Archive of Our Own

“Jooheon—Jooheon can you cover my shift tonight? I can’t go; Moong is sick! Yes, yes I’ll pay you back—yeah, thank you, Honey!” Minhyuk quickly dropped the call as he rushed to the vet with his puppy pug, Moong, in his arms. The poor pup had been vomiting since morning and it freaked Minhyuk out. He loved Moong more than everything and there was no way he would let his pup suffer any longer!

He had a shift at the bookshop he worked at tonight. Even though he had made Jooheon cover it for him, his boss would still cut his salary this month (not to mention his boss wasn’t a huge fan of dogs; she would give no mercy if she knew Minhyuk didn’t go to work to get his pup to a vet). Thinking of that only made him sigh.

Tuition fee, apartment rent (he shared it with his college mate from a different major, Kihyun), Moong’s dog food, and his own needs demanded money every time. He wasn’t in a good term with his father since he decided to change his major from Economics to art department in his second year, which his father opposed. As the result, his old man stopped his monthly allowance, not even giving him money for his college stuff, and he had to work at a bookshop during weekdays after college and a café on weekends.

Shortly, Minhyuk, a 21-year-old art student, was broke and did need help.

After many, many loud barks, pity meows, and a little bird breaking free from its cage and almost pooping on Minhyuk’s head, Moong’s turn to get diagnosed finally came. It appeared the problem was the pup ate something he shouldn’t have eaten. The vet provided him a bland diet and after a few days, Moong would feel better.

Minhyuk thanked the vet and finished the administration, half-relieved half-burdened. This wasn’t on the budget and that meant he should add more shift hours with a hope that his bosses would give him extra amount this month.

“Please don’t get sick again, okay?” Minhyuk said when they’d been outside. He kissed the puppy’s head before placing him in the basket on the front of his bicycle. Making sure that Moong wouldn’t jump off of the basket, Minhyuk rode his bike back to his apartment.

Kihyun was home when Minhyuk arrived. “I went to the bookshop and you weren’t there,” he said, grunting when Moong ran approaching him and licked his toe. “Jooheon said this beast is sick and you needed him to cover your shift.”

“How many times should I tell you that Moong isn’t a beast?” Minhyuk pouted. “He’s been sick since morning, so I brought him to the vet. Hey, did you feed him something weird again?”

“Why do you always think negatively about me?” The black-haired guy rolled his eyes. “I don’t like him, but that doesn’t mean I’d even try to kill him.”

Minhyuk huffed, not wanting to keep on going with the same topic. He went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of cold water in the fridge, gulping it down. “I will need extra shift this week,” he said heavily. “I might as well look for another part-time job.”

“Run out of money already?” Kihyun’s tone sounded concerned. “I told you, if you need money, I can help—”

“No, no,” Minhyuk cut Kihyun’s sentence midway. “I don’t want to be a burden. I can handle this, Ki.”

“You can’t look for more jobs. You’ve been dying maintaining your time. It’s like twenty-four hours a day aren’t enough for you. You’re damn tired, Minhyuk.”

“Yeah, but I need more money. I should restock my art supplies and Moong’s dog food.”

“Or you can sell that beast and gain money for you to survive.”

Minhyuk made a pained expression. “Kihyun! Don’t say such a horrible thing in front of the kid! You scared him!” he protested dramatically. “Poor Moong won’t be able to live without me. He needs me. We need each other.”

“I don’t get why you think a broke art student would need a dog. What you need right now is someone who can support your life before you’re dead by working and studying too much.”

Minhyuk looked at Kihyun in awe, as though Kihyun just said something very brilliant.

Well, maybe Kihyun did.

“Did you mean someone like a hella rich boyfriend? Or,” Minhyuk’s eyes were sparkling, “a sugar daddy?”

Kihyun winced at that. “I was about to say that you need to reconcile with your father,” he said, “Never thought you’re interested in a rich old man.”

“As long as he’s handsome and fun to talk with, I don’t mind,” Whistling, Minhyuk went to his room, leaving Kihyun dealing with Moong, which still tried to lick his toe.

+

Minhyuk might sound so sure about the whole sugar daddy thingy when he talked to Kihyun, but after he gave it a second thought, he wasn’t that certain anymore. Having someone to support his financial sounded fun and more than okay, but what if it wasn’t worth it? There would be many possibilities of him meeting the wrong ones; how could he know if someone was the one who would worth his time (and body)?

Not to mention, Minhyuk was a virgin. This was his little secret; he was too embarrassed to admit that he never got laid before since all his friends had done it, including Kihyun, who did it with their own friend since their first year. The only one ever touched Minhyuk was himself, and thinking of losing his virginity to someone he barely knew kind of made him scared.

Exhaling deeply, Minhyuk stared at his laptop screen. He had made a profile on the site, receiving a bunch of messages which mostly contained dick pictures or uneducated text such as “nice booty you have” even though he didn’t even post any photos of his booty, or “let’s have fun with daddy’s junior” which made him frown unsatisfied. It wasn’t like he had a high expectation, but he kind of hoped someone interesting would appear and wipe out his hesitation, yet it seemed everyone in his inbox used their dicks instead of their brains to think.

Half-heartedly, the auburn-haired guy chose to stop his searching for tonight. It had been a couple hours since he started looking for a man who could fulfill his criteria, and since he didn’t get one, he would just try it later. Maybe tomorrow or whenever it was when he wasn’t occupied with his work and college tasks.

“Moongie!” Minhyuk called for his pup after he shut down his laptop, and Moong immediately jumped on the bed, sitting on the spot beside him. He patted the dog’s head before laying his back on the bed. “Let’s see if I can find someone to make our life better, yeah?”

Moong barked once, as though he was answering his lovely owner.

Unfortunately, Minhyuk’s intention to search for a sugar daddy should be delayed until the end of the week. He was pretty busy; his bosses gave him more shift time without him asking, and he got a pile of college tasks that needed to be done next week. Minhyuk was exhausted and he needed something to distract him from his stressful life.

Thus he took his laptop and turned it on, and then he went to the site he had left for the entire week. As expected, there were more messages received, most of them were the uninteresting ones. Minhyuk scrolled through his inbox, deleting those he didn’t want to see anymore.

He kept scrolling until he found something that finally caught his interest.

The subject was ‘Cuddle Buddy’.

Minhyuk straightened his back as he clicked on the message. The sender name was Son Hyunwoo; handsome, looking from the photo he used for his profile. He was 35 years old, working at a big company, but he didn’t add what his position was. He didn’t leave a sexual message; instead, he had a good offer for Minhyuk.

“Good evening.

My name is Son Hyunwoo and by the time you read this message, you’d know that I’m interested in you. You’ve met my criteria, and I’m hoping I would meet yours too. You might think I’m looking for someone only to get laid, but no, I only need someone to cuddle with every night. We can do the sex stuff if you want, for sure, but I wanted to let you know that it’s not my first intention.

I hope you would reply to my message soon.

Sincerely,

Son Hyunwoo.”

Minhyuk cocked his eyebrows. This man was sure straightforward, and he managed to surprise Minhyuk by telling that sex wasn’t his first intention. Hyunwoo appeared after tons of penises, buttholes, requests for his body pictures, and everything else that didn’t satisfy him. It felt like getting a fresh air after being caged in a room full of smoke. And the most important thing, Hyunwoo was looking for a cuddle buddy, and oh, how Minhyuk loved cuddling.

He didn’t waste his time and quickly typed the answer. He apologized that it took him a whole week to reply to his message, and if Hyunwoo was still interested in him, he’d like to meet the man. Sure, he wouldn’t miss this chance to get extra allowance only by cuddling with someone.

Hyunwoo’s reply came in the next morning. The man agreed to meet with Minhyuk this Thursday at an expensive café in an elite area after Minhyuk finished his class, which was at 12 in the afternoon. Hyunwoo wanted to have lunch together, he said.

Minhyuk quickly replied, “Meet you there.”

+

Minhyuk couldn’t sit still on his seat. It was Saturday, almost 12 PM, and his nervousness forced him to come an hour earlier than the time they’d dealt. The café was cozy—and fancy—and the prices were no joke. Minhyuk stared at his phone, sometimes checking the digital clock on its screen. Hyunwoo would come very soon and his stomach was flipping. After Kihyun failed at being his mental support, Minhyuk knew he was alone in this field.

The sound of tinkling bell came from the front door, telling that someone was entering the café, and Minhyuk’s body went rigid. He heard footsteps from behind, and it stopped next to him. He wasn’t even brave enough to look up at someone who was clearly standing beside his table.

“Lee Minhyuk?”

The voice was deep and handsome. Minhyuk held his breath as he finally raised his head. He quickly recognized the face of the stranger; it was the same as the one he saw on Son Hyunwoo’s profile—but he must admit that Son Hyunwoo was way, way more handsome in real life. He was tall, his body was well-built, and the black suits he wore fitted it very well.

“Uh… yes. Son Hyunwoo?”

The man smiled a small smile and nodded. “Did I make you wait?” he asked as he took a seat across from Minhyuk. He glanced at his watch on his left wrist—it was an expensive watch, Minhyuk could tell—and frowned a little. “It’s still fifteen minutes to twelve.”

“Oh, no, no!” Minhyuk waved his hands, telling Hyunwoo that it wasn’t everyone’s fault. “You’re fifteen minutes early. I’m just… uh. I have a tendency to come an hour before the meeting time when I’m,” He gulped, “nervous.”

“Did I make you nervous?” Oh, how Minhyuk hated this man’s confidence.

“No! I mean, yes, well, technically…” The redhead licked his lower lip, hands balling into two fists, gripping on his jeans tightly. “This is my first time. I’m not really sure how to do… this.”

“Hmm, I see,” Hyunwoo raised his hand to catch the waiter’s attention, ordering a cup of hot Americano after that.

They spend a few minutes in silence, and it gave Minhyuk time to study Hyunwoo’s figure. As someone who had reached the age of 35, Hyunwoo didn’t look that old. Even if Hyunwoo faked his age, telling he was 27 years old, Minhyuk would believe it. Hyunwoo was one with a stoic face; Minhyuk guessed he was a serious person. He was pretty neat, looking from how he dressed and styled his jet-black hair, and since he came 15 minutes earlier than it should be (Minhyuk was sure it was a habit, not nervousness), Minhyuk guessed he was always on time (if not early).

As what was mentioned before, Hyunwoo was handsome. Thick eyebrows, sharp eyes, pointed nose, plump lips—to put it short, he had everything a man would want to have on his face. His expression was cold when he didn’t smile, but Minhyuk still liked it a lot.

Minhyuk exhaled slowly. Maybe this whole sugar daddy thing wasn’t really a bad idea. Just like what he said to Kihyun: he didn’t mind as long as his soon-to-be sugar daddy was handsome, and Hyunwoo was more than what he’d expected.

“Do you not want to order anything else besides your drink?” Hyunwoo’s voice broke Minhyuk’s concentration (on the older man’s face). Apparently, his coffee had been served, and now he took a sip on the beverage. “It’s lunch time. You should order something to eat.”

“I’m—um—not really hungry,” Minhyuk said. It wasn’t entirely true—he was hungry, but the agitation in his stomach wouldn’t let him digest anything right now. “You didn’t order anything for lunch, too.”

“I’m enough with a cup of coffee.”

Minhyuk scrunched his nose, a habit he always did when he didn’t agree with someone. “You need more than that. Lunch is important! It helps you focus on your work. You can’t only drink a cup of coffee when you have to get through a hectic day.”

