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"The sky is lovely, isn't it," Sportacus mused, "especially on nights like this. Stars, and stars, as far as you can see." He pointed up at the glittering expanse above them.
"Yeah," Robbie agreed, "I love looking at stars. Especially with you." He turned to Sportacus and smiled.
Sportacus smiled back. "It's wonderful seeing you so happy about something," he replied.
"I'm just a glad you're here to see them with me," Robbie told him, "so I can talk about them and stuff. Or if that's boring we can just talk normally. It's all alright with me so long as you're here."
"Why would it be boring? Talk!"
"Uh, crap, now I'm on the spot! I don't know," Robbie said, "I- never mind. I'll say something if it comes to mind."
"Please do! It's interesting!" Sportacus exclaimed.
"Hey, um," Robbie began, "wait, no. Nevermind."
"Go on!" encouraged Sportacus, "If you were brave enough to start saying it, you can say the rest!"
"Okay," Robbie answered, and continued, "so, um, Sportacus?"
"Yes?"
"Would it be okay if we kissed?" Robbie asked, "Like, properly, this time," he added.
"Of course!" Sportacus answered.
Robbie smiled nervously, reaching for Sportacus's hand as the elf gently cupped the back of his head with the other. For a moment they were still, staring apprehensively into eachother's wide eyes, before Robbie closed his, moved his head forward, and felt his lips touch Sportacus's. Sportacus kissed back, softly, sweetly. Robbie squeezed his hand, not too hard, just enough for reassurance, and hooked his arm loosely around Sportacus's back, bringing them a little closer.
They stayed like this, kissing, perfect, for what felt like hours, and- hang on. This can't be right. How am I not out of breath yet?
Robbie opened his eyes back up, but everything was black, and then there was nothing.
~
Robbie shifted in his sleep, and snapped awake to the significantly uncomfortable feeling of something fluffy rubbing against his face. Sportacus's hair? He opened his eyes. No. It was not. Rubbing at his eyes, he sat up, dazed and confused. He had been asleep, head buried in the corner of his chair, and the rest of him tucked around it, long legs somehow having managed to fit into the space.
He stretched out, still half-asleep, feeling every muscle in his body, or close enough, send out a jolt of pain as they moved for the first time in- probably not that long. He'd got a decent amount of sleep for three days straight, and it was unlikely that fluke of a streak would have been continued. Well. A 'decent' amount of sleep. For him.
Wh-what? Where's Sportacus? Robbie thought as he blinked awake and focused himself. Huh? He shut his eyes, waited a moment, and opened them again. Was- was it just a dream? Well- well, maybe I fell asleep while I was there, and he took me back here! Thinking back over what had happened, it dawned on him that of course it was a dream, that of course that couldn't have happened in reality. And probably never will do, he thought sadly.
Well, then, he said to himself briskly, I guess I'm awake now. His brain was still a little fuzzy with sleep and shock, so he sat up in his chair to check his phone, like always, as if nothing at all was wrong. No new messages, no new alerts, nothing. The usual. He figured there's be some stuff to see on his tumblr dash but then again, opening the app to check meant potentially wasting away the entire day scrolling through post after post. Maybe not such a good idea.
He rubbed his eyes. Right. What am I doing today? Getting some sewing done? Working on an invention? Sitting here in abject apathy for hours on end? The first two seemed redundant, at least for the time being, and he'd spent a fair chunk of the previous night trying to fall asleep whilst doing the latter. Well, I'm certainly not going out, he decided, I need to minimise my chances of running into Sportacus as much as humanly possible for the next- ages. Not that I'd go out anyway if I could help it.
He was broken away from his considerations as he heard a sharp knock and a cry of "Helloo? Can we come in?" from outside- a child's voice, probably Stephanie's.
"Who's 'we'?" Robbie responded.
"Just Ziggy and me!" the voice answered, "Oh, and it's Stephanie, by the way, in case you couldn't tell!"
"Fine. Just for a minute." Robbie answered. He wheeled the chair out of the fall range so that the children would land on the rug, rather than directly on top of him.
"Hi," Stephanie said, brushing herself off post-impact.
"What do you want?" Robbie asked.
"One sec." Stephanie turned around to look up the tunnel to the outside. "Ziggy? Are you stuck in there?" she called.
