Work Text:
I.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
A simple text message sent at just the right time.
He’s been lonely and tired, and he’s taken more hours at work to try to keep himself less lonely and more tired. He doesn’t think so much when he’s tired.
He taps his pen against the counter, his head tilting a little as he reads the six words over and over and over again.
I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about you.
Will can’t stop thinking about Nate, either.
II.
It’s three hours later when Will gets home and messages Nate back.
Who is this?
The response is a little cruel, but what Nate did to him was a little cruel, too. Will gets it, and he tried to understand, but he was frustrated. He’d moved past being closeted and scared long ago, and he hates that Nate’s still in that stage. It makes Will feel like he’s back there as well. And while Will can understand Nate wanting to keep things quiet, Will can't be someone's dirty little secret.
He sips his tea and leaves the half-drunk cup on his night table when he puts his book down to turn the lamp off.
He sleeps.
III.
In the morning there’s a voicemail.
Will gets ready, telling himself he’ll listen to it on the way to work. He doesn’t want to get a delayed start because of it - if he’s late, Bob will grill him for twenty minutes - but he’s still worried that hearing it might ruin his whole day. He’s got a fourteen hour shift ahead of him, seven a.m. to nine p.m., but he knows he can’t wait that long. His resolve isn't strong enough when it comes to Nate.
He takes a shower, dresses, puts on his favorite pair of shoes, makes another cup of tea, and heads out the door. His phone automatically hooks up to the car's Bluetooth, and as Will turns out of the parking lot and onto the road, he tells Siri to play his unheard message.
“Hey… it’s Nate. Um, Kulina.”
As if Will wouldn’t know the sound of that boy’s voice anywhere. As if Will cared about anyone else in the world named Nate. He missed when Nate used to call and say, “Hey, it’s me,” instead.
“I…” He sighs, and Will can practically see him anxiously scrubbing a hand over his hair. “I know I was a fucking asshole, but I - I want you to know… I came out to my brother.”
Will’s eyebrows rise.
Nate’s quiet for a moment before he continues. “He was really nice about it. I think my mom already knows, but. I’m gonna tell her soon, too. So, um.” He clears his throat. “I know you said to delete your fucking number, but I…” He chuckles sadly. “I didn’t want to. That wasn’t a drunk text or anything. I really… you know.”
Will almost smiles.
“So, um. If you don’t call me back, I’ll leave you alone. But if you think we could… you know, work things out or… whatever. Um, just… call me back, and we… we can talk. Yeah.” His voice is quiet. “Alright. Bye.”
Will thinks the message is over, but then Nate says it again.
“Bye.”
IV.
All morning, Will’s brain is in overdrive. He’s had fleeting thoughts of Nate for weeks, but they’ve dissipated since time has gone by.
Not anymore.
Hearing Nate’s voice is like an electric shock, and now Will can’t stop thinking about Nate's hands, his arms, his voice, his hidden smiles, his kind eyes… Fuck.
“Casady.”
He hurries to look up from the laptop. “Yes, sir?”
“Are you working, or are you daydreaming about titties?”
Bob has never been subtle.
Will stops himself from rolling his eyes and instead forces a genuine smile. “Sorry, sir. Didn’t drink enough coffee this morning is all.”
Bob nods. “Well, I’m going out to lunch with James, as you know. Is my car here?”
“It’s on the way. Should be out front any second.”
“Alright. See you when I get back. And, uh. I need you to find a new girl for me. A blonde this time. No older than... say, twenty-three.”
“Yes, sir.”
Bob starts to leave, but he turns back with a suggestive grin on his lips. “Oh, I almost forgot - I’m gonna need some more Mexican Valium this week. My supply is running out.”
Will bites his lip. “Noted.”
Bob disappears out the door, and Will returns his blank gaze to the spreadsheet on his screen. He thinks guiltily of the morning he met Nate - the only time he’s ever seen Nate with tears in his eyes. Will really needs to get promoted soon so he can stop drugging twenty-one year-old kids.
V.
He’s sitting on the patio of Menotti’s when he calls Nate back. It only rings three times before the boy picks up.
“Hello?” Nate asks breathlessly.