Hyunwoo looked a little surprised at Minhyuk’s response, and Minhyuk quickly shut his mouth. He mentally cursed himself for not able to control what he should say. Now he sounded like an annoying grandma scolding her grandchild for not taking their lunch, and he was 99% certain that Hyunwoo would think of him as a fussy person, no fun at all.

But, on the contrary, Hyunwoo smiled warmly after it. He placed the white cup on the table and leaned forward, fingers tangling together as he put his chin on top of them. “Then,” he said, “let’s make a good deal. Say, how much I need to pay for one cuddle session and a lunchbox every day?”

Minhyuk blinked. How much should Hyunwoo pay? He honestly didn’t know. How much should someone pay for a cuddle and a lunchbox? It wasn’t a usual thing a sugar daddy would ask from their sugar baby, was it? Their relationship wasn’t included sex (except if Minhyuk wanted to), so would it lessen the price?

“I—I don’t know. I never thought about, uh, how much you should pay,” Minhyuk rubbed his nape nervously. “How much it usually costs?”

The older male chuckled, only to make Minhyuk more embarrassed for being so amateur. Hyunwoo didn’t seem to mind, though—no, he didn’t mind guiding Minhyuk at all.

“What do you need? What makes you choose to find someone to… support your financial?” Hyunwoo asked patiently.

Minhyuk looked hesitant. He never talked about his financial issue to other people besides Kihyun, and he wasn’t really comfortable to talk about it to Hyunwoo. But, Hyunwoo was the one who would help his problem, so it should be fine to tell him about his condition, right?

“I,” Minhyuk put his both hands on the cold glass of iced chocolate he ordered earlier; the chilly surface of the glass somewhat helped him calm down. “I need money for my tuition fee and apartment rent, also for my art supplies—”

“You’re an art student?” Hyunwoo stopped the auburn-haired guy in the middle of his words.

“Um, yeah.”

“That’s interesting,” The man smiled. “What else do you need every month?”

“Uh,” Minhyuk thought for a moment, making a list in his head. “I also need money for my daily needs, and for my dog’s needs—”

“Oh, you have a dog?” Once again, Hyunwoo cut him before he could finish his sentence.

“Yeah!” Minhyuk nodded; his eyes were sparkling when he started explaining about Moong. “He’s a four-month-old pug; I got him from a nice lady next door. Her dogs gave birth and she couldn’t raise them all, so I gladly took one. His name is Moong. You should meet him once in a while! I bet you’ll like him!”

Minhyuk loved talking about Moong. He didn’t realize that he was blabbering about Moong this and that. He was so excited telling Hyunwoo that Moong was the sweetest dog in the world; he knew when Minhyuk felt down, and he would be there to cheer his owner up. He told Hyunwoo how Moong loved going outside, he also loved taking a bath, and Moong had a favorite teddy bear that he couldn’t sleep without it.

In the meantime, Hyunwoo listened carefully at Minhyuk’s story about his dog. He looked in awe at the energy Minhyuk had, and he seemed to like it. He was waiting until Minhyuk finished his story, and when Minhyuk did, the younger guy couldn’t help but blush. He had a tendency to talk a lot when it came to something he liked, and Moong was something that he loved more than anything.

“I’m sorry,” Minhyuk muttered with head hanging low, hiding his flustered face, “I got a bit excited.”

“It’s alright. It’s cute,” Just to make Minhyuk’s heart beat even faster, Hyunwoo said softly, calmly. “So that’s what I should pay you, then? Providing good life for you and your dog, and you will give me a cuddle and a lunchbox every day.”

Minhyuk exhaled softly before raising his head, braving himself to look at Hyunwoo. “But is it worth it? You’ll give me so much and I’ll barely do anything for you in return.”

“You don’t know how much what you’ll do means to me, Minhyuk,” Hyunwoo smiled, and Minhyuk didn’t know what that smile meant. “Can we start tomorrow? I’m expecting a box of nice lunch on my desk.”

+

Hyunwoo had given Minhyuk brief information of where he worked at and what position he had (he also told Minhyuk to pretend to be his nephew just in case), but Minhyuk couldn’t help but stare in awe when he arrived at Hyunwoo’s office. This office building was huge, and to think that Hyunwoo was the CEO in this company, wow, he must be very rich.

Minhyuk felt people looking at him when he stepped into the building. It was normal because judging from what he wore, people would tell that he was a college student, and what would a college student do in this place? Minhyuk swallowed nervously.

The lady at the front desk gave him a questioned look when he went closer. “May I help you, sir?” she asked politely, though she failed at hiding the “what the fuck is this poor-looking student do in this fucking office?” on her face.

“I, um,” Minhyuk almost cursed because his heart thumped rapidly. “I’m looking for Hy—I mean, Mr. Son Hyunwoo?”

The more puzzled expression appeared on the lady’s face when Minhyuk said the name. “Have you made an appointment, sir?”

“Uh, yes, I guess,” Minhyuk wasn’t really sure. Hyunwoo told him to come at 11:30, so didn’t it mean they had made an appointment?

“May I have your name?”

“Minhyuk. Lee Minhyuk. I’m his nephew.”

The lady told him to wait and made a phone call to whatever it was, and after a moment, Minhyuk found himself standing in the lift that brought him to the 35^th floor. (Even the lift looked extravagant to the point Minhyuk wanted to pull off his shoes so that his poor, ugly sneakers wouldn’t dirty the shiny floor.)

The lift made a soft ‘ding’ sound, but it was enough to make Minhyuk’s body jolt slightly. The door opened and Minhyuk exited the lift, only to be greeted by another lady whom Minhyuk assumed was Hyunwoo’s secretary. The lady smiled friendly at him and told him that Hyunwoo had been waiting. She led Minhyuk to the glass door behind her, which directed him to a short corridor. At its end was another glass door, and behind it was Hyunwoo’s room.

Hyunwoo’s office was spacious. It looked elegant with the minimalist furniture, but the most amazing thing in the room was the view that was seen from the large windows glass. Minhyuk was stunned once he realized he could see the entire city from the windows before Hyunwoo cleared his throat, catching the boy’s attention.

If there was something—or someone—who could beat the beautiful scenery of Seoul outside the windows, it must be Hyunwoo. He was there, standing next to the black desk, looking so good with his black button down shirt that pressed fittingly on his body. He wore black-framed glasses which made him look slightly older but didn’t reduce the handsomeness. Instead, it increased the sexiness in him that Minhyuk lost his breath.

Damn, Hyunwoo was one hot CEO everyone would kill for.

“Hey,” Hyunwoo put the documents he seemed to read before Minhyuk came on his desk when Minhyuk approached him. “Did you have any difficulties in finding me?”

“No, not at all,” Minhyuk shook his head. He dropped his backpack on one of the chairs in front of Hyunwoo’s desk as he looked around, still in awe. “You have a nice work space.”

“You like it?” Hyunwoo leaned in to plant a kiss on Minhyuk’s cheek, making Minhyuk almost jump on his spot if he didn’t quickly realize that Hyunwoo, as his sugar daddy, could do it.

It felt nice, anyway. Minhyuk never mentioned this before, but he always loved being a subject for someone’s affection. Clinging, hugging, cuddling, sweet kissing—Minhyuk loved it all.

Minhyuk nodded at Hyunwoo’s question. “You have amazing scenery out there,” he said, smiling when Hyunwoo rubbed his head gently. But then, he pulled away when he remembered about the lunch. “Oh, your lunch!”

The shorter boy grabbed his backpack and pulled out a red lunch box with Elmo image on the lid. Hyunwoo seemed to notice it and Minhyuk felt the heat creeping on his cheeks.

“I remember watching Sesame Street when I was a kid,” the CEO said lightly, as though a 21-year-old guy giving him Elmo lunch box was the most normal thing that could happen in his life. “You brought back good memories.”

“You didn’t have to comfort me,” Minhyuk laughed awkwardly. “My friends always mock me whenever they see this lunch box. They said I’m like a kid.”

“You are. First, you look like a middle school boy, and you’re so easy to get excited at what you like,” Hyunwoo crossed his arms in front of his chest as he leaned against his desk in a relax manner, “but I like it. You’re interesting.”

Minhyuk’s face turned red instantly. At first, he thought Hyunwoo was a rigid person, who wouldn’t be able to make Minhyuk’s stomach feel like flipping, but now he could see that Hyunwoo was pretty laid back, and Minhyuk didn’t know why it was so difficult to act like his usual bubbly self in front of this man.

“Well,” The college student tried to get the topic back to the lunch box—or more to the meal he had cooked for Hyunwoo, “you didn’t tell me what you like and dislike, so I only made kimbap this time, and,” As he spoke, Minhyuk reached inside his backpack and took a water bottle, this time it was a blue bottle with Captain America image on it. “Peach water,” He grinned, “with jelly.”

Hyunwoo’s eyebrows quirked, lips curving into a smile. “Peach water with jelly?”

“It’s my own creation,” Minhyuk admitted sheepishly. “I bet you always have coffee three times a day, so I think you should reduce your daily dose of caffeine. So here, have a try.”

Minhyuk watched in anticipation as Hyunwoo gulped down the drink, and a wave of relief hit him when Hyunwoo seemed to like it. Minhyuk often made said beverage when he needed something refreshing, and judging from Hyunwoo’s occupation, he must need something that could refresh his head.

“It’s nice,” Hyunwoo commented. “Sweet and refreshing, just like you.”

Again and again, Minhyuk’s cheeks turned rosy. “I thought you weren’t like this,” he said, eyes locking on his feet, as though they were the most interesting things in the world. “Never knew you’re really good with sweet words.”

“I’m not usually like this, only with someone I’m comfortable with,” The CEO touched Minhyuk’s cheek as he spoke. “Moreover, I like seeing your cheeks turning red whenever I praise you. It’s cute.”

Minhyuk pouted. “You barely even know me, but you’ve found how to make me blush already,” he sulked, but then he sighed in defeat. He took his phone from his pants pocket and checked the time, reminding himself that he would have a class and he should leave soon. “I can’t stay long, have a class in an hour,” He then paused a bit before asking, “How about tonight?”

“I’ll pick you up at your apartment?”

Minhyuk nodded. “My shift at the bookshop won’t end until ten, so maybe at eleven? I should at least shower and, hmm,” He paused to think, “If you don’t mind, I should use your kitchen to cook for your lunch tomorrow morning. I have a morning class, so there’ll be no time to go back to my apartment to cook.”

“Sure. You can use the ingredients in my fridge. I believe I still have some,” Hyunwoo agreed. “So I’ll pick you up at eleven?”

“I’ll give you the address later,” said the redhead as he carried his backpack. “Make sure you eat everything, okay? Remember, lunch is important!”

“Shouldn’t I be the daddy here, not the baby?” Hyunwoo chuckled when Minhyuk scowled at him. “I’ll eat everything and send you the picture once the lunch box is empty, promise.”

The promise seemed to satisfy Minhyuk because the student didn’t protest in return. “I’ll go, then,” he said, walking to the door.

“I’m sorry I can’t drive you to your college; I have a meeting right after lunch.”

“Nah, it’s fine. You must be busy,” Minhyuk smiled reassuringly. He understood. Moreover, they just started this sugar relationship, and also Minhyuk didn’t want to be a demanding kid that would burden Hyunwoo when the male’s day had been hectic without him asking for anything. “See you tonight?”

