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Honestly, Laura had never been more tense. Rationally, she knew that she had a lot of advantages. Nobody would bat an eye if she crossed the border in a uniform, for example. Even if it was at least a size too big.
Her rifle lightly tapped against her side, hanging from her shoulder by its strap. She would have preferred to leave the stupid thing. She really, really didn’t want to hurt anyone and she didn’t know how to use it in the first place.
Besides, if she did have another…situation like the one she got into while obtaining her uniform, she had better options than the gun.
The thought of her earlier mishap turned her stomach and she looked down to make sure her sleeve covered her right hand. An oversized uniform she could explain if the situation called for it. What lay beneath it was bound to provoke some much harder questions, though.
Not that it mattered. One way or another, she was getting to the other side of that wall because there was something there for her. Carmilla was there.
Hopefully.
When the wall was built, they had to resort to letters just to talk to each other. Just to reassure each other that they were still there. They couldn’t even be sent by regular post, because they couldn’t be certain their letters wouldn’t be opened by others. No, they basically had to be smuggled across the wall like booze or medicine.
It hurt, the separation. More than once over the years Laura had found herself leaning to the side, only to remember that there was no shoulder to rest her head on. No lap to serve as a pillow. No beautiful, snarky girl to look at her as if the stars themselves were but a dull glow compared to Laura.
The letters were the only thing they still had, even if Carmilla found it as hard to talk about her feelings in writing as she did in person. Still, it made it all the more endearing to find an ‘I love you’ at the bottom of her every letter in her pretty, traditional handwriting.
It hurt more too, but if nothing else, Laura had learned to take the good with the bad the past few years.
Of course, then things had happened and there was radio silence. Years of radio silence.
When Laura finally broke that silence, it was with a simple letter.
I’m coming over the wall in two days. Wait for me down the road from the main checkpoint. Bring a ride.
I love you so much.
Your Cupcake.
She had no idea if Carmilla would come. Hell, she didn’t even know if Carmilla still lived at that address. To be honest, she didn’t know if Carmilla still lived at all, but the thought of a world without her made Laura want to burn the whole thing to the ground.
…She had acquired some violent tendencies lately, okay?
The spotlights at the checkpoint seemed more blinding than ever and with a hiss, Laura turned her burning eyes to the ground. As per usual, soldiers stood at the barrier with bored expressions and weapons dangling forlornly at their hips as they tried to keep warm.
‘Come on. Pretend you’re supposed to be here.’ Laura thought as she drew closer. She squared her shoulders and walked with purpose, doing her best to cover the tear in the side of her uniform with her arm as she went.
Thankfully, the guards were more interested in trying to keep from freezing and complaining about it than paying attention to her. She was at the barrier when someone called out to her in Russian. Shoulders tense, she bit back the urge to curse loudly and repeatedly.
This was fine. It was fine. She had learned Russian for this exact reason. Now she just had to hope she’d learned enough to get by. She just had to get out of the light. The stains and the tear were too obvious in the light.
She slipped out from under the glare of the spotlights and into the shadows just as a lieutenant reached her. “Where are you going, private?” He asked demandingly.
“Delivery, sir.” Laura replied in her best Russian. “Communication with the other side.” She fumbled with her uniform as if to retrieve the letters she claimed to have. She had never felt less bothered by the cold, but still pretended that her fingers were cold and clumsy.
Thankfully, it had started to snow and the lieutenant was impatient. “Again? Fine, fine. They never tell me these things.” He turned to leave, but something caught his attention. “Is that a tear in your uniform?”
Laura swallowed and nodded. “Yes, sir. I…” She fished around for the right word for a second. “I damaged it, on my way here.” A bead of sweat slid down her neck as she soldier scrutinized her.
There were at least five guards. Probably more inside somewhere, but at the very least she would have to deal with the five right here if this all went South. Laura really, really didn’t want to kill five people.
Finally, the lieutenant grunted and waved the short blonde off. “Get it fixed, next time. You look disgraceful.” He said before he stomped off.
“Yes, sir!” Laura called after him, before she turned around and slipped around the barrier. Just like that, she was in West Berlin.
It was…a bit underwhelming, really.
Sure, it was an immense relief that she’d made it past the checkpoint without incident. However, Laura had sort of expected West Berlin to somehow feel different now.
Honestly, given all the planning that had gone into this, she honestly felt she was due a freaking parade. Some freaking ceremony, you know?
Laura shook the thought off and set off down the road as fast she could without breaking into a run. Some of the pressure had lifted off of her shoulders, but doubt still pressed down on her gut like a stone.
The only question now was whether or not Carmilla would be there.
About twenty minutes from the checkpoint, someone was waiting next to a car. A young woman, clad in a dark fur coat, with pale skin and an amazing jawline. Her dark hair was loose and tumbled down her back like black silk.
She looked a bit older than Laura, now. Then again, Laura had aged particularly well to anyone who didn’t know what had happened.
“Carmilla.” Laura breathed, the moment she was close enough. Her eyes drank in the beautiful young woman like this was her last chance before the earth itself perished. Warmth like she had never felt spread through Laura’s body and tears stung at her eyes. “I’ve missed you so much.” She said, a smile spreading over her face.
