Work Text:
If someone had told Emily Fields three years ago that she would be dating Alison Dilaurentis, she would have laughed in their face, for a number of reasons. Three years ago, Emily was in the closet. Three years ago, Alison was manipulative and harsh. Three years ago, Emily was in love with Alison but had no idea what to do about it.
Two years ago, Alison was missing and then dead. Part of Emily died with her, but Emily had moved on. She dated Maya, then Samara, then Paige. She found love again; love that was actually reciprocated. She was actually able to kiss someone who would not tell her it was “practice for the real thing,” or snap at her. The more she had thought about Alison treating her this way, the angrier she had become with Alison. Then she felt guilty for being angry with a girl who was murdered so she let her anger go.
But things changed when she found out Alison had been a live this entire time. After the initial shock, the anger returned. She had frequent dreams where Alison came to apologize but Emily yelled at her. Slowly, however, the dreams became less intense and Emily woke up with the weight on her chest lighter and lighter. When she was able to see Alison again, before Spencer ruined the moment, most of the anger was gone and the feeling Emily had felt all those years ago had returned. She then became obsessed with trying to reach out to Alison again.
Maybe she was crazy. Maybe she should have given up. She was in a relationship with Paige, who she loved but she had always felt like there was something missing. Paige was wonderful, she was, but she had history with Alison, as dysfunctional as it was.
Deep down she believed Alison had loved her, she just had a bad way of showing it. She never told the girls any of this because she had no idea what they would say and she didn't want their judgements. Alison had done horrible things to her and the other girls. She was manipulative, she knew how to turn them against each other, and she showed no remorse. But that moment where Alison said she regretted how much she hurt Emily, Emily knew she had changed. The old Alison would never have said that.
Emily loved Alison. She still loved Alison. She will always love Alison. Alison was, she was...
“What're you thinking about?” A sleepy voice said in Emily's ear.
Alison was hers.
“You,” Emily said to Alison. Alison smiled and wiggled on the bed so her face rested between Emily's shoulder and neck.
“All good things, I'm sure?”
Emily turned her head slightly so she could look at Alison. Ali looked like she was about to fall asleep, but she seemed to sense Emily's gaze and looked up at her.
“This feels almost surreal,” Alison said quietly. “I spent all that time leading you on and then pushing you away.”
“Ali, you've apologized enough. It's really okay.”
Alison shook head against Emily's neck. “No, it's not. Those two years I was gone I thought about it so much. At first I didn't feel much; I was numb to most things around me. Then, slowly, I felt sicker and sicker when I thought about how I treated you. How I treated Hanna, Spencer, and Aria.”
“You've changed, Ali, and I know that. But you're still you. A good you,” Emily added when she saw Alison open her mouth. “The you I saw deep down and fell in love with. You were tough and confident, which is what I loved, and now you have a sweetness mixed in with that.”
Emily felt something warm and wet drip down her neck.
“Emily, you're the sweet one. And you always were the sweet one and that's why I fell in love with you.”
Emily stroked Alison's hair. “I know. You've told me.”
“I'm going to tell you everyday, Emily Fields, so you better get used to it.”
Emily kissed Alison on the cheek. “Okay, Ali.”
Alison curled up against Emily's body and Emily wrapped her strong arms around Alison. A couple minutes later Emily felt Alison's warm, even breath against Emily's shoulder. Emily glanced down at Alison's relaxed face, to see Alison's mouth hanging slightly open. A wide smile spread across Emily's face.
Three years ago, if someone told her that Alison Dilaurentis would be falling asleep in her arms or Alison would be telling her she loved Emily, Emily would have laughed.