"Uh, no, I-I'm not coming, I'm just going to wait up here, an' stuff, huh!" Ziggy answered.
"You've been down before, don't be scared!"
"I'm not scared!" Ziggy told her, "I just don't wanna!"
"Okay, just sit tight, then!" she told him, and turned back to Robbie. "So, we're playing basketball, and we don't have anyone to watch and keep score and all that-"
"I know precisely nothing about basketball," Robbie said.
"Let me finish!" giggled Stephanie, and continued, "All us kids want to play, Bessie's out, my uncle's busy with mayor things, and we don't know where Sportacus is."
"And you want me to keep score. As I said, zero knowledge of the rules." Robbie said, "Or anything else about it." he added.
"Pixel wrote- well, typed, the rules for you!" she reassured him. "Or if you know where Sportacus is, we could find him and he could instead!" She looked quickly around. "Is he in here?"
"And why exactly would he be in here?"
"Because you're his boyfriend now!" Stephanie beamed. "And when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend you do lots of sleepovers all the time!"
Oh good god. "Trust me, he's not here, okay? And I don't know where he is."
"Aw, okay. You should ask him if he wants to next time you see him!"
Child. No. This isn't alright. In the slightest. Desperate to change the subject, Robbie conceded, "Fine. I'll watch your stupid game. For ten minutes, tops."
"Yaaay! Thank you!" Stephanie grinned. "It won't be too long, okay?" she reassured him.
"Sure."
"Sure?"
"Whatever, I'm going, I'm going." Robbie complained.
"Okaay..." Stephanie mumbled as Robbie began on the climb out of the lair.
Ugh, why am I doing this? It's too late to back out now, but why the hell did I agree to it in the first place? I guess I'm just going to have to deal with it, 'it won't be too long', as she said. He pulled himself up the rest of the ladder with manageable difficulty, and almost flopped out of the opening in exhaustion.
"Hello!" Ziggy said, waving to him from the spot on the ground he'd chosen to sit down in.
"What do you want?" Robbie sighed. I really don't have the energy to deal with more than one child at a time, he realised, he says as he's off to go keep score for a goddamn basketball game.
"Just t' say hello!" Ziggy told him, oblivious to his very clearly disinterested tone.
Stephanie poked her head out of the hatch. "Hi Ziggy!" she smiled, "I have returned from the depths! And I've brought Robbie to keep score!"
"Regretting the decision already." Robbie said.
"Aw. Oh well, you can't change your mind now! We've got ya!" she giggled, pulling herself expertly up
onto the rim of the hatch, and hopped elegantly down from it.
"Uh-huh." Robbie responded, and they set off, Stephanie confidently leading, Ziggy making quick, short, steps, enough so that Robbie felt he might fall over at any time, in order to keep up with her.
Within minutes Robbie found the children were speeding significantly ahead of his indifferent pace, talking and laughing- surely they wouldn't notice if he caught up, just a little bit? I don't want them to think I'm interested or anything, because I'm not, he thought, but then again, I feel a little odd being this far behind. They aren't going to notice, right? Right.
He set off at a quicker pace, acutely aware of the noise his footsteps were making, and slowed down as he felt the gap between he and the kids had closed enough.
"Hey again, Robbie! Decided to rejoin us?" Stephanie giggled, turning her head to face him as best she could whilst still walking straight ahead.
"Wh-what? No!" Shit. "No, I'm just- I'm just walking a little faster, that's all! You just... happened to be nearby when I ran out of breath!"
Ziggy began to laugh. "You're not a very good liar, you know that, Robbie? What did you want t' talk about, huh?"
"Nothing! It's nothing to do with you two! I just happened to run out of breath here! That's all!" Robbie defended, arms flapping. "In fact, I've got my breath back now, and I'm going on ahead! Whatever!" he decided, and stepped haughtily in front of them without a backward glance.
"Why's he being so mean, huh, Stephanie?" Ziggy asked. "I thought you said he'd got sorta less mean now!" Robbie tried not to listen, but walking any faster, to get further ahead, would likely end with him doubled over exhausted within seconds, and he'd never been any good at tuning out sounds.
"I don't know." Stephanie answered, continuing, "Maybe it's because you're here- not that you're any more worth being mean to, of course, but I've been going to visit him every few days for quite a while, so I guess he's just more used to me on my own. Maybe."
