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Somehow, he had never contemplated that they would eventually, inevitably come in contact with demons.
He’d just been... so busy getting used to this life, to actually feeling happy for the first time in... centuries, it had never occurred to him.
And yet at the same time some deep-rooted instincts resurfaced now that he was back where he belonged.
They were working a case in Wisconsin. Possession was a possibility, so Dean had drawn a demon trap in front of the door and their motel room.
Crowley opened it and automatically stopped.
Dean turned around.
“Hey, did you get the grub...” he trailed off and laughed.
“Once more for old times sake?”
“I forgot” he grumbled, passing over the devil’s trap like it was nothing because that was exactly what it was to him, these days.
“You used to put me in one often enough”.
“Well you kind of deserved it in the beginning”.
He rolled his eyes.
It turned out that possession was not only a possibility, but the solution, and soon enough they had a black-eyed son of a bitch in another devil’s trap.
Crowley should have known he’d come after him.
“Your Majesty” he snarled, “oh how they might have fallen. I didn’t believe you’d come back when I first heard of it”.
“Never count him out, isn’t that the same mistake all of you made from the beginning?” Dean asked.
“Of course you would say that, his number one fan boy...”
“I thought it was the other way around” Crowley said, “you should get your stories straight”.
“Oh, it speaks. And here I thought these days you are just the Winchester’s attack dog”.
“Not a good insult” Cas said. “It was levelled at me too once, you know”.
Crowley grinned at him.
“Want me to do the honours?”
After the exorcism, he reflected that now every demon in Hell must know and believe that he had returned.
And just like that, Crowley wasn’t just a member of the time anymore.
He was a security risk.
But when he brought it up, the boys wouldn’t hear of him leaving.
“Come on Crowley” Dean said, “We’re all targets here. You’re no special just because you were King, once”.
“But they hate me especially...”
“Because they like us so much better?” Cas asked.
“I just... I don’t want you to get into trouble because of me”.
“Have you met us?” Sam said. “We got into trouble long before we ever met you”.
If there was one thing he would never have seen coming, it was the Winchester more or less ordering him to stay with them.
Juliet whined from somewhere next to Dean.
He reached to scratch her behind the ears, earning a happy bark.
Little traitor.
“Guess I’ll stay, then” he said lightly.
But he was still worried. Naturally he’d be a target for every single one of the whiny nothings he’d had the displeasure to command for several years.
He should have known better when Ramiel hadn’t wanted the job. Yes, all the Princes of Hell had chosen to leave eventually, but still – what demon wouldn’t even be tempted by power? He’d been an idiot.
It had all laid him to his room in the bunker, though, and he was reasonably sure he’d never feel as content anywhere else.
So when Juliet came slinking into his room later that night, he sighed, patted the spot on the bed next to him and said, “Don’t worry girl, we’re not leaving”.
Maybe some of the demons, the smarter ones, had counted on it. Maybe they had suspected that he would stay, that even as a human he was too selfish to leave.
The point was, he should have known. He should have foreseen what would happen.
But instead, he went on a milk run one day (quite literally; Dean had cut down his drinking considerably, to their relief) and later woke up.
And yet he didn’t.
He slowly became aware. That was probably the most accurate description he could give.
He became aware, and he was moving.
No; his body was moving; he had little to do with it.
In fact, he had absolutely nothing to do with it.
Why was he walking back to his car when he definietyl wanted to stop?
And then he realized.
That’s right, a voice chuckled in his mind, Good Day, Your Highness.
“What did you do to my tattoo?”
I cut through it. It was easy enough once I had you.
“Let go off me right this instant!”
Really? You think it will be that easy? Oh no.
“What are you going to do?”
What do you think? You’re the one who betrayed us, and now you’ve turned human too. Pathetic. I’ll skin the Winchesters and their angel alive, and you’ll watch.
“The Hell I will”.
Ah, yes, Hell. You hated it from the beginning, didn’t you? And we were so stupid as to fear you. You. Look at you.
“I’d rathe you not look in a mirror; you’d only realize just how good I look”.
You think you can be sassy? To me?
Crowley was thinking fast. While he was human, he didn’t think of himself as quite so average as to be unable to break through one pithy demon’s control. It couldn’t be just any minion possessing him.
“Elliott?”
He’d been one of the strongest black-eyed demons he’d met. Crowley had always been careful around him, lest he suddenly grew a backbone; and it seemed he now considered himself superior to him.
What a pathetic piece of –
I have access to your thoughts. You know that, right? To your every memory. Oh my, we do have a terribly sweet spot for the elder Winchester after all, don’t we?
“None of your business”.
It is my business. I have to play you convincingly, you see. I don’t think it’ll be hard; they don’t care enough to pay attention to your every move anyway.
He hated that the insult stung. It was just normal for demons to go after one’s insecurities, and yes, on his bad nights he still worried that the boys were just biding their time before kicking him out when he least expected it.
But he couldn’t allow himself to be distracted.
He couldn’t break through the control, at least for now.
It was time for a tactical withdrawal.
So that was exactly what he did. He built a small wall in a corner of his mind where he could hide behind, even as the demon (and when had he started to think of demons like this anyway? He remembered realizing it, back in the other world, when the other campers had talked about “us” and “them” and he’d suddenly found himself thinking of himself as part of “us”) taunted him some more.
They only took you in just to drop you in a short while, just you wait for it. I wish I could wait and watch, but that’s not really my style.
“Yes, I remember, your style is to cower before whoever’s in charge and hope not to get killed” Crowley said to distract while he was busy building his shields.
Look who’s in charge now.
Crowley found himself suddenly thankful for his habit of killing his own meat suits rather quickly after taking possession of them. This was one of the worst things he had ever experienced, and he remembered every second of his transformation into a demon.
