Work Text:
This was a rather unknown situation for Ryuu. He had changed his appearance quite a lot over the past years, as he grew up and constantly rearranged his view of himself, like any teenager did. He had tried out trends as they rose and abandoned them when they fell into obscurity again. It took him a while to settle on one distinctive, personal style instead of chasing after every fad that kids of his ages were obsessed with. And even after finding his own look, doing different things with his hair were nothing new to Ryuu.
But right now, it was all just so… weird.
He looked into the mirror, but who looked back didn’t seem to be him.
It was like the whole world stood silently still for a moment as Ryuu came to the realization that this was really him.
He hadn’t seen himself with short hair for… how long? Ten years? More than that? He honestly couldn’t remember.
And suddenly his pink locks barely touched his ears. The tips of his hair tickled a little but not the good kind. He didn’t really know what kind of tickling it was.
When he finally managed to avert his eyes from the strange guy staring at him through the mirror, he saw all the pink strands of hair on the floor around his chair. One shop assistant had already sweeping them away.
Someone else removed the last loose hairs from his neck, combed over his head one last time.
“Alright sir, I hope you’re satisfied with the result.”
Ryuu could see the hairdresser lady smile at him through the mirror and her smile was very nice, but the guy on the chair was still not really right.
“Sir, is something wrong…?”
He turned around on the chair, shaking his head to shave off both the last stray hairs and his own doubts, trying to return to himself. He knew it was dumb making such a fuss over a haircut.
It was just a haircut.
Just laugh off the inner awkwardness.
“Nah, it’s all fine. You did an excellent job, ma’am, thank you very much.”
But that didn’t really help.
Ryuu couldn’t even explain why having his hair cut short had such an impact on himself; it was just hair, it would grow back sooner or later. Sure, he wasn’t quite sure yet if he really liked it this way, but it had to be done. He had postponed this visit for so many weeks and in some way he was glad he had finally gone through with it.
But at the same time, as he paid for the service and picked up his jacket, there were still doubts creeping around in his head, doubts about whether this had been the right step or not.
He was simultaneously nervous about the reactions of others and annoyed by this nervousness.
On the way back to his apartment, Ryuu had the feeling people were staring at him, as if they knew he had looked different before, as if they disapproved of the change.
Which was stupid, he knew that.
But he just couldn’t help it, his mind made these assumptions beyond his actual will.
He found his headband while rummaging through his bag in search of his phone. Pulling it out, he realized that he wouldn’t be wearing it for quite a while. And given the situation he would find himself in soon, he might not ever wear it again.
It all felt so weird.
As if he was slowly turning into a different person.
The reflection in the subway train window showed someone he never thought he would become. The change wasn’t completed yet, but he could see the glimpses of it, and could imagine what it would lead to, how he would end. His ears were piercing-free right now, mainly to make things easier for the hairdresser, but he also knew he couldn’t wear all of them all the time anymore.
And all of that even though he had liked his usual style so much.
Maybe he should have found it several years earlier, to be able to enjoy it for longer.
He thought about taking a selfie of his new, short pinkness, but refrained from it after a moment of thought. He had never hesitated to take a picture before, but for now he decided he should better get familiar with this new view himself before he threw it at Twitter for the world to see.
Another sigh. He should really calm down, it was just a haircut.
He pulled out his phone anyway so he didn’t have to look at his reflection in the window all the time.
The ride back to his apartment had felt about twice as long as usual. Turning the key in the lock, opening the door, taking off his shoes, it all felt so weird.
He sighed again.
It was just. A haircut.
Ryuu could hear the faint sounds of a keyboard clackering at the speed of light from one of the rooms. He approached, silently. Actually it was pointless trying to surprise Io with this haircut, since he had been the one to suggest it. Ryuu needed to fit in with the company he had got him a job in, he had said. The two of them couldn’t afford to live on just Io’s income here, after all.
This cut had been for the sake of the two of them, for their future together.
They had discussed this so many times and decided to go through with this together. They both had to do their part, and this was Ryuu’s. He still wasn’t too fond of it, but he didn’t want to depend on Io like a housewife either.
