Work Text:
“I didn’t expect this many people to show up, I’m proud of you,” Woojin says as he ruffs Daehwi’s styled hair.
The blond shrugs him off before swatting him on the back, “No thanks to you. I thought you were going to bring your dance troupe or something?”
Woojin shrugs as he downs his drink, “You have me, that’s all that matters.”
Typical of his roommate. Daehwi could never count on him do anything, yet he still asks himself how the most perennially aloof person on earth came to become his best friend.
They were, in every sense of the word, opposites. Woojin worked at a dance studio that dealt with idols while Daehwi was a classically trained pastry chef. Woojin was disorganized and gone in his own world half the time and Daehwi worried about things too much. The only thing that Daehwi found redeeming in Woojin is his particularity with cleanliness. You couldn’t pick up a proper word out of his mouth most of the time, but his dresser looked like it was organized for the military.
Maybe “opposites attract” also worked with friendships, but Daehwi is still on the fence about that.
Daehwi scoffs at him, “Yeah, don’t pretend you didn’t read the letter I left on your bed.”
Woojin shushes him with a finger to his mouth, “Can you not show Jihoon those pictures, I have a reputation to keep.”
Daehwi rolls his eyes, “As if. I swear the two of you are the weirdest. If you’re not trying to beat each other up, you’re sucking face. It’s disgusting, really.”
“Don’t hate on our affection, just because you and your boy are every romcom couple to ever exist.”
Daehwi shrugs. He looks over to where Jinyoung is, his boyfriend is chatting to one of his buddies he brought from work. Daehwi sighs.
Bae Jinyoung, his lovely, lovely boyfriend. Daehwi still remembers when they first met; Daehwi was a mess of flour, egg shells and sweat in the rain when he bumped into this lithe figure with caramel skin. Skip two weeks later and they’re dating.
Now, Daehwi’s successfully opened his own pastry shop and Jinyoung is still his lovely, lovely boyfriend.
Daehwi truly cherishes him. A complete foil to Daehwi’s effervescent personality, Jinyoung’s stoic and silent support has been a huge help in helping Daehwi finally commit his dreams.
However, beyond the support and the warm smiles, Daehwi still felt somewhat one-sided in this affair. And even though Jinyoung helped when he needed to, and went to everything Daehwi asked him to go to, he’s felt that Jinyoung’s affection to be lacking.
He’s seen Jinyoung lose sleep helping through his many mental breakdowns through the trials of opening up shop, but half the time Daehwi’s felt like he was a burden rather than a boyfriend.
It’s been bugging him for a while now, and though he loves his boyfriend to pieces, he sometimes thinks if it was better to let him go rather than selfishly keeping him within his grasp.
Jinyoung, noticing someone’s gaze on him, turns from his friends and finds Daehwi’s furrowed eyebrows from across the room. He politely excuses himself, eyes trained on his boyfriend, and walks over.
“Daehwi, is there a problem?” he says as he takes a hold of Daehwi’s hand. He’s looking at him with concern, his glossy streaked bangs slightly obscuring his forehead.
When Daehwi sees his face so full of concern, he forgets the doubts that rage through his mind whenever he’s alone. He forgets how guilty and lost he sometimes feels, and he forgets to be selfless and embraces the warmth that is Bae Jinyoung.
For now, he’ll be greedy; for today, Bae Jinyoung is his.
“Nothing. It was nothing,” he says as he buries his head into Jinyoung’s chest.
“But why did you look so concerned?”
Daehwi hums as he sinks into the soft fabric of Jinyoung’s dress shirt. He inhales the musk of the cologne he gave Jinyoung some two weeks ago and sighs.
“I’ll tell you later. Can you just hug me for now?”
Jinyoung obliges without another word.
It’s two in the afternoon and the staff is on break. It’s at the end of the lunch rush and Daehwi’s fixing the inventory for the next supply shipment when Park Jihoon comes waltzing into the shop with a wink and a trot.
Daehwi looks up from where he’s jotting down numbers to give his friend a genial smile.
“What can I do for you?”
“I’m getting Woojin a cake, what would you recommend?”
Daehwi stops jotting how much butter they’re going to need for next week to look up at Jihoon with much question.
Daehwi could call Park Jihoon and Park Woojin’s relationship by many things—unconventional, unorthodox, and maybe just a bit abusive—affectionate was not one of them.
Park Jihoon is Woojin’s boyfriend and a close friend of Jinyoung’s. He works with Jinyoung at the firm and has the tendency of wearing ostentatiously neon suits. Jihoon and Daehwi’s relationship began when Jinyoung asked if he knew someone dense and obtuse for his friend. Daehwi immediately dragged Woojin into Jihoon’s fist and the rest is history.
The boy was all cute and boyish charm who could get literally anyone if he just tried. But he somehow ended up falling for Woojin’s “charm.” Daehwi often questions why Jihoon chose Woojin of all the sane people in this world. But, then again, he’s best friends with a perennial idiot whose compendium of ugly pictures could rival any full volume encyclopedia, so, really, Daehwi isn’t one to complain.
“Hello?” Jihoon says after Daehwi spends about thirty second just staring at him.
“I’m waiting for the hook.”
Jihoon looks at him in aghast, exaggeratedly clutching at his heart “Can’t I give my boyfriend a cake?”
Jihoon is wearing a rainbow pinstripe blazer over a white dress shirt finished with a turquoise bow tie. He looks like he was dragged out of weed induced daydream.
“You can. You just don’t,” Daehwi says still slightly flabbergasted at the literal barf of color sashaying in front of him.
