Chapter Text
Harry knows what a crush is like. He has had a few short-lived ones - Harry cringes at that thought because Cedric - so he knows when he’s starting to get into someone. The thing with this one is… it’s complicated.
Everything concerning bloody Malfoy is complicated.
Because Malfoy has always enjoyed quite a big place in Harry’s mind space. Even when he was revealed to be a Death Eater, he was sitting in the back of his mind, just waiting for an opportunity to creep up again and claim all the attention he can get.
Being the prat that he is, he probably thinks he deserves it, too.
So yeah, Harry knows what a crush is like. His times of obliviously being infatuated with someone died when he broke up with Ginny shortly after returning to Hogwarts for their Eight Year. It was a mutual drift, one they had both agreed to. He still loves her, much like he loves Ron and Hermione.
That’s where the problem lies though. Harry just can’t tell what he wants from Malfoy. Because Harry has been obsessed with him before. Harry has disliked him, has hated him and even felt pity for him when he saw him at his trials.
But that all just doesn’t explain why he wants to sneak up besides Malfoy, sit down next to him and observe the process with his studies of Muggle culture. Which is another weird thing, since Harry himself never really had time or place to explore such things beyond the walls of the Dursleys home.
But it’s there, a nagging in the back of his mind to go find Malfoy in the library and… yeah. That’s that.
There is a shove on his shoulder and then Ron is leaning in and whispering to him. “Mate, you really need to stop doing that.”
Harry draws back, pushing his food aside. “Sorry, just thinking.”
Ron leans in further and looks around before continuing. “Been doing that a lot lately. What’s been holding you? Hermione says it’s an after-war depression thing. That true? Because if it is, I… I’m here for you. To talk. Whenever you need it. Cause you have been spacing out a lot lately. I’m worried.”
“I’m fine. Just a lot to think about.” Harry hesitates, contemplating whether he can confide in Ron or not. His hesitation must show on his face because Ron takes another look around and casts privacy charms.
“Ok. Look, you are my best mate. Something is obviously bothering you and either you can talk to me now or let it bother you more.” Ron gives him an easy shove, smiles and adds, “you know I’m not Hermione smart but I got ears and a loud opinion, if you ever need one.”
And yeah, Harry needs one so he nods, casts another privacy spell to strengthen Ron’s and says, “I… might be interested in someone.”
“Oh god, it’s the talk. Ok, wait.” Ron closes his eyes, takes two breathes and looks at him again. “They grow up so fast.”
Harry cracks a small smile and feels part of the tension that had crept into his body fade. “Step by step,” he agrees.
“Ok, I’m ready. Who is it?”
“I’m… it’s… I don’t know what I want from them,” Harry admits reluctantly. He pushes his food further away and lies his head on his forearms on the table, hiding his face. “"I mean, I just… want to sit together in the library, I think.”
“Then, why don’t you? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. And with someone like Madam Pince around, she might still let you even if she minds.”
Harry snorts but doesn’t say anything. The day Malfoy will willingly let Harry to sit with him is the day he will confess his undying love to Madam Pince. The only other time they shared anything even slightly like that was when death loomed in flames underneath and the only other choice was Harry’s broom.
He sighs.
Ron must take it as resignation because he pats Harry’s shoulder until Hermione enters the Great Hall and then he proceeds to pretend nothing happened.
Great mate.
***
Harry finds himself in the library the next evening. The day had been fun and Ginny had entertained the whole Great Hall with the letter Charlie had send her during lunch. And while Harry had enjoyed himself quite a lot, he couldn’t help but note that Malfoy had been absent. Again.
He just keeps skipping lunch even though he’s present for every other meal. And so, Harry takes Ron’s words as courage and walks into the library, hoping Malfoy would at least not scream into his face.
What he finds instead is Malfoy nose deep in books about Muggles. The table is unsurprisingly empty aside from Malfoy who took advantage of the space given to him and splayed out all his belongings and books.
Harry sits across of him, takes out the book about transfiguration he had prepared beforehand and pretends to read.
It takes Malfoy exactly thirteen minutes to realise he’s sharing his table with someone and another minute to process that it’s Harry Potter.
Harry knows because he goes from slightly surprised to being pinched. Harry does his best to ignore his stare and pretend to read his book. The whole scene holds out for five minutes before Malfoy sighs and turns his attention back to his work.
Harry suspects the rather silent encounter only ended so well because Madam Pince is standing behind them and sorting through things. That’s a point for Ron.
Harry just smiles and starts reading for real.
***
It’s like the universe is on his side for once in his life. He doesn’t have to fight, doesn’t have to protect and neither does he need to prove anything to anyone. It’s just as easy as entering the library, grabbing what he had prepared for the day and doing his work.
The flicker of annoyance that would cross Malfoy’s face whenever Harry took a seat on his table stopped at day six, Madam Pince’s presence behind them on day eleven (something about sorting out books in the section had kept her there).