It was time to grow up.
But why did people have to change and lose themselves while growing up…?
He kept staring at Io, who was so absorbed in his work he didn’t appear to have noticed Ryuu, at the back of his neck. He had seen this so many times before, felt it, kissed it, but suddenly, with his own neck just as exposed, he became much more aware of it.
After a moment, he walked over and made his presence known by gently tickling Io at the back of his head, feeling every single one of the shortest hairs in the process.
Fingers stopped on the keyboard.
Io turned around, let his look linger on Ryuu for a moment, then he took off his glasses and smiled.
“Well done.”
Ryuu waited for a moment. Was this really everything Io had to say? After all the emotional turmoil Ryuu had gone through?
After another awkward pause, however, Io let out a slightly nervous laugh.
“Sorry, I just have to get used to this sight first. But you do look a lot more mature now. That’ll be good for your job, believe me.”
“Yeah”, Ryuu replied, “I guess…”
He retracted his hand from Io’s neck.
“…Is something the matter…?”
Well, Ryuu thought, now that Io actually asked, there was no reason to hold back anymore, was there. All of this had been his idea, so he should take responsibility and listen.
“It doesn’t look like me.”
Io crossed his arms, began to examine Ryuu head to toe, as if he had changed anything else about his looks. He was still wearing the same clothes as usual, although even that would have to change soon, at least during the work week. As a fan of stylish, yet comfortable clothing, he wasn’t really looking forward to this part of work life.
“You’re right, and with a suit you’ll be a completely different person. A new man.”
“I know. And it means goodbye style, goodbye girls, goodbye… me….”
Listing all of this made Ryuu realize how much his life was changing right now, how hard it seemed to find a way to stay true to himself. He didn’t want to lose anything to adulthood. Especially not himself.
This time it was Io who sighed, defeated smile on his face. He took a sip of his coffee and shook his head.
“Ryuu, you idiot, you’re overdramatizing everything like usual.” The pink haired opened his mouth to reply, to protest, but Io was faster to go on.
“Which means you’re still the same as always. You just got a haircut and will wear some new clothes. I know you’ll never be a full businessman, don’t worry.”
It was almost funny that Io thought becoming a salaryman through and through would be a worry of Ryuu’s, but thinking about it, he was right. Ryuu was worried about this change. He didn’t want to go through it, even though he fully knew it was impossible to stay a teenager forever. Everyone changed a little as they grew up, right?
It should be natural, but at the same time it didn’t really feel this way.
Ryuu searched for the right words to communicate all of this, reaching for his head automatically, once again becoming aware of his now short hair and how weird it looked. How “un-Ryuu-like” he suddenly was.
“What about you, though?”, he suddenly heard himself asking, “If I’m becoming a different person, would you actually even still… you know… wanna be with me…?”
“Idiot”, Io sighed as he got up from his chair, facing Ryuu on eye level, “do I really have to explain this to you… I’m disappointed.”
Oh great, Ryuu thought, now it was time for a lecture on how important a second income was to keep their living standards the way they were, how he couldn’t just sit around at home and hope Io’s stock business would be successful forever.
“I thought you’d know all that... that it doesn’t matter how you dress or how you style your hair or anything… Seeing you go on like this means you’re still the same stupid Ryuu as always, so why should I not want to be with you?”
He added a short kiss on top of his little speech.
Io was probably right. It didn’t matter where they were or how old they were or anything like that, Ryuu would have always gotten himself worked up about something as trivial as a haircut. And Io would have always lectured him on it.
Nothing had changed. He looked different now, but so far nothing had really changed.
The next kiss felt as good as always.
“If you’re getting too crazy with growing up, I’ll put you back on the right track, okay?”
Ryuu nodded.
“Although… I guess as long as you’ll stick to yourself in some way, I’ll always love you. It’s just that simple.”
Another nod, followed by another kiss.
And bit by bit Ryuu began to feel better about the whole situation. No matter what he had to wear or do now, at the end of the day there was always someone who knew who he really was and how he really felt.
Maybe growing up wasn’t so terrible after all.