Jihoon shakes his head in mock offense, “Fine, I don’t need your help, I know my Woojinie’s favorite is your key lime pie, so get me one of those.”
Daehwi, rather stiffly, moves to get a pie from the fridge before stuffing it into one of their takeout boxes.
“Here, one key lime pie.”
Jihoon still has the smile plastered on his face, and Daehwi swears Jihoon could pass as one of those clowns that turn out to be serial killers. He’s actually asked Woojin why Jihoon dresses like a walking spectrum, but Woojin was as, if not more, out of the loop Daehwi.
So with just a bit of courage, he asks, “You’re not going to just give this to Woojin, are you?”
Jihoon’s smile grows larger and creepier.
“I mean, I will,” he says with a dangerous flicker, “But it’s going straight to his face.”
Daehwi actually breathes a sigh of relief at the confession. He tightens the bow and proceeds hands it over to Jihoon.
“Wow, you scared me for a bit there.”
Jihoon snickers with a more genuine smile now, “I did, didn’t I.” The boyish charm is back and Daehwi can rest easy because Jihoon isn’t possessed.
“I heard from Jinyoung that your opening went well, sorry I couldn’t come.”
Jihoon was always very warm towards Daehwi, even during their first meeting. Jinyoung has said that Jihoon is rarely ever affectionate (read: never) and him being so warm towards Daehwi was a feat in and of itself. It’s not that Daehwi ever doubted it, but he often questions where it stemmed from.
Daehwi smiles, “Yeah, it was no thanks to your boyfriend,” he says handing over the pie as Jihoon exchanges it with his payment.
“He really is useless,” Jihoon says with a shake of his head.
Daehwi gestures for Jihoon to sit down as he takes off his apron.
“But I was really surprised at the turnout,” Daehwi says as he slips into a chair, “I mean I did advertise aggressively, but the amount of people that turned up was at a level I wasn’t prepared for.”
Jihoon has this unreadable expression on his face as he flashes a smile, “Well, I’m glad. But how has business been so far?”
Daehwi smiles, “It’s been great actually, people seem to like my meringues a lot.”
Jihoon sparks up at the mention of the egg white pastry, “Of course they would, those meringues are magical.”
Daehwi flushes a bit at the compliment, “Thanks. Do you want a mini pavlova before you go? I can whip up one right now.”
Jihoon’s expression lights up, “Can you make it two, I want to see Woojin’s expression when I smack the pavlova and pie in his face.”
“Sure, whatever makes you and Woojin happy,” Daehwi says as he goes off into the kitchen to start assembling. But before he can enter the kitchen, he turns back and looks at Jihoon, “Are you going back to the office?”
Jihoon nods, “Why?”
“I’ll give you three, give the other one to Jinyoung.”
Jihoon smirks and rises from his seat to plod into the kitchen. Daehwi is tying his apron on when Jihoon enters and sits himself on one of the tables.
“What are you doing?”
“I want to watch when you make Jinyoung’s pavlova, I bet hearts are going to come out of your nostrils.”
Daehwi rolls his eyes grabs the rested meringues on the counter and the bowl of fresh fruits his team had just tossed in a bowl with some honey.
“How do you and Woojin even show each other affection, you two always look on the verge of wrestling each other into the ground.”
“That’s because we do wrestle each other into the ground,” Jihoon says noncommittally, eyes too transfixed as Daehwi starts stacking layers of fruit, cream and meringue.
“I mean, I know you do, but are you guys ever affectionate,” Daehwi says as he finishes the first pavlova.
“like you and Jinyoung?” he smirks.
Daehwi drops the first into its little box before he glares at Jihoon, “We are not that affectionate.”
“The two of you always look like you’re going to meld into one whenever you’re together.”
Daehwi scoffs. He admits that he can a bit clingy…okay he’s very clingy, but Jinyoung never seemed to complain so he never really found the need to change. It was a habit to latch on to Jinyoung be it his arm or his waist, Daehwi just really liked surrounding himself with Jinyoung.
But it also said something about how Jinyoung was with Daehwi, he never did cling onto Daehwi, part of it being that Daehwi always did it first, but it still made Daehwi think that maybe Jinyoung was just tolerating him out of kindness and courtesy.
“It’s just a force of habit,” Daehwi says as he starts layering the second pavlova, “Whatever, you’re avoiding the question,” pointing his offset spatula at Jihoon.
Jihoon shrugs, “We all just have different ways of showing affection, I guess.”
Daehwi shrugs, now too preoccupied by the strawberries he’s putting on the pavlova. He probably should be listening, but he’s too engrossed to care.
Jinyoung comes to Daehwi and Woojin’s shared apartment with a bucket of chicken one night. Daehwi’s in his frumpy overalls, his hair resembles a bird’s nest, and his glasses are in angles that they aren’t supposed to be. Jinyoung’s wearing a three piece suit.
“Hi,” he says with an amused smile.
Daehwi eyes him, “Don’t start with me, Bae Jinyoung. I look like I just rolled around in a farm.”
“Chicken?” Jinyoung says putting the bucket in front of Daehwi’s face.
“Are you trying to make me fat?”
“Babe, you keep sending Jihoon over to give me sweets, you can’t pull that on me.”
Accepting the answer, he leads Jinyoung into the house and sets the table for dinner
“Why are you here with a bucket of chicken?” Daehwi says as he paws a drumstick, “You usually come with salad.”
Jinyoung shrugs, “Even though I know you didn’t eat an ounce of green today, the occasional chicken would benefit your sanity.”
