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Waverly didn't understand why she always felt sick to her stomach when Nicole showed up late. She didn't ever have to clarify where she had been, her goofy smile and disheveled mess of red curls said it all. Her relationships never lasted very long, a month at the most, and that was rare, but they all seemed shallow, and the brunette hated it. She and the ginger woman had been roommates and best friends since their freshmen year, after all, and for the past three years, the fact that she was gay had never bothered Waverly.
Or, did it? That thought scared her more than it should have. She didn't think she had a problem with anyone being gay. She wasn't raised religious and she didn't practice one, so that was out. She never found it uncomfortable when she saw another gay couple holding hands or kissing in front of her, and that happened often enough on the campus. Students weren't subtle or private about their sexuality or love life, and Waverly never felt weird around any of her other friends who weren't straight. But with Nicole, every time she was with another woman, the brunette felt like she wanted to puke.
The pair had met after they were randomly selected as roommates, though to this day they weren't entirely sure why. Waverly declared her major right away, knowing from the time that she was a kid that she wanted to go into marine biology. Nicole had hesitantly declared a major in psychology, and although she was now much happier studying criminology, she had said countless times that first going into psychology had been the best decision of her life, because without it, she may not have ever met Waverly.
That night was no different than any other. The shorter woman was curled up in her bed, her computer in her lap as she worked on an essay that she really should have finished hours ago but was interrupted by a phone call with Wynonna, when her ginger friend stumbled into the room giggling. It was well into the early hours of the morning, and Waverly couldn't scold her for being awake because she was as well, but that didn't quell the inevitable sinking feeling in her stomach when she saw Nicole.
"Hey Waves," she grinned at her roommate, jumping up on her own bed and replacing her beer-stained top with a discarded t-shirt that wasn't horrendously wrinkled. "How goes the homework?"
"Fine, I just have a lot of it," Waverly had hoped that would be enough to stop her companion from continuing a conversation, mostly because she didn't want to be filled in on Nicole's newest fling with a girl named Amanda. But of course, luck wasn't exactly on her side.
"Awe man that sucks. You should've come out with me tonight, Amanda and I had tons of fun," she laughed, leaning off the edge of her bed to the mini fridge she stored at the base and grabbing a bottle of water. Waverly had to keep herself from scoffing. Amanda was by far the worst of Nicole's suitors. Though, she had thought the same thing about Jess before her, and Emily before that, and Kim before that. Each time there was a new girl, they were suddenly worse than all the rest. But, this time she was convinced that this one was the worst. Amanda was ditsy, and she walked like she owned the world. She was cocky, arrogant, and her kisses with Nicole were possesive. Seeing her around the auburn haired woman made Waverly grimace every time.
"I'm sure you did, but I really have to get this done. Mr. Raymond may be a nice guy, but he takes grades seriously," she answered with a tense smile. Nicole was quick to notice her strain and her smile faltered a bit.
"Hey Waves, what's up?" she asked, her voice softer as she jumped up beside her. The younger Earp shook her head.
"Nothing, I'm just really tired," she lied, yawning to try and emphasize it. Nicole raised an eyebrow at her friend and gave her a small, lopsided grin.
"You're a terrible liar. Come on Waves, I've known you for years now," she chuckled, nudging the shorter girl playfully. Wavery inhaled sharply at the contact, closing her eyes and shaking her head.
"Really, it's nothing. I'm fine, promise," she smiled brightly, making sure to show her teeth and keep her eyes light. The auburn haired woman could tell that her friend was anything but, but her expression told her that she wasn't going to get an answer out of her yet, so she nodded and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. The touch sent a wave of electricity through her body, and the brunette tensed suddenly as realization washed over her.
"You know I'm always here for you Waverly. Always," with that, and pressing a brief kiss to the brunette's cheek, Nicole made her way back to her own bed in an attempt to sleep off an inevitable hangover. Waverly stared after her in shock, her cheeks burning red and her heart thrashing wildly against her ribs. No, this wasn't happening. It couldn't be. But it was.
Suddenly, it all made sense. All the nights spent staying up just to make sure that Nicole got home safe, the instant dislike and disapproval of any and all women that the ginger ended up with, the sickening feeling she got when her roommate returned home after being with someone else. Waverly didn't have a problem with Nicole kissing girls. She had a problem with Nicole kissing other girls.
Waverly gripped her phone tightly in her hand as she dialed the familiar number. She wasn't even sure if Wynonna would be awake, but she needed to talk to someone and her sister was her best bet. When she had gone off to college, Wynonna had stayed in their hometown of Purgatory, taking over running the local bar, but always supporting her younger sister. The air around Waverly was cold and her breath came out in clouds of white fog, her hands trembling as she held the phone to her ear. When she heard the line answer on the other end, she let out a loud sigh of relief.
"Waves? You do realize it's-" there was a small pause "3:26 AM? Look baby girl I love you, but I need my sleep," her voice, though sleepy and partially annoyed, was a comfort to the younger woman.
