Work Text:
“Hi,” Dipper said as he approached the nurse’s station, breathless from all but sprinting down the hallway, “I’m here to see Stanley and Stanford Pines.”
The nurse looked at him through a pair of retro cat’s eye frames. With how her hair was styled, in a bouffant, Dipper could have almost sworn he’d stepped through a time warp and ended up in the 1950s. The only clue that wasn’t the case was the bizarre muzak-style version of Sev’ral Timez being piped through the hospital PA system. It made for quite the incongruity in his head. “Friend or family?” she asked, staring him down.
Dipper gulped, even though it was a standard question. “F-family. They’re my great-uncles.”
The nurse stared blankly at him for a moment before recognition dawned in her eyes. “Oh, my gosh, you’re Dipper!” she said, awestruck. Dipper sighed and nodded. Even with Mayor Cutebiker’s “Never Mind All That” policy, the Pines name was still spoken almost reverently around Gravity Falls. Dipper assumed there were several people who’d attempted to visit Stan and Ford since they’d been admitted, from genuine well-wishers to those kooks who just wanted to take a selfie with the heroes of the town, even if they were comatose.
He shuddered as he remembered just why he’d come. Well, that wasn’t entirely true; he’d have come regardless. This was Stan and Ford, after all, two of the greatest people he’d had the honor of knowing. When he’d heard they’d taken ill and were unresponsive, he’d gotten into his car and just drove, only pausing for fuel and food. He’d spoken briefly with his sister and knew she was on her way as well, but he’d wanted to get here first. There was something he needed to do before she got there, though, something he needed to get off his chest. He cleared his throat, bringing the nurse out of her reverent gaze. “Oh!” she said, blushing at her…fangirling? Was that what she was doing? He thought so. “Um, they’re in room 618. If you go down this hallway,” she pointed to a hall to his right, “the elevator’s on the first right.”
Dipper gave her a small grin and thanked her, following her directions. The antiseptic hospital smell seemed to permeate everything: the paint on the walls, the inoffensive nature art prints, the waiting room chairs, the nurse’s hairdo…heck, he wouldn’t be surprised if the perfume and cologne samples in the waiting room magazines all had the same quality to them.
He reached the elevator and pushed the button for the sixth floor. As the car went up, Dipper went over what he wanted to say for the twenty-seventh time since he’d started the trip up. The crux of it was easy enough to remember, but when the crux of it was… He took a deep breath. No, the truth was this wasn’t him telling Stan and Ford something important as it was him being able to say it out loud to someone other than his reflection. He needed to actually say this at least once, to get it off of his chest. Maybe then he could finally move past it.
The doors parted and he stepped out, following a posted sign towards room 618. As he drew near, he saw the door was closed and came to a stop just outside. With his hand on the handle he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and entered.
The room looked like just about every other hospital room Dipper had ever seen, be it in person or on television. The walls were the same stark white, though he noticed that instead of one of the usual nature art pieces, a framed birds-eye view painting of the Mystery Shack was hanging on the wall. Several bundles of balloons and baskets of flowers sat along one side of the room, taking up so much space some of them were sitting in the chairs. Looking through the attached get well soon cards, he recognized the tiny and delicate handwriting of Tyler, the prim and proper cursive of Pacifica, the bold and all capitalized missive of Manly Dan, the cat dotted calligraphy of Lazy Susan, and what seemed like messages from the entire town.
The most impressive one sat on the table between the two beds, though. That one was a tiny hedge trimmed in the shape of something resembling a plesiosaur, possibly Nessie or even the Gobblewonker. Underneath it stood a five-by-seven picture frame with Soos, Melody, and their daughter. The handwriting was a bit smudged in places. Dipper assumed from tears as it read, “Please get well soon, Mr. Pines and Mr. Pines. The Mystery Shack would never be the same without you. XOXO Soos.”
Dipper finally took the time to look at his great-uncles. They were both lying perfectly still on their beds. He couldn’t even see any rapid eye movement. Neither of them were hooked up to breathing machines, but they did have EKGs beeping out the resting of their heartbeats in a steady rhythm. Dipper felt a pang in his chest at seeing them both looking so vulnerable.
Okay, Dipper, he told himself, don’t go losing your nerve now. You’re here, so say what you need to say.
He cleared his throat, the sound unnaturally loud against the beeping machines. “H-hi, Grunkle Stan…Grunkle Ford. I, uh…I came as quickly as I could once I heard. I know you can’t hear a word I’m saying, but that’s okay. I, uh…it’s actually good this way. Not to say that it’s good that you’re both sick, I mean…it makes what I have to say easier. Which isn’t to say I couldn’t tell you this in person, if I really wanted to…which…I don’t…and now…I’m rambling, aren’t I?” He chuckled, silently chiding himself for getting off track so quickly.