It was just... disconcerting, not being in control.
I think I’ll keep Dean for last, Elliott said, trying to taunt him from his hiding place. I’ll make him watch me killing all the others, knowing it’s your fault, and then –
He didn’t listen.
He had better things to do.
Alright, so he had no control over his body at large; but as long as he was careful, and Elliott was still boasting...
Yes. There. He could wriggle the fingers of his left hand without him noticing – not much, you’d think if you didn’t know better.
But Crowley did.
Because he was certain that Elliott was making the same mistake as so many had demons and villains and whoever else had crossed the Winchesters’ path had made over the years.
He was underestimating them.
Especially Dean.
There was a reason he had never tried possessing someone close to them.
And so he let Elliott babble on and relaxed. For now.
He felt it when he entered the motel room.
He’d always known when the boys were near.
“Hello, boys”.
Alright, that wasn’t even a bad impression.
“Still side-stepping the devil’s trap, I see”.
“Old habits die hard, Squirrel.”
Crowley realized he couldn’t tell if Dean was suspicious or not.
If he’d had control of his throat, he would have swallowed.
The evening went on as it normally would have, but he desperately tried to tap Not me in Morse code against his thigh. He couldn’t do it all the time, of course, and he hoped that none of them would be stupid enough to ask.
Yes, he might just be a simple demon, but he could still do more than enough damage.
As far as he could tell, the boys were acting normal, which of course might just have been a ploy, but how was he supposed to know when he couldn’t see anything?
This was rather annoying.
Elliott now and then tried to get a reaction out of him, but stopped when he gave him nothing.
Demons. Pitiful, really.
But still dangerous.
And so he kept doing Morse code in irregular intervals.
Not me.
Not me.
Not me.
It seemed like they arrived back at the bunker, Elliott happily registering he was in “the Winchesters’ sanctuary” while Crowley swore if he even touched his book collection he’d kill him.
But then something strange happened.
“Crowley” Dean called out, sounding annoyed, “Can you please take your puppy for a walk? She’s about to wreak havoc in the library”.
Juliet was a very well-trained hell hound. She’d never dare to make a mess.
And Dean knew that. Very well.
Crowley closed his eyes (or would have, at least, if he hadn’t been imprisoned in his own mind) and conjured up the emotion of fond annoyance Elliott was probably expecting.
Ah, yes, your dog. Might be tempted to kill her, but that would give me away a little too early in the game, don’t you think?
He ignored him. There was no point in engaging in conversation.
Snarling.
Of course Juliet knew.
Good girl.
Sadly, the boys seemed to already have left the room.
“Shut up, you abomination. You were the only one ever loyal to him in Hell.”
He had to admit that hurt just a little. He’d tried his outmost to make life easier for all of them, but of course they couldn’t have just listened.
Stupid bastards.
“Come on”.
Elliott dragged Juliet across the forest floor.
He’d pay for that.
And yet, while he was preoccupied, Crowley managed to reach into his pocket –
Damn it, he’d used both of his hands to readjust Juliet’s collar. He’d wanted to text Dean.
I might bring in others to watch when I deal with your friends. After that... every demon in Hell would respect me.
“So that’s it? You want the throne? You could have it, but I suppose someone like you doesn’t have the metal capacity – “
Pain ripped through him.
Yes, he was really glad he’d killed that literary agent quickly all those years ago.
But thankfully, a surprise waited for them at the bunker.
Yes, he had memorized the position of every devil’s trap long ago.
Which was why he knew there hadn’t been one on the kitchen ceiling.
And that was where the boys were waiting.
“Got you, you son of a bitch.”
Dean. Thank God.
He felt Elliott’s rage and wished he could smile.
“Did you ever really think I came back human? I just knew – “
Dear God, was he really trying –
“How stupid do you think we are?”
Yes. Tell him, Dean.
“Well” he drawled, “I don’t see why a washed up ha-been should be a better companion than I am. I can offer you a bargain –“
“You know what? I’m not doing that. You’re hurting my friend, Juliet’s whimpering, so you were an asshole to her too, and I should have started dinner an hour ago. Cas, do the honours. Oh, and whoever you are, you son of a bitch: Tell the others that Crowley is our friend, and if you come after him, you come after all of us”.
He heard the beginning of an exorcism and then everything went black.
When he came to, unsurprisingly Juliet was lying next to him on the bed, occasionally barking happily, and Dean was sitting in his room, waiting for him to wake up.
“There you are. Everything alright?”
“Yes. Thank you”.
“Please. He was a terrible actor. I knew that wasn’t you the second you stepped into the room, even before you started sending out signals in Morse Code. But then I usually do with family.”
He told himself his eyes weren’t getting wet.
“I hoped you would”.
“Seriously, his micro expressions were all wrong... And you haven’t had that evil gleam in your eyes in years”.
He reached out to stroke Juliet and ensure she wasn’t hurt.
“The demons... by now every single one of them must know I’m back”.
“Yeah. But then, what’s a few demons?”
“We’re talking about all of Hell.”
“Which we’ve taken on several times already. We’ll be fine. Don’t even start”.
“You don’t know what I was about – “
“You were about to give me a noble speech how we’d be better off if you left. Spare me. I’ve been there myself”.
“So I don’t get a say?”
“Sure, you can leave, but I really hope you don’t, and I know for a fact you don’t want to”.
“Since you are such an expert, Squirrel – “
“On you, your Majesty? Hell yeah I am. Come on; dinner’s ready. Don’t worry, I put a medallion round your neck until we can get your tattoo fixed”.
When he was gone, Juliet rubbed her head against Crowley’s hand and sniffled.
“I know. Me too. Let’s go”.
And he got up to have dinner with his... family.