"I know, I know, it's just... I need to talk to you. I have a problem," she explained, pulling her jacket closer around her body.
"What? What's wrong? What happened?" suddenly Wynonna sounded much more awake, her voice alert and protective.
"Nothing, I'm fine, nothing happened, it's just... I... Well, I think I like someone," the younger brunette explained. There was a long moment of silence.
"You mean to tell me you interrupted my sleep to tell me you have a crush on a guy on campus?" the bartender sounded annoyed again, and Waverly knew she had to be quick in her explanation.
"No, it's not... I don't have a crush on a guy on campus. I... I think I like Nicole," she finally admitted. When Wynonna didn't answer right away, she cringed and was sure that her sister had hung up on her. But, just as she was about to pull her phone away from her ear to check, she was met with the sound of laughter.
"Oh my god, I knew it! I totally called it!" she cackled, startling Waverly so much that she had to tighten her grip on her phone to keep from dropping it completely.
"You... You knew?" she asked, her eyes wide in shock.
"Do you remember last Christmas when I came to visit because your Jeep broke down?" the older woman asked, still recovering from her laughter.
"How could I forget? You practically got us thrown off campus," Waverly, despite her mood, couldn't resist laughing as well.
Flashback
The sound of playfull bickering woke Waverly from her sleep, and she groaned loudly, rolling over and blinking her eyes open against the sunlight streaming in through the window. Across the room, sitting on Nicole's bed and agressively racing on Mario Kart were the ginger herself, along with the older Earp woman.
"Haughtstuff, I swear to god, you throw that bomb and I will-" Wynonna was interrupted as Nicole pressed a button on her controler, launching a bomb in front of her and causing her to crash, allowing the auburn haired woman to pull in front of her and place first, while the bartender placed fifth.
"You were saying?" she giggled, grinning cockily towards the older woman.
"Oh you're gonna pay for that," tossing her controller aside, Wynonna tackled Nicole off the bed, knocking them both to the floor in a jumbled mess of tangled limbs as they giggled and rolled around, both trying to pin the other. Nicole managed to get the upper hand in the end, smirking down at the bartender triumphantly as she straddled her lap, pinning her to the floor and holding her wrists above her head.
"Ah, a formidable opponent you are indeed, but don't think this is over," the darker haired brunette teased as she stuck out her tongue, but it did nothing to phase the prideful ginger avbove her.
"Hey assholes!" Waverly's sharp voice cut through the noise and both instantly sat straight up, flashing guilty smiles toward the younger Earp glaring at them from under her covers. "Do you want to wake the entire remaining staff? You're lucky I even managed to get you in here," she snapped at her sister, who only chuckled and bit her lip.
"Sorry baby girl, we'll try to be more quiet from now on," she apologized, though her eyes were hardly truthful.
"Yeah, sorry Waves," Nicole's eyes held more sympathy, but it didn't stop her from continuing her wreslting match with the bartender as she reached up and jabbed her in the side, and Waverly rolled her eyes, burying her face under her pillow. If they got thrown out, she would have nothing to do with it.
End flashback
"You two idiots were so loud that the only RA that decided to actually stay on campus over break had to come to the dorm and warn us about noise complaints," she could help smiling at the memory.
"Yeah, that was great. You slept all day and we messed with you so bad. But that's not what I'm talking about. Do you remember what happened after all that? Nicole and I went out and got a few drinks, and she got drunk on peppermint shots," how could Waverly ever forget that.
"Wynonna, what's your point?" she asked, sighing as she sat down against the wall, curling her knees into her chest in an attempt to keep warm.
"My point is, before we headed back to the dorm, she told me that she liked you. Liked you a lot, actually. And I thought, hey, that's just the alcohol talking, but when I brought her back to the dorm you were asleep and she kept calling you beautiful. And then when I tried to put her to bed, she started crying, and I kept asking her why and she wouldn't say, but I just thought she was really wasted. But then, when she finally stopped, she told me that she knew you didn't like her back, and that she kept having random flings to try and hide it from you," Waverly's mouth hung open as her sister recounted the story.
"She... She said all that? But wait, how did you know I liked her back?" she had plenty of other questions, but for some reason that's the one she blurted out anyways.
"Because of how mad you got when you found out she was drunk. You were in literal tears, Waves. I've never seen you so broken up. You kept calling her stupid and saying she could've been hurt, and you yelled at me for letting her get to that point. When you were dating Champ, he got drunk off his ass more times than I can remember, and you always just let it happen. You didn't get mad, you didn't yell, you didn't even tell him you were upset. But with her, you looked like you were terrified, like if you lost her then your world would be over," Wynonna laughed softly and Waverly felt tears brimming in the corners of her eyes.
"I... I was just worried," there was no use trying to defend herself, especially when she had already confessed her feelings, but she was still trying to wrap her head around it all.
"You were hysterical. You cried for an hour and you slept in her bed beside her. I assumed you already knew you liked her, so I didn't say anything, but then you didn't say anything about it and you didn't act on it, so I figured it would be better to let you find out for yourself that you liked her. It sure took you long enough though," the bartender laughed, and Waverly felt a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
"God, I really do Wynonna. I like her so much," her voice barely came out as a whisper. Wynonna chuckled into the phone, and Waverly felt her heart flutter at her sister's next words.