“What I mean is, there’s something that’s been bothering me for a while now. Something that part of me…is excited to have had happen, but that the rest of me knows could never really happen in a million years or across all the dimensions in the multiverse. Just the same, it’s been eating at me for the last several months and even just saying it out loud to myself doesn’t help. So I was thinking, if I could say it to another person, even if they can’t hear or respond to me, maybe it’ll finally let me move on from it. At least, I hope so.”
Dipper took a deep breath. “So here it is…I think I’m in love…with Mabel. No, that’s not true; I don’t think. I know I’m in love with her.”
He stood there, silent, letting the statement hang in the air for a moment. He looked at Stan and Ford, though they remained unchanged, exactly as he expected.
“It, uh…it really surprised me when I first realized it,” he went on. Now that he’d finally dropped the bombshell he felt part of the weight slip off his shoulders. “Although once I thought back, I think it shouldn’t have been. It was just so subtle that I didn’t see it until it bitch-slapped me in the face. Do you remember telling us that it was unnatural for siblings to get along as well as we do, Grunkle Stan? At twelve going on thirteen I didn’t think anything of it, but if you had said that maybe a year later it might have given me pause.”
He took one of the chairs, moving a couple of bouquets onto the floor, and sat down in between Stan and Ford. “After getting her out of Bill’s bubble, and after everything else that happened, I sort of became extra protective of her. Even home in Piedmont, anytime she left the house I’d get tense and offer to join her. Even when she was only going shopping with her girlfriends. I was…afraid to let her out of my sight. Almost like if I did, I’d never see her again.”
He looked down at the floor, saw his reflection staring up at him through the tile floor. He had a fleeting sense that this other Dipper was in an alternate, mirror universe, and wondered what might be going through that Dipper’s mind. Was he having the same crisis he was? “Usually, she was happy to have me join her, but of course there were times when she wanted to be on her own. And during those times, I had to fight to get myself to relax, that she’d return safe and sound like always. And she always did.”
Dipper sighed. “Here’s where it gets tricky,” he said, his voice gaining a small tremor, “because I’m not entirely sure precisely when it happened. It was probably so infinitesimally gradual that no one could have detected it by the naked eye. But the fear began to subside and my request to join became less about sating my fear and more out of genuine want. I enjoyed spending time with her. Really, I always did, even when I said I didn’t, but there was something more, something…ineffable. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at first.
“And then she brought home her first boyfriend. And when I felt…jealous…I began to realize what was happening.”
He brought his eyes up to look at Stan and Ford once more. Their visages remained utterly impassive. It was eerie. The beeping of the instruments was the only thing reassuring him that they were still alive. They looked so much older. The years had been kinder to Ford because of his strict regiment, which he maintained to this day, but even he was showing his age now.
“I denied it to myself, of course. What reason would I have to feel jealous about Mabel having a boyfriend? It’s gotta just be that I’m upset that he’ll probably be around all the time and it’ll get in the way of just hanging out with my twin. And it worked…until they broke up. And then I felt something different: elation. I couldn’t deny it anymore.
“But I still resisted saying or doing anything. I cut back on how much time I spent with her, but that only made me long for her even more. Finally, when we graduated and went to separate colleges I thought, this will take care of it. This will force me to get over her.
“That thought lasted until she called me a week into the term. Just hearing her voice was enough to keep those feelings alive. She’d commiserate with me that I still hadn’t found a girlfriend, buttering me up by saying how great a catch I was.” He let out a dry chuckle. “I doubt she’d say that if she knew the truth. And secretly I was glad that she never found another boyfriend. At least not one that she ever told me about.”
He stood up and turned around to look through the collection of balloons, gifts, and cards again. “A month ago, I finally worked up the nerve to admit it to myself in the mirror. That I was attracted to my twin sister. Like so many other things, I thought it might alleviate the growing burden in my mind. It didn’t. So when I got word that you two were…well, like this…I thought this might help, too. I thought saying it out loud to someone other than just myself, laying my soul bare, might have an effect.” He let out his breath. “But it hasn’t. I can already tell.
“Still,” he continued, turning back around to face his comatose uncles, “I’m glad that you’re not awake and can't actually hear—“ Dipper turned pale as he looked at Stan and Ford and saw their eyes open and looking directly at him. His heart began pounding in his chest. How much did they hear? Oh, crap, they’re not saying anything. I’M not saying anything. This is horrible! He coughed, breaking the silence. “G-g-grunkle Stan! Grunkle F-Ford!” he said. “How…how long h-have you—“
“Been awake?” Ford asked, finishing Dipper’s question for him. Dipper nodded mutely. “We weren’t asleep.”
Dipper gaped at him. “Wh-what?!” he asked, incredulous. “B-but Wendy said—“
“We were comatose,” Stan replied, “but we woke up last night. The doctors are just keepin’ us here fer observation.”
