but only because Niall looked really cute and like a poor baby when he didn't understand it after a few tries, I couldn't resist a look like this.

When it was around lunch time, I took Niall downstairs because I was getting hungry, yes, even after lying in my bed and watching Niall play video games or occasionally tickling him to distract him a little from the TV just because I loved to hear him giggle even if he pretended to pout afterwards after he had lost because of me.

"I hope you won't be too disappointed with me but all I can make is spaghetti. Unless we wanna burn down the house then I'd be glad to try something new." My jokes were always really bad, this was another reason why having Niall around made me feel better, because he laughed at everything I said.

"Can I help?" Nobody would've been able to resist his puppy eyes, I nodded even before fully getting what he had said.

"Of course, I'll need an assistant anyway." Actually not, it would only take me ten minutes which was also the reason why I this was the only food I was able to prepare without completely messing up.

Niall seemed thrilled anyway, just like all the time I told him I needed his help, he seemed really proud and it made me wonder why I had so much impact on him, I wasn't even someone he should look up to, I didn't do anything.

"Okay, come here…" I lifted him onto the counter, making sure that he wouldn't sit too close to the stove even if it was still turned off, but I wasn't that of an idiot. "You can pour this inside the pot. Slow."

Actually I had been prepared for the sauce to splash everywhere, but Niall somehow managed not to, which surprised me because he hadn't even bothered thinking about my instructions.

"Here, stir it, I'll be right back. And don't touch the stove, it's on now, okay?" After giving him a spoon, he nodded, probably just because and not because he had heard me, I watched him for a bit before deciding that it was safe to go get noodles from the other end of the kitchen, it were only five steps, but still.

We did good, I think, there was noting much to help at all but Niall seemed satisfied that I let him do anything, he also was beaming when I asked if he wanted to feed Loki, which was a relief actually, I always almost gagged at the smell of cat food, Niall didn't seemed to mind, he even stayed on the floor to watch when my cat came and I tried to not mess up the only meal I'd ever be able to cook.

To both, or all three of us actually, our surprise, someone rang the doorbell, which was weird, my mum had a key.

"Ni, can you go and ask who it is? Don't lock up if you don't know them, okay? I need to watch this." To be honest, I was just scared that he'd burn himself in here or so, even if letting him go to answer the door wasn't such a good idea either. "Actually, tell me who it is before locking up."

"Okay." He padded Loki's head before jumping up, half hopping out of the kitchen and out of my sight. Wow, THIS made me nervous.

For a few seconds, I only heard Niall ask who it was, but then he yelled rather loudly at me through half the house. "It's Harry, can I let him in?!"

Wait, why was he here? What was this all about standing in front of my house without calling first. "Yeah, lock up."

From the hall, I heard Harry's excited voice at seeing Niall, he was probably even more giggly than Niall now. "Hey, kiddo, what's up? What's Li so busy with?"

"He's cooking us lunch. And I helped." It sounded proud, they were coming closer but I still had time to stupidly smile to myself over Niall's cuteness.

"He'd probably poison both of you if he didn't have you." Harry was trying to be nice, jokingly, but he chose the wrong words, not even him laughing could save this.

"No. Liam can do everything." I really loved this boy.

"Well… I… you're probably right." There was no purpose in arguing, they had reached the kitchen now and Niall came over to me, ignoring Harry's answer to wrap his arms around my waist for a bit even if I couldn't hug him back right now because there was a chance I would actually poison us all if I didn't pay attention.

"Of course he's right, Harry. He always is. Besides, when did you decide that using your phone would be unnecessary?" I wasn't mad at him for just showing up, I could just imagine him being pissed off in case we wouldn't have been here to open up, I preferred knowing if someone came over, blame me.

"I texted you, Liam. Three times." Oh.

"Well… but I didn't write back. We could've been out." Or not, since I felt like passing out every time I sat down somewhere.

"Well, you aren't so. You made too much of this anyway." I hadn't expected anything else from him than invite himself, he smirked as I turned around to roll my eyes at him, patting Niall's head before he let go again so I could move.

"Listen up, two minutes ago you were scared that this might be unediable, now you want some?" Niall luckily went to sit down on the table with Harry, not next to him and I could guess why.

"Well, I think it's worth the risk if Niall's putting so much trust in you. And I haven't eaten since I got up, I might as well try a bite of your cat-"

"No!" This nearly made me pour hot water over myself, wow, Niall could yell REALLY loudly.

"Sorry, sorry, I was just joking, Ni. I'm saying all the wrong things today, huh?" Not only today.

"It's not funny, Harry!" While they were arguing, I hoped to make our food look somewhat nice while putting it on a plate, there were apparently a lot of things you could do wrong and I was only getting aware of this now that I wasn't only cooking for myself like usually.

"I'm sorry. Look, will it make you feel better if I tell you that Louis told me to tell you hi?" Why would that make anyone feel better, we weren't all drooling over Louis. That's what I should've said, instead I kept quiet, sitting down as well, next to Niall because he grinned really widely at me, clearing telling me what he wanted after I had brought everyone their plates over, and some coke, for Niall as well because this was kinda our thing.

"But Liam said that Louis is visiting his grandma." The funny thing was, he wasn't accusing ME of lying, but Harry.

"Well yeah but… but he kinda umm… slept over at my house so I saw him in the morning." Harry blushed, no idea why exactly, it's not like they had done anything, right?

"Ooh, like a sleepover?" Luckily Niall's thoughts were all innocent, he was really bad at eating spaghetti, it made me grin down at him, deciding to wait before helping to clean his face up, it'd get dirty again in less than half a second. "I slept over at Liam's house as well."

"Did you…" This was kinda weird, Harry looked at me, obviously wanting to know what was going on, I tried to make him understand not to ask any more, shaking my head slowly, but it was too late. "How did that come?"

"Well…my mum and my dad said that…that they got divorced… and that dad and Zayn would move away and I'm allowed to stay with Liam for the rest of the week." He saw it as a treat. I got it now, he didn't think it was to keep him from the fighting or seeing his dad pack up all the stuff. He WANTED to be here.

"That's… really sad, Ni." Harry regretted asking immediately, he was still confused of course, he didn't know about the police and all but I was just fucking relieved that he hadn't made Niall cry. "I'm sorry. You know, if you're ever really sad about it then you have to go tell Liam because he knows what it's like, his parents are divorced too."

"What?" Oh god, why did Harry have to start with this, I had told Louis and him, we had never talked about it again because I didn't enjoy it at all, but it was too late now because Niall had heard of course.

"Yeah… he's right, Ni. So… you're not alone. Come here, let me clean this up." I think my tries to get away from this topic were really obvious, Harry coughed a little, awkwardly, but I didn't look at him, I just took my napkin, holding Niall's chin gently to clean his face up from the sauce, his eyes never left my face and he also didn't even complain like usually.

"Don't be sad, Li." I wasn't sad about what he thought in particular, but it kinda made me sad how he was seriously WORRIED about me.

"I'm not, babe, it's fine." God, why did Harry have to bring this up, I wasn't running around telling everybody to go ask Harry in case they were gay because he knew what it's like.

For a while, it was really quiet, besides us eating on slowly, I didn't feel like it anymore, also not after Harry mouthed a 'Sorry' to me, making me shrug, he looked guilty, I wasn't mad at him, I just didn't like this topic so I felt a little sick now, putting my fork down.

I think Harry was about to open his mouth, probably to say something to take my mind off, but Niall was faster, he climbed over into my lap, I steadied him automatically, only fully getting that he was just trying to cheer me up when he kissed my cheek sloppily, probably getting sauce on me, but I didn't care. "I don't like when you're sad, Li, it makes me sad too."

"Sorry. I'm all fine, I promise, you don't have to be sad. Don't you wanna eat a little more?" Not that I wanted him to move out of my lap again, I actually wrapped my arms around him, calming down immediately, my heart felt as if it was melting from how concerned he seemed to be, this was cute as hell.

"No…" Then he snuggled further into me putting his head on my shoulder as if to say that he did not plan on going anywhere. "Liam?"

"Hm?" I was very well aware of the fact that we weren't alone, but it didn't bother me really, it was Harry's fault anyway for even talking about such risky things, so it was fair that we left him out.

"Love you." This time I managed to smile for real, just because, I knew he wanted to cheer me up, so I decided to pull myself together, for him.

"Love you too, Ni. Come on now, you gotta eat a little more, okay?" It was true that he ate very little, I wasn't the only one worried about this, his mum was too, so I gave him my own fork and spoon, he could eat what was left on my plate, so he wouldn't have to get into his own chair again. Mostly because I didn't want him to.

"Alright… but not too much or I'm gonna explode." He was being so serious it made me laugh, at least he gave in though, eating slowly, but he did.

"Well, you can stop before that happens, I still need you." I pressed a kiss on the back of his head, almost forgetting that Harry was here as well if he hadn't decided to bring himself back in after that little… incident.

"This is disgustingly cute just so you know." Probably, but I didn't care, there were a lot of things I could've said now, but I just shrugged.

"Why disgusting?!" Niall seemed really offended, as long as kept on eating I wouldn't say anything though.

"Sorry, Niall. Maybe I should just shut my mouth now." A good idea considering that since he had been here he had managed to make Niall disagree with him four times.

"Well, see, that was a smart idea." As he glared at me playfully, I laughed, it was fine for me to have him over even if all he contributed to the conversation were rather weird comments, but I knew him so I guess I could excuse it, as long as Niall continued to stand on my side like this.

We still didn't have a bad day, Niall forgave Harry for being a complete fool, just because he always forgave everyone, they both helped me wash the dishes, even if Niall got himself completely wet and full of soap as well, but I found it really cute instead of annoying.

There was this game that Harry had on his phone, he let Niall play it, probably hoping he'd love him again if he did and it seemed to work. Since Harry didn't wanna go home because he told me that, I quote 'Would you mind if I stay a little longer I can't go home because my mum wanted to wash today and if she washed my bed clothes I would probably cry because Louis has slept in them'.

That's why it got so late that I told Niall to go put on his pajamas, he pouted for a second, but Harry promised he'd get to play on his phone again as soon as he came. Niall then half ran.

"Why does he have to go to bed so early, it's like, seven." As Harry and me were alone, I used the time to clean up my room a little, quickly realizing it was a lost case so I came back sitting on the bed, leaving some distance because Niall would request again that he could sit between us.

"He's a child, Haz. And actually, I'd love for someone to tell me to go change and lie down now as well." The night had been too short, I already saw myself falling asleep during classes tomorrow.

"Yeah… but, Liam… why's he actually here?" Right, I had expected those questions, it wasn't a secret so I sighed, playing with Niall's stuffed unicorn while talking.

"When his parents told him he obviously completely freaked out, they sent him to his room, getting a call from the police saying he had run away and they had found him. No one had noticed him gone, so me and my mum went there at ten last night and he wouldn't let anyone touch him besides me. We keep him here because he didn't, or still doesn't wanna go home. Besides his dad will move out this week and it's better for him to not be around for that." I didn't like reliving it, because I knew that it wasn't done here, it would probably affect his whole life but I didn't want it to, I wanted him to stay this bubbly and sweet kid.

"Jesus… I feel really bad now. Sorry for bringing this up earlier, I didn't know it had been so dramatic. Really. And also for… you know." Even if I didn't look over, I knew he meant it so I nodded.

"It's no big deal. He seems fine for now, that's all that matters to me." Hopefully it would stay this way.

