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Jasper sat on the beach and watched the waves as they were rolling in. She didn't know why but watching the water always made her calm. She sighed and pulled her knees to her chest, leaning her chin against them. She lifted her arm and looked at the green splotches, remnants of what she had been before she was saved.
She couldn't remember it all, just snippets, pieces of who she had been and what she had done. If she tried hard enough she was sure she could remember it all. But the truth was she didn't want to remember. The memories were trying to surface even now. She shook her head, trying to push them away as she curled up. She had to focus and center herself. She was Jasper, a strong warrior, a free gem, she was Jasper, she was Jasper.
"Hey Jasper, are you okay?" Greg asked, placing a gentle hand on Jasper's shoulder.
Jasper reacted before she even thought, jumping up and throwing Greg away. She jumped on him a moment later, her fist raised in preparation to strike.
Greg raised his hands in an attempt to shield himself. “Jasper, stop!"
She barely realized what she was doing in time to stop herself. She quickly got off Greg and stood before him, staring down. She lifted her hands and looked at them. "I, I'm..." She grabbed the sides of her head. "Oh diamonds, what did I almost do?" She kneeled down, her eyes wide with shock.
Greg hesitated before getting back up. "Jasper." He walked over and kneeled before her. "Jasper, come back to me." He put his hands on her arms, making her look up at him. He smiled. "You're okay, I'm here. You didn't do anything." He slowly pulled her hands down from her face. "Everything is okay."
Jasper slowly calmed down, lowering her hands to the beach. She leaned back until she fell onto her behind and sat there looking at Greg. "I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
Greg shook his head. "It's okay. I shouldn't have startled you." He smiled and stood up, walking forward and holding out a hand to her. "Come on, let's head back okay?"
Jasper looked at the hand but didn't take it. She stood up and dusted herself off. She started walking back towards the boardwalk. Greg moved to keep up with her.
"I was worried when I couldn't find you this morning. But you were just out here." He stated, looking her over. "What were you doing out here anyways?"
Jasper stopped and looked at him. She considered telling him off but she decided not to. She had been harsh enough with him already. "I was looking at the waves, they help me to think."
Greg watched her and then smiled. "Alright." He reached a hand up and touched her arm.
She looked at him in confusion, not sure why he was touching her until she remembered he was a human. This was one of their ways of offering comfort. It was a bit distasteful. She moved forward, moving her arm from his touch.
Greg moved with her. "I'm kinda hungry. Do you want to stop somewhere and get something to eat?"
Jasper had only tried eating a couple of times at the behest of Amethyst, one of the only gems on this useless rock she had actually been able to understand. She couldn't remember everything about what had happened between her and Amethyst but she knew they had fought before. She shook her head to both answer Greg's question and to shake away the bad memories. "I don't eat." She didn't really like it.
"Oh, right. Sorry, sometimes I forget." He chuckled awkwardly. "Well how about we just stop by the big donut? I'm sure Sadie would be happy to see you."
Jasper smiled a little at the thought of Sadie. She didn't look it but that little human had the heart of a warrior. If she wanted she could become a force to be reckoned with, but she insisted on staying in that dinghy little shop. Still Jasper liked her, she was smart, strong, and a lot like Steven.
"Sure." She said, changing directions to go towards the big donut. They reached it before long and went inside. Sadie looked up from behind the counter and smiled. "Good morning Mr. Universe. Good morning Jasper. What can I get for you?"
Greg sauntered up to the counter. "A half-dozen of your finest donuts please." He said, smiling.
Sadie smiled and bowed. "Of course sir." She then giggled and started getting the donuts together.
Jasper didn't understand these little rituals. She had tried to study them but it all went over her head. It wasn't like on homeworld where if you needed something you were just given it. Still she thought it was minorly amusing watching these humans interact.
Sadie quickly finished packaging the donuts and put them on the counter. "Is there anything I can get for you Jasper?"
Jasper was snapped out of her thoughts by the question and held up her hands. "No, it's okay, I'm just-"
"Are you sure? You seemed to like that drink you bought last time. Oh! They just came out with a new flavor too!" She went over to the coolers and grabbed one of the drinks out, holding it up so Jasper could see. "It's called Orange Citrus."
