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Up Close and Personal

Summary:

But it isn’t too dark for him to be able to see clearly, nor it is too dark to tell what the sight before him means – with the way Nino and Ohno’s foreheads are tipped together like that, while Nino caresses their Leader’s jaw as if Ohno’s skin is made of vulnerable glass, it’s not that hard to guess.

Notes:

originally posted in my lj.

Work Text:

He’s rounding the way towards the backstage shower stall when he hears the faint sound of Nino’s voice, followed by another that could only be their Leader just as he is turning the corner. Slowing down his steps as if on autopilot, and keeping his footsteps as quiet as possible just as he is about to reach the corner, Jun raises his head -- and stops.

Ohno and Nino are there, alright, and they are standing so close together that he could no longer pinpoint where one starts or where the other ends; the darkness around them doesn’t help either, or the fact that his vision is currently not on its best behavior (he removed his contacts the minute they exited the main stage for their final encore of the night).

But it isn’t too dark for him to be able to see clearly, nor it is too dark to tell what the sight before him means – with the way Nino and Ohno’s foreheads are tipped together like that, while Nino caresses their Leader’s jaw as if Ohno’s skin is made of vulnerable glass, it’s not that hard to guess. Even a chicken with half a brain could tell that the two has finally managed to talk things out between them, and has finally accepted the fact that all those subtle touches meant something more than they ought to, and that the years of tiptoeing around each other eventually have to end somehow.

His mind wanders briefly to the time he last saw them like this – and then back to the fact that they are voluntarily standing so close to each other like this in private, away from the cameras the way he remembers seeing them before, exactly before their Leader’s scandal a couple of years back. 

It had been way too long since the last time he saw Ohno and Nino stood close to each other on their own, without anyone prompting them and Jun feels the oddness of it all fade away just by simply watching them now. It’s like the awkward distance between the two has been bridged without either knowing it, and Jun couldn’t deny the fact that he likes exactly what he is seeing.

Back then, they were convinced (at least Sho and Aiba were vocal about it, him, not so much) that Ohno and Nino aren’t just normal friends but something more – the touching and the almost obscene way they regard each other couldn’t have been just for show, but after Ohno’s scandal hit the front page of almost every tabloid in Japan, even he had doubts especially when the two began to drift apart.

None of them was brave enough to confirm their suspicions then, even after the fact that Nino kept his distance from Ohno since the day the scandal broke out and Ohno looking increasingly confused, then disgusted with himself every day after.

At least the camaraderie stayed when the two are in front of the cameras, but behind closed doors, all of them knew that something did change between the two since then.

But this – this clearly means something else entirely.

He would have leave them be if it’s not for the fact that he badly needed the shower and that there is no way he’d be able to pass through without getting noticed. So he figures it is better to make his presence known, let them know he is there. He’s about to call them out, his teasing remark hanging loose at the tips of his tongue when Nino suddenly shifted and, to his horror (and silent embarrassment, really), cups Ohno’s jaw and kisses Ohno’s slightly parted lips gently. He blinks a couple of times as if by doing that the image will disappear, but it only made the sight clearer – more real.

Ohno’s eyes remained closed even when he starts to kiss back, leaning further into Nino as Nino’s fingers worm to the back of Ohno’s head to keep Ohno’s face in place. Ohno’s arms remained limp down his sides, slumping most of his weight against Nino as he kiss Nino back.

Jun freezes in place, wonders which is more important now – taking his shower or preserving his sanity, because both are extremely important. Even then, he stays where he is and continues watching the two.

Nino’s the first to move away, but not too far, no; his other hand is still on Ohno’s hair, and the other is cradling Ohno’s face tenderly, like Nino is afraid Ohno will cease to exist the minute he lets him go.

Ohno moves forward and leans his forehead against Nino’s shoulder, voice barely audible even through the lingering silence. “Kazu –“ he murmurs Nino’s name, his voice shaking that even he is not sure whether the voice belongs to Ohno until Nino confirms this by nodding his head and planting a small kiss against the side of Ohno’s jaw.