"Yeah… you're amazing with him, Liam, really. He loves you so much it's insane. Good thing you're not going away after high school." This gave me a sting, Harry chuckled, probably thinking that I didn't wanna talk about this when in reality I was worried about him. And Louis.

Before we got to say more, Niall came back, he dumped his clothes from before on my couch, immediately coming over again. "Can I play now, Harry?"

"Yeah, sure, buddy, come up here. Nice pajamas." He laughed, I knew what he meant, Niall really had some weird kids pajamas, they were all too big and too colorful, but it was damn cute as well.

As he crawled back into the space between us, just like I had expected, Harry unlocked his phone, he read over something really quickly, thinking I hadn't noticed but I guess it was a text message, before handing it to Niall.

"You're really good at this, you nearly beat my record." Probably because he had been playing it for two hours now, but I kept my mouth shut, smiling as I sorted Niall's messy hair out a little, he didn't even notice.

"I WILL beat it." His eyes were glued on the phone so I decided that he was busy enough to do what I was about to.

"So, Harry, I heard you'll fail history?" Louis had told me, pretty stressed out as well that his future boyfriend would maybe have to repeat the year and 'Oh my god, Liam, next year is our last year, what if I don't get to spend it with him?!'.

"Wait, how do you know?" Actually Harry was right with his shocked face, I knew way too much about him.

"Your boyfriend told me." We both looked at Niall after that comment, but he hadn't been listening so I smirked at Harry while he rolled his eyes, secretly enjoying it.

"Did he say something bad about me?" I laughed, because BAD was definitely far off.

"Just that he can't lose his Hazza baby and that he doesn't know what to do because he sucks at History as well. Probably because you two spend it with sneaking out of school." See what I mean, I could've written a novel on them.

"You sound like a stalker, Liam." Well, let's ignore that HE had been the one to tell me all those things without me even asking.

"Call me whatever you want but I happen to have the same history teacher." With that, I got up, making Niall look at me in confusion so I told him I'd be right back before going through my school stuff a little bit and coming back with the right book. "So, which chapters for your test?"

"You know about the test, too?! Damn it." Harry groaned, defeated, he probably was just as scared as Louis and I, well I was just trying to help.

It turned out that Harry had no idea about anything, so I tried my best, he didn't need an A, just a D minus and maybe Louis would be so happy that I had managed to do that he would agree that he owed me a favor and then he'd have to talk to Harry. What a perfect plan that would never work.

Since I had the book in my lap, Niall looked at me for a second after about half an hour, thinking before deciding that there was no space, so he simply climbed into Harry's lap, making him freeze for a second. Niall had sat on both his and Louis' lap before, but maybe only once, it was just that when Niall got tired, he needed to cuddle and since I wasn't available he chose Harry. "Umm… you, okay?"

Niall yawed, nodding before going back to playing the game, causing me to chuckle, Harry's face was really confused, but he hesitantly tried to relax. "It's fine, Harry."

"Yeah, I… okay, let's get back to this." He hesitantly put his arm around Niall loosely, causing him to cuddle closer, it was really a cute sight, I wondered if we looked like that as well when Niall sat on my lap. There was the tiniest feeling of jealousy in the pit of my stomach but I ignored it, he would've chosen me first anyway.

We studied for a little longer, I knew I'd have to tell Niall that he had to go to bed at eight thirty so I was really glad when Harry whispered my name as I quickly read through a page, looking over to see Niall tightly asleep, the phone dropped on the bed.

"What do I do?" Harry seemed to panic for no reason at all, he was nearly talking inaudible, probably thinking that Niall's sleep was light.

So I put my history book on the bedside table before easily lifting Niall over in my own arms, standing up with him pressed to my chest, he moved a little, mumbling something, but that was nothing new. "Stand up, I'll put him to bed and we go downstairs."

That's exactly what we did, I had some problems with leaving Niall here, he had never slept in my room by himself, so I prayed that things would go alright, tugging him in way too often and kissing his hair before remembering that I needed to turn on  the lamp on my bedside table as well. He could sleep in complete darkness, but there was no need to risk scaring him even more than in case he woke up alone.

"He'll be fine. We're just downstairs." This didn't calm me, but I nodded, closing the door softly behind me. "I should go home soon anyway."

"Yeah… is your mum done with the washing yet?" I snickered, getting a playful push, Harry rolled his eyes while we went for the stairs.

"I hope so. I still got the shirt as well." Wow, this was really sad, Harry was serious about this and I knew so much more but I couldn't tell him.

"Maybe you would feel better if you just told him, you know." My mum had obviously gotten home sometime, I saw her jacket by the front door as we walked by to the living room, hopefully she wouldn't think of checking on us in my room and accidentally waking Niall.

"But if he liked me back, he would've talked to ME. So there's no need to, I don't wanna destroy anything or make it awkward." Could this get any more awkward though.

We sat in the kitchen, because I was thirsty and tired, all I wanted was to just spill everything to Harry and go to bed, maybe that's why I didn't watch my words too carefully. "Well, he wouldn't have talked to you necessarily…"

Usually I blocked whenever we came to deep into it, so harry listening up immediately. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing, I… talk to him, not me." It would be wrong, to tell him that his best friend since kindergarden was thinking of leaving him here and moving when they had planned to get a flat together.

"You know something. And you're not telling me. Why?" It didn't even sound mad, just desperate, which was worse, so I stared my glass down instead.

"Because this is between you and him. Would I be telling you since months that you need to talk to him if I knew that he simply didn't like you back?" I hadn't said 'if I knew that it would maybe not work out', this was completely different.

"Would you be honest with me?" The answer was no, I wasn't honest with him, because he had let me PROMISE that I would not straight out tell Louis anything he had said.

"Do you think I wanna be responsible for destroying your life? I've talked to Louis multiple times like you asked me to, I'm pretty positive that you two need a talk. And soon." Because I didn't wanna live with so many secrets anymore that weren't even mine.

This made Harry think, maybe I had said too much, but someone had to eventually do that right? None of these two was ever gonna man up, I didn't know what it was like but it still seemed a little ridiculous by now.

We sat in silence for a while, I nearly slept in, thankful that I had changed before so I wouldn't have to do it later. Later… which would hopefully be soon, there was literally nothing left I could tell Harry or Louis, I really felt like changing my tactics now and slapping them both in the head.

When I heard the stairs, we both thought it was my mum coming down, but the steps were somehow too light and also, too slow, so I was about to stand up and check, which wasn't necessary anymore when a crying Niall with hiccup was standing in the doorway. "L-Li? C-Can y-you … "

"Oh, baby, come here, I'm sorry, shsh." My tiredness was forgotten, because my heart just broke, I quickly pulled Niall into my arms picking him up with me when I stood up straight, catching Harry's eyes, he seemed to feel pretty bad now as well, getting up too. "I won't leave you alone anymore, we just wanted to make sure we wouldn't wake you back up."

"C-Come lay d-down n-now?" I had a feeling there would be no night this whole week that one of us would sleep by themselves, I rubbed Niall's back softly, kissing the top of his head, hoping he'd stop crying.

"Yes, of course. Anything you want, I'm not gonna go anymore, it's fine, Nialler." There had been too many times I had seen him crying, yet it was still making me feel so shitty I had nothing in the world to compare it to this.

"You should both go to sleep, I'll drive home now." Harry looked at me, he was still stuck with my words from earlier, I saw it in his face when he hugged me a little awkwardly because of Niall, kissing the side of his head as well. "You're with Liam, Niall, nothing can happen when he's there, right? I hope you sleep really well, I'll see you soon, yeah?"

Niall sniffed something that sounded like 'Okay', but he kept his face buried in between my neck and shoulder, so Harry sighed quietly, turning to me instead while we went for the door.

"Thanks, Liam. I'll think about it." Hopefully.

"You better." I joked, even if none of us felt like it now, Niall had still not calmed down completely and Harry seemed more than thoughtful. "Text me when you're home."

As soon as I had locked the door after him, I focused on Niall again immediately, rocking him in my arms a little. "What's wrong, baby? What woke you up?"

"I-I don't know… you w-weren't t-there.." His hand fisted into the back of my shirt, hugging me even tighter than before.

"Hey, but I'm here now, right? We'll go to sleep now and I promise you I'll wait for you to fall asleep, okay? And you can wake me any time you need me and for the rest of the time you're here I'll always stay with you at night, alright?" This is what I would've thought would happen anyway, if there was any chance he got to cuddle with me, he'd take it. It made me sad like, what if this was because nobody at home ever cuddled him, if I was the only one to actually care this much.

"P-Promise?" We had reached my room, so I closed the door softly, sitting down with him in my lap and pulling the blanket up a little while keeping one arm around him.

"Yes, promise. Look at me?" I begged, but he obeyed, trying to wipe his cheeks a little before I replaced his hands with my own, kissing the tip of his nose. "No crying anymore, I'm taking care of you, remember? Shh, I'm here."

Niall nodded, still sniffing so I reached for a tissue, drying his cheeks softly and letting him blow his nose, but he still didn't wanna move out of my lap, suddenly looking down. "Li?"

"Yes, babe?" He was probably really, really tired and over emotional right now, I really hoped it didn't have any other reasons.

"Can I… Can I c-call my mum?" Or maybe I was wrong. This had been bound to happen sometime, I was glad actually he needed to speak to her again, so she'd know he wasn't mad anymore, it didn't mean he wanted home, right?

"Of course, Ni, look, here's my phone. Should I speak to her first or do you want to?" Maybe I should've explained this first, but Niall reached out for my phone, one cheek pressed against my chest as he waited until she would pick up.

I made sure that he was comfortable meanwhile, pulling the blanket higher, brushing some hair out of his forehead, holding his free hand as he grabbed mine, squeezing tighter all of a sudden. "No, mum, it's me… yeah….no, I'm with Liam… I'm s-sorry I yelled and sorry I ran away and I still love you, I'm sorry…"

This made me tear up, I quickly pressed my eyes shut since he couldn't see me anyway, but Niall simply apologized for everything, always and to everyone even if it hadn't been his fault at all, I don't know, it seemed wrong.

"No, I'm good, Li lets me sleep in his bed and Harry came over today… yes… noo…are you mad at me? Is Zayn mad at me? … and dad?… okay…" While talking, he pressed tightly into me, squishing my hand in his, I hoped this conversation wouldn't drag him down even more or worse, make him home sick, but from what I've heard it didn't seem like it right now. "…do you still love me?"

I really wanted to smash the phone against the wall, I hated how he always thought that none of his family liked him, he had once asked me the exact same question, after he had accidentally spilled his drink on me. It just made me furious because what made him think people would just stop loving him.

"…okay….really?…yes… okay, I love you too, mum… can I call you again tomorrow?… okay… goodnight, mum." He hung up then, I waited as he put my phone on my bedside table, not saying a word until Niall took a shaky breath before relaxing. "Mum said I should tell you thank you from her."

"She's welcome, whatever she wants to thank me for, it's no big deal." I couldn't help myself but hug him really tightly then, pressing my face into his hair. "Niall, your mum would never stop loving you."

"I just wanted to make sure…" Niall mumbled against my neck, not minding the hug at all, he literally melted into me.

"It's fine, Ni, I just wanted to tell you that. Are you okay with going to bed now? It's late, no time for little Niallers to be awake." I laughed quietly, feeling better now because the call had somehow helped, he leaned back, smiling at me a little before pretending to pout.

"'m not little…" But he kissed my cheek anyway, so I kissed his in return as well before he got out of my lap, waiting for me to lie down properly so he could snuggle down into my side like he always did. "Thank you for staying here with me, Li."