A kiss was once again pressed on his cheek before he could reach the door.

“See you tonight, Minhyuk.”

(Later today, when Minhyuk was busy with his painting, a text was received on his phone. He opened it, a smile blooming on his face when he saw a picture of an empty lunch box with a short message: “Scrumptious! :)”)

+

“You should tell me the details later. I want to know everything!”

“This will only be a cuddle session, Kihyun. Kinky sex is not included.”

“Things will escalate quickly. I bet he will touch you tonight.”

Minhyuk huffed. “You and your fantasy never know how to stop,” he said as he stuffed his art supplies for tomorrow’s class into his backpack—since he had a morning class tomorrow, he brought everything, including the unfinished painting he would paint later tonight after Hyunwoo was asleep.

His phone ringing made Minhyuk almost throw his bag. He picked the call without reading the name of the caller, knowing it must be the handsome CEO.

He was right.

“Hello,”

“Hi!”

Minhyuk could hear a smile in Hyunwoo’s tone. “Ready to go?” he asked. “I’m waiting outside.”

“I’ll be right there. See you in a minute, Hyunwoo,” The call was dropped and Minhyuk quickly shoved his phone into his jeans pocket. “I’m going now, Kihyun. Don’t miss me.”

“No worries; I’m having Hyungwon staying tonight,” Kihyun said nonchalantly.

Minhyuk raised his eyebrows. “Don’t do it on the couch. Please. I love that couch and I don’t want it to get stained by your cum,” he said—pleaded. He crouched down to hug Moong, letting the pup lick his face, knowing he would miss the cute barks even though he would only be away for a night. “Moong would see your dirty doing if you fucked on the couch. He’s still a kid. Don’t ruin his life.”

Kihyun smirked. “Can’t promise that. It always depends on the mood, you know. Sometimes we do it in his kitchen—”

“I don’t need to know about your sex life, please!” Minhyuk groaned as he opened the front door, leaving Kihyun laughing maniacally.

A fancy car had been waiting in front of his apartment and the driver was no one else but Hyunwoo. The man smiled when Minhyuk slid into the passenger seat, giving a kiss on the cheek—Minhyuk started to think that it was his habit—when the door was closed.

“Is that your painting?” Hyunwoo asked, helping Minhyuk put the canvas on the back seat.

“Uh-huh,” Minhyuk answered. “I need to finish it as soon as possible, so I hope you wouldn’t mind if I worked on it in your place. I won’t make a mess, I swear.”

“Of course it’s alright,” Hyunwoo ruffled Minhyuk’s hair. “You can do anything you want, just don’t burn my apartment down.”

“Why not?” Minhyuk grinned teasingly. “You can always buy a new one.”

“I like that place,” Hyunwoo pinched Minhyuk’s cheek playfully. “Don’t be naughty, baby.”

Hyunwoo said it lightly, calling him baby like it was nothing. Maybe it was nothing for the older man—Minhyuk bet Hyunwoo had had several sugar babies before him, judging from how smooth he handled Minhyuk—but it somehow made Minhyuk flustered. It had been a while since he last was in a relationship; it had been a while since someone last called him with cute pet names. Minhyuk almost forgot that having someone special (he could consider Hyunwoo as someone special, couldn’t he?) felt this nice.

They reached Hyunwoo’s apartment in about half an hour later. It seemed Hyunwoo’s life never failed at making Minhyuk stunned because once again, the boy stared in mesmerized at how luxurious Hyunwoo’s place was. It was a penthouse, looking all grand with the expensive furniture inside, and since it took place on the top floor of the apartment, the night view it had was splendid.

“You sure have a good life,” Minhyuk said unconsciously as he placed his both hands on the big windows glass, eyes never tired staring at the thousand lights of the big city. “Even your apartment is amazing.”

“I have an empty life,” Hyunwoo’s lonely tone made Minhyuk want to turn around, but a pair of strong arms had secured him first; they were wrapping around Minhyuk’s slim waist, making him stay still. “This place is too big for one busy person. My bed is too big for me to sleep alone every night.”

“That’s why you want to cuddle rather than having sex?”

Hyunwoo hummed. “I like having quality time with someone I like. Having sex is good, but we can’t have a proper conversation when having sex,” His voice was muffled since he pressed his face on Minhyuk’s shoulder. “Cuddling provides us a good talk and a nice sleep.”

“Do you have difficulties in having a nice sleep?”

“Every night, when I have no one with me and the realization of how lonely my life is attacks my mind.”

“You should be in a relationship with someone in this case,” Minhyuk said as he made a comforting circle with his thumb on the back of Hyunwoo’s hand. “If you were settled with someone, they could cuddle you to sleep every night, and you didn’t even need to pay.”

“Having a relationship with someone requires big responsibilities. It demands my time; it’s less understanding. I’d rather pay someone to cuddle with me every night than having someone nagging about how I never have time for them every time.”

Hearing that, Minhyuk smiled understandingly. “You’ve been in that situation before.”

Hyunwoo kissed Minhyuk’s temple before releasing him. He went to the kitchen, getting a drink for them both, as he started his story, which made Minhyuk slightly taken aback. “I’ve been married once. Five years ago. She was a woman my parents set me up with. I don’t think I loved her that time. I didn’t really care about my love life—I still don’t—and I thought as long as I gave her enough money every month, she would let me live my life.

But money wasn’t what she wanted. I didn’t love her, but she developed feelings for me. She loved me and she started asking for more. She wanted more time with me; she wanted me to love her back. I couldn’t give it to her. I just became the company CEO and I had a load of work in my hands. She didn’t understand—she couldn’t. She would cry every time we fought, and it—” Hyunwoo paused only to heave a heavy sigh, “—it hurt. Even though I didn’t love her, she was still a good woman and I cared for her. She was my wife, my responsibility. It broke me to see her getting hurt because of what I wasn’t capable to do. Thus we chose to get a divorce after two years. It sounds irresponsible, I know, but it couldn’t be helped.”

“And you started looking for sugar babies since then?” Minhyuk joined Hyunwoo in the kitchen, shaking his head when Hyunwoo offered him a glass of red wine. “I don’t drink.”

“I dated a few times after that, but none of them lasted more than a year. Then I started with a one night stand. Sometimes I’d get a friend with benefit, some of them ended up falling in love with me and wanting to have a relationship, so I left them. I think having a sugar baby is the right choice,” Hyunwoo answered as he opened his fridge, getting a can of Coke for Minhyuk.

“Because we only want a good life, not your heart?”

Hyunwoo smiled. “And you all are fun to be with,” he said. He reached out to caress Minhyuk’s cheek, and Minhyuk leaned into the touch. “You’re so soft.”

“Do you always say stuff like this to your previous sugar babies?”

“Maybe,” Hyunwoo muttered as he closed the distance between them, “but no one as innocent as you. You’re like a puppy, and you’re easy to get flustered. I must admit I like you more than I liked my sugar babies before you.”

Minhyuk buried his face into the sturdy chest once he was locked in Hyunwoo’s embrace. He inhaled deeply, sensing Hyunwoo’s earthy scent even though it was almost covered under the odor of an expensive perfume the man wore.

In all honesty, Hyunwoo’s natural body scent smelled even better than any perfumes.

“You’re such a cuddling bear,” Minhyuk murmured. “Let’s get you to bed soon, so I can work on my painting.”

Hyunwoo laughed.

+

Hyunwoo was one big koala. It was past midnight and the man had been soundly asleep after Minhyuk cuddled him to sleep, so Minhyuk could start on his painting. Minhyuk set his canvas and sat on the edge of the bed, ready to paint, but an arm sneaking around his waist startled him. It was, obviously, Hyunwoo’s. Maybe he missed Minhyuk’s presence in his arms and was awakened only to get the warmth back. Thus he lay there, on the side of his body so that he could hug Minhyuk and continue to sleep. Minhyuk could only smile at that.

The digital clock on Hyunwoo’s nightstand showed the numbers “1:30”, but Minhyuk was still busy with his painting. He had worked on it for a while and now his body screamed, wanting to shut down already, but Minhyuk refused to give up to the exhaustion. He wanted the painting to be at least 50% done now, and it was still a lot of work.

Even though the deadline was still in a week, Minhyuk didn’t want to waste his time. He didn’t have much time to do the painting like the other students. He still had to work every day, which cut a lot of his time to do the college stuff. He knew his relationship with Hyunwoo might lift some weight from his shoulders, but he kept reminding himself that a sugar relationship wouldn’t last forever. There would be a time when one of them would choose to end their relationship, and Minhyuk should be ready for that. He would still work his usual hours, though he would turn down extra shift because, damn, he needed to get a little rest.

Minhyuk sighed. He stared at his painting before moving his eyes to the sleeping man behind him, who was still having his arm around his waist. Hyunwoo looked so tired even in his sleep, and Minhyuk felt sorry for him. Hyunwoo had everything Minhyuk always wanted to have: money, nice job, beautiful place to stay. His life should be perfect. However, the man even needed to pay someone to cuddle him to sleep even though he already had everything anyone would kill to have. That made Minhyuk realize something, money didn’t solve everything and life was a hard knock for everyone.

“Even you have your own problem, huh?” the boy whispered as he put his brush aside so that he could reach for Hyunwoo, stroking the black hair gently. He then traced his finger along Hyunwoo’s side profile, loving how strong the man’s jaw was. Hyunwoo was very handsome even when he slept.

Minutes had passed, and Minhyuk went back to his painting, hoping he could get an hour or two to sleep before starting his day.

+

“You should stop working.”

It sounded like an ultimatum. Minhyuk, who was about to bite his burger, looked up at Hyunwoo. “Why?”

They’d been running this sugar relationship for a couple months, and everything went pretty well. Hyunwoo, even though he was much older than Minhyuk, was a good companion. He was fun, sometimes a bit flirty, and Minhyuk enjoyed every moment with him. He provided Minhyuk everything he needed; he even paid for the apartment rent, which made Kihyun almost jump on him and hug him to death. Sometimes, when the man was less busy on weekends, he would take Minhyuk to an art gallery, or to an exhibition, or to any places Minhyuk wanted to go.

In return, Minhyuk would stay in his apartment every night—there were times when he didn’t because Hyunwoo should go for a business trip, or when he went home very late at night that he didn’t want Minhyuk to wait for him—and they would have a quality time together. When Hyunwoo wasn’t really tired, he would let Minhyuk bring Moong to his penthouse, and the puppy seemed so happy playing with Hyunwoo (it made Minhyuk happy too, seeing Moong getting attached to Hyunwoo).

And of course, Minhyuk would still cook lunch for Hyunwoo. Sometimes he would stay and have lunch together in Hyunwoo’s office, sometimes, when whether Hyunwoo or he were pretty occupied, Minhyuk would just drop the lunchbox on the front desk. Minhyuk would prefer having lunch together with the older man, but either way was fine as long as Hyunwoo ate the meal he had cooked.

Two months were enough for Minhyuk to slowly find out what kind of person Hyunwoo was. And for Hyunwoo, two months were enough to see how unhealthy and exhausting Minhyuk’s life was. He worked very hard, even though Hyunwoo had promised to fulfill everything he needed. Minhyuk had told him that he should be prepared if one day, their relationship came to an end. Hyunwoo didn’t seem to agree when Minhyuk said he didn’t want to depend that much on Hyunwoo.