Daehwi makes to pinch Jinyoung on the cheek, “Aigoo, you’re cute.”
“You’re cuter.”
Daehwi slaps Jinyoung on the shoulder eliciting a laugh.
“I’m not. Woojin actually tried to put an egg on my head because it looked like a bird’s nest.”
Jinyoung flashes a bright smile in reply.
It’s Daehwi’s favorite smile. His boyfriend has a reputation for looking sullen and bored all the time, but when Jinyoung smiles Daehwi always finds himself mesmerized at how wonderful it is. How impossibly radiant Jinyoung is when no one knows it.
“I really love it when you smile,” Daehwi says as he stabs a drumstick, “Your face just lights up. It’s one of my favorite things.”
Daehwi’s been doing this a lot, the whole candid confession thing. He doesn’t know why or how it started, but it’s coming up more recently. He’s been blurting out random things he really liked about Jinyoung at the most random of times; like the way his voice calms him down or how his hands on the small of his back give Daehwi confidence. These often end with Jinyoung getting very flustered.
Daehwi says those small, wonderful things that make up Bae Jinyoung. Daehwi says them so freely and so frequently without asking for anything in return. It was because he wants to enjoy these things while they last. Once he’s finally found the strength to let go of his favorite person in the world, he’ll regret never telling him how much he’s loved him.
There’s a deadline, he thinks. It hasn’t been set in stone, but he knows it’s fast approaching.
“Why do you have to say something so embarrassing?” Jinyoung says cheeks red as hides his face from Daehwi.
“Can you say something about me you really like?”
Jinyoung pauses, eyes caught in a whirl of shock. He looks at Daehwi with that confused, perplexed look and, slowly, says, “You. I like everything about Lee Daehwi.”
Daehwi fights the frown to flash Jinyoung a too sweet smile. Jinyoung is none the wiser.
Daehwi is sulking the next day as he mindlessly stirs his coffee. His drink is probably at room temperature by now, it probably tasted like cold, burnt paper, but Daehwi was too preoccupied with the events that transpired last night to care about the ideal temperature of his morning cup.
It was a great night. They had chicken, they watched that stupid drama Daehwi loves to hate on, then they fell asleep in each other’s arms. There wasn’t anything out of place, but it still craned on Daehwi’s mind.
“Morning!”
Daehwi cries an ungodly scream as the mug of coffee launches into the air. Woojin could only stop and stare as a shower of brown rainfall lands on his face and a gigantic gudetama mug lands squarely on his face.
There are hurried footsteps coming from the other room as a sprinting Jihoon springs into the room finding the very shocked Daehwi clutching at his heart and a passed out Woojin with a caricature egg butt where his face used to be.
Jihoon grabs his phone and takes a picture, a video, and a panorama of the entire scene. Only ever acknowledging the hapless victims of the room after he had his fill of laughter.
“Thank you for the help, you useless knob,” Woojin grumbles as Jihoon pats his damp hair with a dish rag
“It’s not my fault both of you are a breathing gag show.”
Woojin glares at Daehwi’s guilty expression, “I don’t even know why you have that stupid egg butt mug,” he grumbles pointing to the still very intact ghastly yellow mug that Daehwi had already refilled with coffee.
“It’s cute, and Jinyoung gave it to me,” he whines as he takes a tentative sip.
“Ugh, he has to stop wasting so much money on you.”
It hits a nerve.
“I know. He shouldn’t even be wasting his time on me, I get it!” he screams suddenly, only covering his mouth after the words left his mouth.
Woojin and Jihoon looks at him with varying levels of concern. His roommate’s face is confused and awfully sympathetic, while Jihoon looks almost offended at the statement.
“I’m sorry,” Daehwi murmurs as he moves to move out of the kitchen, but Jihoon moves faster, stalking up between him and the entrance in a flash.
“Sit back down, we’re talking this out.”
Daehwi tries to push his way out, but he remembers Jihoon wrestles Woojin as a hobby, so he is inadvertently dragged back into his seat.
“Talk.”
“You look sexy when you manhandle people,” Woojin says with a wink and a kissy face.
“Oh god, you’re disgusting,” Jihoon says as he smacks his boyfriend on the forehead before he redirects his attention to Daehwi, “Again. Talk.”
Daehwi gulps. He hasn’t shared his insecurities to anyone, and if Jihoon babbles to Jinyoung then it’s then end for them, surely.
“Promise me you won’t tell, Jinyoung.”
Jihoon rolls his eyes, “Wasn’t planning on it, babe. Just spill your guts before I piledrive them out of you myself.”
Daehwi grumbles, “Okay, so I’ve been having my doubts.”
Jihoon raises his eyebrows at him his hands resting threateningly on his hips, “What type of doubts?”
Daehwi thinks that if Jihoon was trying to look intimidating, he was doing a really bad job at it, making it very hard not snicker. But Daehwi knew that Jihoon could break all the bones of his body if permitted, so he bites down the laugh to look sad.
“Doubts about our relationship, Jinyoung and I.”
Jihoon is quick to lock his jaw, “And why would make you doubt his loyalty?”
Daehwi flails his hands, “No!” he squeals, “I-It’s me, I feel like I’m holding him back.”
Jihoon raises his eyebrow now, “What the fuck gave you that idea?”
Daehwi hugs his legs as he curls into a ball, resting his head on his knees, “I feel like he does things out of kindness. I don’t know if he stays because he’s kind, or if he just feels obligated to stay.”