"I would never leave you alone when you need me, baby, you know that. Close your eyes, okay? I love you a lot." This made him sigh, but happily, he was really relaxed now, which was good, I rubbed his shoulder gently, putting my alarm to 7 am because none of us had packed anything for school tomorrow, reaching over to turn the light off.

"I love you a lot too." Really, that's all I needed to hear.

——---

A week could go by fast, I realized that after bringing Niall back home on the following saturday. The thing was that while he had been with me, he had not once cried for the sake of being home sick, but he did cry that day because he had gotten so used to me, which was also why I HAD to stay for dinner. I also really wanted to because I had loved having Niall stay with me and my mum. Sometimes I brought him to class, we went to go eat pizza with Louis and Harry (who still hadn't talked with each other), watched a few movies, played tons of video games, everything Niall wanted. Which was fine for me as well because I loved seeing him happy and all giggly, he brightened up my days incredibly.

Niall got to say bye to his dad, I don't know, it didn't seem to get to him as much as Zayn staying here for the whole winter break, that got him pretty excited. He didn't know yet that we'd see each other again on monday, because of Christmas, nobody had told him yet, it was sort of a surprise I suppose. But I was dying to tell him, really, because he actually started bawling when I decided that staying at someone's house until ten at night was maybe a bit long.

"Ni, I really have to go now." He nodded, its been about the fifth time I had said it, only this time I got up for real.

Niall followed me to the door, watching while I put my shoes on, for now he looked okay, I felt pretty depressed myself, but Maura smiled at me from behind Niall so I tried to pull myself together. She had thanked me about one billion times already, she must be really grateful.

"Alright…" I didn't have to continue, because Niall came towards me, hugging me really tightly, but I picked him up anyway so he wrapped his legs around my waist, pressing his face in my shirt like he always did. "I really liked having you with me, Nialler, I'm gonna miss you a lot. But we'll hang out lots during the break, right?"

We wouldn't be hanging out a lot, since I'd be gone for about a week, but there was still time and he didn't need to hear that now, besides, we'd be spending Christmas together, so that was something. "I'll miss you too…"

His voice was quiet, I think I had heard him sniffing as well, but none of us pulled away, we just hugged for a while, not talking, I closed my eyes, trying to understand how we had managed to grow so close in such a short time, how I could love some child so much I'd do anything for him.

When I put Niall down, his face was wet with tears, it shocked me a little, so I leaned down, trying to wipe them away before kissing his forehead. "Don't cry, it's not so bad, I'll see you soon. Promise?"

Niall just nodded, sniffing a little, he tried to return my smile a little, I appreciated the afford, really, also that he didn't cling to me and begged me to stay like he had done before, it would've made this a lot worse. I knew it only hurt now because it was just happening, it'd get better again in a few days. I'd just miss something as soon as I'd get home, this had been the downside, that we had gotten too used to each other, too attached.

Since I didn't wanna start crying again because it would've made Niall feel even worse, I said bye to his mother then, not being able to resist and kiss his forehead once more before really leaving or I could just move in with them as well.

I spent the following day trying to contact both Louis and Harry, but no one answered, I decided to see it as a good sign that neither of them seemed to have time, it was Christmas tomorrow after all, maybe they had stumbled under a mistletoe or something.

Also, I wrapped up Niall's present, I had gotten it before driving back home last night, I was pretty sure he'd love me for it, I didn't mind spending my money on him, I had actually used part of what my grandparents had sent me, but that was completely fine. Somehow I had felt bad for not having a present for Louis, Harry and also Zayn, but I had absolutely no idea what any of them would want so I crossed my fingers hoping none of them would actually care.

On monday morning, actually noon because I overslept, I was really excited, not because of Christmas, I didn't care a lot about that, I just wanted to give Niall my present and see his face, also I liked to believe that me coming over would make him happy as well.

There still were no news from Harry and Louis, I wondered if something had happened, maybe Harry had found out how I had been running to Louis and spilling all of his secrets and maybe they hated me now both, which should've upset me more than it did right now, I just couldn't help it.

"It's actually funny how much you like Niall now when you and Zayn used to be best friends." My mum threw in while we were in the car, I had almost not heard her, but she must've thought about how I had gotten Niall a present.

"Yeah, well… Zayn and me kinda changed a lot, I don't know." Well, I did know, we had never been as good as everyone thought we had been.

"I'm a little worried though, when Niall's gonna grow up, he's gonna live his own life and not be so fixed on you anymore." What a great topic.

"Well, I'm gonna be older then as well, I just wanna make sure he's okay for now, that's all." I hated how she was about to bring my mood down, but I didn't wanna fight now, she was probably just really worried.

There was no response, I hoped that nobody would ever bring this up ever again and focused on how it was snowing a little bit outside, it was getting dark now so I couldn't really tell. All I really thought of was how Niall was probably getting whiny because he wasn't allowed to open his presents yet, that nearly made me smile.

When we got there, I tried hard not to open the door while my mum was still parking the car, I tried really hard to keep myself together.

It didn't really work, I couldn't wipe that damn smile off my face when we I rang the doorbell, my mum shook her head at me slowly, but she smirked a little so it was fine.

From the inside I could hear someone yelling something, until that someone came closer to the door and I understood the words all of a sudden. "…and I don't even believe in Santa Clause anymore, Zayn!"

"You don't?" I asked, trying not laugh when Niall's face fell at seeing us, well he was actually only looking at me to be completely exact here.

"Liam!" There was a grin spreading really quickly once he had taken it in, he was only in socks but he came out anyway, not having to wait for me to pick him up immediately. "Are you gonna stay here? Are you gonna celebrate Christmas with us?"

My mum laughed at his voice, he hardly brought the words out that's how fast he talked while looking at me. "Yeah, it was a surprise,"

"Really?! That's so cool, this is the best Christmas ever!" Maybe he shouldn't have said that, but he was just so happy it couldn't dull my mood, I gave him a kiss on his cheek before realizing he was probably cold, so I carried him through the open door, my mum had already gone inside.

"Did you unpack your presents yet?" Judging by how he rolled his eyes after that, he had not. I couldn't laughing as I out him down to take my shoes and jacket off.

"No, Mum said we have to wait until it's seven but it's really unfair because Zayn always knows what he gets and I don't." While talking he had grabbed my hand, pulling me along to the living room. "You have to see our Christmas tree, I helped putting it up, look."

Zayn was actually lying on the couch and texting, he looked at me for a second as I walked in, lifting his hand lazily before going back to his prior activity while my mum and Maura were talking in the kitchen. The tree looked a little messy, I supposed that's what Niall meant with helping, but he was really excited. "It looks really nice, Ni, if I would've known you were so good at this then I would've let you decorate ours as well."

"But it was really exhausting as well and…" He suddenly pulled me down a little, lowering his voice. "I broke three ornaments, but don't tell mum, she thinks they fell off by themselves."

"I'm not gonna say a word, no worries." I had to hold back laughter, he was being so serious about this, it was really cute. "So, are you hoping to get something special?"

"Hmm…" Niall thought a bit about it, letting of my hand to sit on down on a chair, leaving one besides him that I took. "Yes, remember this game I told you about? But I checked all my presents and none has the right shape."

"Well, I wouldn't give up hoping if I were you." Right, I was brilliant at buying presents.

"Zayn said that if I complained Santa would eat all the chocolate that I got, but I don't believe in Santa anymore and it's really Zayn who's stealing my sweets when I'm asleep." Why the hell could I imagine that?

"That's a lie, you always eat everything on the first day and then you blame me." His brother threw in from behind, but Niall ignored him, poking my arm to get my attention back because I had turned around to look at Zayn for a second.

"I got a present for you too and now I don't have to wait until I can give it to you, that's so great!" Wait, HE had a present for me?

"You don't have to give me anything, Ni." Niall was still smiling, nothing would be able to get him down now.

"But I made it in school, I tried really hard." I didn't care what it was but this was so sweet, that he'd give it to ME. "Oh, and also, my mum and me made Christmas cookies yesterday, you have to try some, wait here."

He was up on his feet on his way to the kitchen before I could even say a word, I didn't follow, I was just really glad to be here, even if Zayn looked over at me, probably confused by my happy face but how could I not be?

When Niall came back he seemed a little upset, just sighing slightly after I asked and giving me a plate full of cookies that didn't seem like someone had out a lot of thoughts into the shape. "You can eat them, but mum said I'm not allowed to because we just had dinner before. And she also said that if you would give me some anyway then I'm not allowed to stay up longer today."

This is what I had from non stop feeding him all the stuff he wasn't allowed to have, zero trust. "Oh. I'm sorry, Ni."

"That's okay, just eat them, I made these ones." Never would've guessed that. But Niall was excited so I smiled and did what he told me, he also requested me to tell him how good I found them on a scale from 1 to 10 so he could improve his baking skills, that were his words, exactly. I told him 11.

After Niall had basically updated me with every single thing that had happened the few hours we had been apart, he started to beg his mum in between to let him open his presents already, we were all in the living room now, Zayn hadn't gotten up though and Niall was halftime on my lap and going over to his mum to try out if maybe his puppy face would work this time.

"Fine, Niall, we can go open them up, before you start crying." She laughed but he pouted a little, still going over to the tree though.

"I'm not even crying, I'm not a baby." I held back a chuckle while watching him, there was really no one else who had anything to unpack, I had given my mum her present at home already and all me and Zayn got was money anyway.

So yeah, besides my mum and Maura exchanging some presents, I came to sit on the floor next to Niall when he asked me to, too excited to hold back much longer and just tearing the wrapping paper carelessly.

There was not one thing that he didn't get overly jumpy and happy over, I had left the one I had bought in the pocket of my jacket, I'd give it to him later, when he was done with the ones from his parents. He didn't get too much, but he didn't seem bothered about it, just pumped for anything, really.

"Look, Li, are you gonna watch this with me sometime?! And see, I got socks they're toy story!" This was so cute, I don't think I'd ever meet someone this excited over Christmas as Niall. He jumped up after he was done, leaving all his presents with me, even if I had thought he had two left but when he half jumped over to Zayn, I suddenly knew why they were so badly wrapped, because Niall had done it. "Zayn, look."

"What?" Zayn seemed surprised to see his brother standing in front of the couch all of a sudden, but Niall didn't leave him a lot of time to realize what was going on, he pretty much shoved the present at him, smiling so big his dimples were showing.

"Here, I made it." And he seemed so proud of himself too, it was melting my heart, how could Zayn be so calm.

"Oh. Thanks, Ni." This was about as good as it would get, Niall probably knew, his happiness wasn't dulled by it though because he walked over to his mum, giving her the second present.

"Thank you, mum, for all the stuff." He hugged her quickly, obviously wanting to go again but she held him close for a second, maybe she was tearing up I didn't know.

"Anything for you, Ni. We love you very much, okay? And thank you so much for this, baby." She let go then, I was about to check what Zayn had gotten since he had been busy trying to unwrap it carefully, but Niall popping up in front of me again made me change my mind.

"Liii, are you coming upstairs with me? I got your present there." Actually he was already starting to collect all of his stuff, some things dropping again because he couldn't carry all of it by himself, I quickly got up.

"Yeah, sure, I'll help you, give me something, you're carrying way too much." I would've also offered to carry everything but it seemed that Niall wanted to do it himself, as we walked by Zayn, I threw a look at what he was holding, it was obviously a letter and something else, but I didn't wanna be too curious so I quickly followed Niall to the stairs instead.

"I still need to give you my present as well, Niall. We'll get it once we go back downstairs, okay?" Really, I couldn't wait for him to see, I was probably even more excited about this than what he would give me.