Will doesn’t respond; he’s learned that’s the only way to force Nate to talk.
“You called,” Nate states.
Will’s surprised that Nate sounds surprised. He remains silent.
“I… I’m glad you did. I didn’t think… you would. And I missed your - your voice. But, um.” The sound of his throat clearing comes over the line. “I was wondering if we could meet somewhere. Or - or not, that’s okay, too, if you just wanna. Do this on - on the phone or whatever. That’s fine, too. Um.”
He’s stumbling horribly over his words, and if Will wasn’t already so nervous, he would have thought it was way too fucking cute.
“So, do you… want… to do that?”
Will doesn’t know why, but he still doesn’t speak. The silence stretches over several seconds and then several more.
“Oh,” Nate mutters. He sounds… he sounds genuinely disappointed. “Okay, well, um. If you change your mind-”
“No, I’m…” He sighs. “I just don’t want this to end the same fucking way, you know?”
“It’s different now,” Nate says firmly.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Swear.”
Will glances at his watch. “Tomorrow,” he says. “Two o’clock.”
“Where?”
“Intelligentsia,” he answers. It’s a test. The coffee shop is not only on Abbott Kinney, but it’s also extremely popular.
Nate only sounds a little bit anxious when he replies, “Alright. I’ll be there.” Will starts to hang up, but he hears Nate rush out, “Thank you.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Will responds curtly, and he ends the call.
VI.
When Will walks into Intelligentsia fifteen minutes early, Nate is already sitting at a table with a steaming drink clutched tightly between his hands. Will knew Nate would get there ahead of time - he always does - but he didn’t think Nate would be there a quarter of an hour before two. He's under the impression Nate typically arrives five or so minutes ahead of time. He wonders how long Nate has already been sitting there.
Nate nods as Will walks up to him. Will wordlessly sets his bag on the tabletop.
“Hey,” Nate says.
Will gives him a tight smile and glances at the one drink on the table.
“I didn’t know what you wanted,” he explains.
“’s fine.”
Nate passes him a twenty, and Will accepts it and heads down to the counter. He orders a big, expensive coffee and a chocolate croissant that he doesn’t intend to eat. He just wants to spend the money. He’s still angry, he realizes. He wasn't aware of that before.
When he comes back, he passes Nate the change. Nate doesn’t count it, just slips it into his pocket. As Will breaks a piece off the edge of the pastry and pops it into his mouth, just for the sake of something to do, he watches cooly as Nate squirms under his gaze.
“I really, really like you,” Nate blurts.
Will’s eyebrows shoot up before he can stop them. He doesn't know where he'd expected Nate to begin, but it certainly isn't there.
“What I did… sucked. But I had to do it. I’m not taking that back.”
Will is silent, processing Nate’s words. Nate looks even more serious than he usually does, so Will is sure to pay extra attention.
“But I want things to be different moving forward. I liked being with you. I liked… well, everything about you.”
He’s blushing, but he’s still talking, which is a good sign. And Will feels all warm and mushy inside, which isn’t so bad either.
"And you didn't deserve what I did. I'm sorry."
Will nods in acknowledgement, knowing that Nate will see the motion out of the corner of his eye.
“It doesn’t have to be such a big secret anymore,” Nate mutters, “if we do... you know. But I can’t let people in the gym find out. I can’t have this getting back to my dad.”
“I know.”
Nate looks into Will’s eyes for the first time, and Will sees fear. Just fear.
“Nate,” he says, taken aback a little. He slides his hand over Nate’s, and Nate turns his palm. Will thinks he’s pulling away, but he’s actually moving so he can get a better grip.
“Jay’s cool with it,” Nate continues, seeming a little calmer now that Will’s physically touching him, “but he warned me that my dad won’t be.” Nate huffs.
“Which you already knew,” Will fills in.
Nate nods.
“Well. What if we forget about that for a while?”
Nate looks at Will hopefully.
“We’ll just… test the fucking waters, yeah?”
The corners of Nate's lips actually turn up. “Okay.” He casts his eyes down at his drink.
Will grins at the sight of his smile. “God, Nate, I missed you.”
“Yeah, I… I missed you, too.”