“Are you sure you and numb nuts here aren’t related?” he says wagging his finger to an eating Woojin, “Because that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Throughout the progression of the conversation, Woojin had decided it was the perfect time for him to eat his breakfast instead of showing concern for his best friend, causing him to neglect the direct insult at him to enjoy his eggs.
“I can’t help it. I don’t actually know why he agreed to go out with me.”
Jihoon looks like he’s about to explode by the way his lips thin out into an impressively narrow line.
“Stupid,” Jihoon sighs, “I’m surrounded by idiots.”
Jihoon stomps several paces before he smacks Woojin on the head. Woojin almost face plants his face into his food, his nose narrowly missing an exposed egg yolk.
“Stop smacking me in the head, I’m trying to eat!”
Jihoon smacks him again, “Help your roommate, he’s in turmoil.” Woojin looks over at the sulking human ball that is Daehwi and heaves a sigh, “Stupid, you want to know a secret?”
Daehwi doesn’t even flinch, he just traces random figures on the table with his pointer finger.
“If you hadn’t asked Jinyoung out, he would have asked you himself.”
Daehwi looks up so quick he almost feels his neck cramp up by the suddenness of his movement. Jihoon looks surprised for a split second before his face goes neutral once again as if expecting the revelation.
“W-what?”
Woojin scoops a mouthful of his egg and bites a bit of his toast before he answers, “He actually came to me the day before you asked him out. Kept on asking about things you liked.”
“Really?” Daehwi says as he leans out of his legs as he moves closer to Woojin.
Woojin nods as he continues to devour his toast, “So I said you liked to stepping on frogs and collecting rocks.”
Jihoon pushes Woojin’s face right into his plate before walking out of the room.
“Wash your face before you go out!” he screams as he disappears into the bathroom.
Woojin slowly raises his face from his plate and looks at Daehwi, “I just wanted to wake up and eat breakfast. Why did you have to ruin it?”
Daehwi doesn’t even look apologetic, as he exits into the living room. He’s too preoccupied trying rack his mind around the fact that Jinyoung wanted to ask him out
Jinyoung’s always been a bit timid when it came to their relationship. How they’ve lasted so long, Daehwi doesn’t fully understand. Daehwi’s the one that clings onto Jinyoung and he’s the one that shows more affection. But Jinyoung has always been patient with him, he’s always there to hug him when he’s overwhelmed, kiss him when he’s tired, and listen to him when things were going crazy.
Daehwi always found so much comfort in his presence that he sometimes forgot how weirdly one-sided the relationship was at times.
Jinyoung never really took him to meet his friend, nor did he really initiate intimacy. He stood and smiled when needed and went where required. This lack of initiative always bothered Daehwi, but he was always too afraid and too stubborn to bring it up.
Daehwi always thought that Jinyoung would leave at the first chance he got. So Daehwi never gave him one.
Jihoon comes out of the shower fully dressed and finds Daehwi still on the couch. He sighs and drops himself beside him.
Daehwi looks at him and gives him a small smile, “You’re Jinyoung’s friend, what does he think about me?”
Jihoon looks so conflicted and reluctant that Daehwi’s heart sinks a bit.
“Whatever you’re thinking, that’s not how he thinks of you, okay. Whatever useless doubts you have, that’s not it.”
Daehwi doesn’t react. He just casts his gaze somewhere else as he ponders on the possible end of the longest one-sided relationship to ever exist.
“Okay.”
Daehwi looks at Jihoon again, with a softer expression now, “Jihoon, can I ask you a question?”
He looks at Daehwi with a somber gaze, his eyes round with concern, “You’ve always been really nice to me. Why?”
Jihoon snickers as he leans back on the couch, “I just knew that I wanted to be your friend,” he suddenly looking nervous as his eyes reach Daehwi, “We are friends, right?”
Daehwi blanches at the question. Jihoon is looking awfully small…unsure. Jihoon and unsure were never in direct correlation, it was a sight he was quite baffled to see.
“Because I don’t want you to think of me as Woojin’s boyfriend or Jinyoung’s friend,” he says cautiously, “Think of me as your friend, okay.”
Daehwi nods as he reaches to hug Jihoon, “I didn’t know actually, but I’ve always wanted it to be that way.”
Jihoon nods and puts his arm around Daehwi, “This is so disgusting,” he laughs.
Daehwi snickers too, “You need this kind of disgusting in your life if you plan to continue dating Woojin.”
Jihoon laughs, “You’re not wrong.”
Daehwi laughs with him and smiles.
“Since we’ve cemented our friendship, I hope you can listen to what I have to say,” Jihoon says suddenly as he holds Daehwi closer.
“Don’t doubt him, okay?”
Daehwi nods out of courtesy, because he knew that whatever Jihoon said couldn’t quell the doubts raging in his head. The doubt has been planted and tendered to. Now, he waits for bloom.
Today’s a mess.
Daehwi hates today. There’s a very important client that had ordered a four tier cake for her wedding. A very stingy, very particular client who thought making each tier of cake a different scenario of the her and her fiancé’s life was the most brilliant idea on earth.
Daehwi wanted to stab her multiple times with a blunt knife—just so she can feel the pain more—after she suggested that one scenario be totally redone because she remembered hating it.
But by some miracle of god, buddha, and with a little help of royal icing, he was able to complete all the tiers up to her stupidly stupid standards.
However, he did not account for his van breaking down in the middle of the highway the same time a torrent of rain starts rampaging through the streets. All while he was alone because being the nice boss he was, he insisted that his assistants go to the venue directly because they lived nearer, leaving him alone to deliver the cakes.
He has his head on the steering wheel as he screams for everything within the vicinity to die. He’s been working on this cake for weeks, and he won’t even make it to the reception.