"Okay!" His room was actually cleaned up for once, well, until he told me to just drop everything to the floor while he went through his stuff, I tried to be careful though, sitting on the edge of his bed I waited because it seemed to take a little longer. "Sorry, I didn't wrap it because there was no wrapping paper left and mum said we could only get some more tomorrow." This seemed to be a problem for Niall, he climbed next to me on the bed, reaching out for my hand putting something inside. "This took me forever, and I don't even like this class so much. But I thought you would like it because you have so many wristbands already and they're really pretty."

It was a wristband, green, so that's why he had asked my favorite color, god, this was so cute. I didn't have as many wristbands as he said and they also weren't that pretty, but this one was, especially because it would remind me of him. Not that he would go away, but still, I loved it. "Hey, Ni, come here."

Without waiting for him to react, I wrapped my arms around him, maybe too tight. "Ugh, Li, you're squishing me!"

"Sorry, babe." But I just laughed anyone, maybe letting go a tiny little bit. "Thank you so much, you didn't have to."

"But I wanted to." It sounded really convinced, so I pulled away, keeping my hands on his shoulders, Niall was smiling, I think he was happy that I liked it.

"Help me to tie it?" This would turn out to be difficult with only one hand, Niall agreed but he was not very good at it either so I ended up using my teeth, at least I hadn't broken it or something. "Okay, come on now, you still have to see what I got for you, come on up."

Actually I didn't wait, I was in the best mood now, just picking Niall up, like a baby this time and he giggled, winding in my arms as I carried him out of his door. "Put me down, Li!"

Instead of doing so, I tickled him, causing a lot louder laughter erupting from his mouth, but he started to kick his feet as well, I was forced to put him down or otherwise he might have fallen. "I put a lot of thoughts into this, if you don't like it you have to at least pretend, okay?"

"Oh, but I'm sure I will like it!" Me too, aside from the fact that he liked everything pretty much.

He was really hyper, no idea what from exactly, but I also didn't bother asking, I actually enjoyed it because he was really affectionate now, clinging to my arm while we walked downstairs, was it weird that I was used to this now. "Alright, one second."

The present was not wrapped much nicer than the ones he had given to his mum and Zayn, I guess I should've asked someone for help, but then again, Niall hardly let me wish him Merry Christmas before he had already torn it open, his smile fading.

A few days ago, he had told me about this game one of his classmates had, and that it was really unfair because his mum never got him games for his DS for Christmas, so yeah.

"You like it, right? Why are you so quiet, Ni?" I chuckled, knowing that his face was not showing disappointment at all.

And I turned out to be right, Niall threw his arms around me. "Thank you, thank you so much, you're the best, Li, I love you. But wasn't it too expensive?!"

"No, it wasn't, don't worry about it, babe, I'm just glad you like it." This time, he was jumping up and down for real after pulling away, I think he couldn't actually believe it, but he was smiling nevertheless.

"I don't LIKE it, I love it, thank you so much, Liam." Now that I thought about it, if this was the outcome, I needed to spend more money next time.

"You're very welcome, Ni." I ruffled his hair, chuckling because he was too caught up as to complain about it like he usually would.

Somehow it felt really good to see him getting the most excited about MY present, he ran off suddenly, to the living room, I followed slowly, still smiling because I could hear him very clearly. "Mum, look what Liam got me!"

I was still wondering what Zayn had gotten, he looked a little, I don't know, absent as I walked past, not sparing a look for me, but everyone else did, surprised looks as well. "Wow, Liam, you didn't have to."

"Why not?" By now everyone should've understood that I loved Niall to death, at least I had thought so, he had still not calmed down over this, not even close.

My mum didn't say anything, she just shook her head at me, but there was a smile on her lips, I was glad because I couldn't need any more talks than we had had before in the car.

"I'm allowed to play, right? It's Christmas." Niall cut his mum off as she was about to respond, I don't think anyone could blame him right now, she nodded anyway, so we had Niall letting out some kinda yelp of happiness before disappearing again, I assumed to get his DS.

"Well, at least you didn't give him any sweets." Maura winked at me, but she laughed, I wasn't giving him THAT much, this was really exaggerated. "No worries, Liam, it's fine. Thanks for spoiling him so much."

"No problem." Actually, it was really hard not to.

I thought for a second, realizing that I didn't want to sit with my mum and Niall's, so I walked over to the couch where Zayn was still staring off into space, dropping down next to him, with distance, of course.

He stayed quiet for a while as our mum's kept on talking about something that I probably didn't wanna know, I hadn't expected Zayn to speak up as well, so I flinched a little as he did, even if he was being quiet. "What did Niall give you?"

Instead of answering I pointed to the wristband, hoping that he had gotten something he liked as well, it would feel awkward to receive nicer gifts from his brother than he had. "You?"

There was a short laugh, it didn't sound happy at all though, which got me worried, but Zayn handed the letter over to me, it wasn't much on there to read through, but it made me gulp.



Please don't forget about me when you leave, sorry that I'm annoying sometimes but I love you



Niall had tried really hard, he hadn't even made spelling mistakes like usually in every single one of his homeworks, and he had drawn on the letter as well, I could tell how much he had tried, he usually wasn't someone to really care about if it looked nice or not.

Before I could open my mouth, Zayn put something else in my hands, making my stomach turn even more, I didn't get it at first, but Zayn explained it to me, almost whispering. "It's his, mum and dad gave it to him because he had to stay with our grandparents because they were on holiday, he was really little so he was scared. There used to be pictures of mum and dad inside." Now I understood his quietness, after this letter as well but Niall had given him one of those necklaces where you can put small photos inside, and he had obviously cut up the family album because this picture of him and Zayn had been taken a long time ago, I assume because they hadn't taken a picture together in a while. They looked happy though, and cute because Niall had probably only been like four your old. "He gives me a photo, he thinks I'm gonna forget about him. I really messed up, didn't I?"

"No. He loves you, you got it black on white." I handed the items back, trying not think about how tight my throat was, I didn't wanna be Zayn right now.

He was just shaking his head, as if he didn't understand, but he couldn't reply because Niall was coming back, plopping himself right into my lap and probably making everything worse. I would've told him to sit with Zayn but I didn't want to hurt him or make him think I rejected him. "Can you help me when I get stuck, Li?"

"I'll try my best." The truth was that I wasn't really good at video games either, but Niall sprawled himself out on my lap, half lying down, trusting me to not let him slip, I kisses his forehead slightly as he cuddled into me, just as caught up with his DS now than he had always was with this damn game on Harry's phone.

None of us talked for a bit, our mums did but they completely ignored us so they didn't notice the tension, actually there was none however I felt bad for putting my arms around Niall now when Zayn was right next to me deep in thoughts, we didn't look at each other though, I wouldn't have wanted to.

So Niall played for a while, occasionally being proud of himself for finishing a level or sighing when he was bad, I just watched, sometimes helping a little even though it was mostly to make Niall laugh because I was probably even worse than him.

"Boys, listen up for a second." This nearly made me flinch really badly, Niall sighed, but he pressed pause to look over at his mum, it made me smirk to see him this annoyed for being interrupted.

"Why?" Zayn wasn't in the best mood, obviously, I moved a little closer to the end of the couch.

"Alright, this is supposed to be a surprise, Zayn, please don't look at me like you want to kill me." His mum scolded him, it made me really uncomfortable but he just sighed.

"I want to know." Niall's interest was definitely woken, it was so easy to distract him, I was really nervous for what was about to come, but I kept quiet, holding Niall tighter instead.

"Okay, so, we're going to London with Liam and his mum, and also Harry and his mum and his sister. And… Louis, that's his name right?" Oh thank god. Really. Oh god, I felt so lucky right now, I almost felt like Niall after unpacking all of those presents.

"Really?!" Niall was about to jump up, I believed him now when he had told me this was the best Christmas ever, because IT WAS.

"Really?" Zayn repeated his brother, he seemed very unsure, right, wow, this must suck so badly for him.

"Yeah. And Zayn since you're going to move after the break I thought you and Niall should maybe spend a little more time, you're sharing a hotel room, is that okay?" Well, it was okay for ME, but I had a feeling I wasn't the one the question had gotten directed to.

I felt myself tense up, if Niall complained then he'd hurt Zayn really badly, especially now, but the same the other way around, so I just waited, sharing a look with my mum but she shrugged almost invisibly, probably thinking I was gonna throw a fit now because I got the single room.

"Yeah, that's okay." Niall sounded happy, still, but I didn't dare relaxing just yet, I'd slap Zayn now if he said something wrong.

But he didn't surprisingly. Even thought thinking about it now, he had probably thought about his other options, deciding that this was still better than sharing with me or Harry and Louis, he hardly knew them anyway. "Alright."

"Zayn, you'll get to meet Harry and Louis, they're really funny and Louis has a guinea pig and Harry has really cool games on his phone but he tried throwing me into a zebra cage when we were at the zoo." For once, Zayn didn't look annoyed, Niall turned sideways in my lap to talk to him, still leaning against my chest though, not making any attempts to move.

"Yeah, well… I bet they're really nice." Then our eyes met and Zayn kinda looked nervous before he blushed a little. "Isn't he… umm… you know."

Which one, I should've asked that and see his face drop, instead I stayed serious, looking right at him because if this was supposed to turn into something mean I wasn't gonna take any of it. "Yeah, why?."

"Hey, woah, I was just asking, I don't actually care, okay?" Well, I knew that Louis and Harry had ignored me for days now but I still wouldn't let anyone insult them for being gay.

"It's fine." Actually, if he would even think of saying anything to either Louis or Harry, I was pretty sure they would know how to deal with it, they'd also just accept him if he was being completely normal, they did it with everyone, just like with me at the beginning of the school year.

"What's fine?" I was glad that Niall didn't get it, he seemed very confused, I didn't want to answer this really so I put my arms around his waist again, kissing his cheek to make him giggle.

"Why so curious, hm?" He wiggled around a little until I leaned back, snuggling his head against my shoulder then, luckily not asking any more.

"When are we going?" Niall had his feet up on the couch now, probably not even noticing how he put them into Zayn's lap, but I did and I was glad that nothing happened.

"In a few days. Are you happy?" I asked, because I truly cared, his face was not to be mistaken, but I liked hearing it.

"Yes! A lot." Good, that was the main thing to me, I could deal with everything else then, so I leaned my cheek against his head when he started playing on his DS again, relieved that Zayn had relaxed as well, he was on his phone again, not looking like attending a funeral any longer.

We stayed really long actually, Zayn left for his room, saying he had to call his girlfriend, but he went to hug Niall as his brother stretched his arms out towards him which made me really happy, I liked seeing them getting along better, Niall deserved it.

At about eleven or something, Niall fell asleep on my lap, I went ahead to save his game or he'd be really pissed in the morning before just staying like this, holding him close, appreciating the fact that I could to be here and that he was alright, sleeping peacefully while snuggling into me.

Well, at least I thought hat he was sleeping, I had just been stroking his cheek for a while, not even noticing it anymore when my mum suggested we should probably leave. "Okay, I'll carry Niall upstairs."

"I can do it as well if you want to." His mum offered, I wanted to tell her that I got it but there was no need to anymore.

"Noo. Liam." Niall sounded really tired, he also didn't open his eyes but rather wrapped his arms around my neck loosely, face nuzzled in my shirt, making it pretty clear that he wanted me to carry him.

"I think I got it…" I mumbled, trying not to talk too loudly, because despite the fact that Niall had obviously not been too deeply asleep, he should be.