“Shhh,” Nino hushes him and even though his face is mostly hidden by the semi-darkness, he could tell that Nino’s expression is soft, too soft that Jun is afraid he is looking into a stranger’s face entirely, and not at his friend’s face. 

It’s almost surreal to be looking at Nino and know that such expression seldom graces the other man’s face; but it is there now, clearly visible despite the dark shadows looming around him and Ohno, looking immensely satisfied just by simply staring at the face of the man Jun is convinced Nino is in love with almost half of his adult life.

“Let it go, Satoshi,” Nino whispers, his voice is equally low and Jun has to strain hard to hear the words Nino is saying. Ohno shakes his head as if to contradict Nino, hands slowly reaching up to grip at the hem of Nino’s shirt. 

“W-Why?” Ohno mumbles, and his voice is laden with so much intensity that Jun doesn’t know what to make of it – his tone is filled with raw guilt and so many other things he doesn’t know the name of and Jun wonders whether it’s high time he leave them be. 

But then Nino leans up to press his lips against Ohno’s temple and all thoughts of propriety left his brain as he plants his feet firmly on the spot he’s standing at, and resigns himself to listening.

“Because,” Nino says then, as he runs his hand up and down Ohno’s back and pulls Ohno closer, like the already non-existent distance between them he still couldn’t stand. “I don’t like it when you’re like this – it’s in the past, so let it stay there, okay? Forgive yourself, Oh-chan, because I’ve already forgiven you,” Ohno ducks his head yet again, pushes his face against the juncture between Nino’s neck and shoulder and grips Nino’s shirt like a lifeline.

“I don’t –“ Ohno starts, then pauses; Nino holds him, holds him, holds him, keeps him grounded against him.

Ohno’s shoulders shake and Jun has an inkling of what they were talking about, watches as Nino tries to coax Ohno out from his hiding so he could stare at Ohno’s face.

“Oh-chan, let it go,”

Ohno makes a noise from the back of his throat and moves to bury his nose against the start of Nino’s hair, fingers trembling as he grips at Nino’s elbow.

“How can you even say that when – “

Nino stops him yet again with a kiss, softer than the last one. “Because I love you, and because I know it won’t happen again – you promised me, right?” Ohno nods at this, keeps nodding until Nino cups his chin and kisses the tips of his nose. “So stop -- stop beating yourself up about something that no longer exists; what is important is what’s here, us together, and the things we could do to get through all of these – together,”

“I hurt you,” Ohno cuts in, still seemingly unconvinced. “And I didn’t do anything at the time to make it stop,”

Nino’s smile this time is so, so tender, and Jun is pretty sure that the shine on Nino’s eyes does not have anything to do with the tiny sliver of light hitting the sides of his and Ohno’s faces.

“It doesn’t matter, Satoshi,” Nino says, lips against Ohno’s cheek. “You’re here now – I don’t think there’s anything I’d wanted more than that,”

Jun sees the way Ohno bites his lips and stares at Nino’s face like he couldn’t believe it either, breathe leaving his lungs like a huge wave of relief as he leans in for another kiss.

Nino is there to catch him, meeting him halfway, the way he promised he will.

+++

Dabbing his eyes using the towel that is wrapped around his shoulders, Jun walks away.

+++

And if ever Aiba notices the way Jun’s eyes is shining and why his voice sounded raspy, Jun will ignore him.

He doesn’t need to tell Aiba that he’s just witnessed something beautiful. 

Even though he doesn’t normally connects the word beautiful (aside from when Sho is wearing that leather pants of his) when he thinks of his friends.

Just this once, he did; he still does.

 

+++++

 

Omake 1:

(this took place after the kiss and before Jun goes to leave)

He knows this is clearly invasion of privacy but Jun couldn't really find it in himself to feel properly ashamed, watching as Ohno worms his hand round the back of Nino's neck, tilts Nino's head and kisses Nino deeply. It would have been awkward to watch, if it isn't for the fact that when Nino kisses back, his eyes are shut closed and there is moisture falling at the side of his face when a tiny sliver of light hits the back of his and Ohno's faces.