Jasper hesitated before taking the drink and looking at the contents. She shrugged. "Um, sure." She set it by the donuts on the counter.
Sadie quickly calculated the cost and chatted as they paid. "So, any big plans for today?"
Greg smiled. "You bet! I'm gonna clean the van and test the circuits at the car wash."
"That sounds exciting. What about you Jasper?"
Jasper looked at her. "I, um, I'm not sure actually." She didn't have anything planned. Ever since she had been cured of her corruption she had lost her focus. She wasn’t certain what the point of her was anymore.
Greg spoke up. "Well you can help me if you want. The work will go a lot faster with more hands."
Jasper numbly nodded. "O-okay."
Sadie smiled. "Well you two have fun. If I see Steven I'll tell him you said hi."
Greg smiled. "Thanks Sadie." He grabbed his items and walked out. Jasper followed closely and looked at the drink she had bought. It was in a decorative little can with a happy looking fruit figure on the side. She tried to pull the tab but found it difficult considering the size of her fingers. She grunted after she failed her fourth attempt and was about to throw the soda onto the ground when Greg grabbed her arm.
"Whoa there tiger." He held a hand out. "Here, I'll help you."
She raised an eyebrow. "Tiger?" Greg had this habit of coming up with strange second names for her and others. Tiger was a new one.
Greg nodded. "Yeah, because of the stripes. You remind me of a tiger." He kept his hand out.
Jasper was still confused but she gave the can to Greg. He quickly opened it and held it back to her. "What is this tiger?"
Greg blinked. "Oh right. Well a tiger is this big cat that lives in Asia, it's really powerful and it's got beautiful stripes all over its body like you."
Jasper rubbed at the stripes of her arm uncomfortably. "These stripes aren't beautiful. They're obscene, reminders of where I came from and how I'm a failure." She sipped the soda. The taste was interesting but she really enjoyed the bubbly sensation it left on her tongue.
Greg stopped and looked up at her. "Jasper, you're not a failure."
She couldn't help but laugh at that. "How could I not be? I failed to defeat the rebels, failed to save my diamond, failed to capture Rose Quartz, failed to beat the crystal gems, failed, failed, failed!" She crushed the can in her hand and threw it away. She sunk to the ground and covered her face, trying to stop the tears that were flowing from her eyes. What was she even doing here? Why wasn't she shattered? She deserved it...
Greg frowned and touched her head. "Jasper, come back to me." He started to gently pat her head, hoping it would help her to calm down. "You're not a failure. You know you're not. I know sometimes things are hard and you feel like just giving up but you can't." He waited to see if she was doing any better before he sighed and sat down beside her. "You know when I was younger I used to think I was a loser."
Jasper stopped and looked at him. She didn't understand.
"I was a weird kid obsessed with music. It was hard to make friends and my family was never very supportive. They thought my songs were stupid or a waste of time. I left as soon as I was old enough and moved around for a while." He looked at her.
She was listening, watching him with wet eyes. She tried to wipe the tears. She couldn't tell what he was on about but she would listen. She owed him that much.
"My music was kind of popular in some of the places I visited and I was able to live off of the little bit I did get from concerts. But nothing ever seemed to work out like I wanted it to." He smiled softly. "And then I came to Beach City and my whole life changed." He had a dreamy look in his eyes. "I met Rose and she changed my life." He reached a hand over and placed it on Jasper's. "And now I'm trying to help you do the same."
Jasper's eyes widened and she ended up blushing as she looked down at this little man. Her gaze drifted to his hand over hers before she hung her head. "Why would you bother helping someone like me?"
"Because everybody deserves a chance." He stood up. "Come on, the van isn't going to clean itself."
Jasper looked up at him and nodded, standing back up. They headed to the carwash together.
Upon reaching the car wash they were greeted by one of the pizza delivery girl. Jasper knew this one, her name was Kiki, she was the chipper one.
"Hey Mr. Universe! Hey Jasp!" She waved.
"Hi Kiki. Here to get the car washed?" Greg asked, walking to her.
She nodded. "Yep, it got stuck in a ditch yesterday and now its got mud all over it."
"Well we'll see what we can do." He walked with her back to her car and looked over it. "Wow, you weren't kidding!"
