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Ever since Ankh had returned to his own body, he remember how much being a Greeed sucked. Everything was dull once again. Taste was bland or, if anything, bitter. Feeling was either painful or not painful. Sight was gray and warped and sound was fuzzy and muffled, like radio static.
He warily hoped that after a brief adjustment period, he would remember how he dealt with it all before. But then again, he was never like the other Greeed. He had always wanted MORE than them, wanted- something so simple, which he had for a while, but was ripped from under his nose by death.
He snorted to himself. Shingo was staring right at him, brows knitted in- confusion? Anger? Ankh couldn’t tell anymore. All he knew was that if that man were to be knocked unconscious at any moment by, say, a stray punch, then Ankh would have a reason to possess him once again. But he couldn’t do that anymore, and he know it. Unless Eiji decided to turn all maniacal and sealed all of Ankh away save for an arm. This was an unlikely and undesirable scenario, yet Ankh found it pass his cluttered mind in what mimicked a sliver of amusement.
“...Ankh,” A voice pulled Ankh from his thoughts and he brought his gaze to meet the voice’s owner.
“Ah?” He responded curtly to the man identical to him.
“You look like you are having an emotional crisis over there,” Shingo folded his hands under his chin. Damn. He knew Ankh’s mind too well now, he could read him like a book.
Ankh blinked hard and then turned away from Hina’s brother. “Pretty hard to have an emotional crisis when you don’t have feelings,”
“Ankh,” oh great, another voice joined in. Hearing so many voices that blended and swam together was so disorienting to him but he could at least recognize it as female. “Ankh are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m-” The blond whipped his head around but when he looked toward the speaker he saw that her face was an inch from his and he scooted back instinctively. Even so, the girl leaned in towards him which he responded to by scrunching his nose in obvious annoyance. Hina scanned his eyes like she always did when she tried to figure out what went on behind his cruel mask. Typical. But she never could figure it out, unlike Shingo.
“Ankh are you scared?”
Or maybe she could.
Ankh rushed forward and grabbed her by the neck. She jumped but didn’t make any more movements. Shingo stood up and yelled something to Ankh but he wasn’t listening.
“Why would I be scared?” He growled bitingly to the girl, staring daggers into her wide eyes. His grip tightened on her throat but Hina’s initial expression of shock had been replaced by one of concern.
A warm hand clasped around Ankh’s wrist and pulled his hand from her throat.
“You’re shaking,” Hina observed, holding Ankh’s Greeed hand in her own as though it were an animal she was examining. “I know you think you’re too tough to admit when you-”
Ankh tore his hand from Hina’s and stormed from the apartment, not even bothering to close the door. Those damn Izumis were too perceptive and annoying-
He kicked at a broken up chunk of asphalt and watched it clatter across the paved road.
He knew it was difficult to feel things anymore and even more difficult to distinguish between emotions but anger had always come naturally to Ankh. Only now he thought he might be feeling something else.
Ankh wasn’t sure what but little things made a little light somewhere in his heart dance around- almost like a woodpecker trying to peck its way through his chest, he mused. Sometimes when Hina smiled at him, or when she talked with him while he ate his meal at dinner, he would feel less angry. Almost calm, like her words were a lullaby that was putting him to sleep. This scared him immensely because he didn’t know what it was but just- something about HER. The annoying optimism or inexplicable strength? No… He had no idea. He cursed himself, thinking that some of Shingo’s attachment to her had been left over in his conscience.
But he sure as hell wouldn’t stoop so low as to ask Eiji about it. That would be yet another thing that he could dangle above Ankh’s head.
As he stalked into the Cous Coussier restaurant and up to the attic, he ignored the cooing of Chiyoko and even the rattling greetings of Eiji. He simply reached his nest, plopped down on the red satin sheet, and looked long and hard at the ceiling. He summoned a core from his arm and flicked it into the air, catching it again. The flicking then catching.
“What are you thinking about?” Eiji’s sudden appearance in the doorway startled Ankh. He caught the medal and flicked it into the air once again with a ‘hmph’. “You do that when you’re thinking, Ankh,” Eiji explained, pointing at the core as it once again flew into the air.
“Can’t I just think in peace?” Ankh replied dully.
“Not until you start earning your own stay.” Eiji scolded, sitting down on his own bed and kicking off his shoes.
“Huh.” Ankh was irritated at his sudden sass but kept thinking anyway.
It wasn’t until later that he came to the conclusion he was looking for. The night air crept in through the window which was cracked open and the breeze lifted the curtains slightly. Ankh thought of the way Hina had just taken his hand in hers without fear after he was about to squeeze her pretty little throat into a twig moments before. Hina didn’t seem to fear him anymore, his affect was wearing off and he didn’t like that.
He shifted on his perch, facing the wall.
She still cared for him after all he had done to her? Girl must not be right in the head.
And yet, here he was: the one who couldn’t get her out of his own head. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be able to feel anything, but now it was undeniable the way she haunted his deep thoughts. What was it? Then it hit him square between the eyes. Could it be the very thing that another Greeed had died in the search for feeling?
“Hey Eiji,” he called out to the man sleeping lightly on the bed across from him. He took a while to stir and sit up but groggily replied.
“What?”
“Remember when I said that being in love was like being an idiot?”
“...yeah?”
“...Well, maybe I am an idiot.”