Minhyuk rarely got enough sleep because of his part-time works. He worked every day, starting from evening until the shop was closed. He was struggling with catching up with his study, which made him stay up late, and it worried Hyunwoo.

“You weren’t sleeping at all last night. You only slept for two hours the other night. You’d get sick if you kept up with this life style,” Hyunwoo said as he fed his French fries to the younger boy. “I understand that you don’t want to depend so much on me, but please don’t overwork yourself. At least don’t take shift every night. You need to rest.”

They were sitting at one of the tables at a 24-hours fast food restaurant near Hyunwoo’s apartment. It was Saturday and Minhyuk was exhausted after taking a double shift at the café, replacing the waiter who was sick. The place was always busy every weekend, especially Saturday night, and all Minhyuk wanted was have a big meal and go straight to sleep after that.

That was why, when Hyunwoo picked him up, he said that he wanted to have a double cheese burger with a big glass of strawberry milkshake, and Hyunwoo took him to the restaurant where they were eating now. Hyunwoo didn’t look surprised anymore when Minhyuk literally ordered that bunch of meals; he had been used to Minhyuk’s crazy appetite whenever the boy was tired.

“Should I give you a monthly allowance?” Hyunwoo offered, which made him earn a strong head shake from Minhyuk.

“It’d be too much. I still can manage my time, Hyunwoo.”

“You know money will never be my problem.”

“But monthly allowance is too much. I’m still doing okay, you know.”

“What a stubborn baby,” Hyunwoo sighed as he ran his fingers through his jet-black hair. “I really don’t want to see you working every day. You’re struggling, Minhyuk.”

Minhyuk munched on his burger, a smile threatening to appear on his pretty face. He didn’t want to worry Hyunwoo, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit happy because Hyunwoo seemed to care much for him. It was sweet—Hyunwoo was sweet. Even though what they had wasn’t a love-based relationship,  Minhyuk couldn’t stop himself from caring for Hyunwoo and vice versa.

The restaurant was almost empty because it was near midnight. They sat in the corner where no one would spot them, and it was safe for Minhyuk to move to sit next to Hyunwoo, who reflexively wrapped his arm around Minhyuk’s narrow shoulders, pulling him in a loose, yet warm embrace.

“I love it when you start being a worrywart,” Minhyuk nuzzled his head on Hyunwoo’s neck, “but seriously, Hyunwoo, I’m doing just fine.”

Minhyuk looked up to Hyunwoo, giving him his puppy eyes, giggling when Hyunwoo bent down to peck the tip of his nose.

“Alright, alright. But if you got sick because of this, don’t cry to me and whine, okay? I’ve told you, but you never listen.”

“I won’t, Hyunwoo. I won’t.”

But, he did. Just a week after he ate burger with Hyunwoo, he got sick. He had a high fever and he couldn’t stop coughing. He was sprawling in bed, not able to do anything, even to notify Hyunwoo, which now was having a business trip out of the city. Kihyun took his phone away from him, not wanting him to get distracted by all messages he received.

“I promise I will tell you if something important is up immediately. Now you should sleep. Maybe it’s a good thing that you’re sick so that you can take a rest,” Kihyun said as he put a fever pad on Minhyuk’s forehead. “I’ll cook you something. You like my egg porridge, don’t you? I’ll cook it for you.”

“I’m not hungry. I don’t want to eat,” Minhyuk whined like a child. “I want to cuddle. Kihyun, where’s Hyunwoo? I need him.”

“You said yourself that he has a business trip. He won’t be here until the next three days.”

Maybe it was because of the fever. Maybe Minhyuk wouldn’t remember what he said, but right now, he felt like he would die if Hyunwoo didn’t come as soon as possible. He wanted to be in the man’s embrace; he missed Hyunwoo’s sweet kisses. The thought that he should spend his three days without Hyunwoo saddened him, and he wanted to cry.

And, he did cry.

He didn’t care that he made Kihyun get all panicky. He didn’t listen to what Kihyun said. He appreciated Kihyun’s effort to cheer him up, but he couldn’t help it. Minhyuk always got whiny when he was sick, and if he didn’t get what he really, really wanted, he would just bawl like a little baby.

“Oh god,” Kihyun massaged his temple; it looked like he started getting a headache only from his roommate’s behavior. “I’ll try to contact him, okay? Don’t cry. Hyunwoo wouldn’t want to meet you if you kept crying like this.”

Kihyun should’ve known what he just said would only make Minhyuk cry even louder.

If only killing your own best friend was legal.

“I’ll call him! I’ll call him and tell him to come home this very moment because his baby would run out of tears if he didn’t, but now you should sleep, okay? Sleep!”

It was true that it was because of the fever. It was also true that Minhyuk didn’t remember what had happened when he was sick. He woke up the next morning, feeling better and fresher, even though he still coughed and had a runny nose. He looked confused the moment he opened his eyes because there was a broad chest that looked so familiar pressing against his face.

“… Hyunwoo?”

Minhyuk’s bed was small, enough for one person, but of course too small for two, especially when the other one was someone as tall and well-built as Hyunwoo. He wondered how Hyunwoo could stuff himself in such a tiny bed without squeezing Minhyuk.

Hyunwoo was fast asleep. He was wearing his dress shirt, the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and the two buttons on the top were unbuttoned. There was a small suitcase at the corner of the room, telling Minhyuk that Hyunwoo went straight to his place right after he landed back to the city. Why did Hyunwoo come home earlier than the plan, though? It was still Wednesday, and according to the plan, Hyunwoo should be home on Friday. So, why was he here now?

“Don’t wake him up,” God knows since when Kihyun had been in the room, bringing a glass of warm water. “He arrived at three this morning, all drained.”

Minhyuk wriggled out of Hyunwoo’s arms, taking the water from Kihyun’s hand. “Why is he here? He had a business trip; he shouldn’t have been here at least until Friday.”

“You don’t remember?” Kihyun cocked an eyebrow. “You were crying nonstop yesterday, forcing me to call him and tell him to go home. I didn’t know he would really book a flight even though it was in the middle of the night and fly here.”

The redhead looked at Kihyun in disbelief. He took a minute or two to recall everything happened yesterday. The fever made every moment feel like a weird dream, including the moment when he was crying. “I thought it was a dream,” he muttered.

“It wasn’t,” Kihyun sighed. He then reached out and placed his palm on Minhyuk’s forehead to check Minhyuk’s temperature. “You’re still a bit warm. Are you feeling dizzy?”

Minhyuk shook his head. “But I’m hungry.”

The shorter boy scoffed. “Of course you are. You barely ate yesterday,” he said. “Come out whenever you’re ready; I made you chicken soup.”

Minhyuk nodded and muttered a soft “thank you, Ki” before Kihyun went outside. When the door was closed, he landed his eyes on Hyunwoo’s sleeping face, fingers finding their way to the black strands, stroking it gently.

Bending down to kiss Hyunwoo on the cheek, the boy whispered, “Thank you for coming for me.”

Pink dust spread on Minhyuk’s cheeks. Deep inside his heart, something warm grew.

+

The warmth in his heart spread from a tiny spot into something bigger. Minhyuk, familiar with the sensation, knew what it was, and it scared him a bit. He wasn’t supposed to develop such feelings for Hyunwoo; it would only bring a mess.

That Saturday, Hyunwoo gave him a surprise by showing up at the café during his shift time, which was around 5 PM. Hyunwoo acted like a normal customer, pretending like he didn’t know Minhyuk (Minhyuk guessed because he didn’t want to make a scene since people would see it weird if someone like Minhyuk knew a handsome man who came with a sleek, expensive car), but the boy caught a glimpse of playful sparks on the older male’s eyes.

“One large peach smoothie, please,” Hyunwoo ordered, and Minhyuk couldn’t hold his smile. Peach smoothie was his favorite, not Hyunwoo’s, but Hyunwoo ordered it instead of his daily dose of caffeine, as though the latter wanted to show him that he remembered his favorite beverage.

“Someone like him should go to a fancy restaurant rather than spending his time in our cheap café, don’t you think?” Dasom, Minhyuk’s co-worker, whispered to him when Hyunwoo had taken a seat at one of the tables, busying himself with his tablet (Minhyuk bet he was working right now, checking here and there, even on weekends). “I wonder what made him visit this place.”

Dasom seemed to still want to chit-chat, but their manager cleared his throat, telling them not to talk when working, the only thing that could make Dasom shut her mouth and go back to her spot behind the cashier. Minhyuk sighed in relief; it wasn’t like he didn’t want to talk with Dasom—the girl was always fun to talk with and he enjoyed her company—but he was afraid something about his relationship with Hyunwoo would slip out. He knew himself; he didn’t know what he was doing when he got too excited.

Hyunwoo’s presence at their café made Minhyuk feel more energized, but he was disappointed when Hyunwoo suddenly got up and exited the shop. He got into his car, and soon, the vehicle left the small parking lot. It was fifteen minutes before Minhyuk’s shift ended, and Minhyuk thought Hyunwoo would wait for him. But, no; Hyunwoo didn’t even spare a glance at him before leaving.

However, it seemed that Hyunwoo didn’t leave just like that. It was when Minhyuk’s shifted had ended and Minhyuk walked down the street when he saw the sleek, black car Hyunwoo owned parked a few blocks away from where he worked, where the surrounding was less crowded. Minhyuk smiled widely when he knocked on the window and Hyunwoo opened it, and Minhyuk’s heart throbbed when he saw a warm smile on that handsome face.

“Hop in,” Hyunwoo said as he unlocked the door.

“I thought you left just like that,” Minhyuk wanted to sound like he was sulking, but he couldn’t hide the happiness in his tone. “You didn’t even greet me. Meanie.”

“I don’t want your pretty co-worker to bombard you with questions,” The CEO leaned in and, as usual, kissed Minhyuk on the cheek before he started driving. “She had her eyes on me all the time. I would lie if I said I didn’t feel it piercing my skin.”

Minhyuk laughed. “She was interested in you. Can’t blame her, you’re indeed handsome.”

“You wouldn’t want me if I wasn’t.”

“You’re handsome and you don’t think with your dick; that’s what made me want you.”

Hyunwoo chuckled. He rubbed Minhyuk’s head before pulling the boy closer, pressing his lips on the boy’s crown. He didn’t let go after that; he had his arm around Minhyuk’s shoulders, keeping the auburn-haired boy close to him.

It was something Hyunwoo had done repeatedly, and Minhyuk should’ve gotten used to it. He should’ve gotten used to the hugs, the kisses, the sweet nothings Hyunwoo always had for him. His heart shouldn’t have beat this fast because he was sure that everything Hyunwoo did to him was only a matter of business.

Minhyuk shouldn’t have let himself have this kind of feelings. He knew how it would end up if Hyunwoo found out. This was not what the man wanted from him. Hyunwoo wanted a good company, someone who could cuddle him to sleep and cook him lunch. Hyunwoo didn’t want love. Hyunwoo didn’t need love, at least not from a broke student like Minhyuk.

For a brief moment, Minhyuk’s expression turned into a sad one. He was this close to Hyunwoo. He could hug Hyunwoo and the man wouldn’t even mind it. He could ask for money, hugs, and kisses. He could say that he wanted to be babied, and Hyunwoo would baby him, treating him like a rare diamond. Wasn’t it why he had a contract with Hyunwoo, to get what he needed and give Hyunwoo what the man wanted from him in return? It should’ve been enough. He shouldn’t ask for more.

