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Louis knew the day was going to be a bad one not soon after he woke up. His diaper had leaked all the way through, leaving him cold and uncomfortable with wet pajama bottoms. It was embarrassing, the smell of pee overtaking his crib. His chest also felt awfully tight, making him slightly breathless.
Looking through the bars of his crib, the baby was mildly irritated to see that Niall’s crib was empty, meaning that he was already awake and probably downstairs with their daddy. It wasn’t fair, that Niall got to sleep with the side of his crib down. He could go anywhere he liked, whereas Louis was trapped for the whole night!
The only thing Louis could do was let out a high pitched wail, eager for his daddy to come and rescue him from the crib and his wet diaper.
Like magic, Harry came running up to the nursery. Louis was pleased to see his daddy, sitting up and ratting at the bars like a prisoner.
“Out Daddy, let me out!”
Harry chastised his demand. “Louis, we use our manners in this household. Please ask me nicely.”
Louis sighed. “Please Daddy, let me out. I’m all wet!”
His daddy noticed the leakage and his eyes widened. “Shoot!” He muttered, lowering the side of the crib and taking the irritated baby out of the mess. Louis fidgeted as he was stripped completely naked and set on the changing table.
While cleaning his privates and thighs, Harry patted the baby’s tummy. “Sorry Lou, you were so sleepy and cozy earlier this morning, Daddy didn’t even consider checking your diaper.”
Louis forgave his daddy since he loved him so much.
“Look at that, it looks like we’ve avoided a rash,” Harry said cheerfully as he used the thick sticky diaper cream. “Let’s get you all dressed and ready for breakfast.”
Louis sucked two of his fingers, trying to stifle a cough that was building up due to the tightness of his chest. “Daddy, can we have muffins?”
Harry finished taping up the new diaper. “Sorry love, it’s omelets today.”
Omelets weren’t that bad. “O’tay,” He muttered from around his fingers.
“Right then,” Harry lifted Louis off the table, leaving him in just a diaper. “First we’ll get you some nice medicine to make the yuckies go bye-bye, and then we’ll get you an omelet.”
Louis scowled, because his daddy always knew about his yucky chest….About his asthma.
Asthma was bad .
It wasn’t a tummy bug, or a stuffy nose. No, asthma was something that never went away. It was a constant problem, always showing up and ruining the best moments of the day.
There were days where Louis forgot about having asthma, but unfortunately those days were far and few inbetween. More often than not, Louis woke up with his chest feeling all funny and tight. His daddy would come in and rub Louis’ tummy, and then he’d ask if his chest “had the yuckies,” which was almost always yes. Sometimes Louis lied and said no, but his daddy was hard to fool, so he hardly ever believed him.
His daddy always made him take medicine. Sometimes in the morning, or out at the shopping center, the playground, Lee-Lee’s house, and always before night-night time.
Sometimes when Louis was having a lot of fun playing with his friends, the asthma would make his chest start to feel yucky. He tried to tell it to go away, but the asthma never listened to him, because asthma is mean . Then the play group workers make Louis take a “rest,” and he had to take his medicine and sit by himself while everyone else played.
Sometimes if he coughs too much, they call his daddy, and then he and Niall have to go home early.
One time Niall got sick, and he had a bad cough. Louis had mistaken it for asthma, and he actually got a little bit excited, because he wouldn’t be the only one with it anymore. But then his daddy has explained that no, Niall didn’t have asthma, he just had a chest cold. Sure enough, Niall was all better within a few days.
Louis had then felt awfully bad for hoping that Niall had asthma too. He wouldn’t ever want his brother to have something so yucky.
Back to the present, the very last straw was later in the day, after Louis and Niall tried to ask their daddy for a pet kitty. He’d shaken his head and sadly informed them that a kitty might make Louis’ asthma worse because of its fur, so they couldn’t right now. That had hit him really hard.
“Stupid, dumb, stupid, m-mean!” He grumbled to himself, kicking one of his toy cars as he stomped around the playroom. Niall watched somberly from his seat on the play-mat.
Unfortunately for Louis, his language was heard by Harry.
“I hope I’m not hearing bad words coming out of that mouth,” His daddy said, face stern.