Carmilla wasn’t smiling, though. She looked like she had seen a ghost. “It’s not you.” She said, shaking her head. “It can’t be you. There’s no way you made it through.” Tears were pooling in her eyes too, but where Laura’s were happy and relieved, Carmilla’s were sad and panicked. “Mattie was right. This was pointless and now I’m going nuts. You’re not here.”
Laura’s smile faltered. She tossed her weapon aside and drew closer to Carmilla, one step at a time. “I’m Laura Hollis and you’re Carmilla Karnstein.” She said slowly, soothingly. “We met when you joined my class in school. You put gum in my hair and I broke your nose. We both got detention.”
Laura took another step. “We were friends after that, even though I had a chunk of my hair missing for ages and you never apologized, you jerk.”
Carmilla was still shaking her head in disbelief, so Laura took another step. “We grew up together. I fell in love with you when we were fourteen and we first kissed when we were sixteen, out in the snow behind my house.”
Another step. “The first time we slept together, your mother had just forbidden you from seeing me. We spent all night making love in her bed while she was away.” Laura chuckled softly. “Your idea of sending a message.”
Carmilla’s lips twitched up in a smile for a moment and Laura felt a flash of hope go through her at the sight. She took one more step, leaving barely an inch between them. “I’m Laura Hollis. You’re Carmilla Karnstein. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life and I don’t want to spend another day without you.”
“It’s you.” With an utterly distraught sob, Carmilla all but hurled herself forward and crashed her lips against Laura’s. The blonde wasted no time responding as she wrapped her arms around the taller girl’s neck and eagerly returned the kiss.
Finally! Finally, finally, finally she was with Carmilla again. Finally Laura was home. Finally that gaping hole in her soul had been filled and Laura was whole again.
“How?” Carmilla asked in a broken voice when she pulled back. “You stopped replying to my letters and I was so…Why didn’t you write?” Anger and sadness dripped off of her every word. “I love you so much and you didn’t…How could you not write?!”
As she spoke, Carmilla’s hands roamed all over Laura’s body to make sure that she was really there and whole and unharmed. When she reached her sides, Carmilla noticed something oddly sticky. She looked down and found Laura’s left side and most of her lower left arm were stained red with blood.
“Cupcake, oh my god! You couldn’t mention you were hurt?!” Before Laura could stop her Carmilla rolled up the sleeve and grabbed her hand. It was covered in blood. Dried blood. And there wasn’t a wound in sight. “I…Laura…What?”
The blonde gently pried her hand loose and hid it with the sleeve of her uniform again. “Yeah, that’s not…that’s not mine.” She muttered, deeply uncomfortable. “That happened while I was getting this uniform. However, we do need to talk.”
Carmilla nodded quickly. “Anything. Laura, you can tell me anything. I promi-“ As she spoke she placed her hand over Laura’s heart and when she did, she paused for a moment before her brows shot up in surprise and concern. “Please tell me I’m wrong and you still have a heartbeat.”
“About that. Funny story.” Laura said, looking at anything but her lover. “Well, not haha funny. I mean parts of it are, but in general it’s actually mostly weird aside from the gross parts and-“
“Laura.” Carmilla said sharply, glaring at the shorter woman. She was in no mood to deal with her rambling. “What. Happened?”
“Right, right.” Laura closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “Ok, first of all. I’m still me, okay? There’s just some extras. I need you to know that.” She waited for Carmilla to nod before she continued. “Okay, so remember those investigations into paranormal events I was doing to pay the rent?”
“The ones I said would get you killed?” Carmilla drawled.
“Oh good, you remember that.” Laura muttered guiltily. “Yeah, those. Well, eh, it turns out you were only sort of right.” When she noticed Carmilla’s eyes widening, she quickly held up her hands in a pacifying gesture. “It’s totally fine! I swear! I mean, the good news is that eternity is an actual option for us now and the bad news is…well…”
Reluctantly, Laura opened her mouth and Carmilla gasped as the blonde showed off a pair of long, thin fangs. “I sorta drink blood now.”
Laura closed her mouth again and there was a long, pregnant pause as Carmilla stared into the middle distance in shock.
“That’s why I didn’t write. I was…dead, for a bit…and then I had to learn not to maul people. Which I did, by the way. I had to be sure you were safe if we were ever reunited.” Laura sighed and this time the tears sliding down her cheeks weren’t tears of joy. “Please don’t run.” She begged.
The plaintive tone seemed to snap Carmilla out of her daze. She gave Laura an unreadable look and sighed. “Goddammit, Laura.”
Laura flinched and tried to look away, but Carmilla gently took hold of her chin.
“Three years. You don’t write to me for three years, then I suddenly get this highly uninformative letter out of nowhere and when I see you again you don’t even have the decency to still be alive?” She heaved another sigh and laughed softly. “You’re killing me here, Hollis, but I’ve spent years in utter misery and pain because I thought you were gone.”
Carmilla pulled Laura into another kiss. “Never again.” She breathed as she pulled back and buried her face in Laura’s neck. “I’m never letting you go again. I love you too fucking much.”
Sobbing with relief, Laura embraced Carmilla and buried her face in her dark strands. How long they stood there like that she didn’t know, but it was a lot darker and they were both covered in snow when Carmilla finally pulled back.
“So…Eternity, huh?” She asked, arching a brow.
Laura laughed and shrugged. “Who else am I gonna spend it with? Just wait until I about the whole transformation thing.”