Sometimes he hated himself for falling in love so easily. Even though he knew Hyunwoo’s affection didn’t mean love, he still fell for the man. He couldn’t stop the feeling from blooming. The warmth Hyunwoo had for him was intoxicating, and he only wanted to swim deeper into it, which he shouldn’t. But, he did, and now he should carry the consequences.

“What do you want to eat tonight?” Hyunwoo’s voice broke his train of thoughts.

“Hmm?” Minhyuk muttered as he pulled away from Hyunwoo and leaned against the passenger seat. “I don’t know. Don’t feel like eating anything.”

Hearing that, a frown appeared on Hyunwoo’s face. “Are you feeling sick? You got a fever again?” he asked worriedly. He palmed Minhyuk’s forehead, exhaling softly. “You’re not having a fever.”

“I’m not,” The boy huffed. “Just not feeling like eating. Maybe I’m just tired.”

“Well,” The CEO glanced at Minhyuk before focusing back on the street. He stroked Minhyuk’s cheek with the back of his hand as he spoke, “let’s head to my place and do a movie marathon. We can order something if you’re hungry later. Sounds like a good idea?”

I just want to sleep and forget this stupid feeling I have for you, Minhyuk thought, but of course, he couldn’t say it out loud. “Sure. Let’s do it.”

They reached Hyunwoo’s apartment within twenty minutes. Hyunwoo told Minhyuk to shower first while he made popcorn (he preferred making it himself rather than heating microwave popcorn), and Minhyuk could just comply.

It only took Minhyuk five minutes to finish showering, but he spent more on standing in front of the sink, thinking. He’d never thought that he would not like to see his stuff in Hyunwoo’s penthouse. Before he realized his feeling, he would just smile when he saw his toothbrush sitting side by side with Hyunwoo’s, his towel hanging next to Hyunwoo’s, his soap and shampoo placed along with Hyunwoo’s. He would think that the bathroom looked like a couple’s bathroom, and he would chuckle at it.

Right now, it had become a burden. There would be a time where Hyunwoo would throw his things away, cleaning up the bathroom from Minhyuk’s presence. Thinking about it made Minhyuk’s chest clench.

+

“Your mind is pretty occupied lately.”

Minhyuk only hummed. They were snuggling on Hyunwoo’s couch, Minhyuk’s head on the man’s broad shoulder. On the boy’s lap was Moong, busy licking his tiny paw (Hyunwoo let Minhyuk bring the pup because Minhyuk felt like he had abandoned Moong and made the pug sad that Minhyuk should do something to cheer his little baby up). They were watching a movie Minhyuk picked, but Hyunwoo noticed that Minhyuk didn’t have his focus on the movie, and this time wasn’t the first time.

“What were you thinking about?”

Minhyuk was thinking of Hyunwoo; he barely thought about anything else. He was thinking about having a domestic life with Hyunwoo as his lover, not sugar daddy. He was thinking about living with Hyunwoo. He was thinking about telling the world how he was in love with Hyunwoo and wanting to be with the man until the end of his time. He was thinking about everything Hyunwoo shouldn’t know, and it tortured him.

“Baby?”

A finger curled under his chin and brought his face up, eyes meeting Hyunwoo’s dark orbs. Hyunwoo looked a little tired, but it was all covered by the worried expression he had. Minhyuk wanted to swear. Hyunwoo’s care always felt so genuine and sometimes, it just made Minhyuk want to cry and beg for more—for love.

“I wasn’t thinking of anything,” Minhyuk answered, trying to sound convincing. “I was only daydreaming.”

Hyunwoo, though, didn’t seem convinced. “You’ve had that face for a while,” the older man said. “Like you want to say something, but you can’t.”

“I’m just tired, I guess. Life’s hard for everyone, including me,” Minhyuk didn’t intend to sound harsh, but his tone indeed sounded like he was grumping. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before giving a reassuring smile to Hyunwoo. “But I’m okay. Don’t worry.”

There was a moment of silence before Hyunwoo spoke again, “You know, when you have that troubled face,” He reached for Minhyuk’s cheek, thumb caressing the soft skin, “I feel like kissing you until whatever negative thoughts you have in your little head go away.”

Hyunwoo loved smothering him with kisses, but it was never on the lips. This night was the first, and Minhyuk’s stomach churned. He couldn’t decide whether he was happy or afraid when the plump lips caught his rosy ones into a soft, lazy kiss. He couldn’t decide whether he loved or hated it. He wanted to push away, but at the same time, he wanted to kiss back deeper, letting his mind lost in the warm, sweet taste.

Everything confused him that he cried.

Moong jumped off of his lap when Hyunwoo shifted even closer, deepening the kiss. He growled lowly, as though he was protesting that Hyunwoo had disturbed his busyness (licking his tiny paws). The pup went to the bedroom (he sure would like to have Hyunwoo’s huge bed all for himself), leaving Minhyuk with Hyunwoo, who pulled away when Minhyuk started sobbing.

“Minhyuk?!” Hyunwoo panicked. He wiped the tears, but it kept coming, so he chose to hug the poor boy instead. “Baby, what’s wrong? Do you—do you not like it? The kiss? I’m sorry, baby, I won’t do it again.”

Minhyuk shook his head furiously. That was not it. He liked the kiss—he loved it. He loved it so much that he was scared that Hyunwoo would find out the feeling he had kept secret for the man. He was too afraid that Hyunwoo would leave him. It wasn’t about losing someone who would support him financially; it was about losing someone he loved dearly.

The boy clung onto the CEO, fingers gripping on the back of Hyunwoo’s shirt tightly, not wanting to let go. He was still sobbing, but Hyunwoo’s arms around him, the gentle pats on his head managed to calm him down a little. It took him a while to completely stop crying, and he squirmed out of Hyunwoo’s embrace.

“Sorry,” His voice was hoarse, and he hated it. “Everything’s been… confusing lately. I’m okay. I just need some rest.”

Hyunwoo looked concerned, but he didn’t push Minhyuk to tell him everything, and Minhyuk was grateful for it. The man opened his arms, welcoming Minhyuk to go back into his protective arms. Minhyuk scooted close—just for this one time, he wanted to forget about all of his insecurities and feel safe in Hyunwoo’s warmth.

+

It was Sunday morning when Minhyuk went home. He promised Hyunwoo that he would be back with a lunchbox and peach water with jelly, but for a moment, he needed his time alone. Hyunwoo offered to drive him home, but he turned it down politely, not wanting to hurt Hyunwoo’s feeling.

Kihyun had been awake when he arrived. He looked surprised to see Minhyuk coming, knowing that usually, Minhyuk would be home in the afternoon only to get ready for his shift at the café, and he wouldn’t be seen until the next day. Minhyuk wasn’t practically living with him anymore ever since he started his sugar relationship with Hyunwoo.

(Kihyun kind of missed his roommate, but he would never admit it.)

“You’re home,” Kihyun stated as Minhyuk entered the kitchen.

“I am,” Minhyuk muttered. He approached Kihyun, looking what his friend was doing. “What’s for breakfast?”

“I didn’t know you would come home this morning, so I only made fried rice for me and Hyungwon,” the shorter guy answered. “But I can make something for you. What do you want?”

“Something sweet,” Minhyuk put his chin on Kihyun’s shoulder, nuzzling his head into his roommate’s neck. “Pancakes. I want your pancakes.”

Kihyun didn’t even need to see how troubled Minhyuk’s face was. He’d known Minhyuk long enough to know that something bad was up. “Are you having a lover’s quarrel with Hyunwoo?” he asked.

“Hyunwoo and I aren’t even lovers.”

“Yeah, but you can’t say that there is no love in your relationship with him.”

“Smart ass.”

“I’m not a smart ass, I just know you better than anyone,” Kihyun pushed Minhyuk away when he needed to get plates for the fried rice. “The last time you snuggled to me is when you broke up with Hoseok. You just snuggled to me, means you have a love issue again, am I right?”

Minhyuk pouted; he hated it when Kihyun was right. He huffed and released his arms from around Kihyun’s shorter (yet thicker) body. He sat at the dining table and slouched onto the wooden surface, sighing rather loudly. “I’ve messed up,” he whined. “Hyunwoo will leave me sooner or later.”

“Sugar relationship doesn’t last forever, does it? It’s normal if one of you wants to end the relationship.”

Minhyuk sighed even louder because once again, Kihyun was right. But, it wasn’t what he wanted. Maybe it was what he wanted at first, but now he couldn’t even imagine how his life would be without Hyunwoo.

“I hate this,” Laying his face flat on the table, Minhyuk wailed. “I hate unrequited love.”

“So little puppy is falling for the rich CEO?” Another voice joined their conversation; Minhyuk didn’t need to see to know that it was Hyungwon’s voice.

“Shut up,” the redhead groaned.

“Told you, bae,” Hyungwon said to Kihyun as he took Moong, that was scratching his shank, wanting to be picked up, to his lap, petting the puppy’s small head. “He’d fall. It happened.”

Kihyun put two plates of fried rice on the table. “Yeah, but I told you that Hyunwoo might fall for him, too,” he said calmly. “We don’t know that yet, but there’s a possibility. He left his business trip only because this brat cried and wanted him to come. If I were a sugar daddy, I wouldn’t leave my important work for my sugar baby.”

Minhyuk’s ears perked. He raised his head, eyes locking on Kihyun immediately. “What do you mean there’s a possibility?” he asked. “Wasn’t he just that nice to people he liked?”

“I wouldn’t want to sacrifice my time for someone that only means business to me,” Kihyun said again as he started mixing the pancakes batter for Minhyuk. “He’s a gentleman, but coming here in the middle of the night, even though he knew you only caught a cold and would be okay in the next day is another thing.”

Minhyuk fell silent. He didn’t want to think of any possibilities of Hyunwoo having a special feeling for him, but hearing Kihyun, his chest couldn’t help but become full of hope. It would be wonderful if what Kihyun said was true, but if it wasn’t, Minhyuk would be torn into pieces. The pain would be doubled, and he wasn’t ready for it.

“Don’t make me expect anything from him, Ki.”

“You already did.”

Minhyuk puffed his cheeks.

Oh, how he hated it when Kihyun was right.

+

Minhyuk was awake before Hyunwoo. It was Sunday, which meant he had nothing to do until his shift at the café started at 6 PM. Usually, he would use his free time to sleep until Hyunwoo woke him up, but today he didn’t know why he woke up way earlier than he normally did.

Hyunwoo would get up in about half an hour. The man was an early bird, never skipping his morning routine. He would make breakfast for them both after that—a warm chocolate milk and a stack of sweet pancakes for Minhyuk, and a cup of coffee with cinnamon toast for himself (“I need my morning coffee, or else I’d be cranky all day,” was what he told Minhyuk, who once tried to stop his morning coffee habit).

Slipping out from Hyunwoo’s warm embrace, Minhyuk went outside to get something to eat because his stomach started grumbling even though it was still early in the morning. He opened the fridge and took a red apple, munching the flesh of the juicy fruit. He then opened the door to the balcony, shivering when the morning breeze stroked his body. It was cold, but he liked how the wind woke every sense in his body up.

The city was slowly waking up beneath his feet. The sun hasn’t yet risen, but cars had filled the road one by one. Minhyuk wondered where they would go in the Sunday morning. It was barely five; they should’ve stayed in their beds instead of going somewhere. But of course, people had their own businesses. They might want to go for a short holiday with their families, or they might need to go to the airport for something important.

