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He wasn't sure how long he sat on that bench. By the time he looked up, the sky had already given into the darkness, countless stars dotting the deep blue with white speckles. It would have been more beautiful if the streetlights didn't hinder the vision, and his tears didn't fog everything to the point his eyes now hurt, swollen and probably red from all the crying he did.
Karamatsu couldn't calm down. At such time, his family was probably asleep. He could sneak in without making too much of a noise even despite the crutch and how every unsure step of his might lead to a ruinous fall if he wasn't careful. Not to mention the way he still shook whole, after coming down from what he sensed as a panic attack. He didn't want to go back home— not yet. He had no idea how to face them all even as his wounds started healing. He was scared.
It was probably too late to find Chibita's stand. Night came a few hours ago, probably. Karamatsu didn't know how long passed, but his limbs felt heavier and the growling from his belly was a good indicator that he was hungry. He hadn't put any food in his mouth since lunch. Maybe he should work those leg muscles a bit and take a walk. If limping heavily and relying on a crutch could be called walking at all. Pathetic, huh?
He stood up on one shaky leg and attempted a couple steps forward. When he was sure he wasn't going to fall on his face, he let out a heavy breath and proceeded his way out of the park, recognizing the path that would lead him towards home. There was no other place he could go for the night. A hotel would have been nice if he had any money on him.
Karamatsu wasn't too happy about wandering the streets alone in the middle of the night, with the risk of running into gangs or people wanting any sort of shady business with him. Although he didn't have anything in his wallet, he wasn't exactly in the mood of getting beaten up and having to get dragged back into the hospital. It scared him how he was more worried about seeing his family than facing some random dudes with ill intentions.
He tried not to think of anything as he walked. There had been countless thoughts circling his head for hours and hours and he was tired of dealing with them all. Thinking too much never helped him. What his body and mind craved most right now was rest. Hopefully a calming hot bath. A familiar pillow under his head. The warmth of five other bodies engulfing him protectively as he slept.
Hot liquid streamed down his cheeks, again, and his first reaction was an irritated swipe of his uninjured hand over them. Hell, he cried so much already, how did he still have tears left in him? Huffing as he also rubbed the underside of his nose to get rid of the snot, Karamatsu stopped for a moment to gather his bearings and make sure he was going the right way.
Then, he saw it. His house was the smallest out of the buildings in his neighborhood. Nothing about it changed even after all those years. At the very least he could tell its shape apart from all others. With a long sigh, Karamatsu ignored his stomach twisting with anxiety as he made for the front door, making plans in his head about how he was going to look for food and then probably watch some TV, maybe fall asleep on the floor and occupy as little space as possible.
Finding Osomatsu awake and standing by the front door was the least thing he expected to see tonight. Karamatsu instinctively took a step back, fear clinging to his gradually speeding heart.
“There you are!” The eldest rapidly marched towards him. “What the hell were you doing?”
Karamatsu registered the question as his older brother asking why he had been out so late, and scrambled for an answer as he tried to stretch his mouth into a constructed smile. It was useless in the face of those eyes still bearing pain from the crying, but his inclination to avoid making his brothers worry was pretty much built into him.
“I decided to go for a walk,” he answered with a little shrug.
“... Ah.” Osomatsu didn't seem to buy it. “With your crutch, huh?”
Karamatsu's following “Heh” was devoid of humour or feigning coolness. He didn't want to stand there and answer every question Osomatsu was probably going to throw at him, so he made an attempt to limp past his brother and head inside, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He flinched instantly.
“Everyone was looking for you,” Osomatsu told him. “We were so worried.”
It was hard to believe they all suddenly started caring about him, but something about how softly Osomatsu spoke to him made those words hold truth. Did they all really go out of their way to organize a search team for stupid, embarrassing, worthless Karamatsu?
“... I see,” he muttered, lowering his head as his fake smile faltered. “I'm sorry, brother.”
Osomatsu shook his head. When Karamatsu looked back up, he could see a warm smile. “Nah, I'm sorry.”
Before the second born could completely take in that apology, Osomatsu took his uninjured arm and gently draped it across his shoulders. “I bet you're starving,” he chuckled a bit, coaxing Karamatsu to walk along with him. “We left your dinner food aside and I can heat it up if you want me to.”
“... Hm. Thank you.” Karamatsu nodded, feeling more warm liquid flow from his aching eyes. He didn't flinch this time when Osomatsu tenderly rubbed their cheeks together all of a sudden, stopping the tears there from continuing their descent.
“You crybaby,” he gently mocked. “Stop going off on your own at this ungodly hour. If you need a walk so badly, let Oniichan keep you company. I've got all the free time in the world for you.”
Karamatsu leaned against Osomatsu just a little, unable to hold back his sobs. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea to rely on the only older brother he had sometimes. His currently weak self truly needed a stronger shoulder to support him in that moment.
“... Okay.”