"Alright, I'll wait for you down here." This would probably take me a little, I still nodded anyway, readjusting Niall in my arms to steady him more, it came automatically, I was used to this by now.

Niall didn't talk anymore while I walked upstairs slowly, he was breathing against my neck now, pretty even, I hated knowing I'd have to wake him up again for changing his clothes, but he wouldn't like sleeping in jeans, I knew what I was talking about.

I heard laughter from Zayn's room, he had been talking to his girlfriend for two hours now, I didn't know who she was but I was kinda glad that she managed to cheer him up, as much as me and Zayn didn't get along, I didn't like to see people suffer right next to me, especially not if they meant something to Niall.

When I reached his room, I had to make a big step over his Christmas presents on the floor before reaching his bed and putting him down carefully while I remained on the edge, watching him for a bit before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, which made him squirm, eyes flattering open slowly. "Should we change your clothes?"

"Mhmm…" He sat up, with a lot of my help, getting onto his feet which nearly made him fall so I made sure he was standing between my legs, he hardly managed to take his clothes off either, not even talking about getting dressed again but we did it somehow.

"Come on, you'll fall asleep on the floor, Ni." There was no complainant of any sort, he snuggled up under his blanket immediately, reaching out for my hand but his eyes were half closed, voice too slow.

"Thank you for the present and… I'm so happy you were here, Li… can't wait for…" I never heard the end, Niall slept in mid-sentence, looking like a baby.

"Goodnight, babe." For a little bit, I stayed there, watching him sleep, brushing over his hair slightly, I couldn't believe how fucking relieved I was and excited for the same thing that Niall had been trying to say before his tiredness had cut him off.

I felt truly happy, it seemed like despite everything things were starting look brighter finally.

------

"So…how've you been?" Well, this had been unexpected.

"Good. More interesting, how have you been?" Harry seemed kinda nervous, it was undoubtedly that something had happened, I had heard from neither him nor Louis since friday and it was thursday now, I wasn't hurt or anything, it was just… interesting.

"Good… ummm… how was Christmas?" We were waiting outside the restrooms at the airport, everyone else was seated somewhere but Niall was nervous since he had only been on a plane once so I had decided to take his mind off and walk around a little, Harry and Louis had come along, because Niall didn't notice how they could hardly look at me without blushing of course, it had been hilarious.

"Great, I got to spend it with Niall, so. Wait… are you shaking?" I nearly laughed at this, the distance he kept to me was ridiculous anyway but this was getting a little weird.

"I'm not…I'm… sorry that… I forgot to text back." Forgot. Actually I had stopped messaging him anyway, I had been busy the last few days so I hadn't really noticed anyway.

"That's fine, I was just a little worried." Harry still seemed a little guilty, but he relaxed I think, even if he didn't say anything else, but it was probably just because Louis and Niall came out of the restroom again, Niall having his mouth open like always, probably updating him on his life, it was quite funny too because Louis was trying so hard not to meet my eyes.

"…and I'm really happy because Liam said it's okay if I sit next to him on the plane and I missed you and Harry and what did you get for Christmas?" At the last question, Louis and Harry looked at each other so obviously there was no chance I could've missed it, I had my theories to this, I just hoped they would turn out right.

"Hey, Ni, let Louis breathe for a bit, okay?" He shrugged, coming over to me when I smiled and reaching out for my hand.

"There are too many people, I'm gonna get lost." I squeezed his hand because I knew very well how he got in crowds, and obviously it was even worse shortly before going onto a plane, I hoped he'd calm down until then.

"No, you're not. Just don't let go of my hand, okay?" It didn't feel like he would, he was nearly squishing it in both of his. "Are you still nervous?"

"A little bit." Niall lied, he leaned closer into me now, watching some people walking by.

"It's fine, Ni. Let's go get something to drink, alright?" Then I remembered Louis and Harry were still there as well, even if they were standing further away just so they wouldn't have to start a conversation with me. No idea what the big deal was, if they really hooked up then I was probably the last person to be surprised by this. "You guys gonna come too?"

"Wh- oh. Yeah. Sure." See what I mean, I'd like to think they'd told me if Niall hadn't been here as well but probably not, maybe they were embarrassed or something.

Walking through an airport with these three turned out to be more difficult than I had thought, Niall was constantly looking around and scared of getting too close to strangers while Louis tried to be funny and brighten the mood because Harry didn't even walk next to me, I didn't care honestly, I half heartedly forced myself to laugh at Louis' jokes, mostly focusing on calming down Niall.

"Hey, Ni, it's all good, okay? Here's your coke." I had Louis open it because Niall refused to let go of my hand, but at least he agreed to drinking something. "Look, we're not going to on the plane for a long time. And nothing can happen, I've been on planes for a few time."

"It is more likely to die in a car accident than have a plane crash." Oh god.

"What?!" Great, Harry had managed to get make Niall's eyes nearly pop out, if there had been any color left in his face, it was gone now.

"He has no idea what he's talking about, Ni, don't listen to him." Despite the fact that he was wrong, I glared at Harry, making him half hide behind Louis and look down immediately. "It can't even crash."

"Why?" No idea what I was even talking about, I just wanted Niall to not be scared anymore and for everyone else to shut their mouth for one second.

"Because I say so." Yeah, that is what you call good reasoning, it's just, Niall believed mostly everything that I said.

"What a good argument…" Harry mumbled somewhere from behind Louis, he was obviously pissed because I had snapped at him, but who was telling kids that driving in a car was dangerous when they had to do it every single day.

"I'd like to hear your argument for not texting back six days." This probably came out as if I was pouting because of it, which was not true at all, I didn't even want to heard a response, just pulling Niall along before he would ask what we were talking about.

"Are you mad at Harry?" Of course he would ask anyway.

"No. I'm just… tired. Sorry." I wasn't tired at all, but I needed a reason so I quickly smiled down at Niall, kissing the top of his head so he'd stop worrying.

"I'm tired too…" Niall leaned his head against my arm, he sounded worriedly quiet and beaten down, probably sad as well, all of the things I hated.

"You should sleep on the plane, babe. It'll go by faster this way as well." Even if it only were like 45 minutes or so, I think even ten would be too long for Niall.

"No… I can't sleep. I couldn't sleep last night either because I was nervous and I didn't want to wake up Zayn or mum." I hated hearing bout this, every situation that I could've saved if I had been there was bugging me like this.

"Why not?" We had like, ten minutes left before boarding, so I was leading Niall back to where everyone else was, I didn't feel like sitting with them so I slowed down, partly also because Niall could hardly keep up since he didn't want to stop half ripping my arm off and snuggling against it.

"Because mum always bugs me about it for a week after and Zayn never lets me sleep in his bed." He rubbed his eye now, sleepily, not looking up at me. This reminded me of the one night I had slept over in Zayn's room and Niall had come in telling me Zayn hated to get woken up by him. "And I wanted you anyway."

"You know what, next time you can't sleep you just call me." I couldn't drive over at night obviously but we could talk, I hated knowing he'd have to stay up all by himself, besides hearing this was driving me insane, this was cute, yeah, but bloody nerve wrecking as well because I couldn't help.

"What if it's really late?" Right, I needed to stop muting my phone over night now.

"I don't care, just call me until I pick up, okay?" I hated being woken up by my phone but I'd be able to get over this, I had to.

"Okay. Thank you." I stopped him then, letting go of his hand which made him complain for a second but it quickly stopped when I picked him up instead, he looked like he'd trip or something, besides there really were a lot of people now, didn't want him to freak out more than necessary.

"No problem. Also counts for now, you know… " Just for the record, I was NOT trying to get him to share a room with me instead of Zayn. But I wouldn't have minded it. And he had said it himself, Zayn wasn't a big help in those situations, I was just being reasonable.

"Okay…" Now that I was carrying him he was just getting even more tired so I decided to let him be for a bit, hoping he'd sleep in somehow despite all those background noises.

He didn't. Also, he got a little upset about getting onto the plane, not that he'd make a scene or something, but he clearly didn't want to, making me carry him inside there as well even if his mum told him he could walk by himself because he was a big boy, that made everything worse. My methods probably weren't really correct since I always gave in to a sad face but nobody tried to tell me to change them because at least I was able to calm him down, as the only one I might add.

"Ni, don't be so upset, you got to sit next to the window, didn't you?" The problem was he wasn't upset but terrified which was even harder to handle.

Nobody should be surprised by Louis and Harry sitting somewhere far off in the plane next to each other, with Zayn, which was quite strange since I was actually between Niall and Gemma, who I caught turning around to look at her brother more than once, she was probably just as confused about him and Louis as me. Besides that, I had met her for the first time today and knew nothing about her, but she was being nice to Niall that was a plus point.

"And you're the only one who got gummy bears when walking in." She threw in, which surprised me a lot but Niall didn't even flinch, he didn't know her either but she didn't seem to be such a big problem as everyone else, maybe because he had seen her an Harry get along pretty well and he loved Harry.

"I'm not upset. I'm tired." Great, after me using this as excuse he was doing it too, it obviously was not the main problem here, but making everything a little worse. "And I don't like gummy bears, you can have them."

"I'd gladly accept that offer but Liam seems to be out for them as well." Maybe jokes would work, at least she tried.

"You do like them, Nialler, come on, at least stop staring out the window." Because that's what he had been doing, pretending that he couldn't see us or didn't feel my hand when I rubbed his back slightly.

When no reaction came back, I gave up with a sigh, continuing to play with his hair though, I knew he'd stop ignoring me as soon as the plane would move the tiniest inch, but for now he was being stubborn.

"Liam." I hadn't expected Gemma to talk to me at all, but I had somehow figured out how she had gotten here next to us, she was sick of Harry and Louis acting like love sick puppies. "You don't happen to know where the hell my brother has been for the past few days, do you?"

"Wait, you don't know either?" Well, now we got it confirmed.

"I'm having assumptions." She mumbled, turning around once again, but only for a second because the plane started moving and I forgot to answer because Niall immediately let out tiny yelp before burying his face in my chest, fingers twisted into my shirt.

"Hey, it's okay, it's all good, I promise. We'll be there in no time, you won't even notice that we're flying." Since I got no answer, I sighed, putting my arm around him as well, keeping him close. "Nothing can happen when I'm here, remember?"

"Yeah." Niall croaked into my shirt, it didn't sound very convinced, not at all actually, but it was still better than getting nothing but silence and a shaking little boy in my arms that I was unable to calm down.

"Just be glad there won't be any storms or he'd be worse…" Well, yeah, Gemma was right, that would've probably made Niall freak the fuck out but we still had to go back in a few days as well, I'd have to make sure he'd be asleep for this one.

I let Niall snuggle up to me for a while without saying something, I was glad that he didn't cry or get really loud, but maybe his silent way of suffering was even worse, I don't know, all I knew was that it hurt me to feel him shaking this much. There was nothing I could've done so I hugged him and whispered things to him that I thought were nice to hear even if they probably were just my very desperate attempts to help.

It got a little better after the start, even if Niall remained like this, refusing to sit up just a little bit. "If you get sick you gotta tell me, okay?"

"I'm not…" This sounded just really sleepy, he sniffed a bit, rubbing his eye with his knuckles, yawning quietly at the same time.

"Try and sleep, Ni, you're so tired. I'll wake you when we're there." Actually, I wanted to sleep as well, nobody talking was getting me pretty sleepy like, I could hear other people talking but they were further away, Gemma had her eyes closed, listening to music and Niall was all snuggly and warm now, yawning constantly.