He tries to compose himself, but the exhaustion and anxiety eats at him so much that he can’t stop the hot tears from rolling down his face.
Daehwi groans as he angry cries into the steering wheel of his stupid truck that he should have gotten checked last week but forgot to because of the stupid four tier cake sitting in the back.
So he does what he does when he’s in a state of distress: he calls Jinyoung.It takes about two rings for Jinyoung to pick up.
“Jinyoung?”
Daehwi? Where are you? You sound weird.
Daehwi sniffles into his sleeve as he tries to compose himself long enough to have an actual conversation.
“I-I’m fine,” he says as his nose starts to stuff with snot.
Daehwi, are you crying?
“I’m not crying.”
You’re crying
“Ok, fine I’m crying.”
Why are you crying? Do you need me to go where you are?
“N-n-no-no! Don’t you have to work.”
Daehwi, you only cry when things are going to shit. So, tell me what happened.
“I’m driving to the reception of the bitch that ordered the stupid four-tier cake, but my van broke down and it’s raining so hard right now.”
Fuck, are you okay?
“Yeah, I just need to calm down.”
Set your GPS on, I’m heading there.
“Jinyoung, don’t! You have to work!”
Too late, I’m already out of the driveway.
Jinyoung!
Bye. See you!
Daehwi doesn’t know what he can do. Calling him back would be pointless, Jinyoung would drop it anyway. This gets him more frustrated, at what, he’s not yet decided.
He’s trying so hard to compose himself, to think clearly, to make sense of the situation, but he’s just a tired, anxious mess at the moment that even the most intensive meditation would end in him weeping out in frustration.
Suddenly, his phone starts ringing and he clamors for it, thinking that it’s one of his associates only to find that it’s Jinyoung again.
He tries to even out his breath as he answers the call.
“Jinyoung, please go back,” he pleads trying his hardest to suppress the tears threatening to break again.
I’m already on the highway. I’ve already called a tow truck, it’ll be there shortly.
“What do you mean you called me a tow truck? Jinyoung, go back to the office, please.”
Daehwi hears Jinyoung heave a sigh, it sounds exhausted, and almost annoyed.
Why don’t want me to help you?
Daehwi feels a rumbling in his stomach. There are things, shapeless things, tearing throughout his body, severing and detaching the things that were making him whole.
This was the deadline. The cutoff. We gave you a warning, it’s time to say goodbye.
“Because—”
Because what?
“—because I don’t think things are working out between us”
Daehwi doesn’t know what he was expecting. He thinks maybe Jinyoung would drop the phone and he’d have to find a way to get himself out this situation.
But he doesn’t do that.
Whatever. I’m still going there.
Daehwi flinches at the response and doesn’t believe what he’s hearing.
Whatever you’re feeling, I’ll respect it. But right now, you have to go to your event.
With that Jinyoung drops the phone and Daehwi starts to bawl his eyes out into his snot-infested steering wheel. He doesn’t know if he feels sad or frustrated because of the situation.
After some time of crying, Daehwi starts taking deep breathes to calm himself. He figures that right now Jinyoung is doing this because he wants to help a sad boy with a four-tired cake of stupidity.
Right now, Bae Jinyoung was acting as a decent human being.
Daehwi couldn’t help but feel the tiniest portion of his heart die.
What seems like hours later there’s a knocking on the driver’s seat as Bae Jinyoung’s small, handsome face looms from behind the window. The rain had stopped and the gloom of a spring shower permeates the empty road.
And while Jinyoung looks like the handsome drama lead in his navy three-piece suit, ready to save his beloved from whatever predicament she landed herself in. Daehwi looks like a rag that’s been wiped down with flour, swear and snot.
Daehwi fixes himself and opens the door.
Jinyoung looks as magnificent as always. He’s even elected to style his hair today, giving it a little lift to show a bit of his forehead. The expression on his face is sour and Daehwi can’t help but look at his feet as he steps out of the car.
Daehwi thinks he should say something, but before he can even utter a word, Jinyoung is shoving him into his car and shutting the door. Daehwi doesn’t even register when Jinyoung transfers the cake to the back and slides into the driver’s seat before they’re off.
Neither of them talk, Daehwi too afraid to face the harsh truth that would probably come out of Jinyoung’s mouth.
So Jinyoung drives and Daehwi looks at his own clenched fists. It’s only when they’re parked in the venue does Jinyoung talk.
“Why?”
Jinyoung is staring at the empty carpark, voice distant and hollow.
Daehwi doesn’t hesitate, “I don’t think I like you anymore,” he says evenly even though he knows that every word was an utter lie.
“Do you really?” he asks quietly.
“Yes.”
He doesn’t know how one word could hurt so much, how it could cut through every fiber of his being like it was nothing. He never knew that lying could hurt so bad.
“Okay then,” Jinyoung says, “I’ll wait for you here.”
Daehwi in his shock cranes his neck looking at Jinyoung, “No, just go home please.”
“Can you just shut up and go!” Jinyoung screams suddenly in what Daehwi can only explain as pure anger and frustration. He doesn’t look at Daehwi. He’s leaning on his window with his hand covering his face, “I’ll wait for you here and I’ll bring you home. That’s final.” he says almost defeatedly, gaze away from Daehwi.
And Daehwi follows, eyes never reaching Jinyoung as he scurries to gather the cake and head to the venue, gaze never turning to the figure of the one he loves so dearly.
Because if he did, he would have realized that the stoic, docile Bae Jinyoung was weeping in what could only be described as the most heart wrenching moment of his life.