Hm. Robbie had never really thought about that. I suppose I really have, he thought. Wow. I tolerate a child. Never thought that'd be something I'd have to acknowledge about myself.
"Hey, Robbie!" Stephanie called, "Sorry to bother you again, but we were just wondering- hm, not quite sure how to put this," she paused for a moment, "okay, um, no offence, or anything, but do you, like, not like us kids?" she asked.
Robbie stopped walking, and turned around. Ah, crap. A few weeks ago he wouldn't have hesitated to proclaim his utmost loathing for every one of them- then again, a few weeks ago he wouldn't have been in this situation in the first place; but now, now he wasn't quite sure. Even if it was still the truth, he'd feel bad saying it directly to Stephanie. But is it? Do I really hate them? Why am I asking myself this, of course I do! Of course... I do, right?
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Whatever. Why do you even care?" he spat contemptuously.
"Well, if you're going to be like that then maybe I don't care!" Stephanie replied.
It hurt a little, Stephanie finally reciprocating Robbie's countless rude brushings-off, but he supposed he deserved it. He took a sharp breath, and continued, "Look, if you want an honest answer, now's not the best time." he told her as calmly as he could manage. When it's me who's calming down Stephanie, that's when I know something's wrong. he thought.
"Okay! Sorry!" Stephanie giggled, snapped back to her normal peppy cheer in an instant. "Look, there are the others!" She pointed to the three children practicing shots on the near-approaching sports field.
Ziggy rocketed ahead to say hello, Stephanie following close behind and eventually, with her longer legs and better experience- passing him and getting there first.
Robbie saw the children wave hello, and as he drew close enough to catch it, he heard Trixie complain, "C'mon, Pinkie, you sure you're sure you couldn't find Sportacus? Maybe if you'd just've looked a little bit harder? Can't you go back?"
"No!" Stephanie answered defiantly. "If you'd just get to know him you'd see, he's just really shy, and being mean is a way to stop people being any meaner to him. It makes him very, very sad, and you shouldn't wish that on anyone!"
"You know, Stephanie," Robbie began as he reached the two, "it's rather rude to talk about people when you think they aren't listening,"
"Sorry! Well, though, it's not like you would have told her yourself! I'm only helping!" she protested.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I'm making a joke. Or something." he said. "Right. Let's get this over with, then. You said computer boy had the rules?"
"Uh-huh!" Stephanie smiled and nodded. "Pixel!" she called.
"Yeah?" The boy lifted his head from the computer to look at her. "Oh! You've brought Robbie! Sorry I didn't see you when you got here, I was pretty busy with my computer!" He gestured to the device, a fairly average looking model but beefed up with other pieces of intense-looking tech, that, honestly, he'd likely made himself.
"Yes. Okay." Robbie said awkwardly, shifting his weight foot to foot. "I am here. Unfortunately. Show me the rules, you've got ten minutes before I'm leaving."
"Right here." Pixel clicked around on the mousepad for a moment, unplugged some of the heavier-looking peripherals, and brought the computer over.
Robbie peered at the screen. "How do you read this?" he asked Pixel with a slight grimace. "Make the text bigger!"
"Can do!" Pixel shifted his grip on the laptop and clicked the text size up two, four, six points. "Is that better."
"It's fine, I guess." answered Robbie. "It may be a minute reading this all through." he said. The rules were fairly simple, if a little useless.
"Got all that?" Stephanie asked.
"Yup." Robbie replied. "What do I do now?" He handed the laptop back to Pixel, who scurried off to plug everything back in.
"Okay, you go sit on that chair over there," Stephanie pointed to a chair they'd set up on the other side of the sports field, "and watch. Blow the whistle that we put on the chair if someone's doing something wrong, or if someone gets a point."
"Right." Robbie nodded. "Ten minutes." he told her again. She nodded, and he begrudgingly went over to and sat down on the assigned chair. Hm. he thought, After a dream like that, I usually end up spending a week curled up in my chair eating raw coffee grounds so as not to fall asleep and dream something else similar. I think I'm doing pretty good! Maybe I'm even getting better? Nah, that's a little too much for me to hope for I think. But still! This is good!