The entire lower half of the car was caked in a thin layer of dried mud. Greg walked around it, inspecting how dirty the vehicle actually was.
Kiki walked over to Jasper. "Hey Jasp, you doin okay?"
Jasper looked at her and crossed her arms. "I'm a soldier, I'm always okay." She was putting on a brave face but inside she felt like she wanted to just curl up in a corner. She couldn't let others know that.
Kiki smiled and put her hands in her pockets. "I'm glad to hear it." She looked her over. "Hey, you're pretty strong and you know how to fight don’t you? Have you ever considered teaching other people how to fight?"
"Teach others?" She couldn’t believe what the other was suggesting. The very idea was ludicrous of course. Humans couldn't understand the complex fighting style of homeworld, they were too small and weak. But the more she considered it the more she liked it. While the humans were small and fragile many of them still possessed the key features of many of the soldiers back on homeworld.
Kiki nodded. "Yeah! I know I'd love to learn! I mean being able to turn your body into a weapon and protect yourself from anything. That's cool!" She took a stance and made a chopping action with her hand. "Ha-cha!" Her expression became more intense. "Just like in the movies."
Jasper extended a finger and pushed her gently, causing Kiki to stumble and fall forward into Jasper.
Jasper caught her and looked at her. "Your stance is all wrong." She stood her back up straight and then turned. She adopted a strong fighting stance. "Like this."
Kiki smiled and moved her body to imitate Jasper's stance. Jasper reached over and pushed her again. Kiki shifted slightly but didn’t lose her footing.
"Bend your legs a little. If you're doing it right you should be unmovable."
Kiki nodded and adjusted herself according to Jasper's instructions.
Jasper walked around her and put her hands on Kiki's shoulders. "Not so tense. You have to be flexible, able to adapt to anything."
Kiki nodded once and relaxed a bit. Jasper pushed her again but this time she barely swayed. "Good."
Kiki broke the stance and pumped a fist in triumph. "Yes!"
Jasper smiled just a bit. "Very good."
Greg walked over, a smile on his face. "I'm gonna go ahead and send the car through the wash. Did you want wax?"
Kiki shook her head. "Nah, that's okay. Daddy just said to get it cleaned and bring it back asap. Thanks anyways." She handed him the keys.
Greg took the keys and nodded. "No problem. I'll tell you when it's done."
Kiki turned back to Jasper while Greg went to take care of the car. Jasper watched him go before looking back to Kiki. "Do you really think I could teach this to others?"
Kiki nodded. "Yeah! You just taught me and if I can learn anybody can!"
Jasper rubbed the back of her head. "I don't know, some of it can get pretty intense." She didn't want anybody to get hurt. The humans were still small and weak after all.
Kiki flexed her arms and clenched her hands. "I can take it!"
Jasper chuckled softly at the girls intensity. "Alright, but when and how?"
Kiki hummed softly in thought. "I guess we could figure that out." She grabbed Jasper's arm and walked her over to the nearby field of grass and sat down with her. "When are you free?"
Jasper was free all the time now. It was horrible in a way, she didn't have anything to fill the space between hours. It caused her mind to wander to bad places. Greg tried to help her by giving her menial tasks but they barely distracted her.
"I'm free whenever you want."
Kiki crossed her arms, holding her chin and lowering her head as she thought. "Well my schedule is kind of busy with the pizza shop but I'm usually free on Tuesdays..." She nodded to herself. "How about Tuesday morning?"
Jasper nodded. "Sure. Where should we meet?"
"I could just come down here to the car wash." She gestured towards the building. "Would that be okay?"
Jasper nodded. "Yes." She looked at the flowers growing in the field and plucked on, lifting it. She sniffed at it. The fact that her gem was where most others had a nose had always been one of her most striking features but it was also a weakness. Due to the placement of her gem everything she smelled was muddled, like there was some fog clouding that sense. She sighed and twirled the flower between her fingers.
"Hey, those girls who live with Steven have weapons right? Do you have one too?"
Jasper froze, accidentally dropping the flower. She reached up, touching the side of her head. Ever since she had recovered from her corruption she hadn't been able to produce her helmet. She had tried, many times, but she just couldn't do it. "I, I can't."