It’s a few days after the break up and Daehwi feels empty and numb inside. He remembers walking out and seeing Jinyong’s car still parked out. He remembers climbing in and Jinyoung driving him home. Then he remembers the last goodbye before Jinyoung was out of his life.
He didn’t go to the pastry shop today. Today he felt like being sad and lonely while eating ramyun and watching happy dramas to ease his aching heart.
He hasn’t talked to anyone, not Woojin, and surely not Jihoon. Woojin because he wouldn’t be of any help and Jihoon because of the guilt that wracked through his body.
So he wallows in his self-pity and hopes that Book Joo’s swag can rub off on him so that he stops acting like a pathetic fool.
It’s about three in the afternoon when the front door flies open and Daehwi screams throwing his ramyun at the intruding figure.
The intruding figure is Woojin with a cup of noodles on his face. But that’s not what catches Daehwi’s attention.
Behind Woojin stood two figures, one fuming and one sulking. The fuming boy was Park Jihoon who looked like a weird cross of an angry cat and an upset puppy, and the sulking figure beside him was no other than Bae Jinyoung.
“Daehwi, stop throwing food at me!” Woojin screams as he heads to the bathroom to wash up.
Jihoon is in a pink pinstripe suit, while Jinyoung looked like he was dragged out of his home by sheer force, if his tattered purple shirt that looked oddly like the one Daehwi left in his apartment was any evidence.
Jihoon marches up to the couch and drops Jinyoung, the other remaining pliant as he is manhandled onto the couch.
“Okay, you two. I’ve had enough of this stupid game. The both of you are going to talk, and I mean talk about everything.”
Daehwi looks a bit confused, “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know Daehwi, why don’t you tell Jinyoung why you really broke up with him, because that bullshit about not liking him isn’t gonna fly.”
Daehwi turns red and looks at his hands.
“And you,” he says pointing at Jinyoung, “Will tell Daehwi everything, because I’m so close to smacking you on the head.”
Jihoon massages his temple as he looks at the two boys who had resigned to hugging throw pillows instead of looking at each other in the eye.
“Woojin! Clean faster and cuddle me, I’m stressed!” he screams.
There’re weird grumbles and a bang that Daehwi could only assume as Woojin clonking his head and swearing.
Jihoon stalks his way to Woojin’s room but not before screaming “Fix it!” at the two silent figures on the couch.
Then he’s left with Jinyoung and silence.
Daehwi doesn’t know where to start and is about to say something when he remembers how he always takes the initiative. He shuts his mouth and rests his gaze on his hands.
“Why aren’t you at the pastry shop?”
Daehwi looks up, “I told them I was sick,”
Jinyoung looks at Daehwi with concern, “What’s wrong?” His voice is tender, and there’s concern laced within there that he’s heard him use before.
“I’m not sick, I just didn’t want to go,” Daehwi replies evenly, eyes not still set on his throw pillow.
“Why?”
Daehwi ponders if he should say the real reason, to divulge how utterly pathetic and dependent he is on Jinyoung.
“I just didn’t feel like it.”
Jinyoung is still eyeing him when he nods. But soon he buries his head into the pillow again, then it’s them with silence once more.
Daehwi doesn’t talk. He doesn’t want to give in to the whims of his heart. He doesn’t want to beg Jinyoung to take him back, maybe just be a friend, anything that meant he wouldn’t lose him. But he can’t. He keeps quiet.
“I didn’t go to work today,” Jinyoung says suddenly, his head still ducked, but his eyes trained on Daehwi.
“Why?”
Jinyoung shrugs, “Because I miss you.”
Daehwi suddenly feels nauseous and wants grab onto something because his heart is beating real fast against his chest.
“What?”
Jinyoung looks at him, his eyes are empty and distant, his lips looks close to quivering, and he looks so sad.
“I miss you.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why? Why won’t I miss the person I’m in love with?” Jinyoung says, his words suddenly biting and bold.
Daehwi is shell shocked and he can’t believe what he’s hearing.
“I didn’t know.”
Jinyoung looks up from his throw pillow, his gaze now piercing Daehwi’s. The emptiness and sudden anger morphed into confusion and guilt.
“You’ve never told me you loved me.”
The look in Jinyoung’s eyes are too desolate and so sad that Daehwi can’t help but stare at how small and timid he looked, so used to the strong, stable figure he’s always known.
“I was scared,” Jinyoung says, “Because I’ve never felt so much love for a single person. It was so different and so consuming that I often caught myself in disbelief half the time. But maybe that’s why you started to stop liking me,” he says shyly as he buries his face into the large, plush pillow, “I never said it. But Daehwi I showed it, I showed it to you every day.”
Daehwi stutters into silence as he looks at Jinyoung, who had a single tear rolling down his handsome face. It was a first, seeing him so broke. Daehwi thought that this was what Jinyoung wanted, to be away from him—to finally be rid of the small boy with too many emotions.
Boy, was he wrong.
Daehwi doesn’t look at him, he instead stares at the gudetama mug that he was using again, the mug that Jinyoung gave him because Daehwi kept calling the egg butt cute.
Then he remembers the offset spatula Jinyoung got him a few weeks back because Daehwi had to replace the one at the store so he brought his own instead.
He also remembers when Jinyoung bought him that otter plushy a month into dating because per Jinyoung, Daehwi resembled one.
There’s also the time Jinyoung made him chicken noodle soup when he was sick because he remembered that Daehwi’s mom made that for him whenever he was sick.
Then Daehwi realizes that he’s been so loved, so, so much.