So Harry likes to think they have developed their relationship from hostile to Icanstandyourcompany. It’s a big step, really, even if they are particularly ignoring one another.
So it comes rather surprising when by day fourteen, Malfoy puts everything he’s holding down and stares at him. Harry tries to ignore him as best as can but the prickle of awareness makes him squirm in his seat.
“Go on, Potter. Tell me what I did to warrant your daily attention.” He says it with a detached tone, but there is a note of annoyance Harry doesn’t want to encourage.
So he looks up, tries his best at a friendly smile. Judging by Malfoy’s face, he, too can see the awkwardness in his expression. “Nothing, really. Got a lot of reading to do now that we got a second chance.”
Malfoy says nothing. Just continues to stare him down and Harry can understand that. He, too, would be suspicious if Malfoy suddenly wanted to spend time in his presence. “Look, I- It’s nothing, really. I just saw you here and thought it’s nice company.” Which is half the truth.
Malfoy just raises an eyebrow. “Potter, since when have we ever been nice company?”
“The last two weeks?” Harry tries. And hey, that’s a truth.
“We didn’t talk.”
“We could have. We are now. And look how nice it is. We are talking and haven’t exchanged insults yet.”
That Malfoy doesn’t give him a sneer or snort or any other kind of rude gesture speaks for Harry’s victory. So he follows Malfoy’s example and continues reading his books and taking notes.
When Malfoy leaves, Harry says, “Bye.” Malfoy stops, nods vaguely and is gone as always. Minutes later he’s leaving the library, too and joining Ron for a game of wizard’s chess.
***
On day sixteen, Neville comes to their table. Harry expected his friend to be here for him but is more than just dumbfounded when Neville merely greets him and turns to Malfoy.
“Draco, you forgot your notes with me. I brought them and added the bit we talked about yesterday evening. That should be it but if you can think of more, add them. I’m sure you are the better one for this task.”
And just as fast as he came, Neville leaves again, as if this is an ever day occurrence. From the way he talked, Harry thinks it is.
So Harry just gaps at Malfoy until the latter is uncomfortable enough to stop reading and glares him down. “What?”
“You and Neville are mates?”
Malfoy pulls a face, and then another one because apparently one expression of disgust is not enough for such a suggestion. “We are not mates. He… helps me with something. And I help him with potions. It’s an exchange benefiting for both of us, to say the least.” And then Malfoy determinedly stares at his book and ignores Harry’s presence for the rest of the evening.
Harry will get to the bottom of this.
***
The bottom of it, Neville tells him, is really Malfoy’s business so he can’t talk about it. But he tells Harry not to worry and that he is in no danger or anything. If nothing else, he gets to hex Malfoy on occasions. Which he won’t disclose either.
And left with a mystery like this, Harry just can’t sit around and do nothing. How had he not noticed that Neville and Malfoy met two times a week right after his library stay. These days Malfoy would leave an hour earlier.
Harry knows because he started taking note of everything. No matter whether it’s what Malfoy is reading or when he’s leaving. And the day after the evenings spend with Neville, both of them look confused and rattled.
Whatever it is they are doing, it’s getting to both of them but Harry doesn’t think Malfoy would tell him. Neville just smiles and tells Harry not to worry. “It’s a good thing. And it’s Malfoy’s story to tell.”
Only Malfoy is all about his reading. Just as always, he’s got his pointy nose buried deep in a book and ignores Harry completely.
And Harry, finally not able to hold back anymore, lies his own book back on the table and proceeds to stare at Malfoy until the Slytherin can’t ignore him anymore.
Malfoy holds strong for exactly ten minutes and sighs. “Do tell, Potter, why you are glaring at me. I was not aware I did something to anger you.”
“Why are you two meeting?”
“Whatever do you mean?” Malfoy picks his book up again. Harry, in an act of stubborn obsession, leans over and grabs it right out of Malfoy’s hand.
“I mean Neville and you. Why are you two meeting and why do you always look like your favorite pet died the day after?”
Malfoy cringes but doesn’t say anything. He, too, just stubbornly glares back at Harry for a few moments. “I’m sure that’s none of your business.”
“Of course it’s my business. Neville is my mate!”
“Then you should ask him, not me. I’m neither your mate nor friend. Surely you don’t expect me to tell you anything.”
Stupid, stubborn git, is what Malfoy is. Harry fumes and stands up to hiss into his face. “I asked him but he won’t talk. Maybe you are threatening him.”
“Or maybe he realises it’s none of your business and his stupid Gryffindor nobility prevents him from spilling mine to you,” Malfoy hisses back. “Ta for disturbing my afternoon. So much for nice company.” And with a swish of his robes, Malfoy leaves the library.
So much for having a crush. Hell, being friends seems impossible right now.
Harry throws Malfoy’s stupid book back on the table and glares at it.