"But don't go away." Luckily I didn't think i'd have to use the toilet so I could easily promise him, continuing to rub his cheek with my thumb, looking out of the window for a while before deciding it would be a good idea to close my eyes as well.

In the end, all the three of us slept in, which was kinda stupid considering that we'd have to do walking today and that it only was for forty minutes or so, it was actually Harry who woke us, well, his sister, but I heard him. "Guys, come on, we don't wanna be last."

"Why don't you and Louis go ahead and pass the time a little?" This was great, she could say all the stuff that I was just thinking.

"Are we there yet?" Niall rubbed his eyes, sitting up, pretty confused, there were prints of my shirt on his cheek and his hair was messy as heel so of course I pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Yeah. See, wasn't that bad at all, right? And you got to take a nap as well." He nodded, smiling slightly when I pressed a light kiss to his forehead, brushing the hair out of his face.

While we got our stuff, Harry just remained next to us, he was obviously pouting over what Gemma had said but somehow it still didn't make him leave, he just ignored her prior question. "Why didn't you switch seats with Zayn?"

"Are you seriously mad because of that?" Now that I thought about it, where were Louis and Zayn? There were a few people still on the plane, we'd probably be the last but no one else we knew was still there, not even our mums.

"Not because of you, but Louis just took off with Zayn, Zayn' pretty cool I guess but…" Oh.

"He still likes you more, Haz, there's probably a good explanation for that." I threw in, silently praying that I was right while keeping my hand on Niall's shoulder as he walked towards the exit in front of me, so I'd be ready to catch him in case he tripped or something.

"Maybe I don't wanna hear an explanation…" He mumbled from behind, I looked back to meet Gemma's eyes, she nodded at me, we were both thinking the same, her assumptions were perfectly correct.

Since I didn't know what to say, I stayed quiet, cursing Louis in my mind, I was glad that Zayn got along with him because then I wouldn't have to feel obliged to pretend that we were really good friends but it was still pretty annoying now. At least Harry talked to me again, but only because he was pissed off.

It was really cold outside and Niall had trouble with the stairs, I just carried him without even spending a thought on it, in all honestly I couldn't have cared less if someone told me again to stop babying him because I definitely would not do it.

Behind us, Gemma tried to get Harry to talk to her, but all he did was shrug and say that he understood why Louis would like Zayn better than him anyway, dramatizing the whole thing, it was pretty unrealistic for Louis to become so fond of someone in a time period of 45 minutes.

Still, their stupid little games were getting onto my nerves, so I made sure to reach Louis as the first, he was standing next to my mum, waiting for our luggage to come out, Zayn was off on his phone somewhere, they probably hadn't even walked out together after all.

I grabbed Louis' arm quickly, glad that Niall was holding on so tightly because I had only one arm free to hold him now. "You better fix this Lou."

"What?" When he seemed confused, I nodded into Harry's direction, he had made sure to stand the farthest away as possible, throwing glances at us even if he pretended that he had been staring at something behind us as soon as we noticed. "I didn't do anything, I had to use the toilet pretty badly, why's he mad at me?!"

"Because of Zayn." This was getting ridiculous.

"It's not my fault that we had to pee at the same time." He sighed anyway, ruffling Niall's hair a little before turning to go over to his best friend.

"Did Harry tell Lou that he loves him?" Niall obviously got what was going on, I was just glad he kept his promise that he wouldn't say anything in front of them.

"I'm not so sure, Ni. You could ask him, when Louis isn't around." This was actually a great idea, Niall could be so sensitive and cute, it wasn't easy to reject him when he asked questions, and he'd for sure come and tell me afterwards. It's not that I was so desperate to know about their love life, it'd be easier to help if I at least knew what was going on, that was all.

"You want me to go spy for you?" Or maybe put it this way.

I looked at Niall, he seemed to like this idea, so I just nodded, smiling back. "Sort of."

"Okay." There was nothing he wouldn't do for me, was there. I'd never use it to my advantage, I mean, there was nothing bad about helping two people to realize they're perfect for each other.

It took us forever to get to the hotel, Louis and Harry made peace, Niall took around ten naps on me and Zayn stuck to me now because he probably realized that he had caused tension, even if I don't think that he could have cared less about getting Harry mad, Zayn was not the kind of person you could impress with drama.

"Li, can I come look at your room later?" Niall was probably the most excited about finding out that his and Zayn's room was nearly next to mine, I was glad too, I couldn't need him running around through the whole hotel. Also, I was relieved to find out Louis and Harry were ten doors away from me, the walls were pretty thick as well.

"Sure, babe. But help Zayn a little, okay? I'll see you in a second." Not that Zayn needed any help, but I don't know how he'd think about his brother only coming to their room for going to sleep later.

When Niall had disappeared inside, I walked over to my own room, I was kinda glad to be alone after all, everything else would've felt weird, the only one I'd be okay with sharing would be Niall and to be honest, I had a feeling he'd at least stay in my room for one night, maybe more. Zayn wasn't good at calming him down and Niall wasn't good at lasting without nightmares for this long.

I did exactly nothing besides lying down on my bed, hoping that I wouldn't sleep in since we wanted to look around a little in a bit, it wasn't that late, but I felt like dying because of my lack of sleep.

The knock on my door sounded a lot firmer than Niall could've ever managed, I still told whoever was there to come inside though. It was Harry.

"Are you coming to tell me that I have been right the whole time?" According to his face, that was not the reason, I sat up anyway, hoping that the room would stop spinning, I was that tired.

"No. I came to tell you we're all going out." Then he looked around in my room for a bit as I didn't get onto my feet immediately. "You could've shared a room with me and Louis as well, you know."

"I prefer getting up without slipping on used condoms, thanks." Of course it was a joke, but Harry blushed incredibly hard at this. "Come on, I was kidding."

"I-I know… we should get going." This was weird, he just walked right out. One second… did they hook up, AGAIN?!

I felt awkward thinking of stuff like this when Niall came running right up to me downstairs in the lobby, but I couldn't just get those thoughts to go away, normally Harry at least rolled his eyes at me or pretended to be mad at me, sometimes he even enjoyed those comments, not today, rather weird.

Nothing interesting happened that day, I thought about telling Niall to go talk to Harry for a little bit but he was sleepy and seemed too happy about holding my hand so I decided we should walk a few steps behind everyone, I liked when it was just us and when he was in a good mood and just talked nonstop.

-----

The next day, I had nearly forgotten about all of the problems there seemed to be within the group, mostly because I was simple satisfied with holding Niall's hand in mine, not paying much attention to what anyone else was doing.

"Zayn snores, Li." Ah, yes, good memories. Not.

"I'm sorry. Weren't you able to sleep?" Of course, he would've come over to my room if that had happened, I wouldn't have needed to ask.

"No, I slept in before him but this morning it was pretty annoying. I tried waking him but he told me to shut up." Great, you could blame it on him being asleep but then again, I wouldn't ever tell Niall that, not even if I'd be about to die.

"He didn't mean it, he was just really tired probably, don't think about it. Today is gonna be a good day, I promise." Well, Niall wasn't so keen on sightseeing from what I've heard, but we had been walking around for an hour now and so far he hadn't complained.

"Hey, Li, are you coming with us? We're gonna go around alone for a while." Louis interrupted my conversation with Niall, I can't say I had an idea what he was talking about, but obviously he referred to him, Harry and Gemma with 'we'. What about Zayn?

"Sure, ummm…. where's Zayn?" He seemed to be gone somehow, our mums were there but not Zayn.

"He went off to meet up with some friend of his, he lives here or something. Anyway, come on. I really don't wanna have to pose for any more photos." Harry lowered his voice at the last sentence, he was probably talking about how his mum made him and Gemma stand in front of every single building that looked remotely interesting.

"Yeah, alright…" Actually, I didn't care with whom I'd walk around, I just automatically assumed that Niall would come too, so I didn't bother asking first.

"Ni, you wanna walk with me for a while?" Maura stopped us, I wish she hadn't because Niall would throw a fit. "Maybe they wanna have a bit time for themselves…"

"No, but I wanna go with Liam, mum." See?

"It's really okay, I'm taking care of him, nothing's gonna happen." Sure, the situations as different seeing as we were in another city I didn't really know but I had gotten him to take care of for a week before, I should be able to manage it.

"No worries, Mrs. Horan, we won't do anything that Niall shouldn't see." I would slapped Louis for that cheeky comment, but then he also winked at Niall and I was speechless, because who would agree after that.

"Call me immediately if something happens?" Niall's mum, obviously.

"Of course, come on Niall, I'll let you taste some vodka when your mum's out of sight." Louis was joking, at least I hoped so, Niall seemed pretty thrilled by this anyway, not me and his mum though.

I threw a look at her before we turned to go, just shrugging, to show her that Louis was talking a lot of shit, she seemed worried, couldn't blame her for that, but at least Niall was happy, which was the main thing and I'd keep my word at least, if anyone really thought about giving him alcohol, it would be the last thing they'd do.

It wasn't a big surprised that Gemma ended up with me and Niall, while Louis and Harry were being disgustingly cute in front of us, they had decided we should go visit the London Dungeon and I had found no argument that would not make Niall yell at me that he wasn't a baby and that he wouldn't be scared.

"Harry is not telling me anything, it's really frustrating. I'm so close to finally get him to stop fangirling over Louis every single day. He sometimes calls me up when I'm in college." This was calming, I wasn't the only one who was bothered by this.

"Li, should I go talk to Harry?" Niall was slightly tugging on my arm, I remembered what we had talked about yesterday, it still seemed to be a good idea besides he seemed desperate to help.

"Yeah… but only when Louis is not around or distracted, okay?" Right now, it seemed like nothing could part them.

"You're sending Niall?" Gemma laughed at me, probably thinking it was pretty dumb, but no, Harry had the tendency to talk to Niall as if he was the same age, god damn it, he had told him he was thinking about Louis in the freaking shower!

"Unless you don't want this to finally stop, then yes." It probably wouldn't work, because nothing ever seemed to work, I'd give up after this, if they hadn't used Christmas they also wouldn't get over themselves on new year in three days. How many good changes did they want to let pass by?

Niall was lying to me about not being terrified to shit in the London Dungeon, I had to carry him after the first room, all he did was burying his face in my neck so he wouldn't have to see anything, but he could hear the actors so that was a problem, I tried to be comforting, whispering things in his ear and stroking his back, but all that helped in the end was when it was over.

"Aww, Ni, were you scared?" Harry didn't sound as if he was making fun of him at all, I had put Niall down now because he seemed to be better but I guess you could still see it in his face.

"No, I wasn't." Of course, he hadn't admitted it to me, he also wouldn't admit it to anyone else.

"Well, I was, you can be proud of yourself for going through." GOING was maybe the wrong term, everyone had seen me carrying a scared Nialler. "Come on, I'll show you something."

Niall looked at me quickly, but then he went with Harry, twisting their hands together, I had told him not to let mine go because of the amount of people, he seemed to understand he should do the same with Harry.

"Now, let's see if he can make him talk." Gemma was suddenly all for the 'Let's send the kid and see what happens', maybe she was desperate and had run out of ideas, i couldn't blame her.

"What are you two talking about?" Right, Louis was still there too, he watched Harry and Niall from the distance a little before coming over to us,  a little confused to see us sitting next to each other on a wall.

"Stuff." I replied, no idea how I should have explained this anyway.

"Harry is gonna kill both of you if there's something going on, I-"

"Shut up, Louis. I'm not killing you for crushing on my brother, do I." But why did everyone assume I was hooking up with everyone that I talked to, they had asked me the same thing with Zayn as well when in reality I had never had a relation in my life.