Kiki shrugged. "Hey, that's alright. I bet you would have something really cool though like a giant battle axe or a hammer!" Kiki smiled.
Jasper nodded. "Um, yeah." She tried not to think about weapons, the war, the fights. Thankfully Greg shouted over at them, snapping Jasper out of her thoughts.
"Oh! Looks like the car's done." Kiki stood up, brushing off her pants. "You coming?"
Jasper looked at her. "Um, you go ahead, I'm going to stay here for a bit longer." She grabbed a handful of grass and pulled it up.
"Alright, I'll see you Tuesday!" She ran off to get the car.
Jasper remained in the field, tearing up the grass and then throwing it away.
Greg eventually came over. "Hey Jasper. Are you doing okay?"
Jasper didn't look at him. "Greg I want to ask you something."
Greg sat down beside her.
"If you had done something bad, really, really bad in your past, and you knew you could never make up for it no matter how hard you tried what would you do?"
Greg began to weave a crown of flowers from the field. "I would keep trying." He soon had half of it done. "Just because you did something doesn't mean you can't make up for it." He finished the crown and stood up. "Besides I know Steven doesn't hate you. If he did he wouldn't have tried to heal you in the first place." He set the crown on her head.
Jasper looked at him. "I wasn't talking about Steven."
Greg looked at her. "Oh, well the principle still applies." He smiles. "Hey is there something you want to do? I know we were supposed to clean the van but if there's something I can do to help you feel better I'd like to do that instead."
Jasper opened her mouth to say something then thought better and pursed her lips. She took the flower crown off and laid it on the field. She wanted to talk, to share her feelings with Greg, to trust him. She was afraid though. If he knew exactly what kind of a monster she was would he still try to help her?
Greg touched her shoulder. "Come on Jasp, talk to me. Keeping all this stuff to yourself, it isn't good, it just makes it pile up until it drags you down."
Jasper nodded. She knew he was right. "When I first emerged from my hole I emerged into a conflict. I was preprogrammed with one objective: protect my diamond and destroy the rebel soldiers."
"The first objective was failed before I even emerged. My diamond had been destroyed long before. So I focused entirely on my second objective, destroying the rebels..." She hesitated, looking at Greg. She knew if she told him this he would never look at her the same way again.
Greg kept his hand on her arm and watched her with a neutral face.
"I destroyed them, I held gems in my hand and shattered them without a second thought. I killed so many, I didn't even care." She could feel tears again. "And now... Now I know the truth. The diamonds are monsters determined to destroy anything that stands against them. They would step over their own soldiers to see their goals made into reality. They don't care about me, about the people of this world. We are like specs of dust to them. That makes me angry." She clenched her hand.
Greg touched her clenched hand. "Jasper, I understand. They're not nice people, they don't care about you or what you went through."
Jasper nods. "I wish I could walk up to Yellow Diamond, look her in the face, and spit on her shoes." She chuckled at the absurdity of that thought. "I'd be shattered before I even made it to her."
Greg moved to hug her but his arms barely made it halfway around her form.
She looked at him with confusion. Was he trying to squeeze her or something? It was adorable that he thought he could. "What are you doing?"
Greg looked at her. "I'm trying to hug you. But you're really big!" He pulled back after a moment. "I'm sorry. I was hoping it would help to make you feel better."
Jasper smiled softly and put an arm around him, pulling him against her side and causing him to gasp. "There." She let him go.
Greg took a couple deep breaths and then looked at her, smiling a bit. "You're so pretty when you smile."
Jasper blushed. "I-I'm not."
Greg touched her hand. "You really are." He stood and wrapped his arms around her head, pulling her against his chest. "Jasper, I'll always be here for you and you can always be yourself around me."
Jasper stared at his shirt then suddenly felt tears welling up. She pressed her face against the shirt and let herself cry for once. She reached a hand up and grabbed at the back of his shirt. "It, it was just so much, it scares me it's all so horrible."
Greg gently ran his fingers through her mane of unruly hair. "Shh, it's okay. You don't ever have to live those days again."
