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Tony has never seen himself as a father figure in the slightest. To be perfectly honest, Tony has never even seen himself as a husband. He knows he’s damaged and he knows how cruel it would be for him to force someone to try to fix him. He likes women, that much he knows. But, he’s never felt the love everyone seems to go on and on about. He sleeps around so much that he’s become well known to the public as a playboy. With each sexual encounter, however, he feels this growing numbness around his heart. He lies awake at night wondering if he’s unlovable and in the same moment understanding the kind of burden his love would be.
It’s four in the morning and he has just gone to bed after a particularly grueling night of weapons designing. As tired as he is, he cannot seem to find comfort in his satin seats. He’s tossing and turning, determined to find at least a couple hours of sleep before he has to head to the office to do some paperwork with Obadiah. He’s doing some calculations in his head regarding the previous weapon he had been working on when suddenly JARVIS’s voice echoes through the walls.
“Mr. Stark, sir, Miss Potts says you are needed downstairs immediately. It’s an emergency,” JARVIS says, his voice marked with unusual worry.
Tony is immediately up from his bed. Pepper would never be up this early in the morning unless it truly were an emergency, so regardless of his sleep deprivation, Tony comes tumbling down the stairs.
“Miss Potts, what is it?” He asks, almost out of breath.
Pepper glances at Tony’s bare chest before quickly looking back up to his curious eyes. He crushes his urge to smirk and ask her if she likes what she sees and instead addresses her with a worried gaze. She has apparently just woken up herself, with the unprofessional clothes she’s wearing and the bags under her eyes.
“Tony, do you know an Ashley Perry?” Pepper questions, her voice low in exhaustion.
“No, why? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He almost reaches out to her but then pulls his hand back and lets it fall to his side.
Pepper lightly shakes her head before she continues with, “She’s dead Tony. They said it was a heart attack. God she was only like 25. And…”
“What? Spit it out Potts!” He almost begs, his patience lacking even more so than usual.
“And her two month old child is yours,” She states with a sense of finality that seems to make the temperature drop a few degrees.
Tony barks out a laugh, but at the look on Pepper’s face his eyes widen and his mouth drops.
“This is a prank, Miss Potts. Tell me this is a prank,” He urges, his smile twitching.
“Tony, this is absolutely not a prank. You know me,” She replies with a frown.
“How...how do they even know it's mine? I mean did they even do-”
“Paternity tests? Yes, they did multiple. Ashley had kept it a secret from just about everyone but her parents. And with her gone now, they want absolutely nothing to do with the child.” Pepper softly informs Tony.
She can’t imagine a world where he takes this well. In fact, maybe she can. As awful as it would be for Tony to find out, there had been moments when Pepper had wondered what kind of father he would be like. As much as he probably thought he would be awful at parenting, Pepper always had thought the opposite. Unlike the media and almost everyone else in the world, besides Rhodey and occasionally Obadiah, Pepper got the luxury of seeing Tony at his best. The world saw Tony at his worst while Pepper saw every piece of him. She knows he’s a good guy and no matter what anyone else says she knows how deeply he cares.
This, of course, is not the best situation Pepper could have hoped for Tony. As terrible as she feels for the Ashley girl, he must be feeling at least ten times worse. She shuffles her body and crosses her arms as she waits for Tony’s reaction.
“Where is it?” He finally asks, looking as far from her eyes as he can. By the way he keeps shuffling and turning his body away from her, she can tell he's feeling nervous about the child and guilty for the woman he can't even remember.
“What?” She chokes out, breaking herself from her thoughts.
“Where’s the kid? I just...I should probably at least see it before I ya know give it up for adoption or whatever,” He grits out, stubbornness lacing his words.
Pepper grimaces and has to look away. All the visions of Tony and a child running around the house while she jokingly admonishes them begin to shatter. She’s shaking, disgust filling her as she realizes her naivety. He’s your fucking boss. She curses herself, wondering when she became so weak.
