Chapter Text
They say true love means letting the person you love be happy even when you’re not part of that happiness.
So is wanting to be a part of that happiness even when said person is already happy when you’re not in it not considered true love?
It is not seldom that Kyungsoo asks himself this.
Kyungsoo likes Chanyeol.
Loves Chanyeol. A lot.
Loves Chanyeol as in warm hugs and chaste kisses and bed snuggles, not loves Chanyeol as in friendly shoves and inside jokes and all the other things that goes under platonic.
Chanyeol does hug Kyungsoo from time to time. Sometimes it’s so sudden when they’re on stage and Kyungsoo goes stiff before grinning a happy, happy smile. Sometimes it’s when Kyungsoo is preparing for dinner in the kitchen and Chanyeol will snake his arms around Kyungsoo’s middle, swaying Kyungsoo along as Chanyeol looks down at the fried rice in the pan. Other times are more of random big hug attacks that involve Chanyeol dumping his gigantic self above Kyungsoo’s smaller form from the back and Kyungsoo squeaks but doesn’t glare.
Chanyeol doesn’t kiss Kyungsoo. But he does whisper too close to Kyungsoo’s ear that Kyungsoo can feel the warmth of his breath despite the chill of performing on stage in front of millions of fans. Kyungsoo’s eyes go impossibly wide whenever Chanyeol talks to him too excitedly his face gets too close into Kyungsoo’s personal space. It’s a habit that Chanyeol has. Kyungsoo always goes noticeably red and so he steps back almost immediately.
They don’t get much sleeping time as idols. But when it’s a little past twelve and the night is too quiet but all of the channels are only playing horror movies when Kyungsoo tries to find one to lull himself to sleep, he drags himself to Chanyeol’s room. Chanyeol doesn’t look at Kyungsoo, lids perfectly closed and breathing composed, but drags an enveloping arm around Kyungsoo when Kyungsoo slips under Chanyeol’s comforter.
Kyungsoo loves Chanyeol heaps and his insides jump in delight whenever Chanyeol does these things, but Kyungsoo can always find his heart drown in disappointment right after because he knows for sure that he’s not the only one Chanyeol is doing these things to.
Chanyeol is the perfect height for Kris and Kris is the perfect height for Chanyeol. Kris slings his lanky arm around Chanyeol’s shoulders so easily whenever K and M get to promote on one stage and the two towers are standing beside each other.
Chanyeol smiles into Yixing’s neck and corrects Yixing's Korean pronounciation.
Chanyeol grabs Baekhyun by the forearm when they’re trapped in a sea of fans and cameras in airports. Baekhyun throws jokes anywhere he is and Chanyeol laughs wholeheartedly at all of them.
Chanyeol and Jongdae joke around a lot, often with both ending up in a pile of laughter that are too loud and sometimes obnoxious. They throw pillows at each other, stuff feathers and confetti at each other’s faces and charge forward at one another in playful attacks.
Chanyeol ruffles Sehun’s hair and Sehun bathes him with cheeky smiles.
And Kyungsoo scowls internally because he wants Chanyeol to only look at him and do things with him and make him feel special.
Kyungsoo can be kind and joke around too. Kyungsoo is small and petite and gets lost in crowded places too and does actually appreciate a warm guiding hand wrapped around his wrist. And maybe, if Kyungsoo gets just a little bit taller (of course there is still hope), Chanyeol can slip his arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders comfortably like Kris always does to Chanyeol. Kyungsoo also–
“What are you thinking?” Chanyeol asks from his cup of vanilla smoothie with huge and innocently blinking eyes.
Kyungsoo looks up briefly from where he’s been staring at the plastic bag from the grocery store next door that is filled with snacks and instant meals the kids have requested for when Kyungsoo decided that the fridge is empty enough for a refill. Chanyeol comes along but isn’t much of a help because he never brings his wallet and Kyungsoo doesn’t have enough money to buy both the members’ requests and the ingredients he needs. Chanyeol has insisted that eating instant food once in a while is not unhealthy. Kyungsoo reminds himself to never regard the words coming out of Chanyeol’s mouth as sensible ever again.
“Nothing,” Kyungsoo tells Chanyeol and makes to take his untouched cup of iced chocolate. His hand stops to a halt when Chanyeol grabs him gently by the wrist.
“Are you still mad?” Chanyeol bends down in his chair to align his eyes with Kyungsoo’s, his expression going noticeably softer.