"You told her?!" Louis was freaking out for nothing at all, we both stared at him in shock for getting this loud all of a sudden, was he dumb?!

"No, but congratulations, you just spilled it yourself." As if it had been a secret in the first place.

"I… well, that's none of your business anyway. So, what are we gonna do after Haz and Ni come back?" He just changed topic, sitting down next to me, pretending nothing had happened and putting up a happy face. "I'm for eating."

"Yeah, we could do that… but where did they go anyway?" I felt pretty irresponsible for not knowing, like, it was somehow my duty to keep an eye on Niall, because I always did.

"No idea. But we've been to London before, I think Harry knows where he went." Wow, this was not calming at all after being the one to find out the right underground stations because nobody knew how to read a map.

Also, they were completely out of my sight, there were so many people, I would've gone looking for them but I'd get lost myself in the end, maybe Gemma was right, maybe Harry knew what he was doing. Or not.

"We should go-"

"Jesus, Liam, Harry is capable of handling a child." How would Louis know that though?

"But is he capable of finding back here? Maybe we should call him. Just to be sure." I was about to take my phone out, only to realize that my battery was empty. How unfortunate, I couldn't call Harry now, which wasn't the biggest problem, it was that I was the only one who had Niall's number. "Shit."

"If it's so important, then I will call him, god…" Well that would be a good fucking idea since we've been waiting for half an hour now, doing mindless smalltalk while I freaked out every five minutes because why the hell was no one worried?!

Both Louis and Gemma rolled their eyes at me, but Gemma took out her phone anyway, her face seemed pretty unimpressed as she waited for her brother to pick up while I felt like she should call an ambulance as well because I was about to have a heart attack. "Yes, Harry, where are you guys, Liam is pissing himself and… wait, what?!"

"I told you this would happen!" As soon as Gemma's face crumbled the tiniest bit, I jumped up, about to just go look for them myself, but Louis came after me, grabbing my arm.

"Wait. You don't know what he's telling her, we can't split up or in the end we will-"

"Oh, shut up, will you? Any of you could handle getting lost for a while, but Niall can't, he's scared of crowds, scared of strangers, hell, he's scared of everything and I can't even call him, Louis. I promised I'd take care of him, this shouldn't have happened, I shouldn't have let him go without me." Embarrassing enough, I was tearing up now, making Louis' face get a little softer, he was still holding me.

"Calm down, okay? Let's just listen to what Harry's gonna tell Gemma." About the most stupid idea I had ever heard, I didn't even want to think about what could happen in those minutes that we were wasting here, I would've called the police right away if my fucking phone would've still be working.

"Okay, bye." This didn't sound good at all, shit.

"What did he say?" Louis was nervous, I heard it in his voice, well, he SHOULD be, because we could've called them much sooner, but no, I was the one overreacting.

"He… he lost Niall." PERFECT.

"And he's telling us NOW?! He's such an-"

"Liam, stop. That's exactly why he didn't call us earlier and went looking for him himself first, because he knew you'd freak out and-"

"Yeah, well, I have every right to, finally let me go Louis, I have to find him." Oh god, WHY?! Niall couldn't handle this, out of every single person, he was the last one, he was probably crying and all by himself and waiting for me to come and get him like I always did, this was KILLING ME!

"Okay, yeah, but we'll meet up exactly here in thirty minutes, okay? Liam, seriously now, and here, take my phone as well." Finally, there was one smart thing to come out of Louis' mouth, I wanted to take off after slipping his phone in my pocket but he stopped me once more to my annoyance. "They went over there, there has to be some kind of place where there's ice cream, but Niall could be anywhere."

Yeah, because this was helping me now, I just brushed his hand off, squeezing myself threw people while my eyes were burning with tears.

One problem was that I felt like I had failed, I mean, I had, I had known better but still not stopped Niall from going with Harry because I was such an idiot who thought that maybe Harry would tell him everything he was keeping from me and his sister, the bigger problem was that it was NIALL, and he was only a baby, this was like the feeling I had had after not finding him in front of the sports place. But it was different now, there were so many more options, much worse stuff as well, I should've called Maura but I couldn't bring myself to. Besides, we didn't even have HER number.

I found the place Louis had been talking about, also a lot of people stared at me as if I had lost my mind, I was very close, trust me.

There was no sight of Niall, I called out for him a few times, remembering that he probably wouldn't have heard me. IF he had even gotten lost, maybe he had been kidnapped. Or run over by a car. Or fallen into the Th-

"Liam!" It wasn't Niall unfortunately, it was Harry.

His face looked like he had been crying pretty badly, he looked worked up in general, good, he deserved. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

"Nothing! It wasn't my fault, Li! You know how he is, there was this little puppy and he wanted to look at it and-"

"Then you go fucking look at this puppy with him and not let go of his hand, are you stupid, he's eleven!" I was losing it completely now, in reality I wasn't even that mad at Harry, I just wanted to throw myself off Tower Bridge.

"I'm sorry, Liam, please, let's just go looking for him." My harsh voice seemed to intimate him, he kept his distance after I gave him a short nod, trying to hold in all my insults for him, i could safe them for later.

"How long has he been missing?" It couldn't be that long but one fucking minute would've caused me to lose my shit.

"Twenty minutes now, I promise, I looked for him, I asked people walking by, does he have a phone?" Here was the part where I was the one to blame, for not charging my phone because I thought it'd be unnecessary.

"He does. But I'm the only one who has his number but my phone went off. Unless we wanna call his mother to explain that I was stupid enough to lose her son we can't call him. Besides that, now that I think about it he probably left his phone in the hotel." Great, this was awesome.

We didn't find him, Gemma and Louis didn't have any luck either, I refused to go back to our meet up place after half an hour, I was full on crying now, so much Harry stopped me all of a sudden to just pull me into a hug. No idea where we even were at this point, nowhere near Niall, that was for sure. "Hey, Li, listen. We'll call my mum now and she'll ask Maura for Niall's number, okay? And if he doesn't pick up we'll call the police, but we'll find him, okay, I… wait."

"What?" It was embarrassing enough that I sniffed into Harry's shoulder, but he let go  of me so abruptly that I nearly fell forward.

"Is that Ni-"

I didn't wait for him to finish his sentence, just looking into the same direction, wiping over my eyes to have a better sight. Holy shit, HOW THE HELL WAS HE SO CALM, THAT WAS NIALL.

This was how I nearly died and caused an accident, because I ignored the red light, actually I didn't because I didn't notice the street so I guess I wasn't the one to blame here. It definitely was Niall, he was all alone, sitting on the steps to this really popular church or whatever, face buried in his arms, probably crying like hell now. It made me mad that nobody went up to him and asked what was up, on the other hand, I was here now, he didn't need some stranger's help.

"Ni, hey, babe, it's me…" I actually got down onto my knees in front of him, not having enough strength to talk louder, I felt tears streaming down my face, of relief this time, because holy fucking shit.

"L-Liam!?" His face shot up immediately, he was crying even more than I was, I could barely understand his voice before he flung himself at me. "I-I'm s-sorry..."

"Hey, shhshh, nothing happened, look at me, please." As much as I wanted to keep on holding him, I had to pull away and check whether he was hurt anything, Niall didn't want to but I was stronger than him, keeping my hands on his arms to look him directly into the face, searching for any signs. "Did you get hurt? Did anybody do something to you? Please, talk to me, Ni."

"N-Nothing h-happened… I-I j-just w-wanted … a-and t-then…" It was impossible to get a whole sentence out of him, hell, I was still crying myself, it was no wonder that he was sobbing so I tried to dry his cheeks a little with my thumbs, cupping his face to press a few kisses onto his forehead.

"Okay, it's all good, okay? I found you, I'm here, I won't let you out of my sight now, I swear to god." Niall sniffed, reaching out, I thought he wanted to hug me again, but instead he lightly touched my cheek.

"D-Don't c-cry, Li…" This made everything just worse, I sat down properly now, pulling him into my lap so his head was tugged under my chin, rocking him in my arms after tightening them as much as I thought would be alright.

"I'm not crying, I never cry, everything's fine, it's all good." No idea whom I was trying to calm down, I was so relieved, this felt like a miracle, because how the hell should we have ever found him here, it was pretty much impossible, but he was in my arms and things were alright. That didn't make any of us stop crying though.

When Harry finally came after me, he just hung up his phone, dropping next to me, not saying anything but just hugging both of us at once, his head on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Ni, I didn't want to lose you, I swear, I should've payed more attention…"

"W-Was m-my f-fault…" Niall sobbed into my neck, I hugged him tighter then, nearly laughing because of how I felt now.

"It was nobody's fault, it doesn't matter, we found you and you won't get lost anymore because you'll stay with me from now on." And I sure as hell would not even risk something like this happening ever again, I had thought my life was over, that we'd never find him again, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself, what would I be doing without my Nialler?

"The others are gonna be here as soon as they can…" Harry remained with his head on my shoulder, I didn't mind it now, I don't think anything could've happened hat would've upset me, Niall was in my lap, everything was unimportant.

"You got a tissue, Haz?" Niall was wetting the front of my shirt, not that I cared but I didn't think it was very comfortable like this.

"Yeah…" He was sniffing now, too, his eyes were a little watery as he leaned away to reach into his pocket. "Here."

"Thanks… Ni, baby, you gonna look at me quickly? Please." His face was breaking my heart, I could hardly convince him to let go of me for a tiny bit, Harry used the chance that Niall wasn't all wrapped up in my arms anymore to kiss his forehead, i knew how guilty he was, I wouldn't blame him for it. "Nialler, you don't have to cry anymore, you're safe now. I know it's been scary, babe, but it was good that you just stayed here, okay? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I thought t-that…I'd n-never see you a-again…" The thing was, I had thought that too, but I shushed him quietly, drying his cheeks a little more before pulling him close to my chest again, pretending that I had it all together.

"Niall, I would never let that happen, I will always look for you, do you think I could carry on without you? No. You know how much you mean to me, don't you? I'll always take care of you and I would never ever let you go missing, babe, I love you so much." I think he really needed the reassuring, plus I really needed to say it out loud, to convince myself, because before I had been close to giving up.

"I love you too." Niall sniffed, his hair was tickling my bare throat when he nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck. "And you too, Harry."

"Love you too, Ni…" We were all so beaten down that it didn't seem weird to any of us, really, I actually found this really calming, because we were here and safe and we all loved each other, this sounded emotional as hell but it was true, I just wanted to snuggle Niall.

I guess Harry was somehow feeling the same, he reached out for Niall's hand since he was in my lap, leaving Harry out somehow, but it worked like this because Niall took it, which was really sweet, it made my heart ache even worse actually, I never wanted to move again.

When Gemma and Louis came, they didn't seem as devastated as us, well, they had had time to calm down besides I don't think that this had really gotten to Gemma, she didn't know Niall after all. "Are you guys… alright? Did anything else happen? You all look like somebody died."

"No… we're fine. Should we get going?" Harry cleared his throat, letting go of Niall slowly to stand up, pretending for a second that he was fine before hugging Louis all of a sudden.

"It's fine, Harry, you found him, okay? Wasn't your fault." Over his shoulder, Louis met my eyes, I tried to nod and look somewhat alright even though I wasn't but I still tried to coax Niall into getting up with me.

"I'll carry you, okay? Just let me stand up, you don't even have to let go." He was always so anxious about not being close to me after anything happened, it was making me feel really bad actually, he really needed me so much to take care of him and simply being there.