The game was just about to start, when an all-too familiar blue blur came flipping and flopping over the nearby wall, and landed with an energetic call of, "Hi kids!" Sportacus beamed. "And Robbie, too!" he said, waving.
"Uh, I'm sorry," apologised Robbie to Stephanie, getting up, "I-I have to go." Well then. That was certainly short-lived.
"Aw..." She pouted. "Why? I guess now Sportacus is here, he could do it for you, but don't you think doing it together would be more fun?"
"Uh, no, I mean, not today," Robbie mumbled, "look, just, uh, have fun with your game, or whatever, alright?"
"Okayy..." She turned to her friends, who were all bombarding Sportacus. "Guys!" she called to get their attention, "Robbie has to go now, he's..." She glanced back at him. "He's, um, just not feeling very well all a sudden, 'kay?"
As soon as Stephanie had said the final word Robbie began speed-walking away from them, towards his home and only safe place. Sure, the speakers would bombard him with their noise, but, as obvious, it was a small price to pay. He heard worried chatter from behind him, but he couldn't- and honestly didn't want to, make out any specific words.
~
"Robbie? Are you alright in there?" Sportacus's voice echoed from outside the lair.
"No! I'm not!" Robbie called back. He considered yelling, 'Please leave me alone, I can't talk to you now. Or probably ever again.' up to him, but- No. Sportacus is my boyfriend now, I can't just tell him to go away. he told himself sternly, But I can't let him see me! And I certainly can't let myself see him!
"Could I come down?" Sportacus asked.
Shit, uh, "I-I don't think that'd be a very good idea," Robbie answered. What did I just tell myself? "I mean, if you have to," he added, "but, uh, yeah." Fuck. Either I'm pushing him away, or I'll have to talk to him. I am completely and utterly screwed!
"Are you sure?" Sportacus asked, "You sound very tense! Is there really nothing wrong?"
Robbie said nothing, instead burying his face despairingly into his pillow, liquid shame pricking at the corners of his eyes and threatening to spill over at any moment.
"I'm coming down, okay?" Sportacus decided. "If everything's fine I'll go whenever you want me to."
Robbie still said nothing. Why did I ever think leaving home, for even a second- any time today, or for the next week, honestly, could end well? I should have given myself at least a couple of days of sexually frustrated sobbing before risking the possibility of confronting Sportacus, in any capacity at all.
Begrudgingly, he wheeled his chair back to make way for Sportacus's landing, which, sure enough, he stuck, a foot or so from the chair.
"Don't look at me." Robbie croaked.
Sportacus sighed, not exasperatedly, was it- sadly? No, that can't be right. "What happened, Robbie?" he asked, very cautiously, and gently.
"It doesn't matter!" Robbie answered, almost a shriek had it not been for the pillow muffling the sound. "Just- just leave me alone for a-a, um, for a long time, I'll be fine eventually!" He felt the tears welling in his eyes finally give way and fall, soaked instantly by the soft faux fur of the fluffy pillow.
"You know I could never do that." Sportacus told him.
"Hmph."
"Is there anything I can do?" he asked.
"Hmph."
"You know I can't stand to see you like this, okay?" Sportacus said reassuringly, "Is it anything to do with me? If it is, I can do my very best to help resolve it!"
Robbie sniffled. "Mhm. Yeah." He slowly raised his face from the pillow, careful to keep his eyes trained on something, anything other than Sportacus.
"Well, what is it, and what can I do?"
"You can't do anything about it."
"Tell me, and maybe I'll think of something myself!" Sportacus suggested.
Robbie wiped his face. "You'll just think I'm overreacting, though." he told him.
"And so what if you are?" Sportacus smiled at him. "If it's making you upset, it's a big enough deal for me to take it seriously, okay?"
"O-okay." Robbie took a deep, shaky breath. "I- okay. Right. God, this really is stupid," he said to himself.
"Go on," Sportacus said reassuringly.
"Okay so, l- I might've maybe had a dream about us- us kissing, and stuff, and yeah. It doesn't sound like a big deal, does it?" Robbie rambled nervously. "Well, because it's not, but." He stuck his face back into the pillow. "Ugh. Don't look at me."
"Robbie, it's completely normal to dream things like that!" Sportacus reassured him. "Don't feel bad, please. It's out of your control."
"Huh?"