“Um...yeah I’ll-uh-I’ll get the address for you,” Pepper stutters, opening the phone Tony had randomly gifted her months ago.
She can tell by his posture and the look in his eyes that his guard is up. She has to force herself to not glance at his chest again. If he hadn’t noticed before, he’d definitely notice if she did it again. She keeps chastising herself. She tells herself it’s wrong to look at him that way and yet her eyes urge her to do it again. She distracts herself by looking through the recent contacts. She redials the number and puts the phone up to her ear.
“Hi, uh we just got off the phone moments ago...” Pepper begins and steps away from Tony, not quite sure of what the person on the other side of the phone will have to say. Their characterization of Tony in the last phone call had been colorful to say the least.
After a steady chorus of “yes”s and “no”s, Pepper finally gets an address and hangs up the phone. She looks back down at the note she had written with the address on it and smacks her head with one of her hands. Tony jumps at the contact and stares at her in confusion.
“What is it?” He questions, walking over to where she is sat.
“They gave me our fucking address,” She growls, ripping the piece of paper.
Tony raises his eyebrows at her and she’s quick to backpedal and correct her words to “your house.”
“I meant your house, Tony,” She repeats, a hint of pink crawling up her cheeks.
“Oh, the f-bomb was what caught me off guard Miss Potts. Not that,” He says, a hint of a smile forming on his lips and then dropping just as quickly as he thinks of his current predicament.
“If this girl’s parents want nothing to do with me or the kid, why the hell wouldn’t they give you an actual address?” He ponders, more to himself than actually Pepper.
Peppers shrugs her shoulders and then inquisitevely looks over at the glass door at the front of Tony’s home.
“You don’t think-” He starts, catching her eyes.
With that, they are both quickly making their way to the front door. Tony rips it open and doesn’t even flinch when it bangs against the wall. There in the frigid November air lays a child wrapped in a bundle of blankets. Pepper gasps from where she stands beside Tony.
“Not even worth a knock or a letter, huh?” Tony says out loud as he reaches down to pick up the bundle.
“You and I may have a few things in common after all,” He continues as he thumbs the material away from the child’s face.
The blanket cocoon falls away to reveal curious hazel eyes. Tony’s dark brown ones widen in surprise.
“You’re a quiet little thing? Aren’t you?” He whispers, his heart almost beating out of his chest.
“Did they even have the decency to give the name?” Tony asks softly.
Pepper is staring at Tony, so deep in thought she doesn’t even realize he had asked her a question.
“Miss Potts?” He questions looking over at her.
Pepper has never seen his eyes look so big. It’s like he’s holding the world. His lips are parted like he’s having a hard time breathing and his eyebrows are crunched as he awaits an answer.
“His name is Peter,” She finally answers, self consciously rubbing her arm when she notices him staring back at her.
“Peter,” Tony repeats, his voice light as a feather.
He turns his attention back towards the baby with a glowing smile. He slowly and gently touches Peter’s face, as if he thinks the child will shatter in his hands. The baby toothlessly yawns and Tony almost melts into a puddle. Pepper coos at the child and can’t help the wide grin that envelops her face. Here Tony is reacting the way Pepper had sometimes imagined he would. She wishes he always looked this utterly complete.
“Screw that bullshit I said before about adoption,” He murmurs, almost too low for Pepper to hear.
With that, Pepper is wide awake and her heart is thumping loudly. She’s happier than she’s been in a while and yet she’s having a hard time discerning why. Because Tony is happy? Or because your boss is happy? She questions herself, but shakes the thoughts from her head. Nothing can keep the smile from her face.
Tony is giggling lightly, as if he himself were a child. He holds the baby closer and snuggles his head into the blankets, mindful of the baby’s head. A little hand breaks through its fabric confinement and reaches up to grab a hold on Tony’s ear.
For once in his life, Tony is not thinking of how much of a burden he is. The only thought swirling in his head, an all consuming thought, is how he can be the best goddamn father in the world.