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Kurt Hummel didn’t mind turning thirty. But of course he wasn’t stupid enough to say so. Because what he did care about was that his husband, his family and his friends were so solicitous to make sure he didn’t care about the big 3-0. Which meant that his family flew out to New York for him, his friends threw him a surprise party that wasn’t a surprise at all, he got the best presents and the best martinis and the most delicious cheesecake.
And he would always enjoy that, whether he was 20, 30 or 60.
And after everyone went home, drunk and all partied-out, he got to drop down on his and Blaine’s bed and have his husband work him open and fuck him into the mattress in all the best ways.
Afterwards, they just lay there, Blaine carding a hand through his hair, all mellow and pliant and still a bit tipsy.
That’s when Kurt started giggling.
“Mmhh, you happy, birthday boy?”
Blaine’s voice was all raspy and sexy and he pressed a kiss into Kurt’s hair. Kurt tried to reign in his laughter, he did, but he just had an amazing birthday surrounded by everyone he loved, he was tipsy and exhausted and he couldn’t stop.
So instead of answering, he pressed his face into Blaine’s chest, his giggles turning into outright laughter.
“Oh god, what’s gotten into you? Did I say something weird when I came? You know I have no control over myself when you do that thing with your hips.”
Kurt huffed out another laugh, taking deep breaths to calm down.
When he looked up at his husband, Blaine was watching him with amused curiosity.
“No, no, you didn’t. Just the usual “Kurt, Kurt, you are a sex god, just like that, unnngh””, he imitated in his best Blaine-voice, starting to giggle again at Blaine’s affronted expression and kissing his chest in apology.
“I do not sound like that.”
Kurt looked up again, smirking and kissing away Blaine’s pout.
“Of course not. And that’s not what I was laughing about anyway.”
Blaine just quirked an eyebrow in question and Kurt grinned at him.
“I just remembered the sex talk you made my dad give me back in the day.”
Blaine wrinkled his nose. “I thought we had a deal not to talk about parents while we were in bed.”
Kurt laughed again, licking Blaine’s nipple just to be contrary and revelling in the gasp he received in return.
“Then you shouldn’t have made dad give me a sex talk, should you?”
Blaine pinched his side in reply, making Kurt squirm away from him.
“Nooo, come back”, Blaine exclaimed and pulled him closer by the wrist, tucking Kurt comfortably into his side. “Now why did you laugh thinking about that talk? Because the way you’ve talked about it, it was more traumatizing than funny.”
Kurt sighed, relaxing more fully into Blaine. “That’s mostly to make you do stuff for me because it was your fault. But I just remembered that my dad said I just shouldn’t have sex until I’m thirty and how it would be a nice gift to myself.”
Blaine snorted indelicately, tightening his grip on Kurt’s hip. “That sounds like something Burt would say.”
Kurt grinned and nodded.
“Exactly. And I just thought it would be kind of funny to call him now, in the hotel, and tell him I finally enjoyed this extraordinary gift with you. That we waited all these years for this day and finally consummated our marriage. That his little boy is finally all grown up. What do you think?”
Kurt could feel Blaine shaking his head above him, his chin brushing against Kurt’s hair with the movement.
“I think that would be terribly funny if Burt hadn’t walked in on us at least half a dozen times over the last ten years.” His voice was all fake sympathy. “The ship has sailed, honey.”
Biting Blaine in the shoulder was a just punishment, in Kurt’s opinion. “That’s a terrible thing to say to an old man.”
This time it was Blaine who squirmed away, laughing at him.
“You’re not old. And don’t think I don’t know that you put up a performance with the whole “woe is me, I’m so old” act.”
Kurt stuck out his tongue at his husband, but his heart was swelling. Blaine knew him like no one else. It was a good feeling.
“I’m kind of glad I married you.”
“I’m kind of glad we didn’t wait till you turned thirty to have sex.”
Kurt huffed out another giggle, scooting closer to Blaine.
“I’m kind of glad that you have to love me no matter how old and wrinkly I am.”
“I’m kind of glad that you don’t get older, you only get hotter.”
They were both giggling now, lying on their sides and facing each other.
“Happy birthday, husband”, Blaine whispered before kissing him.
Kurt smiled against his lips and pressed closer.
A happy birthday indeed.