"What should we do now?" Everyone seemed to think it was really inappropriate to speak up now, it kinda was, I din't know, I just picked Niall up, letting him snuggle against me and talking quietly to him so he'd cheer up a little even if I was not feeling like it myself.

"I… I'm still starving." Louis was speaking slowly, as if to test if it was okay to say something that was as simple as that, throwing worried glances at me, as if I'd rip his head off for saying hoe he felt.

"Let's go find somewhere to eat." I decided to speak up because they all seemed to be afraid of me all of a sudden, so that's why they relaxed as they noticed that my little outbreak from earlier was over, there was no need to talk this over again now, I wouldn't let Niall go alone with anybody anymore, that was clear.

"Are you okay again, baby?" It was good to let the others walk ahead a few steps, I didn't feel the need to talk to them right now.

"Yeah… please don't tell my mum, Li, she will get mad." Yeah, at me, and she'd have every right to.

"I won't, Ni, don't worry. She wouldn't be mad at you, she'd just be glad you're alright, like we all are. Promise that you'll stay with me now and tell me whenever you wanna go somewhere?" Just because it had been Harry didn't mean that it couldn't have happened to me as well if we're being honest, I still didn't know what had happened exactly, I also didn't want to ask.

"Promise. And Liam… Harry told me something…" Oh.

"What did he tell you?" Right, I had completely forgotten about everything else going on, the good thing was I hardly brought myself to care.

"I asked if he had told Louis yet and he sighed and then… then he said that if I ever liked somebody I should go tell them so it wouldn't be like with him and Louis. And he also said that they had spent a lot of time with each other after Christmas and also… they kissed." Yeah, right, kissed, but props to Harry for keeping his dirty mind to himself for once.

"So, do they know that they love each other now?" This was still pretty confusing, I didn't wanna push Niall but he would tell me anyway, because he told me everything and Harry wouldn't have said a word to him if I wasn't allowed to know.

"I think so… Harry said it's complicated." It had always been complicated, but I guess it wasn't gonna get any easier this way, fucking Louis, all because he couldn't admit to himself that he wouldn't be able to last a day without Harry.

"They'll figure this out. They both need a new years kiss, we should lock them in somewhere together." There it was, Niall's giggle, it wasn't really loud or anything, rather short, but it made me smile a tiny bit.

"Do you think they'll be getting married some day?" An interesting thought, Niall was being serious, this was beyond adorable.

"Who knows. If they do they have to invite us because this is all thanks to us." Actually not, but who cares.

"And because of the cake." Niall threw in, lifting his head now, he seemed better, there was more color in his face now.

"Always thinking of sweets, are you?" I poked his tummy a little, causing some laughter to come out of his mouth, this was good, he was happier again, automatically lifting my mood too, I didn't even want to think back at what had happened.

After that, things got back to normal again, besides the fact that Niall was practically glued to me, well, he always was but it was worse now, not that I minded, it was good actually because I didn't want to leave him out of my sight either, I even let him sit in my lap when we were eating and carried him later while we were walking around again. With our mums again, because after all we still wanted to get a little bit of sightseeing done. Niall didn't complain, I think he enjoyed it even, especially because all of my attention belonged to him now, I'm serious, I hardly spoke to anyone else, they also didn't try to really.

"Look." I stretched my arm out so Niall could see what I was pointing at, since I was leaning down we nearly were the same size, but instead of actually looking he just leaned back against me.

"Li?" His breath hit my cheek, right before he yawned quietly.

"What's wrong? Tired?" That was very likely, it wasn't so late but we had been running around all day long.

"Mhmm… I wanna cuddle…" With that he just curled his arms around my neck again, practically pleading me to pick him up again.

"Aww, come here, we'll go back in a bit, okay?" Actually we were already on our way, so I stood up after hugging him close, having him wrap his legs around my waist. "Don't sleep in on me, babe, we still got dinner to eat."

"Just… napping… a little bit…" That's what I always said before falling asleep when I told him not to, so I laughed quietly, making sure we wouldn't fall behind too far.

"Didn't you tell me before that you really like the underground? If you don't leave your eyes open then you'll miss it." It was true, Niall found about everything new exciting, it was really fun to watch him get into such a great mood so easily, not now, apparently.

"But I'm sleepy." Niall whined into my neck, I let that count simply because he sounded so poor.

"It's fine, I got you." Maybe he really should go to sleep, Zayn would have to get him to bed later as they were sharing a room and not us, but he's managed that, right? I hadn't seen him for more than two hours today though, not sure if he was still determined to suddenly be a good brother.

Over his shoulder, I watched Harry and Louis, thinking about what Niall had told me before, I was still wondering why Harry hadn't been able to just tell me personally, maybe he was embarrassed or something,

"Liam?" I turned around at this voice, I had been completely caught up in my thoughts.

"Yeah?" It was Niall's mum, we hadn't told anybody what had happened, it would've only caused problems, besides Niall had begged me not to and I really didn't wanna come off as untrustworthy, if he had been with me, it wouldn't have happened.

"Would you mind taking Niall back to the hotel with Harry and Louis? We'll come back later, I'll give you a key to Niall and Zayn's room." Actually I preferred it like this anyway, but I just nodded.

"Where's Zayn?" No one had seen him all day long.

"With a friend. He'll come back later tonight." Great, perfect timing to wake up Niall.

"Alright, see you tomorrow then?" She smiled, obviously relieved because I was taking care of Niall since two days now.

Since Gemma would obviously not come along either, I made sure to squeeze myself, and Niall, through a few people to reach Harry and Louis while we were waiting for the tube.

It was mostly boring, because I didn't have Niall pointing out random things, I just held him while he slept, no idea how he managed to do that since we were all talking and not so quiet but I was glad, he needed his sleep.

"I'm starting to think I'm sick or something, I'm always feeling like Im starving." Louis complained, we all were hungry, except for Niall, I should've brought him up to his room instead of the restaurant but he hadn't been eating since a few hours, I was trying to show some responsibility.

"Well, you and me have that in common." No idea if Harry really meant or if he was just saying it because, but he laughed before looking at Niall. "Are you sure he'll make it without passing out, Li?"

"I'm… fine…" Niall had woken up a little before, he was sitting next to me, half on top of me actually, leaning into my side with all of his weight.

"I got you in case you sleep in, but you should really eat something." He had refused to let me order hims something, but we could share mine.

"Hmm… only if you carry me into my room later…" Well, it wasn't hard to agree to that.

"I'd say Liam's been carrying you everywhere today." That was true, it got a little exhausting after a while because he wasn't like, a toddler anymore, but I'd do anything for him to forget about today.

"It's okay, of course I'll carry you, try and stay awake for a little bit, okay?" I rubbed his cheek with my thumb slowly, probably making everything even worse and making him even sleepier.

Maybe this would've been a good possibly to talk about… stuff, but our food came then so I decided to wait, I was sick of talking to them separately, if they really had kissed, or done more than that, they'd know about each other's feelings, so why were they fucking not admitting them?

The whole dinner it was all like 'Oh, Louis, let me try yours' and 'Harry, you can use my fork', while all I did was trying to feed Niall and make sure he wouldn't choke because he forgot to chew, I placed him in my lap then because I suddenly thought it was too risky letting him sit that far on the edge. "Come on, open up."

"But I'm not hungry, I don't want to…" His protest was getting a little more annoyed now, it reminded me of that one time he had been sick and Zayn had been trying to force him to swallow pills so I gave up, briefly kissing the top of his head.

"Okay, I'm sorry, you don't have to. Go to sleep." It would be best, if he slept before he would realize that I'd have to leave him alone in his room, I didn't want to, but god knows when Zayn would come back and I couldn't take him to my room because everyone would wonder where he'd gone.

"We still haven' thought about what we're gonna do for new year's eve." Well, Louis could only speak for himself.

"Yeah, I'll probably stay in and do nothing." In case anyone had missed it, partying was not my thing.

Except I had thought I was the only one. "Yeah, we'll probably not do anything either."

"You won't?" Their exchanged smiles were really creepy, honestly, I was starting to get scared.

"No… we have… something else to do." Oh wow, so open all of a sudden?

"Like what?" I looked down at Niall, but he seemed deep asleep while nuzzling into my shirt, still, I covered the ear that wasn't pressed against my chest with my palm. "Something going on you refuse to tell me since eight days?"

"Well…" Again, they looked at each other very suspiciously, both blushing almost at the same time, Louis cleared his throat then. "Look… we had some time to talk and then… we would've told you it's just… we don't wanna do this too fast."

"Yeah… it's weird… well, not in a bad way, but…" Okay, this was taking too long.

"Niall told me that you kissed. And I'm not sure if he meant kissing or-"

"Okay, okay. We kinda… well. And I would've told you but… I didn't know how to and Louis didn't either and… we're just taking this slow because, you know, my mum is here and we're not used to be anything besides… best friends." After that, Harry seemed as if he wanted to die while a really wide smile spread across my face.

"Can I take it as is in you're dating?" No idea how or when or why but this was awesome, I felt so happy for them, I cared more about that than I would've ever care about my own relationship.

"I guess you can… put it that way, yeah. But we'll have figure things out at first, so… yeah." But Louis smiled at Harry when he was finished, and he got a smile back, which made me feel even more relieved.

I wanted to ask questions, but I realized that Harry probably had no idea how long Louis had known all of this and I also didn't know if Louis was stilling planning on moving away.

Well, I got an answer for that, about ten minutes later, when we were finished with the awkward talk and I told them it was fine if they acted more of a couple in front of me since I knew, so I got to watch them kiss a few times, which was a little weird, but a good excuse for why I had to leave. "Alright, you guys will be fine here, right? I'll better bring Niall to bed."

"Okay, Li… thanks." I met Harry's eyes, knowing what he thanked me for, but I just smiled, in the end, I hadn't done anything.

When I was halfway on my way to the stairs, I heard Louis yell my name, it made me flinch, just like on my first in school when he had screamed through the whole hallway that he was gay. It was something different this time. "Sorry that you can't share a room with us in college anymore."

Seemed as if someone had finally made a very overdue decision.

I just smiled back, not saying a word and leaving because people were complaining now that we were being too loud, not like I could've cared any less, after such good news.

When I came upstairs to Niall's room, he still wasn't awake, I carefully put him into what I thought was his bed according to the stuffed animals, going on a search for his pajamas. "Liam?"

I didn't turn around, because I was still going through his suitcase, but I answered anyway. "What's wrong, Ni? We'll just change clothes and you can go to sleep, okay?"

"Can I sleep over in your room?" There it was. "Please, Zayn won't care anyway."

"He would care, he-"

"He's gone all night, Li. Please?" This made me sigh, but I grabbed his bed clothes, coming over to sit on the edge of his bed, having him crawl into my lap immediately, making it even harder to say no.

"But he'll be gone soon, I don't wanna steal your time with him." Which was really stupid to say since Zayn obviously wasn't here so what time was I stealing?

"But, Li… I'm scared alone. And I'm also scared because of today, I don't wanna be away from you. Zayn would understand, I can still see him during the day and when we get back home, but I'd rather be with you." Who was I to say no, really now, it wouldn't help fixing any of what had happened during the past few years if he shared a room with his brother NOW. "I see you more as my brother…"

"Okay, let's go." This time, just for once, I didn't tell him that it was wrong, I just collected his clothes and stuffed animals, not saying another word about this, because Niall was right with everything he had said. I saw him as my little brother as well and I couldn't hurt him now like this, it should be his decision anyway. Zayn would go away but me and Niall would have a few more years to spend, a lot, if he wouldn't mind the way I was constantly babying him, I hoped not.