“Wendy and Soos were here right away and said you and Mabel were on your way,” Ford went on. “They assumed you’d go to the house first, though. I expect no one called you because you were on the road and didn’t want you to risk an accident.”
Dipper continued to stare at his great-uncles. How could they speak to him so nonchalantly after he’d made such a damning confession?
“Relax, kid, before you give yourself an aneurysm and end up in here with us,” Stan said. “Sit back down and breathe.” Dipper did, fairly collapsing into the chair and looking back down at mirror Dipper, who was experiencing a similar shock in his universe it seemed.
“How…how are you not furious at me?” he finally managed to ask. “I just…I just told you I’m crushing on Mabel! Why aren't you disgusted at me? Or hell, even that old parental standard: you’re not angry at me, just disappointed. Why aren’t you judging me?!”
“Dipper,” Ford said gently, “look at us.”
Lip trembling, Dipper willed himself to look up at them and gaped again. Both Stan and Ford had reached a hand out towards one another and were clasped in between the beds. That wasn’t what made him stare, though. It was the way they were holding each other’s hand. The way Ford’s gripped Stan’s and the way Stan’s thumb traced a path back and forth along Ford’s knuckles. He looked from their hands to Ford’s face, then Stan’s. “Are you telling me…?”
“You’re not alone, kid,” Stan replied. Dipper felt a tremendous wave of relief wash over him. It didn’t eradicate all his fears, but it did take care of the most immediate of them. He didn’t have to worry about being judged by them. What’s more, he now knew he could trust them with his secret. “The question now is,” Stan continued, “what are you going to do now?”
Dipper blinked, confused. “What do you mean? I…said it out loud to you guys. I mean, yeah, I wasn’t expecting you to be awake to hear it, but I got it off my chest—“
“And you admitted that it didn’t help,” Ford countered. “So…what will you do now?”
Dipper thought and thought…but could come up with nothing. “I don’t know,” he said, defeated again.
“I have an idea,” Stan said, causing Dipper’s ears to perk up. He looked at his great-uncle expectantly. “Admit it again…to her.”
“Are you crazy?!” Dipper asked, appalled.
“Heh, maybe,” Stan replied. “The jury’s out on that score. But seriously, kid, this’ll eat you alive if you let it.” He looked over and Ford, who looked back at him. “We know how it feels and I think I speak for Sixer when I say we don’t want that for you.”
Dipper gulped. “I…I don’t know, Grunkle Stan,” he said. “I mean…you and Ford are…well, you’re both guys, so…you know, you can’t get each other pregnant.”
“Not in this dimension, at least,” Ford quipped, drawing a laugh from Stan.
Dipper blushed and sweat began to pop out of his brow. “B-but this is me and Mabel here,” he persisted. “E-even if we did…” His blush brightened as he realized he was implying he and his sister might have sex. “Th-that would be too risky.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Dipper,” Ford said. “And besides, there are more ways to express one’s feelings than what can be done in bed.”
“Hey,” Stan retorted, “I never hear you complainin’!” Dipper buried his face in his hands, mortified at what he was hearing.
“That said,” Ford continued, unperturbed, “you may want to decide quickly.” Dipper looked at him quizzically. “Mabel should be here very soon.”
“WH-WHAT?!” Dipper asked, panicking. “No, no, nononononononononono. I can’t do this. I can’t tell her the truth. She’ll hate me.”
“Kid,” Stan interjected, “you’re smarter than this. Take a second and think. Sixer and I both had these feelings.”
Dipper thought about it for a moment. “You mean…she might…?”
Stan shrugged. “I mean, I don’t know for sure but…this is Gravity Falls. Stranger things have happened.”
At that moment, they could hear footsteps coming quickly down the hallway. Dipper bit his lip, still conflicted. At last, Ford put his metaphorical foot down.
“Dipper, if you don’t at least say something that’ll get you two talking about it, we’ll do it for you.”
Dipper stared, scandalized. “You wouldn’t!”
“Life is too short, Dipper,” Ford said simply.
Before Dipper could come up with a response, the door opened and everyone turned to see who entered. Sure enough, it was Mabel, just as breathless as Dipper had been when he arrived, concern edging all her features until she saw everyone. “Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford!” she said, fear dropping away and replaced by joy. “You’re both awake!” She turned to her brother. “And Dipper! You got here before me.”
She wrapped her twin in a hug. Dipper tensed for a brief moment, but allowed himself to return the hug, finding the contact relaxing. Like it was a natural state for him to be in. “Yeah,” he said, “I had some business to take care of. But I’m glad you’re here.”
“I’m glad, too,” Mabel replied. “I’ve missed you.”
“Me, too.”
“In fact,” Mabel went on, “there’s something I think I need to talk to you about later.”
Dipper paused. Could it be? “Actually…I do, too.”