Jinyoung looks at Daehwi with concern, after the boy begins to sink into a stasis of complete silence.
Daehwi starts to quiver and shake as he feels himself mourn his own stupidity.
“I’m stupid,” he says as tears start falling down his cheek, “I’m stupid because I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. I thought you were growing tired of taking care of me and stressing over me and fetching me salads because I don’t eat much,” Daehwi says, “I thought that the person I loved the most didn’t want anything to do with me, but I was so wrong.”
Jinyoung doesn’t know what to do as tears start to fall Daehwi’s face.
“I thought that you didn’t care. I was too convinced that you would never truly love someone like me that I forgot to look at what you were trying to say everyday,” he chokes and hiccups.
Jinyoung is quickly out of his seat. He gathers Daehwi into his arms and lets the boy sob into him.
This was how it was always supposed to be. Daehwi was supposed to cry into him when he was sad, talk to him when he was troubled, and lean on him when he needed help standing.
“I like taking care of you. I like bringing you places. I like watching seminars I don’t understand with you. I like leaving work to help you. I like spoiling you. I like you smiling at me. I like everything about Lee Daehwi. I told you that, remember.”
Daehwi nods as his tears stop and the warmth that he loved so dearly continued to encompass him.
“Please don’t ever do that again. I was so sad,” Jinyoung whispers into Daehwi’s ear, “I can’t lose my favorite person.”
Daehwi nods as they continue to hug.
He doesn’t know how long they stay like that, but after what seems like an entire hour the door to Woojin’s room creaks open and Jihoon’s voice invades the room.
“Okay, break it up. That’s enough.” He says while clapping. A rather groggy Woojin soon follows as he leans his head on Jihoon’s back to steady him as tries to continue sleeping while standing up.
Jinyoung and Daehwi’s tear stained faces come up from the couch and look at the other couple with embarrassment.
“God, if I’d known how stupid you two actually were I’d have done this stupid intervention weeks ago,” Jihoon says.
Daehwi noticed that Jihoon had extricated himself of his blindingly pink suit for an equally neon pink two piece sweat suit, that he swears he’s seen Woojin wear at times.
“Jihoon, is that Woojin’s?”
Jihoon, still a bit groggy from his nap, observes his getup and looks at Daehwi confused, “No. I brought this, why?”
“Because Woojin has one exactly like that.”
Suddenly Jihoon looks flushed as he looks at Daehwi, “Coincidence.”
Jinyoung raises his eyebrows looking at his friend. Park Jihoon was, if anything, not sweet. However adorable Jihoon was, he was not affectionate or sentimental, or by any stretch a cutesy person. He showed his weird affection by punching his boyfriend in the face and shoving him down stairs or something, couple getups were more of his and Daehwi’s alley.
But Park Jihoon never did couple items. Never.
“Do you have a couple outfit?”
Jihoon’s eyes bulge at the accusation, “No, it’s just a coincidence. It’s not my fault Woojin is so in love in me that he bought his own set.”
Woojin, who has been snoozing on Jihoon’s back all this time picks the perfect time to raise his head.
“Stop lying, you practically shoved that atrocious set into my face and told me that if I didn’t wear it we would break up.”
Jinyoung and Daehwi share a look of amazement as they look at Jihoon’s reddening face.
“Who would have thought never affectionate Park Jihoon would actually buy couple outfits, and in hot pink,” Jinyoung smirks.
Jihoon grimaces at his friend looking unfazed, “Don’t start with me Bae, I’ve got ammunition and I’m not afraid to use it.”
Daehwi looks curiously at Jihoon, “What kind of ammunition?”
Jihoon smiles as he moves to the couch to sit beside Daehwi, “Oh, dear Daehwi where should I start?”
Jinyoung stands up and looks at Jihoon with a threatening glare, “Don’t.”
“Tough luck, Bae,” Jihoon says eyes never looking Jinyoung’s
“Oh my god, Daehwi is so cute, how am I going to live!?” he starts to squeal, “Ugh, Jihoon do you think he’ll like this plushy? It’s cute right?” Jihoon continues in an awful imitation of Jinyoung.
Jinyoung stands up and tries tackle Jihoon, only fall straight into Daehwi. He suddenly sits up and pats Daehwi as he searches for any sign of damage.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry, are you hurt?”
Daehwi, sensing an opportunity, grabs for Jinyoung’s torso and claws at it to trap Jinyoung on the couch.
“Jihoon, spill!”
Jinyoung actually looks slightly betrayed as he sits helpless within Daehwi’s grasp.
“You’d never think this is true, but Jinyoung has a planner for the couple outfits he wants to buy with you.”
Jinyong, sensing the haplessness of the situation, resigns to sinking his face into Daehwi’s shoulder as his boyfriend starts cooing at him.
“Is it true?”
He nods reluctantly. Daehwi pecks him on the cheek, “You’re cute.”
“Don’t even get me started on his little album that he keeps stashed away in the darkest corner of his dresser,” Jihoon says.
Even Jinyoung is shocked and tries to get away from Daehwi’s grip but to no avail.
“How did you even find it?”
Jihoon scoffs as he stares at his friend, “You underestimate my powers.”
Daehwi laughs with great relief, his chest feeling the lightest it’s been in ages.
“Okay, that’s enough blackmail for now” Daehwi says, much to Jihoon’s dismay, “But only if Jinyoung promises to show me the picture next time I go over.”
Jinyoung nods reluctantly as Daehwi kisses him on the nose.
“I love you,” Daehwi says with a small smile.