"Yes! It's fine, okay?"
"It doesn't feel fine." Robbie replied.
"Is there any way I could help you feel better?" Sportacus offered, "This isn't something that should make you so stressed, and the fact it has makes me a little sad."
"I-I don't know." answered Robbie. "Just- ugh. I don't want you to be sad because of me, okay. It may not be fine, but I'm fine." he said.
"Are you sure?"
"No."
"Oh."
"I-I'm not even sure wh-why it makes me so uncomfortable," Robbie sniffled, "I know it's nothing wrong, and it's not even that bad, but, and it's stupid, how ever much you reassure me, I still think everything I want is- is a step too far."
"I know, I know," Sportacus comforted, "shh, it's okay. There's no need to cry, yeah? You're a little bit worked up, and that's fine, but it's all going to be alright."
"Yes." Robbje said. "I'm just overreacting."
"We could kiss in real life, if you'd like," suggested Sportacus, "do you think that would help? So that you don't feel like you've gone a 'step too far', as you said, or anything,"
"I don't know if it would help, exactly," Robbie replied, tense, and words forced. "Since whatever happens, I'll- I'm going to end up overthinking the shit out of it, and it'll circle back to you secretly hating me. And, and I know you don't, at least I think you don't-"
"I don't! Don't worry!"
"-and it's so irrational but I feel like everything you say and do means you hate me, and everything I say and do will make you hate me more." he finished. "I'm sorry. I'm probably way too much to handle at this point, right?"
"Never." Sportacus said. "Did this happen, with the overthinking, I mean, when I kissed you on Saturday?" he asked. "Because if so I'm very very sorry, and I'm going to always ask beforehand from now on!"
"Well, yes, it did..." Robbie admitted. "But that doesn't mean it was a bad thing, so please don't be sorry. Just, yeah, asking first would be a good idea, at least for a while."
"I will!" Sportacus smiled.
Robbie smiled back weakly, wiping at the mascara he felt slowly running down his cheek, rather than waste energy fixing it.
"Okay then. All good now?"
"Not good, but better."
"Positive change! Right. What are we doing now, then?" Sportacus asked. "I'd like to go watch the kids' game for them, or at least let them know where I am, but if you want me to stay here that's fine. They'll be alright."
Okay. He suggested staying himself, so I can ask him to guilt free. Right?
Robbie took a deep breath. "Stay?"
Sportacus smiled. "Of course. Do you want to just sit still for a bit, or do something?"
"I don't mind." Why do I keep doing this? Can't I just say what I want for once?
"Hm. Could we look at your, uh, tumble-er?" Sportacus suggested.
"Oh good god. It's tumblr, Sportaflop." Robbie laughed.
"I take you're feeling a bit better, then?" Sportacus laughed too.
"Yeah."
"So? Can we?"
"Are you sure you want to waste the next multiple hours scrolling through the internet?" Robbie asked.
"Well, I might have to take a jog break," Sportacus replied, "but of course!"
"Okay, right, one sec." Robbie began pushing himself awkwardly out of the chair with his arms alone, legs gone stiff from time spent hunched up unmoving. "I'll get the computer."
"Oh no you won't." Sportacus grinned and double-backflipped, ending up crossing nearly half the lair in one quick jump. "I don't want you falling over going to get it." he said more seriously.
"Ugh, fine." Robbie said. "Hey, no running, you'll drop it!"
"Sorry. Force of habit." Sportacus set the laptop down on the small table nearby.
Robbie held his breath as Sportacus turned around, acutely aware of the possibility he'd sit down in the chair with him. There was certainly enough room, after all.
"Why're you blushing, Robbie?" Sportacus asked, smiling.
"N-nothing!"
Sportacus shook his head fondly and- oh crap, sat down beside him. "Tight squeeze, huh? But that's alright by me!"
Robbie flushed even redder, but this time it felt almost nice. Odd. "Y-yeah." he replied.
Sportacus reached for the laptop. "Uh, how do you open the tumble- no, the tumblr?"
"You got it!" Robbie laughed. "Pass the thing over, I'll get it up for you." He opened his search engine, clicked the bookmark he had saved, and the site popped up.
"That's the one!"
"Sure is. Try not to laugh so loud this time, alright? I don't know if my eardrums can take a second round of that."