They stayed like that for a while. Jasper eventually pulled away once she had finished crying. She wiped at her eyes with Greg's shirt which was fairly wet by now. He pulled it off and gave it to her, letting her use it to dry her eyes while he got another.
Once she was done he got her up and took her back to the van. He pulled out some sound equipment and started playing tunes. Jasper liked music, it helped her to calm down and relax. They continued to listen to music as they washed the van. Jasper even ended up humming along to a couple of the songs.
After they had washed and dried the van they both sat in the back and enjoyed the music and watching as the sun started to dip lower into the sky. Greg ate a microwaved meal while they watched the sun set.
Greg smiled and set the dishes aside. "You know, I was once kidnapped by Blue Diamond and taken to a human zoo."
Jasper looked at him suddenly, her eyes growing wide. "You what?"
Greg chuckled. "Yeah, it was crazy." He rubbed the back of his head. "The whole experience was a little scary but if I can be honest..." He looked up at the stars which were coming into view as the light of day faded. "I'd like to visit the stars again."
Jasper smiled a bit and nodded. "They really are beautiful." She leaned her head against the side of the van, thinking of all those missions in space, all the times she had watched stars whiz by and not given them a second thought. She sighed softly. She wished she could have those days back and do something right with them.
Greg hopped out of the back of the van and held a hand out to Jasper. "Hey Jasp, dance with me."
Jasper blushed and looked at his hand. "Dance?" She didn't understand, why would he want to dance with her?
He nodded. "Yeah, come on, it'll be fun!"
Jasper hesitantly took his hand and stood, wondering why he wanted to dance with her. She was surprised when he pulled her away from the van and into a space where they would be able to move freely. He then put a hand on her waist and held her hand.
"Put your other hand on my shoulder then just follow my lead."
She followed his instructions. Once he started moving she did her best to keep up with him, watching his feet. He was a bit slow, but he had some technique. After a few moments he began to move faster, causing her to have to move faster to keep up with him.
Greg led her through some twirls and dips, struggling to lift the giant lady back up after he did dip her. He smiled and kept dancing until the music stopped. Once it did he stopped and stepped back, bowing to her.
"Thank you for the dance milady." He gave a flourish of his hand then smiled at her.
Jasper found herself giggling and blushed lightly. "My pleasure sir."
Greg stood up straight. "Maybe some time you could show me one of your dances."
Jasper nodded and smiled. "I could certainly try." She walked over to Greg and hesitated. "Greg, can you close your eyes for a second?"
Greg hesitated for a second but he nodded and shut his eyes.
Jasper leaned down and placed a brief kiss on his forehead. She was blushing darkly. She couldn't believe she had done that.
Greg opened his eyes, blushing lightly. He smiled at her and took her hand. "Jasper, I know you have trouble sleeping sometimes but maybe you'd like to try again?"
She looked at their hands and nodded. Greg led her to the van and took her inside with him. Greg lived out of his van and had a mattress set up in the back to sleep on. It was a little small for Jasper but she didn't really mind. She laid down on her side and waited for Greg to join her. He laid beside her and grabbed a blanket, putting it over both of them. Greg looked up at her and smiled.
"Jasper, I know that sometimes you have bad dreams but maybe I can help you with that. I can be your dream catcher and keep the bad dreams away." He moved to nuzzle up against her. "Would you like that?"
Jasper blushed as she looked at this little man. Surely he couldn't keep the bad dreams away. Even if he was one of the only things that made her happy. She figured it was worth a try. "Okay, I'll give it a try."
Greg nodded and smiled, cuddling up and closing his eyes. Jasper watched him for a bit before imitating him, leaning her head down on the mattress and closing her eyes. Her mind went blank as she slipped into unconsciousness.
She slept better that night than she ever had. She stayed close to Greg all night and had dreams of living with the rest of her sisters in beta and just enjoying her life on earth without the diamonds.
When she woke up the next morning she began to plan for what she would show Kiki when she returned for her martial arts lesson. She helped Greg at the car wash and visited Steven. Together they played and had fun. Jasper smiled more than she had in a while and that night she returned to Greg and curled up with him in the back of the van again. She might be trapped here on this rock for the rest of her life but as long as she had Greg to chase away her bad dreams and help her to smile it would be worth it and she could keep on living.