How many people in this city had been awake? How many people were staring at the other people and wondered what those people would do, like Minhyuk?

For a moment, Minhyuk was lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t realize that Hyunwoo was standing behind him. He made a soft gasp when Hyunwoo sneaked his strong arms around Minhyuk’s slim body, bringing him back to the comfortable warmth.

“You woke up early,” Hyunwoo pressed his lips against Minhyuk’s shoulder. “What are you doing here, baby?”

“Wondering,” Minhyuk answered. He rested his head on Hyunwoo’s neck, nuzzling there. “I’m wondering why those people woke up this early; where are they going with their fancy cars?”

“Somewhere that isn’t our business?” The CEO took the apple from Minhyuk’s hand, taking a big bite of it. He didn’t say anything for a while, only staring at nothing until he once again spoke, “She was like you, too—waking up early only to have some random thoughts about people, about life.”

Minhyuk looked up to Hyunwoo, finding the man’s gaze softened. “She…?”

“Yebin,” Hyunwoo answered shortly, “my ex-wife.”

Hyunwoo never talked about his ex-wife except for the one time when Minhyuk first came to his apartment, and Minhyuk never asked him about it, afraid that it would make the man feel uncomfortable. Now that Minhyuk had realized his feeling for Hyunwoo, he didn’t want to hear the story about her, but why did Hyunwoo suddenly bring up the topic?

“She was fun and smart, just like you. And she was very beautiful. Too bad, the first man she should be married to was me. She could find someone better.”

Minhyuk knew that Hyunwoo never had feelings for his ex-wife, but the flame of jealousy still burned his heart. The way Hyunwoo said the name was so soft, so gentle, and it hurt Minhyuk. He didn’t want Hyunwoo to be that gentle to anyone else but him, and he hated it. He hated how his mind tried to get him monopolizing Hyunwoo when he knew this relationship was nothing but an arrangement.

“Did you regret it?” Minhyuk was relieved that his voice wasn’t quivering. “Your marriage, did you regret it?”

“Maybe? I regretted hurting her. She didn’t deserve all the pain I’d caused. But I didn’t regret having a divorce. That way she could have a better life. Needless to say, she was thankful for our decision.”

“You seem to care a lot about her.”

“I did care about her. I didn’t love her, but that doesn’t mean I would just abandon her without thinking about how she would live. She was still my wife no matter what, and I didn’t want to be in a bad term with her, even after we divorced,” Hyunwoo pulled away from Minhyuk; the sun had almost risen, and he had been late for his morning routine. He left a kiss on the back of Minhyuk’s head before walking back inside, but then he stopped midway only to say, “You sounded like you’re jealous, baby.”

Minhyuk froze. “Why should I be jealous of your ex-wife? It’s your past relationship,” The boy tried to sound nonchalant. “Moreover, we’re nothing but sugar daddy and sugar baby. I shouldn’t be jealous.”

Hyunwoo chuckled. “I’d be glad if you were jealous, though.”

Minhyuk didn’t know what it meant.

+

They went to stargaze tonight. Hyunwoo took him out of town, to a villa his parents and he used to go when he was still a boy. There was a hill near the villa, and Hyunwoo said he often visited the place at night only to enjoy the ocean of stars above his head.

Minhyuk ran up the hill while Hyunwoo took his time to follow, bringing a mat with him. Minhyuk’s eyes were gleaming when he looked at the sky and found a blanket of stars twinkling beautifully. It wasn’t only that; from the hill, he could see the small town’s lights blinking just like the stars up above. It was something that he couldn’t find in the city where he lived; he didn’t even remember when he last witnessed something as mesmerizing as this.

“Come here, Min,” Hyunwoo called him once the man had reached the top of the hill and rolled out the mat. He then lay there, waiting for Minhyuk to join him.

“This is so beautiful,” said Minhyuk as he rested his head on top of Hyunwoo’s bicep.

“You like it here?”

The boy nodded. “It’s a little bit cold here, but it’s worth the stars.”

Minhyuk whined when Hyunwoo pulled his arm from underneath his head but stopped when he realized that Hyunwoo took off his sweater for him to wear.

“I told you to wear something warmer; a long-sleeved shirt wouldn’t be enough for your tiny body,” Hyunwoo said, handing Minhyuk the turtleneck sweater. He chuckled when Minhyuk wore it; it was definitely too big for Minhyuk’s body, though Minhyuk looked very cute with his hands hidden in the too long sleeves.

Minhyuk’s nose was buried under the turtleneck, and every time Minhyuk breathed, he could smell Hyunwoo’s scent. Even the nice odor managed to make Minhyuk’s heart skip a beat faster, showing how deep Minhyuk had fallen for the man and everything in him. “Your sweater smells good,” he muttered, making a smile appear on Hyunwoo’s face.

“Does that mean I smell good?”

Minhyuk was blushing at his own answer. “You do.”

Hyunwoo laughed lightly at that but didn’t say anything in return. He looked up at the dark sky, eyes gazing at the thousand stars. Silence fell between those two, and for a moment, Minhyuk felt at peace. He could only hear the sounds of nature, the gentle breeze, and his own breath that matched the pace of Hyunwoo’s. For a moment, Minhyuk felt his life was perfect.

It was when Minhyuk leaned his head on Hyunwoo’s shoulder when Hyunwoo spoke up again. “When I was still a boy, I always told my parents that I would bring someone I wanted to marry. After it, I would bring my little family here; my wife and my children. I told them I wanted to have two children, a boy and a girl,” he said while slipping his fingers through Minhyuk’s silky strands, stroking the auburn hair. “When I married Yebin, I thought I would love her in the end. I thought I would take her here, telling her all my dreams when I was a kid.”

Minhyuk’s face fell. Hyunwoo didn’t realize it; he kept on going with his story about his ex-wife, not knowing that Minhyuk was holding the pain that was growing rapidly on his chest. He tried his best not to let a single tear fall down his cheeks—no, he couldn’t worry Hyunwoo anymore. He bit his lower lip, swallowing back the sobs that were threatening to slip through his lips.

“Have you ever considered marrying again, Hyunwoo?” The question left a bitter taste in his tongue. “You can’t leave alone like this forever, can you?”

“I’m thinking about it, but I’ve learned not to let my parents set me up with anyone again,” Hyunwoo chuckled, not aware that it hurt Minhyuk even more. “They never say it out loud, but I know they wait for me to bring good news to them. I guess they’re worried that I will end up with no one beside me; without my own family. Also, just like other parents in the world, they want to have grandchildren already.”

Even the twinkling stars couldn’t comfort Minhyuk’s broken heart. What Hyunwoo told him, what Hyunwoo wanted for his life; he could never give it to the man. It was something that was out of his reach, and he could do nothing to fix it. Hyunwoo’s parents wouldn’t want to have him in their family. Hyunwoo wouldn’t want to have him in his life. He couldn’t bear a child; he couldn’t give Hyunwoo’s parents grandchildren they’d been longing for. He wasn’t the right one for Hyunwoo to love.

A trembling sigh found its way out, too soft to be heard, but enough to tell how hard Minhyuk held back his tears. He closed his eyes. What was he thinking? Even if he could give children to Hyunwoo, the man would never love him back. He was no one to Hyunwoo, only someone the man found on an online site, someone he paid to be a good company. Their relationship was under an arrangement, no matter how much affection Hyunwoo always had for him.

“Are you sleepy?”

Minhyuk’s eyes fluttered open. “Not really.”

“Really? I thought my story bored you that you got sleepy.”

“You never make me bored,” Minhyuk forced a happy smile to form on his lips as he shifted to circle his thin arms around Hyunwoo’s waist. “The only thing that made me sleepy is you stroking my hair. It was too comforting.”

Hyunwoo massaged Minhyuk’s scalp gently as he said, “You’re like a puppy, so cute.”

“I thought I was like a baby,” Minhyuk put his chin on top of Hyunwoo’s shoulder, grinning. He squealed when Hyunwoo pinched his nose playfully before taking the big hand, placing it on his own cheek. “You’re warm, Hyunwoo.”

“And you’re getting cold,” Hyunwoo tucked Minhyuk’s head under his chin. “Maybe we should get inside; it’s chilly here.”

But, Minhyuk refused to go. He shook his head as he tightened his arms around Hyunwoo. “Let’s stay here for a little bit more,” he murmured. “I wish I could have this moment forever.”

“I will take you here whenever you want to,” said the CEO. “You only need to tell me.”

“The next time you come here, it should be with your loved one.”

Hyunwoo rubbed his cheek against Minhyuk’s hair before burying his nose into the soft strands. “Who knows, baby,” he whispered. “Who knows.”

+

Minhyuk closed the lid of his Elmo lunch box before stuffing it into his backpack along with the usual bottle of peach water and jelly. It was almost twelve, which meant he should hurry to deliver the lunch for Hyunwoo. He made chicken salad; this was the third time this week because Hyunwoo seemed to like it a lot that he kept asking for the same menu every day.

“Are you going?” Kihyun asked; he didn’t have any classes today, so he just lazed around at home.

“Yeah,” Minhyuk answered. He carried his backpack and sighed.

It was hard to meet Hyunwoo lately. After Hyunwoo’s story about his childhood dreams on the hill that night, it felt harder for Minhyuk to face the CEO. The more he thought about it, the more he felt like he shouldn’t continue his relationship with Hyunwoo. The man should be with someone he loved right now, someone who could fulfill all his dreams.

“Are you coming home tonight?” Kihyun asked again, but he didn’t move his eyes from the movie on TV. “If not, Hyungwon wanted to come.”

“He would come even if I didn’t go anywhere,” The redhead scoffed. “I’m staying with Hyunwoo tonight. He’s going for a business trip again tomorrow, so he wants to spend tonight with me.”

Minhyuk didn’t want to wait for Kihyun’s comment. He exited his small shared apartment and went outside, grabbing his bike and immediately heading to Hyunwoo’s office.

Hyunwoo’s secretary, Ms. Kang, smiled when she saw Minhyuk coming. “Mr. Son is having a special guest,” she said in a friendly manner. “Since you’re his nephew, I bet you’ve known who she is. Do you want to meet her? I think it’s okay if you go inside; they wouldn’t mind.”

Of course, since he wasn’t actually Hyunwoo’s nephew, he wouldn’t know who the ‘she’ Ms. Kang meant was. However, to keep the secret safe, Minhyuk nodded and stepped inside when the secretary knocked the door and opened it for him once she got her boss’ permission.

There was a woman Minhyuk had never seen before when he entered Hyunwoo’s room. She was beautiful; she had a soft and motherly expression and a pair of gentle eyes. She looked surprised when she saw Minhyuk, but smiled nonetheless.

Minhyuk’s eyes then moved from the woman to a baby in Hyunwoo’s arms. It was a baby girl, Minhyuk assumed, since she wore all soft pink clothes. The baby was sleeping, chubby hands gripping on both of Hyunwoo’s shoulders.

And Hyunwoo, the CEO patted the baby’s back gently, lulling her to a deeper sleep. He looked like a father, and it made Minhyuk lost in his mind. The thoughts of how Hyunwoo would be a perfect parent, and how he would, in the end, have his little family with a loving wife and two cute children filled Minhyuk’s head and, god, say he was selfish, but he didn’t want to see it. He would never be ready for it.

“Minhyuk,” Hyunwoo’s low voice called his name, and Minhyuk hated how he loved the deep voice of the older man. “You’re here.”