He sees the way Nino's fingers are trembling against their hold around Ohno's shoulders, lips kissing Ohno's own as if he still couldn't believe Ohno is there.

Ohno's the one who pulled away this time, hand cupping Nino's cheek as Nino cries silently.

"See, I'm still hurting you," Ohno whispers, his voice raw with emotions Jun wishes he could put a name on, clawing his fingers into a ball as Nino's shoulder shake as he muffles his sobs against Ohno's palm.

"No no," Nino counters, his tone gentler -- fonder -- "I'm just -- I'm just happy, Oh-chan... I'm so happy I can't -- I love you, I love you so much,"

Ohno bites his lips when Nino tilts his head and kisses the inside of his palm, nodding his head when words doesn't seem to favor him at the moment.

"I love you too," Ohno whispers, repeating it a couple of times, and Jun feels his chest constricts when Nino stares at Ohno's face like he couldn't believe he's hearing it either. "I do, Kazu," Ohno follows and leans in, noses at Nino's cheek as Nino holds him close.

"Satoshi --"

"Allow me to make things up to you, ne?" Ohno asks, "I want to make it up to you.. I want to --"

Nino cuts him off with another sound kiss against the inside of Ohno's palm, smiling now. "Okay, Oh-chan.." he says, tugging at Ohno's forearm and reeling him back in.

Ohno smiles into Nino's mouth and kisses him quiet again.

Jun closes his eyes and swallows the lump forming his throat.

++++

Omake 2:

(this took place a few minutes after Jun went back to the dressing room)

Around fifteen minutes after, the door opens with a red-eyed Nino with an equally red-eyed Ohno on tow.

Jun quickly averts his eyes the minute he realized Nino's fingers are tangled against Ohno's, who doesn't look like he's anywhere near to wanting to let Ohno's hand go.

"Oh, they're back!" Aiba pipes in, bouncing over at the two and looking them over. Aiba is smiling wide and years of dealing with Aiba tells him that Aiba is about to say something idiotic, which probably --

"Oh, so you guys are okay now? You finally made up, huh? that's good, that's good! Did you kiss and -- hey!" Aiba yells as something hits the back of his head.

"Jun-kun, no violence," Sho puts in mildly, shaking his head as Aiba mumbles about why other people couldn't be happy when others are happy too, then swiftly slap a hand over his mouth, eyes wide as he stares as Jun's face.

Nino guides Ohno to the couch and pushes him down before sitting next to him, their fingers still tangled together.

"Oh. OH?!" Aiba quips, looking like a man who just discovered the answer to the universe.

"What?" Jun and Sho counters at the same time, while Ohno stares at the space before him. Nino remains quiet, thumb rubbing the back of Ohno's palm.

"So, you're not that evil!" Aiba yells, grinning, pointing at Jun's face. "You saw them, didn't you? You saw them kiss and made up and that was why you came back crying your guts out! Matsumoto Jun, you massive sap!"

Three pairs of eyes landed on Jun's face.

Sho's grin is so, so fond when he says, "Ah, I thought that's a secret; at least that didn't came from me, I'm saved, thank God..."

Nino snorts. "What the hell do you mean by that -- oh. OH?! you two???" Nino seemed shell shock, blinking when Ohno says nothing but nods his head like he knows this is the case.

Aiba nearly doubled and, to the shock of all of them, he started crying.

Jun is red on the face, trying to keep himself from hitting Sho; he focuses his attention to Aiba instead.

"What the hell is it now?!"

Aiba wails. "So this means I'm the only one who doesn't have a boyfriend??? Leader and Nino-chan, and you and Sho-chan???!! I hate you all!"

Ohno and Sho shake their heads.

"I'm sure Becky-chan isn't going to like hearing you say that, Aiba-chan," Sho muses.

That seemed to shut Aiba up. 

"Becky-chan, you remember? your girlfriend?" Nino adds.

Aiba grins despite his tears. "Oh."

Jun shakes his head. "Idiot."