“Sorry Daddy,” Louis automatically apologized, “But it is stupid!”
“What’s stupid, Lou?”
“All of the yuckies in my chest!” Louis replied. “All the asthmas that’s inside there! It’s stupid and mean and I hate it!”
Harry’s face softened. “I know baby, it is mean. But we still don’t use naughty words.”
Louis felt his lip quiver. “I don’t want it Daddy. I ask very nicely for it to go ‘way. I say please, because I want a kitty, but I can’t because it doesn’t listen to me!”
“C’mere lovie, you’re getting yourself too worked up,” His daddy said. “I want you to listen to me. I didn’t say we’d never get a kitty, I said not right now. Do you know what we’re going to do right now instead?”
Naturally being a curious baby, Louis blinked up at his Daddy. “What?”
“We’re all going to have strawberry popsicles.”
Louis giggled, because that was the last thing he thought his daddy would say.
As he was picked up, Louis nuzzled his nose against his daddy’s soft cheek, grateful to have been adopted by somebody so perfect.
Louis’ asthma was first diagnosed when he went to the Adoption Center. Chronic illnesses such as those sort often fully emerged once a person fell into their classification role.
Littles were already so vulnerable to begin with. Sometimes it terrified Harry to death. There were still some nights when he’d wake up in a cold sweat, having to immediately go to the nursery and listen to both his babies sleeping safe and sound in their cribs. Hearing Louis’ gentle, steady breathing for a few minutes would eventually calm his fearful thoughts.
It was so difficult to not be able to do anything about the asthma. The medicine helped a great deal, but it could never cure the problem. It wasn’t fair, that his poor baby had such a hard time doing something that should be simple: breathing!
An even worse factor was that despite Louis being diagnosed with ‘Mild Persistent Asthma’, it was far from mild at times, but always quite persistent.
Harry had a plethora of baby books that tried to explain asthma, but it was such a complicated illness. While he felt that Louis knew enough to be aware that his lungs were different than most peoples, he also feared that he would never be able to make Louis understand as much as he wanted him to.
One of the hardest questions to handle was why . Louis asked him again and again, ‘why do I have asthma Daddy?’ only to be met with unsatisfactory answers. Even as a little, Louis was too smart to fall for the ‘because you’re special’ or ‘unique’ responses. Asthma was a negative in his life, not a positive.
They had come a long way with his medicine though. In the early days, Louis used to kick up a massive fuss over his nebulizer and baby inhaler. Thankfully the routine of it eventually made things a little calmer overtime. If there was anything that Harry had learned from being a Daddy, it was that routine was key to a lot of things. Stick to the same bedtime each night, the same meal times, the same rules...having a routine kept babies calmer and more collected.
There were still a few occasions when Louis would grow fussy over his medicine, but that was to be expected, as he was only a baby, and therefore it was normal for him to cry.
Nick was a huge help, ever since he had come into their lives. Being a doctor, Harry automatically felt that Louis was safer just by having Nick around him. As a children and Little doctor though, Nick also had experience with explaining the logistics of illnesses to his patients.
Louis was coddled by the rest of Harry’s family too. While nobody ever played the favorites game, they still were well aware that Louis sometimes needed extra care. He was a very active baby, and would run himself into an asthma fit if he wasn’t stopped early enough, especially when he was playing outdoors or with friends.
Both of Harry’s babies had their own quirks and needs. Niall had such anxiety over his claustrophobia. Just the other week he had accidently got stuck inside the pantry, prompting a complete and frightening breakdown. It was the same with needles and doctors, which was ironic with Nick’s occupation and all. Then again, Niall had never seen Nick in his doctor’s attire, so there was no way knowing what would happen if he ever did.
Niall himself was a big factor of helpfulness when it came to Louis’ asthma. Although Niall’s knowledge of the illness was along the same lines as Louis’, he still understood that his brother’s lungs and breathing were different than other babies’, and so they had to be careful.
He didn’t ever treat Louis any different due to the asthma though. It was confusing for him in the beginning, when Louis had first joined their family, but he had grown used to it quickly.
As for Harry, in the beginning he had been a mess on the inside, though he’d kept a calm composure for the boys’ sakes.