“Um,” Minhyuk fidgeted, “Ms. Kang let me in. She said it was okay to go inside.”

“Yes, yes, it’s alright. Come here, let me introduce you two,” The man said with a bright smile, maybe brighter than the smile Minhyuk had ever seen before. “Minhyuk, this is Yebin. I’ve told you about her before. And Yebin,” There were different sparks when Hyunwoo looked at the woman, and Minhyuk’s heart sank, “this is Minhyuk, my…” A pause, “… nephew.”

Minhyuk wanted to laugh. Of course, in front of everyone, Minhyuk would only be a nephew. Hyunwoo wouldn’t tell anyone that he had a sugar baby. He had a reputation to maintain. And right now, maybe he would have a new life to start.

Yebin smiled sweetly as she reached out, waiting for Minhyuk to shake her hand. “You have a cute nephew here,” she said. “It’s nice to meet you, Minhyuk.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” It was a miracle that Minhyuk didn’t stutter, remembering how emotions started to take over his mind.

Suddenly, the baby in Hyunwoo’s arms woke up and started crying. Hyunwoo was startled that he quickly comforted the baby girl, but the baby just kept crying. He threw a look at Yebin, who only laughed at the man’s confusion. She took her daughter from Hyunwoo, and slowly, the baby stopped wailing.

“I don’t think I’m ready to have a baby myself in this case,” Hyunwoo laughed. He took the baby’s tiny hand, and the baby gripped his index finger, causing the man’s gaze to soften.

“She likes you, though,” Yebin pecked the baby’s rosy cheek. “She slept in your arms. It’s something new. You can be a good father.”

“Is that so?” Hyunwoo bent down to the baby’s level. “You like me, hmm?”

As though she was answering the question, the baby girl squealed as she stretched her chubby hand, hitting Hyunwoo’s jaw lightly. She laughed cutely when Hyunwoo kissed her head, making her mother and the CEO beam at the cuteness.

Sadly, no one realized that Minhyuk could only witness the happy moment with a heavy heart. Hyunwoo was so good at handling kids, and Minhyuk was certain that he would make a perfect father for his future children—the children Minhyuk could never give, even if Hyunwoo chose him to be his partner in life.

“Oh, anyway,” Yebin looked at the watch on her wrist, “I should go now. I promise my mom to pick her up for lunch. I think I’m a bit late.”

“I’ll take you to the lobby,” Hyunwoo quickly said. He then moved to Minhyuk, patting the boy’s shoulder once. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Minhyuk nodded weakly. He waved back when Yebin bid a goodbye, but he didn’t utter a word to her. He stared at how Hyunwoo opened the door for his ex-wife as a gentleman he was. Hyunwoo’s eyes were softer than usual, especially when he interacted with Yebin’s daughter, which made Minhyuk think that Hyunwoo must love children.

The redhead sighed when Hyunwoo’s and Yebin’s voices faded behind the glass doors. He slumped into the chair, feeling all weak and hopeless. He wanted to cry, he really did, but he couldn’t. Maybe he was too tired to cry, or maybe he had been so sick of his unrequited feelings that he just wanted to end everything. Maybe it would be the best option, or else he would only hurt himself even more.

A sound of the door open caused Minhyuk to turn around. Hyunwoo entered the room, a soft smile forming on his face. He approached the boy and bent down to peck the cheek, just like the usual.

“I’m sorry for making you wait,” Hyunwoo apologized. He touched Minhyuk’s jaw with the back of his hand, giving it a light stroke. “Are you hungry? Let’s eat, hmm?”

“It’s fine,” Minhyuk said as he handed the lunchbox and the bottle of peach water. “I’m not really hungry. I’ll eat later.”

Hyunwoo opened the box, looking satisfied only with the sight of his favorite food of the week. But then, he moved his gaze to Minhyuk, worries flashing in his eyes. “You don’t eat much lately, do you realize that?” The CEO’s tone was full of concern. “You said it yourself that lunch is important, but you rarely take one nowadays. Are you okay, baby?”

“I’m okay,” Minhyuk beamed, trying to reassure his sugar daddy. He just hoped Hyunwoo wouldn’t catch the sadness in his smile.

If he wanted to end it soon, at least he should show how happy he was whenever he was with Hyunwoo. No, Hyunwoo shouldn’t see his sorrow.

+

Minhyuk ended it. Maybe he was a coward for not saying it right on Hyunwoo’s face. He couldn’t—he was sure he would cry if he did. It was morning when he slipped out of Hyunwoo’s warm embrace. He didn’t even wake Hyunwoo up, only leaving a piece of paper with his last message for the man.

The morning breeze felt like needles piercing into his skin when he walked to the nearest bus stop. The first bus would come at 5, which was less than ten minutes. No one was there when Minhyuk reached the bus stop; the iron bench felt so cold when he took a seat.

Minhyuk sent a text to Kihyun, telling him that he would be home in half an hour and begging his roommate not to go anywhere today, and he sighed afterward. It was a tough decision to end his relationship with Hyunwoo like this. Hyunwoo might be confused and worried, but Minhyuk was certain that he would do alright. Minhyuk wasn’t the first sugar baby he had, also definitely not the first who left him. Hyunwoo might find another baby after this, or maybe he would settle down with someone, building his own dream family.

Hyunwoo would be just fine without Minhyuk.

But how about you? You won’t be fine without him, a sound in his head said.

Minhyuk knew that. It wasn’t his first heartbroken, and he knew he always had difficulties in coping with his broken heart. The last time he broke up with his boyfriend, a guy named Shin Hoseok, he was crying for days; he couldn’t be left alone that Kihyun should be there for him almost all the time. It hurt that time, but this time it was even a lot more painful, even though Hyunwoo wasn’t really his boyfriend.

Why, he asked himself. Why does it hurt a lot?

Maybe because you’ve fallen even deeper than what you thought, the voice in him answered. Maybe because you love him more than you’ve ever done to anyone else.

The bus came right when Minhyuk’s phone buzzed. Minhyuk felt the tight knot in his chest growing more intense. He didn’t even see the caller’s ID, but he knew who it was. His phone kept buzzing a few times during his way home, making him scoff bitterly because Hyunwoo was quite persistent. Hyunwoo deserved an explanation, but Minhyuk didn’t have enough strength to do it.

Later on, Kihyun’s face greeted him when he opened his apartment door. Kihyun had known him long enough not to attack him with questions. Instead, he had a glass of warm chocolate milk with him, which he gave to Minhyuk in hope it would help calm his friend down. He led the poor boy to the couch, where Hyungwon was sitting, small, understanding smile curling on the thick lips.

“Does puppy need a hug?” Not like his usual teasing tone, Hyungwon sounded so comforting this time. He opened his arms, waiting for Minhyuk to come into his embrace.

“If Kihyun killed me, it’s all your fault,” Minhyuk muttered, but he scooted to lean on Hyungwon’s thinner body nonetheless.

“I’ll let you have us just for today,” Taking the half-empty glass from Minhyuk and putting it on the coffee table, Kihyun soon joined them. He squeezed his roommate between his and Hyungwon’s bodies, arms wrapping around Minhyuk’s waist. “It’s okay to be a complete mess. We’re here with you.”

“I just want to forget everything,” Minhyuk didn’t know when he started sobbing, but he did, and both Hyungwon and Kihyun tightened their hugs.

+

After a bunch of missed calls, tons of voice messages, and a flood of texts, Hyunwoo finally agreed. It was the next three days when Hyunwoo sent him a voice message, the last one, and the one Minhyuk repeated over and over because he just missed Hyunwoo’s voice so much.

“I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done to you,” Hyunwoo said in his message. “I’d like to meet you so we can discuss this first if you want, but I don’t want to force you. I’m sorry for disturbing you; I just wanted to talk. Call me if you want us to meet and talk it over, but if you think we’re over, let me thank you for everything. I’m going to miss your everything, Minhyuk. I hope I can see you again.”

Minhyuk never replied to it. He never called Hyunwoo back, and Hyunwoo never contacted him again. It hurt, so much hurt than he thought. He wanted to pull his heart out of his chest so bad because every pulse gave him a painful sting. He felt sad and empty; he couldn’t even sleep at night even though Kihyun was there to comfort him.

The first two weeks were hell. Minhyuk couldn’t concentrate at everything he did, earning himself scolds from whether his bosses or lecturers. All of his friends were worried, especially Kihyun, who had to witness how Minhyuk withered every day.

“You should call him,” Kihyun said one day. “You didn’t even let him say a word. This is a one-sided decision. You don’t even know what he thinks about you.”

“I know. He doesn’t love me. It’s obvious, Ki,” Sitting on the couch, Minhyuk pulled his legs up, chin resting in between his knees. “He wants a happy family. He wants children. I can’t give it to him. Even if we were together, he wouldn’t have what he has dreamed of all this time.”

“Still you should’ve listened to him first before deciding,” the brunet insisted; he joined Minhyuk on the couch, eyes on the TV screen though he didn’t really watch the show. “I don’t want to see you like this. Seeing you working your ass off was worse enough, but seeing you like this is the worst.”

“I just need more time to heal. This is not my first heartbreak, Ki, you know that.”

“Yeah, but you’ve never looked this pathetic before, even when you broke up with Hoseok,” Kihyun placed his hand on Minhyuk’s head, rubbing it gently, knowing his roommate liked it. “Hyunwoo cared for you a lot. He might have the same feelings as you have for him. You just didn’t give him a chance.”

Minhyuk shook his head. “He deserves someone better,” The voice slipping out from his lips was shaking. “I don’t deserve him. He’s too good to be true.”

Kihyun was about to open his mouth, but Minhyuk had stood up and walked into his room.

+

Minhyuk’s surrounding felt surreal. There were people and smokes. He couldn’t see anything clearly; he couldn’t think straight. It felt like he was in Wonderland, where he didn’t know whether it was a dream or a reality. His ears hurt by the loud noises that he didn’t know what—maybe it was a loud music, or maybe it was people screaming at him. The noises prevented him from hearing almost anything, but faintly, he could hear a sad song somewhere. He wanted to scream, telling whoever sang the sad song to stop.

That, until he realized that he was the one singing the song.

It all started with Jooheon’s advice when Minhyuk entered the locker room of the café with a gloomy face. “You should go to a club, get drunk, and have sex,” the younger boy said. “You look like shit, brother, and I believe what you need is a long, steamy night.”

It had been almost four months since he last met Hyunwoo. Slowly, he started getting a grip of himself, collecting his broken pieces one by one and gluing it back. However, that didn’t mean he had forgotten about Hyunwoo completely. Even though he had managed to be back to his normal rhythm of life, the misery didn’t go just like that. It was still visible in his eyes, even when he was laughing with his friends. Many had given him advice to survive his heartbreak, and Jooheon was one of them.

“I don’t drink, Honey,” Minhyuk said as he put his backpack in his locker. “I don’t have sex with a random person either.”

“You should try,” Jooheon convinced him, “At least just for one time. I always do it when I think my problem is bigger than me. I release every negative emotion I have, and the next day, I’m ready to face everything! All you need, Minhyuk, is something to forget what burdens you, even only for a night.”

Kihyun always said that Minhyuk should stay away from alcoholic drinks. His body tolerance was a tiny cup of soju; he might destroy something if he drank more than that. However, Jooheon might be right. He was tired of being sad and lonely all the time. He was tired of being unloved even though he knew his friends were always there for him. He needed something to forget Hyunwoo and his feelings for the man, and now Jooheon’s advice sounded tempting.