"Then don't hide it anymore. Don't sit by and watch her walk away. Go and tell her how you feel."
Waverly closed the door slowly behind her, doing her best to stay as quiet as possible. But, of course as luck would have it, the ever persistent squeak of the door that had been troubling the brunette for the entire semesterwas loud and clear through the room, and Nicole sat straight up in bed.
"Waves?" she asked quickly, blinking her eyes rapidly in an attempt to wake herself up. The brunette offered a small smile and sniffled hard, her nose runny and red from being out in the cold. "Waves, what the hell are you doing? Were you outside?" she jumped down from her bed and in an instant her arms were around the shorter brunette, holding her close and flooding her with warmth. Waverly couldn't stop herself from melting into the touch and she breathed out heavily, hugging Nicole back and resting her head against the taller woman's shoulder. "Come on," her voice echoed in Waverly's ear as she peeled off her jacket, pulling her into bed beside her and wrapping her body protectively around the smaller woman.
"Nicole, I-" she started, but the ginger shushed her, holding a finger to her chapped lips and wiping a frozen tear from her pale cheeks.
"Shh, don't speak. You don't have to talk about it," she soothed, stroking her fingers through the brown locks sprawled over her chest.
"But I-" again Waverly was cut off.
"Waves, really, I'm okay, don't worry about it. You don't have to do anything until you're ready," she held the brunette tight, but Waverly pulled back and sat up.
"Nicole, I want to talk. I have to... I have something I have to say," she explained, taking in a shaky breath. The taller woman sat up as well, gazing over her friend's expression nervously, cupping one cheek in her hand to keep her warm. "I... Do you love Amanda?" it probably wasn't the best way to start the conversation, but Waverly couldn't think of anything else to say.
"What? I... No, but I... Waves, what has this got to do with-" this time it was the younger Earp's turn to interrupt.
"Did you love any of them? Any of the girls you've been with here?" she asked, her body trembling against Nicole's.
"Well I..." she trailed off, pausing to think for a moment, then sighing. "No... Waverly, why are you asking me this? What happened?" she asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her roommate's ear.
"Every time you come home I get really sick inside," Waverly blurted out quickly. No going back now. "And I kept worrying about it because I kept thinking it was because you're gay which I always said I never had a problem with and I don't feel that way about anyone else, so I thought I was just worried about you, but then I started to wonder if I really did have a problem with it because it kept happening and I got so scared because I didn't want you to feel insecure or unsafe around me and I didn't want to lose you so I didn't say anything, but then earlier you came in and it happened again and it all just finally made sense and I don't know what I'm supposed to do but I-"
"Breathe!" Nicole suddenly cut her off, and Waverly started gasping as she realized how little breath remaining she had left. "Breathe Waves, it's okay. I'm here. Talk to me."
Before Waverly could stop herself, she surged forward and wrapped her arms around Nicole's neck, pulling their lips together in a desperate, hungry kiss. The auburn haired woman sat in shock, her eyes wide and her body tense, but as the kiss deepened she melted into it, closing her eyes and wrapping one arm around the brunette's waist, grabbing one of her arms with her free hand. When they finally broke apart, Nicole was staring at the younger Earp sister in shock.
"I... Waverly... You..." she stuttered, unable to form proper words. Waverly stared back, then she let out a smlal giggle. Withing a few moments, she was laughing hard, her eyes welling with tears as she lowered her head.
"God, I... I've been so scared for so long that I couldn't accept you for who you were, and now I..." she trailed off, giggling and wiping her eyes, though it did nothing to stop the steady flow of tears. "Nicole... I know you're not really one for commitment, but I really, really like you, and I'm probably a giant idiot because I know you probably don't-" Nicole silenced her with another kiss, this one much shorter but still just as breathtaking.
"Waverly Earp, I've been waiting three years to hear those words," she admitted with a sheepish laugh, her own tears beginning to form. Waverly laughed and leaned forward, though she didn't completely close the distance between them, instead resting her forehead against Nicole's.
"So... All the other girls, the flings and one night stands..."
"Meaningless," Nicole answered the partial question with confidence.
"Even Amanda?" she hated to ask, but she had just realized her feelings for the ginger, and she couldn't suddenly lose her.
"Especially Amanda," she chuckled, tightening her hold on the smaller woman in her arms to prove it. Waverly blushed and grinned, lettting herself melt into the auburn haired woman's embrace. They stayed like that the rest of the night, laughing and crying and kissing, holding each other close under the safety of Nicole's comforter.
And the next day, as they walked through the campus hand in hand, both beaming ear to ear, Waverly couldn't help sending a knowing smirk Amanda's way when she saw her, feeling a sense of selfish- But wonderful- Pride at the way Nicole simply rolled her eyes playfully, pressed a firm kiss to the side of her head, and held her closer.