Panicking came with the job of being a Daddy though. Harry panicked during the time he’d lost Niall at the Country Fair. He’d panicked when Louis got his head stuck in the neighbor’s fence. He’d panicked when Niall shut his finger in the car door.
To make the point more clear, he panicked a lot.
But that panic was balanced with something else; Harry always put his emotions aside and used his head first. Panicking out loud would only panic his boys. If he cried everytime Louis had an asthma attack, that would only result in scaring his boys (though it was fine to cry privately after they were asleep, which he sometimes did do).
Louis’ asthma brought out a lot of Harry’s protective instincts, he had to admit.
One time when they were at the park, Harry had blew up at a man who was smoking there. It was a non-smoking park mind you. Harry detested cigarettes anyway, because they were unhealthy to be around period. But they were especially a danger to his baby. To Louis, cigarette smoke was basically an invitation to a serious asthma attack.
That was why he actually used some choice words, as well as called out the man for taking up such a nasty habit when he had a baby girl of his own playing on the swings a few feet away. Thankfully the altercation didn’t turn physical. Harry realized later that he might have overreacted (and it was his own fault when Niall kept shouting ‘prick’ on the way home).
Still, he couldn’t help but feel extra protective.
Just like how he felt about Niall, if something ever happened to Louis, Harry would never be able to forgive himself.
Niall loved being a brother.
He also loved having a brother.
The blonde baby could remember very clearly when Louis had first joined their family.
“Guess what today is, baby?” Harry asked, eyes shining as he smiled down at him.
“Sister!” Niall sang, clapping his hands together. There was no way he could forget. He’s been thinking about his baby sister for about forever now, ever since his Daddy first told him about her.
Now Niall wouldn’t be the only baby around. He would have someone just like him to play with at home. They would play cars, dolls, and probably even dinosaurs. Niall would show her all of the fun things to do around the house, like where to find old crackers and pennies under the cushions, and the swings out back.
“You’re going to be a good brother, aren’t you?” Harry kissed his cheek. “My perfect little boy.”
Niall beamed up at him. “When’s she here, Daddy? I want her now!”
“I’ve got to go find her, lovely.” Harry said. “Lee-Lee is going to come play with you while I’m out. If everything goes well, she’ll be here this afternoon.”
Sure enough, later that day Harry had returned, along with Niall’s new baby sibling.
“My sister!” Niall smiled at her upon their first meeting. What a pretty baby she was, with lovely blue eyes and soft brown hair. It wasn’t super long, but lengthy enough to be growing curls at the base of her neck.
His daddy laughed. “No sweetheart, Louis isn’t your sister. There’s been a change. You have a brother now!”
“What?” Niall gasped, though he bounced excitedly. “A brother? A brother!”
“That’s right,” Harry set the new baby on the ground. Niall’s new brother, Louis, looked around at his surroundings. He caught Niall’s gaze and smiled back, though his hand still clutched onto the front of Harry’s sweater apprehensively.
“Hi Lou- Lou-ee!” Niall greeted, struggling a little over the name’s pronunciation. “My brother!”
Having a brother was just as good as, if not better, than having a sister. Niall had gained a playmate, for one. Louis was much more than a playmate though. He was a brother, which meant they were family. They got to share their daddy, and have Christmases and Easter’s together. They got to share a room, toys, and even clothes.
Niall loved Louis.
Being a brother meant that he was also a protector. Niall’s worst fear was to see Louis sick or hurt, just like he knew his brother felt the same way about him.
Louis got sick a lot more than Niall did, except it wasn’t a ‘sick’ sick, it was a sick called asthma. Daddy had explained to Niall a lot about what it was. Louis had trouble breathing sometimes, so they had to be careful when they were playing.
Sometimes, even if they were careful, Louis’ asthma still hurt him.
Niall knew how much Louis’ asthma scared their Daddy, which was why he tried his best to protect his brother. For example, if they were playing a chasing game and Louis started to breathe a little funny, Niall would convince Louis that he wanted to play a slower game, like trucks in the mud puddle outside, or fingerpaints.
Because Niall loved Louis so much, he would always protect him. Even if Niall still didn’t fully understand why Louis’ asthma would never go bye-bye forever, he would still do his best to fight it, for both Louis and his Daddy’s sake.