That was why he was here right now, in one of the bars in the city, more specifically on the table, using an empty glass as though it was a microphone, and singing a heartbreak song as loud as he could. He missed the look of Kihyun and Hyungwon, who tried to get him down. What was on his mind now was how to pour his sadness so that he could feel better, and singing loudly from the depth of his heart was the only thing he could think of.

“FIRST, YOU THINK THE WORST IS THE BROKEN HEAAART~”

“Minhyuk, come on, get down here!”

“WHAT’S GONNA KILL YOU IS THE SECOND PAAART~”

“Minhyuk, seriously—”

“AND THE THIRD IS WHEN YOUR WORLD SPLITS DOWN THE MIDDLEEE~”

“There’s no point of telling him to get down, bae, he’s goin’ through six degrees of separation.”

“There’s no way I will let him sing like a crazy dude like this—MINHYUK, GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!”

“SHUT UP, KIHYUN, LET ME SING!” Minhyuk was a sobbing mess, but he still sang. People started staring at him, some of them even walked closer to watch him, as though he was doing a show. Minhyuk couldn’t care less, though. “AND FOURTH, YOU’RE GONNA THINK THAT YOU FIXED YOURSEEELF, FIFTH”—He was choked by his own tears in this part—“YOU SEE THEM OUT WITH SOMEONE EEELSE~”

“Bae, he’s gonna reach the sixth degree soon. You’d better do something.”

+

There was a tug on his pants. Minhyuk ignored it. He kept singing—from Six Degrees of Separation to Where’d You Go, and then to so many, many sad songs until he went back to the first song, which seemed to be his favorite one. But, there was another tug, and another and another, until Minhyuk started being bothered by it.

“WHAT?!”

He couldn’t focus his eyes. Under the dim lights, he couldn’t see who was the one tugging his black jeans. Minhyuk rubbed his eyes, as though it could get him a clearer sight. “You ruined my concert,” he murmured between his sobs.

“You’ve sung enough for tonight, little one,” The familiar voice was heard, but Minhyuk couldn’t recall whose voice it was. “Come on, get here. We’re going home.”

“I’m not done!” Minhyuk roared. Now he sat on the table, crying uncontrollably. “My heart still hurts! Everything hurts! I need to take this sadness out of my chest! I want to sing until it’s not this painful anymore!”

“Enough is enough, baby.”

Minhyuk was confounded by the pet name. His wails turned into soft sobs, though the tears were still streaming down his cheeks. There was something thumping in his chest, something warm—something he had missed so much for these past four months. And with that, a name rolled from his tongue. “H-Hyunwoo…?”

“Yes, Minhyuk. Now, can we go home?”

The boy was still dumbfounded when Hyunwoo pulled his wrist. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kihyun and Hyungwon, looking all tired yet relieved. Hyunwoo didn’t have him a chance to talk to his friends, though, since the man had dragged him to his car before he even knew it.

Minhyuk’s memories stopped there before Hyunwoo started the engine. He felt exhausted and drowsy that he let his eyes shut. The last thing he remembered was Hyunwoo’s kiss on his temple, and everything went dark.

+

He woke up with a bad headache. He grunted when he sat up, head throbbing painfully. He forced his eyes to open wider, and when they did, he found himself in someone else’s bed. The room was obviously not his, but it wasn’t completely a strange room. He knew this room as well as he knew his, and it built awareness in him. He shouldn’t have come to this place again, he told himself.

Minhyuk didn’t remember how he could end up here. He went to a club with Kihyun and Hyungwon last night, so even if he was too drunk to walk straight, his friends should take him home. So, why was he here, once again in Hyunwoo’s room?

The more he thought about it, the more his headache clenched his head. He felt like pulling his hair to make the ache disappear, but before he could do anything, the door swung open and Hyunwoo appeared.

“Hangover?” Hyunwoo said with a gentle smile—oh, how Minhyuk missed that smile. “Here, drink this. If you feel like vomiting, please do. It will make you feel better.”

Minhyuk took the glass of warm water and a white pill from Hyunwoo hesitantly, but he thanked the man, anyway. He drank the painkiller in one gulp, putting the almost empty glass on the nightstand afterward. As he did so, he couldn’t even look Hyunwoo in the eye. It still hurt to meet this very man, and Minhyuk wasn’t ready for more pain.

There was an uncomfortable silence between them. Minhyuk’s head hung low, but he could feel Hyunwoo’s eyes on him. Hyunwoo’s gaze was as gentle as usual, but for Minhyuk, it was like a sharp knife slicing his heart in a slow, torturous motion. Minhyuk’s pupils shook when Hyunwoo touched his cheek—how could Hyunwoo be this gentle even after Minhyuk made a one-sided decision to break their arrangement?

“Hyunwoo—” Minhyuk’s voice was hoarse and trembling when he spoke, “I’m—I’m sorry—”

However, the older man didn’t let him finish his words. A thumb ran against his lips, stopping him from saying anything more, and finally—finally—Minhyuk braved himself to look up at the man he loved up until now.

“You’ve made a reckless decision, baby,” Hyunwoo said softly, “but I understand. Kihyun said you have your own reasons that I might want to hear, so if you want to talk about it, I’m all ears.”

Minhyuk’s cheeks got hotter. He couldn’t tell the reason—the real reason—to Hyunwoo, could he? He’d hidden his feelings so far, and if he revealed it now, what he had sacrificed after all this time would be in vain.

But on second thought, he had nothing to lose. Hadn’t he ended the relationship with Hyunwoo? Even if he told him about how he loved the man, it would affect nothing. Telling him or not, he had lost Hyunwoo—no, he never even had Hyunwoo in the first place. It wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t make Hyunwoo want him back.

In front of him, Hyunwoo was waiting. Hyunwoo never forced him to do anything, no, he wouldn’t, but Minhyuk knew he wanted Minhyuk to tell him the truth. And Minhyuk, with the last bravery he had, would tell him. Yes, he would.

Hyunwoo didn’t rush him. Hyunwoo didn’t ask questions. Hyunwoo didn’t cut him midway. Hyunwoo waited patiently until he finished with his story about how he had prevented himself from loving Hyunwoo (and failed), and how he wanted Hyunwoo to be with someone else, someone in his childhood dreams. When he was done with it, his heart skipped a crazy beat. Hyunwoo’s face was unreadable; he was still as calm as he always was. He didn’t seem startled as well, as though he had known everything.

And yes, he knew. He told Minhyuk he knew. Minhyuk couldn’t even hold his surprise.

“Did Kihyun tell you?” Minhyuk asked, and Hyunwoo shook his head.

“Kihyun never said anything about it. I just knew, maybe before you even realized that you have different feelings for me.”

It was another surprise from Hyunwoo. Minhyuk’s eyes widened, but Hyunwoo only chuckled like it was nothing.

“But,” Minhyuk bit his lower lip before continued, “Why didn’t you end our relationship sooner?”

“Why would I?”

“Because you didn’t want—” Minhyuk felt tears brimming in his eyes. He quickly wiped it before it could fall down his cheeks. “—you didn’t want love in this relationship. It would only burden you.”

Hearing that, Hyunwoo’s expression turned into a guilty one. He inhaled deeply and let his breath out slowly. “About that,” he started, “at first I thought so. I learned from my previous relationships that love wouldn’t do me good. But if I rethink about it, half of it was my fault. I never really loved someone, maybe that’s why it felt like a heavy weight before. It’s different with you, though.”

Minhyuk made a puzzled look. “What do you mean by… different?”

Hyunwoo looked at Minhyuk; it started from the pair of almond eyes and then moved down to the soft, pinkish lips. Minhyuk couldn’t even avoid it when Hyunwoo leaned in for a kiss. He wanted to push the bigger body away, but he couldn’t—he didn’t want to.

“What I mean,” Hyunwoo muttered into the kiss, “with you, I realized that I have this feeling I should’ve had when I married Yebin, and when I dated my exes.”

Minhyuk couldn’t believe his hearing. It was like a dream, but when he felt his blood rushing faster up to his head and his heart thumping wildly, he knew it was a reality. Hyunwoo, right here, right now, was confessing to him.

“It was never unrequited love like what you thought, baby,” Hyunwoo’s smile was like the sun, but as gentle as the moon. He pulled Minhyuk in only to crash their lips together once more, but this time, Minhyuk stopped him before he could catch those lips.

“But,” The boy’s gripped onto the shirt on Hyunwoo’s chest tightly. “You want to bring your loved one to the hill, and when you’re married, you will take your family there. You want—you want children. You want a perfect family. I can’t give it to you.”

Hyunwoo took the smaller hands on his chest, thumbs rubbing the skins to ease the redhead guy. “Why do you think I brought you there that night, telling you all my childhood dreams?” he asked calmly. “Because it’s you. You’re my loved one. We can adopt two children later when both of us are ready for it.”

“B-But,” Minhyuk was still unsure; it wasn’t like he doubted Hyunwoo’s love for him, but he believed Hyunwoo shouldn’t have taken this easily, “How about your parents? They wouldn’t want you to be with me! I’m—I’m just a student, the broke one. I have nothing to be proud of. You could find someone better! And I’m a boy! Your parents—”

Hyunwoo’s palm over his mouth was the one that could make him stop talking. “You’re thinking too much,” Hyunwoo said along with soft chuckles. “My parents know my preference since long ago, and even though it took time for them to understand, now they’re pretty much fine with it. This won’t be the first time I date a man, and believe me, they’ll like you. You’re way, way better than everyone I dated before. You’re much fun, definitely cuter. My mother will treasure you a lot.”

“How about—how about Yebin? You two looked so good together. Even her daughter liked you! Shouldn’t you—”

“She’s having a happy married life with her new husband. And I told her about you. Don’t you think she looked a bit excited when she saw you? She even had this teasing look you might not see when I introduced you two,” Hyunwoo sighed, as though he was irritated by it, but he didn’t sound like he minded it at all. “But yeah. She’s with someone else now, and she wishes the best for us.”

When Hyunwoo’s lips claimed his, Minhyuk didn’t refuse anymore. He let Hyunwoo sit him on the older man’s lap, arms around his slim body. He let himself melt into the kisses, the touches, the beautiful feelings they had for each other.

It was like a dream, but when Hyunwoo whispered “I love you” into his ear, he knew it wasn’t a dream.

Not anymore.

(“I’m a virgin,” Minhyuk said before Hyunwoo’s lubed fingers could enter his hole. He was a little afraid that Hyunwoo would do him roughly in his first time, so it would be wise if he told the man first.

Hyunwoo, though, only stared at him with a small smile on his lips as he said, “I know.”

Minhyuk shuddered when Hyunwoo rubbed the rim of his entrance. “How could you know everything about me? Did you spy me before?”

It stopped Hyunwoo from any activities he did down there. “Uh,” He licked his lips, “Kihyun told me.”

Minhyuk’s eyes got round at that. “He knew?!” The boy gasped dramatically. “He knew and he didn’t even say a thing about it to me? What a friend!”

“He said he just wanted to save you and your pride. But he really cares about you, you know. He told me to be gentle. He’s such a good friend.”

“Remind me to kill him later—a-ah, fuck.”

Hyunwoo grinned at Minhyuk’s curse between his soft moans. “You sound sexy when swearing like that, baby.”

Minhyuk whined. His plan to murder Kihyun seemed to be forgotten when Hyunwoo pushed another finger into him.)