Jinyoung flashes a smile, that warm, all-consuming smile that Daehwi loves so much.
“I love you too.”
It’s three in the afternoon and the staff is on break when Park Jihoon waltzes into the pastry shop in the dullest suit Daehwi’s ever seen him wear.
With raised eyebrows, he asks, “What’s with the getup?”
Jihoon sighs as he gets up into the counter, “Woojin’s special request.”
Daehwi smiles. Woojin and Jihoon have found a way to adopt a more conventional relationship, with Jihoon slowly embracing the romanticisms of being in a relationship beyond pounding Woojin into submission—with a little help from Jinyoung.
Speaking of Jinyoung, the boy had Daehwi in all forms of surprised when he came out with his own little secrets. Turns out Bae Jinyoung was a closet romantic who had albums, scrapbooks, and even excel sheets of Daehwi and their relationship.
“It suits you,” Daehwi says as Jihoon continues sulking about how dull and boring he looked.
“Get me a key lime pie, Woojin and I are having dinner tonight,” he says.
“Do you mean shoving it into Woojin’s face again?”Jihoon shakes his head, “No, we’re having a date night or whatever.”
Daehwi does a double take at him, “What?”
Jihoon groans, “It’s your stupid boyfriend’s suggestion. Thinks it would be a ‘nice change of pace,’” he says in mock exaggeration.
Daehwi is laughing at how genuinely frustrated Jihoon is.
“I swear, your boyfriend has to stop meddling in my relationship before I sucker punch his miniature face.”
Daehwi continues laughing, eyes slowly filling up with tears as Jihoon continues to sulk.
“But you know,” Jihoon says in the middle of Daehwi’s laughing fit, “He’s been to happy, it’s so weird. He’s smiling nonstop now I can’t believe it.”
Daehwi stops laughing to give Jihoon a grateful smile, flushing a bit in embarrassment, “I’m glad he’s happy.”
Jihoon smirks, “You know when you asked me why I wanted to be friends with you before?” he asks, “I actually have a reason.”
Daehwi gives him a pointed look, “Which is?”
“I wanted to meet the person who made Bae Jinyoung smile. Because I’ve known that kid for most of my life but I never saw him that happy. The first time you two went out, he couldn’t stop humming in the office,” Jihoon says with a laugh, “I actually threw a stapler at his head because of how annoying he was.”
“Can’t he report you to HR or something?”
“Not if HR wanted me to do worse,” Jihoon says “I’ve never seen Jinyoung so alive, it was so disconcerting.”
Daehwi snickers, “It’s better than him sulking.”
Jihoon then gave Daehwi a more somber look, “Yeah, sulking Jinyoung reached its peak when you initially decided to split.”
Daehwi goes silent, shrinking back a bit into the counter as his eyes flitted away from Jihoon straight into his curled hands.
“I swear, he was a wreck. He kept on crying and blaming himself, it was so sad,” Jihoon says with no malice. His eyes are downcast and avoiding Daehwi’s, but his voice is still kind and calm.
“Jinyoung was always a shy guy, and he’s never really had confidence in himself. He never said it out loud, but I knew he had a fear of ending up alone,” he says eyes still not looking at Daehwi, “But suddenly you came along and everything looked brighter in the eyes of Bae Jinyoung. Suddenly he was giggling and smiling at strangers and being his weird self.”
Jihoon pauses and lifts his gaze to rest on Daehwi’s, “Then suddenly it’s gone and I didn’t know what to do.”
Jihoon laughs suddenly, looking at Daehwi with so much fondness, “People in school used to call him deepdark, you know.”
Daehwi knew. Jinyoung told him it was because everyone thought he just looked so sad and dower all the time.
“But really,” Daehwi says suddenly, “Jinyoung is the brightest.”
Jihoon laughs, “What I’m trying to say is, thank you. Thank you for making him the happiest he’s ever been. He deserves it.”
Daehwi nods, “I want to hug you, but I’m a mess.”
“I don’t. I’m being so disgusting today so you save that hug for another time.”
“Sure, Jihoon. Whatever makes you happy.”
Jinyoung comes over with a bucket of chicken and a packed salad that night. He’s wearing a loose black shirt and sweats, a bag slung over his shoulder.
Daehwi has just taken a bath and doesn’t look like a phenomenal train wreck—something’s he quite proud of.
“Wow, are going all the way tonight?” Daehwi says eyeing the two food products in his boyfriend’s hands.
“Best of both worlds, I guess?”
Daehwi invites him into the dining room where they get settled.
He’s wearing his oversized jumper with sleeves too long for his own thin arms, so he folds them as Jinyoung starts to dig in.
On instinct, Daehwi bites his bottom lip as he starts folding the thin fabric over his hands. He folds them twice before he tucks in and grabs for his chopsticks. He’s about to reach for a chicken when he notices that Jinyoung’s smiling at him.
“You always look so cute whenever you bite your lip. It’s one of my favorite things.” He says with that smile that Daehwi loves so, so much.
Daehwi is suddenly flustered at the sudden show of affection. Jinyoung, knowing that he was successful with his mission smirks. Daehwi doesn’t know but it does something to him that he can’t explain. It shakes something within his heart that he can’t pinpoint.
“Do you like anything about me?” Jinyoung asks suddenly, eyes mischievous as he keeps them trained on Daehwi.
Daehwi stutters and looks at Jinyoung. He’s got the brightest expression on his face. The boy who was so lonely and afraid of being alone was now this bright smile of warmth and endless love.
This was his Bae Jinyoung.
“All of you. Bae Jinyoung, you’re my favorite.”