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Spring ambles from winter’s shadow in a haze of rain and bloom. Skirts grow shorter, the girls rolling them up around their hips before reaching the entrance gates. Laughter and conversation ring through the air, dampened only by the downpour and subsequent bemoaning of the downpour.
Prompt by nature, Mikasa is inside the building already, walking quickly up the stairs to the fourth floor, nearly empty at this time save for a few stragglers. Slowing as she draws nearer to where she’s promised to be, she fiddles with the buttons of her cardigan and can only think of how awkward this inevitable meeting will be. Because they’ll have to talk this time. They don’t do well when they have to talk to each other.
But there’s been something on her mind lately. Something that would resolve all of her giddiness and the anxiety that has been building in her regarding who she is as a person. The anxiety, she hasn’t mentioned to Annie before because Annie seems perfectly fine with their set up as though it’s normal. But Mikasa can’t see herself the way Annie must see herself. It’s not easy for her to be caught in between titles where relationships are involved.
Annie doesn’t like to wait for Mikasa, so she doesn’t. She’s careful to arrive with her, lingering in an empty classroom and studying until she’s sure Mikasa has waited for her. Then she’ll walk slowly to where they always meet. And she won’t say a word because most of the time Mikasa will have already taken off her panties and folded them neatly, so there’s really no need to talk.
She doesn’t complain about Mikasa’s lack of interest in reciprocating her touch because, well, it’s clear that Mikasa enjoys what Annie offers. Otherwise, she wouldn’t show up or seek out Annie’s gaze in the middle of 20 th Century Lit everyday like clockwork. And she gets what she wants anyway, turning her rival into a blubbering mess whilst managing to sate her other desires without the fear of other people knowing. Mikasa’s satisfaction must lie in some similar reason, she figures.
This time, Mikasa is waiting for Annie by the door with her arms folded over her chest and her bottom lip drawn between her teeth. Her hair is still a bit damp from the rain and clings to her face. She can hear people walking around the building, but no one comes to their classroom. It hasn’t been used in years for a class. Despite herself, she smiles as Annie breezes in, the scent of her perfume lingering after her.
“Change of plans, Ackerman?” Annie asks, smirking as she turns to face Mikasa.
“We should talk.” Mikasa leans against the wall and looks down at the space between their feet.
“About?”
“Us,” Mikasa murmurs, “And what we’re doing.” She tilts her head and meets Annie’s eyes.
The truth is, she’s been thinking about that for a while. The thoughts turn her stomach and send her mind into a frenzy. God, what exactly is this ? And why does it bother her so much? Because it confuses her when Annie starts the day between her legs only to end it by finding some way to be condescending and rude.
Mikasa can’t help but wonder exactly what goes on in Annie’s head when she thinks of Mikasa. Is it the same for her? Does Annie sometimes lay awake at night, simply appreciating every little aspect of Mikasa she’s learned? Does she sometimes wonder what will follow graduation? Mikasa does. From the time she sees Annie in the morning until she goes to bed. Sometimes she feels greedy, as though she’s craving too much.
Annie isn’t out. Yet Annie was the one to kiss her that time after class while they were supposed to be serving detention together for an earlier spat. And they’d started talking, treating each other with respect when Mikasa hesitantly apologized for… she can’t remember what for. There were words and then very suddenly slightly cracked lips against Mikasa’s smooth, glossed ones.
“How do you feel about me, Annie?” Mikasa asks, her voice soft and her eyes pleading.
Annie says nothing, Mikasa’s tone robbing her of any smart retort that might’ve reached her lips if Mikasa hadn’t sounded so serious and, yet, vulnerable.
“I think about you a lot.” Warmth rises to Mikasa’s cheeks and she looks down again. “I don’t want to stop after graduation.”
Mikasa hates how she sounds and how she’s suddenly become so timid. This isn’t like her at all. She’s never been the kind of girl who’s all soft and sweet inside, quick to be shy when confronting people. Yet, suddenly she’s too shy to even meet Annie’s eyes as though that would make this all just a bit too intimate.
“Don’t be a wimp, Mikasa,” Annie says, smirking. “Just say you want to be my girlfriend.”