Kyungsoo raises his brows. How do you know? Kyungsoo thinks but blurts out instead, “I– I’m not mad.”
“You were mad because I chose to play with Baekhyun and Jongdae instead of watch the latest episode of Reply 1994 with you earlier this afternoon,” Chanyeol says with a pointed look but the upward tug on his lips speaks of warmth.
Kyungsoo frowns and is definitely not pouting. “You promised me that we’d watch it together,” Kyungsoo says as he plays with his fingers agitatedly, stealing a glance at Chanyeol before looking down. “It’s just that, it used to be just the two of us and now there are just so many of us and it feels like you don’t even talk to me anymore,” Kyungsoo says softly, voice almost coming out as a whisper, and ignores the tinge on his cheeks.
Chanyeol chuckles. “We talk everyday, Kyungsoo. Cute,” he exhales and releases his grip from Kyungsoo’s wrist. Kyungsoo jerks slightly when Chanyeol pinches his cheek, looking up almost immediately.
Kyungsoo is not cute. Kyungsoo is manly and has a very stern glare and is definitely not anywhere near cute.
But Kyungsoo finds himself liking the fact that Chanyeol has just said that he’s cute. Chanyeol thinks that Kyungsoo is cute. Chanyeol thinks that Kyungsoo is cute. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen significantly.
“I never get mad at you whenever you choose to sit beside Jongin in the dining table or with Tao during movie nights, or when you placed more slices of pork belly on Luhan’s plate than mine,” Chanyeol says, palm warm and resting on Kyungsoo’s cheek and Kyungsoo thinks of how ironic this is. Kyungsoo has always been the frightening one, the one with the stern stare and intimidating glare despite his narrow shoulders. Kyungsoo has always been the one disciplining the kids when Joonmyun can’t stand them anymore. Chanyeol is supposed to be the one with the happy wide eyes and huge grin. Chanyeol is supposed to joke around and make stupid comments and bother Kyungsoo whenever he gets the chance to. Chanyeol isn’t supposed to show how mature he is and how very immature Kyungsoo’s actions are because Kyungsoo is the mature one and he doesn’t understand.
“I don’t treat the rest like the way I treat you,” Kyungsoo chokes out and it’s true. Kyungsoo did spend the entire morning talking to Minseok and pointedly ignoring Chanyeol’s loud laughter and lame jokes. But he also did make Chanyeol his favourite banana pancakes which he clearly knows that Sehun and Jongin like too, but never attend to their begs and whines because Kyungsoo doesn’t simply make banana pancakes for anyone.
Chanyeol’s brows rise in amusement before his expression turns into a comprehensive one. “I don’t treat the others like how I treat you, either,” Chanyeol tells him.
Kyungsoo looks up. “Like what?”
“Like this,” Chanyeol says in a low and soft voice before leaning in and pressing his lips against Kyungsoo’s.
Chanyeol’s lips are slow and warm and soft and Kyungsoo can’t think of an occasion wherein his eyes are wider than they are now. The gentle press on his lips sends butterflies down his throat and into his heart and Kyungsoo only blinks repeatedly at Chanyeol’s closed eyes and the pretty, pretty lashes peeking out of them. Kyungsoo doesn’t lean in and doesn’t back away, body perfectly still as he takes in the feeling of plump lips against his and the gentle press of fingertips on his cheek.
Kyungsoo is still unmoving when Chanyeol pulls away, lids fluttering open and looking down lovingly at Kyungsoo. “Like this,” he repeats, fingers coming up to trace Kyungsoo’s jawline.
It’s not fair. “It’s not fair,” Kyungsoo says before his mind can even process properly. His lips feel weird and Kyungsoo wants to wet them with his tongue, but settles with biting the inside of his cheeks instead.
“You’re not fair,” Chanyeol says and leans in to press another chaste kiss on Kyungsoo’s lips.
Kyungsoo doesn’t exactly still this time. One half of his mind wants to push Chanyeol away because despite the fact the café is almost entirely empty, they’re clearly in public and this is not appropiate. The other half wants to kiss back and just lean in towards Chanyeol’s gentle touches.
Kyungsoo decides on the second. Chanyeol smiles through the kiss.
And Kyungsoo smiles too because Chanyeol thinks that Kyungsoo is special and Kyungsoo is happy with just that.